/ftmg/ - female to male general

>>7824819
Used to be a skinny kid, then a chubby kid, then went full on Auschwitz tier, then fit. Reverse anorexia though.

>>7824841

fuck if i know... i know some rituals i have are related to the abuse, but i wouldn't blame the ocd on abuse entirely...

it's cool btw... you're free to ask questions and if i don't feel like answering or going into detail i won't

> scrawny kid up until highschool
> probably could have gotten away with keyhole
> teenage angst hits and I eat my feelings
> eventually lose the weight, but tits forever ruined

feels bad

>>7824819
>underweight since I was little
>not anorexic, but doctors always bitched about it
>now I'm getting /fit/, and plan to get fitter on T
Feels good man.

>>7824819
why be anorexic when you can be a fat man with moobs?

>>7825039
Getting good top surgery results is easier when not a disgusting hamplanet

>>7825061
but if you're fat enough you don't even need top surgery

>>7825039

why be fat when you could be human sized?

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>>7825069
You will also be genderless
>tfw the true non-binary

>>7825061
Fattys who get top surgery always end up looking so awkward, because their chest becomes a wide flat plateau. Fat cis guys inevitably have some natural moobage, but trans guys just get everything removed. I don't get how they can transition from female to male, but not even try to transition from hamplanet to healthy.

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>>7824819
>tfw stopped eating everything except cereal
>look at least 3-4 inches taller
>no curves
>don't have to wear a binder anymore

anorexia is god tier m80s how come no one told me about this

>>7824819
not anorexic but ive always been mildly underweight.

I was 120 at 5'6 pre T, now im on T at 5'8 and I weight 110 because i dropped down to about 10% bf.

Its really hard for me to gain weight and I've been trying to gain muscle for the 1.5 years ive been on T. rip I know ultimately the only problem I have is not eating enough but its difficult af for me.

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> been mildly underweight my whole life
> develop a restrictive ed and an obsession with eating as little as possible
> now 5'4 and ~102 pounds
> can't go on t because i've fucked over my bone density by undereating

feels bad man

>>7825211

i guess i kind of have that sort of goal in mind. if i cant go on testosterone and get top surgery that's gonna have to be the next best thing :-/

>>7825047
Stinky

>>7825374
W-what? That's a thing?

What do you think I should do pre-t?

Will anorexia help me or make me taller, or will it fuck up my bones? Getting fit doesn't really improve anything for me. Somebody give me some info on what mild anorexia does to you.

>>7825634
Don't do it anon. Rebound weight gain with anorexia is a real problem, and yes, it will fuck up your bones.

Just eat less food and don't sit around all day. Not that hard.

>>7825634
>Getting fit doesn't really improve anything for me

why?

>>7825634
I'm a few inches shorter than everyone in my family, including my sister. That's because of anorexia. Taller? no. Temporarily more androgynous? Yes. It removes hips, tits and periods.

>>7825657
I'm lazy, but even when I try consistently I can hardly gain any muscle. I've been stuck at the same weight for 3+ years.

If anything I'm probably slightly underweight for my height, but I heard anorexia increases your T, and I'd do anything to get even a litle taller(or more masculine).

>>7825671
>I heard anorexia increases your T, and I'd do anything to get even a litle taller(or more masculine).
You're retarded, don't bother.

You hardly gain muscle because you're not doing anything. I've gained nice biceps from lifting at work for the past 3 months when I could never gain muscle prior.
Also the only thing that really helps with height is genetics.

>>7825709
And now I'm the retard. Meant to reply to >>7825674

>>7824819
>tfw have to lose 40 pounds for top surgery by november.
It's not fair. I like being fat, and my girlfriend likes me fat too ;-;

>>7825709
I lift real weights, not just shit at work. I also have extremely low test levels considering I'm not on t yet and don't take steroids. Everyone knows anyone with large amts of estrogen you can hardly put on muscle.

>see pics of myself from 15 years back
>have broader shoulders than all the cis boys in class
wew


I kinda looked like a tank :)

>>7825761
Hardly, but it's still not impossible.
How much protein do you eat? Don't go too hard, but I've found that consuming ~50g a day on top of regular work gives you decent muscle despite being pre-T.

>chubby kid
>lost weight around 12-14
>stayed skinny for the next ten years, was able to get keyhole surgery because small boobs
>gained 50 lbs in the last 6 months
help
the only bright side is it's male distribution fat. but i'd still rather stay skinny. I could live with the weight, but I'm starting to get disgusting stretch marks which make me hate myself

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I almost made a new thread without seeing this one. Whoops.

>>7819871
Good Excuse by Jaryuu Dokuro.
It doesn't go anywhere, I just cropped a cute panel.

>>7824819
Reeee, don't remind me. Doc wants me to get up to a 20 bmi. At least I can post 3d waifu, I was running out of Tharja anyway.

>>7825211
This. Cereal is shit tier though. Stats?

>>7825758
Why do you like being fat, anon?

>>7826158
Good story

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>that period of time where you start a new job but haven't gotten paid yet and you're running out of money

>>7826231
bad planning desu

>>7825017
> eventually lose the weight, but tits forever ruined
I had tiny sag tits after recovering from anorexia - it got way better after avoiding wearing bras, moiturizing a lot, and training pectoral muscles

>>7826158
Well I'm not crazy full of rolls or anything, but I'm got a big gut (5'7" 200 pounds), and I like it because it gives me size to match my personality, and I secretly wanna be a straight bear.

>>7825634
> Will anorexia help me or make me taller
What the hell? how being starved could be beneficial for your growth

>>7826445
i can say that it doesn't make you taller, if you're anorexic or just not eating well in general growing up then you might not grow as much. i kinda suspect that happened with me

>>7825468

(same anon as before) yeah, sucks mate

>>7826662
>yeah, sucks mate
Did your doctor tell you this or did you assume it? Have you been diagnosed with osteoporosis?

>>7824819
I've pretty much always had an eating disorder, and I tried recovery, but I'm back into full-blown restriction and purging soon.

>>7825634
Anorexia will stunt your growth. My mother was malnourished as a child and now she's much shorter than she would actually be had she eaten normally. I also know a mtf who went anorexicmode to stunt her growth. Needless to say it worked, she's below average female height even though her brother is over 6 feet.

>>7826745
Thanks for the anecdote. I just thought because anorexia decreases estrogen in your body, your growth plates won't close as fast as they would if you had normal estrogen. It's probably too late for me anyways.

>>7826760
Nah. If you're anorexic, your body will go into an emergency state and focus on keeping itself alive instead of growing or continuing menstruation. And ofc it fucks with your bones in general too.

>>7826726
not an official osteoporosis diagnosis per se, but i did have a doctor tell me that my bones are way below the level of density they should be. so i do take it that there's something wrong with it

I need to shower but I'm feeling especially dysphoric today

Instead of being anorexic, build up your shoulder and back muscles and destroy the hourglass by making yourself a barrel of muscle. There's a reason a lot of hardcore female bodybuilders end up needing breast implants.

>>7826922
stinky

Is it just me or is empathy a little harder to do now I've been on T for a while?

It's not entirely bad it just feels... odd. And like I should feel slightly bad that I don't care as much as I used to.

>>7827040
Haven't had any issues with that but I didn't have much to start with.

>>7827030
Why does someone comment this then follow it with "stinky" every /ftmg/ post?

>>7827016
This. EDs don't solve anything.

>man
>anorexic
Choose one and only one.

>>7824819
I've been a fatty since I hit (female) puberty, been 5'4" and ~160-170lbs since I was 15. Helped me hide my chest, but now that I'm on T and post top-surgery I'm trying to cut back on binge eating when bored. I like having things in my mouth though.

>>7827040
Before I got on T they gave me a list of things that can happen, and a sort of emotional emptiness was part of that, so it's probably normal.

>>7827116
>I'm trying to cut back on binge eating when bored. I like having things in my mouth though.
This is my shit too. It's so hard.
I'd rather work out for 3 hours a day then not eat like a pig sometimes, but it's not realistic or sustainable. Just start drinking water until you feel sick and get shit tons of hobbies that keep your hands busy.
Really, the best fight against being a fat ass is having lots of people to hand out with and go places, and being shameful enough to never binge in front of them or in public. Hard for a basement dweller though.

>>7827030
i spong bathed myself and im slightly less stinky now

>>7825211
have you posted in the /fa/ thinspo gen before?

>>7827237
good

>>7827140
Thanks for reminding me I need to pick up a reusable water bottle sometime. And yeah, I'm borderline neet so I fall back on snacking to pass the time more than anything. I barely eat anything when in public. Gonna try to be outside more this summer.

>>7825211
cute fruit of the looms

>>7826231

whenever i'm broke as shit i usually just have friends who will do shit like give me drugs, alcohol, cigarettes and food... so it's not too bad

not that i use people... whenever i have anything i share it with other people, i just chill with people who have similar attitudes

>>7827367

+ do you have anyone you can rely on?

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>>7826158
5'7, 115

>>7827281
no, but i do post on /soc/ occasionally

>>7827323
t-thank

>>7827116
>I like having things in my mouth though.
As a fellow boredom eater: Make tea in tasty flavors, with stevia if you have a sweet tooth. Flavored seltzer is fun too. If you gotta munch, popcorn is relatively low calorie if you stove/air-pop it yourself.

Try to avoid buying snack food that comes in a large container, and pick up individual serving containers. It will cost a bit more, but it makes portioning a lot simpler.

>>7827116
>>7827140
gum helps with wanting to have stuff in your mouth

>>7827666
Dick also help :^)

>>7827112
this

t. cis male passing by

>>7827112

what's funny is that mentality is what makes guys with eating disorders less likely to get treatment...

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>>7827112
furiouspete had anorexia

So I'm a cis male, but my voice never really changed, I have a lot of trouble building muscle, and a sort of feminine face (Round, full lips, wide set eyes). But I also am fairly tall, and hairy.
Would taking Testosterone fix my voice and muscle problem without making me hairier? Also I don't want acne.

>>7827666
Gum can make you hungrier because it simulates chewing but your stomach doesn't get anything to digest.

>>7828738
taking testosterone would do the following:
>more hair
>more acne
>easier to build muscle
it would not do the following post-puberty:
>deepen voice
>masculinize facial structure

>>7828856
Shitty.
Thank you, none the less.

Been really considering bulimia. Just until my tummy is flat instead of pudgy. Been eating only 2 small meals a day but isn't flattening my stomach. Been doing push ups, pull ups, chin ups, sit ups and planking.

>>7828856
>it would not do the following post-puberty:
>>deepen voice
not true. test deepens your voice to matter what.
Jeydon wale is 26 and just started taking t and his voice has changed dramatically already

>>7827855
True, sorry for being such an asshole.

>>7828948
post-female puberty and post-male puberty are not the same thing

>>7829024
wtf, so I'm just screwed?
I can sort of fake a man voice, but I've been told it just sounds like a teenager.

>>7828867
That poster is misinformed, T will deepen your voice post-puberty... HOWEVER probably not as much as a normal cis guy, and if your T is currently at normal male levels taking more might not trigger the changes. Just go to a doctor and get your T tested, dude.

>>7829075
... I hate doctors... This has been a long time coming though.

>>7827040
Yeah, but if you work at it you can rebalance your empathy. I used to be overly-empathetic as a kid, on T I had a period were I was unable to cry or emote. Better now

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>>7827449
Thanks for reminding me to read more Wandering Son.

>>7829024
why not?

test thickens the vocal chords, don't see why that would be different in cis men but whatever not my problemo

>>7829430
Too bad he's not a truetrans.

>>7824819
What sort of pants to wear to the gym? Shorts are out, what other options do I have?

>>7829585
Trackpants mafia.

Sweatpants.

I saw that...

>>7829607
sssh don't tell anyone

>>7825374
Is that bone density going to recover?

>>7825761
> Everyone knows anyone with large amts of estrogen you can hardly put on muscle.

That's exaggerated, a lot. Women rarely even try to put on some muscle, and the average guy is so out of shape that even a little bit of muscle goes a long way.

>>7829597
> trackpants mafia

wat

>>7829673
Of course, he'll be assigned to you right after the free dorm room.

>>7829678
idgi

>>7829700
Someone made a post fantasizing about nice things you get when going to college and deleted it.

>>7829726
then reposted it in mtfg a couple minutes later.
i think they might be retarded.

>>7829728
Or just another case of someone mistaking this thread for mtfgen.

... you're right, it's retarded.

>>7829728
>>7829732
I have both threads open and accidentally posted in the wrong one, please do not be mean to me.

I wish I was ftm
I'm a cis boy but I feel tooanly and masculine. I wish I never had testosterone in my system

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>>7829740
Naughty corner. Now.

>>7829740
sorry -.-

Mtfs that are actually looking for mtfgen post here a lot. Ftmgen does not even seem to exist on their radar.

>>7829764
I wish I had balls...

Why don't you become a femboy?

>>7829768
I am a femboy
I've been on estrogen for a year but it's stuff like my bones and skull now.
They're too big.

>>7829770
> feel too manly and masculine
> wish I never had testosterone in my system
> been on estrogen for a year
> bones too big

How are you cis?

>>7829771
don't bully the femboys

>>7829764
if you were happy about being ftm then wouldn't that by definition not make you an ftm? FTMs by definition want to be men, not ftm. maybe eunuch is what you really want to be.

>>7829771
Because I tried living s female nd it made me feel worse.
Im happiest right now being a fem guy

>>7829776
Yeah you're right
A castrati or something.

>>7829772
Wasn't trying to.

>>7829781
That makes sense.

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Got my first binder in the mail.
Am I supposed to be able to breathe in this thing?

Don't you want to be a wife and a mother?

>>7829802
yes, you bought a size too small. it could fuck up your ribs if you wear it

>>7829811
No.

>>7829802
Yes, mone are pretty comfy. If you got a cheap binder with clasps and no stretch, the problem is probably not the size though. These things are meant for cosplay, not daily wear.

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>>7829811
You may call me daddy

>>7829813
Or I could just lose some weight

>>7829823
It's a customized one I got through the clinic. Thing is I've been gaining weight like a boss and now it has backfired. Time to stop being a fatty I guess.

>>7829828
*to elaborate, I gave them my measurements 3 kg ago.

>>7829828
yeah, losing weight might be a good idea then. also gaining weight when youre trans is possibly one of the worst things you can do, especially if youre not on t yet.

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>>7829835
>also gaining weight when youre trans is possibly one of the worst things you can do, especially if youre not on t yet.
I was really underweight tho, and most of the weight I've gained is muscle through lifting. Some fat too, because that's unavoidable when bulking. My BMI right now is 18.1, so still technically underweight I guess.

>>7829818
A lot of girls think they don't want kids, trust me, soon that clock will start ticking ;)

>>7829854
if you used to be underweight and gained muscle mass just go back to the clinic and get a new one. or just buy one off the internet.

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>>7829863
But then I have to talk to people

>>7829871
buy a binder online then, its probably better than a free one at the clinic.

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>>7829876
The one from the clinic is a tailored one that cost over 100 bucks. Health care covered it. If I'm going to buy a similar online then my wallet would get a spanking. The two alternatives is to cut the fattyfatfat or talk to people, and to be honest it's easier to just fast for a while than whine because I made a mistake (because you know, the mistake is all mine here).

>>7829889
3kgs should not make a big difference. Try wearing it for a bit and see if it gets more comfortable.

Or get an underworks binder, they're good and cost about 40 bucks. You'll probably need xs at your bmi.

>>7829900
from what i know, underworks isnt the best since theyre also mostly tailored for cosplayers. i would suggest gc2b, its the one i have and its been working great for the past 2 years. they might be cheaper too but im not sure.

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>>7829900
Alright. I'll look into that.

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>>7829903
What are the most common brands?

>>7829912
i think underworks and gc2b are the most common ones. the only other thing ive seen is someone from tumblr making special snowflake ones with patterns and shit but it looks kind of bad and cringy. but yeah, underworks is what most people use and its fairly reliable but its not the best for longterm use, while gc2b is fairly new but made specifically for trans people. i think underworks might have more options (not sure, never really looked into it), but gc2b has a fair amount of different colors so its easier to pass it off as an undershirt.

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>>7829921
Thanks.
Patterns and stuff? These people are showing off a binder like undies? Wtf?

>>7829933
yep, its awful. looks unpractical as hell too.
http://www.shapeshifters.co/ if you want to make your eyes bleed. they also make sport bras for "all genders"

>>7829903
I have both, but I only wear my underworks binders for the most part. The gc2b ripped pretty quickly, and tends to give me a lumpy chest. The neckline of the gc2b is higher, which means no possibility of cleavage, but it also peeks out of every t-shirt I have, no matter how high the neckline is. The underworks binders are mostly invisible.

Both are comfy enough to work out in.

>>7830072
To add: durability of the gc2b has really been shit. The seams were already coming apart when I got it.

>>7829943
>they make a dress with a binder built in
kill me

>>7828999

it's cool... i was just pointing out that eating disorders aren't a woman's issue... i didn't think you were being an asshole though a lot of people really think that...

>>7829802

you are supposed to be yeah...

>>7828936

unless you plan on keeping that up you're going to just gain weight back eventually... and that's not something you'll want to keep up, bulimia fucks people up (like all eating disorders do) and mostly you'll just fuck your teeth, esophogus, and heart up doing shit like that over time...

watch what you eat and work out until your body's in better shape

>>7830072

i've had both... underworks is made better yeah, but it runs way too big, their xs is fucking giant and i can't even use it...

i don't have the issue with t-shirts though...

>>7830095

eh dresses aren't my thing, but i don't see anything wrong with a transguy who likes them...

>>7829943
I appreciate more colors to make layering less awkward, but those are just tacky. I'm also skeptical of their binding strength and overall durability, as Underworks and gc2b's fabric is boring but thick, but those just look like regular fashion fabric. Plus it looks like the company is ran by fatties, so they're probably used to settling for boobloaf.

Personally, I've found that Underworks works way better than gc2b for me. It's far more uncomfortable and I wish it came in grey, but gc2b leaves me with a boobloaf that expands and sags as the day goes on. I wear the standard crop top binder, though I'm considering trying the cotton lined one due to the itchy discomfort. (For reference: I'm 30in underbust, 34in bust, 17in shoulders. Chest is really shallow due to weight loss.)

>>7830198

gcb2 is better for smaller chests and builds is what i've noticed... both from experience and reviews i've read...

it would be nice if underworks didn't run so big...

>>7828819
never really noticed that for me, then again im not really that hungry most of the time in the first place.
>>7829764
being ftm sucks, would not recommend senpai
>>7829802
i had trouble at first, but i got used to it. if you have a lot of trouble breathing though it might be too small :-( be careful with binding, it can fuck up your ribs if you aren't careful

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who the hell would wear this

>>7830306
Non-binary genderqueer pansexual demi-boy

When did you come out to your family? (Or when do you plan on doing so?)

I'm planning on telling them after I move out and am on hormones for a few months (which should hopefully be later this year), but I'm getting paranoid that my mother is catching on to me. I've been working on transitioning my wardrobe and hair, and she keeps on making comments about it.

She's fairly liberal, but still old and ignorant, and couldn't accept it when I came out as bi in highschool. If anything, I think it's more likely that she suspects that I'm in the closet as a lesbian. (Recently broke up with my male partner, and she's the type to believe that bi people eventually "pick a side".) Thankfully my father is just ancient and senile, and lucky enough to know what day of the week it is, so he'll forget any anger in a few days. Extended family is a lost cause, but whatever.

Even if there's a shot that she is understanding, I really don't see the point of risking three months of 24/7 nagging and concern from her. My family calls me a gender neutral nickname as it is, and I got a referral for a good doc in the city I'm moving to, so I'd get nothing from being open right now.

>>7827040
mtf here but i'm pretty sure T does kinda dull your feelings, getting on E didn't turn me into a crying mess but i do sometimes "feel more" if that makes sense.

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>>7830306
> visible boobloaf
> puckering stitches on side
> can't even smooth out the belly
tragic

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Ok. Binder's off. I almost passed out. My fucking arms are tingling.

>>7830421
yeah, you really need to get a different one. maybe if you take it back to the doctors theyll be able to adjust it so it fits you instead of you having to get a completely new one

>>7830306

people who like ugly shit...

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>>7830428
Fair enough. On another note, how do I stop feeling like a fat piece of shit.
Damn I'm even nauseous now. Blergh.

>>7830440
Not true. I like ugly things. That thing is beyond ugly. That's crackhead mama ugly right there.

>>7830458

well taste is subjective, you must just like different ugly shit than the people who buy that garbage... i like really fucking plain shit personally and in colours like grey, olive, and black...

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>>7830494
When it comes to clothes I agree with you. Plain works good.
The ugly stuff I like is mostly other things, like rusty old car wrecks, abandoned buildings, stuff like that. Imperfections you know. Best example, old people with wrinkly faces and no teeth. I guess ugly is the wrong word, but from a conventional perspective it's seen as ugly.
I used to collect rusty things, like screws and old cans, and people looked at me like I was insane.
What weird shit do you like?

>>7830518

i like old abandoned buildings too, i like exploring shit...

i can't handle rusty shit, makes me anxious even if i just touch it and it doesn't cut me i start thinking about all the harmful effects it can have on my health and a bunch of stupid shit like that... i won't touch something rusty, and if i do i need to wash my hands a lot and i think about how i touched it for 3 days and then i'm over it...

as far as shit i find interesting i like birth birth defects, old circus freaks and whatnot... i find that kinda thing fascinating to look at and would totally curiosity fuck siamese twins... but aside from that i wouldn't say it was sexual at all, and in most cases of siamese twins i'd pass... i like medical videos and surgery videos too, but irl i can't really handle even sitting in a waiting room in a doctor's office... i start thinking about everyone else who's there/has been there and whether or not it's clean enough, what people touched, what i can't touch etc... and i start counting the tiles on those fucking ceilings that are always in them, and then trying to figure out if lights and half tiles count, so i have to count them with and then without and count how many tile fragments there are etc etc etc

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>>7830581
Yeah I forgot about your OCD for a second. Sorry, dude.
How about bones, like skeletons and stuff? I like to collect skulls and random bones I find in the woods. I have a cat skull (wildcat), fox skull, martin skull, plus some random fossils and some dog bones I'm planning to make into knife handles.
I have a human thigh bone and used to own a fetus in a jar but it got stolen by a drunk Polish guy.

Circus freaks. I get you on that one. Once I slept at a train station in Italy, I think it was in Sienna. I met this Romanian girl who had half her face melted off in a fire. It made her beautiful in my eyes but of course she was treated like a freak by people. She was homeless and we spent half the night talking so I got her life story. I wonder if she's still alive. Probably not considering how Italy treats their illegal immigrants. Hope she's okay though. She was a really kind person.

Siamese twins? Fucking no. That would creep me out. But I'm not good with sexual stuff at all. You could probably handle it fine.

>>7830581

+ i also gotta re-count them a few times to be sure, and if the numbers are off and i missed something then i have to start over from the beginning...

i get zero enjoyment out of it though... it all just makes me frustrated and anxious...

i don't like really old people at all, i find them depressing and i don't like it when they touch things... or touching anything they've been around...

i mostly find shit like plants, flowers, etc visually pleasing rather than things that aren't typically considered beautiful...

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>>7830616
What seriously? Why tho? I find old people really comfy unless they are very senile and smell like pee. Old grandmas can spin me around their finger easily.
Is it because you have bad experiences with old people or something?

>>7830614

it's cool... nothing to apologize for, not like you could've guessed i get weird about rust in addition to everything else

my s/o collects bones and skulls actually, i don't but i've gone out with gloves and whatnot and gotten him things... no human bones though, where'd you get that? sucks about the fetus

what happened to her face exactly? sounds interesting... i've only been to rome, i have an uncle who lives outside of florence in a small town, he keeps wanting me to visit but i'm always in various states of getting my shit together or being heavy into drugs...

it's just a curiosity about what they share and how it's felt...

>>7830628

well i did watch my grandparents deteriorate and eventually die after strokes and shit... but i didn't like old people before that

its their skin actually... it looks too fragile, i look at it, think about it ripping on shit they touch + they just make me think about death...

>>7830643

+ i also don't like them offering me food or drinks or anything... again that has to do with their skin and not trusting their eyes... old people tend to be kinda dirty just as a matter of inability to do shit properly or inability to see the actual state of shit around them

if one is decent to talk to that's one thing, but i don't like being in their houses they don't usually open their fucking windows enough either... that shit's like being in a tomb...

>>7830628

what do you like about them?

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>>7830638
I got it from an old ruin. Thought it was a horse bone but got it checked and yeah, dead human. It's really old though, so it's lot like I looted some recent murder victim or something.

She got burned in a housefire when she was small. Her mother told her to leave because of her injuries. They gave stigma to the family so they wanted her gone. Very sad. Romania has a lot of weird superstition, so it's not surprising.

>>7830643
Yeah they are fragile, but then again all people are. I kind of dislike teenagers and other young people who think they are immortal and untouchable. It's an arrogance that accompanies it that I find revolting. The degeneration of life is beatiful in its own way, the way fall always follows summer. We all die in the end, and it's important to acknowledge that. I've met a lot of old people who age with grace and handle the facing death part with amazing serenity. I've learned a lot from them. And then you have the ones that never learn and remain arrogant until they die. We can learn from them too.

>>7830648
Yeah this is true. I don't like accepting food from old people for the same reason. Forgetfulness and inability to notice if something has gone off and all that.

>>7830652
Talking. Stories. Life experience. They give windows into lost worlds in my opinion.
And peacefulness. Old people are chill af. They calm me down.

>>7830705

i don't entirely see what difference that would make since the previous owner can't mind it... that's cool though, my s/o would be jealous

that's pretty fucked up and said... the only romanian i've ever known was this guy i went to hs with who was adopted by american jews when he was a baby...

they're fragile in a way that makes my stomach turn... like i said i see their skin and i think about it ripping and then everything they touch seems more contaminated by them than someone younger...

i have mixed feelings about teenagers, i can find the attitude entertaining even though it can be stupid and i think it's intriguing to hear new fresh ideas that haven't been tainted by someone becoming jaded by life... i do think older people can be interesting to talk to as well, but i don't favour one over the other... i think there's something to be learned from anyone, and i generally find other people interesting regardless

i get what you mean about their being beauty in death in a sense, but i think the deterioration of the body is sorta horrifying... being trapped in a body that's failing or with a failing mind is all i can think of when i see old people, and perhaps in a sense my own chronic illness is what makes it bother me that much more... it's not necessarily death that bothers me it's everything that leads up to it, what a person can live through... and i find old people depressing in the sense of all the things they've lost along the way without dying if that makes sense

yeah even like that rich old guy my s/o and i rented a room from who was in pretty decent shape had a ton kf expired food everywhere and i had to rewash all the dishes when he'd wash them cuz he never cleaned them well enough... i used to just clean the entire kitchen and everything in it while he was at work, and he had this disgusting habit of not cleaning windowsills, walls, or doorknobs, cabinet handles etc... drove me crazy + way too many dogs...

>>7830705

+ i feel like life experience is relevant and interesting regardless of a person's age... but i do get what you mean about their experiences being interesting

i don't find them calming though, i actually don't typically find other people comforting or soothing on any level... it's funny i've had a lot of people tell me i have a calming presence and they find me soothing, but i never feel that way about anyone else... on occasion my s/o can be, but typically nah...

>>7830811

of* my bad...

he was pretty vapid btw, the guy we lived with... you could tell he had a bunch of experiences that he didn't take much away from other than bragging rights and he was empty...

let's do a truscum head count

one here

>>7830898

why not just take a poll if you're that concerned?

>>7830377
>When did you come out to your family? (Or when do you plan on doing so?)
Never. They're the typical fake supportive people.

>>7830095
Of course. Don't you want to cosplay as a loli?

>>7830306
T-that's actually the only pattern I don't completely hate...because it's fish scales...

Ugh, mammalian life. Make me a fish, universe.

>>7830421
Arms tingling is a VERY BAD SIGN. Do not wear it again unless you get it adjusted.

>>7830898
Is this Tumblr "truscum" where you actually have dysphoria, or more of 4chan's typology shit?

Heres a thing inspired by another post.
http://www.strawpoll.me/12431261/r

>>7824819
>be me
>175cm tall and 42kgs
>BMI around 14, puberty utterly destroyed and cockblocked
anorexia saved me from suicide unironically, i am 20 and barely in the first stages of puberty cause i started starving myself at 13. i look the same, except taller. can't start T at this weight so endo prescribed me gnrh agonists to gain weight without triggering any pubertal changes. i think i'm the only person around who's on blockers for a few months at almost 21. but i'll be roiding soon

>>7829633
i really hope so... i mean i haven't exactly been taking the best care of my body in terms of eating disorder recovery (the last time i ate was saturday night and even then it was mostly candy that i ended up throwing up) but in theory i'm still young enough to recover it.

>>7828936
For one, spot training doesn't work. Do core exercises.
Two, if you still have your uterus in, it causes a slight bump in your abdomen. No amount of diet/exercise will get rid of it. Weight loss companies love to feed off of that "stubborn lower belly fat" mentality when it's just the uterus being physically there.

>>7828738
Do voice training.

>>7829811
No, I want to be a husband and possibly a father.
Actually part of my trans realization came from realizing that I wanted to be a girl's boyfriend, not her girlfriend.

>>7831351
>women
>FtM

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This is my disorder

>>7829856
quality b8 m8

>>7829856
L O L
O
L

cisbro checking in

how are you all today, as always, AMA or shout at me whatever

love all of you assholes

>>7829430
Best filename

>>7833065
oh hai

>>7828936
if you want a flat stomach, you'll have better luck with cardio rather than muscle work outs

>>7833065
love u too

>>7833065

>loving an anonymous group of people you've never met

faggot

>>7833227
>>7833366

how are you

tip of the day: homemade aftershave is better in every way. two ounces high proof alcohol, one witch hazel, half ounce glycerin, eighth an ounce of stable oil

>>7833379
your tip of the day is stfu

>>7833491
I was going to ask here about aftershaves earlier but forgot to, thanks for the tip.

>tfw facial hair grows fast but there's not enough of it to be worth growing yet

>>7833491

>your tip of the day is to stfu

thanks for the priceless advice...

>>7833635

-to

added an extra word my bad*

>>7833665

where i put that * is gonna bother the shit out of me for way too fucking long...

>>7833491
cisbro, have you ever waxed your beard? i have, and it is pain olympics the first time, but now it's not anymore

>>7833308
How about hula hoops?

>>7833563
>ask my old man how he looked with a mustache
>"with our genes? it's a third eyebrow"
>doomed never to have mustache ends to twirl thoughtfully

look up batching your own shaving soap if you want, easy high quality lather.
badger brush: $20 (expected lifetime- 5 years)
safety razor: $50 (expected lifetime- sometime after the sun explodes)
all the blades you need for a month: $2.50
custom soap & aftershave: $5.00
shaving like a Lord in his goddamned castle: pretty cool senpai

>>7833635
>>7833665
>>7833691
are you OK

>>7833736
i have not, i shave daily but want to retain the ability to grow a beard. plucking/waxing does damage over time, but maybe it takes years & i'm just a worrywart. have you noticed a difference in the face fuzz? what made you opt to wax?

>>7833811

you really want me to answer that?

>>7833929

it's what i'm here for senpai, big brother reporting

>>7834000

i'm 30, and i already have an older brother (got a younger one too, they're 37 and 26)... don't need some random guy on the internet to pretend fill the role... just saying

but to answer your question nah i'm not ok today... my health issues are acting up and fucking with me + i only have alcohol and i'm pretty sure drinking would be a bad idea so i'm sober too...

>>7834103

cool. may i be granted your most honorable & esteemed permission to field advice & shoot the shit with other people who frequent this thread?

what kind of alcohol & health problems? would a single shot take the edge off, relax the muscles?

>>7833811
I want a safety razor but I'm not comfortable keeping razor blades around while I live at home due to my mum's mental issues. Been thinking about picking up some sort of lockbox for needles + T once I learn to do my shots myself that I could toss them in though.

Where do you guys keep your needles/prescription?

>>7834159

why are you asking for my permission to post here or talk to other people? i don't control you, this thread, or them...

whiskey and beer, and a lot of health issues... alcohol can have the exact opposite effect on my muscles and make things worse that's why i haven't drank anything yet... if i thought it would help or was sure it'd be neutral at least i would've already been drunk... been thinking about drinking since i woke up, and i was drunk when i went to sleep so yeah...

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>>7834185
Doesn't help you much, but I just keep mine in my bedroom windowsill behind the curtain.

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cis ace female passing through. I just want you guys to know you shouldn't feel like you have to succumb to eating disorders. Please don't starve yourselves or over eat to obtain a certain look. You should focus on your health because that's what's important to your life in the long run, and eating disorders make your mental health deteriorate. I felt very bad reading through this thread, and I just want you all to be healthy and happy.

>>7834185

you don't have knives in the kitchen she could use if she wanted?

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>>7834259
luv u

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Cookie attacking me

https://youtu.be/VzsgJ8BZwL8

>>7834340
Y-you too anon. Stay strong!

>>7829903
>underworks isnt the best since theyre also mostly tailored for cosplayers
>tailored for cosplayers
Bullshit. They are/were for gynecomastia and now even have a trans male centered portal.

Underworks tritop masterrace

>>7834488
>22s
SO CUTE

>>7834593
What

>>7834623
your ferret
is
adorable

>>7834632
Thanks. I uploaded more

>>7834546
ah sorry, my bad. as i said, i dont actually know that much about underworks, i just remember reading somewhere its not actually made for trans guys. im glad theyre open for trans people using their product though.

>>7831419
Holy shit skellyboy. You got any pics?

>>7831558
That is one furry benis, sir

>>7834488

cute video... makes me wish i knew someone with a ferret so i could play with it for a bit without needing to take care of it...

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>>7835404
Pic related is my left hand and wrist, which I find uncanny because i can see all of its tendons and tissues in real life. I also have considerable eyebags due to skeleton face

>>7835492
(Fuck forgot to mention, i'm not the same OP who posted the thing you replied to, I'm another skelly but i thought i could provide real life pics. I'm slightly taller than the other poster and a couple kgs more, so proportions are roughly the same.)

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>>7831318
Why is arm tingling a bad sign?

>>7835492
You are one skinny cat, my man

>>7835515
You need a new desk

>>7835518
I need a new life. My desk is a pile of hoarded trash. I made it myself a while ago with some nice wood, but I ended up ruining it anyway. Coffee stains and I stab it. But mostly trash hoarding.

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>>7835524
How do you plan on achieving new life?

>>7835528
Driving a shotgun up my mouth, firing, and hoping to reincarnate, but not in a third world shithole. No, jokes aside, I started HRT a few months ago and I'm fixing my other issues too (hopefully), especially the speeding habit. Which is probably what helped making me so skinny, since I do not starve myself. And then going back to school, if I manage. But that's embarrassing since where I live you can't change your legal name before 2 years of HRT and I'd be going to school with deep manvoice and female name (and fucking hell, the voice is the only thing that evidently changed)

>>7835410
https://youtu.be/vbfxYnFT8bE

I never thought I wanted phallo, but after reading more about it I think it's in my future. Anyone else want it?

>>7835545
As much as I'd like having a dick, I do not find the idea of going around with massive skin graft scars appealing. It's more revealing than not having a dick, in everyday life. Also invasive surgeries are something I can't think of undergoing. Recovery and all the meat stitching.

>>7835534
>speeding habit
dude?

>>7835544
:D

>>7835562

meth...

>>7835516

your arms tingling can be indicative of circulation issues... it means your binder is too tight, unless your arms just usually do that on their own (mine do) in which case you've got other issues...

>>7835562
Yeah, but it's not meth as >>7835569 said, it's amphetamines. Though the reason for that is, I started off with a legal script for ADHD meds, but over here once you get a prescription you can walk in the pharmacy and buy the medicine which comes in a standard pre packed number of tablets, and there isn't a limited number of times you can buy said medicine. So I let that carry a bit too far and finding out I could abuse it, one thing followed another. Used to sleep 1-2 hours each day, at best. Which probably contributed to having sunken eyebags as deep as a quarry, sleep deprivation is shit

>>7835578

"speed" typically refers to meth not prescription amphetamines... just saying...

so, are you on adderall then?

>>7835580

+ also where are you at? is that all prescriptions or just that one?

>>7835580
I am not familiar with drug terminology, but the effect is pretty much the same when taken in high doses. I started with that in normal doses but I took a liking to it, getting double or more the recommended dosage, sometimes took it a bit too far but without it, I felt like a zombie. Went without sleep for around 3 days, after which shit started getting weird and I had this alarm bell ringing in my head that maybe I was exaggerating, but getting used to abusing a chemical and then quitting is hard as fuck.

>>7835586
It's most prescriptions that work that way, I'm in southern Europe, Italy, and even when the prescription is numbered the pharmacists will give it to you anyway if you spit out some shit like "I forgot to have it refilled.."

>>7835594
I live in Southern Italy too and since people know me they give me prescription drugs without the prescription based on trust alone. And I take shitloads of that stuff because of ADHD and ASPD.

I also get free needles and syringes for my injections, even though they don't know what they're for.

>>7835600
Same, I know the pharmacist and I've gotten any kind of shit without prescription. Or just by bringing the box and saying "I'd need this but eh... the doc forgot to write a prescription". Free needles and also free cannula needles which I used to pierce my face, but no questions asked. I live in Tuscany btw, but you terroni are brothers in pharmacological anarchy

>>7835591

i know what it does and that the effects are similar... it's not something i would take (i'm not a fan of uppers, i'll take coke if i've already taken heroin but only if it's there i don't seek it out), but i know plenty of people who have and who abuse it...

3 days without sleep sucks, i don't take uppers but i sleep like shit (few hours a night, wake up a lot, have days where i can't sleep etc) and that period between like 3- 7 am can get so fucking boring...

and yeah i know that... just cleaned up from heroin (for now), and it was a nightmare... i keep thinking about how bad i want it just fucking constantly, and the withdrawal is such a bitch... i'm substituting with alcohol and weed...

>>7835594

what about shit like pain killers and xanax?

my uncle's in italy... outside of florence and i've got family in naples (it's where the italian side of my family is from), but i've only been to rome

>>7835619
3 days without sleep you start to feel things that aren't there, I remember trying to go to bed and feeling like the bed itself was on sea waves while something pulled up my legs, heart racing like a motherfucker and me thinking I was heaving a heart attack, and wanting to play Monster Hunter while having a stroke. The scarier thing was the need to do all things at the same time, and the lack of sleep felt like it increased the "high". So i started disassembling furniture at 5am to move it from one room to another. Then of course increased sweating and feeling like each step I took I was not walking but hovering in the air at horrific speed. Weird shit. But yeah you can get xanax and painkillers pretty easily, especially if you know the pharmacist, I have benzos and the last time I got a prescription was years ago. Also I live outisde of Florence too, in the suburban provinces, didn't know you were part Italian.

How do I get a transguy bf? Preferably a taller and older one but height doesn't matter too much.

t. 20 yo 5'11 decently passing mtf <3

>>7835641
Be my gf
I'm 5'10 and 21 (but I look 16)

>>7835635

3 days without sleep and i start getting weird too, but i start feeling like i'm drunk and then the idea of going to sleep starts to make me anxious (i get really bad sleep paralysis and when my sleep is fucked up that tends to mean it's gonna happen and i hate that shit)

i've never had that going while doing anything other than smoking weed and drinking... or just being sober... i had an issue with oxys at one point cuz i was just taking them to sleep

i imagine uppers + that make you feel fucking batshit though... my s/o's aunt used to take add meds and do shit like that rearranging furniture and whatnot... when i've taken coke without heroin it's gotten me fucked up like that and makes my ocd worse can't imagine something that lasts for hours

everyone i know who uses it tells me i should never take adderall so i never have... they all get crazy serious when they say it and tell me if i ever do i'm on my own cuz they don't wanna deal with me

you're making italy sound pretty fucking amazing (i liked it when i was there, but i was only there a couple weeks) maybe i should take my uncle up on his move there offer... wonder how moving there with a pet would go (he did it with his cat years ago, but i have birds so i know that can be different)

yeah... my mom's family is from naples on my grandmother's side and puerto rico on my grandpa's and my dad's father was from cuba and his mother was from puerto rico

i hate terfs

>>7835669

i don't hate them... i just think they have stupid opinions... but a lot of ugly chicks are bitter with stupid opinions so it's kind of a given...

norra norrland?

>>7835878
is that a tolkien dwarf?

>>7835602
>I know the pharmacist and I've gotten any kind of shit without prescription. Or just by bringing the box and saying "I'd need this but eh... the doc forgot to write a prescription". Free needles and also free cannula needles which I used to pierce my face, but no questions asked.
Exact same. I just go in there and they give me my shit without asking.

>you terroni are brothers in pharmacological anarchy
Truer words were never spoken. And I have some relatives in Tuscany.

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>>7824819
>pre-t, closeted, just recently turned 18 so it's not like I can go full independent yet
>older brother comes home because of mom's birthday
>younger brother goes bonkers over him
>"haha it's because he's his only brother :)"
>sad and awfully dysphoric ever since this happened
>it's been 3 days

How will I ever cope, /ftmg/?

>>7835896
You'll be fine, could be worse. You could've had to move back with your parents because your job pays shit and start T without them knowing, for example.

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>>7835896
You're our brother, m8

>>7835594
Didn't your country die in an earthquake?

>>7834298
Yeah, but in the past she's only ever talked about using a box cutter. I'd just rather not have something like a pack of super-sharp blades lying around just in case.

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How long should I wait before starting T? I'm 21 and realized I'm trans about 10 months ago. I don't want to rush it but I'm also not getting any younger.

>>7835896
Well once you start T you can be his best brother.

>>7836075
Go to a psychologist specialized in gender issues and see how it works out. Testosterone is very powerful compared to estrogen so you'll most likely get good/acceptable results even if you start HRT at 25-30. Don't rush it and see what is good for you.

>>7829811
I want to be a child-free husband or boyfriend.
I'm horribly afraid of having sex even while on T because of the slim risk of pregnancy tbqh

>>7836092
Thank you anon, I'll look into that

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Potentially a stupid question but I'm sorta seeing someone that's ftm and its a first so I have no clue what I'm doing.

When it comes to sex should I just go about it like I normally would with a womans body or is there like any specific way that most ftm want to be treated in bed?

It's possible I'm way overthinking shit but I want them to be happy and enjoy it

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>>7835649
Ah shit, i got sleep paralysis only once and I saw things that weren't there, crapped myself substantially. Do you get hallucinations too?
Adderall\ADD meds are addictive, it's basically legalized drugs, and the fact it's so easy to get makes it appealing. But yeah, don't try it, because it's highly addictive. It gives that vibe of "I can do anything, I am unstoppable and invincible, I know all things in the universe" so you can fuck up pretty badly with overestimation. Also I can say that Italy isn't that bad, economy isn't the best and we have some issues with corruption and tax evasion, but we're decent. It's chill, people are friendly enough, good food and beautiful towns, if you want to give it a try for longer than a couple of weeks you should accept your uncle's offer. Especially in the outskirts of Florence, if you like visiting the countryside, walking, sightseeing. And I mean, pets are common as fuck, I doubt you'd have any issues. I've never heard of people restricting house rental to people with animals or shit like that.
>>7835895
Ah what part of Tuscany? Firenze master race?

>>7836143
just ask them, ftms have different relationships to their bodies but it's best to assume that dysphoria will be a big factor in what they're comfortable with sexually

they could be up for penis in vagina or only into strapping on and buttfucking you, it all depends on the individual

>>7836009
Yeah writing from my computer plugged on rubble. I don't even have a house anymore, but I salvaged my router, so it's all good.
Shit aside, it's just a few towns in southern-central Italy that got rekt by the earthquake. https://it.wikipedia.org/wiki/Terremoto_del_Centro_Italia_del_2016

>>7836143
Nobody is the same, just ask your qt bf how he wants things done.
Personally, when I realized I was trans and came out to my partner, he asked me that almost inmediatly (along with other questions he had, obviously) and it took like 5 minutes to sort out. Don't get nervous and just do it.

>>7830306
>who the hell would wear this
Trans-Aquaman?

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>>7830306
trans Abe Sapien

>>7836145

i've gotten it with and without hallucinations... i've had it ever since i was a kid on/off, like i can't remember it ever not being a thing... it's definitely shitty, i've learned ways to wake myself up and its become easier to deal with but it's still pretty bad and sometimes it can take a while... the hallucination bit doesn't really get to me cuz that's whatever i know what's going on, it's the not being able to speak, move, or wake up part that i fucking hate... and being so aware while it's going on makes it terrible

i know they're addictive, but i've taken shit that's addictive without it being an issue (i've only ever dealt with physical addiction with heroin and pcp) i just don't think i'd like the high, like i said uppers can fuck with my ocd bad and something like adderall definitely would (that's why everyone i know thinks i'd hate it and tells me they wouldn't want to be around me if i tried it... they wouldn't wanna deal with the neurotic ocd shit) cuz even coke unless i'm taking it with other shit (heroin, xanax, alcohol, muscle relaxers, or all of the above at once) can get to me even if it's just like coke + weed... except coke only lasts about 30 mins so it's not a huge deal if the high is bad...

it's more getting everything together to bring pets from here to there that i'd gotta look into and finding an airline that'll let me keep them in the cabin cuz i'd never put a bird in with cargo...

but yeah idk... i might take him up on his offer, depends on how some shit here goes anyway... i like rural areas, and i didn't get to see them except in passing on a train when i was in italy (took a train from paris to fuck if i remember, switzerland and then from switzerland to rome... then went back to london after a couple of weeks which is where i was before paris... went to liverpool too to see my s/o's uncle)

i've heard about some of the issues with the government through my uncle, but eh america's not great with that

>>7836145
>Ah what part of Tuscany? Firenze master race?
Prato.

First time talking to another Italian ftm, bar the trender I met when I was 16.

>>7836143

see what he's into and see what he's ok with... not everyone is gonna be cool with the same shit and some people have more issues when it comes to sex than others

if you're concerned talk to him, can't ask someone else what he's gonna like in bed and communication is part of sex and relationships

>>7835641
>taller
I like a lady with a sense of humor

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We're past 250 on this thread, can we get a masc header image for the next one? Even a creepy bearded hobo?

I am not even all that masc, but it seems like when we use androgynous images, landscapes, or weeaboo/vidya stuff we get more confused transgirl cross posters.

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Sometimes I wish I was born a floofy thing so I could get hugs all the time

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>>7836461
Eh

>>7836484

you don't need to be one to get hugs all the time though...

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>>7836511
How to into hugs, senpai

>>7836461
Some dumbass keeps making the weirdest OPs. One time it was ">tfw no mtf gf" and we had many confused MTFs thinking it was their general.

>>7836516

idk, a lot of people i know just kinda hug me whenever i see them... even one of my h dealers would hug me every time i saw him... that's just shit people do isn't it?

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>>7836461
>demands masc header
>anime posting

>>7836321
Ah really? I'll be moving to Prato soon, found a bigger house for the same price as Florence (they're expensive as shit here), have you been there yourself?
Also same, didn't think I'd find a fellow Italian here, but I guess it was probably just the two of us all along. You met a trender here? Never met one myself, thought it was a mostly american\canadian fauna but apparently we're not immune either

>tfw have a cold, and feel like poop
What do girls?

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>>7836527
Nobody ever hugs me

>>7836536
Oh fug, this is /ftmg/, crap.

>>7836536
That seems to be brain damage, not a cold. How unfortunate.

>>7836311
I've never been on anything besides amphetamines so I can't relate to other experiences, but I'm thinking all of the stimulant category makes anxiety related issues worse, including OCD, so it makes sense. ADD meds addiction is mostly because without them, you plunge back in a zombie mental state where you can't do shit and can't put two thoughts together, so you're "forced" to go back to it. It's not physical in the strict sense of the term, at least not that i feel consciously, but you get my meaning.
I'm pretty sure you'd find an airline that allows that. As far as making a living, being a native english speaker would probably earn you something. Not many people here know english beyond "cat is on table"

>>7836539

come over i'll give you a hug...

i'm actually surprised idk... i've had so many friends who have done shit like hug me, hold hands, cuddle with me etc ... even people i've just met have given me a hug... figured that's just how people are... pretty much everyone i know hugs me, and a lot of my friends and shit tell me they love me and shit too

>>7836556

oh... i've done a fair amount of shit personally, but yeah uppers def fuck with that kinda shit...

i get what you mean... the mental side of addiction can be a bitch, though physical shit is fucking intense... i've never done uppers to that point though, even like coke the most i ever bothered with was like a few times a day for a week years ago... and even like this past year it was only a few times... seems like people who prefer downers never care for uppers like that and vice versa... but yeah getting back to your usual mental state after anything can be a bitch

i'm idk... going on 3 weeks off h (i think?) i'm shit at keeping track of time, feels like an eternity and i'm still adjusting to just having weed and alcohol

yeah i could see that... my uncle's gotten jobs translating and teaching english there cuz he's from brooklyn he just kinda ended up in italy after a vacation about 15 years ago he decided he didn't feel like coming back from...

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>>7836461
My contender

>>7836671

+ it was my great grandparents who were from italy (with the rest of my family it was my grandparents who immigrated)

my great grandmother used to try to teach me italian as a kid, but i didn't have the attention span for it and most of what i remember is her sitting in a chair when she'd visit chainsmoking and bitching about her in laws

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>>7836461
this one

>>7836698

i fucking love listening to charles manson talk... he's funny as hell

>>7836671
I can't imagine the physical withdrawal effects, but I've heard it from a friend too. She's a literal crackhead though, and once told me it felt like she was "about to die" when off drugs for a while. Not specifying what that implied but I can imagine it must be shit.
I would be even more of a zombie on downers, because I am naturally a sluggish lethargic bag of shit without stimulants. Which is what drove me to them in the first place, and at this point it's either keeping up the habit at the expense of sanity in the long run or going back to being a lifeless lump. I'm leaning towards the first.
You could probably get a job like that too, don't know if you'd be into teaching, but definitely translating. And if you're sociable, a lot of things here happen by connection with the right people. So that's something too. Make friends, they'll fix you something.

>>7836726
Italian is pretty easy to learn as far as pronunciation goes, the grammar is crap and pretty much arbitrary, but as I see it languages are to communicate so as long as people understand what you mean and vice versa, it's enough. And italian is easy to make out after a short time hearing it, cause the sounds are simple and well announced. Have you ever tried reading\listening it?

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>>7836461
I nominate Arnulf

>>7836461
masc like buck angel?

>>7835481

Just wonder around the countryside and find a Stoat to wrestle.

>>7836533
>have you been there yourself?
Yeah, several times. My male cousins are basically my brothers, don't know how they'd take me being an ftm though.

The trender I met got married a few years down the line (to a man) and identifies as a straight woman now. Never even took T. And speaking of which, I DIY because it's a fucking nightmare here, therapy and lawyers and all that crap. I'm curious about how you're dealing with it.

>>7836764

yeah i get that actually... the last time i went through withdrawal getting off heroin... i felt like i was gonna die too the first couple days... i was fucking drinking a ton of nyquil and taking a bunch of benadryl trying to sleep through it... hurt like a bitch, i was constantly in the shower fucking sweating like hell, could barely breathe, my chest was killing me, rolling around in bed and it was impossible to be comfortable, my stomach was a mess... my own fault... it's shit when you wean down, but it's easier... that time i went from a few bags to fucking nothing and yeah... don't recommend it

heroin didn't immediately make me sluggish, i'd do a few bags and just kinda wander around for hours, then come home do more and nod off...

my health issues can make it hard for me to do shit, but that actually helped a lot... had points where i almost felt human again (as in the way i did before i got sick... went from being really active like working out, then just going out on like 10+ mile hikes and doing shit to having points where getting out of bed to use the bathroom takes everything i've got)... still push myself though, i can't deal with not doing anything ... but without h that shit's hard again so i get not wanting to go back...

when drugs help you function it's a bitch letting them go even in spite of the risks and the downsides...

i'm pretty good at making connections with people, it's literally all that's gotten me through life honestly... but yeah he's told me the same shit about it out there too

>>7836778

i actually have a bunch of old shit to learn italian with from years ago, cuz i was gonna go there when i was 18 to stay for a while... ended up dating my s/o so i didn't... i only know some spanish and some french (more french than spanish and i'm better at reading it than anything)... the italian i do know isn't anything that'd be good for polite conversation, just profanity

i'm sure i could pick it up though, especially being around it... i'm alright with languages it's effort that i've got a problem with, but when you've got no choice it's different

>>7836863

sounds like a good time...

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>>7836493
Like that moustache, old man, and the pupper.

>>7836529
Yes, it is meant to be funny.
Are you not entertained?

>>7836544
This.

>>7836698
KEK
Je suis Charlie... sends the wrong msg

>>7836745
Yes.

>>7836780
Oooh... guvinatohr...

>>7836898

+ my s/o would go with now... but back when we had just started dating he had a bunch of shit with his mom and we were basically back and forth on/off raising his siblings cuz his dad died when he was 16 and his mom is a piece of shit narcissist who was always just going on dates with random guys leaving them with us instead of being a mom...

i used to sit around helping them with their homework, and we had to do shit like wake them up for school and cook for them and shit...

and so i did that to be there for them and then just... a bunch of shit happened... and i've just been in a lot of shit situations bouncing around between brooklyn and the poconos being on/off drugs and shit... trying to get some shit together now actually gonna see how that goes... and if that doesn't work out i might just re-visit that offer so we can try to get out of the cycle we've got going on

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>>7836843
I love Buck.
He is a great image header.

>>7836873
I have health issues too, mostly a fucked up metabolism and malabsorption issues, which means I'll be lacking nutrients no matter what I eat. And that plus the amphetamines, I ended up in anorexia territory. I worked out too, but I can't build muscle efficiently besides some slim shit. Which is probably due to my body structure too, cause I'm ectomorph. Mostly though my issues with functioning regarded studying and being there mentally, I could barely finish high school and dropped out twice anyway. The symptoms you described for physical addiction sound like hell, but it's good that you have the strength to resist it so far. I haven't had it yet.
If you're sociable then that's already a bonus point to live the Italian life. Know people, land a state job through a network of people who shoehorn you in, and enjoy life scratching your balls at home while your co-worker checks you in with the badge and pretends you're there. Everyone's ambition here. If you're giving a try to italian get some elementary school grammar book or some shit like that. Also profanities, I hope you're talking the typical "bestemmie" that are so dear to us

>>7836864
Ah shit, so they don't know about you being ftm? That's though. I thought that Messina had a WPATH clinic with less shit compared to the other cities with the ONIG protocols (and genova follows the WPATH standard too). How did you get to self med? Getting the T and all that? I lucked out being borderline anorexic because the psychiatrists sped up procedures to start therapy, but I'm bound to their therapy sessions or else I risk being revoked roid privilege. Which is why I was thinking of getting a self-medding alternative. Did you get them off the internet or from gym rats?

>>7836993
Nobody knows actually, and I had to get back home because no job, so this is gonna be a fun ride. Voice is already dropping three weeks in.

Got the T (cypionate) from gym rats off the Internet. I've been in therapy for other reasons (ASPD, ADHD, anorexia and reverse anorexia when I started working out) for almost a decade but I fucked off back in October because I had enough and needed to money for the T. Now I just go sporadically to a psychiatrist, the one who prescribed me the horse tranquilizer.

>>7837059
Gym rats off the internet on a website or off forums? Cause I haven't found shit that wasn't a US source. And I don't want to be fucked by customs. Also you're the horse tranquilizer anon.. Shit, makes sense, our doctors don't exactly give many fucks.
My family knows about me and all, but I fucking hate being bound with a leash to the judgement of psychiatrists. I'd much rather DIY at this point, to have a safe alternative in case they decide I'm not sane enough to keep getting shit.

>>7837072
Some roid board, source is safe an EU based. Zero issues with customs, completely anonymous, but you need bitcoins and be smart about it so they don't track it back to you.

Never gave a flying fuck about my family but I'm now forced to live with them at least for a while, and that's the main issue along with all the lawyer shit I'd have to go through for surgeries and name change. Don't really need top surgery because AAA cup that looks like gyno but still.

any realistic soft packers under $50 or so? by realistic i mean not bright pink. my bottom dysphoria has been getting worse and i think packing might help.

>>7836976

my digestive system is fucked too, i alternate between being able to eat and constant pain and being stuck on liquids and still in pain from them... aside from that i actually gave my doctor a 4 page (front and back) list of symptoms i experience frequently (i rotate through them, but every day there's an issue) like today my hands feel like pins and needles, my vision hasn't been great, my neck and back are stiff and hurt like fuck, i keep feeling deaf and like my head is stuffed with cotton, dizzy too + jaw pain and general achiness everywhere all that fun shit

i was able to build muscle, i can't anymore... not only am i unable to really work out (it fucks me hard when i do) but it just doesn't really happen... my weight stays the same no matter what i eat and i eat a lot to keep it normal... i drop weight really fucking easy

i don't really have a choice but to resist it, i left brooklyn and came back to the poconos cuz this is where i go to clean up pretty much... i couldn't keep going the way i was with it, and things were getting bad so i just kinda ran away from all of it with my s/o so we could clean up

not a bad ambition

yeah i'll check that out, i've got so much free time anyway may as well fill it with something other than trying to re-learn guitar left handed and playing it right handed... that's my life right now pretty much taking care of our birds and then chilling with 2 guitars switching back and forth between them

and i am yeah... my great grandmother thought teaching us how to say shit like "fuck you" in italian was cute + my mother grew up with her doing the same so whenever my mother gets hurt or some shit she starts yelling that kinda shit in italian

>>7837125
Yeah I thought as much, can't use paypal to buy controlled substances off the black market. Can you drop source if I leave a throwaway email or some shit like that?
The positive side of going through the "legit" route is that they take care of the bureaucracy and surgeries, even though I was thinking getting a vacation in Thailand and get all surgeries done for cheaper and whenever the fuck I wish plus Bangkok sightseeing and molesting ladyboys (maybe). There's clinics there that specialize in tranny surgeries, and I'd just need a hysto because my tits are just conceptual, like my balls. I'm as flat as an ironing board. For name change couldn't you make up some bullshit excuse in the motivation and go for a unisex name? That's what I'm trying to do right now. Otherwise you need to wait around 2 years of HRT before name change and all that.

>>7837151
Wow, they restrict name changes in Italy? That seems so bizarre. I am Canadian, living in the US now. Back home you could rename yourself whatever, just not a job title, rank, or slur... no "Sargent Doctor Nigger-Jew" need apply.

Changed state side too, after marriage, via court order... just tell a judge your new name and reasons for the change. "[Spouse] and I git married, didn't like each others last names... chose a new last name together," bam. Done.

>>7837261
Yeah you have to send a letter to the province government motivating why you'd like to change your name. If you're a tranny then you get a name change after 2 years of HRT (or 1, don't remember exactly). But in other circumstances, if they don't think your motivation is good enough, you can't change it. It's shit.

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>>7837284
Thats pretty bullshit.

Are the gender markers similar?

I had to finish SRS in Quebec, go back to Alberta, flash my junk to my doc and shrink, then have them both draft, "yup, he's done" letters to fix my F to an M on my documents.

>>7837345
At least here you don't need SRS to change legal gender, so there's that. But that's because of a sentence in 2015, before that you needed at least orchi\hysto, not necessarily genital reconstruction anyway. Do you need that over there too or is removal enough?

>>7837151
We might as well fuck off to another country for surgeries and name change m8.

>Can you drop source if I leave a throwaway email or some shit like that?
Why not.

>>7837431
Honestly, save around 5-7k and join me in my trip to Thailand. A week there would probably solve more than a year here. I'm seriously considering it.
Also [email protected] send shit over here, if anything i'll write my actual email from there

The third doughnut was a mistake.

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My mom says she is struggling thinking when i was a kid i would demand to wear dresses, get my hair braided, loved little mermaid, etc. I remember knowing as a kid i wasn't supposed to be a girl despite my girly demands.

There's no doubt i am trans but how does this get explained? I wasn't boyish as a little kid, i become boyish around 13-14.

>>7837723

You just liked that shit, who cares why?

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>>7837738
She says she's been watching shows about how there's transkids who already know they're trans, and why that isnt my case. It doesnt matter anymore but it really bothers her. I told her there are still things about transgender stuff i cant explain or understand either, it just is what it is

>>7837723
That sort of thing isn't inherently gendered. Plus dysphoria doesn't really set in until your sex characteristics start developing.

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>>7837428
Needed full reconstruction, meta or phallo... clitoral release might suffice? This is specific to the province, though, not federally decided.

>>7837770
Tell her not all trans people go through the same. You're not a transkid.

Do you like guys or both sexes, by the way?

>>7837547

i haven't had a doughnut in years... they're not particularly good though

>>7837723

my mom's best friend has a son, he's idk... i guess probably in his early 20's now (i grew up with his sister... christ did she get hot out of fucking nowhere, wish i stayed in touch over the years... ) anyway when he was a kid he used to dress up like a chick and play with barbies and was obsessed with shit like the little mermaid... and now he's definitely cis and not real masculine but he's not a drag queen or some shit either (just gay)... some little boys are just like that + kids pick and choose from what they're exposed to, i'm sure your parents mostly exposed you to girl shit to an extent and then your peers were girls too... so you know what do you expect? when you were old enough to start forming your own individual identity that's not how it went right? that's what counts

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>>7837723
>>7837770

Sounds like you enjoyed the attention those things got from your mum.

Braiding hair takes time. Those dresses probably required assistance to put on. Since your mother remembers those times fondly she was probably extra affectionate with you during them. Being called positive terms in a happy tone makes things enjoyable to a small child.

Also, the Little Mermaid is an awesome film. Good music, solid animation, action, adventure. The theme of charting your own path despite parents' restrictions is pretty universal, even if she WAS chasing a boy.

>>7837770

tell your mom everything she sees on tv isn't always a reflection of reality for everyone... and don't let it make you feel insecure

if it makes you feel any better my older bro's friend had a gf who i used to let put make up on me, fix my hair, and dress me up when i was like 10 cuz i thought she was cute...

>>7837723
When I was a kid, I wanted to wear purple glittery princess shit, but I also really REALLY wanted to be an anthromorphic catperson. I turned out to be neither a woman, nor a furry. Kids are weird, but that's the point of being a kid.

https://discord.gg/jDPEC7m

join my discord, nerds.

>>7824819
hey cis dude here, a few questions.

I've been chatting with a ftm dude on okcupid. He seems really great, we've have similar interests, its all looking good.

Now, I've had sex with women and I've had sex with men, but I fear that I see this dude as a woman. They're pre-op, preT as well. I definately have a thing for androgynous women, tomboys with short hair are kind of my go to jerk off material. But yeah, I'm afraid that maybe this all means I should steer clear of the situation, if I don't really see them as a man, sexually speaking.

If I were to engage in sexual acts with him, are there any do's and don'ts? Like should I avoid fondling his breasts. Should I avoid touching their clit? Should I assume they enjoy vaginal sex, or should I assume anal?

Obviously, these are things I'd have to ask them, if and when they became relevant. But I figured I'd get some advice on the topic now.


Side note: they're 19 and I'm 28. Which freaks me out a bit. Where do I even take a 19 year old on a date? Am I fucked up?

>>7837846

the disney one butchered the whole story though (not that it's a great story it's just alright anyway) but still... i remember being a kid and thinking the cartoon i had that was more like the real story was better than the disney one... where she had a different name and died at the end turning into seafoam cuz she wouldn't kill the prince with a dagger her sisters got by selling their hair to the witch... it left out some bits like it being excruciating for her to walk and cut out the actual end of the story from what i remember... haven't seen it since i was like 5 or 6, but idk i remember kid me thinking that shit was great


>>7837770

honestly this >>7837870

i used to take my uncles ab roller and run around the house pretending to be a car when i was really little... definitely not a car now... or cobra commander or batman or a professional thief (that was my first career goal as a kid, i used to practice picking locks and pick pocketing my mom)

kids do weird dumb shit cuz they're kids

Do cis girls accessorize with FTMs or is it only gays?

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This is is guys, this is THE definitive FtM. No can ever be more, or less FtM than this fellow right here. They're practically FtFtM even. How are we supposed to compete?

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>>7837978
Disney does a hack job on all their source material, just look at the Hunchback of Notre Dame. Doesn't mean it isnt a well executed film. Story structure is solid, themes are well defined, I can't bring myself to hate on it.

>>7837525
Done.

>>7838011
Accessorize?

>>7838063
>Accessorize?
look at my gay friend and how progressive I am!

>>7838047
man that's unfortunate

>>7838047
Holy shit genes.

>>7838063
I replied to you, I think it sent, cause guerrillamail doesn't show sent emails, but i think i didn't fuck up

>>7838047

do you really wanna win that competition?

anyway they look young... granted that doesn't mean anything necessarily but yeah...

>>7838050

the only thing i know about the hunchback of notre dame is that it's about a deformed guy in a bell tower... i've never seen the disney movie and i know fuckall about the source material

i'm not a fan of disney movies personally... too much music and they don't really interest me... i don't hate them, i just don't think they're great either, and as a kid i preferred other shit... like xmen, spiderman, gi joe etc

i know a lot of adults and kids love them, but idk... not my thing

>>7838047
That slipper face

>>7837962
You sound fucked up from the surface but there might be more going on between you two than we can see.
Anyway, obviously yeah ask him what he's okay with and not. In *general*, most transdudes don't want their chest or junk touched, but it really depends on the person and the situation.
Get yourself into thinking of him as a man, though. Ignore what you like about tomboys or androgynous women because that's not what you're dealing with here. Think of him as a pretty boy, maybe.

>>7838121
>You sound fucked up from the surface

thank you for the frank assessment. I might just drop this match, I think the age thing is freaking me out. Also, I just read a few of their questions and I'm getting the impression they're a virgin, (which is certainly nothing to be ashamed of, I was also a virgin at 19) but I'm feeling that we just might be in different places emotionally and have different levels of experience that would make this inappropriate.

>>7838154

i have an "old enough to drink or its weird" rule personally... i'm 30

>>7838165
Yeah, thats kind of my rule too. I guess he's just really cute and also in D&D which has me second guessing everything.

>>7838182

idk man... i'm not the one you were talking to initially, but personally i'd feel off getting with a virgin who couldn't drink... or even chilling with someone that young irl... i get second guessing shit considering, but that's probably more of a hassle then it's worth honestly

i'm not into d&d personally, but isn't that better shitfaced?

>>7838195
nah, I mean you can drink when playing table top rpgs, but not shitfaced. It falls apart if everyone is drunk out of their minds. Some of the people in my group will have a beer or two. We'll pass some weed around, but it's very casual, low levels of intoxication. We aren't going to shotgun beers or rip giant bongs.

>>7838195
Anyways, thanks to you all for entertaining a confused cis guy's questions. I think I just needed to hear some one reinforce my own apprehension about all of this.

>>7838109
Got through, just replied.

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>>7838195
>mfw always went out with younger girls who did everything for me

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>when you remember americans can't drink booze until they're 21

Total meme of a country

>>7838241
How?

>>7838202

i guess idk what hanging out with other people and getting low level intoxicated is like... i could see how that kinda thing could fall apart though... i guess... idk i can function while on a lot of shit (i've done shit like taken xanax, a few bags of heroin, some oxys, smoked a bunch of weed, had some coke gone to a bar to play pool for a bit took more coke and heroin there + tequilla then smoked more weed on the way home ) so some weed and a couple beers is like nothing for me...

i think of low level intoxication like having a few shots of whiskey and smoking a few joints then maybe having a few beers...

but i don't even have the attention span for d&d sober