/agpg/ - AGP General

AGP questions and answers
>Thoughts and feelings / emotions
>Help, advice, guidance
>Be cozy and chill out

>What is AGP?
Autogynephilia, from Greek αὐτό- ("self"), γυνή ("woman") and φιλία ("love"). Broadly, arousal to the thought of being a woman. It can take many forms - being aroused at imagining or seeing yourself with a female body, dressing in clothes that make you appear feminine, acting in stereotypical "feminine" ways, or others.

>Isn't AGP just discredited pseudoscience?
No, you might be thinking of Blanchard's Typology, which includes the idea of AGP. Regardless of whether or not you agree with Blanchard's ideas, AGP is very real to the people who experience it.

>I'm AGP, does this mean I'm not trans?
No, you can be AGP and trans.

>Aren't you all just trannies in denial?
Some people with AGP will go on to transition, while others are content with incorporating it into their sex life or simply the occasional indulgence. It varies greatly in intensity. If AGP consumes a lot of your mental energy or causes you lots of distress, it is probably worth asking more questions.

Reminder that if you are AGP and you go all the way and get to look like a pretty girl not to get srs.

>>7768875

>tfw my hands aren't that tiny

>>7769275

Why?

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>>7768875

>>7768875
I swear to god if I'm AGP and not trutrans I'll kill myself

>>7769452

What reason do you have to doubt yourself?

questioning cis guy here: how do i know if i qualify for agp?

>>7769580
is your brain so fucked that when it imagines its body without a wiener, it sends blood to its wiener?

>>7769623

>the confusion of being a fifth grader with the desire to get castrated

>>7769648
This I want to hear about.

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>>7756936
NO ONE REALLY HELPED ME IN THE LAST THREAD!

FUCKING REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!

going to dump this link again:
https://thingofthings.wordpress.com/2017/02/15/transgender-intellectual-turing-test/
>>7767913
the writer of that blog is pretty much the only identitarian who likes/doesn't shoot blanchardians on sight, despite the fact several other unusual ideologies have accused her of having a capricious comments ban policy in the past
she's followed by unremediatedgender.space, a greatly interesting blanchardian blog that i regularly check for updates, and i often go and look at her blog through the blogroll on his (she's mostly been saying stupid things about fat acceptance lately though)

>>7770014
what other ideologies?

>>7769452
kys for being a retard instead

>>7769671

I've got two memories about this and I'm not sure which came first.

In one, my two friends were talking about something I didn't know about. Apparently a female classmate had a secret she told my friends that she told them not to tell me. They broke their promise and told me anyway. What they told me was that she took a walk in the park with her dog, where she found a dead man. He was naked and his dick was skinless for some reason. Her dog, maybe thinking it was a hot dog, bit the dick off. I got an instant erection. I later had fantasies about being an adult and having a dog. I would imagine going to sleep naked and my dog biting my dick off as I slept.

The other happened as I was sitting at the lunch table, probably during lunch and not breakfast. One of those same two friends whispered to me how doctors can turn a penis into a vagina. I don't remember what he said exactly or how he lead up to the explanation during our conversation, as far as I recall, his explanation was unsolicited and unexpected. But his description was detailed and every word grew and maintained my throbbing erection. The kind of really hard erections that's bursting through your pants.

When I would imagine getting my penis removed, it puzzled me how my penis could get hard. I thought that if your penis gets hard, that's what your penis wants, but how could it desire its own destruction?

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Why is it claimed that most/all gynephilic MtFs are AGP? It just feels incredibly homophobic and sexist honestly. Apparently lesbians are less legitimate women, and the only reason someone could want to be a woman is for sexual reasons. I don't feel the least bit lewd toward myself.

>>7770357
The notion of agp IS lesbophobic and misogynistic, congratulations on noticing.

>>7770365
no it isn't
t. bi agp

>>7770324
And you wonder why people think you're mentally ill...

>>7770382
Fine, the notion that all gynephilic trans women are necessarily agp is lesbophobic and misogynistic, how about that?

>>7770382
it can be

>>7770357

The other part is that if you look at Blanchard's categories, exclusively attracted to men and not, you realize he doesn't believe bisexuals exist. To him, every male to female bisexual's true erotically targeted gender is female and the attraction to men is just another part of the self-attraction to the idea of being a feminine woman. I find that extremely offensive. He claims I amoutright incapable of loving a man and that if I enter a relationship with one, no matter how successful, long, and committed a relationship it is, I'm really just wasting his time with fake love and he's merely a prop used in my relationship with myself. I'm not saying I'm not an AGP bisexual. I am a bisexual and AGP.

>>7770387
and the notion that exclusively androphilic trans women aren't agp is heterophobic and misogynist?

>>7770385

I'm sure that's why you're here with us...

>>7770437
>To him, every male to female bisexual's true erotically targeted gender is female and the attraction to men is just another part of the self-attraction to the idea of being a feminine woman. I find that extremely offensive.
maybe he's right and our attraction to men is part of our self-attraction or maybe he's wrong. what's does it matter?

>He claims I amoutright incapable of loving a man and that if I enter a relationship with one, no matter how successful, long, and committed a relationship it is, I'm really just wasting his time with fake love and he's merely a prop used in my relationship with myself.
no you are doing that by saying meta-attraction is fake love and only erotic target love is real.

>>7770324
Your penis wants to turn into a vagina. Or more precisely your central nervous system wants it.

I think this would be of interest to you http://ai.eecs.umich.edu/people/conway/TS/SRS.html

>>7769623
>>7769648
questioning cis guy here: I'm no longer questioning I guess. Fuck. All this applies to me

>>7772278
i guess now the real question is, do i start hormones even though i have really broad shoulders and little hope of ever passing?

>>7772296
Well how old are you and what are your measurements?

>>7772325
21, and i dunno my measurements. let's just say i have literal lineman shoulders. and i'm 6'1

>>7772327
Oh yeah you are fucked.

>>7772344
my face will pass at least.
what do i do?

>>7772347
Lol are you SURE about that? At 21?

>>7772360
i mean, other legbutts said it would, so that's what i'm going off of

A bit of an odd post but I feel that I need to make it. I've spent the last year or so hanging out here and trying to help people when I have the energy. I'm incredibly tired as of late and just can't find it in me to continue doing so. The site's endless negativity and the futility of trying to change things for the better got to me.

If you can, please try to help the people who come to this thread in search of aid, or just sadpost aimlessly. A lot of posts are left unanswered and as sad as that may be you're probably the only people their posters can get help from. If you're not yet worn out please make the effort. It will mean a lot to them.

Goodbye and good luck!

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>>7773308
I think it is funny how people always feel the need to "sign off" with some dramatic statement.
You obviously want people to beg you to stay or give you a medal for all your hard work shitposting.
If you're going to walk away, don't look back is all I'm saying.

>>7773360

No need to be negative.

>>7773360
I know this is hardly a community but I can't help but feel otherwise. I've spent a very long time here and feel for the lot of you. Signing off a gen is weird, I agree, but it gives me some closure.

>>7773383
I hope you can find peace after the trauma that you've endured fighting the clone wars

>>7773308
Why are you tired anon?

>>7770365
Not really. It just exists (unless you're suggestig that the AGP arousal is actually something else?); the notion of morality doesn't apply to it. As for Blanchard's typology, sure, you can say there's bigotry there.

>>7773687
She made a separate thread about how reality is misogynistic >>7770709

>>7773761
That wasn't me who made that thread, it was probably the person I was replying to.

>>7773761
To be honest continuing to use the term "AGP", which Blanchard defined, makes the distinction between Blanchard's typology and AGP as a phenomenon itself unclear, and naturally leads to people conflating them. Despite that it is really the best term in isolation, and I don't think it makes sense to push to change it to something less accurately descriptive.

>>7773687
I should add to this post. It's only bigoted when one's personal views are affecting the theory. If it really were true that all gynephilic transwomen were AGP and all androphilia in bisexual transwomen was just meta-attraction, then the theory would just be describing reality, no matter how that may make you feel. It's like being offended by the theory of evolution because you don't like how it makes humans "the same" as animals, the only difference being that Blanchard's AGP typology doesn't have sufficient evidence supporting it like evolution does. The problem with Blanchard's research and typology isn't the conclusions he reached, but the fact that the research was unscientifically conducted and manipulated to support is personal views, rather than being objective.

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>>7768875
Who here anime AGP?
Pic related
>>7769275
Straightfag here. no.
>>7770357
Bisexuality is a meme

AYY GEE PEE MASTERRACE

>>7773813
It's the typology that needs new terms. Then "AGP" can refer exclusively to the phenomenon.

>>7769865
>wall of text
Give your post some structure,
o frog.

Break it down into logical points.
You're already doing quite well –
at least you use punctuation.
Still not well enough.

>>7769648 >>7769580
>being a fifth grader with the desire to get castrated
>AGP
Nope.

To call it "AGP" would be to equate femininity with mutilation and the lack of penis. That's retarded. You're just classic mediaeval eunuch (pre-op).

Comparable nonsense:
>being a fifth grader with the desire to be slim
>being a fifth grader with the desire to bleed
>being a fifth grader with the desire to be beaten
>do I qualify for agp?

>>7775306
Read the actual story >>7770324

Part of it is about getting SRS.

>I might be a repressed tranny and I need help because it's a medical condition, and it's a sensitive subject so everyone has to treat me with kid gloves and they all have to play along with whatever I decide because it's good for me, even if they find it uncomfortable or they don't want to because my feelings take precedent over everyone elses

>because I wanna

which school of thinking do you adhere to?

>nipples are tender
oh shit
I never meant to take it this far
do I bail or do I deal w/ it

buying my first girl clothes tomorrow from h&m online, does anyone know good sizing? I'm 120 lbs and 5'10" should i go for medium leggings and sweater or small for both or mix? i don't know sizing

>>7776379
Sure the reason I wanna sounds good, but that's not how it works. What you are arguing for here is to screw the poor even more when the corporations have their investment back already.

Imagine having a heart abnormality leading to a short lifespan. You'd certainly want to have a treatment to assure a long lifespan with freedom of movement and activities you desire to participate in. But if you are born with a specific central nervous system that just wishes to be the opposite gender, that's alien to most people.

>>7776738
AGP's aren't trannies

>>7776417
From taking HRT I assume?

How long have you been on it?
What made you want to take it?
What are your reservations about taking it?
Are you dysphoric?
Do you think you'd be happier living as a woman?
Would the changes to your body make you feel better, not taking into account fear of other people judging you poorly?

I am in a daily public lifestyle as well as requiring to deal with (distant) family and business obligations that would all collapse and disappear overnight if I dared to change my life so drastically. I live alone, 42 y.o. and can afford to do some things that help alleviate my identity stress enough so that I can easily survive. Put simply, I live as a guy during the day when I deal with business and customers or just generally out in the public. I live as a sexy female at home, where again, I live completely alone. I am happy with this arrangement. I live far away enough from family that it doesn’t really matter if I should ‘sissy up” for long hours at home.

When I get home I will exercise for a while then I will shower, shave my legs, apply Oestrogel (along with a tablet of finasteride) and finally apply body lotion to my legs and breasts. I will dry out and brush my long hair if I shampooed. All these things are done with feminine toiletries. I have nice soft pink toenail polish applied all the time. I have been on HRT for 5 months and have (very fortunately) grown quite large B-cup breasts (I can feel them still growing, even at 42). My figure is naturally slim and curvy – a body I know many females my age would envy (especially my legs). When I was very young many of my relatives said I was too pretty and girly-looking to be a boy. I guess I am lucky that I now use my inherited body shape to live my secret lifestyle. Very convenient. The HRT has added greatly to my body shape as the little fat that I have seems to have transferred to my hips (my small waist has narrowed even more), improving my womanly shape overall. Can I now hide my shape and breasts during the day when I am in guy mode? Not really, I am sure. But I dress professionally during the day in such a way that my female shape and breasts are not obvious (I assume). At least no one has mentioned it (yet).

cont.

>>7777155
So at night, until bed (sleep naked in girl mode, of course), I wear a bikini set (or bra and girl shorts) with high heels and girlish jewelry. I don’t do make-up but I may someday. But from the neck down I am quite unmistakably female in appearance. So this daily regimen (along with the effects of HRT) satisfies me quite well as far as my body needs are concerned. I am lucky in one way: I don’t have a strong desire to present female outside home. I live 12 to 14 hours every 24-hour day as female. It works for me. I work hard during the day and look forward to nights. I do have a social life, but luckily I don’t have to do anything that requires I go topless and expose my new breasts. I guess I have given up on ever getting married again (I was once married years ago, luckily no kids). I can’t imagine a woman desiring to live with someone like me. That’s okay, though. I am content.

>>7776997
The biology behind it is not that simple. We are all variables on a spectrum.

>>7777158
Have you ever considered SRS? I am interested in your personal introspection on the subject.

I suspect you don't care about sex or a partner that much because your testosterone is very low.

>>7777158
>So at night, until bed (sleep naked in girl mode, of course), I wear a bikini set (or bra and girl shorts) with high heels and girlish jewelry.
Female outerwear too? Why sleep naked instead of in something feminine, PJ's or bikini?

>I am lucky in one way: I don’t have a strong desire to present female outside home. I live 12 to 14 hours every 24-hour day as female.
Speculation is that it's not transition that causes AGP to fade away but living as a girl. By staying boymode you might get to keep your AGP!

How do you feel content while being alone?

>>7769275
that was my plan all along
you forgot the part though where you're never able to come even close to looking like a pretty girl

>>7777777
The end is nigh.

>>7768875
I WANT TO FUG A TRANSBIAN TBHON

>tfw no transbian to fug

>>7777958
Whatever, it's the transhumanist future, people can do whatever they want tbqh

>>7769865
Format your text faggot. It's just painful to look at, so obviously no one is gonna respond.

Who /behavioral AGP/ here?

I really aint got no other agp formes.

>>7773308
tbqh you and lowcap ftm both trigger me

>>7778770
explain this

>>7779147

Why?

>>7779243

There are kinds of AGP.

>Physiologic AGP
Arousal to having the physiological functions specific to females. I think that's basically just menstruation, pregnancy, and giving birth since males can still lactate.
>Anatomic AGP
Arousal to having a female body. Very likely to need to transition.
>Transvestic AGP
Arousal to wearing women's clothing. Not likely to need to transition.
>Behavioral AGP
Arousal to doing activities considered feminine.
>Interpersonal AGP
Arousal to the idea of being treated as a woman. Bisexuals dominate this category.

I have anatomic and interpersonal at the minimum, but I'm not sure if I have more.

>>7777155
are you taking an anti-androgen like spironolactone, cyproterone acetate, or bicalutamide? estrogen and finasteride alone are not a complete hormone regimen

see >>7752927

>>7779378
because both of you ignore questions.

>>7779600

I'm not either of them. I'm just asking.

>>7779671
both of them* then

>>7778000
Remarkable triceps.

>>7779378
Interesting...

>Pysiological AGP.
not that I've noticed
>Anatomic AGP
Yes
>Transvestic AGP
This one is interesting, I never wore female clothing until I started medical transition, then I wore some and it aroused me...
Never done it since, felt weird, caused dysophoria
>Behavioral AGP
Moderately
>Interpersonal AGP
Moderately

The thing with AGP is it's more than just sexual, or at least for me. It's emotional, I am almost in love with the idea of being female (I know I sound like Lawrence right now) I've found that the sexual component has grown to give me dysphoria, because it actually invalidates the possibility of me being female.

I'm kind of rambling now, but can anyone relate?

>>7780012
>sexual component has grown to give me dysphoria
Yeah, its part of the typical cycle of AGP and part of the reason why so many decide to transition for a "fetish".

>>7780012
How do you not wear female clothing if you've medically transitioned?

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>>7779460
>are you taking an anti-androgen?
>estrogen is not a complete hormone regimen
"Not complete" for what?

Anti-androgens don't make you feminine – they make you frail and asexual.

Emulate alpha women, not "average" women.

>>7780064
MTF, unlike FTM (usually) can take hormones (medically transition) without presenting as female (social transition).

>>7780085
>implying I don't want to be frail and asexual
AGP is nothing but an annoyance

>>7780100
Why the whole pretence of trans "woman"? You could just go eunuch-mode and be honest with yourself and everybody.

Alpha women are AGP.
Therefore trutrans aren't women.
Q.E.D.

>>7780064
>: Not all Cis females wear stereotypical female clothing. Trans females are more likely to do so.

>>7780064

Pretty sure they just mean HRT. And of course you can be on HRT for years without passing depending on how bad your start point was.

>>7780133
Could you stop trying to trap me with this shit? I never said anything about "stereotypical" female clothing, I was talking about the normal shit that you wear day-to-day.

>>7780064
When I said medically transitioned I meant like several months of HRT. I have not socially transitioned and I don't even know if I want to anymore

>>7779378
>Interpersonal AGP
>Bisexuals dominate this category.
How do you know me?

>>7779378
What if you have them all?

>>7780816
i guess you're truagp then

>>7780816
>>7780928
That's probably common. I have all except behavioral.

>>7780939
meh, i have anatomic, and then only very light transvestic and interpersonal

>>7780064
When I said medically transitioned I meant like several months of HRT. I have not socially transitioned and I don't even know if I want to anymore

Are we allowed to post lewd stuff in thread?

>>7782512

I have no problem with it. Just don't post anything you wouldn't post on a blue board.

>>7782974
>blue board
It's rather hard to discuss AGP issues without AGP images.

That's why I say /lgbt/ is oppressive to AGP by design (systematically).

It seems that >>>/d/ would be more suitable for unrepressed AGP debate.

>>7783059
Sadly the board is /lgbt/ not /lgbtagp/.

Just link or describe images you want to share.

Most threads with a lot of text get deleted on /d/. It's an image dump board, not a talk board. Images that aren't hentai get deleted too.

>first time on /lgbt/
>see this thread

>"Describe your experiences and we'll try and help you find out."
So here we go:

I'm a completely straight guy.
I like to be skinny, wear really tight jeans, have a weird fringey haircut. I straighten my hair everyday. I have my septum pierced. I subconsciously sit, walk and sometimes talk like a girl. I feel at my best when I look as faggy and feminine as possible. I have cosmetics wherever I go (not actual make-up, just cologne, hand cream, deodorant, even chapstick)
Nothing turns me on more than lesbian sex/romance and shit like that. Whenever I have sex I focus a lot more on prelude rather than penetration and stuff.
Everyone at work thinks I'm gay.. most of them being absolutely certain about it. I've got hit on by every single gay guy in the building.
Most of my friends are female and I just the thought of wearing female lingerie excites me beyond limit.
I would never actually transition. I'm okay with being a dude I guess. And as offensive as this sounds to trans people: I don't wanna end up looking like a guy pretending to be a girl even thought that's basically what I'm doing.

>>7783186
Your body is only going to continue to masculinize as you get older. You'll look more congruent as a femmy guy if you take preservatives.

>>7783142
>/lgbt/ not /lgbtagp/
>not considering AGP legitimate part of LGBT
Trans TERF detected.
This board is /lgbt-except-agp/, not /lgbt/.

>Most threads with a lot of text get deleted on /d/. It's an image dump board, not a talk board. Images that aren't hentai get deleted too.
TRUTH. This is why I actually consider THE WHOLE 4chan a sneaky anti-trans setup: a ploy to destroy trans by giving voice only to its self-destrictive "trutrans" strand. It's comparable to destruction of feminism by giving voice only to feminazis.

4chan thwarts AGP by separating the inseparable: trans erotica (/d/) from trans debate (/lgbt/). In this way, it accomplishes a circular logic to "prove" that trans women from /lgbt/ aren't AGP.

>>7783221
Yeah, I agree with that. It's just that sometimes I feel like it's harder to attract women when you're basically one of them.

>>7769540
Late onset GD after failing femboy mode
But I only ever dated men so maybe I'm okay

>>7780928
What is truAGP. All I hear is AGP is a meme.

>>7784923
i was just memeing tbdesu

>>7783280
>4chan thwarts AGP by separating the inseparable: trans erotica (/d/) from trans debate (/lgbt/). In this way, it accomplishes a circular logic to "prove" that trans women from /lgbt/ aren't AGP.
What can we do though? There's no board on the site where we can have the erotica and the debate.

>get off to idea of being a girl
>to this end, take skittles
>lose sex drive
>forgot why I started
feel like I'm the butt of a cruel joke

>>7790357
The great agp dilemma. How far have you transitioned?

>>7790460
still within bail range

>>7790469
Are you going to bail or keep going? Is it pointless without the agp?

>>7790469
if you stop you'll just be reminded of why you started
stick with it, at least until you start to feel better

>>7790524
I don't know, easy answers don't seem to exist in this field
It'll be a lot of hassle to continue, and will force me to address some long standing issues
perhaps that's for the best though, I'll never be content in the rut I'm in right now.
I'll keep going until I can't any more.

>>7790525
yeah I was afraid of that
out of sight, out of mind, it's not a good way to live

>>7790540
What will it force you to address? Why aren't you content?

You said you took skittles because agp gets you off, but it sounds like you have more reasons to want to be a girl and losing your sex drive and agp might be worth it for them. Is that right?

>>7790558
if I was happy I wouldn't be on skittle now would I?
sorry but I can't offer any more insight than that because I simply don't know

>>7790237
>What can we do though?
1. Impeach moot! (Really simplest.)
2. Create a slow /b/ for all. (No, that wouldn't work.)
3. Let anyone create and moderate a board.
4. Merge /lgbt/ + /d/ + /hm/. (We would inherit morons from /d/ who send you to Tumblr for every attempt at thinking. But it would also make the most oppressive LGBT people run away from /lgbt/ like from fire... probably most "trutrans" and feminazis. Positive benefit-to-harm ratio.)

>>7790712
if you just want an echo chamber go to reddit

>>7790753
>i hate echo chambers, stop ruining my echo chamber!

why does my dick get so hard at the thought of chopping it off

dumbest fetish seriously

>>7792444
>"trutrannies" summed up

>>7790712
>4. Merge /lgbt/ + /d/ + /hm/. (We would inherit morons from /d/ who send you to Tumblr for every attempt at thinking. But it would also make the most oppressive LGBT people run away from /lgbt/ like from fire... probably most "trutrans" and feminazis. Positive benefit-to-harm ratio.)
any form of '/tttt/ becomes an nsfw board' would destroy the board culture by force of the porn threads being much more active and 4chan would lose its trans discussion space entirely

>>7793783
Rational argument. You convinced me.

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>start getting horny again after dead sex drive
>decide to take care of it
>use my arm in a way so my boobs now jiggle back and forth

>>7793766
Wouldn't argue I'm trutrans but yeah silly how some think AGPs don't want SRS, for me its the biggest turn on

>>7794230
No matter how many AGPs "don't love" their penises, they still aren't close to the 100% of trutrannies who "don't love" them.

It must be rather hard to dislike your penis when it's where your reward goes for becoming a woman (as is the case in AGP).

>>7794445
>It must be rather hard to dislike your penis when it's where your reward goes for becoming a woman (as is the case in AGP).
But that's wrong (or at least far from universal).

>>7794457
I believe you.

>>7790793
I have the right to be an asshole to you

>>7784252

Always had the feeling that there are much more "trans types" than just HSTS and AGP.

those 2 "standard narratives" can't explain circa 15%-25% of the narratives I've heard out there

>>7794445

> the 100% of trutrannies who "don't love" them.

Oh boy, you've got much to learn...

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Am I AGP?

>Small, long haired, slim, not often it happens but have confused people with gender until I talk
>Wish voice was more fem :|
>Dress like a girl when possible, not often cause roommates which legit makes me pretty angry
>Hate having to be the "sharp dressed man" if i'm going out so i dress like trash because i'd rather be fem
>Really want to dress fem outside, starting to not give a shit about what society thinks
>Want HRT, seeing a psych about it soon as well as depression since i feel trapped and want out of the "dude bullshit"
>If I masturbate I hardly use my dick, prefer toys. It's gotten to the point I can orgasm from anal alone consistently.
>Have hobbies but most are antisocial and weird to most people anyhow so not worried there, well, except for bikes/cars

Sure there's more but I'm forgetting shit

>>7795616
Youre trans

Did u even read the OP?

>>7795616
>what society thinks
accept that you feeling bad is your own issue to deal with
I'm saying saying it's right, but people's opinions on trannies isn't going to change in your lifetime.
Your own self image however is completely fixable.

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>>7795616
If you derive sexual satisfaction from being treated as a girl, then yes.

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>>7795640
No, to be honest. But thanks.
>>7795644
I know, and I've accepted that's just the way of the road. There's never not going to be racists, homophobes, whatever because it's human nature to talk trash.
>>7795650
Thanks psych kitty, you look very fluzz.

Gonna mention AGP to my psych when I see them and tell them what's up. Curious to see what a professional says.

https://thingofthings.wordpress.com/2017/02/15/transgender-intellectual-turing-test/
finally sent in my responses to this

>>7794230
Can you describe how SRS is a turn on? Do you plan on getting it?

I think I started out as agp early on in highschool but now I'm 22 and about to finish college. I no longer get aroused about the thought of being more feminine and I feel like I need I need to transition for my own personal benefit. I'm terrified of the thought of what I will look like in 10 years without HRT or FFS. I'm going to see my therapist this week (this is my 2nd visit) and want to bring up my gender dysphoria for the first time. I'm kind of nervous as to how the session will end up but I no longer treat this as a fetish so I think it will go well. Will give more details if anything interesting happens.

is it possible to be trans + agp ?


>had sexual thoughts of being dominated by women at young age and crossdressed, also wished I was a girl though and always had dreams/daydreams of going to sleep and waking up as a girl
>prayed to god every night to wake up as a girl
>thought it was normal to want to be a girl
>at 12~ learn that it's not normal and guys want to be guys
>depressed every time future comes up because I dont' have a future since I can't be a girl
>gets worse as I go through high school
>basically just can't care about stuff because it doesn't matter because I'm not me/real person (a girl)
>stopped being attracted to girls, mostly attracted to guys now
>i might be able to be attracted to girls as a girl and I definitely like guys
>miserable most of the time and want to die

>>7799471
>is it possible to be trans + agp ?
You didn't read the OP, did you?

From what you've said it's really obvious you're trans. I mean maybe you're not (you don't want to jump to conclusions) but I can't see how that would be the case, and it certainly bears exploring. I can personally relate to a lot of it. In particular:
>also wished I was a girl though and always had dreams/daydreams of going to sleep and waking up as a girl
>depressed every time future comes up because I dont' have a future since I can't be a girl
>basically just can't care about stuff because it doesn't matter because I'm not me/real person (a girl)
And obviously the crippling depression and sense of emptiness and longing too.

To cis males, "a real person" does not mean "a girl". Not feeling like a real person already indicates something is seriously, fundamentally wrong. When the answer is so clear and simple (and is something which isn't intrinsically good, and therefore you only want it because it suits you rather than because you think "the grass is greener on the other side" or whatever) you can't really deny that you're trans.

Do you have a therapist? What do you think about getting on HRT? Would you be happier if you could be female, do you think?

>>7799471
>>7769268

>>7794562
What are the mystery trans narratives?

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>came out to my mom at 5 saying "i'm a girl, why won't god listen"
>pray to wake up a girl every single day
>every single birthday i blow out the candles, it's always the same wish:
>wishtobefemale.jpg
>dressing in girls clothes since 13
>masturabated to the idea of me being female / transformation porn
>started HRT 18
>full time at 19
>FFS at 20
>22 now

Honestly, I only think that the idea of being a girl makes me so "excited" is because my dysphoria is SO SO fucking deep rooted. like i dont think im AGP, I just think that my brain is just so fucking broken from being born with a girls brain this is how it responds to finally getting what it's wanted.

What are your thoughts? wtf am I?

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>>7799794
Wtf is with all these people getting FFS so soon after starting HRT. I would literally murder someone for FFS money.

>>7799819
Rich parents or prostitution

>>7799832
If you're an escort, can you make your client use a condom, so you don't get diseases? Or do they get to fuck you raw, since they paid for it?

>>7799882
lol, condom is a MUST. any hooker will never touch you without one.

if shes a smart hooker there isnt enough money you could give her for "raw."

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>>7768875
"would you fuck me? I'd fuck me"

>>7772160

I've actually masturbated to this video before if that was your intention in linking me that. https://www.realself.com/forum/male-female-reassignment-surgery-warning-graphic-video

>>7795644 >>7795705 >>7795616
>People's opinions on trannies isn't going to change in your lifetime.
>There's never not going to be racists, homophobes, whatever because it's human nature.
>You feeling bad is your own issue to deal with.
>Don't give a shit about what society thinks.
Are you saying it's a good decision to get murdered?

>>7799557
>Do you have a therapist? What do you think about getting on HRT? Would you be happier if you could be female, do you think?

I don't have a therapist.
I've thought about HRT before but idk, I hate myself for being like this and sometimes I think I'd rather just suffer. I have no idea if I would be happier or not, but maybe?

>>7800950
>I don't have a therapist.
Maybe you have the arapist.

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>>7799471

So this is common with transgirls?

>basically just can't care about stuff because it doesn't matter because I'm not me/real person (a girl)

>I just kept telling my self it was my underling mental problems, started repressing hardcore.
>Laying awake one night high, trying to fall asleep, thinking about all my fuck up " remember that time you wanted to be a girl when you where younger anon"
>Continue contemplating this until I fall asleep.
>Decide to jump down the rabbit hole, the next morning. I realize I never took my life or future seriously as I never had the basic control to be the person I wanted to be.
>Half the mental problems I have had for years was intense dysphoria. Sexual repression comes out too, that's a whole different story.
>Decide I have nothing to loose and found the closes IC

That was 3 months ago and I have been on hrt for little over 1. It's made everything considerably better, I just still have a crap ton of regret for waiting so long.
The thing what confuses me is I have this immense want to be a fetish object, I like the idea of being an exhibitionist, wanting do caming/porn. Am I AGP?

>>7801405
>Am I AGP?
Possibly, whatever it means to be AGP is debatable though.

>>7801405
>Half the mental problems I have had for years was intense dysphoria.

that's another hard part

I don't know what is caused by (probably) being a tranny, what is caused by me being mentally ill, what is caused by me being (probably) aspie/borderline aspie.

I also feel like I basically just stopped developing like a normal person in my early teens. I didn't go through any normal milestones and my life has pretty much stagnated.

And combined with not even feeling like a real person I don't know anything about myself because I've never really formed a personality I just act like I'm expected by different people in different situations. So I don't really have likes or dislikes or hobbies or things I enjoy I just exist.

Even if I didn't transition I'd be so far behind being a normal person that what's the point?


I always tell myself it's a situation like where something is so broken it's easier to get rid of it rather than spend time fixing it.

>>7801531
*Even if I did transition I'd be so far behind I'd never be able to be normal if I even have the capacity to.

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>>7800248
>asking people "would you fuck me" based ON FACE
I would fuck a monster if it were in a good shape.

>>7801531

>I don't know what is caused by (probably) being a tranny, what is caused by me being mentally ill, what is caused by me being (probably) aspie/borderline aspie.

For me it was my parents that told me I had a chemical imbalance and that if I stayed on my meds i would be normal.

>I also feel like I basically just stopped developing like a normal person in my early teens. I didn't go through any normal milestones and my life has pretty much stagnated.

I had the same thing happen, stagnated with my life and just got worked into being more introverted.
However, this started to go away once I started hrt and just accepted who I was. I finally got the will to wanna go out and do things with my life. I don't know how long this is gonna last tho.

>Even if I did transition I'd be so far behind I'd never be able to be normal if I even have the capacity to.

What do you mean so far behind? unless you are like late 20's you have a decent shot, but also comes down to genetics. I already got confused for a girl/dyke when I was trying to be a man so I guess it wasn't that hard for me.

>>7799819
??
2 years after HRT is not "so soon"

(also meme professions like programming.. i'm gonna try to get FFS by the end of the year and i haven't even started working yet)

>>7802259
I didn't even pass at 2 years, well I mean, I did pass to dumb cis people, but not really. 2 years is nothing, I'm 7 years and counting now.

>>7802277
>BDD-chan

oh i forgot to filter you. forgive me for responding

>>7802380
>filter

Wh-what is this? I guess it's time to stop namefagging, I just wanted people to put a face to my posts so I wouldn't always have to post my pics anymore.

>>7802470
>namefag
>picturefag
>newfag
jesus christ

>>7800248

I wouldn't. Your face still looks too manly.

>>7801405

You sound like me, lmao.

>>7802560
>Your face still looks too manly.
You wouldn't fuck any woman that looks adult.

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>be me
>be really fucking sick, throwing up all day, semi-delirious
>stay home from university classes and be kind of bored
>randomly decide to look up my old namefag in the loveisover archive to see if anyone has said anything about me since I've been gone

> http://archive.loveisover.me/lgbt/thread/7708427/#7714030
> http://archive.loveisover.me/lgbt/thread/7404073/#7414921

I... I didn't realize anyone cared about me :'(

is there any way to fix agp?

>>7802641
"Don't fix what isn't broken."

>>7802640
I'm new and only started posting after you were a thing. What's your AGP like?

>>7802640
At least you have a name. Who's going to miss an anon like me?

>>7802699
Say what your AGP is like and then we'll be able to get to know you.

>>7802709
I can't, that would compromise my anonymity. It would be AGP-fagging.

>>7802719
Ok but promise me your AGP isn't unusual or weird so I know I'm not missing out on hearing a new twist.

>>7802684
hmm i would really like to just become a girl, but honestly i think im way to masculine to ever pass. so i think its best to just try to fix the problem itself,

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>>7802727
LOL. Okay, I'm pic-related sort of AGP. That's distinct from being hon because there's no UNINTENDED masculinity here, am I right? The dysphoria is negligible, it's pure celebration of the feminine without repressing the masculine. So not cis but not trutrans.

My AGP is actually quite irrelevant anyway since I'm not doing much to fulfill it IRL. I'm here to discuss AGP of people actually committed to being trans.

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>>7802697
Well, I actually don't really have AGP anymore, but when I started posting I still had some. At this point, I'm almost totally stealth, have been in and out of one long term relationship with a guy while living as a female, and am getting SRS in 2 months.

If you're wondering what my backstory is though, the basic gist of it is that I was a huge flamer as a young boy and wanted to be a girl, but then I got bullied really bad for acting effeminate and had to go into homeschooling. After that, I entered this repressive phase where I tried to be a guy and I sort of developed AGP as a coping mechanism. Eventually I got really depressed doing that, and decided to pursue transition when I was 16. I'm almost 20 now.

If you have anything else you want to ask me, let me know. Damn, this reminds me of old times.

Also, to anyone who took my survey, sorry for being a bitch and not releasing the results. I'll try to get on that ASAP.

>>7802828
>started later than me
>getting SRS as a teenager

Am I just dumb for being poor?

>>7802841
What's your story, anon?

>>7802814
That is unusual! Does the masculine not detract from the feminine and make it less arousing or even dysphoric?

Non-transitioning AGP is still relevant to the AGP discussion. Why are you interested in transitioners' AGP?

>>7802869
Just can't figure out how to afford it, or get on a waitlist or anything, even though I'm actually dysphoric and want it gone, not even necessarily for sex reasons or anything. So I don't know what to do, I'm starting to get a little too old (early 20s).

>>7802828
>but then I got bullied really bad for acting effeminate and had to go into homeschooling.
I thought that was illegal in Germany?

Which of the AGP kinds >>7779378 did you get? What were your fantasies? What's gone and what's stayed since transition?

>Damn, this reminds me of old times.
I missed them, so please reminisce!

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>>7802905
>I thought that was illegal in Germany?
Born in the former East Germany, but raised in the German part of Pennsylvania.

>Which of the AGP kinds >>7779378 did you get?
Almost entirely anatomical, but a bit of interpersonal and behavioural.

>I missed them, so please reminisce!
Basically people used to be come here and be like "I'm AGP, this is my story, what should I do/how will things turn out for me?" and I would try to help them by using my knowledge and anecdotes from own personal experience. I think I was also one of the only posters here at the time who had been transitioning for a while, so I suppose I had some insight that most other people couldn't offer.

>>7802874
>Does the masculine not detract from the feminine
That's the great fallacy of the Dark Ages before the 22nd century: the idea that femininity is a negation of masculinity, a.k.a. "binary sexuality". Femininity and masculinity are independent dimensions. They don't contradict each other – they complement each other.

Those biological gender attributes that are irreconcilable with the opposite gender are actually DISORDERS of gender; whereas others have been FALSELY labelled as "irreconcilable" as part of internalised misogyny, misandry and transphobia.

Binary sexuality is a byproduct of the archaic rape culture (sadomasochism) with its division of roles into master and slave. It was finally abandoned in the 2070s partly as a reaction to World War 3 and partly as a result of improved health whereby both genders could finally reach their full unimpeded physical potential (men growing full hips and breasts, women growing full muscles and clitoris, etc.).

>>7803124
>men growing full hips and breasts, women growing full muscles and clitoris, etc.
But those traits serve different purposes. Why would someone want all of them?

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>tfw not even AI black magic can make you a pretty girl

>>7802874
>Why are you interested in transitioners' AGP?
Because I'm looking for love. I need a dickgirl – and the systematic attack on AGP (sexuality itself really) destroys my dickgirls psychologically and physically (HRT/SRS). I come here and I see hundreds of them cutting their best assets off... and not ONE loving them. It's like being rich and seeing all your money burn. Doing what they do is understandable if AGP (sexuality) is bad. (If!)

There's clearly some unnatural and alarming lack of diversity here in 4chan's trans population. It's as if you came to a "bodybuilding" forum and saw that everyone posting on it is into anorexia.

>>7803268
>referring to a trans girl's dick as her "best asset"

It's guys like you who don't even suck on our titties, right? That's you, right?

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>>7803201
>breastfeeding is irreconcilable with ejaculation
>big muscles are irrenoncilable with healthy fat distribution
Where did you get these ideas from?

>>7802640
trip+name off

>>7803258
some chinese cis girls look like that
in any case this should ease down the agp

>>7803258
are you fucking kidding? that pic is hot as fuck

>>7803373
[Citation needed]

>>7803258
Lots of women aren't pretty. Not everyone is destined to be pretty. Accept that you're not pretty and work with what you have, like millions of other women. Don't obsess so much over your own unrealistic standards. Be a woman, but know that you won't be in the top percentile of attractiveness. You'll be just like all the other average women.

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>>7803373
Aaaand now I'm remembering why I left this place again.

>>7803318
Well, I don't have a severe dysphoria to drive me, so yes, no titties. I don't have to be a tranny myself to love trannies. I definitely wouldn't complain to a doctor about massive gynecomastia though like 98% of guys and 100% of trans men do.

>questioning that a trans girl's dick is her best asset
What is a trans woman without a penis? Please, tell me. Okay, let me tell you: she's neither the best woman nor the best man. She's inferior to both. She has no advantage left.

>>7803424
good, leave.

you'd be fine if you weren't a retarded fucking tripfag, get the fuck out. kill yourself faggot

>>7803424
I love tripfags. We must kill anonymouses.

>>7803424
>>7803445
>>>/reddit/

>>7803336
>wide hips for birthing
>muscles for defending the birthers

>>7803424
First, ignore posters like that.

Second, don't be so touchy.

>>7803438
I can't even parse the first part of your post, I'm just saying that cis girls and SOME guys manage to suck on the titty like normal people, but chasers don't, they just go straight for the girldick.

The second part of your post reads like a cartoon villain spiel.

>>7803438
>she's neither the best woman nor the best man. She's inferior to both. She has no advantage left.
my personality?

>>7803473
no, tripfags are not to be fucking tolerated here. don't imply that they are

>>7803459
>thinking muscles are for fighters
>in 2017
No, guns and knives are for fighters. Muscles are for lovers.

>wide hips for birthing
Bulging waist and skinny legs don't have any health benefits for men.

>>7803489
>my personality?
Not part of gender equation.

My uncle has great personality too. I'm not going to have sex with him because of that.

>>7803549
>being this homophobic and incestphobic

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>>7803477
>I can't even parse the first part of your post
The meaning was "I don't have big breasts to accomplish sucking on them." LOL. I didn't know you talked about me sucking YOUR breasts.

>Cis girls and SOME guys manage to suck on the titty like normal people, but chasers don't, they just go straight for the girldick.
Well, to answer your updated question: Neither! I would go for your biceps first... if there was any.

>>7803563
LOL.

>>7803318
>It's guys like you who don't even suck on our titties
I read "our" as "your". Sorry.

>>7800248
>>7803258
What is this?

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>>7803769
see >>7783269

>>7803511
>implying you care abour our anonymity
If you did, you'd complain against global rules that prohibit Tor, proxies and VPNs that enable real anonymity. You'd also complain against the global rule that prohibits complaining against global rules. Finally, you'd complain about the lack of accountability and transparency of moderation. But no... doing that would be against rules. So, instead, you choose to complain about people who give up their anonymity out of choice. It's really the freedom of choice is what upsets you. You campaign for the worst of two worlds: one in which people have neither the benefits of popularity nor safety. You're just an NSA shill anxious about losing exclusivity of your knowledge of users and angry that we don't take your joke of anonymity seriously. There is no market and strategic value in users' personal data when it's available for free and when the illusion of privacy is not maintained. That's what your crocodile tears are about, shill.

And even if our anonymity were real, the purpose of 4chan is more freedom, not less. There is no freedom in forced equality.

>>7803473
It's hard "to ignore" and "not to be touchy" when you physically can't post anymore because the grim circle reports you and the shill mod complies by physically banning you for nothing other than not being part of the grim circle (but never banning the grim circle for flaming and for abuse of reporting).

You need to come up with a better advice.

>>7803821
>the grim circle
I don't know what this is...

>>7802593

Quite the extrapolation. That pic honestly looks like a woman that had a high T endocrine disorder or is intersex. The Asian anon, for example, looks much better. Just like a normal woman.

>>7802732

Better to start HRT and confirm that you will never pass but be more comfortable with yourself than let time pass and realize you really did have a chance.

>>7803268

Damn, you are a fucking creep.

>>7803258

I agree with >>7803396. You just look like a decently cute cis girl. Try running that modified picture through again if you're curious though.

>>7803401

>yellow fever detected

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>>7803839
Any mysteriously connected group of sad people really.

>>7803847
>creep
Feminazi/trutrans code word for anyone whose sex drive hasn't been successfully exterminated.

>high T in women is endocrine disorder
No, it's what makes women different from little anime girls. And you are an oppressive misogynist.

>>7803778
because I would do all of that right here? nah fuck off

>>7803919
>I don't like the lack of true anonymity.
Maybe I underestimated you.

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Ey i look like a crazy alien girl

Id pay a ton to look like this IRL
Maybe surgery cud pull it off but id need a ton of shit done

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>>7799794
TFW NO ONE HAS AN ANSWER IF IM TRUTRANS OR AGP

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>7769865
>>7804085
>the curse of lack of (You)
Pity upon thee.

>>7804085
it doesn't matter tbqhywf

>>7803778
>one in which people have neither the benefits of popularity nor safety
This is exactly the best of both worlds. Kill yourself for thinking of otherwise.

>>7803778
take your meds senpai

>>7768875
So I'm really AGP
But I also have dysphoria
Is it worth transitioning?

>>7804148
Are you a communist or something?

>>7804199
Scum like you belongs in North Korea.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Political_abuse_of_psychiatry

>>7804280
kek, i bet you think communism = totalitarianism

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>>7804280
I'm whatever you want me to be, buddy.

>>7804347

>>7804347
That's what forced equality is.

>>7804383
>>7804363
>In political and social sciences, communism (from Latin communis, "common, universal")[1][2] is the philosophical, social, political, and economic ideology and movement whose ultimate goal is the establishment of the communist society, which is a socioeconomic order structured upon the common ownership of the means of production and the absence of social classes, money,[3][4] and the state.[5][6]
really maeks u think !!

>>7804216
I have been not transitioning
It sucks

>>7804395
Isn't the goal of communism and fascism erasing individuality, like currently 4chan?

>>7804383
Equality of opportunity is not equality of outcome. Being Anonymous means your posts are judged individually based on merit alone. Using an identifier when not directly relevant to the purpose of the thread makes you an attention-whoring faggot at absolute best.

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>>7804363
>>7804347
>>7804383
>>7804280
I think it's ironic that this argument started over me, and I actually am a communist....

>>7804445
>ill be honest, im only 16 right now, but im tall as fuck and i just know i couldnt pass
get the FUCK on hrt

>>7804445
>im only 16 right now
>16

There is almost no way you won't pass eventually.

>>7804445
You will immediately cease and not continue to access the site if you are under the age of 18.

>>7804445
>im only 16 right now
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>7804449
>get the FUCK on hrt
it really is too late for me though, im already too tall, and i have the face of a man. i also feel a need to have kids though when im older though. if i tried to become a girl though, im sure i couldnt pass and therefore i couldnt find a guy to be with. but at least if i stayed a guy, i could try to find some girl to be with and have kids with, even though i wouldnt really care for the sex and would have to take a shit ton of viagra. but honestly i think if i just went down the path of staying a guy i wouldnt be as alone in life, therefore probably having a better life.
and besides, even if i did decide to do it and i passed, what would i do when i start to get old and start looking like a man again?

>>7804521
>and besides, even if i did decide to do it and i passed, what would i do when i start to get old and start looking like a man again?

That's not how hormones work lmao. You are gonna regret this decision for the rest of your life.

>>7804404
One difference is that those forms of totalitarianism are compulsory erasures of individuality in order to suppress the people. Sites like 4chan in theory are optional hiding of individuality in order to empower the people.

>>7804478
>only 16
She writes totally like a conscious person though. With punctuation, syntax and purpose. Not like a toy human she's purported to be. Isn't that amazing?

>>7804524
>You are gonna regret this decision for the rest of your life.
that may be true, but i forsee that if i to try to transition, that really wont work, and i would just eventually kill myself. for me though life is just gonna be something i will have to go through without any sins to get the reward of going to heaven once im dead.
i really do wonder if it is bad enough to bother trying though, i dont really remember many times when i was younger and i would experience gender dysphoria, i probably just have agp

>>7804545
>Sites like 4chan in theory are optional hiding of individuality in order to empower the people.
Well, some people are trying to make it mandatory. That's when shit starts.

>>7801891
I'm 19 years old, almost 20.

If I got on hormones, during the time they took to make changes (1-2 years) I'd pretty much be finishing up college (don't even know what I want to do or anything, just going because supposed to).

Idk it would be a pain to find a job after 2~ years on hormones because I'd be obvious tranny or fem guy and people would think I'm a huge fag and wouldn't want to hire me.


Honestly this stuff is stuff I should talk about with a therapist but I'm too scared/nervous to see one of those anyway. I just wanna be normal and visiting a mental health person isn't normal, I don't think I'll ever be normal though and it hurts.

How do you know if you're trans or if it's just internalized homophobia. I've always thought it was I just hated being gay and I wanted to be a girl as an excuse to be a butt slut so that's like all the erotica I read and all the porn I watched.
But I tried dating a guy once and like I still looked at tg erotica and shit which messes with my head and he just liked normal gay porn and I had no way of explaining why I was doing the stuff I was doing. Plus I never felt a huge attraction to guys I just liked it cause of the way he treated me since it was sort of like I was pampered and stuff lol
Plus my life overall is shit which doesn't help either since I'm just a turbo autist shut in and have zero motivation to do anything in life due to severe anxiety and everything.
I have no way of knowing how to separate the 9000 different issues I have though.

>>7768875
>What has AGP done to the rest of your sexuality?

Elements from my AGP fantasies have leaked into my non-AGP fantasies. I've always been very submissive, but my non-AGP fantasies have been about gentle domination by women and mostly just about following orders and being rewarded for that.

Now my straight fantasies have gotten more extreme and resemble my AGP fantasies. I fantasize about being fucked and handled really roughly by women wearing strapons. I just can't get off to anything expect extreme fantasies anymore.

Probably the most upsetting thing is the whole meta-attraction to men. I don't get turned on by looking at men, but nothing gets me more turned on than the thought of being a pretty girl and having all of my holes filled with cock 24/7.

Now that I've written this out I'm not even sure if I've really answered what you were asking, but I'm still going to post this.

>>7779378

>>Physiologic AGP
>Arousal to having the physiological functions specific to females. I think that's basically just menstruation, pregnancy, and giving birth since males can still lactate.

Yes. But I have lactated, and it was not arousing. In fact I was only worried for my wellbeing. But i do wish i had these other functions. I have a maternal nature. I yearn to give my body to my lover, to carry his seed and nurture its growth. I don't want to be a man who has no direct role in his child's development.

>>Anatomic AGP
>Arousal to having a female body. Very likely to need to transition.

Yes. But i think i have anatomic AAP too. And autoneoteny. I guess it's just straight up autophilia. To put it into words, i like my shoulders, my veins, my muscles, my vtaper. But i also like my lithe petite form, my feminine core. I hate my body hair, i like having long hair, and like my fem/neotenous face. I like my flat chest, or it's not really a concern to me. I don't know if i'd like boobs, but i hate my narrow hips. I'd prefer wide hips and long legs. When it comes to my genitals, i've never felt like it's mine. Like it's my dick only because it's physically attached to me, but it's not me like my foot or my hand or my nose is. It's detached from my mental identity and i've always been obsessive about keeping my bulge hidden. I wish i had female reproductive anatomy so much. But i don't hate my dick because i'm attracted to it. As if it were someone else's. It feels foreign but i love seeing it there from the 3rd person perspective. It's ironic because when i repressed my androphilia as a kid i thought, if you're a boy and like boys, wouldn't you be attracted to your own dick?

Cont...

>>7779378
>>7806793

>>Transvestic AGP
>Arousal to wearing women's clothing. Not likely to need to transition.

Yeah i tried it a few times and i got passively aroused, without even any active fantasizing thoughts, but the arousal quickly passed. So i don't do this and never fapped like that. But i still wish i could wear women's clothing for the styles. They're cute and flarey. Boy's clothing is boring. For me clothing is expression. I guess it's the taboo that makes it arousing in private.

>>Behavioral AGP
>Arousal to doing activities considered feminine.

Yes but it depends. This is like the same as crossdressing isn't it? Initially shaving my pubes would arouse me, but it stops after getting used to it, and then having them there feels worse than removing them feels good. Same thing with armpits and legs. And other feminine beauty grooming as well, like the first time I plucked eyebrows and used skin lotions. After the initial arousal, it stops, but it is still pleasant.

Cont...

>>7779378
>>7806793
>>7806802

>>Interpersonal AGP
>Arousal to the idea of being treated as a woman. Bisexuals dominate this category.

Yes i do, but it has to be in a positive way. I don't like abusive comments or anything i feel was intended to be hurtful. I also have to be attracted to the man it's coming from. And i don't like it coming from women. It hurts being emasculated by women, i want them to see me for my manly side. But at the same time i don't like being forced to be manly with women or anyone. In fact i hate it. I hate conforming to others' expectations. That doesnt mean i don't like feeling manly when it's appropriate. But with men i want to express my femininity, i guess to impress them. I love pleasing men, instinctively, so i've always been submissive, and that's why everyone could tell i was gay even when i thought i wasn't. But no matter how hard i repressed, and tried to be gender conforming, everyone still saw me as feminine/gay for this reason. I also feel a natural resistance to expressing masculinity towards women, and when i force myself to i end up regretting it.

So this is why i'm virgin at 22 even tho i have no problem attracting women. I still don't know if transitioning is right for me, or if i'm just a submissive bisexual numale with an emasculation fetish who has given this too much thought.

>>7806810
>I love pleasing men, instinctively, so i've always been submissive, and that's why everyone could tell i was gay even when i thought i wasn't.
What do you do that gets seen as gay/submissive?

>I also feel a natural resistance to expressing masculinity towards women, and when i force myself to i end up regretting it.
I can see why you feel like a numale. But there might not be much difference between that and some kinds of trans/AGP.

>>7800950
What makes you hate yourself for being like this? Is it shame, as if it's morally bad for you to be trans/AGP or it's your fault somehow, or do you mean that it's just disgusting and wrong to not be female like you should? Working on coping with your feelings on that kind of thing is what a therapist is helpful with.

When you feel dissociated and hate yourself like you do it's easy to wallow in suffering, even want it. I don't know how to explain it, but I've been through it (and continue to go through it, though it's much less severe overall now that I'm transitioning). I guess when parts of you are that disgusting it seems appropriate, like by resigning yourself to suffer you're somehow protesting against the cause of your problems, maybe? That's another thing a therapist is useful for: providing perspective on your feelings and helping you make judgements that aren't clouded by your own clearly distorted mental state. They also make sure you don't give up because of how you feel, and almost force you to keep trying to improve; if you have to keep turning up and have someone help you work on your problems then you're much more inclined to try to make progress.

> I have no idea if I would be happier or not, but maybe?
It's not going to get any better on it's own, not if it's like this. You can't be sure whether you'll be happier if you transition, but it's worth trying, because there are no other ways you could possibly get better. It's fairly likely to at least improve some things, even if that's not enough to make you happy overall. Your body will get more feminine and will no longer become any more masculine, your mental state will change, your sex drive will change. For many people, it brings you closer to feeling like yourself.

>>7807112
>What do you do that gets seen as gay/submissive?
Good question. Pinning it down i'd have to say it's just my mannerisms. The way i physically express myself is seen as gay. Even when i was repressed.

I'll try to give some examples of how this presents itself.

I was bullied for appearing gay and they made fun of the way i talk even tho i didn't think i had a gay lisp. The way i flinched was supposedly gay as well. All those little things like coughing and sneezing i did with feminine manners and had to learn the "right" way because people said i sounded like a girl. I preferred skipping around instead of running as a kid until i learned it was gay but i was still told i ran like a girl.

People assume i'm gay to this day. When i tell them i'm straight they don't seem to believe it. They suspiciously ask why i don't have a girlfriend. I don't know. Maybe i'm just afraid of girls. I'm not out yet, because i'm still getting over homophobia and i'm single. I'm sensitive to societal judgments but people say things like, that outfit makes you look gay and, stop making gay poses. I never felt like i was gay though. I feel different from both gay and straight friends. People say i'm like a girl.

But i don't know if transitioning is right for me, because i think it's unnatural. It's appealing but it's unnatural, and i don't want to change myself in order to succumb to societal pressures. Like i already talk in a high pitched voice when i feel like it, it comes naturally and happens on its own when i'm submissive, and although i used to try to talk in a deeper voice to conform, sometimes a deep voice comes naturally as well. It doesn't make me feel bad as long as it's natural, and i don't want to have to repress that. I know cis girls' voices obviously go deep when it's appropriate too but they don't have the range we do.

But the point is that i don't want to go from repressing my femininity to repressing my masculinity. There has to be another way.

>>7807516
>People say i'm like a girl.
That's just a common thing for teasing or I guess bullying and whatnot. Like "you throw like a girl" doesn't literally mean they think you're a girl and should transition.

>Download face app
>makes me look like attractive woman

>erection
>intense longing.

FML

Makes me want FFS a lot.

On HRT though. I wish there was a cure for AGP

>>7808911
>I wish there was a cure for AGP
I love being AGP but I hate not being a girl.

>>7809138
My life summed up. I've binged on misandrist literature and I consider men superior in every rational respect, but it doesn't matter, it wants to be a girl.

>>7809159
>misandrist
misogynist, lol. No idea how I got THAT mixed up. Maybe it's the subconscious.

>>7809159
>and I consider men superior in every rational respect

Loooool

>>7809159
>>7809167
I wondered what was going on there!

It's a kind of fetishized inferiority I think.

>>7809170
Well, they created nearly everything around me, and certainly 95% of the field I specialise in (Computer Science), and so much more. Art that I enjoy is usually created by men, and so on.

>>7809174
Repression is futile!

>>7809180
>(Computer Science)

Fucking trannies

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>tfw not sure if gay or just so agp I ended up liking men due to feminization fantasies

>>7808911
Same

>>7808911
>>erection

What the flying fuck

>>7809429
where do you think you are

>>7775054
>>7778161
It was basically just saying how do I lessen agp to make it more bearable. Now I'm back to the usual am I trans or just agp thoughts which I know are common but I just hate that feeling that my mind seems to be pulling me in two different directions all the time. I'm sure other people in this thread get that feeling all the time too.

I just want help :(

>>7800538
Better than someone ending their own life.

In my case, if someone tried, it might be kind of exciting because they might not be the one to walk away with their balls intact when I'm done. Knowledge is power.

there's a meme a lot of people believe that young agp trans women are 'failed males' who transitioned because they couldn't succeed in the male gender role, and because cis people don't know shit about the typology or how people's lives vary by age of transition they tend to apply that in turn to all trans women, concluding that olympic decathlete caitlyn jenner is just as much a 'failed male' as the average robot
but /tttt/ does have something pretty weird, which is a lot of young (16-22) agp trans women when the progressive course of agp means even in trans-friendly societies a lot won't transition until midlife. one well-known, well-established fact about agp is that it's in conflict with traditional directed-at-others gynephilia (and gynemimetophilia, with the intense chaser tendencies of a lot of agps), and that the reason so many agp trans women successfully repress for decades was because they were living vicariously through their wives.
but...a lot of /tttt/rannies *were* failed males before they became girls, they were completely incapable of finding a female romantic partner.
does this mean that when there's no gf/gf (male) for an agp to express gynephilia through, she will by necessity transition at a much younger age?

>>7810712
Or that younger-transitioning AGPs experience stronger dysphoria, which makes succeeding as male impossible.

>>7811040
yes, but *why* is that dysphoria stronger? and why do you so rarely encounter (which is not to say you never do) high school football star chads who transition at 19 or autistic >tfw no gf programmers who transition at 60?

>>7811061
No idea, but having girlfriend is definitely not enough to explain that difference. I'm studying comp sci currently and I've never felt the drive to be masculine, so manning up was simply inconceivable and undesirable.
The only way to 'repress' was becoming depressed and withdrawn, to the point of becoming NEET, telling myself I can just kill myself in a few years. Eventually at 22 I realized I may at least try transitioning before that.

>>7811105
you may be attaching different concepts to the relevance of romantic relationships in agp to me
from reading the literature i've found they're so massive a factor that post-op trans women have detransitioned because the woman (cis or trans) they were attracted to was interested in having a male partner -- the competition between gynephilia and autogynephilia can be strong enough to retroactively subdue dysphoria so severe it caused a full transition
and the ultimate dimensional difference i see between earlier and later transitioning agp trans women is their pre-transition romantic success
combining those two facts makes 'the reason people think trans women are 'failed males' is because the 'failed' ones who can't suppress it through a romantic partner have to address it head-on much earlier in life, early enough for those people to see them' make sense
but to someone who doesn't really think being in a relationship is relevant to agp at all, that makes less sense

>>7811121
To me it seems like the divide is between the naturally masculine and non-masculine AGPs, and romantic behavior and success is just the reflection of it.

>>7810712
Being a failed male is more than whether or not you get a girlfriend.

I don't think the classic AGP progression should be treated so dogmatically. There will be lots of factors in it and variety, like how AGP sometimes involves chaser tendencies and how dysphoria intensity varies. Whether AGP progresses, whether an AGP is a failed male and whether living vicariously through a female partner helps repression can all be individual variety.

Younger AGP trans women are simply the ones who have high dysphoria and other traits which didn't lend themselves to repression, including sometimes being failed males who would have been able to repress better with a girlfriend.

>>7811121
But then what's the explanation for AGPs who repress without romantic success or who transition early despite it?

>>7811121
>so massive a factor that post-op trans women have detransitioned because the woman (cis or trans) they were attracted to was interested in having a male partner
So these fuckers will FULL DETRANSITION for a fucking cis woman... but these same fuckers won't stop using anti-androgens for me to keep a functioning dick and grow thicc AND STAY FEMALE. Not only that, they will treat me with contempt for being "chaser".

Trans women are truly the scum of both genders, the worst of both. I think this has "cured" me of my transphilia. (Well, not really. Vagina turns me off.)

>>7811403
Read the post. AGP gynephilia is (allegedly) in competition with AGP. Androphilia on the other hand is an extension of AGP.

>>7811410
I can't. Reading your full post only makes me lost in your narrative.

>Androphilia on the other hand is an extension of AGP.
1. Liking dickgirls isn't androphilia.
2. Gynephilia without autogynephilia is actually sadomasochism.

And that's just the tip of an iceberg of the confusion that reading your posts gives me.

>>7811430
>sadomasochism poster is a chaser

>>7811438
You manage to make less and less sense. Which sadomasochism poster?

Neurologist anon, can you please read this paper and tell me what you think of it?

>>7812331
Oops. Here it is: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4987404/

>>7811403

>wanting to drink your girlfriend's thick, white, cloudy, sticky, smelly cum instead of her effeminate, clear, runny nectar

I don't know, sounds kind of gay to me, man.

can someone explain me the difference between agp and the "classic" crossdresser defenition, when you remove trans thoughts ?

>>7812825
the difference between a crossdresser and agp is about 2 years

>>7768875
> Am I AGP
>Describe your experiences

From age 6 wanted to be a girl.
Prayed/wished on stars to be a girl.
Never happened so I said fuck it.
Age 12 and cousin asks to put makeup on me.
I say no but she does it anyway while I'm asleep.
Everyone has a big laugh but when I wakeup and look in the mirror I am glad.
Crossdressing starts--steal moms/cousins clothes, get deeper and deeper.
Never once jerk to crossdressing (never had jerked yet so I didn't even know it was a possibility to jerk to dressing, but it did get me hard sometimes).
FF age 14, get caught by parents dressing.
"Scared straight" for about a year.
Age 15, can't take it and start again.
This time I realize dressing gets me super hard and I jerk to dressing a lot.
Go like this about 4 years, love to dress, love to jerk when dressed, love to dress again. Sometimes hate it and throw stuff out but mostly love it and amass a good collection of clothes, makeup, etc.
Age 19, get super religious and go on 2-year mission for church, swear off dressing. Feelings never go away, even dress while on mission for church a few times.
Age 21, get home, still staying away from dressing.
Age 22, get married, stay away from dressing.
Age 23, married a while, wife's clothes everywhere--can't take it and break down and I dress up again.
FF age 29, think I'm trans.
FF age 30, I dress up whenever I can, sometimes jerk, usually don't. Believe I'm trans. Want to transition but won't (for the wife and kids).

Don't think I'm AGP but what does /lgbt/ think?

>>7812841
can you develop ?

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>>7768875
Am i agp?
>Like chastity
>Being shaved
>Like wearing panties
>Want to be castrated
>like to serve a man sexually completely submissively.
>A guy once said i was a "good girl" while I was sucking his cock in panties and it turned me on so much. We hadn't said anything about gender other than the fact that i was wearing panties so i wasn't expecting it at all.

>>7813046
>Like chastity
>Want to be castrated
>like to serve a man sexually completely submissively.
>Am i agp?
No, just a pre-op eunuch/masochist.

Any "femininity" featured in your fantasy is coincidental to the fact that patriarchy equates women with slaves.

>>7813046
>continued
Also i realized i just described the fetishy feelings i have... I also feel like i should be female fairly often. I would love to have my dick replaced with a vagina. Less messy and easier for sex than my ass. I also wish so badly that i could get pregnant. I want to have biological children, and raise them with a handsome masculine man. But that's not happening currently as a total fag. (also i realize this clashes with the castration thing. I would freeze sperm until science makes me pregnant or until i can afford a surrogate)
>or until i die alone.

>>7812872
I've always wondered if other agp people have had the thoughts of always wishing and praying they could just magically wake up a girl.
I don't know if it means anything though and since I'm pretty introverted and autistic I sucked at ever mentioning it to anyone let alone my parents.

Your life seems to have gone infinitely better than mine though. I'm 27 and I feel like my entire life has just been worthless. I've done absolutely fuckall since graduating high school, still live with my parents, never had a stable job, depressed as fuck and just drink all the time... I've tried sex but it just doesn't feel right and I have trouble getting aroused even though I can masturbate to tg erotica and feminization stuff just fine. I can't even talk to anyone because my only friends I have I only see like once a month at best and they're mostly just drinking buddies. Not sure if my trans feelings are only around because of the "grass is greener" effect, but I've jerked off to agp stuff and wanted to be magically transformed into a girl for as far back as I can remember into my childhood.

>>7813095
Pardon me, I'm busy eating my beef burgers with testosterone right now. I'll be back later.

>>7773308
you just need a break, i understand you.

thanks for being a caring person!

>>7813095
Alright, I'm back. I guess it's just an extension of your patriarchal (sadomasochistic) idea of femininity. I could be wrong but I think I'm not.

>>7813213
Yeah. I think it could be that too. I always kinda thought it was a mix of multiple things and it's really hard to sort out what is what. Because the feelings i have when im aroused (i described first as fetishy) don't persist when im not horny, but the ones if wanting to have a vagina and have kids and be female persist all the time.

>>7813147
>I've always wondered if other agp people have had the thoughts of always wishing and praying they could just magically wake up a girl.
Since around 11 I think. I didn't pray because I didn't have a religious family and I don't think I even wished really because I knew it wouldn't happen, but I always wanted to.

>Not sure if my trans feelings are only around because of the "grass is greener" effect,
Me too. It's a blurry line between the two.

>>7813147
>I've always wondered if other agp people have had the thoughts of always wishing and praying they could just magically wake up a girl.

Maybe I'm AGP but probably not. The trans feelings have been there since before arousal, and are still here even when not horny/aroused. I'd go full SRS if I had the choice tomorrow and never look back--so again, pretty sure if you have been feeling this way since before puberty that is a tally in the trans side, not the AGP side.

>>7814245
Being AGP doesn't mean you don't get trans feelings the rest of the time, or don't want SRS, or haven't had trans feelings before puberty.

>the trans side, not the AGP side.
Don't fall for the memes. AGP is a kind of trans.

>>7812872

That sounds like you are an AGP tranny.

>>7814306
Except many people describe agp feelings just going away and that there may be an element of porn addiction to it. Hence this entire thread of frustratingly confused people that aren't sure whether they should go full trans or not lol

I've always been worried that it's mainly just porn addiction. When I'm not depressed as fuck my life is alright and I masturbate significantly less, and get 10,000x more things done in my life. When I get depressed I just fap nonstop and can't stop thinking about being trans. Unfortunately I go through major depression at least once a year due to winter and it also kind of comes in waves other times of the year. So overall I don't get a lot accomplished in life, I mostly just sleep and what free time I do get I usually just like to drink alcohol.

>>7814648
>Except many people describe agp feelings just going away and that there may be an element of porn addiction to it. Hence this entire thread of frustratingly confused people that aren't sure whether they should go full trans or not lol
I've never watched porn and even if you ignore me and every other exception to your generalization, what's the supposed connection between that and being questioning?

>>7814690
What do you fap to? Just imagining yourself as a girl?
I'm not saying literally everyone that does agp shit has it go away, but sometimes it does. I've kind of spent my entire life imagining myself as a girl in various fantasies but I have no idea if that counts as being trans.

>>7814738
>What do you fap to? Just imagining yourself as a girl?
Yes, elaborate scenarios where I'm a girl or get turned into a girl.

>I'm not saying literally everyone that does agp shit has it go away, but sometimes it does.
I'd love to know why this happens but I don't think it means AGP is false or can't be a kind of trans. The romantic attraction theory makes sense.

>I've kind of spent my entire life imagining myself as a girl in various fantasies but I have no idea if that counts as being trans.
I think being trans is independent of that. AGP could be considered inherently trans, but the real question for transition is do you have dysphoria too and if so how severely.

>>7814807
>but the real question for transition is do you have dysphoria too and if so how severely.
I don't even understand what dysphoria is. Like I'm alright with my dick but I sometimes fap to the thought of just being flat for the sake of it looking better in clothes, not for vagina reasons.
Plus my body looks horrible just in general so I'm not happy with it because it's not good for either gender. I'm just a hairy auschwitz survivor basically lol
I can't really get off on just wearing clothes, crossdressing basically does nothing for me, but most of the reasons I fantasize about being a girl is for the clothes, it's a bizarre combination.

>>7815071
I'm not very dysphoric and aren't transitioning and am self loathing despite being ok with jerking it in panties. You fit in here.

>>7815206
Gender dysphoria is hating your body for its gender.

AGP comes in different forms >>7779378 and yours is anatomic and not transvestic.

I love the thought of being flat but I like crossdressing too. I just imagine I'm female and don't look in the mirror.

>>7808138
So i'm normal?

>>7768875

New Discord server for transitioning AGPs and AGPs thinking about transitiong. Our main focus is on those who fetishize being trans aka dickgirls, but others are welcome.

https://discord.gg/nz2UBuA

I'm really stuck in a rut now. I've felt a desire to feel/look more feminine ever since puberty and I got into AGP during my mid-teenage years, sometimes even feeling pseudo-gay. There have been times when I have considered transition. After years with this on my mind every day, I decided that even if I am trans, I'm not dysphoric enough for transition to be worth it and convinced myself that being a man is not so bad at all. I forced myself to forget about anything trans related and see how it goes. After 3 weeks, I've started feeling jealousy for women again and dreading becoming masculine in the future. (I'm twink-like with no facial hair and wide hips even though I'm 20, I'm almost sure that I'm low T, I even got a Klinefelter's comment once) I kept getting these intrusive thoughts until I'm back here again.

New thread >>7820594

>>7820617
>old thread has not hit bump limit
>has not fixed OP
delete thread

>>7816142
No idea if you're normal but people saying "you do X like a girl" is basically just people calling you gay/effeminate.

>>7817213
we already have a discord

discord.gg/A8aZNQG

>>7820784
Isn't the bump limit 300?

>>7817213
>>7820818
Is there somewhere for AGPs who aren't transitioning?

>>7820826
310

and now we need this thread to hit page 9 or 10

>>7820842
here and the original discord welcomes all AGPs. i think it's natural though that the most dysphoric ones end up finding their way here

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>>7769275
>AGP
>passing
>ever