/acegen/ - Asexual General, we somehow make it work Edition

So, today's ISAD, or International Singles Awareness Day, the one day a year everyone who is single is made painfully aware of this fact.

I realized that I had not spoken to my Companion for over a year, mostly because RL stuff has gotten in the way.

Oddly enough, today I watched a show where the lead realized that she hadn't spoken to her old friends since she moved to a new town and tries to reconnect with them.

So, how is everyone else doing?

Shit forgot to ask before I submitted my previouis post.

Do we have a Discord?

>>7752893
What happened to the last thread?
404'd without even being archived.

>>7753931
Yippee, the day to reflect on all mistakes that left me without anybody! Thanks, Hallmark!

>>7753936
I don't believe so, no

>>7754339
Clearly it was taken down

>>7752893
Am I asexual? Normally I think I'm bi but gay-leaning (I'm male btw), but I really can't get hard from any porn or sexual thoughts no matter whether they're with men or women.

>>7754436
But why though.
Are we still not past the "Ace people don't belong here" bullshit?

>>7754455
If you can't get an erection, I'd seriously recommend getting your hormones checked. Asexuality is just a sexuality, it shouldn't result in loss of physical functionality.

>>7754545
If enough people report a thread I think it gets pruned automatically, which is probably what happened. So yes, we aren't yet past that.

>>7754561
Gosh dang it.

How can someone who spend their lives seeking validation because they truly feel one way turn around and get angry at someone else who is trying to do the same thing?

I just want to be able to talk with fellow aces since talking to normal people about it feels like talking to a brick wall, and actually finding a fellow ace irl is so ridiculously rare.

Is that so much to ask?

>>7753936
>>7754436
https://discord.gg/htMRtwT
Don't know if there was another one but I don't remember the last time I saw a discord link, and there's not one posted on any of the ace subreddits.
There's an IRC channel, but I personally prefer discord so yeah.

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>>7752893
Fuck.

>>7755666
Since when did we have an IRC? I suggested we do it a while back but got no interest

>>7755666
>>7757705
Reread, I'm an idiot

Are you talking about a Reddit ace IRC? Why don't we just form our own non-cancer one?

>>7754587

>How can someone who spend their lives seeking validation because they truly feel one way turn around and get angry at someone else who is trying to do the same thing?

See: African-Americans being racist towards newer immigrants.

I take the view that even though our experiences are different to most of the Rainbow, we do share common ground when it comes down to it.

The acidity of the Rainbow towards Aces has lead to me trying to come up with alternate terms for some of the Rainbow Terms. Apart from the less embarrassing submarine terms ("silent running" or "stealth mode" to mean "closeted" and "crush depth" to mean "heavily closeted"), the only one I'm proud of is "Companion."

I like "Companion" because it gives the people who help you stave off Ace Malaise a title that isn't as loaded as "partner"

>>7757709
Yeah I was.

And I don't think they're /that/ bad, although yes there is probably going to be a fair amount of stuff like demisexuality or whatever.
I don't agree with them, but don't forget who we are. As aces we are pretty much jokes to most people and the reason we're "asexual" is apparently for every reason under the sun as to why we're not actually ace.

So sure, stuff like demis may seem questionable to us, but shouldn't we extend the same courtesies to them that we just want from the general population?

>>7758205
Admittedly we will have somewhat different experiences, as a lot of the shit the general lgbt community receives is based on their sexuality.
All that really happens with us is we just don't get taken seriously, but the main community gets a whole heap of shit. It's a lot harder to discriminate against us, so of course we'll end up with different experiences.
I still don't see how you can just be so hostile toward people who want the same as you. It just seems so hypocritical and shallow. Is it some kind of resentment?
>There are people who want me dead because I love my boyfriend and I'm a man, what the fuck are you complaining about?


>Partner vs companion
With partner you get to pretend you're a cowboy though. That's kinda neat.

Do asexuals want kids, too? What about marriage?

>>7761892
Depends on the person.

But the main issue is just that aces don't like sex and/or don't have sexual desires, so some aces might have issues with conceiving or finding a partner comfortable with their asexuality.

>>7761954
What are your personal thoughts on this?

>>7761892
I don't want kids, no. But I'd definitely marry someone if they stole my heart

>>7762238
I don't have sexual interests, but I think that if I was in a relationship with someone who wanted sex, I'd oblige them.
I'd let them know that since I'm ace it'll seem like I'm not particularly interested or in to it, but that it's nothing personal.

As you can probably guess by the above, if the person I'm in a relationship with wants kids, or it'd make them happy to get married, I believe that I'd oblige them, albeit after a lot of discussion due to how much more significant those decisions are than just sex.

The way I see it, if I'm with someone that really likes me despite the fact that I'm ace, and if there's chemistry, then I could see myself loving that person to bits.

Aces aren't just robots with no human emotion. All we are are people that have an aversion to sex/lack sexual attraction.
I want someone to grow old and be happy with. I just don't particularly *want* to have sex with them that's all.

bingo anon here
updated the bingo sheet
tell if I should change anything else

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>>7763375
my dumbass forgot the sheet

>>7761892

Kids, yes and no.

I wouldn't mind adopting a kid. I don't want to create one of my own genes. I had considered donating sperm for anyone who was silly enough to want a child with Autistic potential, but I wanted absolutely no contact with the child, not even after they reach their majority and want to know who their sire was.

As for Marriage, no. I think that there is no difference between a married couple and a couple who have been together for a long amount of time. The only difference is a massive party that costs too much and the money could be used for something far more permanent, like a deposit on a house.

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>>7763377

Fucking asexuals.

Yeah, yeah, you don't like sex. Stop complaining, nobody in the whole world gives a single shit about it.

>>7766080
Check off the square, everyone.

>>7761892
I would like to be married someday but I do not want kids. I want to basically be the "cool aunt" for my siblings and that's as far as I would like to go.

>>7766437
dumb question but how do I play bingo

>>7766080 Thanks for contributing to this thread, but I think you've missed the point. The point isn't just this circlejerk about the fact we don't want sex. The point is many of us are here to complain the unfairness we are like we are and share our teary experiences in the wide world.

>>7766449
>The point is many of us are here to complain the unfairness we are like we are
so you actually don't like being asexual? like you get the sense that you'd like to experience what others do when it comes to physical attraction? (I know you can still find people pretty, handsome, etc)

or is it more that you don't like being asexual in a very sexual world?

>>7766444
For an actual game of bingo, a group of people have different squares that have different placement and set of numbers. For example, if you and I both had our own bingo sheets, we may share numbers but they will most likely not be in the same position. This is so numerous people don't win at the same time.

To play, a person calls out numbers for the rest of the group to mark off on their sheets until one has filled a row/column/diagonal row.

But for this sheet, there are no different players. It's mostly for fun or a joke.

Hope that helps.

>>7765975
you forgot to check off the hormones one. Also, when did we talk about oppression in this thread?

Does it count as asexual if for me, sexual attraction is a regular part of becoming close friends with someone but I never want to actually participate in penetrative sex?
Tumblr wants to label me but I want to know what you have to say

>>7766467
With most people it tends to be the latter.

Particularly for those that do not like sex it becomes really hard to find someone, and it gets super lonely watching everyone you know find someone and settle down, but you're just sat there knowing it'll never really happen to you.

>>7766486
goddammit man, it's in the OP for fuck's sake.

>>7766467 It's the first one for me. I'd love to experience the same thing as most others.

I'd just love to feel The Love. Being sort of a self-hating asexual, lurking here on /lgbt/ fits me so much better than browsing that hugbox called Tumblr. No, I'm not really feeling The Pride or searching for recognition.

>>7766521
everyone check off the box

>>7766538 This is just another reason I love /acegen/ - unlike Tumblr, which tries to smother all of us to think the same, on 4chan there is AN ENTIRE BINGOSQUARE dedicated to people like me. /acegen/ teaches that unlike it usually feels like, I'm not the only self-hating asexual in the world and certainly not the last one.

>>7766500
What the actual fuck is "sensual attraction" and why is it ace
Serious question

>>7766651
Sensual attraction isn't ace. The picture is simply explaining different types of attraction.

Also, it's explain the picture so I don't know why you're asking me.

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>>7766449
it is literally a pointless circlejerk.

>>7766521
>>7766623
fucking tumblerfaggot and reddit cancer, please leave.

>>7766490
I never got this meme. So, you want to be in a relationship, when the other person provides you with comfort, support, time shared, good emotions, etc. but you can't give sex in exchange because you don't have the desire for it? Talk about being a selfish prick! ME-ME-ME!
Relationships should be about giving and receiving. Sometimes we have to do things we don't want, that's life. You know what I don't like doing? Washing dishes, yet I do it every single day because I don't want to live in a rat and roaches infested shithole, for example.

>>7767082
>I don't have sexual interests, but I think that if I was in a relationship with someone who wanted sex, I'd oblige them.
>I'd let them know that since I'm ace it'll seem like I'm not particularly interested or in to it, but that it's nothing personal.
>As you can probably guess by the above, if the person I'm in a relationship with wants kids, or it'd make them happy to get married, I believe that I'd oblige them, albeit after a lot of discussion due to how much more significant those decisions are than just sex.
>The way I see it, if I'm with someone that really likes me despite the fact that I'm ace, and if there's chemistry, then I could see myself loving that person to bits.
>Aces aren't just robots with no human emotion. All we are are people that have an aversion to sex/lack sexual attraction.
>I want someone to grow old and be happy with. I just don't particularly *want* to have sex with them that's all.

You clearly have beef with aces, who hurt you?

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>>7767226
Great attitude, you are not like the other person that said he/she couldn't be in a relationship because they didn't want sex. You are actually saying you support what I just said, you would have sex with them so they can enjoy it. I think you will find that someone you are looking for in time.

>>7767283
You mean >>7766490 ?
That was me, and I stand by it since some aces just cannot have sex for various reasons, which is what makes it so hard for them since they pretty much have to find a fellow ace.
It's not fair to deprive someone of sex if it's something they care about, and most aces know that, and it pretty much rules out non aces as potential partners.

Hell, even as someone who is open to having sex being open about being ace results in a lot of turned off people and a very limited dating pool.
Some people view it as a red flag or a deal breaker, and every time I've come out about it to someone I was seeing, no matter how well the relationship was going or how good the chemistry was on dates, all of a sudden they lose interest.

And it's not something you can just hide either, since it's not fair on the other person.

So yeah, being ace really limits how you can enter in to relationships, and to say otherwise is silly.
It's not right to hide it, so you have to be upfront about it but when people know you're ace then that is rather offputting.
>They say they're ok with sex if I want it but how can I trust things won't change, what happens if they stop saying yes to me and we just end up never having sex? Whatever, this isn't worth the risk, I'm out.
>They say they're ace but are ok with sex, isn't that contradictory? Are they just full of shit? Probably is, welp better get out.
>They're too open about their sexuality too early on, that's creepy, I'm out.
>How can there be romance without sexual attraction? I'm out.

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>>7767401
>some aces just cannot have sex for various reasons
Name 5.

Also, ever thought that people don't want to date you not because you are ace, but because of who you are as a person? Maybe they just think you are a horrible person on the inside, or ugly. I am not saying you are, since I don't know you. I am saying maybe all that analysis that you are getting for being an ace is wrong.

>>7767437
1. Sensory disorders - Some people process touch in an abnormal fashion. I'm one, albeit to a much milder degree than others with the condition having experienced therapy to help me desensitise so I don't want to cry anymore when touched. When being touched makes you terribly uncomfortable, that association with intimacy makes sex unattractive.
2. Dysphoria related issues - I personally know a few trans aces that can't get intimate since it reminds them that biologically, they aren't women.
3. Abuse survivors - Similar to 1, when you naturally associate sex with negative feelings, in this case due to traumatic sexual experiences, sex is not attractive.
4. Physical conditions that make sex unattractive or tricky - Impotency, some women experience significant pain during PIV sex, etc

Can I name a fifth? No. There may be one that I'm unaware of, but that doesn't change the fact that the four listed are very real, very serious issues that make intimacy very tricky.

Does the lack of a fifth reason change the fact that an ace transwoman I'm friends with tried to kill herself after sex one time because the fact that it reminded her about how she had male genitalia?
Does it change the fact that I'd break down crying when I was touched? That was inconvenient in trying to have sex.

>inb4 "This proves you're not actually asexual, you just have repressed sexuality issues."


>It's you, not the fact that you're ace.
Like I said, before I was open about it I had numerous successful(ish) relationships. After coming out as ace things would take a turn for the worse and the relationship would die. Nothing changed except them knowing I was ace, so it's a pretty clear relationship.

>>7767437 Hey, >>7766623 here. In addition to being sex-repulsed (I just cannot imagine myself even fulfilling a partner's desires), I am very conscious to the fact I'm unable to stay in a serious relationship, even sexless one.

It's probably just the introvert hidden inside of me, but just seeing someone regularly ends up turning into a heavy obligation in my mind and then, in the end, it turns to avoidance.

Since I know there just cannot be selfish relationships where you see your partner 'when you feel like it', I'm pretty sure I'm better off just spreading my bad feelings around. Isn't that what 4chan is for? At least I don't have to rant like this in real life - I don't want to be THAT asexual.

>>7766675
IM VERY CONFUSED BY SEX

>>7767582
>trans aces
Will the memes ever end?

>the four listed are very real
Actually you didn't list a single one. You listed reasons why you might not want to have sex, but none of those actually get in the way of you physically having sex. It goes back to what I was saying in >>7767082

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>>7767582
>Nothing changed except them knowing I was ace

So, they didnt know at the start... you basically sprung your sex aversion to them and thought they would roll with it?

You pulled a bait and switch, a lie by omission. You, my friend, are a manipulative liar and those people were well and right to drop you on your ass rather than suffer a life without intimacy along side you.

>>7767971
>You didn't list a single one.
???
So extreme dysphoria to the point where the person involved wants to kill themselves isn't a good enough reason to not have sex?
There's literally another thread >>7766448 , where the OP's dysphoria is so bad that they had to be restrained because otherwise they would have cut off their penis. I'm not saying they're actually asexual as I don't know them, but it's certainly a very real reason that stops someone from getting intimate.

>Trans aces ecks dee
Why not? They're not mutually exclusive identities. Unless you believe that all Trans' are AGPs/AAPs and in it purely because they fetishise transitioning, but that's incorrect.
The fact that I personally know couple of transwomen who are ace proves that it's a thing.

>>7768007
Did I say I expected them to be ok with it?
I didn't intend to mislead them, and it was tough to tell come out about it and tell them, but I don't resent them for breaking up with me.
>You wanted them to have a life without intimacy.
Except I've already said that my attitude is that if they want sex, I'm open to it since it'll make them happy. I told them that, and I honestly meant it.
Maybe you're right and it was simply the fact that I wasn't honest from them since the start.
Either way I'm open about it now from minute one, as it's not worth the trouble to get attached to someone, tell them and have them leave.

>>7768389
Holy shit, you are insufferable. No wonder people don't want to date you.

You guys are really easy to bait it looks like

>>7768588
Ok frogposter.

You've literally come in here looking for a fight and are just attacking people and refusing to actually discuss your beef with aces.

We're not hurting you. Would you mind just leaving us alone?

>>7765961
I agree, marriage is far too commercialized. If I ever get married, it's for tax benefits; there won't be a ceremony, no diamond ring.

>>7768632
Yeah, we have a bunch of fucking idiots. I try to herd the fish away from the bait and deal with it myself when I'm around for it since I'm used to reading the usual garbage on tumblr.

>>7768653
Nig, how about instead of saying "leave us alone" you just don't reply?

>>7769263
Ok boss.

>>7754455
>>7766521
>>7767082

We're getting close

>>7768632

>You guys are really easy to bait it looks like
I should add that to the bingo sheet

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>>7769320

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>>7766485

Took it as a "discussion about oppression", which started >>7754587 here

Also,
>OMG why are you complaining?" >>7766080
> "Woe is me" >>7766521
> Beef >>7767082

Unsure if >>7768588 qualifies as "you just can't find anyone to fuck you"

The new bingo card is great

>>7767970
IF YOU ARE SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO THEM YOU ARE NOT ASEXUAL

>>7772622
How do I know if I'm sexually attracted to someone or just still conditioned by my abusers to react to intimacy sexually

>>7772640
If you think it's sexual attraction it probably is.

>>7772640
what >>7772662
said, sounds like you are thinking too hard about it. now if it makes you have flashbacks then it's trauma but if you just enjoy it then just enjoy it.

>>7766486
How would you describe this "sexual attraction" you experience? Why exactly do you not want to have penetrative sex?

>>7771773
There should be a "READ THE OP" square. Maybe replace it with "demisexual" since that shit got swept out of the threads

>>7773523
Stop trying to make demisexual happen.
It isn't a real thing.

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>>7773673
>saying a thing on the bingo sheet got swept out of the threads = "I want to keep this thing around"

The very idea of sexual intercourse is a turn-off for me.

>>7773344
I want to be with them and cuddle and be intimate and kiss and sleep next to them
But I don't want to have "sex"

>>7774878
>I don't want sexual intimacy.
Well done, you're ace. Was that super complicated?

What's so hard about this?
If you don't experience sexual attraction, you're asexual.
If you experience sexual attraction, you're not asexual.
If you "sorta" feel sexual attraction, you're not asexual.

>have no libido
>look guys I'm oppressed xD! I'm literally dying
>trump is out to kill me for not having sex lmao

this is you

>>7774878
Describing me exactly as well. I wish it was easier to find people like this

>>7774954
Who are you quoting?

>>7775004
>don't-a-take-a-the-bait

>>7762303
this is how i feel

>>7767082
it would be like asking a straight man to have gay sex. its a bigger compromise than you might think.

>>7774933
>What's so hard about this?
The fact that neither term seems to accurately describe how I feel, and most tumblr terms are inane and nondescriptive
I'd like to just say I'm broken and have it be over with but even that is unsatisfying

I like being ace. Idk.

>>7753931
Gonna piss in the ocean of piss here and say I'm lonely too. I wouldn't say I regret the sacrifices I've made -- honestly, I'd rather call them choices but it's hard not to feel stranded sometimes.

I never expected to "make it" as an artist, or, well, an anything. I never would've wanted the nice car or big house to begin with. Kids? Fuck no. Never. I love the house I've built, I love my dogs, I love my garden and I love that I can easily live comfortably un sub 5k.

It's great. I don't have to apologize for shit, I don't have to work with asshole clients, I travel when and where I want to... you know what I did yesterday? I spent all day soaking in the sun on my porch in a hammock with my corgi and a case of beers while I noodled on the ukulele. That's it! Whole day. It's fucking great. My whole life is an extended vacation.

Fucking shit does it get lonely, though. Mostly at night. :\

>>7780421
Do what I do and get a medium sized cuddly toy.

It makes nights a fair amount less lonely.

>>7782573
>tfw giant teddy arriving on Tuesday
Not him but I'm actually really excited for it, probably more than I should be

>>7782685
Giant teddies are great.

You're right to be excited, it's so nice to get in bed and cuddle with them as you fall asleep.

>>7777150
Same, but it has its downsides. Not being lewd is both nice and a curse

Bump. I don't wanna have to check off the "dies from lack of activity" box, it's sad.

>>7790648
I'm going to claim a name now simply to occasionally have one to have one. Probably won't continue to use it.

I'd post but I have nothing to post about, and I'm sure the same applies to many here

>>7782573
>>7782685
>>7782702
Fuck, I should get a giant teddy. But I'm also concerned what others will think of me because I'm a guy and sometimes have friends over. Fuck society.

>>7791556
Have a hiding spot for him if you can and order a good size that can be hidden. I have a couch in my room with a back thats on an angle like | \ towards a wall, and I'll be putting him back there

>>7791556
Who cares what people think?

After all as an ace you don't exist so how can you disappoint them?
Checkmate.

Here's mine https://www.amazon.co.uk/Large-Teddy-Plush-Cuddly-Loving/dp/B01GWYJUVW/ref=pd_rhf_sc_p_img_3?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=11AP9TSWTYBBMWTQ10JM

Also yeah you can hide them if you really want. Or if people do see it say that it was from your childhood and you have it because nostalgia. That works for everything else like pokemon and shitty cartoons, don't see why a "special" teddy would be any different.

>>7791819
I went huge for

http://www.giantteddy.com/60in-life-size-panda-bear-precious-xiong/

5 foot panda cuddles coming up tomorrow, still excite >>7782685

>>7792136
can I come over for a cuddle fest

>>7792149
Yeah fly over to Illinois I have a big enough bed for it

>>7792176
That's half the world away though D:

>>7792136
>$140
Jeeeesus that's a lot for a cuddleable object. Better be worth it.

>>7792197
May I recommend staying in whatever part of the world you're in that isn't the US until a later date at which shit isn't hitting the fan?

>>7791577
Yeah I don't have any hiding spots, sadly. Currently I have this small pillow I'll sometimes hug tightly as I fall asleep but that's the best I can do

>>7791819
>Or if people do see it say that it was from your childhood and you have it because nostalgia. That works for everything else like pokemon and shitty cartoons, don't see why a "special" teddy would be any different.
That's a fair suggestion. I'll keep that in mind.

>>7792989
I had a coupon, it was like $118 in the end. Still expensive but I hope well worth it.

>>7793022
But hey, that's still nearly 20% savings. Ain't bad whatsoever. That's enough to buy some tissues to wipe up your tears with :'^)

>>7792136
Holy shit, did it arrived yet? You're living the dream anon

>>7796322
Oh yes it has. Such a tiny vacuum sealed box compared to what was inside! imgur because I know people who browse this board, would rather not have it pop as a thumbnail

http://imgur.com/7CFNxcG

>>7796900
Oh god it's hugs

Also, fuck, I lost what my tripcode was at >>7791556

Testing something out.

>>7782573

I'm considering getting a blank body-pillow and working out how to make a cover out of it out of different feeling materials.

Right now, I'm using an overstuffed normal pillow.

>>7796900
Shit. That's amazing.

>>7796958
huge*. It's huge*
hugs works too though

>>7752893

Why is "Sexless relationship" offensive to an Ace when pretty much by definition EVERY relationship with an ace is going to be "sexless"? Let's not find offense when it's not even there.

>>7796900
Is he made of plastics?

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Tell me about your squishes, fellow acefriends

>>7799142
Well not necessarily.
Some aces are ok with sex, just aren't particularly keen on or actively want it.

Some aces are ok with having sex with their partner since making their partner happy makes them happy, and some aces have aversions towards sex which lead to relationships which have little to no sex.

>>7799282
Nope, no plastic at all except for the eyes maybe. Completely fluffy material

>>7799926
Material could be polymers, ie plastics. Double check.

>>7799142
Because the term as used by allosexuals has a connotation of indicating a failed or disappointing relationship.

>>7799142
It's not offensive. I made that bingo sheet to make fun of the typical things that happen or are said in the thread

>>7802891
lol wut. Please tell me you don't really think that term is offensive.

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>tfw the only canon aroace character you like is currently being shipped with other characters by horny teenage girls and the writers are completely ignoring their sexuality

Riverdale makes me sad and the only way I'm gonna be able to watch it is by ignoring the entire fandom and sitting in my own little cave

>>7803255
I don't think it's a big deal, just that I could understand why some aces might find the term condescending.

>>7803323
Eh, it's not the end of the world.
Shippers will put any two things together which pleases them, whether it's canon heterosexuals, homosexuals, sworn enemies, etc
A 15 year old who decides to draw an ace character is no more of a threat to the ace community than one who decides to ship something like McHanzo or Sherlock and Moriarty.
It doesn't change who they actually are, so if you look up to them, great. Don't let some horny smut writer take it away from you, because the character is still who you fell in love with and idolised.

>>7803426
I know it's not the end of the world, it just makes me slightly annoyed to see people do it, ya know? You think tumblr would be a bit better about that shit but then they only care about gay and trans people

>>7803461
why would they care about us we don't exist duh

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>>7803500

>>7799501
Squishies? What is that?

I found out yesterday that my sexuality is described as demisexual. Is that some form of asexuality?
How will I ever find someone who is ok with not having sex for the first few months of our relationship :'(

>>7805238
Demisexual is snowflake tier dude

>>7805238
>some form of asexuality
It's not a category anon.
>How will I ever find someone who is okay with not having sex for the first few months of our relationship?
They aren't fuckig sex machines. You'll be fine.

>>7805222
http://lmgtfy.com/?q=Squish+urbandictionary

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>>7805238
>demisexual
please tell me how "not having sexual attraction until [insert situation here]" is asexual. Because you can honestly say that having a fetish is asexuality at that point.

>>7799961
Whats wrong if it ends up being polymer or plastic? So far no materials on their website

>>7809171
I'm not the anon that asked if it's plastics, I'm just saying it isn't necessarily not synthetic and to not be so quick to assume.

It's probably on a tag

i was tempted to let this gen die and let the square be checked
you faggots need to post more conversational shit

>>7813891
My life is conversational shit

Unrelated, I've come down with something and for some reason alongside shivering when it's 21°C/70°F out and having a shitty headache and a generally achy body, somehow my brain manages to decide to be mildy horny. What the fuck? Anyone else ever experience this?

I'm not asking because asexuality, as that should be irrelevant here, but rather because we need something to talk about and we've all been sick before

Tell me about your cuddlefriends /acegen/

>>7814133
Mine is also one of my best regular friends. She likes old movies and old Vidya and works in HR. We watch a lot of movies together. Plus she's thicc so there's a lot to cuddle

>>7814133
Last time I had a cuddlefriend, it turned out that he was looking for sex and I didn't understand because we lacked communication skills.

Now I just assume that any person of the opposite sex that wants to be my friend doesn't actually want to be my friend and I'm tempted to just shave off my hair and wear frumpy clothes for the rest of my life so I never have to deal with this shit again.

>>7814437
I'd imagine it's a lot harder to find someone to cuddle with if you're a gal. Maybe a gay friend?

>>7814763
Yeah no, I'll just stick with non humans

>>7752893
get out

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>>7815328
only if you say the magic words

>>7753931
>I realized that I had not spoken to my Companion for over a year, mostly because RL stuff has gotten in the way.
this is such incredibly stupid shit.

>>7763635
>Because friendships can be just as fulfilling. If not more. [sic]
pfft, lol.

>>7815365
eh, different strokes. Some times literally.

>>7766449
>The point is many of us are here to complain the unfairness we are like we are and share our teary experiences in the wide world.
you're unfuckable AND you want people to feel sorry for you? Asexuality isn't even a "thing".

>>7815388
Please be sorry us non-existent folks. We live in the Upside Down.

>>7815404
>"Hi /lgbt/! I'm asexual and I don't have a sexuality or want to have sex. What should we talk about?!?"

GET THE FUCK OUT.

>>7815419
we can't the demogorgon will find us

>>7768653
>Would you mind just leaving us alone?
that's our line. you don't belong here.

>>7815482
How can we be here if we don't exist?

>>7815490
because you're not /lgbt/? These arguments of yours is as impotent as you.

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>>7815506
>they really think I'm arguing

Anyway, another topic for the acegen:
Does anyone vidya here?

>>7815515
In true "ace" form, are you just talking to yourself this whole thread?

>>7815540
Man, I hope not. But that explains the small amount of shit I've done over the past few days. At this point, it's probably me, some other anons, and a strong breeze from a nearby window hitting a keyboard and sometimes pressing the enter key. The breeze has a 4chin pass because it invested in the stock market.

>>7815564
Kek
>>7815515
Yea, I've been playing l4d2 pretty frequently, wbu?

>>7815515
Overwatch and DoTA. I'm trying to catch up to my friends in dota to unlock Ranked play, but its going to take so incredibly long that its demotivating

>>7815515
Nowadays I pretty much just play Rocket League. It's all I really have time for.

>>7815564
This tbhdesu

>>7815564
Woosh

>>7767082
Sex is supposed to be enjoyable for both partners, if it isn't, then something is seriously wrong for the relationship. You'd be honestly better off just masturbating or getting a prostitute, than fucking someone who isn't interested it in. Besides, my friends and family support me without thinking I owe them sex, so I don't see why a romantic partner would think I owe them sex.

>>7767971
>Actually you didn't list a single one. You listed reasons why you might not want to have sex, but none of those actually get in the way of you physically having sex. It goes back to what I was saying in >>7767082
There's no thing that ``physically gets in the way" of people working 16 hours a day doing back-breaking labor in the mines, either. But since joining a relationship is voluntary, one should not be expected to remain in a relationship which consistently requires them to do things they don't want, when they have other ways of getting those same benefits WITHOUT having to do those things. It's simple economics.

>>7772622
Sexual attraction is very poorly defined though.

>>7815482
Yeah, like one ace general thread is really harming the board.

>>7820591
Shhhhhh don't feed them. Only meme them.

>>7817785
Is Rocket League still good? I thought it was going to be one of those fad games that comes and goes with streamers.

>>7822130
Rocket League was never bad. It's wonderful because there's no skill ceiling. You can always improve, and when you do you open yourself up to greater and greater competition. It's like crack. I love it.

Even for the pros, they are always improving.

It gets even better when you find people to regularly play with. You find new things you can do with them, or at the very least you can just play with them for shits and giggles.

>>7820591
To piggyback on the "like one ace general thread is really harming the board"...
>>7815482
We're also a bit of a containment thread. Though people do still sometimes post asexual-related threads, I feel we still manage to contain at least some of it.

>>7822130
But yeah probably should just meme them. I suck at memeing though so I prefer to try to be logical more often than not, although the success of that relies upon them having rational responses as well.

>>7824164
The reason I'm saying that is if you try to debate with them, it doesn't end well. Trust me, I've been doing this gen for quite awhile. I don't care if you think logic is going to win.

High chance is that you will fail, the person will stay, and you and the person just shat up the general with idiotic rambling.

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>>7815515
Yeah, mostly fighting games. As of right now I'm playing Guilty Gear Xrd and the stuff from the Freedom Humble Bundle.

>>7824183
I've been here for quite awhile, too. I'm aware logic won't always win, as I said with
>although the success of that relies upon them having rational responses as well

Shitting up the gen also means keeping it alive. As such, I also like to sometimes respond with a "thanks for the bump btw".

Wait a minute, what if I can't come no matter how hard I masturbate or what porn I watch? I haven't came in 6 years. Is it hyposexuality or asexuality? I can't tell.
I guess it helps to say that I suffer from autism and schizophrenia too.

>>7825641
That sounds like something you talk with a doctor

>>7825641
That sounds like non-libidoism, possibly but not neccessarily caused by excessively low testosterone.

I just found out about asmr and I finally get how people can fully enjoy all parts of porn

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>>7752893
piggybacking attention whoring mentally ill scum. neck yourselves.

>>7828065
Scotsman, if you wanted me to let you cross the bridge, all you had to do was ask politely.

I used to think I was asexual... turned out I was just lonely and had a hormone problem. I'm bi now.

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>>7828613
Good for you, anon! I hope you're having a great life since you found out about your hormonal problem.

May I ask how the loneliness factored into your idea of being asexual? It sounds like you had the wrong definition of asexuality but I may have just misinterpreted your post.

>tfw no ftm ace friends
destroy me senpai

>>7828802
>tfw no ace friends

>>7828629
Well I was (am) depressed, and that made me push people away. Combine that with having a low sex drive and it led to me being unable to form meaningful sexual and romantic attractions.

>>7829110
Really? Two of my best friends are asexual, and I know two others who are apparently ace too.
>tfw they're all female.
I'm starting to believe ace males do not exist tbqh famalamadingdong.

>>7829121
I'm an ace male... though you're right most aces are women. I have no idea why

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For the most part, I was never sexually attracted to anyone. I had a GF for a good 5 years that ended years ago, since sex was always a big issue since I was never really into it.

After a messy break up I went straight back into the dating pool. It's a miserable experience, filled with people who don't know what they want or those who are too specific with what they do want and they end up caught up with their fantasies.

This one date I straight up ate pussy for a good 40 minutes and almost went into intercourse when some inconvenient shit happened with house mates coming home early. It was never for my pleasure though; I had always enjoyed pleasuring a partner more.

Later I'd come to realize that I never really enjoyed sex to being with. It's just a means to an end, really. For me, it's a favor to get people to like me. It made me feel normal in a society where wanting and having sex is considered normal. The act is an attempt to make me feel accepted, in that people find me attractive enough to loosen their belt and let me shove my stick in their hole. To me, sex partners ended up being trophies that I can show my normie friends that tells to them, " look, I'm normal, I'm at least attractive to someone out there enough for them to want to have sex with me. This is proof of my masculinity, I hope it positively influences your impression of my character."

>decide I'm ace
>seek out ace community
>for the most part its dead as shit except for a few blogs
no wonder my lgbt friends are really into their own identity community, finding people and content I can relate to leads to sweet blissful confirmation and dick stroking

>>7829121
Ace male here too. I have another male ace friend, though I suspect it's really just his crippling anxiety (and I am not exaggerating, it is actually absolutely crippling anxiety).

>>7829763
Welcome to the depressing reality that is life as an asexual person, don't forget to buy a thick coat someone soon because it gets really cold and bleak.

>>7829465
>>7830275
Really? What's it like being an ace male? I feel like you guys would have more pressure to have sex than I would. Though, people just mostly assume I'm having sex anyways.

>>7830467
Am >>7830275
Just about everyone assumes you're lying for one reason or another. Could be that you're lying in order to get into someone's pants, or (the one all of us know) for attention, or whatever. The first reason there also makes it really hard to find a cuddle buddy. People assume you're lying in order to get into bed with them, and that once cuddling has commenced you'll make a move on them. What doesn't help your case is having a penis. If you're still a teenager (I'm 19) you've of course got the issue where boners can and will pop up out of nowhere. And if that happens while cuddling, oops. There goes any hope of them believing you. And then there's the people who don't believe you but want to get into your pants, so during cuddling *they* make a move, expecting you to reciprocate. Because of course, guys that want to "cuddle" are actually just looking for sex. Surely no guy likes to *just* cuddle. Guys always want sex, there must be a hidden motive!

Also, guys of course tend to make a lot of sex jokes. That's pretty stereotypical behavior. I have fun making sex jokes around my friends, but I've gotten comments about it because apparently I'm not supposed to make them because I'm asexual.

There's also, of course, parents dropping comments about grandchildren. I have two brothers but it's looking like neither is going to have kids (once is a sperg and will probably scare most people away, the other seems to have a thing for mtfs so he's probably closet gay), so my parents see me as the one who will be most likely to settle down with some girl and have kids. Since I've come out to them I haven't gotten too many comments along those lines, but some. Then again, this is probably something female aces share as well, but I'm going to leave it in here.

I'm kinda ranting. Basically I would say it's probably similar to being a female ace, with some differences coming from simply being the opposite sex.

Oh, I forgot anything about female friends.

>>7830681
Male friends: it seems my male friends accept it quite easily. Probably helps that if they assume I'm just lying for attention, they'd assume I'm really just straight so I wouldn't be trying to get into their pants anyway.

Female friends, on the other hand, not so much. It's a safe assumption for them to assume that any guy that tries to befriend them is probably straight (as that is the norm, after all), so they're wary of guys in general trying to befriend them out of fear of the guy really just trying to get into their pants. Issue is that if they assume I'm lying, they also may make the assumption that I'm lying in order to get their gaurd down to make it easier to get into their pants. It can be hard to gain their trust.

I once had a close female friend whose trust I had gained. I stayed over at her house a few times (she lived with her parents, because again: teenagers). Her dad was convinced that I was lying in order to get with her. We ended up getting close and experimenting a bit. We've since parted ways, and I can't help but think she probably now thinks I was lying even though there were many, many, many cases of things that came up that she commented made me come off as "blatantly asexual", such as being completely and utterly clueless as to sexual innuendos and such.

It's hard to gain trust when people think you have hidden motives and that you're being deceptive as a result. It's also extremely easy to lose that trust. I have one female friend who has a shitty boyfriend who doesn't really care about her at all. I stayed with her late one night as she was arguing with him over text, giving her advice and such. Knowing that she's is quite visibly unhappy with him, I've repeatedly suggested they break up. I'm almost certain she's now convinced I'm trying to get them to break up so that I can get with her. She came to me for help because I gained her trust, and it seems my attempt to help made me lose at least some of that trust.

>>7830722
>I've repeatedly suggested they break up.
Don't do that. I know it's the logical thing to do, but you're not supposed to say that. They're going to make up and you're the one that's gonna look bad for backing up all the awful things people say about they partners when they are ranting. They still love them, they're just angry.

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>>7830467
Yeah my experience is similar to the other guy's. I don't get boners during cuddling like him though. Let's see... Yeah my life is pretty normal. I'm a bit of a man's man so it's weird to some people when I tell them I'm ace but I don't tell a lot of people because it isn't relevant usually.

I'm not a virgin, I had sex years ago and the experience was not enjoyable. I've had gfs but they don't work out so well as you might expect. I'm trying to find someone who's ace or isn't the biggest fan of sex

One of my best female friends, who I cuddle with a lot I used to date but we broke it off because she was a bit of a sex fiend.

Years ago I used to chase tail because I thought I had to, peer pressure and whatnot. And I was pretty damn miserable. Nowadays I don't bother and it's wonderful and since I accepted asexuality my life has been wonderful

>>7830926
Yeah, I've started to realize that many people don't do what's logical.
I know she loves him, but their relationship is unhealthy. The dude can't even really say he loves her. Like, she tried to get him to say that and to complement her, and he just couldn't. I'm pretty sure they're only together because she wants to be with someone and because he doesn't want to hurt her feelings by breaking up with her.

>>7830953
I don't usually get boners, it's just happened a few times. Doesn't help when there's contact of some sort in that area as a result of being close.

Also, good luck with the search for someone. Given that you said you're a "man's man", you probably have a bit of an advantage in the pursuit.

>>7830722
Oh, also, I should probably clarify that the friend I experimented with, we never had sex, just did some other stuff. It was at her suggestion and I went with it because I enjoyed making her happy. Meant to mention that in the original reply.

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>>7829465
What the fuck, I didn't know this. I thought it was just that Tumblr girls are more vocal about it...

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>>7828802
>ftm ace friend
>he spends all day playing crush crush and katawa shoujo

>>7830681
>>7830722
Hey, I'm who you're relping to. Sounds tough, I can relate to the hidden motoves thing. People talk to me about children and getting pregnant a lot, which makes me uncomfortable. Not that I wouldn't consider adopting someday maybe, but pregnancy is gross and a lot of straight girls I know think so too. I also make a lot of sexual jokes for being ace AND a girl so people think it's wierd, not to mention an ace trender always got uptight about anything sexual including joke so it gave a bad wrap. Then again I also make jokes about having a penis all the time, so It's not like I haven't done quarky shit that made people question me.
>tfw no cuddle partners
I just can't let a relationship come to that, I don't want to hurt anyone if they get too attached to me.
>>7830953
Josh, I'm glad I didn't get meme'd into the "just try it" thing. Sounds like you're doing good now that you accept yourself, I'm glad for you.

>>7831104
I don't think it's that surprising.

As another anon said, there is so much more pressure on guys to have sex.
A guy says they're not interested in sex and it's a case of
>Yes you do, I know you better than you know yourself, you're clearly lying for some reason.
>Can you not get anyone?
>Is this a trick?
>Yeah look at you, of course this is denial.
>Is there something physically wrong with you?

And then that ends up pressuring a guy in to being something he's not, since a guy isn't allowed to be ace; it makes him half a man. A women's sexuality is no one else's business and is almost always respected, so they're allowed to be ace.

If a guy doesn't want sex but their SO does, if someone gets asked advice on the situation the guy will be told to just get over it and have sex. The reason why the guy doesn't want sex doesn't matter, he's not a real man otherwise.
You lurk in places like r/relationships or another equally shitty relationship forum, and you'll see exactly this. I remember a few weeks back there was a guy who had intimacy issues which were causing issues in his relationship. They were so bad that apparently he'd have breakdowns if he tried to have sex with her, and what was the general opinion? This is your fault for not wanting to have sex with her, get over it or she'll dump you since she deserves better. She then starts harassing him at work and smearing his reputation by saying shit like he's impotent, the guy posted asking for advice about this and the response was again that he should have got over himself and had sex with her, and if he really wasn't man enough to take the abuse he should quit his job.
Yet conversely if a girl comes along saying that she has intimacy issues and doesn't want sex and how to approach that with her boyfriend, the response will always be "He needs to respect your boundaries and what you're comfortable with and it's shitty of him to pressure you in to having sex."

>>7831227
Jesus how terrifying

>>7831286
Society is fucked up, and the worst part is that it seems to me that the people who are most vocal about the issues in general have a tendency to only really focus on one side of it all. Feminists have done the most work here, yet they tend to completely ignore, or discredit, any issues males have. Double standards suck and as it is right now, there little hope of a solution.

I'm not saying this to hate on feminists just simply to say that there's much to be done yet few want to do it. Those who do try would have to do so under the male banner analogous to feminism, which I feel would almost certainly get them labelled as working for a hate group or something.

>>7831060
I understand. One of my guy friends comes to me for relationship advice all the time. I feel like for awhile his gf was somewhat hostile towards me and it made me feel bad, but I just had to remember a lot of straight people have this weird taboo about making friends of the opposite sex. They're still together and I think she's better, but it was just an odd situation. Sorry you have to go through that, but it's not your problem to handle. You just gotta let them work things out themselves.

>>7832215
>You just gotta let them work things out themselves.
Yeah, I suppose. Rather certain they're going to fail any day now given just how often they're having issues that push the relationship to the breaking point. It's simultaneously funny and sad to watch.

Also, sorry that your friend's gf was hostile toward you. While it does make sense that she might've seen you as some sort of a threat, it's still not nice of her to just be hostile toward you. She should've talked with you or something.

>>7830467
Acearo male here. I've been able to make friends with a few females, by some magic. When sexuality eventually came up, I came out to them and they were all pretty cool about it.

I personally haven't run into societal pressure for sex too much (I'm pretty young desu), but I imagine any day now the grandparents will start asking about girlfriends.
I'm out to my parents, and they're pretty accepting of it, though I get the feeling they are still a bit hopeful I'll turn out to be a late bloomer and start dating.

>>7833055
See, stuff like that is just hard to watch because you can see the relationship going down hill, and there's nothing you can do to stop it. If you intervene, people turn against you too.
I feel like she would have had valid reasons if she new the full situation, as both of us had a thing for each other, but I made sure to be respectful and not do anything about it. He wouldn't have needed that either, since there's no point in trying to work out a non-ace relationship with me anyways, and I didn't want to screw him over. I respect other people's relationships a lot.
>>7833082
Pretty sure we're all pretty young here then I guess. The oldest I say one anon was 25-27 if I remember properly.
Who /last year of highschool/ here?

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/acegen/ is this what an asexual relationship is like?

>Attracted to roomate.
>Enjoy hanging out with him.
>Don't act on it, because even though I've never seen him with a girl I am pretty sure he's straight.
>Watching netflix chef documentaries with him last week.
>he reaches across the couch and starts cuddling
>wat?
>go with it and we're eventually kissing.
>decide to give him head. But as soon as I go for his trousers, he goes rigid says nope and I stop.
>apologize, then go back to my end of the couch.
>ask him about it the next day. He said he's sorry, and doesn't want to have sex, but he still likes me.
>didn't ask him why he didn't want to have sex. Tell him it's okay with me, and I just want him to be comfortable, friends, etc.
>for the past few nights we've been in a (mildly frustrating for me) cuddle puddle while watching netflix foodporn docs.

So is he asexual, or just timid about experimenting? Also general advice about wat do if he's asexual would be appreciated.

>>7833403
Daaw, he sounds vey nice. And yes I'd imagine he is but you might want to ask just to be sure.

>>7833393
25 also, I'm certainly not that anon though so theres more than one of us

>>7833403
Not wanting to have sex can mean many things which include asexuality so I can't really help you there.

However, if he is asexual and you want to continue a relationship with him, you're going to have to talk to him about his limits if you desire sexual contact in the relationship. Some people are okay with certain things. Some people don't even like kissing.

>>7833414
>>7833417
Eventually I'll have to broach the topic with him about his sexuality, and just what type of relationship we have.

It's just weird because it seems like he's the one that initiates intimacy, and I thought asexual people weren't dominant like that.

>>7833403
There are a dozen other reasons more likely than being ace.

>>7833403
He could be demisexual or greysexual. It's probably best just to ask, he might just be shy.
>what does an asexual relationship look like
Normal, but with no sex. Between an asexual and a non asexual? Nonexistent. It just doesn't work out.

>>7833393
I'm here and I'm 27, but I'm probably not the anon you're looking for.

>>7833474
You're probably right. Should ask him if it's STD related much sooner rather than later.

>>7833502
>Between an asexual and a non asexual? Nonexistent. It just doesn't work out.
Well that's something to consider.
If whatever this whatever this is can only end badly I should try to curtail it before it gets to a point where it messes up the apartment sharing arrangement.

>>7833763
At the same time you can always just be cuddle buddies. Cuddle buddies are great to

>>7833464
>I thought asexual people weren't dominant like that
Why can't they be? I see no reason for that to be the case. We're just like everyone else, minus the sex

>>7833393
Honestly I've been here (/acegen/) since /last year of highschool/ (back when the threads were just an ace flag and the text "asexual general" or something because whomever it was that made the previous major version of the OP hadn't yet made it). Though now I'm /uni sophomore/. Point is there's probably at least one here that's still in high school. Maybe not even senior year. Who knows.

I think /acegen/ really got cemented and became regular (as in, actually having a community of more than just a few people, enough that the threads can die from hitting the bump limit instead of from inactivity (sometimes)) in I want to say late 2014, maybe later. It's been nice to see it develop as it has.

>>7834228
>I think /acegen/ really got cemented and became regular
one can only wish :/ being ace is really weird i still see threads die

>>7833763
It only ends badly when there's:
>lack of communication
>abusive tactics for sex
>the non-ace person desires something that cannot be obtained from the ace person and isn't satisfied with the ace person's limits

These things happen a lot so that's why I always push for communication when these questions pop up.

>>7834228
No I remember that, I started coming to these threads about 2 years ago too. I never become a usual though, infact I probably haven't even posted on /lgbt/ in a year until now. Nice to see these threads are still cooking, they disappeared at one point for awhile.
Question about your cuddle buddy thing though, does that work out for you? Doesn't it create a complicated situation?

>>7834713
Not them but it doesn't for me. I just make sure I'm clear about what I want and what I don't. Why would it create a complicated situation. If the other person was in a relationship, maybe.

>>7834732
It just seems that would create complications in your friendship if yoy weren't careful, that's all.

>>7834744
Not going to lie it definitely does with some people. But there are people who are fine with JUST cuddling, and even welcome it despite not being ace. Generally you shouldn't with someone who is particularly sexually attracted to you (that NEVER ends well, speaking from experience)

But personally I have a need for that kind of intimacy once in a while and cuddlefriends satisfy that

>>7834713
Worked out for me until she got a boyfriend and the boyfriend wasn't cool with it. But yeah, it can work.

>>7834744
It can, but it depends on the person. What's bad is if you start to get at all attached, which can happen from cuddling given that it's an intimate thing.

>>7834758
A cuddle buddy I had was attracted to me and it went well until we had to stop for other reasons (see beginning of this post). It doesn't always have to go poorly. They just need to be seriously, seriously okay with only ever cuddling.

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>>7834758
I guess I just can't imagine me doing that for my own sake, I feel like I would probably get to attached. Glad some people can pull it off though, must be fun.
>>7835499
>the boyfriend wasn't cool with it
Well no shit, cuddles are something you usually do with a romantic partner. That's why I would assume it'd create complications. How'd you deal with that anon? Is this the same girl who's boyfriend is a dick?

>>7835752
Nah different person. We just stopped cuddling, as per his request. I did find out the hard way that I'd gotten attached though.

>>7836876
>I did find out the hard way that I'd gotten attached
Well duh. That's what happens when you're intimate with someone. It's nearly inevitable. In fact I'd say it's more prone to do that than straight up sex even

>>7836876
>I did find out the hard way that I'd gotten attached though.
Well what did you expect? Why did you do that to yourself man? It's just... I'm over here literally shaking my head.

>>7836996
>>7836962
I was being stupid and naive. Still think it was worth it all in all, though. Aiming for a relationship next time. Or I'll get a ton of cats. I think that's the better option.

>>7837263
Relationships with an ace? Has anyone here every experienced that? What's it like? I'm >>7830953 btw

>>7837323
Not him (highschool ace girl here again) but I've literally never had a relationship because of this shit. It really suck because I have to turn down people all the time even if I genuinely like them.
Who else /alone 2017/ here?

>>7837653
Fuck man. Maybe I'll try using the zeemaps but that seems a bit weird. Any aces around Chicago here?

>>7837724
Theres a few last I checked. Not that I'm from around Chicago or anything don't get any ideas silly...

>>7837653
ayy fellow highschool ace girl

>>7837724
>tfw no one pinned in the map in my hemisphere speaks my language

>>7837653

>Who else /alone 2017/ here?

I'm 25 and have never had a single romantic relationship my entire life. I envy the aromantic asexuals.

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>>7837892
Ayyyyyy whatup homedog
>>7838554
:( that gives me no hope. Why not?

>>7837653
turning 22 this year and I'm basically okay with becoming an old cat lady at this point. My niche is so fucking rare it would be impossible to find someone without actively scrounging through filth and having multiple failed relationships for multiple years.

I literally have to find someone who is into a fucking weird kink in the same way I am, be okay with a sexless relationship and me in general, be attractive in various ways, and also living near me.

That's like.... 3 people in the entire world.

>>7839277
What kink?

>>7838998

>Why not?

Partly because I lived in a small town. For my junior prom, everyone in my year was already dating someone/already had a date. I ended up taking my friend's little sister, who was a freshman. She had a boyfriend at that time and we went as friends. For senior prom I went with no date with a group of friends.

Then I went to a community college where a lot of older (married) women were there getting nursing degrees. There were some students there that I maybe could have tried to ask out but I was also too awkward and shy to ask anyone.

Then I took a few years off from college before going to a traditional four-year school, and I'm currently a junior. I'm older than everyone else (not by much but still), and I also commute every day and don't get much opportunity to socialize with people.

On top of that, I only found out about asexuality existing a few years ago and came to the conclusion that I was one, and the idea of trying to find an asexual girl in my area is overwhelming.

>>7839497
Why not try OKCupid or an ace dating website? You seem like a nice ebough guy to get a date if you wanted too.

>>7839562
I'm not that anon, but even if Okcupid has a specific asexual search its a huge gamble if theres any in your area that have a profile. I'm near Chicago, zero results within 150 miles and this is a very populated area.

Still worth a try but just saying, still hard to find people even with apps.

>>7839593
Why do you want to find someone if you don't like sex?
Can't you just have friends instead of a relationship?
I guess you want cuddles?
Just marry someone that isn't attracted to you sexually and let them sleep around.

>>7839628
I wouldn't call it a fulfilling relationship if you're essentially just a friend while your partner goes out with other people all the time.

>>7839628
>Why do you want to find someone if you don't like sex?
Romantic relationship
>Can't you just have friends instead of a relationship?
Not a romantic relationship
>I guess you want cuddles?
Some people do, some people just want a romantic partner
>Just marry someone that isn't attracted to you sexually and let them sleep around.
Not a romantic relationship

>>7838487
Sorry anon. Brutal truth is you're likely to get a high density in English-speaking countries, the US in particular, simply as that's the nature of this site.

>>7837653
I think /alone 2017/ describes a lot of us

>>7839277
What's the kink, if you don't mind sharing?

>>7839593
I think part of the issue, too, is that we see none and leave. Then another ace may come along, sees none, and leaves.

But yeah, I tried it and all the aces I did find were tumblr aces and/or "demisexuals"

>>7839628
That last bit: if they can find others who can supply what you can't, what reason do they have to stay with you? Why waste resources going between two people when one person can do the job?

>>7841231
>>7839321
Puppy play with a mix of bondage. Shit's pretty niche and it gets worse when you say "I would like someone to like it in these certain aspects as me and also, we can't have sex."

>>7841360
Maybe try fetlife

How tall are you guys?

>>7842832
5'10

>>7842832
5'7

>>7841662
You think I haven't? Like I said, I would need to actively scrounge through filth and having multiple failed relationships for multiple years to get through all that shit. I know from experience that this shit will be hard and difficult and I'm at a point where I don't see the profit in investing that much time and energy into someone that I will probably feel uncomfortable with at all times.

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>tfw literally Star Butterfly because of this shit
who else /cuck/ here?

>>7845893
I know like five of those words

>>7846086
Star Butterfly is a cartoon character who gets cucked by her crush who sees her as just a friend. The producer based Star on herself and the crush on her husband, so you just know it's her fetish.

>>7846086
>>7846098
Same thing happens to me all the time

>>7842832
6'3

>>7846098
Wait so you got cucked due to your asexuality?

>>7846480
All the time. Here are the scenarios:
>turning down guys even if they're attractive or I like them back because sex repulsion and don't want to lead them on to heartbreak
>random guys flirt, not sure wat do so self sabotage
This senario is the most predominant though:
>become friends with guy
>uh no friend guy likes me now
>cannot allow myself to hurt loved one
>act like little sister goof ball idiot until he sees me as unattractive personality wise and can only see me as a friend
Listen all y'all, it's self sabotage

>>7846541
I forgot to add
>finging them alternative gf options
Example: this guy really had a thing for me but he came to me one day telling me how he liked two girls and couldn't decide and was too scared. I had given him lots of advice for talking to other girl before and told him to go after her. He had been dropping hints that he liked me for weeks and I still encouraged him to go after the other girl. They actually are together now because of me. Not only that but there was a time I could have easy cheated with him but I'm not an awful person, so I fucked off from being too close to him during that period. I like her though she's nice, and I still give him relationship advice.

>>7846541
>>7846561
Sounds like a huge hassle. I'm not envious. As an ace dude I don't have to deal with nearly as much

Hello. I was chatting with this asexual girl on r9k and she suggested I go here if I was interested in looking for a gal who wanted a platonic relationship, so I thought I'd give it a try.
I should probably describe myself a bit, I'm a 20 year old male in college in North Carolina, majoring in Mathematics. As a lonely person who uses the computer all the time, my interests obviously include video game and anime(Although I don't play video games much anymore.) There's also my academic interests, in Math, Science, and Psychology, although I haven't been pursuing those interests enough recently, which sucks. I also like outdoor stuff like tennis and hiking and frisbee, but I haven't done that stuff in a while either.
Anyway I should probably describe how I look.
I'm a skelly, so I'm pretty skinny (125 Ibs at 5'11 height), and I have a boyish looking face, with moderate acne. I'm white, and my family is from the mid-west, so I don't have a cool southern accent. :(
Anyway, if someone is somehow actually interested, I'll be here for like 20 minutes.

>>7846591
Check the zeemaps

>>7846599
What's that?

>>7846610
In the op

>>7846579
It really is emotionally draining. The worst part is that they'll never know, so at best to the outside world I probably look like a stuck up snob.
>>7846591
Hi again information guy! There are also ace dating webistes and OKCupid where tons of people get together. This is a general too so you can also always come back to the next ones if you want to try again. Good luck! Fighto!

>>7846616
>It really is emotionally draining. The worst part is that they'll never know
What, why??? Tell them. It works for me

>>7846619
I've only told one I genuinely had a thing for him and he did too and we're good friends now, but that usually doesn't work out. You can't just tell a straight guy you like him back but won't fuck him when it doesn't do anything for the situation but make him uncomfortable, and he has a gf so he'd be like "what the hell". Maybe you're not like this, but a large portion of heteronormative guys have a weirdness about their female friends of they have any, so as a girl you have to be extra delicate with them or else the whole friendship could fall apart.

>>7846634
Well I'm sure to bring it up with new friends if the conversation drifts to our love lives. Makes everything much simpler

And if you're aware that they are being friendly because they eventually want to date, why does it even matter whether or not it gets fucked up?

>>7846655
I guess so but sometimes the guy doesn't understand. I'm trying to use that strategy more so now though.
Because I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I want to be a good friend and not soul-crushing to their feelings, you know?

>>7846687
It's understandable but I can't help but feel your efforts are a bit misguided

>>7837323
>>7837653
I want a relationship and I can see myself having sex, but I'd be happy with a close partner without sex. I'd still masturbate though and I do have kinks and sexual fantasies, and I'd enjoy exploring them with my partner without sex. I do find people sexually attractive. Am I ace? Borderline ace? Just low sex drive?

>>7846913
>I do find people sexually attractive.
Not ace. Low libido, most likely.

>>7847157
I would have thought the masturbating if anything would have been what put me over the line. I couldn't do that without being sexually attracted to someone, but I could feel sexual attraction without masturbating.

>>7847167
Some asexuals (including myself) choose to masturbate, for whatever reason. I personally was peer-pressured into starting, and just continued since, ya know, orgasms feel good.

>>7847368
I think of people when I masturbate, so I definitely have sexual attraction, but in a relationship I'd be happy just doing that by myself and not having sex, although I wouldn't rule it out. I want the intimacy of cuddling and physical contact like that, and affection and a personal connection.

>I personally was peer-pressured into starting
Story?

>>7846561
>>7846541
Damn, I need to add this to my box of tools. All I do is the good 'ol "fade away" when I see someone trying to obtain something else that isn't friendship at this point.

I'm dreading the day when a relative tries to push someone and me together and I'll have to sit them down and essentially out myself

>>7846706
I just don't like to be the "outloud asexual" who stops in the middle of a friendship and says "oh btw don't even think about dating me, you can't fuck me lol I'm ace"
I try to aviod an awkward confrontation as much as I can
>>7847458
I'm sorry. Shit sucks man, but It's kind of sweet to maintain a friendship with a crush at the sane time. Just got to look on the bright side of things. :)

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>>7845893

>tfw Star has now become a universal poster child for the cuckoldry/cuckquean fetish, even though Starco is obviously endgame

What are /acegen/'s favorite romances in film/TV shows/literature? Most of what I enjoy are children's media and romance that takes place before the sexual revolution.

>>7844273
I assumed you had, but it's smart to suggest things even if it seems redundant. Sometimes it isn't redundant.

>>7842832
5'10"

Why is there even an acegen? Like you don't have sex, congrats I guess. Being a celibate isn't the same as a sexuality.

>>7851667
So we can share our experiences. Have you even bothered reading the thread first?

>>7851532
I don't really like mist romances. I liked moulin rouge, but that's a really artsy film and I grew up watching it. It's rare I'll ever ship something either.
>>7843765
>>7843891
>>7851575
>tfw no short guys here
Pretty nice heights though tbqh thumbs up emoji

>>7831104
Can I get the source on that chart/percentages? Really curious

>>7851667

Being a celibate isn't the same as asexuality.

Taking a vow of chastity, like when you join the Catholic priesthood, is about sacrificing your desires. Asexuality is about not having those desires to begin with.

>>7851842
Sure, it's really interesting. Is the census AVEN did in 2014.

>>7847396
>Story?
Ok, so this was back in 7th or 8th grade when I was having a sleepover with one of my guy friends. He'd been curious about my sexuality for the last year or two, and constantly brought it up.
(I didn't know I was ace at this point, so I assumed I was just a late-blooming straight.)
Anyway, at some point he asked if I'd ever fapped, to which I responded no. He then listed off a couple of our friends he had apparently asked earlier, both male and female, talking me that they had all done it before.
He continued to say stuff like this until I eventually agreed to try it. I spent the next 20 minutes or so diddling my dick in the bathroom while he waited outside.
I eventually orgasmed, though I was confused because no "white stuff" came out like it was supposed to. I told him about it, and he said I probably just didn't do it hard enough.
The next day, after he'd left, I tried again, still nothing. But after that it just became a habit.

>>7851532
I like romances that don't work out for very good reasons. Like, the odds were against them and the odds were correct, or the interested party accepts that his attraction (it's usually a he) is not returned. It makes me feel like there's some sense in the world and I'm not surrounded by hormone-fueled nutjobs who would throw me under a bus for a chance to exchange fluids with someone.

>>7851532
There's this really good ace webcomic that I liked personally. Also, Pride and Prejudice for some reason got bumped pretty high up when I saw the end of the movie.

Most of the time, I don't watch romance movies because their thinking and plots make me annoyed and the sex scenes are quite ridiculous at times. But there's a lot of touching romantic scenes that pop up in media that I like.

Like this scene in How to Train Your Dragon 2 where a wife and husband meet after more than a decade. I haven't watched it in a while so I'll probably get a little misty in the eyes since it's been so long.

>>7853241
>so I assumed I was just a late-blooming straight.
That's how I was too

>>7854604
>>so I assumed I was just a late-blooming straight.
>That's how I was too
I think a lot of us assume that. I did, too.

If we were gay or bi we'd know it, right? Well... If we aren't then we much just be straight by process of elimination.
That was my thought process, at least.

>>7856015
That was my thought too, and then one day I realized that I was 20 and I had never even tried to pursue a relationship with anyone

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I'm curious if here took a 23andme test and discovered they had very few dopamine receptors? I'm almost certain that this effects my sexuality.

>>7854604
same

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>go on /r9k/ for once
>there's a Norwegian thread
>wtf I'm trying to learn Bokmål
>one of the Norwegian guys there is asexual
>wtf me too I should try to become pen pals with him
>thread archives
I just wanted an asexual Norwegian pen pal darn it

>>7861539
he is probably in this thread.

>>7861558
I don't know about that but if he is
HEY NORSKI BE MY INTERATION FRIEND PLS
TUSEN TAKK

>>7861539
Why didn't you make a new thread

>>7861966
It's /r9k/- basically /b/ teir traffic. I tried and got zero replies.

>>7861514
quick, take a bunch of meth or cocaine, look at some porn, and then come back with the results

I consider myself asexual, yet I do have a huge spanking fetish. Not so long ago I spanked myself 1000 times in about a week.

>>7861514
I have ADHD, which is caused by low dopamine in the brain. Medications for it usually work by boosting the dopamine levels in the brain. If that was what was responsible for my asexuality, my medication should have fixed me. It has done no such thing. Although I can neither confirm nor deny that my libido results solely from my medication but I doubt it does. But just for shits and giggles you should toootttallly do what >>7862702 suggested. I mean for science. Do it for science.

>>7863848
T-thats a lot of spanking

>>7863848
Ouch...
Sounds hot though

>>7863848
While I understand a spanking fetish, I will never understand people spanking themselves. It's like throwing a surprise party for yourself or something.

>>7864182
I thought adhd was due to a part of your brain being understimulated so you have to take speed to functional normally.

>>7864745
Yeah, the dopamine receptors are understimulated.

Actually I think I was wrong earlier. I think the thing is having a lower than normal number of receptors

>>7864729
Yeah same here. If you know what's going to happen and when, how can you be surprised by it?

>>7864729
I guess self spanking has several purposes. Apart from the fetish, it's also good to relieve guilt or process failure in life. Punishing yourself makes you feel better about yourself, makes you feel accountable for your actions, while not having to miss out on other things. Then it's also a possibility it's self harm and it might feel like cutting oneself to feel the adrenaline or whatever, while being repeatable many times without anyone noticing.

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>>7866496

>yeah, i'm totally straight
>no wait, i'm gay
>no wait i'm actually just a late blooming straight
>no wait maybe i'm just a repressed gay
>shit, i'm actually ace

ba-bump

>mfw I will never be a sugar baby
Why

>>7874126
Because you need to put out and no one likes geisha/hostess shit unless you're a 10/10

>>7874356
I'm pretty hot if I'm gonna be honest but I'm not putting out so forever poorfag ect

>>7869516
>totally straight
>decide I'm bi
>decide I'm actually just heteroflexible
>wait, no fuck that I'm just biromantic
>ugh who am I fooling I don't even like sex

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>>7875261

>>7875850
get that 90s forced diversity garbage out of here

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>>7875881

>>7875928
much better

>>7875924
I didn't even like Riverdale anyway

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So, like, I moved countries 2 years ago. How do I meet aces in the UK? Asexualitic is absolute haram and not trustable.
Man, gay people have it easier :/

>>7878026
Are you on the map? I think there may be someone in the UK on the map

>>7878026
Have you checked meetup?

I HATE NON BINARY PEOPLE REEE
>>7878026
>Man, gay people have it easier :/
Stop

>>7878026
>Man, gay people have it easier :/
KYS

>>7869516
>>7875261

>yeah, I'm totally straight
>no wait, I'm a heteroromantic asexual
>wait, if I'm not going to fuck guys in the ass anyway, am I really that bothered by dating a guy ace?
>maybe I'm biromantic asexual

>Literally 4 open asexual girls at my highschool who where out
>zero male asexuals except for that one kid who pretended to be ace freshman because he hated women but then he quit
Y'ALL NEVER WILLING TO BE OUT I CANNOT DATE YOU YOU BASTARDS AHHHHG

>>7880532
*were
fuck me

>>7875924
I ragequited the episode after the kiss.

So last night I was with some friends and a stranger started trying to flirt with me. I didn't register it at all and just thought they were acting really weird. Friends had to make me aware of it after the fact. Is anyone else here oblivious to flirting?

>>7880532
As someone who realized he was ace while in highschool, I think I speak for any potential ace males in your highschool when I say that there's no point to us being out there and it may be more harm than good.

>>7880542
>fuck me
No

>>7881702
To clarify, apparently it was incredibly fucking obvious. Like going out of her way to make physical contact. Things that yeah, I should've recognized. But no, brain just goes "okay lady you're being really weird please stop thanks"

>>7881702
I was oblivious to flirting until it caused me to be in a very uncomfortable situation and now I'm hyper sensitive and am very uncomfortable and suspicious of any closeness.

I basically start internally screaming when a dude starts talking to me out of the random or tries figure out a way to be close to me in a way.

>>7881347
My aroace dreams are crushed. I just wanted my sweet aroace boy

Oh we need a new thread, we've gone past the bump limit
Someone else please do it, I can't do it easily from my phone

>>7882492
I'll do it

>>7882492
Got an image? The only ace thing I had was the bingo card for this one

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>>7883347

>>7883926
I didn't like the watermark so had to change it


New thread!

>>7884074
>>7884074