/ftmg/ - female to male general

I've played through fable 2 four times in the last two weeks. I need a fucking job. And a life.

London?

No third nipple, just a pimple.

I spend most my time on Halo, Overwatch and Warframe. Warframe and Overwatch became more prominent after Halo kinda started going down the shitter but I'm still a massive Halo geek regardless.

>>7650363

i used to play a lot of halo on social slayer... got really good at sniping (cuz i could smoke while i did it, harder to do that when you've got other guns), used to be able to get headshots while people were on moving vehicles and i'd be in the top of my team with kills with like 0-3 deaths depending on the map... been years though, played a lot of gears of war horde mode around then too

>>7650401
I'm a huge sucker for the lore and custom games. I used to regularly host game nights, and they were pretty damn successful. Forge is AMAZING in Halo 5, so I stick around for that, but.... other than that 343 Industries is basically ruining Halo and it makes my heart hurt. I guess I understand how OG Star Wars fans feel.

So my bottom wisdom teeth some have gums hanging over them, and the one on the left recently got infected because food got stuck. I ended up not being able to eat properly for about a week while I wrestled with my insurance to find me a dentist (I was covered for dental but they had never given me any information on how to get a dentist, and all this stuff is new for me). I never had my wisdom teeth pulled out because they started erupting around the time I moved out from my parents, so that option went out the window. They'd been causing a lot of pain for the past 3 years, but they're at a point now where they're basically fine, other than the current infection I have.

Anyways I'm on antibiotics and painkillers now and I HATE it. I constantly get light headed and I feel like I'm going to puke. Supposedly this shit is supposed to be safe to drive with and while I can see it be possible, it would be uncomfortable. It makes me worried about what it's going to feel like when I get top surgery and my hysterectomy.

>>7650469

i lost interest in the multiplayer when reach came out, i hated the changes... i liked reach's campaign better than the other games though

never played 5, i stopped after 4...

didn't bother with forge, i have zero patience with customizing shit... i just liked getting shitfaced and getting headshots... i'd run for the sniper rifle, a shotgun, and sticky grenades and then i'd rotate through sniper spots...

i played a lot with people i met while playing, cuz after every game i'd end up with party invites and friend requests so i got to know some people

my s/o would only really play the campaign with me or just us against each other unless his siblings were playing with us...

used to play call of duty and left 4 dead quite a bit too... but mostly halo and gears of war

it's been so long though i can't even imagine trying to play now

>>7650493

i wish i had some of your pain killers right about now... just saying... and i bet they're like the shitty 7.5 mg percs or some shit

I have the same issue. I've had mine get infected at least until my cheek starts to swell a couple times. Usually any time they start to hurt i go hard on mouthwash until it clears up, but once i had to take a knife and dig what was in there out. It was a piece of beef jerky that i ate almost a week earlier and it had turned gray.

>>7650603
Meant to reply to
>>7650493

>>7650535
>>7650493

+ if you hate them that much though just don't take them... when i got my wisdom teeth pulled i took a couple the first day then dealt with the pain without anything 'til it went away and then took the rest of them all at once... that shit can hurt but it's tolerable

shit i pulled one of my own teeth out when i had to (no insurance at the time it kept getting infected and repeatedly taking antibiotics is senseless) and i did that sober without numbing it... it sucks, but it's not like it's not tolerable

or try an otc pain killer that shit you're taking is mostly tylenol anyway

>>7650630
I don't know if it's the painkillers or the antibiotics that's causing it. I have to take the antibiotics though, because it's still infected. Also the pills for the antibiotics are fucking massive.

>>7650658

idk try not taking the pain killers and you'll know for sure...

antibiotics nearly always make me feel like shit... worst though were the lyme treatments strong antibiotics + that herx shit... there was part of me that was relieved when i found out the shit wrong with me was permanent damage from the lyme + antibiotic combo and i didn't have to go on that shit again...

take something for pain you know won't make you feel sick and see what happens... opiates can fuck with your stomach though idk... i never entirely mind it when they've made me puke, it sucks don't get me wrong but it's not like drunk puking at least

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>>7650658
Antibiotics generally cause stomache upset. They almost always have "take with food" instructions to lessen it.

>>7650700
I always take them while eating, but it doesn't make much of a difference. Other than testosterone I'm not used to taking any medications, so maybe that's why I'm struggling with it.

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>find out I have some emergency funds I could tap to apply to surgery
>actually have decent insurance despite working in a kitchen
>remodel's gonna happen leaving me temporarily with a time period I couldn't work anyways
This... this could be the year I get rid of this bullshit on my chest.
Mother of god.
I have no idea who to go to holy shit I got research to do.

>>7650774
Where you from familia? Maybe I can help point you in the right direction.

>>7650815
I'm in Central Texas. There's actually one guy in my city although I'm weirdly hesitant to say which one because 4chan, but I gotta see what insurance he takes and figure out how to finagle my insurance into Paying Some Of This Crap.

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Sometimes I get a little jealous of you guys, because I feel like all you need to do to pass is dress male, bind your breasts, and wait for T to do its thing.
But I know that's probably not true, so I'm curious: what are some things you guys have to do to pass, besides hrt and clothing?

>>7650833
I'm not from Texas but I asked a friend:
Their insurance company, their primary care doctor/doctor prescribing their hormones, and their therapist/other mental health professional. They'll need to see what would be required by insurance to pay for surgery, and what would be required will most likely be referrals from those other professionals listed. Once you know or have those requirements taken care of, they could then see what surgeons their insurance covers or make a case for another surgeon.

Not the most helpful answer since it's not specific at all, but...that's the answer I got.

>>7650923
Voice training, even if you are homeschooled with a Russian accent you still need to control your larynx and retard (read: female) vocal patterns or else you'll only into fagvoice at best

>>7651080
This. I am still working on mine, I work with kids and tend to use a faggy high-energy voice with them. Like the shit a preschoolers tv host talking to animated cohosts would use. Works for the gig.

>>7650700
hey rdj-sempai, you transitioned a long time ago, right? did you ever hang around ftm livejournal? what was it like?
i came out in the early 2010s and spent a decent amount of time browsing there despite having theoretically better communities available because it was the most information-dense thing there was

>>7651080
>>7651292
>fag voice
Finally getting rid of this. It's one thing to like men. It's another to sound like an insufferable diva.

>>7650923
Finding creative ways to wear clothes to mask boobs if you've got big ones, since a binder is never gonna be enough otherwise.

Do FTM bears exist?

>>7651080
>>7651292
>>7651414
I was under the impression that T would pretty much take care of voice on its own after a while, but I guess not.
It makes sense though.
I feel like part of my voice training now is just trying to go back and unlearn the really monotonous voice I taught myself to speak in when I was younger and afraid of the kids at school calling me a fag or whatever.

>>7651420
Oh, huh.
Yeah, over the summer I was still presenting male because I didn't pass and didn't wanna look like a hon, and trying to hide boobs when it's 90° and humid is a pain in the ass. It must really suck for those who not only have bigger boobs but are actually dysphoric about having them.

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>>7651541
Teddy bears.
Little hairy manlets.

>>7651586
That's disappointing desu.

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>>7651308
No, my last surgery was 2010, I think.
I am shit for anniversaries, I legit forget my own age/bday sometimes.

I wasnt very active, community wise at that time. Work, planning immigration stuff, booking flights for bottom surgery etc kept me busy.

I am here now because all the little tumblr fags scampering about sort of made me realize that having no one know I am trans sort of feels weird. Like, I have moved to a diff country, no one here but my spouse knew me preT/pre-op. You dont bring it up, because bigots and why invite drama?

Short answer, no LJ.

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>>7651590
Your loss.

recently hearthstone has swallowed my soul

>>7652021
have you tried eternal card game on steam? It's like hearthstone if hearthstone was good.

like magic if magic had a good online client

>>7652054
looks good, i'll check it out

>>7650284
Been playing through dishonored 2 at the moment but had to take a break to wait for an update they were bringing out to let me replay a mission I fucked up. Now waiting for my copy of resident evil 7.

>>7652435

i'm at the end of resident evil 7 pretty much... there's 2 endings... it's not like a lot of the other resident evil games in a lot of ways, but it's a decent game (i'm not a huge resident evil fan, but they're all enjoyable enough... especially as the controls got less shit) it just feels like a different survival horror game made by the same people... you'll see what i mean when you play it i'm sure

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Quick question from a trans girl, I only know one trans guy and he basically got asked to take his dick out after he did something similar to pick related at work

Is it like normal for trans guys to pick the largest craziest packers?

Is it because cis guys lie so much about wha six inches looks like

>>7652575
traditionally most trans guys get ordinary sized packers (about 3", which is the average flaccid cis dick and the 'small' size sold for most soft packers)
however, pack and play devices that can also be put in erect mode for sex (and the most popular brands nowadays even come with 'pleasure devices' to allow for sexual sensation) have mostly overtaken soft packers, and these need to be larger to allow for sexual use
they average in the 5-6 inch range, which is large for a flaccid dick
i wouldn't be surprised if choice in pack and play size has also increased over the years, because in older ftm livejournal posts most guys were getting 4.5" peecocks but nowadays freetom doesn't even offer a size that small
also the only intact/uncut pack and play that exists is 6.5", limiting choice in that sphere

>>7652612
It's really really weird to see a dude with a huge semi hard dick walking around in retail, like all day

>>7651080
I never really had to train my voice, cause I never adopted the girl vocal patterns and nature blessed me with freakish ass deep raspy voice even without T. Not in male range, but I always sounded like a chainsmoker. Also I'd say no pressure from family or society to speak "like a girl" helped with not acquiring the shit speech pattern. I'm not even a year on T but I skipped the faggatron voice phase thanks jesus christ

>>7652575
I don't pack at all. There's really no advantage to walking around with a dildo in your pants. I guess it eases dysphoria for some but for me it would just remind me when I otherwise wouldn't be thinking about it.

>tfw never lost kiss/virginity as a girl
>will never be able to become intimate with someone
>tfw permavirgin

>>7652708
Why wouldn't you be able to be intimate with someone? I never had sex as a girl either and I didn't transition until 22, but I lost my virginity within the first year after starting T. It's actually much easier once you're comfortable with who you are.

>>7652720
cus it would mean outing myself

>>7652727
>what is bottom surgery
we just had a whole 'neopenises are pretty normal and will not require you out yourself to have sex' edition

>>7652730
I respect someone's decision to go for a phallo, but it's not for me. i won't be happy until I have a cis (or as close to it) penis, with a foreskin. and even then I wouldn't want a partner to touch me or see me naked

>>7652740
>cis (or as close to it) penis, with a foreskin
what is metoidioplasty
>even then I wouldn't want a partner to touch me or see me naked
that's not transsexualism, that's self esteem

>>7652708

that's a choice you're making not a fate you gotta resign yourself too...

being trans doesn't mean sex is somehow impossible, it's enjoyable, and even if you're uncomfortable with certain aspects of it there's still shit you can do + getting someone else off is a good time, so even if you're uncomfortable with being touched nothing is preventing you from kissing or touching someone else...

it's also possible to learn how to just enjoy something without being caught up in your own head or feelings... being trans doesn't have to ruin that kinda shit for you

>>7652769

to* my bad...

>>7652757
>what is metoidioplasty
A micropenis

>>7652612
>>7652575
I had a friend who bought a size "medium" soft packer off of some no name brand that ended up being like five in. If you assume "medium" means "average" I've seen a worrying amount of five in flaccid "average" dicks.

>>7652692
I only pack for dressy occasions. Parties, dates, outings...

>>7652708
I'm only on two months T and I already feel way better about sex, enjoying it more etc. What >>7652769 said, you need to find ways to enjoy yourself and feel sexy.

>>7652831
I wear a ninja packer. Small enough to not show on the outside, big enough to feel it's there. Crouching faggot, hidden penis.

Here's a weird question on phallo, if it's made out of skin from an arm then can you put rubbing alcohol on it without it burning?

>>7652908
no
phalloplasty does not feel like an arm unless something in your surgery went really wrong, it feels like a penis
they use microsurgery to connect the nerves from the clitoris through the neopenis so you have full erotic sensation after recovery (which does take a long time, given how intense and complicated microsurgery is)

>>7651063
I appreciate it, dude. Thanks. I haven't been in real therapy for a while but I did get a letter to get on HRT so I should be okay to go back to the same person.

>>7652895
>packers
its not a penis though, just like if I have a fleshlight in my pants, its not a vagina.

Your playing pretend and dress up.

>crouching faggot artificial penis

fixed.

>>7651541
Yup.
Although they seem to run more chub bear than muscle bear, from the one or two I've seen.

>>7652955
Everyone knows it isn't a real penis. Go bait elsewhere.

>>7652769
>tl;dr

>trans cannot really have sex but you can have foreplay and pretend your having sex, and just ignore the truth

>>7652968
I feel sorry for anyone tricked into having sex with you, man. But they were probably compensated monetarily, so I guess there's that.

>>7652965
Then why call it a penis?...

>>7652727
>afraid of the truth
>secrecy and paranoia FOR DAYS

>>7652612
>erect mode
hold on honey, I need to switch it into erect mode
>tfw mine is automatic and requires 0 maintenance

>>7652575
its called compensating. Small dick men do it to compensating for small dick

no dick trannies do it to compensate for no dick.

>>7652975
>paying for women
not only do i not do that, but its blblically forbodden

I imagine post op trans might do it to break in, and sometimes break their new "dick" though.

>>7652968

actually what i was telling them is if they're uncomfortable with fucking then there's other options for intimacy and pleasure... they can go as far as they feel comfortable with another person and still enjoy themselves and vice versa even if having sex isn't an option for them

but having sex is completely possible for someone trans, it's just a matter of being ok with using what you've got... and while i'm fine with it, they're clearly not... and that's no reason to resign themselves to a fate where there's never any intimacy with another person

are you the guy who had sex with a transguy and got really upset about it afterwards again?

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>>7652990

>>7652990

christian too? that's funny...

>>7652990
>tfw mine is automatic
Enjoy that while it lasts

>>7652998
Funny I can accept my body?

Funny I can be happy without compensating?

Funny I have a real dick that doesn't fall off? (Kinda like pinochio, "ima real dick!" and gets longer from time to time)

Funny I can concievably walk around naked without being absolutely shattered in my self esteem?

Funny I'm not trying to spend thousands and yours trying to alter my body, JUST seeking enough happiness so I can get on with my fucking life?

Funny I have an actual mans body, mans bones, jaw, muscles, penis, testicles, and don't have to worry about looking like a boy, because I was a "boy" 10 years ago?

.... ...yeah, thats all pretty funny, I guess.

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>>7652998
>mfw paying for sex is blblically forbodden

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Drama hour! Robbie, you got the popcorn ready?

>>7653013
Lets pretend I actually cared about anything you just said. Why are you, someone who wasn't unlucky enough to be born trans, trying to make people who were feel even worse about it?

>>7653033
Because I've never been shown love except when my father forced me to suck his dick.

>>7653013

funny that you're rambling on to people about delusions while you mention belief in the bible... notice how i was talking about christianity before you went on about your body?

secure people don't behave the way you do, neither do happy ones... just how shit works... so feel free to continue displaying your damage, but be aware it's not a reflection of anyone other than yourself

>>7653004
It's automatic
It's systematic
It's hydromatic...
...why it could be the Greased Lightnin'!

>>7653013
That's an awfully long way of saying "I hate when people try and find comfort in their body in a way that differs from me". Almost like you're compensating for something.

>>7653013
Funny how you hate people who have a medical condition and are seeking the only thing that's proven effective at treating it. Or do you think we should pray instead?

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>>7653065
It is that faggot who got raped by his abusive and toxic ftm trans-trender "friend", don't pay him any mind.

He is basically one of those girls who stays in a relationship with an abusive boyfriend, gets raped, then runs around shrieking about how all men are evil. Basically, not someone worth anyone's time or respect.

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Ok, greentext story.

>cis girl with a closeted ftm friend.
>he is very immature, virgin, lives at home, never learned to drive, never worked because of crippling depression.
>won't transition because he doesn't want to get "acne," or whatever.
>Starves himself so he won't have curves. currently a BMI of 15 but has been as skinny as 85lbs.Get's defensive when I try and talk about eating a little more food.
>He isn't even that young any more. late 20s, and your body isn't designed to both age and maintain starvation at the same time.
>what do?
>are these typical ftm problems, or is is my friend a special snowflake?How can I get him to be less crazy?

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>>7653313
>are these typical ftm problems, or is is my friend a special snowflake?How can I get him to be less crazy?

Your friend is a lazy nutter.

Eating disorders are not uncommon in transguys, we tend to go for the extremes because lardasses and skeletors are both androgynous in their own ways.

It sounds like they have hard-line anorexia and other physical fixations re: acne... I would go so far as to say that as far as mental problems go their vanity outweights their dysphoria. More fixated on being thin and with clear skin than transitioning toward maleness... or they want to be a scrawny femboy, which happens. Still anorexic as fuck, tho.

>>7653313
I'm not a virgin. Fuck off.

>>7653335
yeah. so do they need to go to a special tranny rehab for this though?

>>7653313

a lot of people who are severely depressed and have severe issues don't learn to function properly and don't lead productive lives... he clearly has other issues aside from just being trans that are affecting him deeply... the most you can do is be there for him and his friend, you can't exactly fix someone else's problems or change them

they're typical human problems, but yeah a lot of trans people have shit like depression and eating disorders etc going on... and not getting treatment for such a long time can make things worse in a lot of cases

but it is more complex than just being trans in a lot of cases where you have multiple issues...

>>7653335

i doubt the guy is lazy, severe issues make people low functioning...

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>>7653443
True. We've all had the "can't get out of bed" days, weeks, etc... it just annoys me when people are over 18 and not getting out of the situation that leaves them closeted to get on with their lives. Probably because by 21 I was living on my own, and I ain't exactly rich.

Inaction breeds depression, breeds inaction, and cycles. You can't "stop" depression but you can choose action over inaction, and that starts to bust the cycle. Really, it is the only thing that does.

>>7653381
He needs a regular therapist for depression and eating disorders. Being a trans-positive or LGBT supportive therapist would be best, so they don't act judgy and made shit worse.

>>7653313
That greentext describes my life up until a few months ago, aside from the fact I'm 20 just now and I don't give a shit about acne. I've been severely underweight ever since puberty hit to halt all changes, BMI reached 14, but the trade-off of having no tit development or hip enlargement was well worth it. I'll be on test soon and won't have to deal with much if not any tit removal or other female pubertal changes.
But dealing with dysphoria and social isolation leads to dissociating from the real world, and you're stuck in a bubble where nothing matters and nothing pleasures you, nothing is worth it. A person in that situation doesn't give a shit about having a driving license or making friends because they probably lack the mental energy to do anything, this kind of situation is a "stand-by" mode to have a compromise suicide where you're not actually dead but you barely exist.

>>7653530
Yeah, which makes sense if you're a minor, living in an anti-trans familial home, but once you're old enough to pursue transition without parental interference you should get your ass in gear.

Sounds like their brain got stuck, they're living in a mental Auschwitz.

>>7653514

shit happens, just cuz you were able to do what you did at the age you did it doesn't mean someone else is... they might have a different level of depression than you, and a different situation...

shit's different for everyone and everyone has a different capacity for what they can and can't do/deal with...

lacking empathy and understanding doesn't make that less true

>>7653572
It's easy to think that way but not as easy to act it out especially if you spent years in complete isolation from the world. You know, lacking important mental growth phases, normal socialization, gradual maturation? Likely to end up a 20yo manchild with no fucking clue how the world works or how to provide for yourself. It took me years to come to terms with it and my family was extremely supportive, and yet it's taking a lot of effort to try and function because you have to re-learn how to live and manage yourself like an adult. You said it yourself, it is mental Auschwitz. And think of it as an Auschwitz prisoner who grew up there, starving to death, you can't go up to them, liberate them and stuff their stomach with food because it'll explode, or kick them out on their own cause they have no idea what life is like outside. It's a downward spiral and getting out is a long tiring process

>>7653013
>"Overcompensating", the post

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>>7653595
>>7653602

I reaffirm that they need a damn therapist, then.
Cuz if they're that far gone they are not getting out solo, or with ignorant friends.

>>7653629
Yeah they do, honestly getting out by yourself isn't doable at certain points. I got sent directly to a psychiatrist rather than a therapist, cause talk therapy didn't do shit. Sometimes you need medical help, not babbling at some therapist's face.

>>7653572

there's a lot that leads up to any given situation a person can be in + it's not like everyone is starting off as the same person with the same capabilities either... just cuz you did something doesn't mean someone else can, and just cuz you're the person you are doesn't mean everyone else is... for some people that shit's easier said than done...

also everyone copes with being trans differently, not everyone just comes to terms with it and then transitions as seamlessly as possible...


>>7653629

of course they do... and yeah they could also use supportive and understanding people who are there for them who don't have unrealistic expectations and aren't ignorant too...

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>>7653648
True fact.
Especially if you are in such a state though-out puberty. I suspect it fucks up your neural pathways pretty bad, as that is such an important developmental time. People who are depressed through puberty seem to have the hardest time dealing with it, it just keeps coming back or hangs around longer. While, anecdotally, it seems like people who have their first depressive episode later in life can pull out of it more readily.

>>7653691
That's true, it did fuck my brain pretty bad. Developed attention deficit, decreased language skills, brain freezes out of context, had to quit school because I couldn't learn or function. When I was hospitalized at the psych ward they gave me a qEEG which is a brain scan for brain activity, and it turned out to be overly fucked with most areas marked as under-active. I've been recovering some of the functions just now but I doubt it's ever going to go back to normal. Your friend might be on this path, which explains why he's immature and stays at home, he probably didn't grow mentally.
There was a guy at the psych ward with me, he was this bulimic guy that had been underweight and with bulimia for 16 years, he was 30 but looked and sounded like a 14yo. Lived with his parents, didn't drive, short and skinny. Having no food and fucking up your growth leads to that, and not all of it is recoverable, so I'd assume medical help would benefit your friend too. But you have to be willing to undergo a long, draining way.

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>>7653629
im pretty sure my friend will not transisition ever and just die from malnutrition someday. its sad to watch, but there is nothing anyone can do.

pic of angry dogo unrelated.

>>7652959
Got any pics?

>>7654635
See previous thread

just started playing the static speaks my name with my s/o... so far it's one of the most interesting games i've seen...

>>7654798
I have that game on Steam, it's cool, but very short.

I need sleep ;_; please kill me

How do I stop BDD?

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>>7654825
No sleep!
We need your bitch ass here for the daily tickle fight.

>tfw can barely breathe in binder

>>7654802

i don't have much of an attention span so i appreciate the length... like the end of resident evil 7 is just so fucking long even though the game is obviously over...

it's just rare that i find a game that funny...

seeing what else is on his sister's laptop now... she used to have the stanley parable which i've always wanted to finish but it was in her external harddrive that she left in cali

i stopped listening to the narrator cuz i wanted to see what happened and then never got around to actually playing the game...

>>7654887
;_;

>>7654825

i've been taking a bunch of benadryl, nyquil, and melatonin to get to sleep since i'm trying to go a week without heroin... got any of that or all 3?

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>>7650284
Been watching a RE7 playthrough on youtube. Other than that, I've been playing the shit out of Stardew Valley and Pokemon Sun

>>7654893

that means it's too tight, you shouldn't have a problem breathing...

>>7654893
It's either too small or you have a large chest and are trying to bind to perfect flatness (which you won't get, sorry)

>>7654893
It's not easy being a man.

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>>7654893
Do you also have "the vapors"?

>>7654924
Nope, but I did get my hands on codeine. How much should I take to reach oblivion?

>>7655246

lol codeine's never gotten me to that point, and i can't judge your tolerance... last time i had codeine i had it with oxys, heroin, xanax, and weed... so i'm the wrong person to ask desu

>>7655246

+ i do recommend starting slow though, take a little more than you would use as medicine, give it 20 minutes repeat 'til you feel what you wanna feel... codeine is usually mixed with other shit so be careful about the dosing on that...

>>7655246

+ i never really pay attention to how much i take when i'm taking codeine though desu or most pain killers, i just kinda take whatever... but i've had 15 years of practice, so idk where you're at with drug use but my tolerance is probably way different than yours

>>7655270
>>7655261
Low tolerance here. I took three, and now I can't feel my face.

>>7655285
I tend to react stronger than most so I always take a lower dose when it comes to meds. I'm gonna say fuckit this time though.

>>7655293

damn, what's the strength on them? the only drug that's ever made my face numb is coke... opiates can make me feel a little tingly but that's about it

>>7655299

i wouldn't recommend it, if you're already feeling like that just enjoy it... you don't wanna fuck around too much with low tolerance, i say fuck if with shit but again, i've been taking opiates on/off for 15 years it's different when i do it...

>>7655314
Says 30 mg per piece. Is that high or low?

>>7655325

fuck it* my bad... i'm about to down some benadryl and nyquil so i can just pass the fuck out...

i'm actually counting down the days 'til i can use again... cuz i'm a sad motherfucker and a week long break is fucking killing me...

>>7655326

30 mg is pretty fucking high, don't take more... you also are likely to puke at some point, enjoy that... i would've told you to take one if i knew that desu

>>7655342

you're* ... that's 30 of codeine and not other shit right? post pics and let me see what you're taking... either way don't take more, especially cuz you have low tolerance...

i mean don't worry you're not gonna fucking die or anything, but you might be in for an interesting night... and like i said probably gonna puke

>>7655342
Seriously? Well okay then. I feel fine though. Except for the face thing I mean.

>>7655342

i keep forgetting about that fucking filter... but yeah for someone new to shit 30 mg each i'd tell them to take one... you're more than good on 3

>>7655356

when people have low tolerance i always tell them to start off slow... i mean codeine is like the shittiest opiate you can take but still... you can't take less, but you can always take more you know?

and like i said my face has never been numb from anything other than coke and i've taken heroin to the point where i've puked for about an hour and then nodded off at a party... like i couldn't even stay awake or move even if i wanted to at that point

>>7655356

+ the point is that you wanna stay where you're high but also feel fine...

>>7655356

+ like i was saying earlier to the guy with the tooth infection most prescription shit is like 7.5 mg of decent shit and then filled with tylenol

>>7655381
>>7655386
Alright. Gotcha. I think it's just because I'm sensitive though. I feel nice, so it's not too much yet. Not sleepy though. Dammit.

Is it normal for you to take drugs to sleep or is it just because you come off H right now?

>>7655403
Sounds like I got lucky

>>7655410

yeah i mean... use your judgement with it you know what you feel and shit, i usually don't feel tired for a while... like even with heroin i can take a few bags and as long as i'm not inside i can just walk around for fucking hours and shit

it's usually when i'm startjng to come down that the nodding starts, it's never the beginning of the high

i'm doing this cuz i'm still getting withdrawal symptoms and even with all the shit i'm taking to sleep i'm still waking up in the middle of the night fucking alternating between sweating and getting bad chills... without anything i wouldn't be sleeping at all

i on/off have trouble sleeping, so i'll take whatever (usually opiates) to help with that but right now it's just about withdrawal shit... been just rotating through a bunch of otc shit to deal with it...

i've actually been completely sober today and yesterday... first time its been 2 complete days in a row in idk how long... might've happened once in november and before that over a year...

>>7655419

you did yeah, no shit i'm jealous... i'd give just about anything for codeine at this point, or any other opiate... or to take back that promise about not using for a week and go get some h...

>>7655497

starting*

>>7652730
>will not require you out yourself to have sex' edition
idk how I feel about the ethics of that

>>7655497

+ idk if i can last a week honestly... i don't think i can... i'm really probably just gonna end up back on h tomorrow... the worst of the withdrawal will probably be over it's more just that i fucking want it honestly

>>7655552
I assumed that meant for like one night stands where ethical dilemmas and emotional attachment aren't really issues

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>tfw too poor for surgery
I have some questions for you guys because I feel kind of stuck right now. First, how can I have a passing voice without going on T? I know some guys who have voices in the same range as me but I still doubt myself and feel like I speak too softly, I'd like some help with this. Also I'd like to know how hard it is to date people while still having a vagina. Thank you

>>7656332
>without going on T?

Nigga what are you doing

>>7656341
I don't have the money ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

>>7656345
Even without insurance it is like $40/month... that's like subscription for a couple MMOs, a few packs of cigs... needles can be got on the cheap too. Really, doc visits to get started are the costly part.

Does anyone else into /sports/ here?

>>7656804
I was alway utterly disinterested, but then I worked in a sports bar for the spring and now I'm a casual supporter of the Italian and Icelandic national football teams.

>>7656810
Not much into povertyball at all, that's an interesting two teams to be into though from a national standpoint. Did you get to drink at work?

How long does HRT take? I want to go from being a guy to a man.

>>7656922
Sorry. That's terminal.

>>7656928
There are FtMs that are manlier than me.
I'm going to tell the doctor that if I don't get prescribed T I'll kill myself.

>>7656931
that's not how it works, m8
increasing your testosterone as a postpubertal cis man will not cause increased masculinization past 'easier to build muscle'
if you're babyfaced, you will always be babyfaced

God, and I refused to use the codeine I was given after surgery.

>>7656934
What you're saying is I should kill myself?

>>7656972
Embrace your babyface

>>7656978
How does T turn women into manly men then though
Is my only hope facial surgery?

>>7656826
I'm scandi, but not Icelandic. Iceland just did a helluva run, far better than anyone would've thought. They beat England and ended up losing to France, it was pretty awesome. Italy is just... I have ties, I guess you could say, lol.

And I don't drink at all, actually. But no. Was a lot of fun being in a place so excited about it, though. Kinda rubbed off, yknow? Still not into national level football, though. I work under one of the big arenas so we have to deal with the supporters and general hooliganism. Kinda sours it for me a little.

>>7656984
because trans men have only been exposed to prepubertal levels of testosterone before starting t, meaning that even postpubertal transitioners end up in situations resembling male puberty and thus get the same type of masculine facial development (albeit without bone structure changes, if postpubertal) that you did
most trans men still turn out babyfaced, though, especially if they transition after 16 or so

>>7656992
Hooray for horseface genes.

>>7657009
Pretty much.

>tfw manface with babyfat pre-T
This is going to be exciting.

>>7656972
>embrace looking young well past your prime. You'll be 40 with $$ and a career banging young babes
>If you take more T, you will lose a little softness and pinkness in your face.
>You could also be a smoker, which causes premature wrinkling = no babyface

Can anyone recommend a decent or singer band with a lower vocal register to sing along to? The best I have is a band with the secondary singer who doesn't get a look in.

>>7657058
Johnny fucking cash

>>7657058
Meat Loaf.

>>7657058
Madrugada

I don't know what's wrong with me.

All my life, and especially in recent years, I've had these on and off feelings that I probably was supposed to have been a guy. Like me being born female was probably just some cosmic mistake. A usually tolerable cosmic mistake, but still a mistake.

I'm sure I don't have any right to even begin thinking of myself as trans, but I can't stop thinking about how much happier I'd be if I'd been born male like I was supposed to have been.

>>7657120
>if I'd been born male like I was supposed to have been.
Welcome friend

>>7657058

i just downtune my guitar... my voice isn't high to begin with + i have a pretty much permanent sore throat thanks to all my health issues... so it works out better anyway, but also it puts you in a lower range to begin with

look up songs that utilize downtuning even if you don't play anything for singing

>>7655497
I survived. Comfiest night ever.

>>7655577
Good things come to those who wait. Hang in for the whole week, dude.

>>7657155

i knew you would, and i'm guessing you didn't puke so that's good... you won't feel the same if you take them today though without taking more and so on... just so you know... tolerance goes up quickly with opiates

glad you had a good night though... opiates in general really are comfy as fuck...

even with all the benadryl and nyquil i could barely sleep... woke up a few times which sucked

i honestly really don't think i can stand a week, today's only day 4... i keep telling myself lowered tolerance will be a good time at least, but this sucks...i know i really should make it a week cuz i also told myself the last time i went through withdrawal i wasn't gonna fuck up that bad again and here i am, but i really don't want to... i was kinda pushed into promising it to begin with so i haven't been into the idea from the beginning anyway which makes it harder...

i'll see what happens i guess... today might be better just cuz the withdrawal shouldn't be too bad (it's hard to tell this early, it gets worse later in the day... only time it didn't was when i hit a point where i was using it all day and if i even did some shit like wake up late i'd be going through withdrawal) and i can at least leave the house to get weed or alcohol or both... but those have always been substitutes for me and they always feel like it, and that feeling is worse now...

>>7650284
>What games do you enjoy?

I'm not super into games since they cost so much and I'm too technologically illiterate to pirate them most of the time, but FPS and racing games. I like Doom, Borderlands, Paladins, Diablo, F-Zero, since I was a poorfag (and still am) I spent most of my teen years playing games through emulators, mainly N64/GBA/SNES games so yeah, pretty normie-ish taste I got.

>Do you watch playthroughs or stick to just playing games yourself?

Playing games myself.

>Any era/gen you like best?
Not particularly, but I get bored with anything SNES/pre-SNES save for a few Megadrive games.

>>7657197
Take it one day at a time, dude. It is totally achievable, especially when you're already halfway through!

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>>7650284
Fucking games. I was too much of a fedora to indulge in it for ages, but then a mate persuaded me to try Skyrim. Damn him.

Ok let's try this
>What games do you enjoy?
Adventure, RPGs, anything with a good story. Indie games with good atmosphere are awesome. Good music is a must.

>Do you watch playthroughs or stick to just playing games yourself?
Openworld games are worth playing, such as Elder scrolls, Fallout and witcher 3 because you can do whatever you want. Minecraft also works because you can create your own story.

I find that a lot of games have good stories but are way to linear to play through myself. I watch playthroughs of them and see them as movies rather than games. Saves me a ton of money I guess, but I wouldn't buy them otherwise so maybe not. I love watching horror playthroughs when I get insomnia.

..

Guys, I like to collect non-annoying youtubers for playthroughs. Any recommendations? I swear they are as rare as real non-binaries.

>poop
>wipe
>blood
>not obviously shark week
Uh.

>>7657271
If bright red it's hemorrhoids and nothing to worry about.
If black you go to the doctor. Now.

>>7657278
>hemorrhoids
>nothing to worry about

>>7657283
Compared to internal bleeding it's not.

>>7657271
Could also be a small tear if your poop is monster sized. Also nothing to worry about.

>>7657278
It was bright, so that's good at least. Comparatively. My first thought whenever my body does weird stuff is "this is the end of me".

>>7657287
More like not urgent vs urgent rather than not worth worrying about.

>>7657297
Hypochondriacs are always entertaining.
Fun story: did the starvation thing for ages to kill periods, but lately I've gained enough weight for my body to start that stuff again. First period I got I spent 4 hours online reading about ass cancer because my brain refused to acknowledge that maybe, just maybe, the blood came from the defected parts and not my ass.

>>7657304
a small tear will heal itself though, and happens to everyone from time to time. And if you get hemorrhoids there's lifestyle issues you already know about unless you're a returd. Eat healthy and exercise and all that.

>>7657233

wednesday feels pretty far off right now... and i know i can do this in theory, but i really don't want to... i honestly just wish i could feel like that 24/7 and never have to bother feeling anything else

>>7657267

i'm the opposite... i can't usually play sandbox games and shit cuz everything being open ended is just distracting and i end up doing nothing then getting bored...

linear games keep me going through the game cuz there's a clear objective, and i usually need that to focus...

>>7657230

ever play earthbound? snes rpg... it's one of the best snes games i can remember playing as a kid...

>>7657283

well they're not a medical emergency... bright red blood is a decent sign if you're gonna find any blood whete it shouldn't be...

>>7657297

i'm the opposite, i feel something new or something happens and i just kinda think "i guess this is my life now" i have so many nerve issues and symptoms from my health issues that i'm pretty sure something major could happen and i wouldn't even notice... like i could probably have a heart attack and just think everything i felt up until that point was just normal... cuz for me all the warning signs really are just how i feel sometimes

>>7657308
>Anorexia to stop periods
Same. Was a good 8 months. That was 7 years ago now that I think about it. Now am transitioned.

>>7657120

iktf
Been about 6 months since it hit me that these feelings probably describe dyphoria. But I decided I'm gonna sit on it for a full year, then look into therapy if they still hold strong, just in case it goes away or gets recontextualised as some other issue.
I figure I've managed to tough it out for my life thus far, and I'm already an adult. So both mentally and physically, there's not much that one more year can do to me.

>>7657326
Good on you. It's been years for me. I've gained the weight to prevent my skeleton dying (and to prevent being denied hrt) but after getting the periods back I'm considering just losing it again. It's not fucking worth it.

>>7657297
>My first thought whenever my body does weird stuff is "this is the end of me".

ey, me too
>be me
>lie in bed all day praying for death
>wait a tic
>is that a lump
>fuckfuckfuckfuckcancercancercancercanceridontwannadiefuckfuckfuck
>oh wait it's just bone nevermind
>death pls respond

>>7657335
>>7657297
Ya'll need hobbies

I should have killed myself two years ago

We lost everyone due to Botpocalypse. Join us so we can have a bunch of people again pls.

https://discord.gg/7nb2KDB

>>7657775

i feel like that often... wish i didn't fuck up when i tried to hang myself years ago... but i did and i'm here so... trying to make the best of it... if i didn't have people in my life who felt like they needed me (i don't fucking get why) i'd just off myself, but i do and i feel like i can't... especially cuz of my s/o...

i care more about other people than myself, so i just keep going even though i don't want to...

>>7657916

BoyNextDoor

>>7657916
This is a shill right? You get recruitment points? I joined last time and it was pointless as fuck.

so this chick i know... i can get my s/o, his sis, and i to nebraska... but i'm also obligated to fuck her at least a few times if i go, i was gonna anyway cuz i know she's wanted to for a long time and she's dying of caner + i've known her since i was 15... she's in love with me and her marriage sucks... she helped me when i had to get shit together for my bro's custody case cuz i needed shit from someone with a background in early childhood and she knows her shit there...


her husband may or may not kill me... but it's not staying in brooklyn, and i gotta get out of here... idk there's another option but idk how solid that one is... and idk if it's better either

anyone know what the fuck nebraska is like?

>>7658330
nebraska's pretty shitty all around from what i've heard, but if it's your best option you might as well go for it

>>7658330
I wish I could exchange sex for a life escape. Damn dude.

So how many of you dykes like dick? Do you look like TWD Ricks's son or like The Rock?

Why do i feel most comfy around ftms as an mtf? (Compared to mtfs or cis ppl)

>>7658439
Did you like The Hobbit by any chance?

>>7658459
Ayyy lmao you might be on to something

>>7658330
Nebraska is cold isn't it? A lot of nature though.

>>7658383

idk what my best option is... honestly, and i'm not sure what to do... i've never been to nebraska and even if it's shitty i've lived in some shitty fucking situations and i doubt it's worse

i mean no shit it'd have to be pretty fucking bad to be worse and at least it'd be new... and i know she's like really fucking in love with me, and she knows how bad i am with drugs already...

at the same time... shitty how? cuz my other option isn't great either...

>>7658389

eh this isn't the first time someone's offered, it's just the first time i actually feel like maybe i should do it... people offer me a lot of shit just cuz they want sex or attention or both... it seems normal to me honestly... idk people have done the same to my s/o...

and us as a couple too...

i mean it's there, option 2 or start shooting up... cuz yeah i'm trying to stay off for a week but i'm gonna go right back to it as soon as the week is over i just needed to stop for a second

cuz it was getting physically painful to even take, like idk those last bags burned so bad but it was me cuz i didn't use them alone... and i really don't wanna stay physically addicted it's shitty...

but i know if i stay in brooklyn it's only a matter of time before i do that shit...

i mean even right now all i can think about it taking a few bags... i have weed, but like i said... it's always a substitution

>>7658503

the only places i can get to quickly are cold... sucks but yeah... i really fucking hate cold weather, but that's just... what i'm probably gonna have to deal with

it's on/off lightly snowing here today anyway...

I-is it possible to be a model as a ftm? Would outing myself give me an edge? 175cm isn't that short, r-right?

>>7654953
Did you marry best boy?

>>7657267
I usually avoid openworld because I end up fucking around for too long. I'm lvl 43 on Skyrim and have't done any of the main quest.
Tietuesday and mendrinkingcoffee are the two youtubers watch the most, the latter being my favorite.

>>7658918
I've heard of a few trans guys who modeled, but they were all 5'11" and taller, which is standard for models of any gender. I know some that cis women model menswear as well, as a novel gimmick (that apparently gets gigs). High fashion trends are weird, though I've heard it's not a stable career unless you get really lucky.

As a consolation, your height should save you from super manlet status in comparison with many cis men. I'm around your height, and in a good pair of boots I'm pretty much on par with most guys.

Don't know if I need to open another thread, I'll try here first.

I'm starting my first cycle of Anavar next week, but I was also thinking of finally getting T (after seeing the results). Now, I'll get the stuff from the same person who got me the Anavar. Nothing from doctors, I don't want to do more therapy.

So, any tips? About anything, really. Zero experience with T, got a lot of shots in my life for other things but I never gave myself a shot.

>>7658980
What type of boots do you wear that make you a little taller? I'm 5'7.

>>7658412
>dyke
>likes dick
Choose one buddy. But for your answer, I don't like dick and not sure who TWD Rick is, but I'm pre-t so nowhere near the Rock.

>>7659143

he's talking about the walking dead... rick's kid carl

that show sucks though idk why it's still on

>>7659017
It's really not that bad. I used to be terrified of needles before starting T, but made myself get over it. I don't think it'll ever be a super casual thing for me, but if I, a super weenie hut jr. regular, can do it, so can you.

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Man, I wish I was built like the Rock. Dwayne is awesome.

Unfortunately, I am lazy and eat trash masquerading as food... so no.

>>7659179
Thanks for the reply. I was actually asking about what kind of stuff I should get, doses/time, how to prep the needle. If it interacts with other drugs and shit like that.

>>7659287
Whoever prescribes the T should explain it all to you, but here's a fairly good PDF.
https://www.med.umich.edu/1libr/SpinalCordInjuryProgram/IMselfInjectionTesto.pdf

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Tomorrow I'm going on an epic adventure. I will fights dragons and ogres and loads of angry winter traffic. If you never hear from me again, know that I fought bravely and probably froze my balls off. I love you, lads.

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>>7659287
Getting the right dose is best done under an endocrinologists care... people seem all over the place.

You usually draw the oil up with a larger gauge needle, then swap heads to something thinner to self inject.

You was your hands, wipe your thigh with alcohol. Put the needle pretty much all the way in... then draw up on the plunger to aspirate. You are testing to see if the syringe sucks blood up into the chamber.

If it does, stick yourself again in a different spot. You do not want to inject into your bloodstream because the oil rushes to your lungs and you will feel like you are going to die. It passes, low volumn of oil won't kill you, but it fucking sucks.

>>7659302
No prescriptions or doctors, it's all DIY.

>>7659344
Thanks man. This guy is listing all kinds of stuff so I'm a little all over the place too.

>>7659439
I wouldn't DIY. T is one of the most faked steroids out there, so unless you have a good source, you don't even know what you are injecting. Plus, it's a felony to possess without a prescription.

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Say one positive thing about yourself

>>7659563
>hon meets an early transitioner.jpg

>>7659310

where you going? + love you too...

>>7659529

i bet it's really hard to get caught with the street shit... i mean you're right you don't know what you're getting, but i bet in most cases the legality of it is pretty irrelevant... it's probably very rare that anyone gets caught

>>7659563

you know... i can't think of a goddamn thing...

>>7659563
I'm pretty smart. Even being a tranny hasn't ruined that.

>>7659563
I'm objectively good looking.

>tfw period and need to change.
How do you deal with this in men's toilets?

>>7659745
By getting hysto desu

>>7659529
Can't go legit but the guy is pretty trustworthy.

>>7659745
I never use public toilets even though I pass full time in case someone notices I sit down to piss.

>>7659563
I have glorious long hair

>started to think I had money for top surgery
>car dies today, for good

kill me!

>>7659563

I guess I'm not as bad as Hitler.

>>7659862
Just say you have terrible aim. :3

>>7659261
>making up boxes of stuff at work
>"these boxes are pretty heavy anon!"
>ah it's fine, few more of these and I'll have biceps like the rock
>"you're a bit small for that!"
>then it'll be even more impressive

>>7659862
I know two guys who piss sitting down, ones lazy and the other likes to check his phone.

>>7659745
None of them will recognise what the sound of unwrapping a pad or tampon is.

Hi guys, new here, not sure where else I'd post this.

I'll preface this with saying I am a cis white male. About a month ago I realised I was gay when I fell for this amazing guy who worked in the same shopping mall as me and broke up with my then-girlfriend. During one of our dates he told me he was transgender, which I have no problem with at all since we're now officially dating (i'm currently wearing his shirt to bed like a cute gay boy), I was just wondering if there's anything I should know or something that might be too far or something? He's starting T this year too. I'm not really sure what I'm asking here. My biggest fear is that people will think i'm not gay just because i fell for someone who's trans, but I had no idea until they mentioned it to me. Sorry if I seem insensitive

>>7662255
you seem to be doing alright
have you had sex yet? the most important area where a lot of people fuck up is assuming trans guys want to have sex like girls, which very few of us do

>>7662266
we have sex just about every time he's come over because he already had a high sex drive (which i hear gets higher when you're on T) and he likes being choked and mostly from behind. He doesn't seem to mind being on top which surprised me and the shirt never ever comes off since he hasn't had top surgery yet

>>7659563
My gf loves me, I'm good at keeping a healthy relationship with my family, and I'm good with words.

>>7662273
>>7662255
Sounds awesome, dude. Hope you guys work out well and his transition goes well!

>>7662255
>My biggest fear is that people will think i'm not gay
haha, no real advice that's just a funny thing to read

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OTjyO_FncE4

What happens inside a FtM on T

>>7659261
You a wrestling fan?

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>>7662452
i thought it was this
speaking of, /ftmg/, what was your dick growth timeline like and how big did you get? use real inches not dick inches
i'm at 6cm/2.4" at 6.5 months on t, i took blockers for two and a half years before that (started at 15)
the average at 2 years is 4-5cm by the best available data (which is shit), so i'm optimistic about my future metoidioplasty opportunities

>>7650284
Does anybody in here have the creepy voice curse? Especially now that it has deepened the effect is enhanced and I sound pretty uncanny , how do I avoid that

>>7662883

pretend to be a deaf mute, learn sign language, and carry around a notebook to write out longer thoughts... what else is there?

>>7662902
implying i can write
i get told i sound unsettling when i try and talk to new people and it's fucking annoying, i need new vocal cords

>>7662902

+ to do*

you could just work on your voice consciously... but no one can tell you what you need to work on and give specific advice without hearing you...

>>7662955

have they ever told you why?

>>7662971
i could post a recording on here if you want to hear it
>>7662977
as far as i've been told it's because i have an "unnatural" speech pace, a friend of mine told me i sound like i have brain freezes between words

>>7662883
I have that too. It might be actual, non-meme autism.

>>7663037
do you get told you speak with an unnatural sounding "pause" between words and no tone inflection? that's what i am told. or is yours different?

>>7663062
sounds like non-meme autism
t. autist
i speak extremely fast with few to no pauses, but also pause in the wrong spots entirely, such as the middle of words
i'm also fairly monotone

>>7663062
I don't get told too much of anything, but I speak with a monotone and often weirdly slowly, as in pronouncing words slowly, not pausing in between. It's more something I've noticed than something others have pointed out, so I don't know if they don't notice/mind or just don't say anything.

>>7663076
>>7663078
jesus christ we'd make for the most charismatic bunch in town
the funniest description i received was "why are you breathing heavily while you speak"
can speech therapy save us?

>>7663134
funny thing is, i *am* highly charismatic
i've never had problems finding romantic partners or starting cults of personality
i'm just also severely developmentally disabled
anyway, yeah, i'm pretty sure that's exactly what speech therapy is for

>>7663141
starting a cult of personality among imaginary friends? i'm joking. i'm not charismatic and i've never had a partner, but that is not the voice, that is the fact i avoid people
how would you couple developmental disability with social skills

>>7663171
>how would you couple developmental disability with social skills
no goddamn idea, i don't think i even have good social skills
i'm just removed enough from the way people usually think and behave that it appeals to a lot of people
it's easier online, but experimentations with offline socialization shows it can apply there too

>>7663024

yeah i'm curious...

idk... i speak slowly, but no one has ever said anything negative about it... aside from telling me i can sound too sarcastic, but i've also heard i'm calming from the same people...

idk... i sound high sober or not... and that's the most people say

>>7663199
i mean people are either attracted or turned off by freaks and weirdos, makes sense. you lucked out with the appealing weirdness, i didn't, because i rarely ever get people to pursue socialization with me. i blamed it on having pierced every pierce-able spot on my face during HS, now that i do not have that anymore i think it's an innate thing some people have some don't

I've got a joystick you fucking degenerates can play with.

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>>7663221
Yeah, but clearly you got no game.

>>7663205
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0YUVed7luqS didn't know what to say. i read neuromancer

>>7663205
I've been told I sound/act high too, even when I'm sober.
>>7663237
Fucking savage

>>7663237
>>7663263

Wow. I thought you degenerates were nice. Fuck. Man I got done. Holy shit. Fuck me. Wow.

>>7663134

eh people usually like me... they find me funny or entertaining or whatever...

people who hate me really fucking hate me usually though...

idk i make friends everywhere i go and people stick around and give a shit + i've had people i barely even know tell me they've missed me when i disappear

usually when i make friends whether online or off they want me around often and shit...

i don't get it personally... if i had an exact clone of myself we'd probably just leave each other alone

>>7663263

it's how i've always hidden the severity of my drug issues from people close to me... that and i'll make jokes about shit so no one takes me serious when i say shit like "i'm going out to buy some heroin" and then whether i do it or not they have it in their head that i'm kidding...

or if they're close and also know me well they just assume it's true even when i'm joking...

>>7663403

not close to me... in most cases... more just in my life, and sometimes it overlaps

everyone knows about the weed and some of the alcohol, but i keep it there with a good deal of people...

>>7663263

+ it's cuz i have a shit attention span, am always distracted, and always halfway lost in whatever... but idk people don't call me unnerving

>>7663251

i wouldn't say it's how slowly you speak... it's more than that, there's a robotic quality along with it and that's probably what people find unnerving... idk... if i was gonna guess it was anything... i can hear it, but i can't 100% put my finger on it

>>7663478

+ could also be that you're reading... i never finished neuromancer, started it years ago though... i only love cyber punk in theory usually

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I feel like I'm the only FtM who finds the majority of MtFs to be totally insufferable cunts (or should I say dicks?) I want nothing to do with them ever and I'm ashamed I'm a part of the same demographic as them. FtMs (not the retarded transtrenders) have been way more tolerable in my experience

>>7663589
I've been harassed online, called shrimpdick, told that transitioning to male is inherently misogynistic, been told that our surgeries are worthless. I'm sure not all of them are like that but bad experiences have affected my opinion of MTFs.

>>7663589
Kind of, but this has only been my experience in online circles. Trans girls have been nothing but sweethearts to me IRL.

>>7663589
>(or should I say dicks?)

I wonder why they don't like you.

>>7663791
Basically. They expect all the support for their transitioning but totally shit all over trans men for doing the same. Methinks it's because of their jealousy of us having vaginas. In fact I find a lot of MtFs tend to shit on people who have vaginas.

>>7663824
They always love to remind FtMs that they DON'T have dicks, so it's fair game desu. Talk shit, get hit.

>>7663589

i haven't known many... the only place i've seen a lot of them regularly is here, and this is a shit place to base anything on...

i also prefer to get to know people on an individual level before i decide with any certainty whether or not they're an insufferable cunt...

so i can't really say... i'm only close to one and she's cool... but that doesn't count for shit

i don't feel shame for other people's actions either...

but i mean... i'm high sitting in bed drinking whiskey about to fuck up on day 5 of sobriety from h so... idk... i try not to judge people too harshly...

I've seen multiple MTFs complain about how trans activism is too focused on trans men. They are delusional. FTMs are dominant on tumblr and that's pretty much the only place. IRL we're practically invisible.

I clocked an FTM at the gym today

that is all

>>7663904
I clocked an FtM or possibly gendertrender at the movies yesterday, they're everywhere tbqh

>>7663478
ah i see what you mean, it's probably because i have a hard time putting together language in any form, i struggle a bit, so probably that's the robotic quality you heard, because my speech is mechanic. i learnt to speak very late and didn't have an easy time with it

>>7663887
IRL you also want to hide more, and are even more insecure

>>7663916

oh... i started talking when i was really young and then just haven't shut the fuck up since pretty much...

>>7663910
i thought he was butch lesbian at first, until i saw him omw out of the mens room.

i would have felt so bad for mis-gendering him

cuntboys > dickgirls

>>7663904
I saw one at the store the other day.
At first I thought it was a 14/15 year old boy, but very faintly through his shirt I could make out the shape of a sports bra or small binder.

It might've been the kind of thing that only another transguy would've noticed.
He passed better than I do, though.

>>7663838
>In fact I find a lot of MtFs tend to shit on people who have vaginas.
Pretty much. I think that's why they lurk around here (aside from the ones who want a qt trans bf).
And yet I've never found myself jealous of them for wanting to cut their dicks off.
It's strange.

>>7664001
Why are cuntboys good? They are women, without the beauty, weaker than men, illogical like women, but combative like men

They are some of the most obnoxious bastards Ive seen.

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hows my face doing
how are you

>>7664127
You shouldn't be so hard on yourself, anon

>>7664127
They're men with a cunt, you idiot. Dickgirls are generally more obnoxious and dramatic.

>>7664190
It's time to come out of the closet, Elliot.

>>7664190
I want to feed you strawberries. While you look at me and smile. :3

You aren't allergic are you?

What's up with transtrenders and stupid fucking drawn on eyebrows?

>>7664359
thats legitimately creepy. i prefer being fed dicks

>>7664284
theyre cozy as a senpai desu tho bro

>>7663916

+ i think that's what it is though... i think it just sounds like talking is an unnatural form of communication for you... and it can be heard...

i don't think that's it for me... when i say i talk slow, but reading is definitely worse... i stutter like a mother fucker sometimes when i read aloud, but not when i'm just speaking... it's rare more like...

>>7664411
that becuase yur a desu

>>7664073
Saw one too at the mall. Thought it was a little butch lesbian with her girlfriend but then went to the men's bathroom.

But desu looked more like a transtrender.

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>>7664416

i don't get it...

>>7664190

pic posting time?

i was trying to get a pic with gypsy earlier to send to a friend... look at the face she's making... she was giving me over- exaggerated kisses while making kissing noises then cuddling into my neck trying to say "i love you"(didn't cut my hair btw it's just up... still past my shoulders)

you look sad as fuck... something wrong?

>>7664461
>>7664190
Why does nobody pass here?

>>7664475

i'm pre-everything... bad circumstances and health issues, i probably can't ever go on t cuz of them...

Guys

ill consider you men, if u join in with me and hate lesbians too

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>>7664475
eys

>>7664475
>tfw you pass but still get vague dysphoria over your features and don't want to take a 100 photos and sort through them all to find one i'm vaguely comfortable looking at

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

>>7664475
bc they are all forever-not-on-t because trenders

>>7663589
IRL I've had zero problems, online they seem like the world's biggest shitposters lord almighty. Most of the ones I run into at support groups are old as hell though and half are ex-military, cool ladies.

>>7663589
I agree with >>7663800

I'd consider myself a bit of a misogynist due to dysphoric self-esteem issues. It's not intentional, and I'm smart enough to refuse to let myself turn into a neckbeard, but it's an obnoxious anxiety that haunts me. I'd imagine that a lot of trans women deal with the same shit in reverse, and the internet (especially 4chan, which is a cesspool of lonely young autists) just makes it too easy for everyone to let their impulses rage freely, and it's easier to shitpost than reflect on how your dysphoria can influence your perception.

>>7664372
>not on T
>have to make thick manly eyebrows with your overplucked girl brows

>>7664475
The guys that do pass know it and don't care to post pictures.

>>7664190
good. you look like Steve from stranger things vaguely

Can we get drafted?

>>7664799
Haven't been posting pics on the net since I've been stalked by some chicks on a lesbian forum a couple of years ago.

>>7664799

eh i know what i look like... i bind cuz i'm uncomfortable with my chest and experience dysphoria... i don't like to wear costumes... i weat guy's clothes usually, sometimes i'll wear chick pants cuz jeans are jeans and idon't buy clothes really + i'm small... but i don't wear dresses or makeuup

but i can do fuckall about my situation right now... and you never know when you might meet someone interesting to chill with...

i'd hate to be a surprise in person... though i imagine it's obvious what i look like from shit i've said

idk... i just wear shit i would anyway, and am trying to get my shit together to pursue treatment, but you know 15 year on/off drug problem that's gotten really bad since i've been back home... and i've been through a lot of shit... so circumstance too

it's not like it's fucking cool to have problems, i would know i've got plenty of them...

people go through a lot of different shit... and handle it differently... i'n sure some people do pretend or it's a fetish, but there's other reasons why people treat their problems differently or at a different pace

>>7664940
There's exceptions, of course.

>>7664850
Not unless you change your sex on your birth certificate, I'd presume.
Which doesn't happen until after bottom surgery.

>>7664560
I wouldn't say that I hate lesbians but I certainly can't get close to them.
I'm also attracted to girls so I at least have one thing in common with them, but even then, their attraction is very.. different.

So, I'm getting T. I've got several options here.

>Testosteron enanthat TESTOSTERON DEPO Galenika Serbia 5x250mg

>Primus Ray Laboratories
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Testosteron Cypionate 10x250mg

Also
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>10ml vial Propionate 100mg
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>10ml vial Cypionate 200mg

Same shit above but 20ml vials.

Tips? Advice?

>>7664560

lesbians just usually hate me... i don't hate any group of people as a whole, but i can't usually get along with lesbians... they're just so fucking bitchy and i rub them the wrong way... i don't know how most of them can stand each other enough to date cuz holy shit...

idk... they just fucking hate me

i'm not usually attracted to them either so i don't care that they do though

all the women that have been into me have been straight or bi... and they're the ones i get along with

idk... i've had a lot of people tell me they knew about the trans shit or ask me about it after seeing me and even like chilling with me... could be my vibe

or a lot of them are unpleasant cunts idk...

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When I started transition, a lesbian who knew me as AFAB flew off the handle about how I was a "traitor" like I was supposed to be part of some holy lesbo sisterhood. That was off putting.

Now, lesbians who meet me and read me as a male dont have the same reaction, even if I come out about things later, because they never perceived me as female to begin with.

>>7665293
The ideal

I do have some lesbian friends who most likely have figured out that I'm trans, but none are radical-feminist enough to act like I'm a traitor or something.

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>>7665555
I think crazy bitch had wanted to hook up is all. Looking back on it, she was probably hitting on me and since I was in a long term relationship already I just never let myself clue in.

I hurt her fee' fee's.

>>7665293

i've never had a lesbian call me a traitor or say anything like that to me... they typically just seem to hate me for my personality and thoughts that have nothing to do with me being trans

as a matter of fact they usually hate me before they know it... except when they know it automatically the way some people do...

idk... people respond weirdly to me with gender shit, and i've been called out on being trans a lot... even though i don't make a big deal about it... i'm open and honest, but i don't announce it... it has to come up in conversation or i have to meet people in a way where it makes sense to know beforehand cuz of the ways it affects my life (like online)

just cuz online there's that chance to sorta screen people first... and i don't like to waste my time getting to know people if i know they're not gonna actually like me if i was honest with them...

in person though i nearly always gotta get to know them first except for when they assume and ask or assume and announce that they know...

i wish i knew whaf it was...

unrelated: i fucked up and didn't make it a full week without doing any... did 2 bags, and i can barely see my phone i'm nodding of

but i feel so fucking good and warm... like fucking christmas... and i don't entirely regret it even though i feel really pathetic about it...

after i took it has been the best i've felt since the cleaning up attempt started... and i don't mean cuz of withdrawal cuz i wasn't feeling it any more today

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>>7663237
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
BTFO
MADMAN

>cis male
>post my pic in the one of these threads because why not
>two people tell me I don't pass and the third says I'll probably make it one day
I want to die.

>>7666781
LoL That sucks, man.

>>7664799
I feel like we get clocked less on looks abd more on voice, presence, mannerisms, etc.

>>7663910
I saw a coffee shop barista with weirdly coloured hair go into a disabled bathroom and got suspicious.

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Hypothetically... if you could order a perfectly functioning biological cock to your EXACT specifications. What would y'all order?

>>7669353
I'd really like to start a business custom-growing dicks. My primary market would be men unsatisfied with their current penis, but I'd love to expand it so that people born as women could experience the delight of an authentic penis too.