>tfw dating transgirl for a little over a year
>started online, she moved in with me across country
>things have been great
>suddenly she tells me she's been considering de-transitioning lately
>she's never had any surgery, and been on oral hormones for about 2.5-3 years
>very feminine looking
>says she would still want to be with me afterward
I don't know how to feel about this. I'm in love with this girl, and for more than just how she looks, but if she de-transitions and starts looking like a dude, and growing facial hair and stuff I'm almost positive it'll kill all of my physical attraction. I'm not attracted to masculinity at all, even if it's marginal and she's ends up looking like a femmy guy.
Am I a bad person if I would let something like this ruin the relationship? I mean, at that point she'd basically be on the same level as my best friends. Guys who I care about, and "love", but am in no way physically attracted to.
Something totally unforeseen changing in your partner's gender situation is a totally legit reason to break up. Same as breaking up with a husband who suddenly decides he's a woman. It doesn't have to be a nasty breakup, but your sexuality is what it is.
I'm mtf and I had a kinda sorta boyfriend type person who I ended up breaking it off with because they went trans on me. We are still good friends. There is nothing transphobic or scummy about being true to your sexuality, whether they're transitioning or detransitioning, it makes no difference. You accepting your friend as a man, assuming that's what they're going for, probably goes hand in hand with breaking up.
Thanks for the response. I'm just worried about how she'll react when I tell her the truth. I don't want to break her heart or w/e.
It's especially tough since she moved across the country to be with me.
The fact is that they may be mad but its not your fault, They are making a choice, and you have to make yours. Make sure that you are clear its not an ultimatum and that you want them to do what will make them happy. but also dont let them guilt trip you.
Talk to them about their detrasition though, ask why and all that stuff. make sure its because they made the wrong decision from the start, not the stuff that seems like they are going to just start to try to repress it and hate on trannies, then transition in 10 years when they get more hon
She said that basically she's tired of the work required to be "pretty". She said she missed having short hair, not shaving, wearing guys' clothes stuff like that.
I think overall she's happy, but I don't know. We didn't get too far into it because I was basically shellshocked and didn't know what to say.
No idea. Don't even really know what that means.
After 3 years I imagine quite a bit of "damage' is done. To detrans now would probably require a masectomy.
You should talk to her about this. See all what she's disagreeing with. Would you date the person you're dating now if she had hairy legs and dressed like a guy? (I assume by shaving she doesn't mean her face, she should have lasered that shit off a while back.)
You can't change who you are and aren't physically attracted to. The idea that she would be the same person after detransitioning is a silly one, since she would not be the same person. The idea that someone persists as an entity is a shaky one at best anyways even if stuff like gender stays the same, but you're clearly not gay and she can't expect that from you imo.
Personally I think it's an odd decision for her to want to detransition but again that's her decision, all you can do is tell her that you're not sexually attracted to guys if she detransitions.
Yeah, the biggest thing I've learned from this thread is that I need to talk to her more about it and figure out why it is she feels this way.
To answer your question, though, I can tolerate mild stubbly legs periodically (I've had ex-girlfriends who neglected to shave for periods of time for whatever reason), but for an extended period of time, no. Especially during sex, I couldn't handle feeling her hairy legs. That'd murder my boner.
Same with the clothes. If she looked like a guy, I couldn't do it.
Why do you think people call us "traps". It's all part of the tranny agenda, make a straight guy fall in love with us then return back to being male looking to make him gay. Slowly every straight man in the world will be gay.
> She said that basically she's tired of the work required to be "pretty". She said she missed having short hair, not shaving, wearing guys' clothes stuff like that.
This is utterly retarded and probably an evasion. Don't let your girlfriend lie to you about something so important mang.
Can I share my story? Kinda similar
>meet pre-everything mtf
>she is into me
>im pre-everything ugly mtf too
>friendzone her because I dont like her
>keep thinking that getting into a relationship may be good for both since we're both depressive
>hear she is getting the surgery
>ewww, i hate fake pussy
>im glad i friendzone her
>she is getting a ffs, and not a srs
>maybe i should un-friendzone her
I've read this before in a detransistion thread, where the girl(now guy i guess) was talking about how much work it is to be a woman,clothes,make up and it was tiring,etc. It's weird that some transwomen have a very binary idea of what a woman is/has to be, almost a fetish caricature idea of womanhood.
>It's weird that some transwomen have a very binary idea of what a woman is/has to be, almost a fetish caricature idea of womanhood.
Probably the same transwomen whose vocal intonation and mannerisms become a parody of real women. Seems especially common with the older people who transition.