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need advice on my bf
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You are currently reading a thread in /lgbt/ - Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender

Thread replies: 13
Thread images: 1
File: xanadupage21.jpg (263 KB, 650x1002) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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Me and him kinda fell in a bad place last night. I'm not sure where to start, but he has A LOT of issues. When it's just me and him, we have the most intimate moments and everything seems perfect, but when we both go outside, he acts like some bitchy Chihuahua trying to pick a fight with everything 3 times his size. I don't know, maybe it's a femboy thing.

Anyways, a disaster happened where I can't invite my bf to hang out with my friends anymore and personally I can't stand the crowd of catty femboys he hangs out with so that started to bother him a lot. What really started a fight was when I told him I was gonna cancel out dinner plans with him and my family. I just can't have him meet my parents after his meltdown at my friends' party.

Honestly, if he didn't have such massive insecurity issues about so many things and didn't fucking insult everyone he meets in my life, I'd have zero problems with him meeting the parents. But what can I do? He keeps acting out.

Help me? Pic related, a comic I seriously relate to, me telling him to chill, him freaking the fuck out.
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>>5695781
Start slipping horse tranquilizer into his breakfast. It should calm him down a little bit.
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>>5695798
I'd rather not add to his drug intake.
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>>5695807
And of course he has a drug issue. Just dump his ass, he sounds like a jerk. Most people can pull off intimacy, if that's his only positive characteristic, trust me, it's easy to replace him. It will hurt, but that's because your brain is retarded.
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>>5695822
I don't think it's anything serious though.

He just snorts cocaine (that's the white powder version right?). He's not addicted to it.

I'll be honest, I was weirded out by it at first and cautious of him, but having been with him for a year, he doesn't have any drug addiction problems. It seems like it's mostly in his head.

He pretty much acts like the /pol/+/lgbt/ troll irl and when he insults my friends he gets mad that they get offended since in his mind he was "just joking around"

I'd rather not dump him and try to find another bf. Gays don't stick around. He's been the only loyal one so far.
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In the words of a zen master:
>Even though you try to put people under control, it is impossible. You cannot do it. The best way to control people is to encourage them to be mischievous. Then they will be in control in a wider sense. To give your sheep or cow a large spacious meadow is the way to control him. So it is with people: first let them do what they want, and watch them. This is the best policy. To ignore them is not good. That is the worst policy. The second worst is trying to control them. The best one is to watch them, just to watch them, without trying to control them.
You can't control him. All you can do is to be disappointed. Don't say anything specific, just be disappointed. He will see you being disappointed and and be saddened by it, because he wants your approval. It's the same as with parents: their disappointment was always the most effective discipline. When they disciplined you, it only made you angry and defensive.
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>>5695851
>All you can do is to be disappointed. Don't say anything specific, just be disappointed. He will see you being disappointed and and be saddened by it, because he wants your approval. It's the same as with parents: their disappointment was always the most effective discipline. When they disciplined you, it only made you angry and defensive.

Wouldn't that just be me being passive aggressive?
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>>5695861
No, it's only passive aggressive if it's aggressive.

>In conflict theory, passive-aggressive behavior can resemble a behavior better described as catty, as it consists of deliberate, active, but carefully veiled hostile acts which are distinctively different in character from the non-assertive style of passive resistance.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Passive-aggressive_behavior

When you watch, you will naturally be disappointed. It is not aggressive.
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>>5695838
How long has he been snorting coke?
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>>5695838
>He pretty much acts like the /pol/+/lgbt/ troll irl and when he insults my friends he gets mad that they get offended since in his mind he was "just joking around"

He sounds like a real catch...

I'm going to be another person that tells you to dumb him, because I honestly can't see what you like about him from what you've told us. Really the only thing you can do is sit him down and tell him to smarten the fuck up, or you'll leave him. If he cares about you, maybe he'll try and stop being such a shitty person, let him know you'll be there for him if he does want to try.

Heavily relating to a comic about abusive relationships and being miserable should be your first clue to dump him.
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>>5697092
since I first met him. Saw him sniffing it when we were working at the same job and he was like "it's not a big deal"

didn't believe him at first but after being with him he really doesn't have an issue with it. It has the same seriousness as weed (for him) from what I've seen.

>>5697320
He's sweet and nice to me and we click man. I love him and he loves me back. Every other bf I've had cheated on me, but he's been pretty loyal and i have no reason to doubt him. He's the type of guy most people avoid because of his personality but he clicks with a few people. Unfortunately I can't say the same about the crowd he hangs out with. But just me and him and everything is okay.
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>>5697921
But opiates are really bad news. SWIM was "not addicted" to meth but overdosed. I tried to convince him to stop, and he was in treatment but got to the point where he couldn't.
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>>5695781
>catty femboy

Does he think a sassy black women lives inside him? And honestly getting along with other people in your life is a must have for any relationship, dump him if he doesn't start cleaning up his act, don't date trash OP
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