It fucked me up for life if you must know OP. Can't give blowjobs because it reminds me of the traumatic experience, don't trust anybody until I have been with them for at least two years. Never believe it when people tell me they love me. Have a bunch of mental health issues because of it. It didn't shape my sexuality, it impaired it. I already assumed I was gay long before then, had that not happened to me I'd still be gay, but would be a normal gay, not an emotional wreck.
>be 14 >sleeping over at my step dads a few monts after he and my mum brokeup >always suspected he way gay or bi-sexual >he has his friend over >they drinking and playing guitar >get given a drink of bourbon and coke >dont remeber much after that >woke up in a bed feeling extremely hungover and sick despite not drinking much
I left very fast after that because i suspected somethint happend and i was really scared, havnt seen him since.
>>5690764 My school friends once held me down in the break and pushed a broomstick on my rectum. I fought, but since they were 5 guys I had to give up, because I didn't have the strength. That's when I got the most immense sexual pleasure all of a sudden. It was that rape protection instict humans have. I had such a boner and when finally the other classmates came back I was crying and erect as diamonds. Ran away and cried for like an hour on the school bathroom.
Now I'm a tranny and I get HRT. I get the same electric feeling now whenever I'm aroused by something or read something extremely hot. It starts in my pelvis area and shivers its way up my body. It's the most satisfying thing ever and I'm happy that I can have it naturally now.
When I was about 7 or 8my mom used to have this girl down the street, who was maybe twice my age, sort of babysit/watch me. One day she asked me to show her my penis, so naturally I did, and I touched her vagina through her bathing suit.
It didn't really fuck me up. I turned out gay somehow and don't think it had an influence.
Looking back I remember all the times I probably almost got raped as a cute little blonde boy with an adventurous streak. For example there was this one creepy guy who fed stray cats behind the dumpster of a appartment complex near where I lived. Everytime rode my bike through there and I saw him he gave me $5, until I told my mom about him and she told me never to talk to him again.
I realize now he was probably grooming me. Kinda scary. Then again, maybe he was just a nice weird man and people are too paranoid.
>>5691018 Out of curiousity, how can it be disproven, without finding the actual reason someone might be born OR "become" homosexual? I'd love to see some accepted science, because as of now, all we have are theories. Some make more sense than others, but no actual "cause".
Never been molested, but i've had sex once with an cougar lady.I didn't even cum.
I felt like i had been violated afterwards, I cried when she felt and went down fetal position in the shower. I've never been molested but I have this deep feeling of shame and remorse about sex. When I was a teenager I thought masturbating was wrong(even having sex, that I considered to be highly immoral and bad), so whenever I first started jerking off I'd feel a real sense of shame(deep shame).
I'm afraid to have sex with some random person(especially a man) because I'm afraid I might over react and feel like I've been violated(and go into a panic attack and a sense of deep shame).
When I was a kid I woke up with somebody pulling my pants down and looking at me cock. I really don't want to look that much into it because I don't want make up a false memory in my head from when I was 6.
when I was 6 a girl in my class who lived in my street would make me come round to her house and explore inside her vagina with a finger, expose myself to her little sisters and friends, watch her pee, stick thing in my bum and basically do whatever she told me to
if I refused or didn't something the way she wanted she would punch me and pinch my skin hard to the point of tears or threaten to tell on me. I kept going round and doing things I didn't want to for weeks until I cried to my mum(omitting the lewd parts) that I was being forced to come round and play with the girl
I don't think it made me gay but I might have influenced me being highly submissive in bed(I love when a guy tell me what to do not asks me what I'm comfortable with) and being willing to do disgusting and degrading things to please a top
>>5691209 When I was 6 I was playing with a kid that was one year older. I remember one time we were laying(that he instigated), I felt really horny, especially when he talked about fucking(and that grown ups like to fuck).
One time we were out we meet this boy and a girl(sister(5 years old) and brother(younger)). The guy I was hanging out with told the siblings that if they would undress they would get a movie ticket. That they did, then he told the sister to suck on the boys penis.
That's some really fucked up shit that I witnessed(only at 5-6 years of age), might it have fucked me up sexually? Man I feel sorry for those siblings thought. Also that boy I was hanging out with... it's not normal for a 7 year old to know about this kind of stuff... maybe he was a victim of molestation?
>>5691241 Another homosexual trying to simplify science to make themselves feel good. Sure, there are those who have had no history of sexual trauma, and there are those who have. There is also the possibility that the child did not perceive the situation to be trauma, some children could be biologically more susceptible to be prone to homosexuality through trauma than other children. The possibilities are endless and the theory that sexual abuse could trigger homosexuality within any given individual is a damn good one.
>>5691268 It's also not actually homosexually, but simply a sexually derived obsession trauma and can be treated as such so that the individual may manifest their actual sexuality. This is so fucking retarded that there's no arguing with it, from the very first claim it's just plainly wrong.
>>5690820 Pedophile teaching assistant at my school. I was a recluse depressed kid with few if any friends, I guess that made me an easy target. I was young, stupid and he used my naive innocence to befriend me, I was the sort of kid who would cling to anyone who showed me any kind of attention so I would walk around with him on lunch breaks, we'd chat, joke, and I did genuinely enjoy his company. Then it got more serious, ended up hanging out with him outside of school and became what he called "secret boyfriends". Started out with just cuddles, as the weeks progressed he was be the first guy I ever kissed.. Genuinely thought I was in love with him. After many months of grooming he decided to go for a walk with me in the woodland area by the school, it was then that he made me perform oral sex on him, I remember my jaw aching like fuck and being really uncomfortable but he wouldn't let me off until he climaxed. This happened on several occasions, each time was more aggressive. He'd tell me that if I told anyone he wouldn't love me anymore. Again, naive early-teen mentality and lack of friends made me believe I wanted this. I now know that it was sexual abuse and fucked up but back then, I was a bit of a tard. Anyway he up and left his job one day without telling me, never saw him again but I did report this about seven later after a mental breakdown.
>>5691334 He molests him a couple of more times, infects the kid with imprinted homosexuality. The kid starts acting anti social, starts bullying other boys and makes them do inappropriate things to his private area. Now the kid becomes the same monster he's uncle is. The circle continuous into generations infect young minds with antisocial behavior and imprinted homosexuality.
My brother used to grab my ass all the time in front of people from when I was 11 or 12 onward. I always remember feeling so humiliated and uncomfortable, but my parents wouldn't do anything about it. He finally stopped, but it was then that I realized that I was a cuckold, tranny with a sissy fetish and will forever be doomed to live this way for the rest of my life. To this day, he still compulsively tries to "wrestle" me for whatever strange reason and pin me down.
>>5691598 >To this day, he still compulsively tries to "wrestle" me for whatever strange reason and pin me down. Because submission wrestling is awesome, nothing is more fun than physcially dominating another man with your strength and brazilian jiu jitzu. It ain't a sexual thing, it's a man thing, me and my friend would start wrestling in high school or when we would get drunk(shit was so cash). People (especially girls would laugh at us) maybe cause we looked like fags doing it, but there was nothing faggy about it. Pinning someone down feels amazing, especially when both guys are going at it hard.
I have a few vague memories, but I can't say for sure if something serious actually happened. I remember being in the shower with my dad once when I was 7, and he was talking about his dick. And there was another time when a babysitter brought her bf over, and he said something creepy so I tried to hide. I don't remember what happened after that, but there was another memory where I was pinned to the end of a bed, on my stomach, with a woman holding my arms and shoulders and a male doing something with my ass, and I was crying and screaming like crazy. I'm not sure if those were the same incident though. That was about the same time I became really obsessed with being tied up and pinned down by people, and also became a lot moodier.
I just know that I was paranoid as hell going to sleep, as a teenager I put a motion detector alarm on my bedroom door, and had nightmares, almost every time I had a memorable dream, of being chased and fighting off an unknown man 'til I was like 23. It could have just been from an extremely dysfunctional family though.
>>5690764 While I was more of a young adolescent I was sexually abused over the internet when I was 13-14 got in a manipulative relationship shortly after that that culminated in my being molested, and when I was 16 was sexually assualted by someone else. It left me very wary and uncomfortable with sex, and even more terrified of guys (the first two incidents were men) . I'm bi, but I'm too uncomfortable around men to ever be with one.
A female babysitter made me kiss her and make out with her. I repressed it for years until I realized that I had a sexual attraction for females too. I eventually had to come to terms with my bisexuality, but I always wonder whether it was as a result of molestation at the hands of another female. It sucks.
>>5691850 Tbh while I do have a sexual attraction for other females, I could never imagine myself to be in a relationship with one. I'm a woman and I can't even stand myself at times, so I definitely don't need another bitch to put up with. Females are too complicated, too emotional, and they're prone to be more manipulative than males. Also, the lesbian community is cancerous af.
>>5691241 Which says nothing about the impact of early life sexual trauma on sexual orientation, since you're only looking at a control population.
Check if a disproportionate number of childhood sexual abuse victims are homosexual compared to the general population. Is it so? (Not so simple. How do you identify homosexuality? Self-reporting? Serious problems there.)
>>5691655 I dunno, he's a pretty suspect gay guy. I've seem him when he was high talking about how he doesn't think he actually likes women, and sitting on his best friend's lap, etc. He has abs, has never had a girlfriend and died his hair blonde, he's extremely vain, spends like 2 hours straightening his hair and the like. He also seems to ask me if I think certain men are good looking ALL the time. I mean, between him feeling me up all the time as a boy and always wanting to make physical contact with me, be it hugging, "wrestling", calling me the cutest thing ever, etc, I'd say his wrestling was pretty gay. I mean fuck, I'm a tranny and love arm wrestling, sports and competitive activities, even wrestling when I'm drunk, but I don't like feel compulsive urges to pin people down or anything.
looking back on it I don't think the girl who made me do things learned from someone else I think she just found out it feels nice to touch in her "flower" and was curious about boys so she found the nearest boy(me) to explore further
she was pretty mental though. in year 1 of Primary School she stabbed a coloured pencil straight through the nail of my thumb because I said her drawing wasn't very good
>>5692032 >but I don't like feel compulsive urges to pin people down or anything. That's because you're a mtf(and physically weak maybe), when I gain muslces and I've been doing bjj I enjoy pinning friends down or holding them in a lock so they can't move and I can control them like puppets.
I'd like to try naked wrestling, shit would be awesome I reckon.
>>5690764 it's funny. being molested when I was 6 years old, caused me to forget that I'm a girl. I was born with a penis, and after what happened to me I started lying to myself and forgot what happened, and I forgot who I am. I remembered identififing myself as a girl, but right after that memory I remembered I was molested. the molestation caused me to believe I am a "boy" based on what "God" gave me. my mother even remembers me telling her I'm a girl. she even told me she remembered the point when I convinced myself I was a boy, and she didn't say anything until I asked her about the memories I was having. i m still not sure if I can forgive my mom for not telling the truth about who I am. that's my story op. that's as real as it gets.
>>5691346 go eat an over inflated clit! some of these people were attacked as children. calling then betas will nake them feel worse. I hope someone sticks an extra extra large rubber dildo up your ass so you know how we feel. please get cancer, and go to /b if you want to be a jerk like this. >>5691619 > he's a horiable person I agree.
>>5690764 I was sorta molested. Didnt realize it until recently. I say sorta because she never saw it that way, she just saw me as an extension of her body. Me being her child gave her a holy right to do as she pleased with my body. Even thought I wasnt raped, It did fuck me up. I thought I was trans because how disconnected I felt from my body. My first time(with a girl) was a traumatic disaster. I let people grope me simply because I didnt knew I could say "no" and have my wishes respected. Worst of all she wouldnt be able to comprehend it if I told her about everything that was wrong with our relationship. She doesnt see anything wrong with not having any sort of boundaries, I dont think she can even comprehend them. I'd get a therapist, but I dont know how to talk about it without feeling sick and afraid.
intersex. was raped when i was 12 by my male best friend when he realised i wasn't properly a boy when my body had started to develop.
I'm bi but I avoided men for 13 years because I thought they were all rapists. I took testosterone, promised i'd never be vulnerable again. hated physical contact, hated hugs, cried after sex every time with a woman because of my freakish hairy girlbod and the fact i felt like a girl but made myself a man so no-one would rape me again. cried in the shower. cried everywhere. drank a lot. hated sex. hated people who enjoyed sex. stopped trying to date for years, then met a cute guy at a party, hit it off, turned out he was ftm and we had very similar bodies, we ended up fucking on the floor and grinding our T-clits together while everyone else was passed out around us. i did slap him the first time he touched me, though. i experienced orgasm for the first time with him, felt a bit more comfortable with sex due to him, opened up to the idea of men, dated him for a bit. 'destransitioned' and started living as a woman. now dating a woman. i think we'll end up married, she's an angel and is understanding of my fucked up body issues and general hideousness
Thanks Billy, you made my life a wild ride, i hope you're fucking dead
>>5692270 practice with us. you should never be afraid to tell the truth. what happened to you wasn't your fault. tell on of your closest friends. if you that person doesn't want to hear it, then they probably aren't a good friend. anonymous occasionally has bad people in its alias. but most of us are good people who are just flawed in their own way. if you want us to help, we're here for you.
>>5692287 Mother. O rite, I forgot to say how it affected me sexually. I could be cool with anything done to me and I wouldnt feel a thing whilst doing that. I can get sadistic or masochistic in bed(most often, both), but mostly I dont give a fuck. Sex is something that happens to my body, and if I someone started raping me in the middle of the street I probably wouldnt even tell them to stop. Other than that I had massive amount of identity issues, but that started clearing up once I moved out.
some 20 something year old guy tried to get me to touch his dick when I was like 4, I thought it was like a game so I touched it for like a second, then I went back to watching cartoons almost immediately, and even now that I am in my early 20's I don't feel like it really impacted me whatsoever.
I also have a question, does that really count as molestation? I touched his dick for like seconds.
Guy loving mtf here. When I was 7 I was over at a female friends house playing board games, same age, and she kinda unbidden took her pants and underwear off and was acting like she was doing me a favor, and tried to force me to do the same. I ran away.
Shit actually made me turn to religion as a coping mechanism so hard. I was Mormon. I felt dirty, so I insisted on getting baptized at the youngest allowed age, my 8th birthday. Almost all my friends from then on were Mormon. When gender feels started around age 11 or 12, those two things were at odds, and I thought that I must be corrupted or possesd or something.
I moved out at 18 and broke away from the church and started counseling by 19, and HRT by 20. I think it would have been harder to break away if Mormonism wasn't such a factually inaccurate religion.
So yeah, idk if that even counts as molestation... But if anything it inspired intense religious zeal that only made me fight against myself harder.
No but I remember several years ago remembering something, realizing I may have repressed it, and then forgetting it again. Definitely not that though desu, all the adults in my life were pretty responsible. That ever happened to anyone else?
>>5690764 I was molested by the guy next door when i was 11. and it really does fuck up your life. Since i came out many people who know me have asked if i thought that was why i was gay and to be honest for years i questioned that myself. After a long time i came to terms with what happened and I can honestly say I am NOT gay because of what happened, i am gay DESPITE what happened.
>>5690764 I was literally browsing the catalog for exactly this kind of thread I've been reliving a lot of my old trauma today because a book character struck a chord with me When I was very small, my brother (2 years older than me) would dominate friendships, since we were mostly friends with pairs of brothers our age To be allowed to play with them, I was forced to expose myself and be humiliated When I was seven or so, my closest friend at the time introduced me to internet porn and the "birds and bees" as they say For several years we maintained a sexual friendship, and although we took turns being on "top" I was the primary recipient between us Other than that, there was a pair of brothers slightly younger than me in our neighborhood to whom I relayed a distorted version of sex That particular arrangement lasted a few years From fourth to fifth grade, I had a coequal sexual friendship with a classmate After fifth grade, I stayed clear of physically intimate relationships until college Side note for high school- two disreputable sluts were infatuated with me, though I never had a relationship with either of them In college I met a girl who shared all my weird nerd hobbies like anime and mtg and I had my first girlfriend Our relationship quickly became sexual and lasted actually for three years, during which she proposed to me and we began to make plans for the future Two years ago, she broke off the relationship to persue a ftm transition and i decided that without someone to pretend for, I would also pursue my own mtf transition Oh at some point in college I had a long-distance boyfriend but that didn't go anywhere Anyway, I'm quite sure my early experiences with sexuality affected me in some way, as most people I speak to come to the conclusion that I'm broken in some way or suffer ptsd (most likely due to nonsexual abuse by my brother) I'm not sex-avoidant but I've never sought it out Mostly I'm just numb
Anyone get molested and like it? I fooled around with a camp counselor at 10 and I liked it then and I still have fond memories now. Although he wasn't forceful with me, he kinda just guided me and let me stay in control.
>>5693594 >>5693532 here, yes I enjoyed some of it, though that more than anything is a stain on my mind since while I can forget or ignore what happened to me, I'll always know I went back into hell willingly >Although he wasn't forceful with me Even if I went back to them willingly, my first friend had a thing for rapeplay Nine-year-olds are weird
>>5690764 I've already posted this story on chan, but yeah my dad convinced me to do stuff to him cause it was 'educational'. Also doesn't help that he was a famous pop star (still is but not as much now as he was then), so i have to be really fucking careful who i talk to about it.
Now i'm trans MtF and i think it may of had something to do with it... before he did it he was talking about how my dick would look like his one day when i grow up or whatever. So i think that event could of contributed to why puberty was this hugely fucking terrifying thing and my hatred for body hair, masculinisation and voice changing and stuff. Cause one of my 'sex ed' talks was basically fucking paired with sexual abuse. Also my father was never around and spent most of his time in the studio, and would go on long trips when he toured.
In my teen years i had fantasies of being with older men (still do), and when i was like 15 i got obsessed with watching yaoi. It was only later when i realised all the scenes that turned me on were basically rape scenes, and i'd always put myself in the place of the Uke or whatever (The person being acted upon).
Maybe i would have always been trans... who fucking knows, but like i'm always going to be left wondering if being sexually abused is the only reason i'm like this.
It was at church. I went to the one person bathroom after the service. A man got in the room with me somehow. I think he might of knocked on the door and made me let him in. I can't remember what he looked like, only that he wore aviator glasses. He picked me up, put me on the counter, and pulled down my pants. He then played with my dick. I was very confused by this and a little bit scared. I asked him what he was doing but he wouldn't tell me. He made comments about my penis.
Before he let me go, he got right up close to my face and said that if I told anyone what he did, he would come to my house and murder my entire family. He tells me that I have to protect my family by not telling them. This is when I start uncontrollably crying. He covers my mouth, eventually gets me to calm down, and lets me go. To protect my family, I don't tell them.
>>5693896 Later durring a bed time story with my brother and sister I tell my mom what while crying happened. My parents later take me to a psychologist who uses some sort of trick on me to get me to say that an object is a different color than it is (or something like that). He tells me that I am suggestable and tells me that what happened to me didn't really happen at all. He is holding me in his arms when he tells me this and I get really really angry at him and start crying. I try to hit him.
My parrents refuse to acknoledge what happened after that. They tell my brother and sister that I was lying about it for attention. My brother and sister are now disgusted at me and tell me that they hate me. They no longer include me in anything. I am only 5 years old, I hate everyone in my life, and I have no control over my body or anything else. I have a breakdown. My mother talks to me and finaly acknowledges what happens. She tells me that I am young and that I will forget about it when I am older. I swear with a vengance that I will remember. I ask her why she lied about it to my brother and sister. She says that they can't know about it, that no one can know and that it has to be a secret.
>>5693666 >>5693376 here, I was chatting with you a thread or two back, and I really think you should see a therapist. I know you're worried about this getting out, but here's the thing: first off, there are very few musicians from the 80s that are still culturally relevant, so odds are no tabloids give a shit about your dad, nor would the music community unless you're Brian Eno's kid or some shit. That's assuming the information gets out, which it wouldn't because therapists can't legally repeat that shit, and (this is why I mentioned tabloids) no therapist would be willing to take the money to say that shit knowing they would lose their career, before going broke in a lawsuit. On top of all that, you can go to a therapist under a different name, and not mention who your dad is.
>>5693906 >>5693906 The way my parents handled things was logical. I was too young to testify in court and I had waited too long to tell them about it. A trial was unlikely. Because I was so young, they assumed that I would forget about it (probably with the psychologists advice). As for lying to my brother and sister, better 1 fucked up kid than 3 right?
If it was my kid, I would probably acknowledge what happened to him and try to support him through it, rather than denying what happened. Lots of talking and lots of love.
>>5690764 I was. By my older brother for years all the way up till I was about 9 or 10. Me and my sister would sometimes touch and rub vaginas when we were 4 or 5 bc we didn't know it was wrong I guess. When my brother found this out he threatened to tell my mom unless we allowed him to molest us. He was in his late teens. I don't think it fucked me up because I still like vagina as well as dick. But I constantly think about what he did to me everyday which makes me want to bash my head into a wall. I'm not even mad at him at this point, I don't care lmao. I just want the memories to stop.
There was a neighbor of mine in his 20s. I was about 4 or 5. He had a little sister a year or two younger than me and us and others sort of played together in the neighborhood so he was around a lot as well. So one day it was just him and me outside. And we were just sort of messing around and I was very enamored with him. Eventually he took out his penis and stroked it while I watched. It progressed later on other days to me going to his house. Usually he was asleep and I would go in and try to get him to wake up. If he wasn't interested in "playing" with me I remember getting very frustrated and sad. But often he wanted to play with me. So he would put me on his lap on the bed and pull his pants down and stroke his dick while I was on his lap. I sometimes took my pants off. He would also rub it on me a little. One time he rubbed it against me a lot and I could tell he wanted to put it in and I wanted to feel it but I was afraid my father would see something and terrible things would happen so I didn't let him do that.
A few times his sister would come in and ask what we were doing because she was curious and he would tell her to go away and if she kept peaking he would throw a blanket over her head. I remember finding this funny. Anyway she knew were doing something that wasn't normal but was too young to really understand what was going on.
The sounds and smells from that period of my life still turn me on.
Its no surprise I developed strong attraction to men. Also I was always fairly feminine and eventually transitioned.
That's my story. He did take advantage of me but also I enjoyed it in a mindless sort of way and I don't feel like it damaged me.
Not me but my older sister was. It was during a family gathering. She was like 7. Dipshit cousins who were only a little bit older got her to take her trousers off and go around and sit on their laps.
I told my mom what was happening while it was happening in the other room. She didn't believe me - wouldn't even get off from her seat. Never really thought about it but she was a pretty horrid parent.
Sister had all sorts of issues. Drop out, cutter and sucked her thumb into her 20s.
Mind you, about 8 years ago my cousins (10-year-old boy and an 8-year-old girl) were begging me to show them my penis. Like BEGGING. "Come oooon, show us your willy!"
Got the fuck out of there but, man, I was light headed. If they both end up straight, I'll take the credit.
No but sometimes I feel like my cousin did something to me when I was 3 or 4 years old. I used to be obsessed with boys even at a young age I was boy crazy. Now I'm obsessed with girls which all started around 4th grade
Cis heterosexual male here, only came for these threads, make me feel good that Im not the only one that suffer that shit On a phone and real bad English so basically When I was 11 I went to dentist and he tried to touch me, only managed to conviced me to show my Dick I was afraid to say anything to my parents He ends up in jail because other childs started to talk about being raped and I realised how lucky I was of not being raped
I was literally during all my highschool time afraid of male teacher, I even distanced from my own father and could only trust females
To make things even worse some corrupts cops tried to hit me only for fun when I was 16 and make my paranoia about adults male worse
Almost when i was 10 or so, i used to live in Harlem, and i would take the subway to Brooklyn where all my older friends outside of school lived, who all knew me as male and had no idea i was born female.
We used to play basketball and go to the pool or whatever, and somehow one of their younger sisters found out and told everyone i was 'lying about being a boy' and later that night they all pushed me into the pool and held my head under the water until i almost passed out
I guess most of them ran away after that, but two of them tried pulling my clothes off/telling me they were going to rape me, and drug me into in abandoned trailer, They ran away and left me there when they realized it wasn't abandoned and there was a man asleep on the couch
>>5691241 Almost right if you stated your primary hypothesis and alternate hypothesis, presented the numbers and in due course presented which hypothesis as the most correct. Most other anons are suggesting a different study.
>>5695772 That's not the main reason people hate us. They hate us because we're men that are into other men, and that seems to creep many straight folks off. It's like a person becomes less worthy in the eyes of straights once they find out someone likes dicks.
>>5695827 Yeah, that shit is just too nasty. Don't some gays don't have any sense of shame and decency? That leather/bdsm/public masturbation/bug chasing seen really puts homosexuality in a bad light. They make us like like we're all mentally ill, compulsive masturbators and perverts .
>>5693920 Maybe you're right... i guess i never have to actually mention his job or who he is. Therapists are expensive though, and i'm broke as fuck. Maybe when i'm in a better position i'll be able to afford therapy.
>>5701311 if you respect someone like that you just have hardcore fucking stockholme syndrome. Seriously you are messed up in the head start worrying about yourself and disregarding your own feelings for your "family", if you can consider someone who would do such a thing to be one. (no.) find the strength to live on your own and then you will be happy.
>>5690764 No thankfully. But from about age 7 to 11 me and 3 of my friends two were about the same age one was 5 would go in the woods and take off our clothes and hump each other and try to fuck eachother and sometime we sucked each others dicks. Then when I was 12 they all moved away and I haven't seen any of them since then though I've found one of them on Facebook recently. I'm 99.9% certain its what planted the idea of boys fucking boys in my head and turned me gay I didn't have any gay thoughts before that happened. I don't regret it though nothing wrong with being gay. At least one of them must have been molested that's not normal behavior.
MtF. i like girls I don't think I was but for a while I had a crippling DXM addiction, for like, 2 years in that time it helped me remember a lot of things from my early childhood, but it also gave me a lot of false memories, and i still don't know what is and isn't real sometimes. i went to Catholic school. one of these included being molested while there. so idk
When I was 4-5, a kid who was a year younger than me from a shitty family down the street encouraged me to do things with him that he'd definitely learned from someone else in his family. Thinking back, the memories are of burning hot curiosity... I can't help but feel I'd be more normal if I hadn't had the experiences I had with him and I definitely feel shitty for the hand that poor little gay kid was dealt.
I then did those things with my next door neighbor's granddaughter. That was fun.
I have memories of my granddad watching me take constipated shits as well- I'm not sure whether I'm repressing more about him or not but I give him the benefit of the doubt. I'm pretty sure nothing happened.
...And my older sisters dressed me up as a girl several times as a child.
Bi/m with a taste for crossdressing that I leave well alone.
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