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Trans and childhood experiences

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Can childhood experiences really tell someone is trans?

I'll use mine as an example. As far as i recall, i always liked cars (Specially the ones that you can open and fit many things inside. Am i gay because of that?), beyblades, power ranger dolls.

However (maybe during to bullying) i never liked to play sports (football, volley, basket), and i hated contact with males. But the only contact i realy had with a girl was at 13-14, so i've stick with my nerd friends.

At most, i've liked to play "house" with my friends where we built houses from Legos and every one had a wife, childs, dogs and weapons. Nothing to do with being trans, i don't recall wanting to be the girl and nothing like that.

However, i remember a kind of "genital dysphoria". The worse day, i was sitting at the couch and felt a kind of "itch". I wanted to have a vagina and masturbate as a girl, and i was extremely jealous of how girls have more pleasure. I remember stealing my sister bras and clothing too. I was 8-9 at the time.

This disappeared, i didn't felt like this for years, until i had access to my slut aunt clothes 24/7, and for years i've been a slutty "crossdresser". I'm 19 now and still doing this, stole some panties and bras, a pair of high heels and all.

But i don't want a vagina anymore, i find them fucking gross and i like to have a dick (I don't like to use it for sex though, i feel nothing, i just think it's better to have it and i can get more pleasure)

However my skinnyfat body, my giant beard and my body hair depresses me everyday. I even got out of the gym fearing i would get even more masculine there.

How do i cope with these feels?
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>>5671190
click on pic related, bud
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>>5671203
Kek, but i'm not sure if i like the side effects of it like boobs and... yes like boobs. Dick is not a problem, however i'm almost sure i don't want to remove it.

I also have history of kidney disease in my family, wich makes me uncomfortable if i need to go through it.
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>>5671628
1.HRT wont make you pretty.
2.if you can't do it with out passing don't do it
3.you will never be a women you will be a transgender women
4.nothing wrong with just keeping it a fetish
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Not really. I played with cars, played sports, got in trouble for making fun of people, etc. I just happened to also develop some sort of hyperfeminine, emasculation fetish. Who knows what the fuck this shit is?
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Generally I find it safe to disregard all feelings from these ages, but consider the ones from teenager years onward as indicative of trans stuff.

Because it seems entirely useless to look back when you where 4 or 7 or something and say 'My God that must mean I'm trans!' Fuck off, you're just trying to support a narrative in the present. You know what I was into when I was 4? Thomas the Tank engine. OMG am I trans? No I was fucking 4.

Now when I was 14 however and I got my first facial hair and I wanted to kill myself because of it, that might indicate something.

Whenever I hear people say they knew from such a young age I always question this reasoning, feels like they're trying to hard. Just because you have trans feelings later in life doesn't mean you can't be trans (although why you'd want to be is beyond me)
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>>5671744
If that's a fetish will the urge go away someday or get weaker?

>>5672258
If you're a christian they call it "satan".

But i don't know.
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>>5672297
Nope. If you consume the fetishistic content all of the time, it will only become more of a part of you, like a loving wife you'll want to "marry" your fetish. Have a look at crossdressers.com and tell me how many of those 40 year old guys gain arousal from the fetish anymore. Many of them have consumed so much of it that they're likely unable to live without it. I don't know if I believe in satan, but urges like these are definitely satanic if that's what you wanna label it.
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>>5672297
It will go away when you are more ugly and manly
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>Can childhood experiences really tell someone is trans?

Not really.

>I also have history of kidney disease in my family, wich makes me uncomfortable if i need to go through it.

Check for endocrine disorders.

>If that's a fetish will the urge go away someday or get weaker?
Unpredictable. Few people stay exactly the same sexually their entire lives. Long term drop in sex drive is very likely.
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any other trannies molested when they were a kid?
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>>5672969
No but I'm starting to wish I was so I could know why I'm such a mess and knew it wasn't my fault.
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>>5672969
I don't think so, but it could be hidden in my subconscious or some shit.
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>>5672989
anon I am a mess as well and knowing that I was fucked when I was a shota dosent really make the guilt go away for sponging off everybody and letting my parents down, try not to beat yourself up it dosent help you get through life (but thats easier said than done)
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>>5672283
>Now when I was 14 however and I got my first facial hair and I wanted to kill myself because of it, that might indicate something.
Every single step of puberty was such a god damn disappointment.
First the acne started in, which was bothersome but not a big deal.
"Wait, a beard?? Oh.... I guess that makes sense, since I'm a guy..."
Then the acne got worse, then
and the body hair, and then the adam's apple,
and the under arm hair. The weird disgust you get when you realize your voice has become deeper.

My parents basically had to force me to take showers (I hated looking at myself). When I got older I only showered after the smell was getting bad.

Feels like I went through the wrong puberty. 0/10, wouldn't recommend.
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>>5672990
Shit i'm not the only one who think about this...

I don't remember great part of my childhood so i'm really unsure if that's happened to me.

However i'm extremely fucked up. I've been through bully during all my life, so if that happened it would be during the school. I know my family didn't.
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>>5672283
But teenager years may also not indicate anything and be nearly as deceiving. no?
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>>5671190
They are a good sign the child should be followed up with to see if they remain 'til puberty. If they do, put the child on puberty blockers, and see if they still are at 15. If they are, put them on HRT.
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>>5672969
I have some hazy memories. I'm not sure what actually happened though. One time a babysitter brought over her bf, and he made some comment about me like "so, this is him, huh?" in a creepy tone, and then I have a (separate?) memory of being pinned to a bed face down by a guy and a girl and screaming bloody murder. And Is it normal for your dad to shower with you at age 7, and talk about his dick size? But if it did actually happen, wouldn't it have been more than a couple times? And would they be able to carry on like nothing was out of the ordinary? I remember my mom came home one time and I was outside crying, and the first thing she asked was "did he touch you?". Not "did he hit you" or "did he scare you", it was specifically touch. Those memories have always been there, so it's not like they just resurfaced, but they never get any more detailed than that, so I have no idea, and I don't want to stir up a shitstorm.

I was scared of sleeping in the dark, and had constant recurring nightmares of a man chasing or attacking me until I was out of college, and even put a motion sensor alarm on my door in high school. The first time I was intimate with someone I got all shaky and shut down when they went for my genitals. I ended up crying and shaking til I fell asleep with them holding me, but that could have just been a trans thing. I have no idea.
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>>5672969
Yes. Makes me feel like I'm not really trans and just danaged. Yay.
Thread posts: 20
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