I just jacked off to a woman masturbating, a solo woman masturbating in front of her computer. And they all said I was gay, now i know my homosexuality is just a pathological sickness and a novelty seeking behavior. Yet therapists/or people in general don't want to hear that, every time I tell a therapist I feel like I've made myself gay they look at me like I'm a delusional faggot(because I told them I'm questioning my sexuality because I keep jerking off to gay porn.
Everytime I jerk off to straight porn I like to look at the dick, his body, his power over the girl, her submissiveness to his shear sexual power. I really can't get off to thinking about myself with a girl, but I can think about other guys with girls(because I'm a pathetic excuse for a straight guy).
My sexuality revolves around other guys, it's so sick, it's like I'm so beta that I became a irl faggot. Recently i've taken my cock lust to a whole new level. Now I get off on thinking about sucking dicks and getting fucked in the ass. Ever since I connect the dots(I like dicks, men around me have dicks, there are gay men that would enjoy fucking me, and it's ok to be gay now and you aren't judged as much as in the 00's for being gay, I just want a male friend that we can do butt stuff and let me touch there dicks).
I don't actively look at naked women(anymore), I'm really used to seeing naked women getting fucked so a naked lady with no dick in her hand isn't really a turn on for me. I also think I would enjoy girls much more if I could bang them with my well endowed friend. Which shows I'm not really gay, it just shows that I'm a dick fetishist.
I did get hard when i fucked a girl once, but i didn't enjoy the penetration, it felt tiresome. Maybe I'm just lazy and that's the reason why I want to get fucked in the ass.
So since i've made myself gay, there must be a way to undo my cock lust because I get turned on by women when there's a dick in them(not my dick).
tl;dr: You're gay, deal with it.
I HOPE this isn't yet another dumb b8 thread.
When I was younger I'd constantly try to justify every gay lust I had(I jacked off to dick pics? that's because I have penis envy, or can relate to the notion of other guys masturbating).
I don't want to ruin my reputation as a "straight male" by having sex with another man, then finding out that I'm not gay, then I'd just be a straight guy that stupped so low that he sucked dick, I'll always have that in the back of my head.
I love how sexuality has become like
>what kind of people do you like to fuck
It's like asking people which hand they prefer to whipe their ass with and in which direction.
And? All of that are excuses, you are attracted to the male body, that means you are not on the 0 in the kinsey scale. You are NOT attracted to the female body,that means you are on the 6 in the scale.
You are not a straight so shouldn't care bout your "reputation".
No, but word would get around that I'm gay, and that would dry up my chances of ever getting a gf.
Getting labelled a homosexual is a pretty humiating(at least for me). I'm not one of those kids that thinks it's hip and cool to be gay. I'm not even a kid(im 25 which is kinda tragic)
>do you find femdom arousing?
No, not really, and the more I allow myself to jerk off to gay things, the more I start being attracted to men. I can even get off to muscled guys showing off their muscles.
I really don't think I'm a cuck except in that I use girls as a proxy for cock lust.
This makes me feel A) way better about how long it took me to be OK with being bi B) really sad for you OP.
I actually worried that I was just so lonely i was somehow making myself be into guys. It wasn't true and just rolling with it turned out to be great for my mental health (and therefore made dating both men and women substantially easier). There really isn't anything wrong with being into guys and if you're into them and into women, factually, you are not straight. Just accept it, nothing bad happens when you do.
> I can even get off to muscled guys showing off their muscles.
It would be terrible if someone did something about it right?
>I actually worried that I was just so lonely i was somehow making myself be into guys.
I went through a long period of thinking this way. Since I had little sexual contact for a number of years with women I thought I was turning myself gay through masturbation. But I was just trying to come up with reasons to deny my sexual feelings for men
You can't turn yourself gay. No person has ever started to view men as sexually attractive simply by masturbating too much