is it wrong to dress as your desired gender if you don't pass? should hons take one for the team and NOT live their lives as women publicly for the sake of the rest of the trans community?
No. They should dress as they are more comfortable dressing.
Also no. Hon attitudes and behaviours are what make them unpleasant, not the mere fact of being late transitioners.
Assuming we're not going with the new definition of "hon" (doesn't pass as 10/10 woman 100% of the time dressed as a man-slob without makeup).
Those who don't pass should just give up.
HRT is not a magic drug that makes you pass. If you looked androgynous/feminine before then you'll look that way after.
If you looked like a cis-guy before then you will look cis-guy in a dress after.
I see plenty of cis guys and girls who are clearly an insult to their gender. And a lot of that has to do with genetics and more so the fact that they don't really care or try hard at all.
Take HRT if you really do have GID or whatever. But do much more than just that. Work on your mannerisms, your style of dress, your voice, and your makeup. You will screw up, and probably look childish at times, but you will eventually figure it out and make progress. If you actually think about hons on really any level beyond "I hope they're doing well/wow, you should work on x or y" then you've internalized transphobia or something.
its not right or wrong.
just know that if you look like a man and you wear heels and a dress you are gonna catch a lot of stares and possibly get some shit for it.
and if you live in a bad enough neighborhood, possibly beaten as well.
you can express yourself however the fuck you want to, just be realistic, and have some common fucking sense.
>take one for the team
This is the only thing I got hung up on. When the fuck does anyone do this. Live their life in the basement, choosing to become a social failure for the benefit of someone else.