If you're gay, lesbian or bi, are you more attracted to the same sex because of their mentality/persona, i.e., you like other men because you bond more deeply with them and such, or is your attraction more physical in nature? It almost seems like a spectrum or contiuum or somesuch where you're attracted to the same sex/gender for both mental and aesthetic/lust type reasons. Even in the case of, say, straight men, there's oftentimes men who really hate women as people but are just attracted to them physically, and then they have male friends who they go hunting or watch sports with, with whom they have a sort of "bromance" with subconscious homoerotic undertones and repressed pining for one another despite not really being into them in a physical sense.
Or I mean it's a continuum of being attracted purely because of physicality or because of mentality. I suppose this theory of mine would piss some LGBT/social justice types because I'm implying that gender is more than a mere feeling and that it has some part in attraction between people, whether it's homosexual or heterosexual pairings.
Gay here - I'm attracted pretty much equally to physical and mental natures of men. There is literally nothing better than the male body, even in its "average" form, and same applies to male mentality. There's this vulnerability right beneath this shell, and these two equally important parts just hit all the right fucking notes.
Although yes, there is probably a spectrum of sorts. Bis are the biggest example of such, some are explicitly attracted to the male body but hate male mentalities (even if it's their own), but love the female mentality. Whatever mixup or combination that works for them.
I'm bi and I'd say I'm the opposite of what you said. I have a sort of deep mental attraction to the male mentality/personality but I'm a lot more picky about male physical appareance than I am with women. Sometimes I consider finding a "troll" older man who's not physically attractive really at all, but someone who's smart. I could handle being a strict bottom type who just submits and sucks dick every night to keep him happy if it meant we could have a wonderful sort of physic meld or whatever. It really needs to be a man who isn't "femme" though, which I think is more of a modern-day affectation than anything. Think about the ancient Greeks and Romans. A ton of them were fags but they were manly as hell, or at the very least they weren't swishing and mincing and sashaying around like a fucking cartoon, just as a way "signal" their orientation to other gays/bi's. I am welcoming American society becoming more secularized and supposedly degenerate so that the average Joe can be free to be gay or bi without reprisal and that it will become the norm like it was in those old societies. Then again, I do sometimes find effeminate gay men to be somehow endearing, but they have to strike a nice balance between that and being a fucking walking fag architecture.
So you'd consider yourself gay but not so gay that the thought of using a woman as a mere human fleshlight would repulse you? Where would you say you're on the Kinsey scale?
I'd say I'm a 2 or 2.5.
>A ton of them were fags but they were manly as hell
Yep, but many were also pretty boyish in not only appearance but mannerisms. Which is where a lot of the pleasure derived from. Well some of them were legitimately just boys but...
> I have a sort of deep mental attraction to the male mentality/personality but I'm a lot more picky about male physical appearance than I am with women
Interesting. Do you think it's just about comfort levels rather than explicit attraction to certain mentalities? Separating the two is a little difficult, but it seems many are much more looking for comfort in themselves in relation to others than they are actually legitimately attracted to certain mentality types.
Personally, I can't get enough of men who are thick headed, and have their hearts in the right place - even if they sometimes make me feel uncomfortable, as an example of what I mean above.
I'm gay and mainly attracted to manly personalities and mindsets... I don't even like dicks. I have a hard time being even friends with women, it's like 99% of the time their interests and opinion have no overlap with mine whatsoever. I can't get it up for women so I guess it's physical as well, but I have a somewhat low sex drive with men too. (I'm pretty sure I didn't produce enough testosterone during puberty or something.)
You should talk to a doc about that quite honestly. Specifically seek long term ways to improve your sex drive. Your body isn't isolated, if one area is lacking, it also impacts the rest of your systems.
>Yep, but many were also pretty boyish in not only appearance but mannerisms. Which is where a lot of the pleasure derived from. Well some of them were legitimately just boys but...
Yeah, there was the whole pederasty thing... "platonic love" was seen as a new thing insofar that it meant there could be fondness and all that without sexual activity. The Greeks basically believed that knowledge couldn't be legitimately transferred from person to person without sexual contact in the equation. However, within the military ranks and such there was a lot of fucking between grown men and that was basically the norm for them. That movie 300 failed to mentioned that all 300 of those fearsome warriors were staunch homos as a rule.
>Do you think it's just about comfort levels rather than explicit attraction to certain mentalities? Separating the two is a little difficult, but it seems many are much more looking for comfort in themselves in relation to others than they are actually legitimately attracted to certain mentality types.
It's hard for me to really explain without coming across as a sexist. I just am really attracted to learned, intelligent men and that often trumps my more base, carnal sort of attaction for females. Occasionally I will find females who are really un-female like and intelligent and analytical (often they turn out to be autists) and this really is the best of both words in a way.
Sometimes I think that bisexuality is a cures if you're at like a 50/50 split. I feel like no one person will ever truly satisfy me for the rest of my life. I guess that's really the root of why bi men are oftentimes--and sometimes deservedly--demonized in the gay community.
I totally agree with the aversion to dicks thing... but I do bond with women, but they won't have it most of the time unless I tell them I'm gay, which isn't really the case. I share little to no interests with them but I have a similar mentality as them in some ways...
>I guess that's really the root of why bi men are oftentimes--and sometimes deservedly--demonized in the gay community.
Basically. Although, I don't think you would be unsatisfied for the rest of your life, you really just have to nail down a satisfactory route - and it doesn't seem to be a monogamous relationship with the same person forever.
>and it doesn't seem to be a monogamous relationship with the same person forever.
That's what I would want really but my sexual lusts don't really comply with that. And really I think open relationships are a fucking joke and doomed to fail.
I think open relationships have been done incorrectly for a very long time. I don't think they're doomed innately, but they require commitment and thorough application. What I mean by this is, there's no separating, and sex outside of the relationship must not be willy nilly whenever the feelings arise. They have to be planned and purposeful, definitely can't be a one sided thing due to jealousy either.
Too many do the 'open' relationship thing meaning fuck whomever, whenever, with or without my consent. Which leads to jealousy issues and lack of communication. But anyways, I'm not stating this is your only choice, there's a lot in between open relationships and monogamy.
Not emotionally but more physical, something about women that just really turns me on. On a personal level, no. I get along more with men, emotionally and romantically. Women, just for sex
So I guess I'm bi
Kinda both... Father figure wasnt present in my life so im looking for some kind of mentor/dad/friend, despite of that men bodies/ touch turn me especially muscle one, i know im not original...
It's not like I'm impotent... When I say "low sex drive" I don't mean "no sex at all", I can sustain a boner, it's just that I'm fine just cuddling with my boyfriend most of the time while he wants a blow-job every day (which I'm happy to provide, but if it were completely up to me I'd do sexual stuff including blowjobs like once a week or less). Often I don't want him to reciprocate, but I let him because it makes him happy!