My best friend of 20 years told me he loved me and wanted to be with me. I've never identified as gay or bi, not that I'm not open to it but I've never really been attracted to a guy before.
This however hasn't grossed me out at all or anything. I feel like I want to be with him too. No matter how much I think about it, it seems good to me. But I've tried to look at him sexually and my mind hits a road block. I'm having these conflicting feelings, I want to be in a relationship with him but my sexuality doesn't want to align with my feelings.
What do I do, do I still pursue a relationship with him? He told me he's a catcher which means I have to be the pitcher but how am I supposed to do that? Is there a way I can make myself gayer? I don't find myself turned off by gayness at all but it doesn't turn me on either. Maybe there's an inner gay in me?
It's not a joke, it's OP's best chance of making this work. He likes his friend on a mental level and his friend is submissive and wants to bottom for OP, so if he becomes a tranny then they'll both get what they want.
Saying the joke a second time doesn't make it funnier.
>Just don't take it serious
Would that be possible for OP given that they've been best friends for two decades? I feel like it would be impossible to have a casual relationship with someone you're that close to.
Problem being is that if they progress in some way but hit the block of "physical attraction" and sexual desire being non existent from one side, it could potentially do a lot of harm.
But at least trying on some level without the sense that if it doesn't work, the friendship could be strained...
so i dated a guy who told me he was straight, then he fucked me. we met twice for sex, and then he txt'd me saying he is straight and didnt wanna pursue sex with me, but would like to be my friend. I still am pretty well attracted to him but ill settle for friends.
>Go for it, worse comes to worst you get a few bj's and some sex maybe
Also try tight cloths on him, girls undies on him or lapdances kinda thing. or whisky, can always try whisky
Just try the relationship out and see how you feel about it, you might really fall for him and he could change your mind, who knows? Good luck, OP, and ignore the dipshit saying to turn him into a mtf
OP, i don't understand what's wrong with just being close friends?
You sound super ambivalent about the whole thing. If he was a girl you got along well with, but didn't find attractive, would you also try to force it?
Just drop it.
Hard sitauton OP
There is a chance that you learn its something you can handle which in case gratz on the new BF
But there is also a chance you cant handle it and thats not your problem, its just you were not right for each other
In either case be prepared to lose your best friend, if you break up it could be bad, and in terms of you saying no (especially if he knows you like him emotionally) it could cause lots of stress.
Gay men looking for relationships tend to get obcessed at times, espically with their friends. it will usually only fix itself when they learn to love themselves, quit going after the people who dont like them and settle for a gay or bi guy that actually likes them (to which they jump in too fast usually and restart the cycle of drama)
ITT: Absolutely shit advice.
Everyone telling you to 'give it a go' OP is clearly a virgin basement dweller with zero experience.
You're not gay OP, but you are fortunate enough to have a friend you truly love. Cherish the latter and accept the former. You're only going to hurt this guy unless your miraculously become gay/bi overnight (you're not going to), save yourself and him the pain and don't get romantically involved.
This entire situation is literally gay fetish 101, don't take what anyone (including myself) is saying as unbiased / sensible.
OP here. The reason I want to pursue a relationship is because I feel like I love him too and I want to be with him. Whenever I think about him I feel nothing but love on the inside. I would love to marry him and be with him forever. Which is why I feel like I do have some gay in me but whenever it comes down to a primal "does my penis get erect" level, it's a no-go. I could kiss him all day, hell I would even give him a blowjob, but I don't think I can let him do the same to me. I mean he could try, I'm not stopping him from trying but I'd feel ashamed at my lack of erection.
A lot of gay guys crush on their best friends. It's a little weird that he's trying to goad you into a relationship. He's just going to have to accept that not everyone is gay.
I guess if you really want to try a relationship go for it but it's just going end up really awkward if you end up really uncomfortable being with another guy and he's going to be heart broken.
Well, you could always have a relationship without the sex part you know. You can just cuddle, be affectionate with each other, and do everything together but that. Ask him whether he'd be fine with that, or he wants sex that badly. But also ask yourself the same question.
Would you be fine with living your life if you couldn't have sex with others? Would you be able to kiss and make out with your friend without feeling nauseated? How would you feel if you woke up every morning embracing him? Do any of these questions feel wrong? right? neutral?
And most importantly: do you love him? Or if you don't, is he important enough to you to make any of these sacrifices?
Think these questions really through. Remember, sex only makes up a small part in a relationship. In theory you could make it work, but it'll require compromises. It's up to you whether you want that. And if he really is that in love with you, he'll probably take the offer, even if he won't get to have sex with you. As long as you satisfy each other emotionally, I don't see why can't this work. You're already best friends, what more could you ask from a future partner?
Well there you, you're bi with a strong female preference. You learned something new today.
As for your friend, if he loves you then he'll put on a dress and some kinky underwear for you. If that's what it takes to have you, he'll definitely be on board.
Your only reasoning for getting with this guy is "meh, why not".
Fuck you OP, that's a terrible reason. What you are describing is a SHIT relationship and it will fuck your friend up.
This is how fucked up platonic love between guys is.
That anyone can post that seriously proves it.
Sex is an important (almost fundamental) part of a romantic relationship, without sex your just friends who happen to love each other; that's fine, but that's NOT a romantic relationship. What you're talking about is NOT romantic love, its arguably a better and rarer love but it's not fucking romantic, jesus.
This thread is infuriating. You barely pre-teen thirsty lonely faggots with zero experience are giving this guy SHIT advice that's only going to destroy his friendship. Stop weighing in on shit you know nothing about.
Maybe I'm just a big fruitcake but I would happily wear the dress. I wouldn't have a problem with that. I wouldn't look good in a dress though, I'm too masculine to pull that off with any sort of grace.
>Sex is an important (almost fundamental) part of a romantic relationship, without sex your just friends who happen to love each other; that's fine, but that's NOT a romantic relationship.
Please do tell that to the hundreds of thousands of asexuals currently living happily in a commited relationship or married to other people. "you are not living in a romantic relationship, you are just friends, what you feel isn't true love hurr durr" That is how retarded you sund.
Also who the fuck are you to tell how other people should feel and do? Are you the fucking love and relationship police or what? Seriously, go and fuck yourself scum, but not before you check your privilege you shitlord. I never used that phrase before, but this time I'll make an exception.
Definitely. It doesn't hurt to bring it up, just be honest and tell him you love him but you're not attracted to males but you would still want a relationship and ask him if he would make himself more feminine for you. I guarantee you if he really loves you he'll be down as fuck, especially if he's a bottom.
I'm not talking about the 1% of Asexual people. I'm talking about him and his friend, who are apparently straight and gay respectively; not asexual.
Stop applying the same dumb-shit logic to an extreme minority as you do to the majority. I'm not saying asexual people have to have sex to be in love, but I am saying that for everyone who's not asexual sex is important in romantic love.
Take your meme arguments elsewhere, the quantity of shit advice in this thread is astounding and I'm sticking up for the poor gay guy who OP is going to totally fuck over with his ridiculous, selfish, confusion.
>sabotage every relationship he has
Not just romantic ones. Get hid friends and family to cut contact with him
>treat him like a princess
Be as nice and supportive as you can and always make sure he feels comforted, safe, and happy around you
>have him "catch you" jerking off to tranny porn
this will let him know that you're not into the male form but can still be tempted by some one at one point who used to be considered a man
>tell him that he's like a wife to you and sometimes you wish the two of you could be together
This will give him further hope that the two of you can be together
>whenever he hits on you remind him that you're straight
This will drive him nuts and he'll start making himself look more and more into something you'd be comfortable sticking your dick in. He'll eventually go full HRT and SRS and you'll have your bf bride
>I'm unable to imagine my life without sex thus the idea that other people might just do that makes me uncomfortable and causes me to lash out irrationally
stop trying to project your feelings onto everyone else. pls go.
>I have no argument so I'm going to call an anon on 4chan names
I told my crush last saturday that I'm gay And I "love" him. He kinda weirded it out. Then I asked our mutual friend to talk with him about him, me and about me being gay. They talked. He now in a ... cool condition. He understand my intentions. He know everything I want from him. ANd I...kinda okay if he will not let me suck his dick or we will never have anything really sex oriented. I just want to be with near him. Talk to him. listen to him (even wehn he talks about girl's vaginas or tits or some stupid shit I do not understand or like, like black metal). We don't have in common almost anything. Except we are both artists and both have a penis. And I hope he could give me at least his time.
And that's kind of it.
I envy your friend a little bit. Cause if you rationally think that being with a freind is good for you both. Then go ahead and be with him. Being with another male friend is rationally better than with any female one. Cause only mae will understand other male in most cases.
And about sex... well. If you could, you could try oral sex as a top for the start. Its the same as oral with female even better cause other male knows the dick (he have his own). If not... I hope your friend is not too demanding and yous till can fuck other girls but live with him.
I would give many things to live like that with my crush.
Sexual attraction is one of the biggest things the keeps a relationship alive, so if you don't feel that for him it's best to keep your relationship with him the way it is. It's what's best for both of you. Calling it an official relationship only adds an expectation you can't meet and that's something that could end up ruining what you two already have together.
You can still love and care for each other, but there won't be that expectation of sex straining your relationship. Who knows? Spend enough time together, and maybe someday you'll feel something more for him.