ITT: things you have used for lube when you have had no lube.

>>5581209
shit

>>5581209
spit

always worked pretty fine desu

Moisturiser

>>5581209
mashed yams

anyone ever use cooking oil or butter?

um honey my bussy STAY wett ok??? betta relize n respekt k tnx bye

File: ghost_pepper_hot_sauce.jpg (8KB, 300x400px) Image search: [Google]

8KB, 300x400px

>>5581209

>>5581209
KFC

In the shower: conditioner.
Out of the shower: baby oil. Thanks for the tip, Adam Sandler!

>>5581406
I've used olive oil.

>>5581728
atm after?

>>5581632
there's enough grease in that "chicken" to lube all of san francisco.

>>5581209
Uhm... Let's see...
>Cooking oils (sunflower, olive, mixed the two, sunflower was good but olive was thick)
>hand cream (the one for before heavy physical work, was breddy gud)
>massage oil I took from my parents' bedroom (one had a fucking annoying smell though)
>spit
>shampoo (never again, man...)
>hair conditioner (it worked okay)
>dishsoap-water-oil mix (worked surprisingly well, but required mixing it a lot)
And the absolute best: Sunflower oil mixed with paraffin based massage oil. That shit becomes really thin, flows almost like water and it's really slick. That was better than anything I could come up with anytime else, around 1:1 worked well and I used a needleless syringe to store it.
That thing worked so well that up to this day I use it to lube the slidebars in drawers with it. Stops corrosion and also the sunflower oil doesn't go bad because of the paraffin. It's the WD40 of masturbation

Egg whites. Good lube, difficult clean up.

If your hair conditioner is SLS-free it's pretty safe to use.

>>5581819
Well, it was definitely enough to shove the Golden Gate Bridge up my rectum

Olive oil, spit, nothing, hand moisturizer, whipped cream, bacon grease, and massage oil

>>5582908
How did bacon grease do?

vaseline is pretty good but back and forth friction can be difficult

spit, mineral oil, pre-cum

>>5583142
W-well. I found a jar of it sitting next to the kitchen when I was 14. I thought it was coconut oil because it was in a coconut oil jar, but it turns out my mom's bf was storing it in there.
It was great until I realized my dick smelled like bacon, and I spent half an hour rubbing it raw trying to wash it off.
4/10 would not try again

I want to try it with my hands. How would I wash vaseline out, or am I better off just getting normal lubricant?

>>5581209
Real men use Ballistol.

>>5581209
Will he ever forcefully use my tears?

moisturizer, vaseline, cleanser (worst of the lot)

Canola oil

File: maxresdefault[1].jpg (43KB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

43KB, 1280x720px

>>5586246

>>5583327
wouldn't your ass just absorb it

*HELP*

I'm too scared to buy a dildo. Even online.

What every day stuff is good for massaging my prostate?

Also, what's a good position for fingering yourself? My wrists always get numb

>>5586380
why are you scared?

just buy one of those black toolboxes with a secret compartment and use it to hide your fake silicone dick, which hopefully will arrive in discreet packaging.

File: slurp.png (132KB, 810x386px) Image search: [Google]

132KB, 810x386px

>>5586380
Sharpies are scientifically designed to be the perfect introductory dildo. Just don't push it in past the cap.

File: dog_skep_dog.jpg (35KB, 326x400px) Image search: [Google]

35KB, 326x400px

>>5586408
>scientifically proven


if you're dumb enough to do this, put it in a condom completely unrolled and tie it off. Let the end of the condom hang out of your ass to retrieve.

>>5581209
Assuming that "lube" = sex lube...
>unscented, sensitive skin hand lotion
>olive oil
>coconut oil
>vaseline
>some stuff I stole from my doctor's office that was for lubing up limbs in casts. I think it was just KY Jelly in ketchup packet looking containers
>spit
I would suggest none of these for anal, not even coconut oil b/c it thins out so quickly. I personally like combining little bit of coconut oil with a thick water based lube for ass play stuff: coat everything with coconut oil then use water based lube. Silicone stuff is good too but can't use it with silicone toys.

>>5586380
one of those vibrating razors

>>5586380
Use a watermelon

>>5581209
When I was younger, I would use soap quite often, nobody suspected anybody would use soap because of the burning.
The worst part is really when it crusts over your ballsack and you have to peel it off.

>>5587730
This, can recommend.

>ITT: mutilated dicks
stay mad cutfags.

If you've had to use lube for fapping, you're not watching the right porn.

File: 500.jpg (40KB, 500x500px) Image search: [Google]

40KB, 500x500px

I cannot stress too highly NEVER to use this product as lube.

>>5590839
Sometimes my precum gets too sticky quickly so have to switch to lube.