I want to get into some kinkier stuff, especially petplay, but the I usually seem to go for more masculine and vanilla types who have no interest in this degeneracy, meanwhile if I try fetish websites such as FetLife it's all creepy old men in my area, I'm 24 and would like to do this with roughly someone my own age...
Is there a Grindr for fetish dating? Or something better than Fetlife?
>I went to a diaper fetish meet-up and a bunch of guys there were also into this stuff and I just kept thinking how weird and creepy it was they were doing that
>and then I remembered I was sitting there in a diaper and onesie
>the really big cities seem to be good for munches and meet-ups. I don't want to sound conceited but I was clearly the best looking individual there. Not exactly the hottest crowd in the world
>is there a grindr for fetish dating
Yes there is, OP, it's called Recon.
Just a comment on Fetlife's structure: it was expressly intended, in its architecture, /not/ to be a dating website (although of course it is possible to set up dating/hookup groups, this was never its intended primary function). Rather, it was intended as a free alternative to normiebook and porn paysites, for people who do kink IRL and run/want to go to RL groups, parties, etc, and talk shop. The culture of the site is set up such that women can easily withhold information about themselves, but any straight guy can also set up. Of course, gay men can find each other much more efficiently elsewhere. So if you're a gay guy with the impression that Fetlife was ever meant as a hookup app, you'll be doubly disappointed.
I've been to a handful of events over the past few years (two different clubs), which expressly billed themselves as anything-goes i.e. straight sex, gay sex, etc. And the organizers meant it and were cool about it. And this, because the organizers themselves were largely bisexual-ish people, so that's exactly the type of thing they wanted to be part of. Being biscum myself, I appreciated this.
However, it's pretty obvious that such events hold much less interest for a kinky gay guy who is serious about wanting RL degeneracy, who can just self-select himself down the street to, say, the leather bar. And so the above local clubs vs. gay male interest sort themselves out very quickly. The people know each other and are usually cordial (here anyway), but obviously they just want different things.
Thanks for the info, although there doesn't seem to be much aspect of that culture around me, I will bear all of that in mind.
I was kinda hoping an easy way to meet someone online with similar interests even if it meant travelling to meet, but I think I had exactly the misperception of Fetlife that you mentioned.