I'm trans and I know a lot of other trans people, MtF and FtM.
Some are pretty hardcode aiming for a full transition, some are more lowkey about it, some are just starting.
I have a local group I attend too.
I personally had no 'outside ' reason to be trans, I just never felt like I was really "me".
This got worse and worse throughout puberty till I had to face the truth.
Maybe this makes it hard for me to understand other cases, but I have people in my social group that I'm pretty sure are trans because of other issues they have.
One is a MtF that had been heavily molested and abused in her youth by male family members, incl. having to live in a cold basement most of her youth.
She is afraid of other men touching her, talking to her, being alone with her in a room and a fuckton of other things.
I just can't help and think that she's MtF because she has a problem with being the same thing like her abusers.
I know FtM who just want to be a man because they can't stand the way women are treated in their society.
MtFs who think being a women is some dream-like thing where you can be a cute being everyone wants to love and treat like a princess instead of having to face what society seems to expect from a man.
I know I'm rambling there, but I sometimes ask myself if in such cases it's really good for them to aim being trans.
Because the real issue is something deeper that isn't really fixed by transitioning.
Do you know other trans individuals like that?
Maybe you think you are like that too?
I'm really not trying to be a dick here, I'm just curious how common this is and if people who are like that, and are aware of it, still think it was the right decision.
>I have a local group I attend too.
How's the group like?
Do you see many
>MtFs who think being a women is some dream-like thing where you can be a cute being everyone wants to love and treat like a princess instead of having to face what society seems to expect from a man.
-like types there?
When I was 7 years old, I went to a summer camp with all boys. My birthday was in the summer so the camp counseler decided to make me a cake on my birthday. We happened to be going to six flags that day, so we drove in the camp vans, 12 kids per van and when we got to six flags, the camp counseler playfully told me to stay behind. We got back into the van, just him and I and he jokingly said "it's your birthday. Wear a dress!" and made me wear this little princess dress made for toddlers. He then pulled out the cake he made for me and gave me a slice, asked me about my home life, my mother and father and the like. Eventually he urged me to sit on his lap, which I did and he slowly started sliding his hand up my leg and touching my penis. At the time I just felt really embarrased, but I had no idea that anything was wrong with what he was doing. Anyway, at around 12 years old, I would dream of being "sissified", made to perform humiliating acts on men and fapped to male-female body swap scenes often. Eventually, it turned into Lesbian porn for me because I just couldn't relate to the male perspective. I started to hate my body and at 21 made the descision to get on hormones. I haven't ever told anybody about my molestation and probably won't ever, but I'll be damned if it didn't have anything to do with my AGP or my transexuality.
I'm not going to pretend these things don't happen - they do - but I think we're prone to seeing these sorts of things, especially in others, but also ourselves, to an extent.
When making these judgments about others, realize that being trans is, socially, less acceptable than almost anything else. It's less OK than being a fetishist. It's less OK than being openly bigoted. It's less OK than being flamboyantly gay, or being a sex-segregationist, or even liking anime.
So, when you suspect someone of transitioning to avoid some other issue, you're probably wrong.
Far more likely is a trans person using any excuse at all to avoid facing being trans. Because if you're just a fetishist, all you have to do is indulge it and move along (like works so well for the "AGP" crowd). Or it's just dissatisfaction with gender roles, and living, acting, and seeing like a dude will totally make go away, as every FtM will agree totally fixes everything.
Transitioning kind of sucks. Almost no one is doing it for the "wrong" reasons.
Well i tough that i was AGP for a long time.
But every time i think about "just moving on" with that "fetish", i remember i can't live being a man, being like this.
Some time later, i wanted to do all the things i like. Play guitar, skateboard, mountain bike. But as a girl. Wearing cute clothes. With a long, dyed hair. A pink Hoodie maybe?
i've tried to stay away from /lgbt/ and everything that make me remember of this. But the feels came again.
So, if i'm going to transition, i must've doing it by the right reasons. Because i want to be cute. Happy. A girl.
Because i can't stand living as a man anymore. I just hate my body.
It's a wild mix actually?
We are roughly 20 people, give and take a few, various types.
Some are already trans for years, others are just starting. You got your hons, the ones that already pass a few months into hormones, we even have one, two of the crazy Tumblr kind (sadly, don't come often often though).
We have at least two MtF that are 100% like that, had some shitty mediocre life as a dude nobody cared about and they now hope being a cute lesbian might work out for them.
Thanks for your story, that sounds pretty brutal.
Did you ever think about bringing this up in therapy or anything? I mean, carrying this around with you for so long (and having this feeling it might have pushed you to other things in your life) must be a pretty heavy burden.
I think it heavily depends on where you live too and your social circle?
I get what you mean though, it's not an easy decision to make, and I also don't want to imply that or judge these people, it's their decision.
I just think that being trans is a risky solution to certain problems.
Like, when I was heavily molested by man in my childhood, raped and held in some cellar down to a point that I can't trust men anymore it's clear that I hope being trans would sooth my paranoia about being "one of them".
Would that person be trans too if such a heavily fucked up thing wouldn't have happened in their youth?
And is being trans the right decision?
I'm rambling again but I hope this makes sense.
Again, didn't want to sound like a dick, just curious.
I know how much it sucks to be trans at time, but it's hard to bring up such topics offline without people losing their shit.
I know how you feel man.
Puberty was hell for me for the same reasons.
Thanks for sharing, hope you will feel better some day.
youre reversing cause and effect
trans people are more likely to be fucked up and have abuse in their past because theyre gender nonconforming in the first place
im trans because i dont want to be a man, pretty simple rly
>trans people are more likely to be fucked up and have abuse in their past because theyre gender nonconforming in the first place
That honestly doesn't sound right, especially when you think about younger children.
Sure, some are just glaringly obvious trans/gay from an early age, but there are enough people who lived a normal life till a certain point who still got abused and from then on everything went down.
>That honestly doesn't sound right, especially when you think about younger children.
There are people who take advantage of the vulnerability and isolation that gender non-conforming kids typically experience. Plus, they already have a secret that can be exploited by fucked up adults due to their inability to share it with other adults (who may be bigoted or violent).
>but there are enough people who lived a normal life till a certain point who still got abused and from then on everything went down
I'm sure you can produce statistics on this or something. If not, this is the equivalent of "It's true because I think it's true."
I'm, again, not saying that can't be the case, but I'd like you to consider how else these issues tend to be dealt with and give serious thought to why a person would not pursue those (often much more common) strategies instead of transitioning.
Most often, victims of lifelong abuse don't transition. They tend to either justify their abuse, to internalize the blame as theirs and continue to seek out abusive relationships, or to violently reject their abuse, and seek out relationships in which they can be sure it won't happen again (they become the abuser).
Those are both unhealthy strategies, but they're what people DO to handle that sort of trauma without substantial emotional and mental support in working out a better answer, traditionally.
Again, I don't doubt that there are people who are transitioning because of stresses that could be answered in some other fashion. I just think that cases where such people are not ALSO trans are vanishingly few in number. Transition regret rate and reason across case studies doesn't support a substantial population of erroneous transitioners.
Thankfully, standards of care for transgender patients in our day and age include psychiatric care. Hopefully, even those of us forced by unresponsive systems to self-med are wise enough to seek therapy regardless. The noise in the trans generals suggests that even on a place as frequently unhealthy as 4chan, that's still what is recommended and followed.