I've considered myself bi for a while but I've only ever been with men, however I recently realized I don't like men as much as I thought I did. I have never enjoyed giving blow jobs, and I can't orgasm from penetrative sex. So I've come to the realization that maybe I need to explore. So how do I know if I'm actually lesbian or going through some phase?
i'll post a girl pic and u'll tell me if u thuink it's cute
this is the first one
Labels for sexuality aren't these concrete/immutable things. Sexuality is all wishy-washy, it's really more about what label makes you the most comfortable. Like if you don't think you're really into men and you'd feel less weird calling yourself a lesbian, go for it.
I agree with this.
Also for the record most women don't get off on penetrative sex alone so don't think you are weird for that. Also many people don't really enjoy giving head. Both of these things are totally normal!
It's kinda simple. If you find women sexually attractive and don't find men sexually attractive that's lesbian. If both that's bi. And some people just aren't that sexual in general. It's all tumblr spectrums and junk. Don't feel shitty if you aren't 100% hot or cold or whatever you think you ought to be.
A way to figure would be trying to look back and see whether you found those men or men in general sexually attractive or if they were just bad in bed. Then see if you find women sexually attractive. Go try being with one, explain you're bi curious or bi or questioning or don't use any label, just make it clear you aren't ready for a relationship if you aren't. Ya know honesty or whatever, chicks dig that. Try going down, eating pussy is some pretty standard lesbian shit. Try watching porn and see where that gets you, forhertube is a decent enough place for lesbian porn, see what gets you wet.
You know, I have to agree, I don't like to label things either. But as someone who's never thought of myself as anything but straight for a long time, I'm starting to realize like I've been lying to myself. I am not sure what I am lying to myself about, but I just fell that way. Either way, I am very confused at the moment, and I really appreciate getting advice.
On a related note, I also agree that none of my past boyfriends have been very good lovers. Or at least I don't think so. And honestly, I wasn't that great of a lover back. I guess that since they never could get me to orgasm, I never felt like putting in the effort. Or maybe I am lying to myself again, at least that's how I rationalized it.
Either way, I began to realize that I like to check women out, occasionally I'll check out a guy, but to be honest, I've never been a very sexually driver person. That's not to say I don't masturbane everyday and watch porn (mostly hentai or anal), but i just don't have the desire to rip someone's clothes off and start sucking dick or start licking pussy. It's just not my personal preference to have my face that close to genitals of any kind. But thats also not to say that i wouldnt wanna get that done to me. I checked out some lesbian porn and honestly, most of it is geared for guys, so it's nasty to me. And some of the porn for the female audience also grosses me out. But some of it is okay, just how i think even some straight porn can be okay too. That being said, what even am I then?
It makes you a normally sexual person. Everyone has different turn ons/offs, different sex drives, different ways of looking at people. Freaking out about "oh god what does it mean" is how most queer people react when they first acknowledge their queerness, so that's normal too, but there's pretty much nothing to be gained from stressing about it. You'll land on a label you feel comfortable with, or maybe it'll even shift over time, and that's okay too. Just trust your gut and things will work out.
Thanks stranger. But its not that I'm worried I don't have a label, I could care less if they call me the purple flying cabbage leaf. I just want to understand who I'm attracted to, but at this point it doesn't seem like either gender would want anything to do with me since I don't like going down.
There is another level of complexity here, which id like to point out and havent mentioned yet. There is one particular person who I want to be in a relationship, whose dick I would totally suck, or do whatever else, if only I could. But unfortunately he is gay, always has been and always will be. And I think it's causing me to go through some kind of mental break. I know I should just forget about it since it's obviously never gonna happen, but unfortunately I can't just forget him, because he also happens to be my best friend. And honestly, if I can't be with him, I don't really think I wanna be with anyone at all.
Anyways, that's the whole situation.
I'm not sure if my feelings of rejection from my best friend are making me hate guys, or if I've just started realizing that I like women more now. Thats the distinction i wanna understand right now, but im really not able to understand my own situation clearly.
Well, you're gonna have to work through that one in your own time. In general I'd say that desire doesn't lie, and it's legitimate however it manifests. But it can be hard to snap out of infatuation - my suggestion would be to talk to your friend about it. It's not healthy to hold those kinds of emotions in.
>I have never enjoyed giving blow jobs, and I can't orgasm from penetrative sex.
Neither are requirements for being straight/bi. Are you attracted to men? If yes, you're bi, assuming that you're attracted to women. Your orientation isn't defined by your actions. Also, it doesn't matter, just do whatever makes you happy.
I mean, I've never been down there so i wont know if i like it, or women in that case, until i try it, but like I said before, I really don't like having my mouth anywhere near genitalia.
classic pillow princess. it will limit your dating options, but you should disclose this early in a relationship. some people don't like receiving oral; find them.
Eh, again try it and find out. I'm a lesbian and I remember the first time I thought about it I thought the most I'd like to do was fingering. But then the more and more I thought on it, plus porn, made me realize yeah I'd go down. Then trying it and I pretty much came just from going down on another girl. Also orgasming makes me wanna go down or at least make out thoroughly after.
Goddamn there's a porn I wanted to link but I never saved it. It's this qt black girl giving a cunnilingus tutorial on some other qt girl with the prettiest damn pussy and piercings. Fuck me someone else got it?