> Have guy friend
> Handsome, amazing individual.
> Not a lot going on career wise but he works hard and is trying to build his life.
> Smart, funny.
> Every little thing he does is just amazing. His smiles, body language, laugh, attitude, they all set me on fire.
> Talk together all the time, kinda best friends.
> He's currently going through some shit. Texting me about it.
> He's hurting/upset and I can't help him.
> Just want to go over there and hold him. Tell him everything is alright.
> He's not interested in me like that.
> He'll never be interested in me like that.
> I'll never be with him.
> Why even live?
Everyone has someone they can't have, but they want terribly. Who is he /lgbt/?
>Who is he?
Sam. He is a boy who lived down the street. We were both raised in a small town to stay in our yards, and we did not meet until one day we did. How? I'd have to ask him. I was college age and he two years younger-- we were both 120 lbs and 5'7". I was pale with chin-length dirty blonde hair: an intellectual and a hermit. He was paler than me, to my jealousy, with shoulder-length raven black hair: he wore polo shirts and blue jeans. He knew how to grow a garden and was always reading something. He drew zombies and dark things. These were torn up by his parents, so I kept them safe for him. His father worked at a college and could have paid his tuition. He left his Amish home cooking and when I spent time with him, he reeked of cheap cigarettes and cheaper food. I wanted to take care of him, but it would have taken him away from his job.
I was the straight friend in this situation. After a breakup with a girl I dated for around 8 months he said he would come over to comfort me and hang out. He got me to cuddle him with some alcohol and slow escalation. I was so heartbroken and feeling so awful that I didn't resist like I should have. We cuddled for maybe 30 minutes and I'm pretty sure I cried for a bit. I wasn't really that into it but I was drunk. He ended up rubbing my thighs and crotch and it made me hard. I mean if anybody touches you down there you're going to get hard. He asked if he could suck me off and I said yes because I was drunk and had a hardon. It was pretty terrible and I remember frowning a lot and thinking of my ex, I can't even remember what he was like or if he was enjoying it. After I came I immediately started feeling really ashamed and even worse than before. I remember looking down at him and seeing my cum on his lips and wanting to throw up. I left right away and started avoiding him and not responding to his messages. I haven't had a conversation of more than a few words with him in maybe 3 or 4 years now even though for a while he was my best friend. When I see him I can't even look him in the eye and I still feel disgusted about the whole thing.
>I was pale with chin-length dirty blonde hair: an intellectual and a hermit. He was paler than me, to my jealousy, with shoulder-length raven black hair
That one hit too close to home
He's my ex-fiance. I came out to him recently after spending our whole 8+ year long relationship trying as hard as I could to convince myself and the world that I was a normal cis, heterosexual woman (instead of a bi FTM). Transitioning was a dealbreaker for our relationship, but I finally got to the point where I realized I had to be honest with myself or I probably wouldn't make it until my next birthday without an hero-ing. I'm still so fucking in love with him, but now we can't ever be together. He's going to find me physically repulsive. It's killing me.
I can't stop thinking about the dog we'll never raise together in the house we'll never build together; the trip to Japan that we put off and will now never take together; how we'll never drive out to the country and go berry-picking together and then come home and bake a pie together again; how he'll never again give me one of those hugs that made me feel like we were so close and fit together so perfectly that we were two halves of a single person. I can't stop obsessing over all of these little details.
I wish I could be happier about the fact that I'm finally starting to transition, but it almost doesn't feel worth it to have given up the relationship I had for. I tried so fucking hard to make myself just NOT be trans for the sake of our relationship, but it didn't work out so well. Fuck this thread and these feels.
A friend of a friend. That's all he was when I met him and that's all he is now. When I met him I was in high school and I fell in love with him so hard that I would spend all day thinking about him sometimes.
He was openly bi. I was still closeted. I could swear that he was flirting with me a couple of times. I had so little to be afraid of coming out. All of my friends and family where so accepting. If only I had had the guts back then to have just come out and asked him on a date it would have happened. I know because he told me a month and a half ago when I asked him out.
He is in an (heterosexual) open marriage with a kid now. He's underemployed and just scraping by, and has given up on his dreams of getting a phd and teaching. When i asked him to go out with me he told me that when he was a teenager he got taken advantage of by some older guy, and it made him lose all desire to be with men.
In some ways, I wish he had told me that he was just pretending to be bi for attention. I wish I could have asked him out back then only to figure out he was straight. Now I am faced with the torment of knowing that the only thing that kept me from my dream relationship was my own cowardice.
He is Russian, I am French. He is in his thirties, I'm 20.
I never give much attention to my needs and wanted to help him.
And I helped him, and I wanted him. And we had sex. But I was too young, he said.
We had more sex. But he was afraid of a relationship.
But he changed his mind as it became apparent that marriage was the only way he was going to be able to stay here.
And I questioned him for months on his intentions. He gave half-answers until saying he wanted an open relationship and showed me a future where I'd be an impoverished cinderella cuck.
I said no. By then I was estranged from all my friends. Two months later we met again.
No sex, but it felt like a new chapter. I asked. He said no because he needs someone who has a good situation.
But he let me sleep by his side, give him the same massages I always did, kiss his neck and nibble his ear as I always did.
And I exploded when he provocatively asked me what some sex terms he had received from some whore on grindr meant.
So I fuck my brain into his prefered contortionist position of "we're best friends".
And then he comes to me again, marriage etc. I love you platonically he says, the sexual aspect will come back once you've lost your child face.
He calls me hysterical when I punch a hole in his sofa because I was so angry at him not answering to me when in tears I was asking him if this was the last time we would see each other when I said "no" and he said he'd leave for a country he would die alone in as he had no other alternative.
But I came back as always. He snuggled up to me in bed in pain. We slept with the lights on. He said he felt like snakes were strangling him. I massaged him to sleep.
Kissed his neck and cried, with no witnesses.
And now the solitude is just too much. I feel hungry all the time, and I also feel hungry for attention, for interaction.
I go out at 3 AM and have happy tears in my eyes when the first tramp asks for a cigarette. I want death, or him. Or both. Yes, both
>who is he
hes the one reading this thread in bed with me right now