>enjoy being a girl online
>even train my voice so I can sound like a girl in games
>decide this is an indication that I need to take steps in reality
>get far enough in that I'm talking with a gender therapist
>begin to realize that I was just fine with being an online GIRL
>already out to everyone
I really jumped the gun and now I'm paying the price. It's been nearly 4 years since I actually confessed everything, and I never actually started transitioning (which is good because if I'd had second thoughts like this at THAT point, then, well...) but there's still a lot of issues that come with a situation like this.
On the bright side, my parents were pretty supportive actually (if a bit confused at the idea) but that doesn't make it much better.
Sorry if this seems like blogposting, but... well, what the fuck do I do now? Just tell everyone "hey, that was actually just a heat of the moment thing that I probably should have never said and ran with and now I'm regretting the past two years of my life"
Maybe it's a longshot but... anyone else out there in a similar situation in any way?
Oh and all the "YOU NEED TO TRANSITION NOW OR YOU'LL DO IT WHEN YOU'RE 50 AND END UP LIKE BRUCE JENNER" propaganda/shitposting can fuck off, I blame that kind of "hun" bogeyman propaganda on me wanting to jump into the deep end.
do you just want to be a girl online or do you also wear girls clothes and stuff? there is a line for everyone and many people just do private cross dressing or gender swaps with their partner. It is very accepted in the kink community.
If you just want to do it online then you could be just wanting the attention that comes with being a girl online. I know of a girl that played as a guy online so it isn't just one way either.
> and I never actually started transitioning (which is good because if I'd had second thoughts like this at THAT point, then, well...)
People de-transition; it happens. Honestly I think it's better to give hormones a try for a month or two and see how they make you feel rather than not knowing; at worst you'd end up with slightly puffy nipples if you decided to stop, and you'd finally know for sure.
Well, are you happy as you are now, or not? Would you be happier than you are now if you were a girl (or took on certain aspects of being a girl; it's not an all-or-nothing choice), or not? If you don't transition, do you have a sense of how you want to live your life?
> Just tell everyone "hey, that was actually just a heat of the moment thing that I probably should have never said and ran with and now I'm regretting the past two years of my life"
That sounds reasonable, except for the "everyone" part. Not everyone needs to have it explained to them, but yeah, everyone who does need to know could be told some version of that. Seeing as it's apparently the truth.
If you know what you are (a guy who likes cybedrag, sounds like?) then either be out as that, and be out as it NOW, or wait and come out more painfully later. If there are special practical reasons why you think it'll actually be easier later then fair enough, but otherwise, do it now. The longer you wait, the stupider it's going to get, for you to be effectively stuck in a closet just to prevent some temporary inconvenience and discomfort.