>never met another person I know is gay >too scared to ask guys that look like they might be >not outwardly gay enough for people to approach me >only connection with the community is /lgbt/ >I get to watch this board slow down until it no longer exist for the next few years >I don't even care about a relationship I just want to meet another gay guy just so I can confirm I'm not compleatly alone
>>5452654 >have a first crush on someone at age 21 >may have had some before but quickly repressed them >can't stop thinking about him >love songs start making sense and shit >the mere thought of hugging him and kissing his chest gives me a boner >try to sit next to him among friends, just feeling him close makes me happy >he will never know and if he did he wouldn't want to even see me anymore
>>5452654 > me > fairly popular > fairly cute. Can look sexy with my hair done right > always meet cute feminine looking guys > always straight > sometimes homoexoticly straight with me which makes things worse > all actually gay guys are fat creepy forward degenerates that stalk me and always ask for "cuddlez? :3" > TFW will never find a normal cute guy in this shifty rural city > TFW will always be surrounded by beautiful straight people who like me but not how I want to like them > TFW I should just kill myself
>bi dude >know this qt guy online >don't know if he's bi or not, seems pretty bicurious, says he's 'demisexual' or some lame shit, keeps getting fucked over by crazy women >we like all the same shit and get along great >start liking him and tell him this >he starts telling me he thinks I'm cute a lot >feel sorry for him getting fucked over so many times and just want to take care of him and I know that he'd be way better off with me as I'm an extremely chill person and know that we'd be happy together >keeps bitching and whining about how women fuck him over all over Facebook and how they're all jealous and emotionally fucked and never have the same interests as him >bitches start commenting all like "omgg :33 I wouldn't do that to uuu!!! I d only b jelous if u had a bigger slice of pizza den me x3 haha i luv watchen sports w the boys too lol!!!" or some gay shit >he is surrounded by usually fat beta female orbiters who he flirts with constantly despite being as bad as the women he's dated >can't tell if he's just playing me to get an ego boost as he's said before he likes getting compliments from guys >don't know if there's any point in pursuing him or if his stupid ass is destined to be a multi time divorcee with a drinking problem in debt to multiple women paying alimony and probably child support out the ass by the age of 40 because he refused to stop being a repressive retard and switch to guys >don't know if I can give up on him because he's all I think about
Why of all people did I have to become infatuated with this jackass
>>5453894 But the thing is, the dude just doesn't WORK with women, he acts like a faggot, he wants someone to pamper his ass and praise him all the time and treat him like the prince of England, women don't do that, women expect that from their partners, he'd just be better off with a man and won't acknowledge it.
>be 30 >still a dumb kid at heart >wanna sit around and play video games and drink beer >people my age want to talk about mortgages and investments >people younger than me call me granddad and say I'm past my gay death >just sit alone until I die
I feel like the gay community is never going to get its shit together when it comes to being gross and depraved and having such easy sex and we'll always be a stain on society. That and that homosexuality will be discovered to be pathogenic and we will truly be just a bunch of diseased faggots
>>5455627 Those seem really scary for people with social anxiety. My therapist wants me to start going out there and use apps such as grindr next year. I'm petrified... what if im just mentally ill straight man that has a penis fetish... what if the sexual encounter with another man will give me traumatic stress and emotionally scare me?
>>5455750 Yeah, I had that too. Make sure to not just meet with a stranger at first. Get to know him via messages a bit before meeting, it makes it easier.
My first actual date was with a chill dude (who turned out to be a bit crazy towards other people) and it helped me to overcome the fear of strangers. As I said he was a bit crazy from time to time, as in overly aggressive if someone somehow offended him. He was kind to me though and very understanding of my fears, so I got lucky I guess.
>>5455776 this tbhfam. you gotta make a choice: being happy or being comfortable. When I met that guy I was sweating like crazy, my face was as red as the mars, I was shaking and my voice was barely there anymore. That was throughout the whole date. It helps if he knows, that you're really nervous (I did not tell him, that I'm socially anxious though).
Most people seem to have something going for them, but I have nothing. I never had anything I wanted to be when I grew up, I had no interests, no field I distinguished myself in. So I just did what was required until I had to make my own choices which I never made.
No one was ever interested in me, and I lacked any confidence and felt inferior due to penis size and body size to make moves on anyone. After medical complications I ended up being admitted to a psych ward and most of my twenties was spent in therapy that never led anywhere because I was always treated by students or people not finished with their education yet.
Then I developed a problem with alcohol and although I'm out almost every night nothing ever happens. I'm not afraid of people not liking me I just feel like I'm a furniture obstructing people. Just a backdrop for other peoples lives. Everyone seems full of life even when they have problems it seems to run deep like they are really experiencing life and there will always be new exciting things around the corner for them.
Now I'm nothing and have nothing and is of value to no one, and there is only shit that has accumulated around me and all I have to look forward to is the day my parents and brother get so old that I have to take care of them.
>tfw too big of a pussy to come out of the closet >tfw too big of a pussy to put a pic of my skinnyfat body on grindr or to talk to anyone on grindr >tfw too big of a pussy to kill myself at least i have my video games desu
>>5452951 I was like you for a bit. But this board is a terrible representation of the gay community. Please, please don't allow the views expressed here to help form your own opinions as this place is toxic.
>>5452951 >dating apps >gay bars >gay clubs >csd it's not hard to meet other gay people if you really want to nowadays. if it comes down to it, go on holidays to a place, where a lot of gay people are.
>>5456359 Those things all give me anxiety, I'm not the anon you replied to but I can relate to him. In fact socializing and being outgoing terrifies me(unless I'm drunk, then I become very outgoing). Being such a hermit sometimes make me want to off myself... No wonder I abuse drugs and alcohol so much.
I get uncomfortable and uneasy around nonpassing trannies. I used to be a nonpassing tranny though and hate the people who were unkind to me for it. I'm now just accepting that more attractive people are always treated better in society and viewed as better people overall.
>tfw you finally come to terms with the fact that being attracted to the same sex is okay >and at the same time realize that you are too functionally retarded to ever hold a relationship together properly
At least I can admire pictures of female and male chests now
>There is a hot interesting single gay guy who lives on same floor as me at college >He doesn't know I'm homo >still hate myself for being gay >Can't make a move because I can't untrain the homophobia Bible belt taught me
>try a couple dating apps >Grindr, tinder, etc >try to find other gay guys to hangout/hook up with >literally only five gay guys between the two >mfw there is less than one gay guy for every ten squat miles around me
I identify as atheist for a long time, but I feel like I'll never get over the catholic raising my family gave me. I think I have two possibilities for a future: - Out myself and find a gf but live an entire life of fearing Hell and be absolutely frightened of it in my deathbed - Become a nun
>tfw all of your straight friends have either shown or sent you their dick pics >tfw they all look perfect >tfw they're bodies are amazing too >make jokes about fucking me sometimes >they call me "the only girl of the group" I'm cursed, I swear it. Having ugly straight friends or just having some fag-hag girl would be better than this eternal hell.
>>5469238 Yea brainwashing will do that to you. Real talk tho there's lots of shrinks that specialize in that area, adults with fear of XYZ caused by religion. Maybe seek one out? Cuz no athiest is scared of hell.
>>5472038 That's how I identify as, since rationaly I've abandoned christianity and don't really want any business with it. But I'm afraid that neither my faith or my irrational fear of Hell will ever leave me. Maybe I'll never truly be an atheist.
>want to have a relationship where I can be flirty with my partner, be naked in front of my partner and have them be naked in front of me, and cuddle >think sex and kissing are disgusting, and don't want to feel pressured to do either
Suffering. Also suffering:
>want to have a relationship where we can be really brutally honest with each other instead of pussyfooting about everything to be polite > am actually too sensitive to recieve this treatment irl because I cry about damn near anything
Don't know if I should greentext or just write it as is
Went out today, listening to music all the time. Constantly seeing couples- couples everywhere. Walk around looking like some lonely depressed twink with a bit of facial hair /killmyself Imagining meeting some guy while walking through the city, making some shy eye contact with guys. Feeling like shit. Feel like getting home and writing stuff to get it out my chest. See one or two gay couples in the city, and like 4 guys on a subway train who seemed so happy and gay. Envy them. Start picturing me with a gun pointing it at them and expressing the anguish I feel at the world for being gay and alone. Remember that grindr isn't for me, and thus I will probably never get a nice comfy boyfriend if I stay in this place. I just feel like moving to the US or somewhere.
It's new years eve and I'm all alone writing some boring shit while listening to music. Now I'm gonna drink some liqueur.
>>5473221 An online friend of mine recently got a bf and he admitted recently that although the boyfriend is a great kisser, he (the friend) personally hates kissing. It's his deal, but I personally can't imagine being with a nonkisser for more than a one night stand, desu.
>>5453875 call him out on it?! I know it's hard, but you have three options: 1, just let him fuck around and do stupid stuff, get heartbroken in the meantime and be there for him when he's ready; i.e. have no spine 2. stop talking to him and deny yourself the chance of getting together with this guy 3. talk to him about it, make clear where the two of you stand.
I'd go for 3. Sure, it's hard in the moment to talk about something like that. But quite frankly, these are your feelings, that get hurt, take care of that. He may not even realize, what's going on at all and that it means something to you. As someone who thinks very differently than other people let me tell you, that it's best to just talk about things that bother you; not everyone has the abilities to see through everything, if you don't talk about your problems, you may not be able to solve them.
>>5454135 you probably haven't been intimate with the right person then. I used to be very awkward when it came down to that. Up to this day I still kinda dislike when people just touch me out of nowhere. My bf however was so understanding and kind to me, that I could drift into that state of intimacy without feeling any weirdness at all, and I love it.
>>5454448 people tell me, that I should have kids one day. I'm relatively handsome, intelligent, rarely sick. I think this kind of thinking is vain though. Ironically I keep telling my bf, that he has to pass down his amazing genes because he's just such a big fucking win.
>>5452654 >ftm >getting older >no longer look like a twinky underage boy so gay guys never hit on me anymore >can't have a real penis because phalloplasties look like shit and cost $60k >will never jizz all over someone's face without a shitty awkward obviously fake dildo >don't have a good job so I can't afford a sugarbaby
im fat, have been my whole life. turning 20 next month. started coming out to a few close friends recently. Im fairly sure my weight gain and overweightness can be attriubuted to the fact that i'm closeted gay. I don't want girls to hit on me because i dont want to A) tell them im gay B) tell MYSELF i'm gay (until a few years ago) and C) end up getting with them only to have a soft penis and have to deal with that, so i subconsciously put on weight so that nobody will ever love me, not even my self.
>>5452654 this isnt relay a self/gay hate thing but a secret story >be under ix years old >cousins family are visiting >grown ups went to go shoping >brother went with him >Literaly me and him alone. >some how ended up on a porn site >both arroused >both of us jerk off and switch halfway >get harder while jerking him off >saw in a the porn vid about sucking dick >wanted to try >ask him >he agreese btw cousin is 2 years older then me >about to suck his dick >family comes homes >everything went back to how it was >looking back on it i realized how huge it was and how fucked up it was as well
So i just reached the bottom of the thread and realize all of the people on here are wimps basically. its either >im afraid of telling people that im x >doesn't realize 95% people in the world dont actually give a shit or >people live too far away to have a relationship >expecting that the oposing partie will do all the work >being this fucking stupid and not putting in effort yourself or >i look too x to get into a relationship >if you dont look like you've been hit with a sledgehammer several times and had your face melt off due to radiation your gonna be fine >my fugly friend who is atustic has a girl friend because he is genuinely an interesting person so >"im too boring imo" >this judgment is made by other on you >also if you want to get more into current things just pay attention to stuff in public
I want to raise a family, but I just cannot get sexually attracted to any woman. I also wouldn't adopt because I don't really believe being gay is natural despite what I try to force myself to believe, and wouldn't want to expose children to that kind of lifestyle.
Not like my love life as a gay man is in any way successful thanks to endless work, being very emotionally repressed, and anti-social.
>>5477603 try this one on for size then, fampai >have massive fetish that involves me being a woman >escalated to the point where I started taking tranny pills and can't get myself to stop >oh yeah still like girls >can't stop fixating on thinking of stealing and inhabiting the bodies of cute girls I see in public if being a completely perverted mentally ill freak isn't worthy of self-hate I don't know what is gays ITT: seriously it's [current year] nobody gives a fuck about dudes sucking dick anymore unless you live in gypsyland. live your life. and get out of gypsyland if you're retarded enough to live there. you're not even perverted or anything. also shoot me
>>5452654 >be dyke who wanted to ftm since 5 >live in country where pride parades end in blood >with night battalions beating and raping homeless homos >grew up with media telling me I'm mistake of god >can only get ldr bi gf >she's lived in liberal cities forever >doomed to end one day >aging >too pussy to kill self
Try some mirror work. Look at your self in the mirror and when your judgments of yourself come up recognize them but don't pay them any real mind. Look at yourself in the mirror and ask "which part of me do I like the most?" If you find yourself at a loss for words then force the issue by telling you just how awesome you are, because you are! You have to remember how awesome you are. Please try.
>>5481115 What's normal? Personally, I don't feel such a thing exists, and since your getting kicked out was in any way related to your coming out, then let me welcome you personally to the wild bunch. You're officially one of the freaks, and that's something you can take pride in. Be still and Know how beautiful you are.
>come out to my best friend in high school >he flips out telling me how disgusted he was for being around me for so long >tells me he cant believe he let me in his house or let me spend the night at his place(we'd been friends since elementary) >I'm fucking crushed >come to school the next morning >this one kid drags me aside and asks if I'm "really a faggot" >just look away and he laughs at me before spitting on me and walking off >all my other friends avoid me even if it's not because my former best friend told everyone I was gay >he did everything in is power to make everyone hate me >told them anything that he knew would make them angry at me >he's really charismatic and o can't convince anyone to not listen to him >sink into depression >attempt suicide later that year >get pulled out >go to school through some program where a tutor brings your school work from school and teaches you at home >depression keeps getting worse >attempt Suisse by hanging myself with an old belt >it breaks >my dad finds me crying in my closet with a broken belt around my neck >spend the night in an institution >eventually get pulled out of traditional school altogether and switch to an online program >get on some good medication that takes the edge off my depression and anxiety >everything is getting better >online school is the shit >extremely introverted anyway so I don't get lonely at all until a couple years later >slowly start realize I haven't had a friend in three years >realize I have never dated or even tried to date anyone >about to graduate later this year >why does this hurt so much? >I just want to be able to hold someone's hand at some point in my life
>>5482410 hey friend what are you doing about it? this is fucking mental torture and I want to die basically i'm now taking faggot pills and i hope you don't fall to my level i'm here to take cyanide pills with you if you do though
>denied possibility of bisexuality for ~10 years >unable to actually love anyone and form real romantic relationships >unsatisfied by meaningless physical intimacy >realize i love one of my close friends and he's the only one i can envision having a relationship with >he's straight >i can't get over it
>be me >work out and drop weight for 5 years >finally have ok body, let's start dating >realise my face looks like pic related (not actually me but resemblance is uncanny) >try to handle the dawning realisation that I will be marginalised and lonely for the rest of my life, because everything about my face says "defective model - please stay away" >let myself go, no fucking point in keeping fit anyway >4 years later, still depressed and miserable every single day
>>5482402 The only places that have pride parades are civilized, they have to fill them up with more mudslimes before they do it or it'll break the whole thing apart. Like, people would notice that #yesallmudslimes and then they'd go back to the middle of shithole with sand on their butts.
>At house party >Mixing with everyone >Good time, mostly high spirits. >Cute guy that looks kinda like the user Hitler here comes in. >Visibly checking him out, he notices >Comes back later "Were you checking me out earlier anon?" :-) >"maybe" >Hit it off from there and have a nice night with this flirtatious party goer.
>Then wake up in my room alone.
Why must dreams hurt so much? It isn't self hate, it is just disappointment. I've been in social circles unforunately none where gay people mix. It's very deflating to see people relying on Grindr/Tinder hook ups then wondering why they stay alone.
>>5487074 Islam detroyed 1000 years of Persian culture and replaced it with Arab supremacist garbage. Like all Jew descended religions it destroys whatever it touches. Christianity wiped out all native European religion. Jews straight up committed genocide on the Canaanites. Abrahamic faiths are like viruses.
Every two weeks, every other day, or every half day I turn into a limp wrist-ed feminine faggot. My voices gets higher, my body looks more feminine, I act more feminine and I can't fucking turn it off. I had to deal with this all of my life, its so annoying, I wish I was fucking noorr-mmaall.
>>5496184 That's actually really fucking interesting. What do you think causes it? Does it seem to be affected by what you eat or drink (possibly an external source of hormones), or correlate with any other things like allergies or something? It sounds like you don't like it (or at least don't like not having control over it), so maybe try to work out how it works.
>>5477377 >dad died 3 years ago >mom already has grandkids from a previous marriage >tfw guilty sense of relief that my dad won't be alive to look at me with disgust and disappointment because he's never gonna have grandkids
>Raised in a relaxed and accepting home >Become a strong Catholic >Time to go to high school >Friends seperate, and I'm left all alone >I'm optimistic >First week of school >I don't know anyone >Homeroom seat is the absolute back corner of the classroom >Surrounding me are all people talking with friends >Dog gets put down this week >Fucking depressed and scared >Flashforward to senior year >Have been hiding in bathrooms to skip lunch >Killing me. Want to be strong, but too scared of others >Huge question of faith as I try to hide day-by-day >Finally college- let's me be more of an introvert >Not a neet, still see my pre-highschool friends, but pretty introverted >Highschool scars wearing off >Have become really attracted to guys, likely because I crave someone assertive >Killing me inside, I want to break, but I want to adhere to my upbringing >Entirely emotional based attraction, just crave a figure >Break and go on grindr for the hell of it a month ago >Guy wants to meet up and cuddle >Want it, but extremely hesitant. >Breaking apart >Still keep in touch, and can go over anytime- essentially. >Scared, but longing >Hate myself for weakness, cowardice, and lust >But part of me thinks it's what I need to move forward
>>5497422 If you are a catholic you must believe in god, and thus in a predetermined universe. If so it doesn't really matter what you do as each choice will inevitably lead you to the place you were meant to go to anyway. You can go down that path kicking, screaming and scared like a coward or love your destiny. It all depends on what sort of show you will put on.
>>5474559 >be schizoid with schizotypal features >tfw finally getting life stable enough to look for a relationship but I'm probably too damaged for any grill to want me >tfw afraid that they can see right through into the black hole of batshit insanity inside me
>gay, bi bf >a few months ago he left me because he wanted a wide and kid >said that it was fun, but he wants to be a 'responsible' adult now >I tell him we could move to France or whatever (we're from a East-Euro country) >he says no, not worth it, doesn't trust me, plus according to him it would be playing house, a lie, a cheap knock-off
Maybe he is right. Maybe my dad was right. What was I thinking? Homosexuality might actually be degenerate and sub-human.
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