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Britbong Self Defence Gear
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You are currently reading a thread in /k/ - Weapons

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/k/ommandos I have a dilemma. Hoping you could help my bongistani arse out.

>move from white suburbs to mainly black area for uni
>go to supermarket to get milk and some straights
>brush past big black dude as he's walking out of the supermarket while I'm walking in, hear him say "U wot"
>ignore and continue to tobacco counter
>"Oi mate you just bumped into me back there. You got a problem wiv me m8?
>"Didn't realise, sorry mate"
>niggerstare.jpeg
>Do my shopping and walk out of store
>Notice same twat following me
>Pretend not to notice and walk back to hall, with him following me at a distance

I'm kind of worried about future trouble t.bh. Not the first time I've had trouble with blacks, they're always aggressive and looking for trouble.

I've already started weight training these past few months and plan on taking up boxing when term starts.

I'm 6'3" and kind of fat, but am fairly strong. Even so I would like an edge if there's trouble, though I'm under no illusion as to my own capabilities and will definitely get rekt in anything other than a 1v1.

What gear could I carry considering I live in Britain and carrying anything for self defence aside from a rape whistle is a criminal offence?

I was thinking maybe a belt with a heavy buckle or a load of cheap and heavy rings. Any other ideas /k/ommandos?
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>>28495491

Next time suck his dick, m8.
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>>28495491
Make a blackjack out of a thick sock/hat and a shitload of heavy coins. Be able to disassemble real fast incase of bobby
GL
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http://defensetech.org/wp-content/uploads//2010/01/TacPen.jpg

something that hurts alot when you hit him in the side of the face with
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>>28495491
>britbong's self worth saving
implying
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>>28495491
Sock full of pounds, padlock and shoestring, a screwdriver, think you Britcucks can only carry a inch or a half inch blade so something as big as you can get, think shank, go for stomach, upper chest, throat and face/eyes, fast.
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>>28495546

Pls no bully. I hate the shit self defence rules in this country, it's part off the reason why I'm moving to America when I get my degree. No guarantees on your free speech, more kebabs about everyday, c.ucked to the core. Pls don't hate because I dream the American dream family member. It wasn't my fault I was born in this limp wristed shithole.
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>>28495491
Two ideas for you.

https://youtu.be/3bXX8lsaaOo

https://youtu.be/r5YzsHKt-GU
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>>28495576
it better be STEM.
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Ive been considering buying a heavy padlock and a chain or a long bike lock for practical and self defense reasons. I can say the padlock is for my garden gate or lokcing my bike up, and I can say the long bike lock or chain is to lock up my bike.

If I put them together, I can swing it about in case somebody is threatening me.

Is this a good idea? If not, pls provide alternatives. I figure I can get most of the stuff from homebase or any DIY shop, really.
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>>28495603

History. Was a bluepilled faggot when I was choosing my degree, so I went with the whole "do what you like the most" bullshit.
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>>28495576
>it's part off the reason why I'm moving to America when I get my degree

It's really not that easy to "just move". Being a britbong, you can't enter the DV lottery. So, with some very limited circumstances, you have three ways to come to the U.S.

1. Marry a U.S. Citizen
2. Qualify for an L1 Visa - good luck with that
3. Have significant financial resources and be willing to start a business in the U.S.
4. Qualify for an H1B - do you like being a slave

Even still, these categories are non-immigrant visas that expire and you will be going back to the U.K.
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>>28495634
enjoy being a coffee barista
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>>28495634
>history
jesus christ anon, you brave soul
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>>28495658
>>28495664

I hate the fucking degree, I hate my past self for being a dumb cunt. I guess my best bet is converting in 3rd year to law, everyone needs a lawyer.

>>28495648

Better get my game tight and pull some US bird then.
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>>28495688
Well, we now recognize homo marriages, so you've doubled your chances.
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>>28495491
A spear
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>>28495491
I'm sorry lad, but self defense is almost illegal here. No taser, no stun gun, no knife, no gun, no pepper spray. Only thing we have is rape whistle and a colour spray that makes it easier for police to find our rapist/murderer unless they shower.
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>>28495634
History teacher it is
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>>28495712
Or an assault bike wheel
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>>28495688
How's your accent sound? You can drown yourself in pussy with a Brit accent if you don't sound like a chav.
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>>28495709

I could just play some homo and when I'm in divorce him. Give him some BS about no sex til marriage to protect my arsehole.
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>>28495751

Private school gud boi so pretty well spoken suburban accent t.bh. Regular Bentdick Cuminbitch here.
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>>28495491
>Britbong Self Defence Gear


Consent.
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>>28495748
>plastic knife is among the weapons confiscated
I weep for your people
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>>28495688
you could be brown and come over illegally, they youll get all the free shit

but youre probably white so no cool things for you
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>>28495748
Now I want to weld some razor blades to a bike rim.

>>28495753
Find some fem twink and be the top.
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>>28495753
It takes two years for conditional permanent residence, via marriage, to be converted to permanent. USCIS is pretty good at sniffing out sham marriages.

You could always come to the U.S. on a student visa for grad school. That will give you two years or so to figure out a way to convert that visas. There is a one year work visa available for those who came to the U.S. on a student visa.
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>>28495769
Yeah, as long as you're somewhat charming you should be good and not have to resort to some fat, ugly Doctor Who fangirl.
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>>28495781

>mfw when I guess I'll have to berry muh dik in twink ass for two years
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>>28495781
It took the Brits who made the GTA series still IV came out too become citizens.
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>>28495688
Don't dwell on the past man just look into the future.
sometimes it isn't worth it making brash decisions on degrees. I've seen it workout better for lumberjacks and plumbers later in their life going back to get a degree than kids chasing degrees.
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>>28495769
Bitches love tall guys. Work out and you'll have no trouble finding a yank girl.
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>>28495794

Charming as fuck when I'm pissed, otherwise I'm a person of few words, prefer my own company most of the time.
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>>28495491
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Millwall_brick
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>>28495806
There's permanent residence and citizenship. There's no direct to citizen route. Permanent residence lasts for 5 years before you can apply to become a citizen, and it will take up to 2 more years for that to be approved. So, it' like a 7 year process to become a U.S. citizen.
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>>28495802
Win win
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>>28495809

Well I'm gonna work my arse off to make the law thing work. If I can get into contract law I'm a made man, though I know what you mean with the trades. My uncle is a plumber and he fucking kills it, can afford to lay deposits for his kids flats and buy german whips. Then again my best mates dad is a contract lawyer and lives in a 4 storey house, has 3 Mercs and owns a property portfolio worth 4 mil.
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Get a job teaching History in the states m8 when you graduate.
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>>28495491
>carry around a padlock and paracord
>impromptu flail
>no officer I just carry around a padlock in case I need to lock something
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>>28495864
Unless you have a PhD, teachers do not quality for any visa program since undergraduate history degrees are common, not in demand, and are not deemed to be a critical shortage.
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>>28495841
>can afford to lay deposits for his kids flats and buy german whips
>buy german whips

Is that a euphemism?

Worst case scenario cultivate a persona as an eccentric history buff and start walking around in mail vest.
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>>28495893
Just say your bike was stolen.
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>>28495903
means german car,

you might see anon driving a german whip, blacked out windows leaning backwards
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>>28495898

Sounds good. A lot more reliable than trying to not be divorced by some bint for two years.
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Think blackjack made out of change is the best option, just empty the sock in your pocket and lose the sock, or empty the change all over and put sock in pocket, or toss it of not seen. Hairspray and lighter?
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>>28495932

How reliable is the aerosol/lighter combo. Will the fire actually stick?
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>>28495941
because it is a aerosol and not spewing flaming liquid, it won't stick. Spiting some fire in his general direction is a guaranteed way to scare the shit out of him and maybe light up his hair/first degree burn his face.
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>>28495491
Under UK law you may not own ANY item for the purpose of self defense. However, if you just so happen to be interested in certain items and they just so happen to be good at self defense... Well, what an unexpected turn of luck for you!

Knife laws:
You may carry any and everything provided you have a GOOD REASON, remember, this is a good reason for the copper that stops you, you can;t scream "MUH RIGHTS, MUH BURDEN OF PROOF" at the guy and expect to get away with carrying a harpoon in the middle of Leicester (also cos we're a cucked nation without any rights). So if you're hiking in the lake district and you have a fixed blade on your person, that is totally reasonable as field craft would be an acceptable excuse.

You do NOT need a reason however to carry any non-locking, folding knife, with a cutting edge (the sharpened bit, not the length of the metal) of less than 3".
Some good options are the UKPK by spyderco, and the Boker Plus XS. Beware, as they're non-locking, the chance of having the blade close on your fingers is something to be careful of. The two knives mentions have a little finger grove/choil thing to prevent that from happening but it's still a possibility, second thing to mention is the Boker is super stiff so it's a bitch to open compared to other knives, but once you get used to it it's alright plus its another line of defense from chopping your own fingers off.
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>>28495563
>screwdriver
enjoy getting a longer prison sentence than muslim rapists
>>
OP here, made a blackjack out of all the coppers in my money box. Was thinking of getting cheap rings as well, any help as to where from whould be appreciated. Looked into knives under 3" but you need a "good reason" for one of those, and self defence is not one of them so that's out. The wrench/umbrella and fishing weight club would count as offensive weapons here, so it's a no to those. The blackjack I can justify as the thing I carry my change in, which makes sense as my wallet has nowhere for change anyway.
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>>28496067
Here's a pic
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>>28496041

Other options:
Heavy pen, those things hurt when used right and in the right areas, strike for bony areas like the skull, hands, joints, avoid center mass as it's usually squishy, DO NOT get a "tactical" pen, they're designed for striking people and your legal standing will be compromised, just get a big normal one

Torch. I had a 3 quid one i bought off amazon and it fit perfectly in my hand meaning harder punches, and an innocent striking edge.

Lots of keys and tools on a keyring, and get on of those plastic fobs (pic related), this will allow you to keep retention and swing it like a flail, causing both blunt force and some lacerations depending on what you have on there. Added benefit of no one could ever pull you to one sided, search you, find the keys and nick you for 'possession of an offensive weapon'. Ever. We're a ridiculous nation but there are limits.

A lot of other anons' ideas could get you in trouble, hell even carrying a UK legal knife could land you in some hot water because the police do not know the laws and those of us who EDC are in the minority. >>28496067 that would count as an OW
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>>28496067
>>28495491
get a cheap steel watch with and expanding wrist band. you can quickly slide it down to cover the knuckles and backhand a motherfucker with the steel watchface. besides who would think twice about a guy wearing a watch.
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>>28496072
I would advise maybe if it could work doing that in a little bit long knit or wool pull over hat. But the sock is fine, maybe don't carry it tied( tied would give it away) but a bit more in it.
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>>28496077

Do you reckon my whole "it's a thing I keep change in honest to God officer" thing won't fly then?
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>>28495491
As a britfag myself I recommend you undergo a quick training course in spatial awareness so you don't bump into people like a cunt.
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>>28495491
You are sheltered and lack experience with aggressive encounters so naturally you overreact. Continue to train. The more your spar the calmer you will be in confrontations.

Get pepper spray if you really think you need it, but you sound soft. They're always aggressive towards you because you allow them to be.

Harden up and stop looking for a tool to compensate for overreaction in a minor confrontation.
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>>28496067
>>28496041
>>28496077
Realized I just made all my good points sound pretty bad. You said you're well spoken so as long as you're within the law you'll be fine, your best bet is a sub 3" folder or the key tbqh family
(What Uni btw? KCL here)
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>>28496125
I say the hat thing I said would work better and maybe say you put it in there too take too deposit it in your bank and mention your real bank too them.
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>>28496119

I tried it on myself and a light hit hurt like hell, and that was on my fat stomach and not my head or something. I can unknot it and carry I suppose. Maybe I could keep the coins in a sandwich bag like I used to and wear a beanie. If some cunt wants to throw down I chuck the sandwich bag in the hat and start swinging.
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>>28496138
you don't need to carry a knife in London unless you are a little bitch desu
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>>28496131
>>28496136
2nd except for the pepper spray, that's under the same class as a full auto or pistol lol
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>>28496131
I've literally never heard of a spatial awareness course. What are they?
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>>28496142
Are you trying to make me laff m8?
bunch of dry dicks in here jesus
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>>28496142
Sounds good. And use the bank excuse and maybe really do for that set of change just in case.
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>>28496136

You're probably right, but until I've got to that level do you reckon a tool is a good idea? Seems so to me, these people act aggressive regardless of how I act (had some confrontations when drunk and therefore giving zero fucks) Pepper spray is illegal here btw.
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>>28496158
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>>28496138

What you studying senpai?
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>>28496131

Yeah mate you can fuck off though. Our shoulders barely brushed, we were both wearing puffer coats so It was literally his puff part on his shoulder brushing my puff part on mine. The cunt was overreacting.
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>>28496148
>need
SHALL NOT BE INFRINGED, FAGGOT

besides, who said I carried a knife?

>>28496125
If you're explaining to an officer why you have it, then you've probably used it. Most people don't carry around change in a spare sock which could be a little awkward to explain, unless you're homeless or something. Knives would also come under the same category but they have alternative uses and are omitted specifically by law which might give you an.. edge...

Hat could work well if you don't mind the bulk or the possibility of the change spilling out into pockets/the street when drawn.

As always, only fight if you have to.
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>>28496180
>Arrive Alive

I don't know why but this made me laugh
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>>28496205
CompSci

You?
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>>28496177
A tool is a good idea but in your hands i think its a bad idea. I don't know how the UK legal system works, but it sounds incredibly difficult to justify self defense.

I think the likely hood of you going to jail for using an object for self defense is greater than you actually having your life in danger. Its tough, but it is what it is.

Work on fixing your mind and body before going for a weapon/self defense tool. The tool is only as good as the person who wields it and you are not up to par.

Just keep training.
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>>28496265

History
>>
Rape whistle and anal lube. Make sure neither has sharp edges.
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>>28496302
You can goto prison if it's too lubed or not lubed enough.
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>>28496228
>overreacting
>asks for advice on self defence after a black man was rude
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>>28496264

I guess because the alternative would be "arrive dead"

>Oh John's here
>Shit he's dead
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>>28495809

>plumbers need a degree

Why? When I was a kid I thought poorly of plumbers. I thought they were hired only to unclog toilets.

Then I learned they mostly do pipework and make bank for a blue collar job.

Maybe if they're old and want to drive a desk. 20's - 50's plumbing is a viable career.
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>>28496321

After several episodes of bullshit of a much closer nature. I travelled late nights a lot due to my work, and I had some close calls with several peeps. Almost got in a fight till security chucked us both out on Thursday, due to me "looking like I wanted to start something". Mainly blacks, but cunts are cunts, I guess it's just a demographic thing.
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>>28496301
>Not sure if OP, or at Kings
>>
As you are fat get a walking stick "yes officer I need it to help me walk as my knees struggle to support me, its also the closest thing I had to defend myself"

Or a steel tipped sturdy umbrella "yes officer I was told it was going to rain so I thought I would take it will me in case, it was in my hands when I was forced to defend myself"
Thread replies: 83
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