/k/ humor thread

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...

>>28469105

If I wanted humor I'd have asked for your 1 rep max

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>>28469263

>>28469198
kekkest of keks

Anyone have the screenie from the roof Korean thread which says something along the line of "it's not about the Korean it's about the roof".

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anon deports some SJW's

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>>28469350

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rtFX3JBYsIg

>>28469544
This.
I'm livid.
Fuck

>>28469263
fucking hell not here too

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>>28469198
>how did he get diapers while he was deployed?
Please tell me that's not talking about what I think it is.

>>28469544
I wonder if that guy got any letters saying "Congratulations, you just destroyed your family history, as well as disgraced your father's legacy."

"Oh, and that gun was probably worth more than your fucking car."

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>>28470757

Muldoon's got good instincts, but he's still no good on the velociraptor. While indeed covered in nasty claws and teeth, it's literally the size of a wild turkey or obese pheasant. No tough skin or bone, either. Buckshot will turn it into pulp. Try birdshot if you still want to eat it afterwards.

Deinonychus and Utahraptor being bigger than you though...yeah, I'd say 7.62xAnything will do

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oc

>>28470898
7.62x25 sound good?

>>28469198
>a naked loli will never beat you with a barbed wire
why the fuck even live

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I thought magpul were not around in the 19th century

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>>28470930
Hehe I was in that thread. OP delivered too

>>28471011
That's surefire numbnuts.

>>28471011
OH MY FUCK THAT IS BADASS! I want one. NOW!

>>28471112
I lost it at shishkabob.
Fucking brilliant.

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>>28471147

>>28471155
That's a finn, right?

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>>28471164

>>28471173
The "/k/ are furries" meme goes beyond this place. I can't find a popular gun video on youtube without furry avatars in the comments.

>>28471180
Were you in the furry thread we almost got to bump limit the other day?

>>28471194
Yeah, didn't stay for the entire thing though. I was talking to the guy who bought his first dragon dildo.

>>28471199
For posterity

> https://desustorage.org/k/thread/28458058/#28460153

>>28471281
I guess OP never delivered huh

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>>28471288

>>28471011
So I guess someone else watches a certain Canadian Youtuber...

>>28471352
how else would I be able to end people rightly?

>>28469263
WHY CANT I ESCAPE YOU

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>>28471443

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>>28471421

every fucking time...

had similar experience when I was 16, petting with my gf, thinking about b29 bombers the whole time

>>28471505
B29 ugly
Buff are for me

>>28471456
Man I don't care how expensive 12 gauge is where he lives you do NOT need to hold onto rounds that have been dunked in shit.

>>28471524
Every
fucking
time

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>>28471505
kek, god dammit. Me too, one time I was buried in my gf's chest. And I thought to myself, I can't wait for the USP9 I ordered to come through and she asked.
"Whatcha thinking about?"
"oh you know, happy thoughts"
"they better be about me"
"what else would I think about?"
>mfw

>>28471505
>>28471562
One time I was getting dicked and after we'd started after like 5 minutes I just thought to myself "I should go to the range on sunday."

>>28471577
I was thinking about guns to keep myself from blowing my load too quickly, then I thought about the Finnish M39 I ordered and nutted.

>>28471127
>image named Le upboat cartel
>still uploads it even tho you got it from /r/classic4chan
fuck off

>>28471562
Dang.
I'm doing it wrong all the time.

>be me in two hours
>wife is picking me up from work, heading to a small shooting competition
>see her ass wiggle, while shooting prone
>thinking of double prone stages
>miss my own targets

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>>28469105

>>28471615
>tfw trying anal play because I kind of like the slutty feeling it gives you
>still hurts but I kind of like it more that way
>I'm getting close but no where near to finishing
>remember my range has 30-150 rounds of free ammo (depending on the round/shell) for it's premium members
>das_mich.gif
>adrenalin surge
>cum instantly and a ton too from pure anal stimuli alone

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>>28471421
timeless kek

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>>28471462
>>28471755
But what is the actual answer?

>>28469105

Classic:

http://vocaroo.com/i/s16YW0Suy9xv

>>28471767
You don't lube the gas chamber
>It creates issues when you apply heat
>Like in an oven

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>>28471443
>fuck off kirk or you're not getting any sausage this year
>not muh sausage

Is this what rural 'murrica is like? If so, can I move in please?

>>28471983
more or less, yes

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>>28470930
Full version.

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>>28471421

Oh boy.

>>28471733
>I WILL DESTROY THE UNITED STATES
I choked on my fucking gum holy fuck.

>>28470930
That was a good thread.

>>28469105
Oh man. I remember that thread.

>>28469350
Pic is for ants, but story was funny.

>>28469263
What the fuck

>>28469544
On one hand, I feel like if it were done respectfully, it'd be a lot like burying someone with their rifle. It's as much a part of them as anything, so it's better they take it to the grave with them than it be held in the custody of someone who doesn't give a fuck.

>>28471112
10/10 "Your rifle has fought against itself and won every time"

>>28471237
>>28471199
>>28471194
>>28471180
>>28471173
Maybe furries aren't that bad after all

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Surprised no one has brought this up yet. This thread was a goldmine.

>>28472832
Finns are the masters of the forest tbqh

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Really feeling the hurt right now, but this was cool.

>>28471334
Hahahaha holy shot I'm dying... I wish I was that lucid when high

>>28471011
>Mister Hedgewick, how will we be snogging those bloody kebab munchers at night time?
>Fear not old chap I have it all sorted out

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>>28469544

>his dad used that gun to rid the world of tyranny
>used that gun to protect the constitution
>b-bbut guns kill


im not mad, im deeply deeply sad

>>28469105

I don't mean to shill, but I do Snake Requests if you guys wanna try me out

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1DCjJdDUN3u

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>>28469544
This isn't humorous...

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>>28473124

>>28472654
How new are you to /k/ if you haven't seen furry /k/ommandos before?

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>>28472654

>>28472832
>humor thread
>posts that fucking metal shit

>>28471524
Are napalm rounds safe to shoot?

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>>28469350
Holy shit I need the bigger version of this because that's great

https://youtu.be/-KTsXHXMkJA

>>28471334
Gets me every fucking time

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>>28472654
Careful with that, we really need to be reminded we're fucked up or we turn into total shitbags.

>A furry that's ashamed of what he is will be useful in order to atone for his sin.
>A furry that thinks his shit is acceptable is annoying as fuck.

Status quo is there for a reason.

>>28472030
[spoiler]Source on the "giving the knot" image pls[/spoiler]

>>28473214
Oh I have, not often, but I have.

>>28473871
I posted that one in that exact thread. I will give you it, but only if you give me a free image of your own, and tell me whether or not you would take the knot.

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>>28473871
Monster Monsune. The character is Polt the Kobold (and best girl)

>>28469544
If I was the guy who was smelting it for him, I would've switched it out with some cheap piece of shit and just kept it.

>>28472120
Clearly not the case, since s/he thought it needed redemption for being an evil gun.

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>>28473889
I think he meant the actual photo anon.

>>28473406
I have never owned a gun but i have seen that same gear-looking thing on pens.

And i just have the feeling that filing the teeth will just net me a nice paperweight

>>28473889
>running
>tits that big
>no apparent sports bra

She won't be running for long.

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>>28473929
I need more coffee.

>>28473938
Well, here are her measurements.

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>>28473889

>>28473944
>>28473938
>>28473929
>>28473889
Okay as much as I love jerking off lets not derail the thread too much

>>28471412
Someone seriously capped their own joke?

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>>28473956
k

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>>28473971

yes it is. :)

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>>28473968
I laughed at it so it's okay

>>28473971
We can make a C thread if we like. Good to know the Polt army is festering away here, ready for violent revolution

>>28473944
>86 cm

Like I said, big tits, for comparison, Hitomi Tanaka measures 116cm.

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>>28471443
>fuck off Kirk you're not getting any sausage this year
>mfw

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>>28474003
>Those mug shots
Oh lord I laufed.

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>>28474010
She's also 5,2 and with D cups, which makes them seem just ridiculous

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>>28474010
Also ~5'2" and ~112lbs. Fucking short stacked.

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>>28474003
>Bob

>>28471112
>Olga's toe nails
lol

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>>28474063
Polt gets a free ride because she's a woman with some fine tiddies and an ass that could crack nuts.

You should consider steroid abuse or becoming a dwarf.

Or maybe both....

>>28469263
Savage

>>28474062
>>28474063
Yeah, and looking at Hitomi's boobpedia page her other measurements are pretty close to kobold girl's up there. So if you want to know what she would look like in real life, imagine a furry Hitomi Tanaka with smaller, firmer tits.

>>28474003

Lost at splinter

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>>28474170
I know nothing about Mrs cyclops. Hell, I even stopped following monmusu after Cathyl was introduced. Just lost its appeal.

>>28474191
Sometimes /b/ makes good things.

>>28469105
Anyone have the one where a /k/ommando tried to make himself some sweet honey by capturing wasps?

>>28471405
wut

Requesting the nugget bolt prostate massager and/or the Glock up the butt

I've needed to use them before but don't have them

>>28471772
that gave me a boner.

>>28473207
I'M NUCLEEEAAAR

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>>28469198
>mfw canadian
>mfw a few american friends think I am hardcore for going out in a t-shirt and jeans at -9 Fahrenheit
Finland... Seriously wtf?

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>>28469544
> this was made out an AK 47
> they are made out of aluminium
> aluminium

god damn it
that 1911 gets me every time

> that shitty welding

fuck this

>>28472908

>someone screen capped my post

Well damn.

>>28474629

that thread was glorious, my friend.

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>>28471701

You're not a girl are you?

>>28471112
10/10. Any more like this?

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>>28474609

>>28474655

Would you a suppressor?

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>>28469105

>>28473207
"I'M NUCLEEEAAAR"

>>28469105
>>28469145
http://logs.omegle.com/cc1bdd7

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>>28475539
>http://logs.omegle.com/cc1bdd7

>>28471983
When I was in high school before weights class would start I'd chill with my basketball coach and trade deer jerky while browsing gun broker

>>28475539
Omegle is just sad

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>>28469105
what do you call an unwanted pregnancy ?
>Conceal Carry

>>28472030
Holy fuck, I laughed out loud. How bored does one have to be do that?

>>28469105
>/k/ humor thread
I got something hilarious for you fucks.

Someone gave me a Cold Steel knife, and I actually like it.

>>28469544
Fucking triggered why did you post that

>>28476179
Boo you suck

>>28473755
I do consider it a sin when I fap to furshit, and feel guilty as fuck afterwards

>>28472832
>cousin deathly afraid of the dark
Next time I get stuck babysitting him I am doing this. His mother will probably murder me afterwards, but his father will probably buy me a beer if I film it.

>>28473952
Sauce?

>>28476774
Upotte

>>28476845
Thanks a lot

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>>28476845
This looks like very much a /k/ anime to watch. How is it?

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>>28476933

Story wise: shit

My personal level of enjoyment: I FUCKING LOVED IT!

This is my RAIFU [AMV] special for /ak/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FyPH182_HEY

>>28476985
By story, do you mean narrative? Because this looks very much like a show that I should drop any pretense in it having one, save for it being high school gun girls doing things. Is it pretty much that? Gun girls doing things day-to-day?

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>>28477018
>By story, do you mean narrative?

It's slice of life, in general most on here don't like that. It is high school gun girls doing things, while being cute as hell.

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>>28477060
Excellent! I'll give it a watch.

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>>28477018

I had a smile on my face the whole time.

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>>28477039
>foreign legion

>>28477039
>Slam fire
>Old, heavy design that wastes wood

>>28469544
WHAT
THE
FUCK

that faggot burning his dad's 1911......

>>28476985
Excellent choice my friend.

>>28477161
first impressions of vice press

>>28476985
>1:45
Would one person hanging off the side be enough to right a car like that? (yes i know not to expect accurate physics in an anime, just curious about this one)

>>28473195
Didn't that OP got confirmed KIA and electrocuted for that shit?

>>28477315

Well it was a Trabant. That car's hood was made of fucking cotton. Gotta love commie-blok cars. :)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trabant

>>28477315

Forgot the ink in >>28477504

Jump to 7:55

https://vimeo.com/105422200

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>>28473027
>the man thinks the teenager was just trying to scare him
>but the teenager seems to state otherwise

>>28474298
Surprise SERE exercise

>>28477695
oh ok. the spoodermin caught me offgaurd.

>>28474584
>be southamerican
>-9 farenheit
>???
>-9 farenheit = -25 C
What the flying fuck, that's not even hardcore, that's something someone with mental problems would do

>>28477060
>It's trash.
Thanks for the clarification.

>>28472527
They each take a shot.

>>28474584
>mfw Ukrainian
>everybody I've talked to thinks I'm nuts for wearing a polo and jeans while it's 2C outside
>comfortable inside temperature is 18C
>I get weird looks when I show up to class in my polo/jeans when it's been snowing
I guess I have to move to Finland or something?
[spoiler]I live in AZ so it doesn't tend to get much colder than -15C during the winter where I am[/spoiler]

>>28477740
Let's be honest, most anime is worth little more than fanservice

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>>28477822
Ofc I forgot to attach a picture and forgot that spoilers don't work on /k/

>>28477822
In southamerica, the perfect temp would be between 20c to 25c (live in argentina)

I like cold, so i prefer 15c.

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>Not going on patrol with best girl

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>>28477875

How? Where? I NEED that in my life!!!

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>>28477891

>>28477899
Amiami. I got it on pre order.

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>>28477902

>>28477875
>all that stuff around the 92
You're either grill or have a grill

>>28477945
Have grill

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>>28477941

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more

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>>28478002

>>28477705
Officers get bored too

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>>28478002

>using "insurrectionist" as a pejorative

.........are these people aware of how this country got started?

>>28473207
I'M NUCLEEEAAAR

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>>28478022

>>28477915

What is it's actual item name?

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>>28471100
not /k/ and I might get b& but its worth

>>28478052
... not sure. Its under GATE JSDF merch

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>>28478050

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>>28478054
/k/ - sexual deviants

>>28478050
This is actually making me erect

>>28477732
>something someone with mental problems would do
Bienvenue au Canada.

>>28469544
>San Fransisco.

Never again.

>>28473207
I'M NUCLEEEAAAR

>>28477875
Strategic crop-job is strategic, tiny Victoria's Secret catalog owner!
I got the same captcha this time too.

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>>28476933
>>communist
>>left-leaning

>>28473944
im not a furfag but i would definitely fuck that thing

>>28478261
you dont need to be a furfag, you only need to be a hentai, like me, senpai.

>>28478070

it's on backorder. :/

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>>28477875
>warhammer
>paints

Good fucking job son.

>>28472832
genuinely rather inspiring

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>>28469350
fucking gold

>>28478308
Yeah yeah it was on back order for me too. The order was approved a few days later though

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>>28478322
>BALLS AND BONES BRIGADE ON THE MOOOOOVE

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>>28477875
I really don't like what they did with Kuribayashi's design in the animu. It's nowhere near as charming.

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Link: http://www.tucsonnewsnow.com/story/30906470/buying-a-gun-in-tucson-is-notas-hard-as-one-mightthink

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>>28478474
I honestly agree, but none of the manga designs made it into the merch, so we must suffer for it. I hate what they did to Myuute as well

>>28478542
you shouldn't leave your pics unnamed anon

>>28473207
>I'M NUCLEEEAAAR

>>28473755
Im a furry and I know it's not normal, so I don't tell people about it irl.
But I don't feel ashamed or anything, I just hide my power level.

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>>28478572
The army sure is getting quite dorky. I'm okay with this.

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Not sure if this pic is more /ak/ or if it's /k/ humor, but here ya go.

>>28478662
I miss my platoon.

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>>28478572
Tio's best, fuck the rest.

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>>28478734
huh, never saw someone spell rachnera like that but i guess its hard to type with so many dicks obfuscating your vison.

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>>28478734
>>28478796
I'm sorry, but Polt really is the best you can get (but Tio is great taste).

Hickok45 got banned again. Google is coming for your guns /k/.

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>>28478818

She reminds me of Galil from Upotte.

>>28478832
>Hickok45 got banned again. Google is coming for your guns /k/.

Haha sure, M8.

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>>28478832
Thought you were full of shit, but what in the fucking hell? He got his account back, and now they turned around and banned him again?

Fucking horse shit!

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>>28478832

Never mind my post at >>28478862

God damn it! Why did you have to be right?

>>28478862

see

>>28477261

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>>28473885
[spoiler]No.[/spoiler]

>>28478882

See >>28478878

>>28471577

Not as /k/ related but still

>be fucking gf
>one day orchestral music starts playing it head, can't stop it but can reset and change it
>really complicated and fancy stuff, haven't heard it before either
>soon I'm composing in my head more than I am trying to have sex
>now any and every time I'm in a sexual situation music starts playing, even fapping

And apparently I got better because of it.

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Klendathu drop in Mali

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>>28478656
I like some of the porn, but not the lifestyle. No one knows I enjoy it who can link my fetish to me in any way. Then today my coworkers started talking about furries at lunch and I was trying to maintain an exactly average amount of interest and not sound knowledgeable about it in any way.

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>>28479077
I have fraternity brothers that took me to a fur con just to people watch (Midwest Furfest), so my power level seems artificially high to most of my friends. Still doesn't help I beat to the porn...

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1/2

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>>28479146
2/2

>>28479077
>I like some of the porn, but not the lifestyle.
The artists are there because somehow that's where all the money for porn is.

>>28479077
Nobody likes the lifestyle. Yes, i enjoy porns of all kinds, furry, fag porn, illegal porn, but i still think that being a furry its something related to having a mental issue.

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>>28471443
>>28471443
>not muh sausage have a nice day

>>28477098
> Foreign Legion
I wish those days were still around, desu
Not many criminals get in anymore

>>28479366
My dream has been to try to get either to the legion or to the USMC, and reading more and more about how they cant take any more people because they are at their limit and they are not allowed to expand makes me sad.

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>>28479146
>>28479160
Fucking magical.

>>28471904
So THAT'S why his channel is down

>>28471112

Guys, where can I actually buy a Mosin that isn't auction.

>>28479893
Southern Ohio is selling them for 180

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>>28469544

>>28473207
I'M NUCLEEEAAR

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>>28473027
>let's not turn this rape into a murder
I'm so done

>>28469198
>watched the Finland-Russia game
>in mcdonalds
>burst out with "CYKA BLYAD" when Finland scores like a minute into overtime

Most autistic thing I've done in a long time but I was mad as fuck that Russia lost to those snow elf bastards again.

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>>28477370
yep

bear is kill

also, OP learned bear meat is greasy

>>28478034

They're afraid because Chris Mathews tells them to be.

>>28477809
bartender prepares more rounds for their friends

>>28480456
They all take shots. They end up so wasted they cant even get up.

>>28480396
>>28477370

There was an article about a amateur beekeeper dying from electrocution via fence around the same time beekeeper anon stopped posting. I remember wondering if it was him.

>>28478322
But, anon, that's a Warmachine piece.

>ctrl+f
>no kris vector rap

Post it pls, I lost the link

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>>28478734
>>28478818
Confirmed for shit taste.
>>28478796 gets it.

>>28480657
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3jXsye8-xow
Skip to 7:16. There's another one:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TrQTvyuFw7I
Skip to 17:00 on that.

>>28469380
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QEzhxP-pdos

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>>28480646
A wholly superior game and setting.

>>28480662
She's only best if you're big into BDSM. Tio is huge, cuddly, and could probably peg you senseless.

>>28480694
I <3 u

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>>28480662
Spider tits is pretty good, but hoers pussy is the best.

>>28469263
somewhere between 210, 225.

*sobs weakly*

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>>28480796
>>28480662

b-b-but muh cute sniper cyclops

>>28480814
>cyclops sniper

Terrible idea, unable to keep a second eye open for situational awareness, would have to keep the scope of the gun either angled to the side to be aligned with the eye or have the gun literally in the dead center of her face.

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>>28478796
>>28480662
>liking a parasite

>>28480814
is this a character from Kojima's upcoming Schmetal Schmear Schmolid game?

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>>28478834

>>28480841
Spiders aren't parasites, not any more than cats are.

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>>28480844
Betcha Kojima's new project is completely new now that he doesn't need to do a Konami sequel.

>>28480868
I'm sure, but I think the depths of his 'hate' for MGS is vastly overstated

He really genuinely seems to appreciate the fans, and their love of his works.

Do you think it'll be a spiritual successor to Snatcher/Policenauts?

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>>28480662

>>28480942
I remember when this comic was about girl dork Spiderman and not boring lesbians.

>>28480951
You must have missed the recent fight with Were-Quokkas.

>>28480951
I have only read to volume 7

>>28480955
You mean the fight that lasted all of three pages then returned to boring lesbians? Yeah, I saw that.

>>28478474
all they had to do is ripoff haruka's design from love hina, it's fucking easy

>>28480964
There's some pretty serious stuff coming up, not just lesbianing.

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>>28480995
Well, they had to make it more mass-market friendly. Including making the fights more boring.

>>28471104
Ah, no he fucking didn't. I waited days for that shit...

>>28480942
>>28481008
It was shit even in manga form.

>>28481000
You mean the Colonel Glass arc?

>>28477370
His last post was a month ago; not at all a long time for a trip to go unseen. (Although, he never used a secure trip so there's no way of truly knowing whether it's him.)

He plead the fifth last time I asked how the bear was doing; I don't remember when that was. The archive shows him saying that he shot a bear. He also says that he THEORETICALLY did kill a bear with his ghetto fence.

For your perusal: https://desustorage.org/k/search/text/bear/username/Autist%20Bee%20%2Fk%2Feeper/

>>28473937
Those teeth are what locks the breech.

>>28480486
sauce or I call BS

>>28471983
when i was in rural red state 8th grade my female teacher gave me deer jerky because "i look like i'd enjoy it." in retrospect i probably coulda /ss/ with her

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>>28478796
this man truly understands

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>>28480396

sweet jesus mein sides

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>monster girls
truly this is a great thread

>>28481181
>eye seen over hair
Why is this a thing?

>>28481181
Spiderfags ruin everything.

>>28481219
drawing is hard

>>28481245
And spiderfags are dumb

>>28480476
>bartender runs out of customers
>goes home sad
>falls into depression
>i coulds have served more nazis i have failed as bartender...

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>ctrl + f "suu"
>0 results

>Can digest any organic matter
>Can absorb and detect poison
>Can read your thoughts with a touch
>Can turn water into a powerful healing liquid
>Can grow to massive size by drinking water
>Can shapeshift to accommodate any fetish
>Can quickly learn all your sexual preferences
>Doesn't judge you for your sexual degeneracy

Y'all a bunch of dumb faggots

>>28481470
>is a child mentally
>disintegrates
>likes papi
>you can't actually touch her
>will freeze
>tried to smother her host numerous times