are you fuckers ready to be busted by dildo-cop?
If those things have wifi or any wireless communication they will be hacked the day after they get deployed. There is no hacker in the world who wouldn't fuck a bucket of glass to be the first guy to hack them.
so in the future
> an armed version of this thing is patrolling in autonomous mode
> detects a threat
> alerts the operator (some mall cop)
> switches to operator controlled mode
> operator shoots the threat
didn't take long for UAVs to beciome UCAVs
was in Russia in 2007
>MFW it gets tipped over immediately by drunk college kids/workers/hobos
>>mfw DildoBot stolen and held for ransome
This reminds me of something that I had been wondering about:
Say an autonomous hunk of shit like this is armed and used for policing/security/whatever, would it actually be legal for it to defend itself with lethal force?
Because the agencies can only use lethal force if there is a threat to life, and attacking their shitty dildobot wouldn't count, would it therefore be relatively pointless anyways?
how do you know this thing won't defend itself, maybe electrocute the fuck out of you with a taser or something
It goes down an alley while patrolling or somthing. Push a dumpster or some other heavy object to stop it from leaving. Its now useless for what it is. Or ya know a Molotov would work wonders.
This seems like it would be so weird
>Be a boigler
>Break into warehouse for shit to sell for crack
>Hear noise slowly approaching
>Weird dildobot slowly rounds the corner and turns to face you
>Microsoft Sam voice "This is private property. Please vacate the premises"
>"You are trespassing"
>Continue about business because it can't actually do anything to you
>Slowly follows right behind you the whole time
>More join in
>6 dildobots slowly buzzing after you as you steal shit
>"I am notifying the police"
>"You must leave this location immediately"
>"Police are on their way"
>"Please wait for the police to arrive"
That's hilarious and terrifying at the same time
I'm sure some late-90s goths in black trench coats will save us.
>mfw security guard
>mfw having a guard card meant always having a job
>not anymore ...
I'm going full Luddite on one of these things if I see it. Fuck this I'm going full Luddite now and taking a shit on the self checkout robot at my local grocer.
Reminds me of OppressionBobcat
They can't even take it seriously.
>Hey Frank, I'm sure it would fit snugly in your wife's vagina.
>Oh bob, you're such a joker!
>...because it can't actually do anything to you
that's why they're gonna strap some weapons onto it. at first probably "non-lethal" ones like pepper spray, taser, etc. later on lethal ones. BEHOLD DILDOBOT OF DEATH!!!!
Funny because the Dalek looks better built and not as retarded somehow
Maybe because it was supposed to be fictional and silly
This thing is even worse than that faggy strobelight tazer
Still not as bad as WEEWOOOWEEWOOOpistol
i remember reading a story earlier this year about the israelis using a remotely controlled armed robot (pic related) to kill a human. anyone have sauce?
GOD FUCKING DAMMIT
it always happens like this, i have a cool idea and no money to make it and after a few years i read something about someone having the same idea and making it
only my idea was not dildo shaped it ran on all terrain tracks like a skid steer, it was all weather and outdoor, its top was a clear dome that held an array of cameras and a blue light, and folded up in the front of its body it had arms to do things like open doors and press buttons in elevates and even pick up people laying on the ground, and it was remote controlled so one human can operate 4 to 5 of them if all they where doing was patrolling and take over completely for stuff like bomb removal or med evac
fuck fuck fuck, my idea was better in every way and they are going to get to market first and may fuck up so bad that even if a better one comes along no one will buy it
>WHY IT MATTERS
>Security patrols can be monotonous and poorly paid work.
Yeah, instead of having a dude who can go up stairs or open a door and not be disabled by being pushed over, let's have a giant rolling dildo weighing 300 pounds that must cost around 100k or more.
If you actually want to damage the company who use them, it's more efficient to destroy the dildos than stealing their shit.
we'll get to that point eventually, but it will happen in stages. humans will give up control and decision making gradually, in stages.
time to start stockpiling used Microwave ovens
true. i forgot about our freedom dropping drones.
> its top was a clear dome
looks like this same corporation tried the clear dome thing in a prototype. is that a 360 degree camera?
I really want this, but instead of all the electronics and shit it would just be a hollow metal shell you'd sit inside and cruise around in.
Firing ports for a handgun and a shitty little siren on top would also be nice
>it had arms to do things like open doors and press buttons in elevates and even pick up people laying on the ground
you should check out the DARPA grand challenge
i think these fuckers are smart enough to do these tasks autonomously, without human operators
>Yeah, instead of having a dude who can go up stairs or open a door and not be disabled by being pushed over, let's have a giant rolling dildo weighing 300 pounds that must cost around 100k or more.
this of the dildo as the first stage. later stages will be able to open doors and do stairs.
>Rolls up to you
>Plastic Murphy head inside it
>SERVING THE PUBLIC TRUST
>What the fuck?
>Sits there doing nothing for a minute
>YOUR MOVE CREEP
>DEAD OR ALIVE YOU ARE COMING WITH ME
>I'm an OCP executive
>It short circuits and explodes
>No junkyard crane or Cobra Assault Cannon required
i know... my idea is soooooo much better
my idea can actually do something with its arms
like punch the bad guy or use ANY pistol or rife that was made to be used by humans, or for that matter ANY tool that was made to fit humans
and my idea can go up stairs and shit like that
hell i figured that its biggest use will be as a first aid bot and bomb bot and its armor makes it a moveing shield
that thing in op's pic is just a security cam on wheels
have you seen the swords/talon robots and how sophisticated those are (as in, unsophisticated)?
if you could make a robot that had arms that could handle weapons you'd be able to sell it to the military
seriously, you're in scifi land.
Eh, they've been kicking around this idea for a long time. The technology just isn't there yet to make anything really effective.
lmfao god damn this shit is too fucking funny.
So, it's basically just the robot that's in the Fallout 3 grocery store, except without lasers.
i was thinking more like the robots that are used in surgery by doctors on the other side of the world then just something that can swing a sword
---after all most of the market was going to be fire departments and EMS for hazardous search and rescue as well as cops and military
depends. effective at what? if the task is detecting an intruder and sounding an alarm, i think with all the fucking sensors on that dildo it will be pretty effective at that task.
> that trigger discipline
A roving alarm is really all you could do with it. It couldn't chase or detain anybody. Judging from how low it is to the ground, outside of an indoor environment it's not going to be able to make it very far.
but you could mount a lot of non-lethal methods of restraining or de-escalating that a human might not be able to carry
rapid-firing beanbag machine guns or paintball guns with fuck-huge massive reserves of compressed air and paintballs come to mind. You could fit two scuba tanks in there, multiple paintball guns and hoppers with thousands of balls in reserve.
if any of you stupid fucks actually believe this garbage you're seriously deluded
why are the police scary? Because they're other people that can beat the shit out of you, and because if you assault them you go to jail for assault and not property damage
You realize how much liability that is? The article pretty much tried to dance around the fact that it literally does nothing other than roll around looking like r2d2. It can observe but it doesn't know someone doing something illegal from someone just strolling about, it certainly can't make a judgement call or be thought of as responsible with offensive capability. This thing is a bust. Literally a rolling security camera only much easier to disable or steal.
>hey guys mind if I bring my friend out paintballing with us?
>show up with dildobot
>dildobot proceeds to hose everyone down blare sirens and tell them to stop resisting arrest
>yfw you accidently flipped the switch to crowd control mode
>Because the agencies can only use lethal force if there is a threat to life
Not necessarily. Justifiable homicide laws vary from state to state. Some states have laws that explicitly widen the circumstances under which a homicide by law enforcement may be deemed justifiable.
Oh god the future will suck.
>One day in your lifetime spraying a dildocop with a thick rubber based can of paint grant grants assault charges instead of vandalism.
> A robot will have more rights than you currently have today.
>>mfw they could be building nightmare fuel, instead they built a mobile dildo
just imagine that thing chasing you while yelling PENETRATE, PENETRATE
maybe it'd have a couple of rotating (like a drill) horsedildos and it'll shoot dragon dildos at you
add some arms that are strong enough to rip off your clothes yet delicate enough to spread your anus without tearing (it leaves that for the dildos) and you'd be afraid
>break into property
>you knock it over and steal everything
>you run back
>go on a highspeed adventure across the country
>you teach dildobot how to be a real human bean
>you and dildobot do one last break in
>the cops find out
>cops are about to shoot you
>dildobot jumps in front of the bullet
>dildobot is dead
>you go to prison
>6 months later
>didlobot beaks through prison wall
>I AM HERE TO SAVE YOU FATHER
>that who songs starts playing
Dildo shaped robot that screams if you harass it?
Its a fucking mobile redlight camera
(and thats exactly what we should be calling them, so that we can get the jump on the war of words for this)
let me tell you assholes something, the minute these things start showing up around me is when i start breaking out the pipe bombs
shit like this is how bad things start
This. The most it'll be able to do is stand guard at locations during zero-entry hours and tell anything it "sees" to fuck off. It sure as hell can't tell friend from foe, not at this point.
>tfw your job is replaced by robuts
This kind of shit is why we're going to have to make 4 year colleges public within the next 30 years regardless of how much the libertarian babbies cry about muh free market.
Robots ARE going to take over 45% of the jobs out there, deal with it or let your economy collapse.
Are you arguing that "free" University tier institutions are commonplce in the USA? Because you're wrong if you are.
What I'm saying is that a Uni diploma is essentially going to have to be as commonplace as high school one is now or the economy is going down the shitter as more and more automation happens.
No, but public universities are very common in the US.
>What I'm saying is that a Uni diploma is essentially going to have to be as commonplace as high school one is now
A university diploma has already been debased to the point that it is equivalent to a HS diploma of 30-50 years ago.
And it's aslo caused a bunch of debt.
Why the fuck are you making me spell this out for you? Colleges need to be free and accessible to people of every economic level if 45% of jobs are going to be gotten rid of.
>A university diploma has already been debased to the point that it is equivalent to a HS diploma of 30-50 years ago.
And we have an enormous debt bubble as a result, and it isn't equivalent, that's just what a bunch of overeducated dumbasses write about. Jobs make a distinction between college education and HS education so, lolno not in the real world they're not.
In the US, a public university is partially funded by the state, it is not defined as a free university system. I could care less about your tears about not being good enough to earn a scholarship or earn money. Is it clip vs magazine levels of autism, sure, but I find you to be whiny.
>Jobs make a distinction between college education and HS education
And here we have the actual problem. We should move into an educational system defined by certifications can that can be attained without a formal education. Sure, dumbasses could take classes, the rest of us will just read books.
>I could care less about your tears about not being good enough to earn a scholarship or earn money.
You're an idiot.
You don't get it.
45% of jobs gone isn't just going to affect the guys without a job, these people NEED to be retrained or the economy would implode. You would preferably want to do this BEFORE they lose their jobs you pea brained close minded free market worshipping faggot.
>In the US, a public university is partially funded by the state, it is not defined as a free university system.
He knows he's saying it should be and he's fucking right. We have cars right now that can drive themselves, do you know how many people that would leave unemployed if it were adopted en masse? The only reason truckers and cab drivers still have jobs is because automated gas stations aren't common.
>super soaker filled with paint can disable it
>Securi-Bot™ 9000 eliminates all human rent-a-cop jobs
>rolls up on homeless guy sleeping in alleyway
>"Exuse me CIS-scum, you are on priva-">homeless guy throws up the bird, puts his sick out and pisses on it
>"You are in violation of the law, proper authorities are being contacted."
>"ehhh fuck you!"
>beats it with a steel pipe
Ah, but can a dildo-bit verbally defuse a telling match between a drunk homeless madman falsely accusing a "normal" of oanhsndling the former? (I'm sure the madman was harassing the normal dude.) without shooting both?
Those two look like they're ready to star in an 80's Neo-Future cop drama
>ONE is a down on his luck cop with nothing to lose
>THE OTHER is a sleek law-enforcing machine
>TOGETHER, they fight crime and internal anti-robot racism in their department in the gritty city of Neo-LA 2020
>This summer, make way for KNIGHTSCOPE
>Though the K5 may look friendly and does not carry any weapons, it’s not meant to be messed with. If you walk in front of it, it will stop abruptly. Try to detain it, and after some time its built-in alarm will begin to chirp as a warning while sending a low-level alert to a remote monitoring center. Keep bothering it, and an ear-piercing alarm will sound as it sends another alert, prompting an operator to use Knightscope’s browser-based software to check out the status of the sensors, see what’s happening around the robot, and talk to anyone who may be there harassing it.
What is the normal protocol for the operator if they see their robot getting lynched?
I imagine they may get smart and program it to send a signal out when it detects someone putting a bag over it or something.
stick with microwave/emp guns
no, and there's another good reason you'll probably not see dildo-bot security do anything more than act as alarm-carrying mobile cameras:
They aren't legal agents. As a robot, the operator is liable if it malfunctions. With a human guard, the guard is liable if he fucks up. Having a human agent allows you a financial buffer if shit hits the fan.
Additionally, most guards are expected to carry out shit like 1st aid/CPR, etc in emergencies...you're walking a fine legal line if you think having dildo-bot administer chest compressions is a good idea.
Wireless jammer, or if you know what you're doing, MitM attack and take total control. I don't see that being too terribly hard, just need some prep work beforehand. If you can't get control, 7.62x39 should do the trick
Did you even read the words you just typed?
By the time aforementioned mallninja gets the blanket off, he'll be out of breath and you'll be long gone.
If these things have any kind of speaker on it, hackers across the world would have them rolling around saying, "Exterminate," or lines from Mr. Fisto.
>after 20 minutes of alarms the guy in the security office jacking off finally checks unit 23's monitor
>all he see's is the inside of a work van and someone saying "damn nigga that fuckin beeping sure is annoying"
>muh free market!
>not thinking capital gains tax should scale like income tax
>not thinking income tax should be brought back to FDR levels IE 90% cap
>inb4 one day you'll be making 100million a year and dat der 10mil won't never be good enough 5 me and having a 15% instead of 30% income tax on your meager salary would be akin to rape
>drape a bed sheet over it
>Tip it over
>dem durr CEOs deserve that 15% tax rate and more bailouts!
Why is it that you poor fucking inbred hicks want to be kept in eternal poverty?
>inb4 you make more than minimum wage and aren't on any form of government aid
Joe the plumber plz
> dress in brown cloak
> cover face with black mask and hood
> wear little yellow lights over your eyes
> hide behind mall kiosk and when dildo bot trundles past, jump out, shoot it with a Nerf suction cup dart and scream "UUNTEEDEEE!!!!!!"
it also has one convenient feature:
"Converts scanned images of alphanumeric text into machine-encoded text for comparison against a defined database or Hot List." in other words, if they don't sterilize their database inputs, simply holding up a 'Fuck robots'); DROP TABLE Hot List' should fuck it over pretty well. Which is pretty funny actually.
It's also sort of silly that it uses ultrasonic sensors, those things are so outmoded! If you reflect sound up with say a pyramid it won't be able to see it! Concave shapes can also fuck over ultrasonic sensors by making them think the object is much further away.
Bad idea mate, garbage bags are transparent to IR. Though if you want to take them out, some bricks or gravel should be enough for a mobility kill
robots with swords are a dumb idea. Robots with knives make sense though. Knives are great for knifing into things that could be bombs so they can be disarmed.
Now check this shit out:
>mfw the future robot war is just clumsy robots running around with power drills
I'm getting deja vu for some reason.
>A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
>A robot must obey the orders given to it by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
>A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.
>people calling it DildoBot
HAS SCIENCE GONE TOO FAR?!
one weird trick found out by law enforcement that criminals hate!
I don't get it, why not just stick cameras on these little things and tie them to a central computer somewhere that parses and analyzes the video (Thereby being able to send it more detailed commands or modifications to its patrol route, such as "Check out this thing out of place over here.")?
>not drilling a 102 mm hole in it and inserting a fleshlight sleve
>not playing sound clips of Eve from Wall-E saying "no"
It's the closest you'll ever get to raping a disney character in real life.
>0. A robot may not harm humanity, or, by inaction, allow humanity to come to harm.
It can only blast sirens on a volume that doesn't hurt your ears and call the police
Yes! Ghost in the Shell is finally going to happen.
>Implying you wouldn't join Sector 8 and get to look at dat ass all day while fighting cyber-criminals and doing hacking which is actually exciting
>>Hey bob you know what would be a really cool idea? if we make the eyes glow red when they're searching for stuff, also make'em pale, bald, and british sounding
>>I dunno dale, you think seegson is going to go for that?
>>oh wait! we also throw in great strength, and resistant to fire and being shot at
>>Dale...that has to be...THE GREATEST IDEA I'VE EVER HEARD!!! LET'S DO IT!
well took two people to pull Ash off of Ripley
not to mention they say on the wiki synthetics are just built up muscle, no bones or anything, guess that how they get away with burning for so long still moving, built like a heart
they were sensitive to vacuum, high and low temps
That's what the weavers at the start of the industrial revolution said about the first weaving machine.
And still they did find work at something not as stupid. (The others died due to starvation or at the resulting revolt though)
if people get replaced by robots they're free to do something more useful.
imagine the reaction of the maintainancecrew at the sight of said fleshlight
>Get hired as a maintenance worker for the new robot guards
>These things are nothing but trouble, people fuck with them nonstop
>Constantly cleaning spraypaint and rotten food from the hull
>One day a robot comes in smelling particularly bad
>Crude drawing of breasts drawn at chest height
>below is a hole with a sex toy inserted
>UV light reveals that 98% of the hull is coated in a mixture of blood and semen
>Interior coated in crusty substance
>Quit job that day
Only downside to those cute little guys is that they're utterly dependent on all those cameras positioned around the room and a computer calculating it's spatial data. But we're getting there.