>"Anon, I wouldn't trust you to babysit my kids for the evening, but I'd trust you to save them in a dangerous situation"
>/k/ feels thread.
>anon you have many guns and are paranoid
Attempted break in at neighbors house
>anon I hate guns and would never own one but do you have a Biden-blaster I can borrow? I don't need any shells because I'll just rack it and scare intruders away.
all my feels
>they takecar keys, laptop
>room mate grabs my shotgun while I was at work
>im fine with it
>after work grab nugget food and 00
>I load the old break action
>"w-what are you doing?! are you gunna shoot somebody?!"
>well shit dude we have to take this seriously
>I put it back in the corner
>he swipes it, fumbles with it and takes the shell out
>grabs his pb gun instead
>"I reallly hope even if it did come to that, that you shoot to disable like the leg or something"
>I will probably lose my virginity tonight
I am so nervous it's not even funny. My gf is as shy and awkward as I am and this is the first time for both of us (we're 23 and 22).
We've been together for about half a year now and had our first kiss just the other day. It was both insanely awkward and really awesome, first for both of us.
We've talked thids through many times but I feel nervous as hell. I feel tempted to have a drink to calm my nerves but I don't think that's a good idea.
Sorry for bringing this up. I just need a way to calm myself I guess.
Oh Lord yes.
>Haha! I don't need guns I'll just come to your house.
>Yeah man I have an M&P9 for home defense
>Behind a locked closet door, in a locked ammo can, unloaded with a gun lock on it.
>You keep a gun loaded on your table?! That's crazy!
>lol what do you have all these for? the zombie apocalypse?
>You don't need guns, anon. The police have guns. I hate guns.
>You own a gun anon, you're fired.
>You know how to make explosives, anon? Why?
>Let me just refine your nugget's trigger anon, it won't break.
Now I'm a jobless faggot AND my nugget is broken.
> intruders breach window
> heard shotgun racking
> o shit bailing
> heard shotgun rack again
> shotgun rack multiple time each time with increasing speed
> intruder realize.jpg the stuipd antigun faking
> intruder enraged and proceed raping and killing the family
>Have habbening plans
>Carefully picked group of people with compatible personalities, proven good stress response, useful skills and essential supplies
>"Haha, yes, if anything goes wrong, I'll just go to anon's house. He'll help me"
Heres goes alternative ending
> intruder succesful bailed house
> intruder bolt'd across fence n shit
> intruder exit into sidewalk proceed to grayman
> went round corner
> wtf family of sweating bean eye mexicans with shotgun
> they all proceed rapidly raking their shotgun
> intruder wtf the fuxk out of universe
> intruder proceed magdump his tec 9 into family
I know that feel all to well
Everyone (including people I hate and who hate me) are afraid of the happening more then ever and they plan to go to my place and hook up with me
I am tempted to tell them to bring a shit ton up supply's and just shoot them and take it all for myself. But my morals tell me I should not do that
sorry I was on my mobile.
basicly we had a burglary and room mates were nervous as fuck the next day and grabbed my guns. got mad when I loaded it, decided they're idea of home defense should be a paintball gun
Sorry guys, if the habbening happens. I will only allow selected people into my home that offer either useful skills, ammo/supplies, or just people that I know can be counted on in a bad situation.
I will immediately shoot anyone else who gets near my home in such an event.
I recently bought a nugget.
My entire family yelled at me wondering why I wanted / needed something like that. They think that because it's old that it's unsafe.
They just don't understand, /k/ :'(
It'll be okay anon. It's gonna be awkward for both of you. Just do what feels natural and don't stick it in her pooper unless she wants you to.
Shit, my first time was on a KFC bathroom floor at 15
I had the same problem when I got my first nugget as well, and my parents straight up kicked me out when I built myself a sten in my garage (it's actually not that hard, lot of fun if you know how to use a drill press).
In the end you have to go it on your own as >>23241172 says
>Someone breaks in
>Your roommate shoots him in the leg with a 12 gauge
>Oh god, where did his leg go?
>Oh god, the femoral artery!
>You arrive home to find the place surrounded by cop cars and an ambulance being loaded up with a body bag
>Roommate tells you what happened
>Well, it certainly disabled him!
>Captcha: bonugee mercy
its not as awkward as you think. just let it happen. make out, let the clothes come off bit by bit, dont rush it, thats all part of the fun. when youre ready have her guide you in.
Awww it's nice to hear there's couples out there that don't dirty fuck on the first date.
Yeah it'll be awkward, but there's no avoiding that. Just put your brain on autopilot and focus on making her feel good. And yeah, it really is about teamwork. Don't drink. Just take a deep breath and relax, this is a natural human thing.
Course you should probably listen to the other anons. I'm just giving advice others gave me before I found out my ex fucked another guy and had her first without me.
this, word for word this.
my moms car broke down in a super shitty part of Fort Worth and was being repaired in a pretty shady area.
>asks me to come pick her up
>i grabbed my brothers Sig P250
>stick it inbetween seats
>pick her up
>she notices, "why do you have that?"
>get food, etc
>later, we were waiting by the repair place, its night now
>some sort of illegal roody poo gambling ring is across the parking lot
>repair shop owner says they vandalize his place a lot
>mom asks me to bring my truck, and everything in the truck closer
>im glad you brought that gun with you
my mom isnt anti gun, shes just more of the "i dont see why you need that" until theres 20 thugged out black guys in low riders blaring rap all around us
an AR would have been toppest kek to bring
>Sorry for bringing this up. I just need a way to calm myself I guess.
i would never have sex if not for alcohol
>Buy Sino-Soviet SKS
>Can't find a stock that's reasonably priced, in decent condition AND has a matching handguard
>Buy Yugo M59/66 stock
>The bayonet cutout is too long
>My autism starts acting up
Anyone wanna trade or something?
>I wouldn't trust you to babysit my kids for the evening,
>be with friend talking about our hobbies
>he likes cars, i like guns
>"Well cars have tons of uses, they get you from point A to point B, guns seem sort of useless"
>be inna parking lot
>dude cuts us off, nearly causes us to wreck
>flip him off
>he comes to our car, blocks us in a parking spot
>threatens to stab me
>look at my friend, he's crying and trying to hide his face
>makes me do all the talking
>friend never lets me carry in his car (had no CCL at the time), had to bitch out and beg for mercy.
>talk the guy down
>he gives me a fist bump
>i look at my friend
>"Guns are useless eh?"
He still won't get one, or NOT act like a nervous wreck when i carry mine. Even though, he asks me to now.
>"I'm to scared of guns to learn about guns, so will you be my body guard?"
This is basically what he thinks.
>tfw you've been safezoned
>tfw they expect you to protect them
>tfw they can't even into innawoods survival
>tfw you'd take them innawoods when the happening happens, and use them for bait/food
>Not bringing your AK loaded with spaghetti
Enjoy. Don't expect miracles, and don't be frustrated.
It is like shooting. A bit nerve-wracking at first, but worth every bit.
>We've been together for about half a year now and had our first kiss just the other day. It was both insanely awkward and really awesome, first for both of us.
I'm too broken for a post this innocent...
I sincerely hope you guys love each other to death.
Just go with your gut and try to not think about your dick too much; focus on the moment instead. My first time I couldn't even get hard at all because too much adrenaline. Out of five girlfriends since only one ever got me to cum, and I only used condoms with one of them. Don't sell yourself short until the deed is done.
>"you're so manly anon. You're like what i use as a standard for masculinity. You know all about guns, cars, self defense, handy-man shit, getting shit done, and you look the part. You're logical and almost always right because of that. if anything ever happens I trust you with my life."
>still no gf though
>TFW you remember feeling this way about the girl you've been with for years, but now you can barely stand her because she's changed so much.
>only stay with her because you think who she was is still in there somewhere.
Hold me /k/. I may actually shed a manly tear or two.
take your boyfriend shooting
start with an airgun if you must
also you're a dumb Fuck for inciting road rage by flipping someone off and I hope you never get a CCL because of your childish attitude
>I trust you to babysit my kids and to have a key to my house, even though I don't trust my boyfriend of 2 years with those things
Why must my sister keep friendzoning me?
God damn I wish I didn't know this feel. I've been told this twice and I've heard friends/roommates bring it up when I'm not immediately around.
It's like I'm everybody's fucking dad or cool uncle but it never gets me pussy.
>unemployed for two months, living in mother's basement
>only 2 guns
>beautiful, funny, caring girlfriend who is sticking by my side regardless
>when people ask me what I've been up to I don't have anything to say
>21st birthday coming soon, but have absolutely no money to get that LCR I've wanted for forever
I guess I'm okay overall, I was living in my car not long ago
life is suffering isnt it
shit wrong picture
e-even though what i posted initially fits too
I love hearing this. Friendzoned a chick hard, got married to my now wife, friend tried convincing me to make her my backup wife. Sorry you have no boobs bye now. Oh the joys of being a /k/ommando.
>I know guns
>buddy knows cars
>other buddy expert hunter, drags at least one dead animal home for every hunting season
>next buddy is kickass drummer
>final buddy is big time pot dealer who believes in karma and always hooks up phat bags
together we're unstoppable
also I don't really care about women that much anymore and it's nice
appreciate your friends guys
Just gotta talk to her about it. Be honest, both with her and yourself. That part will not hurt: it'll feel like you're in a dream, and your body is saying what it needs to, independent from your mind. Gauge her reaction: if it's a tearful, oh-please-anon-I-never-meant-to-hurt-you-I-can-change kind of situation, then agree to let her try again. When she's romantic, be romantic back.
On the other hand, if she is silent, condescending, downright angry, or displays any other emotion that sets off warning signals in your head...well, you'll have your answer.
It's amazing the truth that comes out when you just talk with someone--It's always worked for me.
Fuck yes. I find posters trashy as fuck usually, but I have two in my house: a Barlowe and a Zdzisław Beksiński
Flipping someone off isn't creating a situation. If you think that it is his fault for some guy going full ape mode on him for a harmless gesture, then you are the one with problems.
You are as bad as the people who think that Trayvon was justified in jumping Zimmerman.
>MFW all of my cousins are all of those things
you're young as shit, don't take it too hard. most countries don't give a shit about the youngins immediately moving out ASAP.
do get a job tho
>sympathize because i'm 19, own two guns and live at home but have a job/qt gf and am working on moving out
Ahh, Good On you man, personally, I wanted to wait till marriage, but when I found the girl I "thought" I love at the time I decided to go for.
We drove behind my job and lowered the seats, got naked and made out, I was rock hard and while she was on top of me grinding against it, she slipped. Asian scream loud, I found that out a year and a half ago. After having her relax and getting adjusted to a bout 7 inches in her we started moving more and for bout two hours, we made love. Sweet. Awkward. Sweaty. Painful. Loud. Greasy love. We'd not took each other's virginities (?) that day. Anon, make it wirth it, kiss her, love her fondle her tease her, ease it not rush it, if her her a bit, eat her out, and make sure she feels loved. That's how I did with the 2 other virgins I have. It's a big step in your relationship, treat it as such. And don't get her pregnant you faggot. Pic related. I miss her. Why did her parents have to be racist ;-;
>Anon you drive a truck, like guns, and cook. You need to be blacker
>You need to be blacker
You should immediately start jumping around with your arms curved making chimp noises aggressively when people say this shit, it makes white liberals go into a guilt panic nd makes fellow blacks embarrassed.
>white friend's faces when I call thugs niggers and praise zimmerman for removing urban youth
If your chubby, good hearted, strange, love animals and have a thing for games, poetry, girls,Fords, guns, and Rooster Teeth then sure.
How's that book on the Bundy Ranch coming?
>tfw you are your friends' personal security
>tfw you are constantly the one defending them in public
>tfw we need better friends
>that feel when 19 and own a dozen guns
>that feel when shamelessly use my dads ffl to buy anything i want since it remains in his inventory i dont need to file a 4473.
then again i got royally fucked in ait and have an epts discharge from the army so im luckier in some ways and not other.
>you need to be blacker
I'm a good ole boy but god damn if I don't get furious when I hear somebody say that to a black guy. I'm just like "I'm sorry he hasn't robbed a 7/11 yet."
I wrote this post and actually upset that it put a smile on zeds face.
We hate you zed. Literally everybody here does. If you say you dont you either need to lurk more or put your trip back on.
My Dad is like this...
Talks about how much recoil is, and how he could fend off an attack without any weapons at all...
>MFW he keeps a non full tang knife under his coach for HD
>MFW no face
I usually go for the rest of the day using my regular deep ass mumble voice, being agitated as hell, and less helpful to the people that say that. Not to mention fuffling every stereotype ever.
>hanging with friends of friends say I'm white as hell and worried about why I like guns so much
>Cooking red pepper and brown sugar fried chicken, first time eating in 2 days so my fat ass isfucking starved.
>That one cockbag in every group of friends says and qoute "For an uncle Tom he sure can cook"
>In my most ghetto voice :You fucking bowl cut having busta ass hockey,
>grab a fresh greasy piece of chicken, red pepper still visible, that's how much is on it.
>Angle off of cunts face, grease and pepper extract in his eyes
>runs out yelling nigga, fucking, mommy, and several other words
>Dog comes by and eats chicken off the floor
>Stones couple sides have passed Orions Belt
>Cunts girlfriend has not her head in shame and keeps reading
>My crush just giggles and says that was cool
>We fuck, cuddle and watch Shrek 2
>This grrentext is all ogre now
I got more. Dump?
>MFW no face
Save this for comments like that in the future.
Yeah man, I'm 21 and a virgin and I never even had an encounter with a girl until I was 20. Since then I've actually passed up a couple chances to loose my virginity. I'm waiting for the right one.
I'm always around /k/ommrade. Like a cosmoline soaked Jesus, watching over you all.
He fixes my car for free. So...i'll keep him around. My other friends are awesome, so is he, he's just a bitch sometimes.
>dump gf because she still likes her ex
>ignore her for half a week
>she starts begging for me to talk to her again
>oblige, start talking to her on facebook and at school again
>we start getting close as shit
>she starts telling me over facebook how horny she is and shit
>sexual tension is so thick you could cut it with a knife
>yesterday, some event thing, we're in the cafeteria doing some shit, I wasn't paying attention
>she starts talking about how she's horny, etc
>start jokingly poking her tits
>keeps going from there
>eventually have my hands up her shirt fondling her tits and my hands in her pants
>get home, she sends me nudes
>next day we have lunch together
>sitting in lunch line with my arm around her
>rubbing her side and teasing her
>lower my hand down her back
>do she got a booty?
>get home today
>sends me pics of her pussy
I'd post them, but the FBI would take me to the everlasting party.
What are you implying?
>lower my hand down her back
>do she got a booty?
>You fucking bowl cut having busta ass hockey,
>wake up to phone call from friend's fiancé
>we've become pretty good friends as well
>she asks if I want to smoke a cigarette with her before work
>well, since I'm awake...
>she's already there (they live next to me)
>sad country music playing on her phone
>says she fucked up really bad and can't tell anyone
>she says she cheated on my friend and now she regrets it and wants to tell him but he'll probably leave her
>ask her why she did it
>says she didn't think she'd care because she had cheated on other guys and not cared but it was different this time
>thought she wanted something different with the wedding less than a month away
>don't really know what to say
>apparently she did it last Sunday
>last Sunday she showed up at my place with a bunch of weed and a pack of smokes, obviously spent time getting ready
>wants to chill, not unusual
>whole time obviously flirting with me, talking about scenarios where we end up together/her and her fiancé break up
>figure it's not what I think, ignore it
>later in she starts texting someone a whole lot
>leaves, says she has to "go get my thing from that place, someone's coming to get me"
>now I realize she picked me first, and the other guy was her backup dick
>knowing someone cares about you enough to be eachother's first
Fuck you and your happy fulfilling lifestyle.
I come here to forget how much of a loser I am, not be reminded of it.
you will be fucking rich with all the funs you can carry
>tfw your anti-gun boss ends up funding your gun hobbies
I'm giving her the chance to tell him. I can't deny her the opportunity to do what's right like that, it'll only make things worse.
If she brings me into this, I'll deal with it. I haven't done anythig wrong, and have nothing to fear.
If she hasn't told him in a day or 2, I will tell him.
We are blood brothers, Anon. It is time to move on. There is a girl out there who is truly ideal for you and there's no reason to fuck around with your own heart waiting for the old one to change back.
The girl of my dreams told me on Monday that she and her boyfriend are planning to get married and honestly, it was almost a relief to know that there's no real chance of getting back together with her.
Oh, and there's a gun show this weekend, but I probably won't get anything because all of my fun funds are going to an AR build.
>Anon, why do you want a gun?
>To protect myself and you guys in case of emergency
>Oh please, if they break into the house I'd just let them take whatever. It's insured!
The worst part is, that was my dad. My mom was basically "As long as you know what you're doing"
>you now know what being in government feels like
I remember one anon here who's family shat all over him for prepping, then they got hit by hurricane sandy, rushed to him for food and water, then continued to shit all over his prepping after things got better.