/k/ humor thread Go

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i could dump

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Is SOME non-/k/ stuff allowed?

obligatory

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3d957TracBI

>>23139766
Glockamole

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>>23139766
glockamole anyone

>>23139798
Joke was already done bitch.

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Seems a made a thread accidently

>>23139858

Is that a converted sharps rifle?

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>>23139865
not a clue

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i'll help
Its to bad i most have greentext soccermom threads.

but i must go for now
if thread is live i'll post more later

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>>23139463
>somebody used my OC in the OP

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>>23139927

>>23139888
What's funny about that picture? The AK is clearly disassembled.

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>>23139945
Sadly, i dont have full story...

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>>23139974

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>>23140016
>>23139974
Pitting the bro-est of bro birds against each other

You're a real Mc-asshole

>>23139888
>not a clue

Joke's on you.

>>23140016
now i have the full thing

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>>23139798
1/?

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>>23140070
2/?

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>>23140085
3/?

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>>23140100
4/?

>>23139872

/k/ - a magical place

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>>23140110
5/?

posting the one and only

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9730616/1/The-Consequences-Will-Never-Be-The-Same

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>>23140141
6/?

>>23139950
Because if he something happened and he slippe or summing he could kill his eye with rifle barrel.

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>>23140219
7/?

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>>23139463
just bumping

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>>23140232

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>>23140249
9/?

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back but need got stuff to do so only a couple more
sorry

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>>23140261
10/?

Someone oughtta just post that parkourdude story, "Tiberius Rising" or whatever

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>>23140267
11/?
ok i think im done

>>23139865
it's a Martini Henry

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on the subject of frozen balls has anyone actually used frozen paintballs for self defence?
or marbles

>>23139865
Martini-Henry; watch Zulu on Netflix it's a good movie and shows the weaponry/ tactics of the British army of the mid-late 1800s

>>23140305
frozen paintballs could be lethal

>>23140305
not PD, but i used them in a slingshot to hit birds with. that and ice-slush in winter. The projectiles would explode on impact making it cooler. My cats ate pretty well though!

>>23140113
This was OP pic in the last thread.
Post something new.

>>23139463
>stale old shit
I'd rather have daily dose threads.

>>23140159
godamn it, its great.

>>23140267
>mfw i have no sides

>>23140305
We have, in a fit of utter stupidity, frozen paintballs before. Normally we don't wear armor sans a helmet and just enjoy the light bruises and welts we get, but we called that shit off after just a few hits. It was like someone hitting you with metal shot out of a slingshot, to the extent getting hit would leave an extremely pretty network of broken blood vessels under the skin.

Thankfully, the soft plastic shell remained soft and didn't get hard and potentially shatter into sharp edges.

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>>23139463
I was just watching Louie and saw this come up, thought of /k/.

Anyone with Photoshop wanna put a Zerg Face on the short one or something?

>>23140141
That's so fucking awesome. I may have to borrow that idea.

>>23140305
Frozen paintballs is a myth, they will just break apart in the gun itself.

>>23140556
A few minutes on google and you'd see that modern paintballs can be frozen and used just fine with common dry ice or less common but still obtainable liquid nitrogen.

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>>23139463

>>23140305
Paintballs are made from food coloring and vegetable oil. so all freezing them would do is make them pop in your gun, some pro paintballers even chill their paint before a game so that the shells are more brittle.

Regular Monsterballs on the other hand...

>>23140785
this always makes me smile

>>23139781
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S4PvOc2hpr0#t=41

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>>23140785

>>23140261
I'll never be able to fap without thinking of /k/ anymore.

>>23139826
Fucking kek

>>23140374
>post something new when 90% of the content in these threads are reposts.

>>23140100
kek, the fucking hands looks surprised

>>23139790
i hear if you leave the mag in, it keeps it from turning brown

>>23140232
Jesus what is that from?

>>23140489
>We have, in a fit of utter stupidity, frozen paintballs before

You know how I know you're lying?

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OC from a n operator thread
d-did I do good?

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By the Prophet, Fatima! Behold her kafal!
It is most kabir!
She looks like the beloved of one of those داش men. Only Allah understands those داش men!
They only court her because she looks like a total houri, no? I mean, her كفل it is just so big, only Allah

could comprehend its roundness! It is immodest. She's just so...HALAL!

[أبو بكر البغدادي]
I like big butts and I can not lie
You other shabaab can't deny
When a virtuous girl with a big derriere
Supplicates in prayer
You get sprung, pull out your gold
Cause you know her father's sold
The other five girls he's raising
I'm hooked and I can't stop praising
Oh habibati! I want to wed you
And cultivate your virtue!
My cousins tried to warn me
But that kafal you got makes me <ten-second sound clip of man screaming ALLAHU AKBAR! over and over>

Ah, Daughter of Allah!
You say you want to ride my camel?
Well ride me, ride me,
Cause I ain't your average irhabi
I have beheld them drawing water
To hell with consulting my father
She's round, brown,
Got it goin' like a Kurdish town
I'm tired of wrinkled jurists
Sayin' children are the purest
Take the average believer and ask him well
That booty better be halal
So, brothers (NAAM!) warriors of Islam (ALLAHU AKBAR!)
Has your beloved the treasure of Allah? (BY THE PROPHET, PEACE BE UPON HIM, SHE DOES!)
Tell them to shake it (shake it), shake it (shake it)
But only in the presence of their husbands!
Baby got back

(Mecca face with the Baghdad booty) x3

>>23140489 you're full of shit, once they freeze the shell is immediately deformed and once they thaw they shell is a soft squishy mess that gets raped by your loader or fucked in the gun.

>>23140340 not unless you choke on one

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[أبو بكر البغدادي]
I like 'em big, and round
And when I'm looting a town
I just can't help myself, I'm acting like an animal
Now here's my scandal
I want you in my tent
And ugh, double-up, ugh, ugh
I ain't talkin' bout chai boys
Cause that vice's only for good goys
I want them to be endowed by Allah
So find that juicy double
Or I'll reduce your village to rubble
Looking for a piece of that bubble
So I'm looking at infidel news
Which the faithful know to be run by Jews
Immodest flesh exposed to men's views
Kufar: you will pay your dues
After your gutless leaders fall for our ruse

A word to the infidel whores: you will conform to our mores
We're coming to your shores
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna <five-second clip of a crowd of men ululating madly>
Till the return of the Hidden Imam!
Gori got it goin' on
Your president dislikes this song
Cause his jets like to hit it and quit it
And I'd rather stay and play
'Cause Islam is the way and God is Great
And I shall establish a brand new Caliphate
So, women (NAAM!), faithful (NAAM!)
If you wanna ride in my technical
Then turn around! Stick it out!
Even the infidel acknowledges
Baby got back!

Yes, beloved...when it comes to selecting a fourth wife, the Zionists have nothing to do with my selection.

36-24-36? Haha, only if she has not begun menstruating!

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[أبو بكر البغدادي]
So you want to destroy the Jews, wearin' sandals instead of shoes?
But if martyrdom awaits you, what of the Paradise that ensues?
My Grand Minaret don't want houris
Unless they've got كفل to squeeze
You may fast all day from sunup
But please don't lose that butt
The Great Satan attempts to deceive
Saying we can't hold Ramadi
But they'll bomb it, and leave it,
And, insh'Allah, God will redeem it!
Infidels don't like your dress?
Zionists say you're oppressed?
Cause your face is covered and your dress is modest
Well, by the Prophet I promise
To attain final victory over the West
More under that burqa than a suicide vest
Give me halal, I'm enthralled
Steady diet of falafel balls
Some Britbong tried to diss
'Cause his girls are on my list
He had a country but he chose to give it
So Jews wouldn't call him a bigot.
So ladies, if the butt is round
And you want to stay above the ground
Dial 1-ALLAHUAKBAR
And forget those dirty kufar
Baby got back!

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>>23142803

your slaw sir

included this captcha

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>>23142916
>>23142907
>>23142803

>>23142803
>>23142907
>>23142916
Someone please cap this.
Muh sides.

>>23140219
It almost looks like he's spitting the casings out of his mouth

>>23142258
>same
>exact
>reposts
>every thread

OP is an autist whose brain only functions in loops.
Like that GWG trip about a year back.

>>23140489
fucking lying ass loser

>>23143307
does the queen operate?

>>23142298
>cosmoline and basement smell
>disproportionate eyes
oh fuck im going to die laughing god fucking damnit it wasnt supposed to end like this

>>23140141
>Handling a camel spider.

That was a brave anon.

>>23140262
Handgun+second pistol grip= Illegal

>>23142298
Hello police, i'd like to report a missing person report on my sides.

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>>23142298
I have a similar story

>>23140261
>there is a sharpie drawing of krusty the clown that everyone cums on

Jesus guys what are aliens going to think if they find out about this shit

>>23144481

Any race intelligent enough to be capable of interstellar travel would be just as fucked up as us.

>>23144555
>Language/culture barrier happens and alien soldiers are heading to Balad in droves to jerk off on krusty like they're making a pilgrimage to mecca, thinking its some kind of rite of passage for soldiers and they want to accommodate our customs

>>23144555
I don't think they'd understand why we're telling each other about it, since humour based on whacking-it is something that builds up over time.

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>>23143472

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>>23144622

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>>23144739

Anybody got the one where that guy is describing the actions of some snackbar high on meth or some shit?

>>23144612
If they reproduce by firing DNA at each other, they'll understand.

>>23139888
....have you never cleaned a rifle before?
That's the correct way to check for cleanliness.

>>23142695
>>23140232
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_8wjxhW62v4

>>23144622
>Got it goin like a Kurdish town
oh fuck my sides

>>23139463
Pork Rinds was better

>>23140259
Requesting Tank version of this

>>23146260

REMEMBER COMRADES! WE ARE TANK!

THEY TAKE OUT TREADS, WE ARTILLERY

THEY TAKE OUT MAIN GUN, WE ARE PILLBOX

THEY TAKE OUT MACHINE GUN, WE BUNKER

THEY TAKE OUT ARMOUR, WE HEROES!

>>23144191
They aren't dangerous unless you're a small lizard.

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>>23146460
This is the most autistic thing I've drawn in a while

>>23147335
>Iraq to the Future: Kurd Time's the Charm

>>23142831

no matter how many times i see this gif it's still fucking terrifying

>>23142890
THank you and the other guy for being a voice of reason on this. You freeze the balls and they just get fucked in the gun while being shot out. It turns into a gloopy mess of paint and shreds that comes out of the barrel. All these faggy machismo paintball players crank off to this frozen paint shit. Maybe in some cases, this can happen that the paint will be hard like marbles, but from what I've seen it just turns to shit. Too brittle to handle the force of being ejected from the gun.

>>23142831
What a fuckin legend! I just wanna kiss him on the balls

>>23142781
Someone post that pic with asian guy saying "Ivan's AK looks way cooler than mine" please.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y8IXrxgEo8g - also, Donbass rap.

>>23145501
I have but I did not do that. Can't remember what I did to be honest.
Trips off due to ban and being on phone.

>>23148671
How's about marbles?

>>23149013

Sauce? If this is on Youtube I need to read Russians losing their minds in the comments.

>>23139843
Gets me every fucking time!

>>23140231
No, I'd say a good majority of people bring the chamber up to a light source to check rifling.

>>23149013
This old fart is the epitome of edgy

>>23149258
That old fart would kick your pansy ass

>>23140556
It depends what quality and the age of the paintballs. I can tell you from personal experience that the cheap ones do get extremely thick and cease breaking on impact. Expensive ones stay brittle no matter what

>>23142781
does the F2000 make it easier to swim underwater?

you know... cuz its a fish

>>23149322
>fish
Motherfucker that's a damn boat.

>>23149324
even better then

>>23149160
if you find slightly under caliber .43 marbles and coat it with wd40 it might work but I wont garantee the lifespan of the barrel...
One of my friend tried glue pistol molded .43 in his marker and the result were poor accuracy and FTF all the way...
Paintball guns fires paintball

>>23149287
lost it at elemental reading right to left

>>23142781
>slovene
>operator
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, I get the joke now

>>23139872

Why in the fuck isn't this titled yoiheardyoulikeguns.webm

Also was anyone else hoping he would pull an even small gun out of the 2nd one?

>>23140305
Guaranteed not lethal or even a deterrent. I play winter paintball all the time. You use compressed air so the canister doesnt freeze which also puts it under 3 times pressure so the frozen paintball hurts alot more then average. The only time i can say that a frozen 3 times faster paintball ever made me physically stop all activity was when i was an idiot and took my helmet off in a trench to defog the goggles and i look up and my ass of a friend shoots me between the eyes. Made me sit there for about 30 seconds contemplating life, the universe and all things happy to prevent myself from blacking out from pain.

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Too much talkin in this thread

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>>23149579

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>>23149584

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>>23149589

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>>23149592

>>23139463
I was once berated by a woman for not giving a shit. After weeks of her complaining, I finally relented and gave a shit. Afterwards, she was pretty pissed at me for shitting on her.

Moral of the story? I'm sexually attracted to idioms.

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>>23149595

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>>23149599

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>>23149601

>>23139826
>we did it, the huts of no military value have been secured!

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>>23149607

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>>23149610

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>>23149613

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>>23149620

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>>23149626

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>>23149627

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>>23149629

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>>23149633

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>>23149636

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>>23149642

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>>23149644

>>23149589
whoa someone else reads failure to fire? that comic had so much potential but got sidetracked by drama bullshit, the first half was ok though

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/k/ hears a noise downstairs while taking a bath

>>23149642

>tfw that gook chick gets killed by the gooks.

fuck man, rambo can't catch a break.

>>23140085
What the fuck. That's goddamn funny.

>>23142831
pocket sand!

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guess I could dump some

>>23139826
Those fucking shoes on the guy in the lead running up.
>Those fucking red shoes

>>23149795
im glad i wasnt the only one

>>23149800
>"You don't want to sleep."

>>23149843
Ok, i just realized i spend waaay too much time on /tg/, as my minds went
>"Space Marines in Aliens? I sure as hell never saw any bolter-totin' warrior monks in any of the Aliens movies"

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y'all niggas better appreciate me typing in a hundred captchas

>>23149872
me want

>>23149193
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PMa3w8L92Xs
there you go :^)

>>23149890

I see the penis EVERY TIME now.

Thanks, assholes.

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if all this is gonna be is shit reposts might as well be shit reposts from 2011

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This one I made from the IDF thread started last night. The idea belongs to some other Anon.

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>>23140016
That fucking story, holy shit

>>23149955
GOD DAMN IT THURMAN WE TOLD YOU TO LEAVE YOUR ASIANS AT HOME

>>23147506
Keep it up you

>>23140277
just look it up, it's on booksie

>>23139826
Can someone shoop this:
GoPro: Be An Hero

>>23142803
>>23142907
>>23142916
i am a muslim and what is this

>>23144019
Shit.
Fuck female soldats, goddamit.

no git out

>>23139463
I wanted to do this but as Wehrmacht or slaves/Bolsheviks.
e'd have weapons of course.

Inb4 edge.

>>23144622
fucking saved

>>23140305
Frozen paintballs dont work great they are either frozen solid fired at alow psi do hutlrt people or they thaw slightly and rip appart in the marker.

>>23149829
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJoeGvn6MAY

>>23149883
>Revolver Ocelot
Revolver Ocelot

>>23149962
The joke is that the apache got involved.