Which 2hu would have you as their husbandu?

If your waifu was real she would think you are a creep, hang out with all the popular girls, and get banged by the nearest alpha male dudebro.

None of them. I'm a terrible person. The number of people who curse my very existence on this earth probably exceeds the number of posters on /jp/.

>>14687206
Sagume told me she would

>>14687214
What's a male?

>>14687273
It's cute that you think people actually care about you enough to hate you.

>>14687214
Pretty much this.
At the very best you'd manage to be the joke character at always gets laughed at.

>>14687206
Reimu said she wanted money

I have em

>>14688521
wriggle

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>>14688574
I was born for the job.

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Teaching Patchy strange and exciting feelings that she's never felt before!
Sharing a domestic life in the library with Patchy!
Raising three cute autistic children together with Patchy!

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Me and Yukari are the perfect match. We'll keep all of those faggots from the Yukari threads in the basement and abuse them on daily basis.

>>14687206
Realistically? Nobody.

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A new meaning of life.

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my favorite touhou bathes with her eyes closed so she stays 100% pure until she marries me
your favorite touhou bathes in nigger cum

>>14687214
>nearest alpha male dudebro
That's me

Now which 2hu wants me?

>>14688573
Don't make fun of him, maybe that anon is a yakuza kanbu.

Sometimes, I try to be extra handsome.

>>14688850
but she does it with her eyes closed

You could start something with Nitori due to your knowledge of human electronics.

>>14687206
I'd say Patchouli or Aya because of their hobbies.

>>14688848
>Modern japanese girl
>Wanting anyone from /jp/ as their husbando

You could get on with Kaguya due to having previous knowledges that she hides all the treasures needed to marry her in Eientei anyways.

Just show it to her face and watch as she's forced to marry you.

Probably the amanojaku because I don't give a shit about her.

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I have no real direction in life, so I would probably just keep asking Shiki for advice and then slavishly following said advice. I think this would make her like me as it seems like I am a just person.
But I would just be doing it becuase Shiki is apparently always right and I really would rather follow her directions than wander aimlessly.
I legit get jealous wen people talk about God talking to them. Even if they are crazy they atleast have a direction.

That or become Satori's only human pet. I think she would be a great shrink and help find what makes me tick.

How the hell do I impress Sakuya? Her standards must be astronomically high.

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Being hipsters, hating normalfags and wearing fedoras with Sumireko!

>>14688772
>>14690003
Samefag.

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>>14689993
Be the person that teaches Flan to live a normal life and act like her older sister.

Good luck anon.

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>>14687206
None.

>>14690003
>being hipsters
>hating normalfags
dude, hipsters are the ultimate normalfags.
I don't think you can be any more of a normie than being a hipster.

>>14690065
Tell that to Sumi.

>grr, I hate the people of the outside world they are always looking into their smartphones and not giving a shit about the world around them, yes I know I also have one but i'm not like them, I'm special and not one of those SHEEPLE
-paraphrased from the new CoLA chapter.

>>14690191
There's a reason why she's one of the most disliked 2hus, it's like Zun wanted to create the most obnoxious 2hu he could think of.


The sad thing is thanks to Sumireko, Renko is forever tainted.
And I even think less of Mokou because she actually became friends with her.

>>14690354
People dislike Sumi?

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>>14690354
>There's a reason why she's one of the most disliked 2hus
She's not. Stop believing /v/ memes are true. Or that YOUR opinion is absolute. Or both.

>>14690406
Is it your absolute opinion that his opinion is not absolute?

>>14688574
That doesn't sound so bad. Joke characters can be friends with 2hus atleast

>>14688848

Can I get a perverted dvd of this girl??

>>14690191
That just makes me like her even more.

>>14690360
"People" being a handful of western nobodies. Go to 2chan and see for yourself.

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>>14691639
Japs like Sumi-san so much they voted for Renko by accident in the popularity polls and moved her to 28th place, what a bunch of silly gooses.

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>>14691639
>That just makes me like her even more.
I know, right? For all of her flaws, I still think Sumireko is a really cool and likeable character.

Plus, her cape is not a cape I can say 'no' to.

>>14691667
Sumi has been cursed by very unimaginative parents. I mean, look at this:

宇佐見 菫子
宇佐見 蓮子

I just got weighed at the doctor and they said I was 204kg

So I don't think any 2hu would want me ;_;

>>14691749
At that point, you might as well just get a bypass or liposuction, you're beyond the point of "move more eat less". When's the last time you even moved at all?

>>14691766
On Friday when I went to the doctor

I generally don't go out too much since I get tired easily, so I just tend to relax at home

>>14691749
How does it even get to that point?

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>>14691834
I wonder if Maribel will get to know old woman Sumireko in the next Music CD.

>>14691687
But they aren't flaws.
I guess it takes a superior being to be attracted to other superior beings.

>>14687214
They would not. They are 2hus.

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I would like to live a happy, long and loving life with Nitori.

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>>14692623
>But they aren't flaws.
I mean stuff like her hipster-ism and her superiority complex. Those aren't positive character traits.

I still like them, though.

RIP