>had a dream I shat my trousers in bed turns out dreams

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>farted in my hand to get a cheeky sniff but now my hand smells like shit

>have to fart
>end up shitting out a slimy 6 inch log and it stains my sheets

this happened TWICE in the month of November

>try to burp
>throw up instead

The fuck is wrong with you people

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>>78888170
>in forest
>really need to piss
>need to be carefull because dinosaurs are everywhere
>finally find suitable tree to piss on while out of view of dinosaurs
>wake up
>pissed in GF's bed

Thats the last time i get drunk and watch Jurassic park before bed

quality thread

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>I'm at some girl's house I met at the disco
>she goes to take a shower
>feel really horny
>start jerking off
>she enters the room covered only with a towel
>she's impressed and we start fucking like there's no tomorrow
>wake up
>dog was licking my dick

>>78888242
SHART IN BED

>>78888242
:|