/brit/

West Sussex

/shit/

my sister is eating noodles and they fucking stink
hate east asian food

Which Protestant Church should I convert to, friends?

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>>76359675
None of them, feel the warm embrace of Rome

*struts into the thread*
*wallops my bollocks onto the table*
Well?! What have you?!

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So anon, about the churches...

>>76359675
Presbyterian Church

reckon the bible should stick to the king james version because when its translated into modern english people can see all the absurd nonsense in it.

>>76359710

Have a shot
*shoots you in the bollocks with a sawed off shotgun*
Ya runt

>>76359706
They don't let me in there anymore.
>>76359737
Seriously considering it, although spawn of Calvin killed a lot of my ancestors if the family history isn't 99% bullshit.

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>>76359742

>not just seeing it for the spooks it contains

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>>76359781
Have you been excommunicated or something?

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rate selfie lads

/shit/

>>76359785
more to do with the ignorant dullards duped into believing it.

Want a son who i can raise to avoid the same mistakes i made

>>76359781
PC has also lost about 2 million members in the last 20 years desu

Cucked the other OP lads

in a gay bar just because i fancy a drink and there are no pubs around ahaha

not gay though

My son posts here and hasn't avoided the same mistakes I made

>>76359877
haha alri dad
won't be reproducing btw

DUDE I'M NOT GAY

ah yes my house is being demolished

>>76359781
you been excommunicated lad?

>>76359904
why?

>>>/tv/84175008
new>>>/tv/84175008
new>>>/tv/84175008
new>>>/tv/84175008

>he doesn't go to the gym with two of his best mates and spend the time lifting and chatting up the local cunt

Lmao, you've made terrible mistakes in life

>>76359877
hi mum x

>>76359877
Ive out done my dad i reckon.

Still fell short of the ideal.

The son would be the optinal

>>76359904
hopefully with you in it

>>76359913
did it myself to get a free luxury apartment

>>76359934
what

>>76359934

Tens cancelled? Huh, what was wrong with it?

http://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/820095/Schoolboys-wear-skirts-school-on-hottest-day-of-the-year-protest-no-shorts-ISCA-College


someone heem me please

what the bloody fuck they're finishing construction of HS2 in like 2033

that is literally thousands of years away we will be colonising other galaxies by then what the FUCK why is it taking so long

>>76359981
it's the new thread
>>76359993
I think the owners are trying to sell it, not 100%

wife's son wants me to get him Cuckio Kart on the steam sale, any of you lads played it? is it age appropriate?

>>76360005
>muh equality
oh FUCK OFF

>>76360005
femboy revolution

>>76360025
you're more than welcome to do it yourself mate

>>76360005
Wore long jeans while working outside in 35 C weather without an issue.
Why are Britishers such sissies about the temperature?

who /lonely/ here?

Getting my daily dose of Molyneux and Sargon lads

dreamt i had a good short gf and now i am sad lads

very anger

>>76359901
Then why do you need to put
THIS MUCH EMPHASIS
behind your statemend?

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alri

had a good short gf once lads andnow it's a dream haha

in other news im going to stand on the train tracks

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anime

>>76359323
Minorities are precious because there are fewer of them.
No one cries over a pigeon with some nails in it but everyone cries for a run over peacock

CROSSRAIL today lads

>>76360138
they are looking at me after I had 7 minutes inheaven with Southern

>>76360097
no lol

>>76360097
cant say that i am

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just want to go back to the cronulla riots lads

>>76360250
once criminals, always criminals

>>76360097

*befriends you*

local gay bar has a new bartender who is this incredibly cute asian boy

thinking about maybe trying to put the moves on him but i sort of think bartenders probably get hit on so often hell be immune to my charms

whaddya think?

>>76360175
what about it?

got called reactionary in greggs

>>76360316
What's reddit about settling down and having a family?

>>76360250
what happens if you BRAAAAAAAP during one of these bow downs?

>>76359808
>>76359908
Told the parish priest that if he had the power to turn bread into the flesh of Christ, could he turn his dick into the "cock of Christ" before sticking it in my mouth.

Hot excommunicated after DNA tests confirmed it was his semen.

Why are British trains so utterly shit? Train delayed by an hour so far

Can't stand Owen off infowars

>>76360025
By the time it's built it will be years outdated. British infrastructure is a joke.

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>watching infowars

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UP TO MY FUCKING TITS IN BENADRYL AND IT'S DOING NOTHING AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

>>76360316
Why must great facial hair be wasted on pathetic manchildren like this?
O Fates! Why must an enlightened ubermenschen such as myself be deprived of mustache and beard?
I am morose.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fowu72-dKvM

There's a fucking random man skulking around in my garden not a fucking meme

>>76360373
no incentive for them to invest due to short contracts

monopolies over regional areas

also most of our train companies are owned by foreign companies who use the profit to invest in the railways in their countries

>>76360448
Pics x

>>76360430

10 to 1 that dude is more of a man than you are

>>76360448
pics

>>76360454
foreign governments* through state owned companies

>>76360426
hay fever medicine is a fucking meme m8 I do not believe in it at all

>>76360373
Because you didn't vote Labour

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Took the day off with ''''sunstroke'''' today when the reality is that I was duly suffering with a heady mix of melancholy, laziness and a mild case on DOMS.

>>76360309

pls be in Manchester

>>76360471
Nay, he be a lowly, juvenile swine.
I chortle at the thought of him besting me in any contest, physical or mental!
The young was probably sired by another man, as well.

wearing a skirt

>>76360533
stop crossposting

>>76360533
sqaeuking

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my facial hair is fucking annoying
grows back fast as fuck when i shave, gets pretty thick on the neck, but the cheeks/moustache/sideburns are very patchy

>>76360430
>Has a good-looking healthy baby
>Thick facial hair and heavy build
>Manchild

Umm sweetie... Evidence appears to suggest otherwise

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What do you guys think of tennis?

>>76360490
it's fucking shit mate, I go to the doctors and she writes me a prescription but it's the same shit they sell on the counter except 10x as expensive, so I go back and she writes me another one for something more powerful

My dad used to get steroid injections that sorted him out for the season, so I ask her for it and she says it doesn't exist, even gets another doctor in to say it doesn't exist

just what are (((they))) hiding? are they in the pocket of Big Pollen?

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why was this even allowed?

>>76360564

>Has a good-looking healthy baby

NONCE

>>76360564
>probably not even biologically his
>lump of fat who spends more time on the internet than at the gym
Yes, a manchild. Have I offended your master, squire? Be gone!

>>76360597
Just a bit banter wouldnt worry about it x

>>76360597

>never had a continental european empire

into the trash. Basically all they did was conquer brown and black people who were completely out matched

>>76360613
why are americans so overlysensitive about children
its like that Nirvana album all over again

>>76360636
if you spend moe time in the gym than on the internet you are autistic tbqh

gym shouldnt be more than 5-6 hours a week

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lel

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the lads

>>76360636
Just shut up and kiss me

>>76360694
magma ex-PM?

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>>76360711

>>76360737
>ex-PM
lel

>>76360685
Man is both the sculptor and the clay. He is content to let his clay gather dust and dry out into nothing.
>>76360714
Nay, sodomite!

>>76360594
I was downing the piriton yesterday and now all I think it did was give me the shits today

>tfw alcoholist

>>76360594
anti histamines make you drowsy thats why you were prescribed a higher dose
still does fuck all though, I do a nasal spray, take tablets and wear glasses and my eyes do be in bits at nighttime

>>76360677
Someone's jealous x

>>76360005
That's a very not subtle attempt by that headmistress to feminise those boys. She even went so far as to suggest they wear the skirts in the first place. Should be jailed for abuse of authority.

>get burnt during the sunny days
>now settled down to a healthy glow
>teeth look whiter
>eyes look greener
bit of a handsome lad, I am

>>76360794
*tips tin foil hat*

VERY worried about my future :/

>>76360779
yeah she tried to shill a nasal spray to me too, I've used them before but my nose is so blocked it just dribbles out so sod that

fucking hate that the back of my throat gets itchy too

>>76360749
I want that one!-NO-THAT ONE xD ! WAITTT OMG I WANT THEM ALL !!! :3

>cladding being removed

ah yes time to do a scaffolding urbex

How often do you need to think about killing yourself you can answer the question "Do you have suicidal thoughts?" with "Yes"?

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>sodomite

>>76360851
technically two

>>76360780

Not at all, we have a global empire that includes many european countries, such as your own

>>76360820
*points at your skirt and bullies you into suicide*

>>76360869
>How often do you think about suicide?
>Two.

Imagine trying to be clever and fucking it up this badly.

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>Not at all, we have a global empire that includes many european countries, such as your own

>owns 25% of the world
>loses war to some irish lads armed with hurleys
ah yes, the british empire

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can't think of any fresh gimmicks

>>76360941
>he says in English
whatever you say, cuckold.

>>76360888
*teleports behind you*

>>76360941
>fight for 800 years to remove the black and tans
>invite a new batch of black and tans
hate the republic

>>76360970
if I said it in Irish nobody would understand

had a pint before i start revision
but now im sleepy

tune in next week to find out what happens next

>>76360982
*turns around and laughs at your skirt some more*

I think my great grandfather was Irish or maybe one of his parents. Not sure though. How would I find out??

>>76360941
wow it's almost as if when your resources are stretched across continents its more difficult to focus on specific areas

gets the cogs whirring i'll tell you that for free

>starts war
>can't even get all of its own country back

bit embarrassing

>>76361013
*points at the sweaty patch on our trousers and laughs*

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BAHHHH

>>76361024
its almost like if you're a bugger country you have more resources to go around. Still cant beat a few lads armed with crop sticks

>can't even get all of its own country back
um sweaty read the GFA and how the British government has essentially given all the power to Ireland and NI

>>76361073
*literally doesn't care because men are supposed to be sweaty and wear trousers*

bugger country

He who must not be named is Donald trump
Dumbledore is Bernie Sanders

>>76360794
shut up you schizophrenic twat

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>>76361093
*sorts you into hufflepuff*

>>76361121
*doesnt look like someone who wet themselves and flies away*

>>76361134
I know that bloke lol

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not going to lie if it wasnt socially unacceptable i woukd wear skirts and thighhigh socks in a heartbeat

theyre cute

>>76361157
*everyone looks up your skirt and laughs at your tiny willy*

>>76361096
I'm talking man power you spastic, only so many foreigners you can force to be in your army

Nireland is still a part of the UK, we own it

not to mention you started your autistic war because catholics weren't being respected and then you go and legalise gay marriage ah yes, very in line with the bible's teaching

never paid attention to the tim gimmick
is he actually insane or is it just his gimmick

>>76361170
BIT gay

>>76361170
weewoo cuteeeee

>>76361151
bender

>>76361170
bender

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DXP1KdZX4io
choon

>>76361170
*squeezes your bum*

>>76361170
Skirts, yes, because pants are oppressive to my large bollocks. Kilts aren't gay.
Thighhighs are for legitimate benders, though.

>>76361181
>you started your autistic war because catholics weren't being respected
ah yeah all those irish nationalists actually only caree about religion, thats why they looked up to wolfe tone, the protestant
>caring what the bible says
alri rasheed cool it

>>76361180
*was wearing underwear the whole time because its not a kilt*

>>76361181
>Think of Tone. . . Think of how he put virility into the Catholic movement, how this heretic toiled to make free men of Catholic helot, how as he worked among them he grew to know and love the real, the historic Irish people, and the great, clear, sane conception came to him that in Ireland there must be not two nations or three nations but one nation, that Protestant and Dissenter must be brought into amity with Catholic and that Catholic, Protestant and Dissenter must unite to achieve freedom for all.

>"To break the connection with England, the never-failing source of all our political evils, and to assert the independence of my country—these were my objects. To unite the whole people of Ireland, to abolish the memory of all past dissentions, and to substitute the common name of Irishmen in place of the denominations of Protestant, Catholic and Dissenter—these were my means."

t. leader of the 1916 Rising and the Father of Irish Republicanism respectively

it's not gay, it's cute

>>76360005
EXETER

MENTIONED

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steam sale later

Love seeing schoolgirls in kneesocks in the morning

Nothing wrong with perving on 14 year old girls

>>76361276
err

>>76361250
*it's womens underwear so everyone laughs even harder*

>>76360147
Are you a train???

what the fuck is prosecco

>>76361276
the law says otherwise, proto-nonce

>>76361284
*poos on your head from the sky*

>>76361276
haha yea lad i agree what's your address so we can hang out and perv together


*is already on the phone to GCHQ*

Got a fidget spinner lads

>>76361310
sparkling wine

prosecco literally means extra dry

so it's extra dry sparkling wine it's alri

>>76361290
fantastic post
really like your posts

*makes it up as i go along*

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anime

>>76361335
bender

>>76361325
*just ends up pooing in his knickers because as he just said, he's wearing underwear*

POOEY KNICKERS LAD

POOEY KNICKERS LAD

POOEY KNICKERS LAD

>>76361335
debated getting a fidget gadget over the weekend but realized i wasn't an autistic melt so i decided against it

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Adam and Eve NOT Adam and Steve ok?!

live by the sword, die by the sword, my philosophy of life

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might unleash my best gimmick soon

>>76361360
*poo is too heavy for underwear and they both fall on your head and some goes in your mouth*

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need a gf (male)

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>>76361387
What about Adam and Xeve

>>76361416
*it was a hologram*

tory nonces out in force this afternoon

>how to know he doesn't have a gf
>>76361310

>>76360533
lol

>>76361454
*teleports the poo to your real location*

business idea: burn down own tower block and move into free luxury flat

>>76361517
hiya mate how are you doing

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the stresses of life are getting to me again lads

*stops posting because christ almighty you are a boring poster and a bender to boot*

*also refuses to give you a (You) for such dreadful improv*

Live by the Willy, die by the Willy
http://knowyourmeme.com/forums/general/topics/11161-boy-dies-after-masturbating-42-times-in-a-row

>>76361517
*deliberately gives you a ghetto handshake while mumbling out of date black slang*
haha alrizzle

>>76361525
it's not luxury

It's social housing. they probably have a separate hidden entrance too to keep them separated as well as lower quality materials and no access the gyms etc

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>>76361547
doing well, cracka bitch, quite well

*didnt get pood on*

feels good lads

>>76361615
What's he writing?

>>76361418
imagine being too bent for a real woman but thinking you're above gays. fuck off

*goes through the runt entrance to get into /brit/*

>>76361654
rhymes

>>76361654
welfare agreement signature

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what do brits call these?

>>76361691
smibbly bibbly

>>76361691
telly button stick

>>76361691
television wand

>>76361691

telly switcher

>>76361691
the remote

>>76361615
what the fuck is your problem, man

>>76361691
thingamajig

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https://efukt.com/22069_Cam_Model_Trolled_Out_of_Private_Show.html

>>76361691
channel rod

>>76361691
buttons

>>76361691
tv swiper

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why do londoners get all the investment?

>>76361691
swiper

>>76361691
thingymbob or thingmjig

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>>76361808
Swipe down is the truth

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3gIFqBdRsvE

>>76361691
picture box operatormebob

walnuts, peanuts, pineapple smells
grapes, melons, oranges and coconut shells

>>76361818
one londoner is worth 17 poortherners so it's just economically sensible to invest here

*grabs the /brit/ communal tv remote*
*sets a reminder for babestation*
*secretly places it back*

>>76361818
because the government are based in london and are selfish and greedy

>>76361830
septum piercings must be stopped

wtf? I love america now!

http://i.4cdn.org/gif/1497998275206.webm

>>76361691
sky fob

>>76361894
why
theyre hot

and you can always take them out if you dont like them - the hole isnt visible

>>76361930
I just got fired

>>76361830
hnngghhh

>>76361930
>France hat

just saw the new transformers lads, 0/10 would NOT recommend, michael bay is a fucking hack

>>76361894

agree desu. They always make me think of them as cows

>>76361930
looks like water
>american 'beer'

>>76361943
because it looks like a big bogey

just fired this twat for sitting in the office looking at some bird in a bikini when he should have been working lads

can make better cat noises than my cat

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>just saw the new transformers

It really is that simple to get (you)'s hmmmm

>>76362109
do a vocaroo lad

>>76362109
kss kss kss kss

>>76362122
post of the day

http://trumpdonald.org/

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how many pints have you lads had today?

i had a pint of cider with luncheon, but its made me pretty sleepy

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>tfw your thread gets a few replies in quick succession then dies out

i grow weary of frogposters

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>A man seeks revenge after his family is taken away by the IRA while the police did nothing to stop it.

>>76362285
good lad
>76362240
shant give you another reply

http://www.strawpoll.me/13256413

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>Yank bird messages me
>has no profile photo
>say I want to see a photo of her
>add her on whatsapp
>her photo is some weird anime bird
>sends me this

mental bitch

Been having some REALLY enjoyable dreams lately

Much more enjoyable than my actual life

>torrenting a movie
>ETA: 3d 5h

better get ready for Monday then

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today we're going to do shitposting up and down the /brit/

>>76362309
would be minted af if i only paid that much a month

>>76362040
just had an onahole wank

>>76362424
>af if
very annoying

my willy is sore

>>76362454
wanker

>>76362481
tranny hour soon?

got 2 dates booked with 2 different fit birds lads. don't know what's going on. feels dead normie.

>>76362481
till

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>>76362454

>>76362527
wont be reading this becuase it will make me upset sorry x

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>>76362527
>colour blindness
>racist

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OIIIIIIIIIIIII!

>>76362527
wish hitler won

>>76362533
woah... makes you think

@76362543
No.

>>76362527
black nail polish always looks so horrible

>>76361830
watched the whole thing
>tfw no lit gf

>>76362610
nah

>>76362607
apu the cat frog?

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sikhs are bro tier

[screenshot of extreme/outlandish leftist opinion posted on social media]

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will manlets EVER learn?

>>76362296

Is Pierce Brosnan playing Gerry adams?

>>76362598
tbf we should blame both
british press, esp. Murdoch's empire, is undeniably dishonest and shit

>>76362660
please think of the moderate leftists

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>>76362630
https://illusorysolace.wordpress.com/

her writings are very good

don't know why /lit/ sperged out over her alleged "pseudness"

ahh yes,

janny on top form today
well done lad

bellend got caught in the door

>>76362710
>tfw no racially ambiguous gf

Has Brit finally run out of gimmicks?

Unbelievably slow thread

slimy pu

>>76362775
uhh

bling bling
show me the money?

>>76362710
Love skinny girls

Bet she barely eays anything

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did puu

>>76362775
your gay

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this is a street car from the 1950s USA

wish I was a cute girl

holly cost

>>76362775
every1 's waitin 4 the nu thread la'

brewing up a new gimmick lads

watch this space

>>76362819
Where's the other part they shoved all the black people in and never cleaned? Don't white wash history

bellend stinks of skips

>>76362698
No we shouldn't. Islam is the fucking problem, when nothing is done to address the social, cultural and political issues it poses, people who are threatened will react, and of course putting bacon on the door handle of some mosque is worse than the Shoah according to the imam, and all these MCB turds they roll out on Daily Politics.

These Guardian cunts like Rowson and co. are still peddling this "hurr durr islam is a religion of peace" bullshit, but it's not and is wholly incompatible with the values upheld in the Western world.

I'll be a
[ ] Sad cunt
[] sick cunt

>>76362890
its here *points to my bellend*

faggot

>>76362710
Cause she's the definition of pseud. That's not an excuse for being rude, but she's the typical pretty girl hellow I'm an intelligent person because I'm interested in all these things althought I actually don't know about those things why guys see me only as a beautiful face number 7582748

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>>76362527
>white privilege

have resumed my /brit/ posting sponsorship deal with the Way2Save® convenience store lads. premium quality at low low prices? that'll be the Way2Save®.

>>76362916
disappeared√

got rejected again aha x

i am kids lover

how do i flirt with the bartender

>>76362960
*sits on your lap*

tell me about it

why would you want your leader crying after a terror attack? i'd never cry unless it was a family member killed maybe. i'd want my politicians to get angry and do something to stop it

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>>76362950

>>76362792
It'll do. Run with it lad.

unimportant end of thread poll
http://www.strawpoll.me/13256565/

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Absolutely over the moon to be renewing my contract with /brit/, great thread and great posters - roll on the next 5 years!

gimmick idea: lilly allen

>>76362974
*my legs are destroyed due to your obesity*
aaaaarghhhhhh

>>76363005
>>76363005
>>76363005
nu