What was the hardest job interview question you've ever

"Are you sexually active?"

"Are you virgin?"

"Y E S"

Once I was asked why my husband doesn't provide me with a job and money.
I kept silent.

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"Tell me about yourself."

"how long have you been unemployed?"

>>54858273
This phrase always kills me.

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>>54858273
>What have you done in your two years of unemployment?

Oh gawd no plz

>>54858211
Clever considering what you people do to gays

>>54858089
>>54858172
What kind of job are you looking for exactly?

Q: "why do you want to work here?"

A: "Because fuck working in the rain"

>>54858273
>>54860806
not lying, and filling in the gaps


Or awneering "ive been improving myself, and working on my hobbies"
which should be in your field of work.

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"so tell us about yourself"

I'm a fucking loser who needs money

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>we googled your name and couldn't find a facebook page. why don't you have one?

>>54861001
How is that hard?

"Because I don't want my life to be on public display"

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>What do you see yourself doing in 5 years?

I don't fucking know it may as well be a dead end job judging by how slowly pay rises have been going.

>>54858036
Why should we hire you

>"Do you ever walk outside, and look around thinking "there is no hope for society"?"

This was for cashier at a fast food place.

>>54861203
Should have said, "I'm thinking it right now".

You'd have been hired.

>Tell a funny story or a joke
I basically freaked out and couldn't answer. I ended up telling about how hard it was to get a driver's license, butt it bombed. I didn't get the job.

>>54861273
Here's one for next time: A Jew with an erection walks into a telephone pole, and hits his nose.

"why do you apply for us"
"why did you think you wanted to work for our company?"

Everyone would say "Just for fucking MONEY" in their minds but It's like forever taboo to say that in formal situations, so everybody lies alternatively.
Job interview is to compete who can tell lies the best

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"Just give me money and I'll do shit for you"

That's all you need to answer desu

This is all paraphrased because I don't remember the exchange exactly since it was quite a while ago. In my very first job interview ever, I was asked "How much money would someone have to take for you to consider it stealing" (it was for a loss prevention job). I told the interviewer to clarify because I didn't really get what he was asking. He said "you know, like pennies, dimes, how much would you let someone take before you consider it stealing?"
I told him any amount, even pennies.
He said okay and move on to the next question After that, they told me they really liked my interview even though I was nervous as fuck all the way through and I ended up getting hired despite having no work experience and the position wasn't entry level.
I think it was a trick question desu.

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>>54858036
Oh god. Don't remind me. I had a job interview for a telecommunication company last month. It was my first job interview ever. I was trying really hard to make a good impression, to keep the spaghetti in my pockets to don't embarrass myself.
Was doing fairly good, almost at the end, when they asked me to name 3 things I'd like to improve on myself. Without thinking I immediately replied "My attention span". My eyes widened in horror as I realized I screwed up, I was being honest!!! That's the biggest no-no in a job interview!
Spaghetti was ready to spill out of my pockets but thankfully I managed to shut up and not mention that I have a terrible Attention Deficit, Hyperactivity Disorder, and it's totally untreated btw.

Then I said I wish my English was better (This job was strictly English speaking) then for third I said I wish I could play the flute. The last question was to pick a word that describes me well, which would make them choose me over other applicants. I was fucking panicking at this point so I just said "Calm" because in truth I don't give a fuck about anything, least of all their company or corporate shit.
Aaaand that's when the spaghetti spilled. Needless to say I was not hired. Fuck them.

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>Well, Anon, your credentials are exactly what we're looking for and your references speak very highly of you
>However, I had trouble finding your facebook page
>The only one I could find in your name set to this town was full of pictures of sexually provocative cartoon children and extremely vexing posts regarding racial minorities and the nation of Israel

>>54861001
Haha why people thinks not having faceshit should be a red flag? People so stupid now

>>54863791
Being honest its good thing. Just dont bury yourself in shame retard

>Why did you leave you previous job?

>>54865159
I am seeking new challenges and improve my experience

>>54861001
Lol

>>54858036
>"Why do you want want to work for <retail business>?"
I don't, I just need money while I'm at uni.

>>54865159
My position was cut due to cost reductions

>>54865285
Just be honest lad

>What are your hobbies?

>>54865324
Doesn't work like that in the UK, you have to pretend you've grown up aspiring to clean toilets and have no dreams or hopes other than moping up piss.

>>54865336
Reading about seversl topics from novel, history, science, technology and phylosophy.

>>54858229
>"Tell me about yourself."
Fucking this.
tfw had no money or time for hobbys at the time and they told me this is actually why they declined me

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>>54858036
My dad forced me to go through an interview to work at his company for """"experience""""
They grilled me for 20 minutes with shit like

>"What do you do in your spare time?"
>"It says here you can also speak Spanish and English, why is that?"

>>54861105
With an answer like that, people here will assume you're hiding something. No job for you pal

>>54865185
>>54865302

They didn't like spics

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>interview for a job
t-they asked me why I wanted to work as a janitor when I applied

>>54865446
did you make it

>>54861607
>Job interview is to compete who can tell lies the best
This desu
>"why did you think you wanted to work for our company?"
"Because I fucking love the shit out of your company. Ever since I was a one year old I wanted to be a salaryman at your company and do unpaid overwork until 6:30 PM"

>>54865414
This, it's like saying you don't have a bank account or an e-mail address. You sound like a lunatic.

It's bang out of order though that your employers are entitled to snoop through your private life and can fire you for shit that happens when you're not at work or in uniform.

>>54865357
Well, just say a more partial truth. Also saying you just want money is looked down here. But saying that you can balance your time with partial job will improve your experience with customers

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>>54858036
>How would you approach designing a sequencing strategy for a highly heterozygous diploid plant species?

>>54865373
This is basic and expectee common question

>>54865483
Its better just say that Faceshit does not have anything interesting for you and you prefer to stay in touch trough other mrans such face to face and SMS/calls and emails

>>54865373
That's just an opening for you to list made up character traits that are conveniently matching those required for the job.
Assuming you're applying for let's say a janitor, tell them how you always like to have clean surroundings and are also bit of a perfectionist.

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>>54865463

>>54865336
I like to read about international affairs on the internet, easy peasy.

>>54865560
You would sound like an weirdo though.

>>54865505
Did he died?

>>54865560
nobody cares about your communication channels, they just want to see that you have friends and normal interests.

Given two arrays of size N, containing bytes, how do you write a function hasSum(unsigned N) that returns True if there exists an A[i] + B[j] = N (i and j can be any array index value) and False otherwise?

Won't get into it but I got it right I think cuz I got the job

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When it comes to formal conversations i never had any problems, ironically i seem to have a hard time with normal chit chat. The hardest question might have been:
>What's with those bad grades in some of your main chourses?
I'll admit i'm not that good at these so I oriented myself in another direction which happens to be the type of skills your company needs - look at *these* grades for instance.

>>54865789
Let me guess, you applied for a position as cook, right?

>>54865813
>look at *these* grades for instance.
>unzip dick

>>54865735
Having FB does not mean you have friends

>>54865813
wow people look at your grades for job interviews in Germany?

That's not done here

>>54858036
Huh

I have never had a job interview and will never have.I just wait for NK to give "third"...

>>54861001
This is a real thing in Germany.

So backstory, in the trades, there are fucking retarded local names for certain items, for example, I've come across about 10 different names for a pipe wrench and people act like you're fucking retarded when your like:

"What the fuck is that?"
"A Trojan Stillson, how do you not know what that is? Have you ever done this job before? are you retarded?"
"I've never heard of this in my life"

A Torjan Stillson is a local brandname for a pipewrench, instead of pipewrench and just saying "Oh a pipewrench" people in the trades look for any excuse to get up in any TA or Labourers face.

So anyone one job interview they asked me about my experience with something I can't remember what the fuck they called it but I was flawed? "A what?", "You know a *insert bullshit name*"

I was literally flawed, I had no idea what the fuck they were talking about and just stared at them for like a minute and the interview ended right after.

Turns out they were just talking about oxy acetylene welding or "Copper welding" but called it some bullshit name that they use in their company.

That was probably the most embarrassing interview I've ever had.

The question I hate the most in interviews is "Why do you wish to work with us?" for some bullshit entry level position. It's such a fucking wanky question that everyone knows is bullshit. I feel I never can get a good answer out of this because I never get interviews at places I'm actually interested in or qualified for.

What I hate the most about jobs though, when you are applying for jobs and every job has some fucking wanky PR name for the title that doesn't actually tell you anything about the job.

>Job - Qualitative Data Assistant Officer.

>We are looking for a Qualitative Data Assistant Officer to work for our Team.

And you spend your entire time thinking "What the fuck is a Qualitative Data Assistant Officer?" when in reality its just fucking data entry.

>>54865944
We also review college grades here. Why is not common in Burgerstan?

>>54858036
Q: "What you were doing through all these years?"
A: "... side jobs. Things... You know... installing cracked Windows for neighbors... all that stuff"

>>54858036
why would a cashier wear that much makeup?

>>54858036
>Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
I got hire, but this question was so fucking stupid.

>>54866005
>I was literally flawed

floored

>>54866023
Not good by being a thief

>>54866102
Yep, noticed that as I clicked submit.

>>54866047
Growing along the company amd helpinh others to improve the company

>>54858036
>Sell me this pen
Give me the break. Cashier of office supplies shop doesn't have to be this good at marketing.

>>54866008
Depends on the field but they just look at GPA and that is only if you don't have any other experience.
Quantity is more important than quality here. That is because most people work while going to school. I don't know how it is other places but I hear in nip land they usually focus solely on education.

It sucks for me because I have good grades but barely any experience. At the same time it seems somehwat fair because I know a lot of friends who work and struggle with school at the same time.

>"I work and you pay me, how fucking complicated is that?"
>"Y-you too"
>get trashbag with money and become CEO
Best day of my life.

I interviewed for a grad role but wanted to move interstate. So I selected that I would be willing to move to any of their offices but my home town.

The interviewers didn't realise this, and conducted the entire interview as if I was going to be working with them. Then they casually finished up by confirming I would be happy to work in that office, which I told them no.

Go to watch them work through shock and confusion for a good five minutes as they tried to understand what was going on.

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>"Okay, do you want to get this job? Can you show up on time and not screw up?"
>"Uhhh... I guess..."
>"You're hired, go pick your stuff and you better be there tommorow!"

I guess you guys have a bit of a problem, which is that you aim for jobs that are outside your reach.

>>54866340
Sounds like you work for the mafia tbqh

>>54866340
It's not that, but when you go for a job with actual Human Resources, HR tend to be fucking wanky as fuck to try justify their pointless existence, they'll give you a 2 hour interview in front of a 4 person panel, then if you pass you get a follow up 2 hour interview with another 4 person panel, they if you pass that they will spend a month working out which candidate they think suits them best.

The interviews also are filled with the most fucking bullshit questions as well.

I've gotten jobs by literally just turning up and saying "I want a job", but real career jobs are quite different from that sadly.

>>54866232
>I hear in nip land they usually focus solely on education.
Yes

Ofcourse many students work as a part time job
but there is a tendency that students should concentrate only on study.

Btw,honestly,nips don't study eagerlyXD

>>54865389
>monaco
>need to work

kek, you eurojews don't need to work a day in your life, fuck that shit, even a crepe costs 15euros there, poshiest place in the world

>>54858211
if you said anything would they have lynched you?
I heard in russia they still lynch gays

>>54866468
Entrepreneurship is the only real career there is.

Sadly the people in charge of my country work tirelesly to make it as hard as possible to start a business.

>>54866232
They don't even focus on your grades that much tbqh.
They just want to know which university you went to

>>54865082
Honesty is one thing. Being prepared and avoid panicking is another, and if there is several candidates for the job, you become the asshole that gets to chose.

>>54866575
>>54866520
Sounds better for me.

I love studying and testing but hate labor with a passion. Average 4chan qualities.

>>54866534
go to work moshe

I've been unemployed a bit from injury. The problem is the longer I'm unemployed the more lethargic and anti-social I get, even when hanging around friends I just find myself getting really tired and introverted.

Honestly if I went to an interview in the state I'm in mentally, I would probably not even be able to answer a single question without stumbling all over myself or freezing up.

>why do you want to work for us
What a load of shit. We both know the answer is that I want to earn money, why are we playing this fucking charade?

It's all about who you know.
Last interview was just a casual chat

>>54866740
this thread isnt for normies

>>54866740
>It's all about who you know.

I would say I've gotten 90% of jobs through nepotism.

>>54866740
>muh connections
Fuck off
>>54858229
>>54858273
>>54865336
These would fucking kill me.
>>54861776
This is how it should be.

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>>54858036
I got employed through an acquaintance
>"Anon, you will really contribute to what we're doing here, you should join us, I will solve the paperwork"

Few days later, I do the interview, it's all dandy. They accept me. Now they notice my catch:

>no social security
>no national health insurance
>ID that expired two years ago
>not enlisted in military able men (never answered the call)
>no supplementary health insurance
>no phone or phone number
>no bank account
>created one throwaway email just to apply for the job

>anon, we barely found you in the system, on your last home address, and you will have to sign this statement here that it is indeed you
>"Yea, I don't live there anymore. I did, six years ago"

>they forced me to take a company phone
>forced me to create a stable email for contacts
>signed me in for health insurance and supplements
>forced me to get a drivings license
>made me renewed my ID
>I am in the system now

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In bank while connected to polygraph
>On a scale from 1 to 5 rate how often do you mastubate on your workplace?
In trade school (for 15-19 yo)
>Why you are not married?
>Do you have a gf?
>Have you ever cheated her?
>Fresh meat is always better, am I right? (with face on pic)
And so on. 2 hours of such questions without any not regarding ephebophilia, eg about actual job responsibilities or qualification. Then I was sent to kind of trial lesson in gym class, despites I was applying to Information Science teacher. Coach told me "by secret" that he was told to spy on me and record my behavior, but he is "one of the lads" and will not do this, so I could feel free to slap any bitch while helping them to climb the rope.

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>>54867024

>>54867024
Knowledge, contacts and luck

>>54867040
Yes, the government can read your thoughts now. You should buy a tinfoil helmet asap

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It wasn't really a question but

>Bring at least 2 references from previous work experience


>I am 25 and have none

>>54867048
What? Really? With the polygraph? And why anyobe will jerk off in job? Russkies are crazy

>>54867112
>tinfoil
I am too lazy to follow up on bureaucracy. I pay in cash and live through my ills

>>54867048
Also girls are frequently asked if they have permanent sex partner, if don't have then how often do they engage in casual sex, what kind of contraception do they use. Married women without kids asked if they are fertile.

>>54867188
Why? Why? Those are not legit questions.

>>54867188
Are you ready for lunch in Moscow?

>>54867024
>How long have you been unemployed.

It's 2015, just make up a portfolio and say you've been doing freelance work, running your own market stall, repairing computers etc.

>>54867234
If it ain't banned, its legal i guess.

>>54867141
I don't know, but I answered "2" because I though that could be common if they ask about it, so "1" would be sound untruthful. They also asked if I am planning to suck gasoline from company car gas tank. According to contract I could use this car after work hours and drive anywhere I want, so I haven't got the point of this question.

>>54858036
"tell me about your good and bad sides"
Literally the stupidest crap i ever heard.

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>You are given a phone with no power and no noticeable markings. If you had to write a manual for this phone, what would you include?

Hardest question I've ever had and it was for the least prestigious position I've ever interviewed for

>>54867311
how to make up a portfolio?

>>54867447
Mate your people is more degenerates than mexicans

>>54867559
I have a portfolio because I threw raves and illegal parties so on my resume I did "festival management, stage design etc" I've got a portfolio of stages and shit I've worked on. In my spare time I got interested in art and started doing some design stuff in my spare time.

Not only that, you can make up anything, say you ran your own Ebay store, say you fixed computers etc.

Again, Freelance work, just make it up, make up evidence, make your friends your "clients" you worked for in the past.

>>54867559
Show the coolest stuff you ever done.
If the coolest stuff you ever done was done with your hand and penis, then find cool stuff made by others and say that you did this.

>>54867447
You have jerked off in job? Why? Theb, why not have vaginal sex with female coworker with no condom? Fuck, Russians are savage

>>54867433
Yeap, but non ethical

First job interview ever as a checkout lad for ASDA and the interviewer told me I had the job before the interview ended and asked me what shifts I wanted.

Only reason I wasn't nervous during the interview because I didnt want the job anymore and decided fuck it.

>>54858036
>How much money do you think you should make?
Thankfully this was for my first job which I had technically already gotten. The boss was being nice and sort of "training" me on how to interview with a prospective employer and taught me that you never want to be the one to suggest a number first.

>>54867725
>Are you married?
>Do you plan to have kids?
>What age are your kids?
These was the most common questions to women before they got literally banned, and several others.
Do you plan to have kids, was also asked to men who wanted into jobs where there would occasionally be longer more dedicated shifts per tariff.

"Are you good at anything?"

>tfw

>>54867846
Seems not sp bad, but russkie examples are bad taste and very intrusive in a rude way

>>54865483
Plenty of normal people don't have facebook, in fact more and more people are deactivating their accounts because they realise how stupid it is to have all your information online so anyone can read it.

I have one but it's under a different name to the one I put on my resumes so no problems there. I also make it private.

>>54867048
Wtf. Glad I live in a first world country тbh.

>>54867984
Its just a more rude way of asking if she will get a kid in the near future, and be missing from work for 1-3 years

>>54867635
I bet they were shitty psy trance raves

>>54868178
polite

"Please tell me your good points"

"......."

>>54867148
what if you break your leg or something?

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>>54865336
>>What are your hobbies?
In my first job interview, I told them I liked to read about spaceships. Cringed even as it was coming out of my mouth, but it was a panic answer.

>>54868290
burst out laughing

I'm just picturing the look on their faces in my mind's eye

>>54861869
it was. if you had named any amount they would have thought you like stealing. you did good.

>>54858211
well, why doesn't he?
Am I missing something here?

>>54865645
no you won't. stop overthinking this shit.

>>54865302
better option is : it is between me and my former employer.

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>why do you wake up in the morning ?
I said "to learn new things" and I got the job
and I didn't take it motherfucker

>>54868146
I've been on more than a hundred interviews, these are just most bizarre questions. General stupid questions are the same that I see in thread
>Tell something about yourself.
>How do you see yourself in 5 years?
>Name 3 positive and 3 negative traits of your personality.
>Why did you choose our company?
>Why we should choose you?
>Why did you leave every of your previous place of work (I had 18 for 6 years)
>What is your hobby?
>Will you continue to work if we will stop paying you?

I remeber only one stupid question from tech specialist, not HR manager, but it's asked on every fucking interview:
>What is the difference between a hub and a switch?
I usually ask "How many hubs are there in your office?" after reply and nobody have quality different from zero. Kind of oldfag test, I guess.

>>54863791
>I was fucking panicking at this point
>I don't give a fuck about anything, least of all their company or corporate shit.
sounds like you give at least one shit

Luckily for me, when I applied for a cleaning job all they did was tell me to come in the next day at 10.

>>54865789
is this particularly hard? i think it's easy unless i'm not understanding the question.

>>54868469
That you are a based antifeminist lad. People like you are not good for society. Even if the man is rich as hell, then should not beca restriction for women to work

>>54868719
i'm not anti-feminist. women can go to work if they want. idc. i don't understand why anon had trouble answering that question? i genuinely don't get it.

>>54867188
are you fucking serious? isn't it at least frown upon?

>>54867808
In Germany they expect to see that on your application. You write down the pay you expect and you better exaggerate a little bit. If your expectations are reasonable, they'll invite you and try to haggle.

>>54869507
Fuck you are a nation of social retards

>>54869601
why? this seems very reasonable. no one wastes time. though i think that giving at least salary brackets in ad is the best solution.

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>>54864858
>So, when can you start?

>>54868606
>Will you continue to work if we will stop paying you?
really? "Will you continue to pay me if I stop working?"

"How much do you expect to be paid"

>>54858036
>working at a CVS
She knows a hell most of you cannot conceive, and that's before neckbeards show up to take pictures of her

>what is your greatest achievement
Followed by
>why do you want to work for us

"What was the last thing you masturbated to"

>>54858036
HR whores only ask me generic "top 10" interview questions.

>apply for software developer
>start with a test: 19,5/20
>one hour long interview
>"we shall recontact you"

'what would you say is your worst quality?'

>proceed to tell interviewer of my heavy drink and drug habits, inability to hold than any previous jobs for more than a week, my opinions on how the holocaust is an obvious hoax, and the time I punched out an 8 year old child who I believed was trying to remotely control my brain

>>54858036
>What was the hardest job interview question you've ever been asked
"Are you planning on getting pregnant soon?"

I'm a guy that looks 0% feminine (although a little too skinny) and the question came from some uggo old woman, who, as I later learned, was trying to prove a point to her boss or some shit, that asking such questions is not OK at any point. Or whatever.

>how did you answer it?
I burst into manic laughter and left the room and the building. Only stopped laughing when I got on the street, because that would be awkward.

>If you were offered a better job while employed here, would you take it?

I gotta tell you, that's a loaded question.

>>54871952
and? did they hire ya?

>>54871952
I'd almost feel like applying for jobs I don't give a shit about and doing that for a laugh

>>54861001
>So some random corpo shmucks won't google my name and try spying on me, you hitlers.

>>54872033
still waiting to hear back
>been 2+ years

>>54872145
shame.

>>54866148
Well, wasn't that [spoiler]flawed.[/spoiler]

>>54861001
always have separate phone for work and social, when I'm not at work I turn my work phone off.
few months back they were short on staff at my work and were trying to ring me and of course my phone was off. went in work the next day and the boss was like "where were you, I was trying to call you but no answer, I even searched on facebook and everything for hours and couldn't find you anywhere" bit creepy

>short on staff but has the time to sit there fucking about on facebok for hours
>expects me to always be on call in case they need me at work

honestly, people are basically robots these days and as such get treated like robots

>>54872386
Nigga, you took the work phone. It's like saying "I'm available!".
Also, what does your contract says?

>>54872472
it's not a work phone, it's a separate phone I purchased so they don't have my personal number

>>54872540
So your other personal number designated for work-contacts?
Smart. Did it work, though? Didn't get you fired or whatever?
And why two phones and not one with dual sims or whatever?

>>54872683
>So your other personal number designated for work-contacts?
Yes, that exactly.
>>54872683
>Smart. Did it work, though? Didn't get you fired or whatever?
Yeah, of course, they didn't have a leg to stand on. It was my time off and it was a phone I purchased with my own money. I basically told my boss that outside of work hours I'm not answering my phone because I'm not getting paid to do so.
>>54872683
>And why two phones and not one with dual sims or whatever?
Easier and can have them both on at the same time (at work lel)

>>54872810
>I basically told my boss that outside of work hours I'm not answering my phone because I'm not getting paid to do so.
This is the only proper answer as far as answering phone during free time is concerned. Good for you.

>>54872800