"why do you apply for us" "why did you think you wanted to work for our company?"
Everyone would say "Just for fucking MONEY" in their minds but It's like forever taboo to say that in formal situations, so everybody lies alternatively. Job interview is to compete who can tell lies the best
This is all paraphrased because I don't remember the exchange exactly since it was quite a while ago. In my very first job interview ever, I was asked "How much money would someone have to take for you to consider it stealing" (it was for a loss prevention job). I told the interviewer to clarify because I didn't really get what he was asking. He said "you know, like pennies, dimes, how much would you let someone take before you consider it stealing?" I told him any amount, even pennies. He said okay and move on to the next question After that, they told me they really liked my interview even though I was nervous as fuck all the way through and I ended up getting hired despite having no work experience and the position wasn't entry level. I think it was a trick question desu.
>>54858036 Oh god. Don't remind me. I had a job interview for a telecommunication company last month. It was my first job interview ever. I was trying really hard to make a good impression, to keep the spaghetti in my pockets to don't embarrass myself. Was doing fairly good, almost at the end, when they asked me to name 3 things I'd like to improve on myself. Without thinking I immediately replied "My attention span". My eyes widened in horror as I realized I screwed up, I was being honest!!! That's the biggest no-no in a job interview! Spaghetti was ready to spill out of my pockets but thankfully I managed to shut up and not mention that I have a terrible Attention Deficit, Hyperactivity Disorder, and it's totally untreated btw.
Then I said I wish my English was better (This job was strictly English speaking) then for third I said I wish I could play the flute. The last question was to pick a word that describes me well, which would make them choose me over other applicants. I was fucking panicking at this point so I just said "Calm" because in truth I don't give a fuck about anything, least of all their company or corporate shit. Aaaand that's when the spaghetti spilled. Needless to say I was not hired. Fuck them.
>Well, Anon, your credentials are exactly what we're looking for and your references speak very highly of you >However, I had trouble finding your facebook page >The only one I could find in your name set to this town was full of pictures of sexually provocative cartoon children and extremely vexing posts regarding racial minorities and the nation of Israel
>>54861607 >Job interview is to compete who can tell lies the best This desu >"why did you think you wanted to work for our company?" "Because I fucking love the shit out of your company. Ever since I was a one year old I wanted to be a salaryman at your company and do unpaid overwork until 6:30 PM"
>>54865357 Well, just say a more partial truth. Also saying you just want money is looked down here. But saying that you can balance your time with partial job will improve your experience with customers
>>54865373 That's just an opening for you to list made up character traits that are conveniently matching those required for the job. Assuming you're applying for let's say a janitor, tell them how you always like to have clean surroundings and are also bit of a perfectionist.
Given two arrays of size N, containing bytes, how do you write a function hasSum(unsigned N) that returns True if there exists an A[i] + B[j] = N (i and j can be any array index value) and False otherwise?
Won't get into it but I got it right I think cuz I got the job
When it comes to formal conversations i never had any problems, ironically i seem to have a hard time with normal chit chat. The hardest question might have been: >What's with those bad grades in some of your main chourses? I'll admit i'm not that good at these so I oriented myself in another direction which happens to be the type of skills your company needs - look at *these* grades for instance.
So backstory, in the trades, there are fucking retarded local names for certain items, for example, I've come across about 10 different names for a pipe wrench and people act like you're fucking retarded when your like:
"What the fuck is that?" "A Trojan Stillson, how do you not know what that is? Have you ever done this job before? are you retarded?" "I've never heard of this in my life"
A Torjan Stillson is a local brandname for a pipewrench, instead of pipewrench and just saying "Oh a pipewrench" people in the trades look for any excuse to get up in any TA or Labourers face.
So anyone one job interview they asked me about my experience with something I can't remember what the fuck they called it but I was flawed? "A what?", "You know a *insert bullshit name*"
I was literally flawed, I had no idea what the fuck they were talking about and just stared at them for like a minute and the interview ended right after.
Turns out they were just talking about oxy acetylene welding or "Copper welding" but called it some bullshit name that they use in their company.
That was probably the most embarrassing interview I've ever had.
The question I hate the most in interviews is "Why do you wish to work with us?" for some bullshit entry level position. It's such a fucking wanky question that everyone knows is bullshit. I feel I never can get a good answer out of this because I never get interviews at places I'm actually interested in or qualified for.
What I hate the most about jobs though, when you are applying for jobs and every job has some fucking wanky PR name for the title that doesn't actually tell you anything about the job.
>Job - Qualitative Data Assistant Officer.
>We are looking for a Qualitative Data Assistant Officer to work for our Team.
And you spend your entire time thinking "What the fuck is a Qualitative Data Assistant Officer?" when in reality its just fucking data entry.
>>54866008 Depends on the field but they just look at GPA and that is only if you don't have any other experience. Quantity is more important than quality here. That is because most people work while going to school. I don't know how it is other places but I hear in nip land they usually focus solely on education.
It sucks for me because I have good grades but barely any experience. At the same time it seems somehwat fair because I know a lot of friends who work and struggle with school at the same time.
I interviewed for a grad role but wanted to move interstate. So I selected that I would be willing to move to any of their offices but my home town.
The interviewers didn't realise this, and conducted the entire interview as if I was going to be working with them. Then they casually finished up by confirming I would be happy to work in that office, which I told them no.
Go to watch them work through shock and confusion for a good five minutes as they tried to understand what was going on.
>>54866340 It's not that, but when you go for a job with actual Human Resources, HR tend to be fucking wanky as fuck to try justify their pointless existence, they'll give you a 2 hour interview in front of a 4 person panel, then if you pass you get a follow up 2 hour interview with another 4 person panel, they if you pass that they will spend a month working out which candidate they think suits them best.
The interviews also are filled with the most fucking bullshit questions as well.
I've gotten jobs by literally just turning up and saying "I want a job", but real career jobs are quite different from that sadly.
I've been unemployed a bit from injury. The problem is the longer I'm unemployed the more lethargic and anti-social I get, even when hanging around friends I just find myself getting really tired and introverted.
Honestly if I went to an interview in the state I'm in mentally, I would probably not even be able to answer a single question without stumbling all over myself or freezing up.
>>54858036 I got employed through an acquaintance >"Anon, you will really contribute to what we're doing here, you should join us, I will solve the paperwork"
Few days later, I do the interview, it's all dandy. They accept me. Now they notice my catch:
>no social security >no national health insurance >ID that expired two years ago >not enlisted in military able men (never answered the call) >no supplementary health insurance >no phone or phone number >no bank account >created one throwaway email just to apply for the job
>anon, we barely found you in the system, on your last home address, and you will have to sign this statement here that it is indeed you >"Yea, I don't live there anymore. I did, six years ago"
>they forced me to take a company phone >forced me to create a stable email for contacts >signed me in for health insurance and supplements >forced me to get a drivings license >made me renewed my ID >I am in the system now
In bank while connected to polygraph >On a scale from 1 to 5 rate how often do you mastubate on your workplace? In trade school (for 15-19 yo) >Why you are not married? >Do you have a gf? >Have you ever cheated her? >Fresh meat is always better, am I right? (with face on pic) And so on. 2 hours of such questions without any not regarding ephebophilia, eg about actual job responsibilities or qualification. Then I was sent to kind of trial lesson in gym class, despites I was applying to Information Science teacher. Coach told me "by secret" that he was told to spy on me and record my behavior, but he is "one of the lads" and will not do this, so I could feel free to slap any bitch while helping them to climb the rope.
>>54867048 Also girls are frequently asked if they have permanent sex partner, if don't have then how often do they engage in casual sex, what kind of contraception do they use. Married women without kids asked if they are fertile.
>>54867141 I don't know, but I answered "2" because I though that could be common if they ask about it, so "1" would be sound untruthful. They also asked if I am planning to suck gasoline from company car gas tank. According to contract I could use this car after work hours and drive anywhere I want, so I haven't got the point of this question.
>>54867559 I have a portfolio because I threw raves and illegal parties so on my resume I did "festival management, stage design etc" I've got a portfolio of stages and shit I've worked on. In my spare time I got interested in art and started doing some design stuff in my spare time.
Not only that, you can make up anything, say you ran your own Ebay store, say you fixed computers etc.
Again, Freelance work, just make it up, make up evidence, make your friends your "clients" you worked for in the past.
>>54858036 >How much money do you think you should make? Thankfully this was for my first job which I had technically already gotten. The boss was being nice and sort of "training" me on how to interview with a prospective employer and taught me that you never want to be the one to suggest a number first.
>>54867725 >Are you married? >Do you plan to have kids? >What age are your kids? These was the most common questions to women before they got literally banned, and several others. Do you plan to have kids, was also asked to men who wanted into jobs where there would occasionally be longer more dedicated shifts per tariff.
>>54865483 Plenty of normal people don't have facebook, in fact more and more people are deactivating their accounts because they realise how stupid it is to have all your information online so anyone can read it.
I have one but it's under a different name to the one I put on my resumes so no problems there. I also make it private.
>>54868146 I've been on more than a hundred interviews, these are just most bizarre questions. General stupid questions are the same that I see in thread >Tell something about yourself. >How do you see yourself in 5 years? >Name 3 positive and 3 negative traits of your personality. >Why did you choose our company? >Why we should choose you? >Why did you leave every of your previous place of work (I had 18 for 6 years) >What is your hobby? >Will you continue to work if we will stop paying you?
I remeber only one stupid question from tech specialist, not HR manager, but it's asked on every fucking interview: >What is the difference between a hub and a switch? I usually ask "How many hubs are there in your office?" after reply and nobody have quality different from zero. Kind of oldfag test, I guess.
>>54867808 In Germany they expect to see that on your application. You write down the pay you expect and you better exaggerate a little bit. If your expectations are reasonable, they'll invite you and try to haggle.
>proceed to tell interviewer of my heavy drink and drug habits, inability to hold than any previous jobs for more than a week, my opinions on how the holocaust is an obvious hoax, and the time I punched out an 8 year old child who I believed was trying to remotely control my brain
>>54858036 >What was the hardest job interview question you've ever been asked "Are you planning on getting pregnant soon?"
I'm a guy that looks 0% feminine (although a little too skinny) and the question came from some uggo old woman, who, as I later learned, was trying to prove a point to her boss or some shit, that asking such questions is not OK at any point. Or whatever.
>how did you answer it? I burst into manic laughter and left the room and the building. Only stopped laughing when I got on the street, because that would be awkward.
>>54861001 always have separate phone for work and social, when I'm not at work I turn my work phone off. few months back they were short on staff at my work and were trying to ring me and of course my phone was off. went in work the next day and the boss was like "where were you, I was trying to call you but no answer, I even searched on facebook and everything for hours and couldn't find you anywhere" bit creepy
>short on staff but has the time to sit there fucking about on facebok for hours >expects me to always be on call in case they need me at work
honestly, people are basically robots these days and as such get treated like robots
>>54872683 >So your other personal number designated for work-contacts? Yes, that exactly. >>54872683 >Smart. Did it work, though? Didn't get you fired or whatever? Yeah, of course, they didn't have a leg to stand on. It was my time off and it was a phone I purchased with my own money. I basically told my boss that outside of work hours I'm not answering my phone because I'm not getting paid to do so. >>54872683 >And why two phones and not one with dual sims or whatever? Easier and can have them both on at the same time (at work lel)
>>54872810 >I basically told my boss that outside of work hours I'm not answering my phone because I'm not getting paid to do so. This is the only proper answer as far as answering phone during free time is concerned. Good for you.
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