/brit/ - I Wanna Get Off This Stinkin' Island Edition

maisie

mio akiyama

who /crisps and slags/

>>54804463
got the gf's husband to watch my son tonight while we head out for dinner

Slags

@54804463
fuck off then you utter cunt

watching the wife's son while shes at a dinner meeting

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my family tree waheyyy

>>54804498
crisps desu

>early
fuck off

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nth for sexual jihad in the EU

banned from /gsg/ again that's why i'm posting here atm

Reckon I could make every lad in this thread cum in 10 seconds.

My BJ technique is superb.

>>54804498
anything but prawn cocktail and salt and vinegar isn't even worth entering my mouth tbqh

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Chitanda

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>>54804498

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Alri

>>54804537
Must be a very slow modem to restart you got there

>>54804530
t. janny

>>54804537
didnt know they had a gay sex general

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I really meant that last post btw

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>have the bolton accent
>very distinct
>have to say "garlic bread" 5000 times whenever i leave bolton

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TAKE THE GAEL OUTSIDE THE PALE

>>54804545
I unironically want to suck a fat, majestic dick within my lifetime... I would go to town on it and swallow.

Bicurious

>>54804546
Tayto's spring onion used to be good, but it's shit now :c

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post your crisps folders lads

doing an existential dread

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>He's a member of the SWP
>He's been photographed holding "Stop the racist UKIP" placards

going to go to bed now
sleepy time
hope I don't wake up

>>54804581
http://vocaroo.com/
pls

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>have the bolton accent
>very distinct
>have to say "garlic bread" 5000 times whenever i leave bolton

>>54804463
Why would you want to do that friendo?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-4qYRRS3Xw

>>54804584
>o'rorke

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>when a yank talks to you about crisps

9am lecture tomorrow lads

should i go?

>>54804581
>Shitty northern satellite towns

Thank God im mancunian desu

I run my tongue around the frenulum and push my fingers firmly into the perineum then occasionally stimulating the anus whist I take the length in my sloppy gob.

Stolen? STOLEN?!

*storms off*

>>54804651
yes

>>54804603
>hula hoops
truly dreadful
mine are:
>walkers
>mccoys
>kettle
>space raiders back in the day before they went up to 20p

>>54804463
theres literally no place to go
>rest of western europe
kek
>usa
60% white and lowering
>canada
chinks and mudslimes will soon outbreed canadacucks
>straya
same as canada

the only place you can go is eastern europe, but you wouldn last since you are a spoiled faggot. the only place to go is fucking uruguay

>>54804644
>walkers is owned by lays

>>54804656
paki

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>>54804546
>prawn cocktail
>salt and vinegar
>not exclusively cheese and onion

>>54804673
that doesn't sound like a fun idea though

>>54804463
only time i've keked at an edition tbqh

>>54804672
good riddance to bad rubbish

>>54804706
just go

>>54804706
What is the lecture about?

>>54804700
>>54804546
worcestershire sauce masterrace

>>54804643
rorke

Post salt and shake

>>54804729
FOY I DIDN'T ASK YOU

>>54804731
haskell

>>54804573
i have a dynamic IP but if I try to reset it my ban reason changes to 'avoiding ban'

>>54804681
Literally NEED to knock up white women and immediately move on to the next one for my race to survive

>>54804681
>not going to panama

>>54804736
o'rasheed

>>54804563
> Falklands deal
REEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEE

wish i hadn't opened my mind to atheism

>>54804740
Go fucking hang yourself you sheepnonce.

>>54804747
clear your 4chan cookies silly

been averaging 4 matches a day

>>54804747
Clear your biscuits, I mean cookies

>>54804681
idk czechia looks pretty comfy to me

>>54804740
>i partake in self-salted crisps
>i find ready salted rather lacking

>>54804767
o'mehmet

>>54804786
haha

*storms back in*

>>54804747
Delete your cookies after resetting your IP then reload the page

*storms off again*

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>>54804809
it's beginning

>>54804745
Sounds complicated, you should probably go and make sure you understand it.
>>54804733
Very good post.

>>54804783
if you play too much fifa your mum will get mad with you

>>54804782
>tfw no ketted out slag gf

i ate a large bag of doritos for breakfast most days in first year

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need a rooney mara gf

>>54804809
pick tranny if you want a job

ATTENTION ATTENTION ATTENTION ATTENTION ATTENTION ATTENTION
ATTENTION ATTENTION ATTENTION ATTENTION ATTENTION ATTENTION
ATTENTION ATTENTION ATTENTION ATTENTION ATTENTION ATTENTION
ATTENTION ATTENTION ATTENTION ATTENTION ATTENTION ATTENTION
ATTENTION ATTENTION ATTENTION ATTENTION ATTENTION ATTENTION
Why hello there young man, how are you today?

Today is your very special lucky day because you have given a great opportunity here.

You will have to perform just one very simple task.
You will get the girlfriend of your dreams within one week and that is my gold plated "personal guarantee"

But only if you do the simple task.....

It seems Pepe is being a naughty boy and isn't wiping his botty after making, so you will have to do it for him, even although he knows how and is old enough to do it himself.

Simply type in here *WIPES PEPE'S BOTTOM* and you will get your dream girl within one week 100% guaranteed

just type in *WIPES PEPE'S BOTTOM* and you lonely days are over - you will be approached by "her" - she will do all the talking and asking and will never hurt, betray or leave you.

I wish you both happiness in your life together.

getting flashbacks of sony erricson w810i's and the portable speakers on the back of the 94 bus tbf
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRgT2fu-AJ4

>>54804681
Australia is better off than we are atm

the real issue is that any major future instability in Asia will see a horde of them flooding in.

but for now its controllable

Canada is easily able to control who comes here, just the governMENt lets a load of rich cunts bypass the system and sponsor boatloads of people

>>54804841
>Sounds complicated, you should probably go and make sure you understand it.
but that means i have to get out of my bed at 8am

i don't want to do that at all

>friends sends me a picture of my gf from behind on snapchat
>caption "your gf"
what the fuck do i do? he wasn't probably trying to make it like a creepshot, but what the fuck?

just did a shave lads

>>54804809
I've had shit from government or uni or companies that literally have 13 or more different genders to select

How easy is it to get a british bf?

>>54804754
the diference is that uruguay is not a tropical paradise, they are actually white.
it wouldnt change nothing moving to one shitskin land to antother (i know panama is not a island)

>>54804881
lol

>>54804849
I had Mini Cheddars a lot tbqh

on second to last day of term i bought 2 pizza one for tea each day and then i ate them both on the second to last day i bought them on and had to have noodles on toast the last day

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The insects feast upon my mangled bollocks. A thousand black locusts make me climax one last time. This is the final orgy of Maisies

>>54804902
just bee urself

>>54804885
be jokey about it then sucker punch him next time you meet

>>54804896
I'm going to need to see some ID young man

>>54804884
8am isn't that bad, just make sure you get to sleep before 2am.

>>54804896
What did you shave?

>>54804885
lol

>>54804902
dunno lol

>>54804885
get your cock out and send him a picture of your massive erection

>>54804948
i didn't get out of bed until 3pm today
8am is quite bad

>>54804947
haha i'm almost 30. thanks for the compliment though

>>54804950
my face

The forces of imagination and of Apollonian dream are saved only by myth from indiscriminate rambling.

>>54804950
nads

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>>54804902
give him a crate of blue wicked la

>>54804885
send him a picture of your hand with the caption "your gf"

>>54804885
he is doing her from behind
leave your gf's son with your mum for a bit and see whats going on

>>54804885
>what the fuck do i do?
fuck off normie yank twat

>>54804964
>3pm
You should try to reset your sleep pattern, starting tomorrow.

the half brother just referred to me as 'whiteboy'
really not happy about this

>>54805025
yeah but i'll be tired tho

>>54804993
this
good bant

>>54804993
this desu

>>54804991
this lad comes up to you in a club and glasses your gf on the arse

what do /b/?

>>54805025
font

>>54805045
get banged

>>54805043
>>54805033
that has some homosexual implications

>>54805045
chat shit

>>54805030
say "i can't believe you've done this" and then hit him

need a hug desu

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feelin fine lads

think im going to go to bed very soon

lads what should i have for me dinner tomorrow

no kebab shop food and no steak, i've had those recently

>>54805030
is he a paki
are you a half paki

>>54805032
Well that's what you get for sleeping in until 3pm.
>>54805046
foat

>>54805091
i might join u la

>>54805093
kebab shop steak

haha is it true that all yank cash machines charge to take money out

>>54805069
don't be such a baby
Christ no wonder your country has such huge sexual issues

>>54804993
This, I like this

>>54805030
solution: shout "COMBAT 18 TERROR MACHINE" and kick him really hard in the bollocks

>>54805115
foant

>>54805143
>DEX vs. STR

how can i cheat and get away with it like chinese do

>>54805134
Quite a few in Europe do too.

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>>54805175

>>54805154
>your girlfriend is my hand
doesn't work as a bant m8, it would have to be his hand to imply that he can only get himself to touch his dick

>>54805134
>there are people ITT who actually use the machines that charge £1.75
i point blank refuse

>>54805179
Get your cock out and go for it lad

>>54805143
there's a joke in here about ireland somewhere

>>54805174
>bottle of piss
>classic board wargames in the background

foant

>>54805179
have a chinese gf which the only goal in her life is whitening her children

>>54805196
POWERSLAM

>>54805143
>turkish–armenian war.webm

>>54805183
fucking magnets

>>54805179
pinch your eyes and put mustard on your face la

>>54804501
Winner winner chicken dinner

Which American accent is your favorite?

>inb4 none of them

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EUvbrY_ec60
>the lonely stoner seems to free his mind at night
me irl

>>54805196
DEXFAGS ON SUICIDE WATCH

>>54805134

the vast majority yes

they really jew you in some places by charging $3 for withdrawal and having max withdrawal per transaction as $200. need $600 so had to pay $9 + 3x transaction fees for a foreign card + foreign currency fees with my bank

part of the reason I spent 5 grand over there

>>54805223
I fucking kek'd

>>54805258

They're all the same, so none of them.

got lost looking for the train station near mecca bingo

>>54805199
only time i've done it is when i've been out of my face in clubs desu

>>54805258

carolinas

>>54805249
how do they work

>>54804947
FUCK
OFF

got kissed by a girl last night

>>54805091
Going to fall asleep in the bath and drown

>>54805305
You can't deport me :^)

>>54805296
most places will let you use your card for free at the bar
that never ends well though

>>54805258
Appalachian

Post tunes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CllT2SIw83Q

>>54805334
usually a min charge i think

>>54805343
appala-chan

Rate my life plan lads

1. Get a high paying STEM graduate job
2. Apply for Swiss citizenship
3. Live in the glorious countryside in an entirely White town
4. Marry a beautiful blonde woman and have lots of babies

seen the SU women's officer riding a bicycle on the tram tracks

>>54805087
*hugs*

>>54805322
Get your cock out and pat yourself on the back m8
Congratulations

>>54805374
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=03iwAY4KlIU

>>54805376
in some parts of switzerland they eat cats

>>54805376

Boring/10

Would honestly prefer just to die due to doing an insane bender at the age of 25 in all honesty.

I've got an interview at a call centre tomorrow. What's it like working their? What do you actually do when you're not taking calls?

>>54805387
Thanks :3

>>54805376
optimistic/10

the swiss don't want any old STEM pleb, they won't let you in. won't happen unless you get a job with 6 figures+

the swiss are usually cunts too, they take the worst attributes of the french and the germans

>>54805405
i eat pussy haha

>>54805350
people who listen to osts are the worst kind of people

>>54805326
poor show; this is very late for a bath

im off and away now give me a hug

>>54805429
sersh said you're not allowed to do anything
apparently he had a day where he received zero calls and just had to sit there

can't take your phone out or anything

>>54805429
Get your cock out and pretend to be taking more calls

lads listening to abit of chase and status aha

fucking mental

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x6JIGto-gNo

>>54805429
It's shit but easy, just really boring

You sit there waiting for someone to answer/call in

>>54805429

You get about a minute maybe less between calls so you just chat to the person next to you. If they have you reading from a script its honestly the most soul destroying job i can think of.

>>54805430
<3

>>54805343
united statians should have took mark twains advice and renamed the America to Appalachia tbqh

>>54805410
what is so good about going in night clubs in big cities, get cucked by pakis and have to live to see london becoming 0% english.

>>54805458
music like that honestly makes me thing millenials have no souls

If your welling to travel to galway from Kildare i'll private message you

Rate my life plan lads

1. Get pass without honours STEM degree from a second rate university
2. Apply for Swiss citizenship
3. get rejected
4. Live in the countryside in an entirely White town full of chavs, criminals, no hope and rampant unemployment

I'd smoke weed but don't know where to buy it

>>54805513
the internet

>>54805376
i don't see any wester women having more than 3 babies. but good luck, is a nice dream

>>54805452
*gives you a wet, naked hug*
xxxxxxxxx

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Hypothesis: Move to Ireland and start a farm breeding qt Irish girls for sale to wealthy bankers

>>54805513
I've got a bit extra to sell lad

>>54805488

i live in Manchester so it isnt as bad.

>>54805391
the first lad sounds like the granddad from hey arnold

>>54805506
definitely doable

>9am
>10am
>12pm
>2pm
>3pm
>5pm

what a shit day

>>54805488
because pakis hardly go to nightclubs and when they do they get told to fuck off by the bouncers or pied by every girl
they just drive up and down the main street in rented cars
t. pakified city

>>54805497
I live in galway and I honestly think I've seen him walking the streets alone wearing a sorrowful expression near supermacs where he sits alone on a bench

>>54805530

Been Ireland. The girls over there are honestly worse than brit girls bgl.

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Finally accepted that I'm getting jewed out the arse when I buy music on Beatport.

>>54805532
>home of the curry mile
>n-no pakis here lads!

There's far too many faggots here on /brit/ these days. When did it all go wrong?

>>54805549
we should all get together and throw him a party

>>54805488
>cucked by Pakis in a nightclub
doesn't happen, white girls only sleep with pakis on the promise of drugs, fags and booze

>>54805522
What website

Do I have to buy bitcoin Shite

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>>54805566
>he doesnt get spotify with his isp at no extra cost

>>54805574
yeah, 14 year olds, kek

>>54805544
>they get told to fuck off by the bouncers

why

>>54805566
people still actually buy music, in the current year

>>54805559
gonna take some good effort then to get them in decent shape
might have some defects but I think a generation or two of selective breeding could get them worthy for sale to some powerful clients

>>54805604

>Dont drink

Chances are they're gonna bring in drugs or date rape drugs. I dont blame bouncers for turning them away.

>>54805529
*headbutts you fondly in the chest but you experience a sharp jolt of pain and later realise that one of your ribs has cracked*

>>54805530
Really like where this is going

>>54805535
Yes. I WILL retire into extreme isolation somewhere in that region with my guns and my dogs and a qt irish girl I bought from the canadian lad and a creaky porch with a rocking chair and a drinking problem.

>>54805576
localbitcoins for bitcoins
then go to the darknetmarkets thing on reddit and read the guide on the sidebar

most popular market currently is probably nucleus

There would only be one parent moving back if I brought it back. Father is in a home. The guy has let down so bad with grass growing about 5 feet all around. It would take some work to bring it nice again.

We would of had the mortgage paid off years ago if we still lived there

>>54805604
because they are pakis

>>54805566
>torrent all my music and use spotify for just casual listening at home
wew

>>54805623
might as well stay in the US in that case
plenty of isolated towns all over

>>54805588
>>54805605
>>54805635
Literally cannot find most of the music I want to get on anything

Should really join a private tracker

>>54805628
And they post it to you? Is that legal?

I won't get some random paki knocking at my door

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going to smoke a cheeky spliff lads

>captcha = 421

fucking not far off 420 eh?

>>54805631
fucking parents getting ill
why is life unending misery

>>54805682
dude weed lmao lol

>>54805681
it's posted to you, all in vacuum sealed bags with no smell

it isn't legal but you won't get caught

>>54805678
desu even for obscure stuff you can usually find it somewhere

Youtube is generally reliable for most things but rarer stuff is often shit quality


finding more obscure stuff in decent quality is a challenge though

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>I smoke we-

>>54805682
degenerate

>not using spotify and just adding your own obscure tunes/albums onto it

>>54805678
soulseek

>>54805691
rofl kek

>>54805726
whatever helps you sleep at night

discover weekly hasn't been updated yet lads

>>54805672
That's where Appalachia is m8

>>54805741
Already use it
I always upload the stuff I buy, though

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Big
Asian
Arses

>>54805752
I thought you were the Switzerland guy

Localbitcoin is confusing

Will just buy alchohol

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the queen is in pakistan lids, not sure what to think of this

>>54805803
it really isn't

>>54805749
mine is
it's shitty soundcloud rap and pc music
literally not even close to what I listen to regularly

>>54805784
fuck off paki

>>54805784
fuck off paki

>>54805817
>literally not even close to what I listen to regularly
wew i get this too this 2deep4u indie shite i only really encounter in my spotify weekly

>>54805803
Get your cock out and get some whisky

AJ from the lane but it ain't tottenham

>>54805809
isn't she argentine?

gonna set my alarm for 8am but i'm almost definitely not going to the lecture

i'll try and make the 12pm one instead

>>54805815
Can you pay with PayPal or bank transfer only seems like there's only 2 people in Ireland who sell it

conductor, we have a problem

>>54805878
she is

>>54805784
fucking repulsive

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>tfw no one ever mentions Snaps spicy tomato crisps in these threads

But why doe?

>>54805894
bank transfer only or that paym shit

ah that's shit, maybe try a uk person, idk if it works but worth messaging someone

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVz6TWc9-Gs

>>54805912

>Council estate crisps

Ewwww

caretaker, we have a problem

Darknet lads, how expensive is weed on them? Any recommended vendors?

got 3 grand today from the government lads

>>54805963
good lad

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Rate my paki

>>54805809
Queue the poo in loo gang rape.

>doing a dev
What did he mean by this?

>>54805957
mendosa, £50 for 10g

from spain though, but stealth is good

>>54805979
Rasheed

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r8 the gf or face the consequences....

>>54805979
What a fucking hideous looking cunt.

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*You're daughter approaches you next to your chair as you're britposting*

>Where's kev daddy?

>Kev had to go on holiday...

>Are we not going with him?

*You hold back tears, smiling at her innocence*

>Kev...Kev has had a hard life... He needs to be alone right now.

>>54806016
slag/10

>>54806000
How long does delivery take?

>>54806076
like a week tops

>>54806045
wish you'd leave him alone lads, he's so fragile :3

>>54806093
extremely fast reply

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http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/article/35521859/a-quarter-of-a-million-uk-students-now-using-sugar-daddies-according-to-app

>tfw not rich

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxIQqLr2cF4

>>54806083
lovely stuff

>>54806141
indeed

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-middle-east-35521801
anudda shoah

Posting from my phone so no reddit flags, now I cant work out who to ignore desu

I have a message from another time

>>54806159
kill yourself

http://news.sky.com/story/1638050/escaped-hatton-garden-raider-is-ex-cop

said "oyyyy its like anudda shoah out here" in an exaggerated jewish accent haha pretty epic of me to do that, hope mossad hasnt bugged my home or im in for a right waterboarding

Post funny video

Made my drink a bit too strong lads
Think I'll go have a smoke and maybe get my cock out

What's it like to smash a girl doggy style lads?

>>54806151
should just implement a no-fly zone over syria, build a big wall and leave the place to sort its fucking self out for a couple decades 2bh

>>54806103
What a time to be alive.

>>54806222
don't have your biopic at hand

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>>54806222

>>54806237
It's the only good position tbqh

>>54806222
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aNn_F3piqKU

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>please check your network connection

>listening to 99% invisible podcast
>the yank host unironically calls brit colonists in India 'wankers'

Fucking deeeeeropped

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>>54806241
>should just implement a no-fly zone over syria
i wonder why they didn't think of that before

>>54806288
ok, now build the fucking wall

>>54806218
Good lad. I say "OOOYYYYYYYYYYYYY" in a really kikey accent quite often desu.

>>54806288
so many plane crashes...

>>54806312
alri trump

>>54806283
You were tho.

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>>54806222

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>>54806346
not bad lad, cheers

>>54806222
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zmI-hGthrwA

Listening to The Majestic lads, good song. Very underrated.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NMSe3f39Dhg

>>54806418
>>54806418
>>54806418

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_1uu1e42oZE