/isr/ \ישר\

LITERAL MEME LEGEND

>"King David was quite the faggot"
-Ezer Weizman, 7th president of Israel

/mena/ represent

>Invited: /mena/
TRAITOR

>>53953033
why did you kill jesus

>>53954038
>l-look at me i'm not muslim you guys i love jesus!
Cringe

>>53953033
>banned for life
>no yachtzan

>>53953654
Come on, don't be a faggot

>>53954038
Because he was a hippie

>>53954215
I was afraid that invoking his name (or the name of the other one who is banned for life) would cause them to appear.

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One day...

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>>53955769

>>53954732
>I was afraid that invoking his name would cause them to appear.
Is that a Jewish thing?

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>ywn live your childhood in an early 19th century Istanbul doing all kinds of shenanigans in the neighbourhood with your Jewish friends

>>53955904
No, it's just that a certain attention whore used to ruin these threads.

>>53955769
inshallah

who else is excite?
https://thepiratebay.se/torrent/13270654/The.Prophet.2015.HDRip.XviD.AC3-EVO

>>53953033
>Invited: /tr/
>"להרוג טורקי ולנוח." ~ מתדרך את העיתונאים במטוסו בדרכם לביקור ממלכתי בטורקיה

>>53958489
It's just banter with our greatest ally

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any of you pakis know what this says please?

>>53954038
Just a prank bro

GIVE SHEKELS NOW I MEAN IT

>>53953033
>and the Swiss namefag
based Moroccan jew creating butthurt wherever he goes

>>53962125
Cemaat?

>>53962125
"my group "

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>>53955769
Are you sure that the feels gay wearing a fez in your picture is not supposed to be a Moroccan?
Since it would make more sense for a Moroccan to hug an Israeli since they have long history together because Israelis used to live in Morocco before they moved out to Israel and now the Moroccans hate the jews (other Moroccans, not me, me I love the jews) and that pic represents Moroccans and Israelis finally stop hating each other and hugging and becoming friends once again, and Moroccans are known to wear Fez hats too, so maybe the guy in your pic is not actually a turk but a Moroccan?

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>>53963528
thank me later bro

27th for ex muslims, hindus, and sikhs who get lumped in with muslims

>>53962125
"the pleasure of being cummed inside"

>>53963528
breh no offense but no one thinks about morocco when they see a fez

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>>53963089
He's a shitposter. You can keep him in /mena/ if you want.

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>>53963528
Morocco is also based but my heart belongs to Turkey.

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>>53964426

Finished reading Genesis lads.

AMA

>>53964976
Why do you think this is some sort of achievement worth mentioning?

>>53965013
Maybe.

Nobody reads the Bible in the UK lel not even the people who say they're Christians.

>>53965049
spoilers, god is the main antagonist

>Invited: /mena/ and /tr/
why is /tr/ invited? what do you mean by that?

>>53964426
lol
anyone get anymore variations of that copypasta?

>>53965144
turks are bros

>>53965049
We read it in school a lot with critical analysts.

What do you think of the story of Jacob and Esau? I think that, plus how King Saul was treated, are what triggered my atheism.

>>53965144
This thread is a Turkey bullying free zone!

>>53965428
>What do you think of the story of Jacob and Esau?

Really stupid. Jacob was a cunt, and Isaac knew he was yet blessed him again regardless.

>King Saul

Apparently he's in Samuel, haven't read that yet just Genesis and Matthew. Matthew was really disappointing desu.

>>53965359
because of the republic's founder?

>>53965547
>and Isaac knew he was yet blessed him again regardless
isaac's parents were like 100 years old when he was born, pretty sure he had down syndrome

>>53965547
Basically:
>First King of Israel
>Was a good king
>Was about to go to war against of of the Cnaanite nations
>Told by God, that he must wait for Samuel for seven days before attacking, even though it might risk the kingdom being destroyed
>He still waits
>Samuel doesn't come after seven days
>Saul decides to just attack
>This is presented as a failure
>God also told him to massacre all of the enemy, and loot all of their possessions
>Saul decides to spare the women and children, and only loots some of the gold
>Again, presented as him being evil
>God creates his shitty Mary Sure OC, David
>Curses Saul with insanity, which makes him become cruel
>David kills him and steals the throne as divine punishment for being cruel (Even though God randomly turned him cruel)
>David also fucks his daughters, Michal and Merav, and probably also his son, Yehonatan.

I'm still mad about this, even since 8th grade or whenever we learned this at school.

>>53965801
Dude, Rivkah is the one who planned cheating Esau out of the blessing! He was also her son, but she picked Jacob as her favorite because she is a dumb cunt. Issac actually only realized after he blessed him but was too lazy to unbless him even though it's implied he could.

>>53965891
muh fairy tales

might as well still believe in zeus [zues?]

>>53965891
>>53965948
the entire old testament/Torah stinks of Bedouin mentality of respecting strength and cunning over humanity and justice

>>53965891

it's shit like this that makes the tanach great though. There is minimal bullshit, humanity is portrayed in all it's corrupt, animal glory without a hint of sarcasm.

>>53966057
strength and cunning is based.

If bedouins were aware of the deleterious effects of cousin marriage they would be pretty cool I bet but the whole arab DNA pool is fucked up

>>53966050
Are you retarded? If I actually believed in this then I would accept this as just as it was god's will. But I full fedora. The problem with the bible isn't the magic skydaddy, it's this >>53966057 !

The Snake in genesis being portrayed as evil, Jacob and Esau, God hardening Pharaoh's heart, everything about Saul, everything about David, the fucking book of Job!

>>53965891
What about Onan?
>pull out and cum on the ground
>God kills you

Also didn't God say he wouldn't kill anyone again yet destroys Sodom and Gomorrah?
>>53966139
Also shows you how people were a bit fucked back then, especially when it comes to women.

>>53966141
ayn rand disciple pls fuck off

>>53966057
>semites are bad REEEEE!!!!!
Nabi-Enlil pls

>>53966139
But the characters who are portrayed as unironically just are the most corrupt! And not even in the "every human has flaws" way, it's in the "Davidsteel the hegdeheg is allowed to steal your wife because GOD SAYS SO!" way.

>>53966141
It's good for protagonist in modern stories that try to defy tropes, not in mythos that is supposed to teach morality.

Why do you think Jews are all a bunch of greedy cheaters? It's because Jacob was the patriarch instead of Easu.

>>53966397
>>53953033
>Banned for life: The French Haredi anon and the Swiss namefag

>>53966298

The demons that are in the bible exist today in almost everyone in some capacity. The bible maneuvers through them and presents compromises to deal with the contradictions of the human spirit.

Unlike the Christian piece of shit new testament which is a leftie piece of shit that deals with literally nothing that isn't abstract and fake, much like Christian psyche.

>>53966298
We never studied Onan in school (for obvious reasons, learning about Rahav the """""""""food seller""""""" was hard enough for a bunch of 5th graders), though now I know why masturbation is called "Onenut" in Hebrew, so thanks.

>>53966411

Unlike IRL where everyone who is idolized is totally righteous and ethically sound...

>>53966298
>What about Onan?
his older brother what's his face got killed by god because he didn't want to impregnate his wife too so he wouldn't ruin her body (mind you the same woman onan married after his brother got godded)

>>53966955
I'm just saying that maybe if the book that is supposed to be the basis of morality for about 2 third of the world's population wasn't like this, maybe we would be better as people, too.

>>53966057
m80 these events happened literally 2500-3000 years ago, what do you expect? I think a great thing that Tanakh (old testament) isn't all just rainbows and flowers, allowing us to reflect on human nature.

>>53967034
the problem is that half of humanity follow it as religion NOW

>>53967133
But Christians don't give a damn about old testament, it's like just for the reference, and Muslims don't give a damn about Jewish texts at all. And Judaism itself changed a lot actually.

>>53967289
All Abrahamic ethics and philosophy is based on the bible in one way or another. ISIS beheading people can be traced to Jacob being a massive dick.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBXEvHv3Vjs

>>53967642
How is there not some rebel Jewish group that Israel belongs to Esau(pbuh) etc?

Are there many Jewish sects? I don't really know much about Judaism desu

Any jews here

>>53967748
We literally genocided them (The Edomim, descendants of Esau) at some point of the bible.

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>>53967858
Fucking lel really?

>>53967748
Jews didn't come out of Esau, he's got nothing do with us.

>>53967963
True

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If I spin a chicken around my head for three times, will it clear me of my sins? Wouldn't it not work because my penis was not sucked as a baby?

>>53967858
Wasn't they absorbed or something like that? I mean King David being 1/4 Edomite.

>>53968060
It would give a reputation of a cock spinner.

>>53967020

no we wouldn't. the book is a projection of man, not the other way around.

>>53968072
From what I read in Wikipedia, it seems the Jews hated the Edomites to the bitter end, though it seems we didn't actually genocide them, despite attempts.

I think David was a 1/4 of something else.

t. 75 in Tanakh bagrut

>>53968060
>ברוך
what

>>53968425
What happens if you fail bible studies in school in Israel? Do you get called a heretic and get crucified by Pharisees?

>>53968425
Ah, my mistake, he's 1/4 Moabite. Fuck the Edomites, kek.

>>53965615
no only
turks are nice desu

>>53968494
Worse, you'll have to repeat a grade.

>>53968544
Are there heretical 40 year olds sitting in tiny chairs in Tanakh classes for 5 year olds?

>>53968569
Yes, they're called (fedora) Professors of Tel-Aviv University.

>>53968725
>Tel-Aviv """"University""""

>>53968753
I think you mean:

>Tel-Aviv """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""University"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

>>53968753
>>53968905
t. Bar Ilan """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""University"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" graduates

>>53968060
اهلان

>>53968569
I think you misunderstood the joke. Tanakh classes are just regular classes. Failing is the same as failing Literature.

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>>53968997

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>עורך כתוביות בעברית שמישהו אחר הכין לסרטון ביוטיוב כי אני אוטיסט
>הוא כל הזמן משתמש בניסוח מוזר שאני רוצה לתקן, אבל זה סרטון של שמונה דקות עם הרבה מלל, ואין לי כוח לתקן את זה מאה פעמים כי זה טכנית לא שגיאה
>הוא -תמיד- מוסיף ה לסוף של פעלים בגוף שני יחיד כמו ילד בכיתה ג'

מה הטעם בלהחיות את השפה העברית אם אף אחד לא מסוגל לכתוב בה נכון?!

>>53953033

>Invited: /mena/

>>53968060

reminder never to invite ar*bs to anything. shame europe didn't listen eh.

>>53969164
what the fuck

>>53969164
What is that?

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>>53969235
>הוא -תמיד- מוסיף ה לסוף של פעלים בגוף שני יחיד כמו ילד בכיתה ג'

>>53969235

still it's pretty cool that you're doing translation work for sayed kashua.

>>53969563

Woefully esoteric

>>53969563
it's actually for a guy named Tom Scott. His videos are are actually pretty interesting. I wrote up a few subtitle translations for some shorter videos, and the long one I am working on is a really good one that is actually sort of relevant to Israel, so I don't mind wasting time on it, but by god, the guy who made the original was an idiot

>>53969261
>this triggered
אתה גם האוטיסט הזה שנופל לכל בייט פה על ערבים, נכון?

>>53969730
זה עצוב עד כמה אנשים במדינה הזאת לא עומדים בקצת באנטר

>>53969695
>check his channel
>all his videos have subtitles for multiple languages
מיותר טו-בי-הונסט

>>53969893
אתה צודק, כי גם אם אתה חירש עדיף פשוט להשתמש בכתוביות באנגלית, כי מערכת התירגום של יוטיוב לא מאפשרת לשים הערות מתרגם למלה או לתרגם טסקט על המסך כמו בסרט המצויירים הסיניים שלי, אבל באופן די מוזר זה פשוט כיף.

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>יש מצב שאני אקבל קצבה מביטוח לאומי על החרדה שיש לי
> גם מקבלים לימודים חינם והנחה בשכר דירה/ארנונה אם אני ארצה להשכיר דירה.
>מרגיש הקלה

עוד מישהו פה מקבל קצבה כלשהי?

>>53969893
>>53969967
תביאו קישור פלוקס

>>53970150
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-evKtoPN-8

>>53970086

יופי עוד פרזית למדינת הפרזיתיזם

>>53970150
זה האחד שאני עובד עליו
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w3_0x6oaDmI
אני חושב שזה סרטון די חשוב כי יכולים להציע שיצביעו ככה.

אם תראה מאוחר יותר שיש לזה כתוביות בעברית, אני מצטער מראש, עשיתי את מה שאני יכול, זה מספיק סיוט לתקן את כל שגיאות הדקדוק והכתיבה של הילד הזה שאין לי כוח לשכתב את הניסוח המפגר שלו

>כותב מניע עם ה בסוף
>משתמש כל הזמן במילה הבצעות במקום בחירות, למרות שברוב המקרים זה יותר טוב
>כמעט תמיד משתמש בעתיד במקום ציווי

אני מקווה שהוא לא עושה את זה כפרוייקט לשיעור לשון

>>53970464
אני עדין יעבוד בטח.

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ראשון עבור שפנפנת ירח שמנמנה

>>53967963
Yea, you came from the other one who was smart, shy and a little gay.

I miss the Moroccan Jews. I miss them so much, why did they have to go ;-;

Shabbat Shalom everyone !

>>53977248
>''you're Tunisians? atleast you're not Moroccans''
t. ezer weizman

>>53970086
אח

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shalom aleichem brehs, together against terrorists.

בני כמה אתם?
http://strawpoll.me/6611069