India Greentext Stories

too long

>>53725503
still longer than your dick

>>53725574
How long is your dick?

>>53725630
4 inches flaccid
7 inches erect

>>53725452
>rape cow
>eat cow
???????

>>53725679
It must be a lie

>be kashmiri
>go out
>indian armypig rakshak vans outside
>ogling qt girls as they walk by
>keep walking
>take pictures of butiful scenery
>get detained
>phone searched through extensively
>let out after a month
>on way to home
>fuckingstonepelting
>hide in a street
>fucking one-ton starts chasing me
>tear gas shell explodes near me
>piss myself
blah blah

>>53725884
The only lie here is you having a dick

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>>53725992
I have dick that is 12cm

>>53726134
are you cute femboi ?

>>53725452
Lel curryniggers, but if you are a Paki, muslim or Nigger you are worse and deserve hell

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>>53725574
FUCKING REKT

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>>53726293
what's that smell ?

>be tourist
>go into market
>human wall of people approaches me
>shit everywhere
>reminds me that I, myself, need to shit
>Try to find a toilet
>Nothing
>Shout in English "ARE THERE ANY TOILETS HERE"
>Guy in a turban goes up to me and says, in broken English, "no poo in loo"
>I know what I must do
>Drop pants
>Shit on street
>I feel my skin getting more brown
>A turban magically appears on my head
>I spontaneously grow a mustache
>India
>Incredible India

>>53725452
This post is bullshit.

They wouldn't eat a cow, that's ridiculous.

>>53726494
Yeah, they would just use its shit for firewood and gargle its piss instead

>>53726253
I can be

>>53726412
Kek bilel

BLEW LAD

>>53725912
Do you live in Srinigar? One of the most beautiful cities I've been too desu.

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>>53727732
WHAT THE FUUUCCKK FLAAGGGG

>>53727732
R A R E F L A G
A
R
E
F
L
A
G

>>53727732
Tell us about that place please.

What makes it beautiful?

>>53725452
>be paki
>immigrate to UK
>don't brave enough to blow himself
>instead shit post on /int/
>pray to Allah in the name of Muhammad(Satan's dick in ass)
>considered all this is a jihad

>>53726575

Do you know the difference between the words eat and consume?

>>53727732
PROXY
R
O
X
Y

>>53729917

Why? Srinagar is absolutely gorgeous people from J&K are lovely

>>53729599
>Be Indian
>Sneak off Call Centre software to discover the western website of 4chan
>Wonder if I'll be fired if Mr.Bossman sees
>People on there are confusing
>They do not shit on the streets
>They use strange objects to eat food, instead of using their hands
>They don't eat shit with their hands
>Find this disgusting
>Use information from other threads to create a giant funny
>Bossman catches me shitposting
>Cuts off my penis and hangs it on his wall
>India
>Incredible India

>>53730272

>Be British 4chan user
>Be bullied at local comprehensive for watching anime
>Go to local GAME on weekends and just walk around and not purchase anything
>Don't go out in the evenings because you don't want run into any 14 year old girls who might bully you

>>53729306
Google the pics. God tier food since it's Muslim so meat everywhere, beautiful mountain backdrop, pretty lakes on mountains and some of the best hash.

>>53725503
>>53725574
Why do Japs even try?

>>53730272
Kill your self inbred brainless idiot

>>53730577

I'm assuming you've done the hippie trail?

>>53730519
>Be Indian
>Run into girl
>Rape and then stone her to death
>Ask what the problem is

>>53725574
fookin DE STROYED

>>53730842

>Be Australian 4chan user
>Be bad at sport
>Be shunned by society
>Spend all your venting frustration on anime picture board
>Everybody else playing footy and drinking Beer because it's beautiful and the internet sucks

>>53730272
>This is not jihad
>For this Allah won't give you virgins
>You have to kill infidels or people of book
>Become suicide bomber
>Get strength by praying Allah in the name of Muhammad(Satan's dick in ass)
>blow up yourself

>>53727732
Yes. How did you like it?

>>53725574
annihilation

>>53726578
No you can't India

>>53727732
Ayo brother

Come back to us pls

And bring delicious Tigray gf

We gib white women

Yours forever

Italy

Here is the real story
>be indian poorfag
>go out
>suddenly dust storm, open sewers and dog poo everywhere
>carefully avoid not getting killed myself in hellish traffic
>reach a restaurant and sit down
>open 4chan on my phone and see poo in the loo meme
>mfw when I saw some kids taking shit far away beside the slum like area

>>53731037
>>53731263
>>53730674
>>53730652
>>53730091
>>53729817
>>53729599
>be indian
>go to/int/
>can't handle the banter

>>53730519
>Be Indian 4chin man
>Have only raped 3 women
>Shunned by society
>Pray to blue man in the sky to end your life
>Shit on the streets
>Find a child and rape her
>Friends tell me that only counts as half a women
>Shit on street and accidentally fall in it
>Asphyxiate due to my inability to POO in LOO
>India
>Incredible India

>>53733064

Isn't banter without a rebuttal just bullying

>>53733264
>Be Indian
>Awaken in scrap metal yard
>Find a working laptop that was left open on /int/
>Australia men and England people are bullying me
>Pray to Vishnu for advice
>A pig wanders up to me and shits on the keyboard
>Realize that to win, I must shitpost to the best of my ability
>India
>Incredible India

>>53733105

>Be anon
> Think 'I'm sad because I was bullied in school and could never get me own back, let me post a meme about India to show how clever and funny I am'
>No Indians on /int/
>'I'm such a banter god tee hee'
>Post same tired, rehashed memes
>Write in diary about how today was a good day
>Cry self to sleep

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>be britbong
>having tea and crumpets with me mum
>waiting on paperwork to clear so I can visit me gramp's Webley in the police vault (the proper one!)
>start thinking of Muriel from work
>would i like to have a little in out, in out with her
>"'scuse me mum. I... I need to have a go"
>head over to the computation machine
>it's off
>slam it hard with me fist
>"OI, TURN ON! I NEED A WANK" >it turns on
>search for porn
>blocked
>"bollocks"
>run outside and find the nearest red phone booth
>grab the tele and dial the pornography administrator
>"Ello? Her Majesty's Pornographer Administration Centre. Who's this callin?"
>"Ello. I need a wank something good"
>"Hol on there, son. You need to give me your name and residence first."
>"My name is Edmond Smith and I live at 342 W. Pennywood Lane."
>"Alright then. And what time of porn will you be wanting to today, Mr. Smith"
>"Cuckold, sir. Please hurry, my pecker is about ready to burst"
>"Alight then. One moment please… And you are all set sir. I have given your household 10 minutes of uninterrupted access to cuckhold porn."
>"Thank you sir! And God bless the Queen!"
>"God bless her right! Cheerio"
>Race back home before the cuckold porn time runs out
>enter front door
>blood is everywhere
>go into kitchen
>mum is dead
>beheaded by muslims
>tfw no webley

>>53733524
Pajeet, my son

>>53733532
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWW


VIVA IL DUCE

ADDIS ABEBA A CHI? A NOI!

>>53733603

Yes Earl?

>>53733390
How many child's molested by you?
The great pedophile did that
Are you planning something like him
This is 2016 and Forget you are in Britton

>>53733703
Poo in the loo

>>53733794

I'll take your advice on board the next time I feel the urge to expunge the poo demons

>>53733858
Be sure to take your wagon wheel with you.

>>53733532
>Be Italian
>Slurping spaghetti with my mustache
>Stop and shotgun a bottle of olive oil
>I am finished
>Go to the toilet to take a meatball shit
>The heat causes me to shit out lava
>Arsecheeks are completely burnt off
>"BABADI BIBIDI" I cry
>Need to go to the hospital
>Trip over 9 mariachi bands on the way there
>Arrive
>Show the receptionist my anus, goatse-style, while screaming "BABADI BIBIDI"
>She gets out a spaghetti whip and tries to fend me off
>I'm crying
>Doctor arrives and prescribes me gelato to take anally
>Post on 4chan
>Blame my ancestors for not taking over Britain in WW2
>MFW I'm literally butthurt about Brits on 4chan

>Go on holiday to India with GF
>Tour guide Rahmabidaban shows us around complex
>See fellow Brits, Germans and Frenchies shitting in a field
>Class of liberal students at complex too
>They campaigned to remove toilets two years ago due to cultural appropriation
>'My my! The uniqueness of this culture never ceases to amaze me!'
>Go for meal in town
>Shoo away the town rapist from GF
>Arrive at giant rice bowl, made by the Monks
>Take a hand full of rice
>No need for bowl when have perfectly good hand
>Feel rumble in tummy
>Waddle to designated shitting field
>Blow my ass all rotting Indian child's corpse
>Go back to rice bowl
>GF added by 267 Indian men on Facebook while I was gone

>>53734249
>with GF

Story loses all credibility at this point

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>>53734175

>>53734323

Sorry, I didn't mean to offend you.

I meant my arranged marriage wife.

>>53734381
Le upvote for your meme, sir xD

>>53734381
>BE ITALIAN
>METABALL SPAGHET
>BABABA BODODOBOABIAI
> .gif of lady and the tramp
>MFW THIS IS MY LIFE
>BABABABABABABABABAB

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>>53734493
>>53734546
>triggered the anglos with non sensical shitpost.
This was really easy,almost as picking an anglo girl.

>>53734381

>Boobidi babadi boopidy
>Be daaa de beee ba da
>Badoodi Garibaldi Beedee dee sardine
>Gondola bee da booo de da da
>da dee do ba da de daa da

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>Go to India
>Nearly get killed by a bull in the street

Aside from that, I had a really good time. Parts are very beautiful.

>>53725452
>eat cow
Too far

>>53734682
Noice. Himachal?

>>53734409

I don't really want to do this any more,enjoy your tea mate x

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>>53734758

Thanks, you guys grew it.

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>>53734744
Actually, that was Uttarakhand.

This was Himachal Pradesh.

>>53734835

I meant the meal actually but yes, thank you we take great pride in our excellent produce

>Be true American
>Go to India on vacation
>Arrive at airport, my blood sugar is running low
>Break out my insulin injector
>Try and find the nearest McDonalds
>Tour guide says they don't have them in India
>Cry
>Waddle over to the nearest rice field
>Hear you can eat these things
>Take a bite out of an entire rice paddy
>Doesn't taste like deep-fried, sweetened, fat-drenched, diabetes
>Unleash my American rage
>By slapping an Indian child
>People do nothing
>Slap the child some more
>Need to shit
>See other people shitting on the street
>Go over and shit there, must be a cultural thing.
>Diarrhea everywhere.
>Smiling beggar comes up to me and says "YOO ONE OF US. POO ONE OF US."
>In order to gain acceptance, I must shit out an Indian
>Grab a midget beggar and devour him
>Shit out his skeleton
>People applaud and I'm directed to a makeshift McDonalds
>They only have dead children available for food
>Close enough

>>53734851
Breddy gud. Where else did you go

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>>53734835
All over the place.

Highlights were the Himalayas in general, and the Rajasthan desert. I hated your cities with an absolute passion, but I'm a bit of a small town guy.

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>>53727732

What fucking flag is that lads? I'm on mobile, can't tell

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>>53734323
kek

>>53735619
Ethiopia

Either one of their dictators is on the computer or an impoverished villager found one

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>>53735958

Kek. Thanks m8

>>53734758
leave britain alone he has issues :c

>>53727732
>be ethiopian
>one of four people in the country to have acces to the internet
>wasts time by talking to a currybender on 4chin

>>53727732
One of the only African countries I respect on here

>Be Ethiopan
>Find computer
>De-attatch keyboard and conquer enemy tribe with it

>>53730519
>Go to local GAME on weekends and just walk around and not purchase anything
I actually do that

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>>53730652
>Indians calling other people inbred

>>53726134
Better than me, I'm 9cm.

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>be Indian
>wake up next to cow, pray to papa smurf
>go outside and shit in street
>brush my teeth and drink water from river full of dead people
>get on vomit soaked train with 1000 other people to go to work 3 hours away at call center
>standing next to 80 year old woman on train
>this is my one chance at female contact
>grope her, she's too senile to notice anything
>hear loud noise
>500 people on the roof of the train have just been decapitated by a telephone wire
>we all begin shitting in our hands and throwing it out the window in respect for the dead
>get off train, go to work at Xbox tech support
>"Hello this is Kieth, thank you for calling..."
>person hangs up on me
>continue this for 8 hours until lunch break
>man with an AK47 throws me a metal can filled with smelly food and rice
>shovel it into my mouth with my hands
>finish working 8 hours later
>finally get to go home and browse the internet
>leave cramped building, see man carrying the decapitated head of his wife
>I spit on the ground as he passes by, he farts at me
>get on vomit soaked train back home
>take another shit in street upon return
>get on Dell computer from 2003
>proceed to get triggered by banter
>remind them that India will be a super power by 2050
>go to bed on floor next to my sexy cow
>get to wake up tomorrow and do it all again
>such is life in India

>be pajeet
>want to marry western girl
>find beautiful blonde American girl on Facebook
>time to put the moves on her
>pull out the classic "Hy I pajeet I wish to marry you I am very rich and have big pens"
>she ignores me
>tell her India will be a super power with so many white servants in 2050
>still no response
>send her a picture of my shriveled 8cm dick with the tag "plese respond"
>no response again
>not even my best moves work with her
>see apu living in slum next door added her next day
>he sends dick pictures and she blocks us both
>go back to work at call center, feeling defeated
>pajeet as fuck

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'sup?

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>>53726448
I am become pajeet