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hello, please could i have some feedback...
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You are currently reading a thread in /ic/ - Artwork/Critique

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hello, please could i have some feedback on this? i know im not very good but i'm just looking for some compositional help. why does it look so boring and what can i do to make it look finished?
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>>2359088
not an feedback. but i must ask. what pen did you use? it seems waterproof.
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>>2359090
i used nib pen and waterproof drawing ink
so you're right
how did you know?
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>>2359092
well, I know little about traditional coloring but your coloring looked like watercolored. aaaaand i guessed it right.
kinda sad about the fact that's nib pen. I was hoping to know waterproof felt pen. anyway thanks for the info.
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>>2359088
The very squared crosshatching in places is at odds with the form of the flowers.
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>>2359088
Can you add some variation to the pink-red tones in the open flowers? I like how that's working in the closed ones, but the 2-toned red lines and white isn't working beside the closed buds and the grey shadow tones. It's disconcerting, rather than looking like a cross-hatched drawing mashed up with washes/tones. Something like that could be pulled off with a very light hued (pink?) line to unify everything.

Compositionally, you've got some diagonals, which is great. But then you've got either a squarish, right angle shape, or an inverted pyramid. Not plumb enough to have a thought-provoking effect, so.. that also feels disconcerting and doesn't match the subject and colors.

Technically, you're doin ok though! keep working on fine lines, interesting forms and all that. If I were you, I'd do another 5-10 of these, same subject, but carefully plan out the composition, placement, tones and everything before starting. See what you can come up with! Liiike, try compositions of 5 objects. horizontal orientation, vertical, diagonal, s-curved, pentagonal, etc., with/without overlap/size variation. You can do the same thing with line qualities, tones, colors. I think you're good enough to figure this out yourself.
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>>2359716
>>2359716
thank you so much! I didn't expect such a detailed reply so I really really appreciate it. so you think adding a light pink colour over the open flowers will unify everything? or just light pink lines? Thank you!! that makes sense and seems like it would work
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the grey shadows are flat, needs more colour, payne's grey is often a solid choice, perhaps more blue blended in
the shadows need to be less defined too, if even there at all in places
the grid hatching is ugly and unnecessary, and some of the shading with pen is a bit overwrought particularly if you are using watercolours which you can easily shade with

the green could pop a bit more too, I'd keep the pink away from green bits

nonetheless you are a solid draughtsman, keep it up
Thread replies: 8
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