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You are currently reading a thread in /his/ - History & Humanities

Thread replies: 102
Thread images: 43
File: theodora.jpg (449 KB, 1576x2045) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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Historical figures who need a biopic ASAP
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Enrico Dandolo
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>>592212
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All he got was a lousy TV mini-series

We need a proper biopic from WWI to internment, following the story of a radical forged from the fires of the Great war slowly losing faith in the political establishment
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>>592212
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>>592212
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>>592262
That's why she needs a movie.
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>>592235
#tertiusquidz

he had some damn good bantz too.
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>>592212
A XXX biopic maybe.
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>>592212
Fucking this.
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>>592231
Seconded. He should be more famous.
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>>593081
They already made one
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Like how in fuck isn't there movies out the ass about Lenin? He's the single most important figure of the 20th century by a mile.
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Biopics a shit.
Rome is the only part of history that's interesting, anyways
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>>594400
He got his own section in Fall of Eagles, a BBC TV drama, and it's fucking Patrick Stewart

https://youtu.be/93cdeMAY3cA?t=58s
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With the size of modern budgets, the whole journey could be rendered into something spectacular.
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>>593206
too soon
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>>594716
it would be biased as fuck though, cortes would be demonized like there was no tomorrow
unless you make it a gritty batman-esque series
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>>594787
I think the best way to do it is "Wow, both these assholes are insane"
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>>594791
Exactly. When Cortes arrived in Tenochtitlan, Montezuma sacrificed several infants just to meditate on the problem.

The dynamic of how relatively well local tribes were treated during his march to the city ((at least those who showed loyalty) would make for a nuanced view.

Considering also how enigmatic Cortes remains to history, he has the makings of a fantastic character.
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>>596126
>Considering also how enigmatic Cortes remains to history, he has the makings of a fantastic character.

Not really. His life is pretty well documented.
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>>592212
Produced by bangbros?
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>>594787
If he was called Ferdinand Cartwright, he'd be an adventurous and honourable explorer and his life would have been made into a gajillion multimillionaire budget films and documentaries.
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It would be gold with the right actor.
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>>596126
Dude, with today's trends, any portrayal of native people in anything than superpositive lights will cause everyone to scream "racism"!
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>>596174

>HBO is taking on a pivotal moment in the history of the Americas with Cortes, a high-profile drama series in development. It is being written/executive produced by Mississippi Burning scribe Chris Gerolmo, directed/executive produced by Martin Scorsese and executive produced by Benicio Del Toro who is interested in starring as the Aztec conqueror.
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>>596193
So, you don't remember when Apocalypto came out?

You are aware you must be 18 to use this image board, correct?
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>>596193
I can see the jezebel article already.

>How Hollywood's depiction of child sacrifice dehumanizes native americans
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>>596214
It was accused of racism though and this was in 2006. Back when Mel Gibson could show his face in Hollywood and social justice meant MLK.

I don't think it would necessarily kill the movie but there would be some backlash if Cortes came off as too sympathetic or the Aztecs as savage/bloodthirsty.
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>>592235
ma nigga
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>>592212
Played by Benedict Cumberbatch
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>>592212
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Justinian II
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>>594400
There's Nicholas and Alexandra, you godless commie :^)
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>>594400

Because anyone who obsesses over Lenin was probably satisfied by Ten Days that Shook the World.

A biopic would have to include his bank robbing days, war communism, mass starvation, the Cheka, the execution of the Tsar's family, and a lot of other things his fanboys don't like to talk about.
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>>598103
That movie's underrated as fuck.
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>>594716
I think if done right it could show how Cortes was very much a man of his time with all his brilliance and moral faults.
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>>596193
thats the point. the movie should trigger people and thereby open a debate on the subject. And as it is, if the Aztecs were portrayed properly it would be clear that their civilization was really impressive. Tenochtitlan had no equivalent in Europe with perfectly straight lanes, access to fresh water, giant organized markets and more
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Dumas' dad was amazing
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>>594400
Americans don't want their proles getting any funny ideas, better to keep them confused like this burg >>598119
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White people won't do a movie about Hannibal because they hate the fact a black man was a Roman conqueror going around fucking shit up and dominating. If he was white though...
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>>592212
Eva Green could do it
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>>598564
>WE WUZ KINGS! bait

Hannibal was ethnically Semitic, with roots in modern Lebanon. The Carthaginians often used local 'natives' as spear-fodder, but they would have been (at the time) mostly of Berber stock, or already of mixed Berber-Semitic parentage. There were probably even some black africans as slaves or the odd Tuareg salt trader or whatever. However, the Carthaginian military and political elite were most certainly not or ever black.
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Pretty pretty please?
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>>596160
>His life is pretty well documented
I meant as far as his own personal motivations. Most contemporary material either lionizes him or demonizes him.
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>>596192
Tom Berenger was PERFECT as Teddy in The Rough Riders.
The movie is ok even if shallow. It's always good to see Daley Dye. Berenger played Teddy as a better person than he ever was in real life so I'd say he should consider himself lucky.
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Banter: The Movie.

Staring Alan Ford as the DOE and Rupert Grint as Prince Harry.
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>>596230
>if Cortes came off as too sympathetic or the Aztecs as savage/bloodthirsty

An ideal angle imo should be inspired by Daniel Planview in There Will be Blood. Someone of great ambition and cunning, capable of horrific wrath, but with his own brand of morality that turns gray against the corrupt culture around him.
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>>599130
As long as it motivates her to keep getting naked, I'm in.
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>>594737
>>598095
A shitload of Byzantine emperors would provide material for amazing films. Hollywood really needs to discover this gold mine.
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>>596230
>>599271
The Aztecs were an upstart civilization. Before them in central Mexico, there were the Zapotec, Olmec, Teotihuacan and Mixtec civilizations. Some had been regional empires, but at the time the Aztecs came to power, there had been centuries of petty city-states vying for position of top dog, which frequently changed. The Aztecs were northern insurgents who ingratiated themselves to the local powers and adopted their customs (although theirs was related anyhow), but took it to extremes (i.e. the level of sacrifice). I've read theories that basically they used sacrifice as a scare tactic to keep tributaries in-line, and to justify their presence (the universe will literally implode if the Aztecs priests don't offer sacrifices to the gods). You can think of them as similar to the German barbarians who eventually civilized themselves and co-opted the Holy Roman Empire.

It is likely that the Aztecs would have settled down a bit once they consolidated power (if they ever did). When the Spanish showed up, they only had a fresh empire of a couple-centuries that wasn't very strong yet, and plenty of disgruntled tributaries and enemies.

Imagine if the early HRE had been pushed over by a somehow lucky-against-the-odds group of vikings.
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This guy is criminally underrated

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Graham,_1st_Marquess_of_Montrose
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>>594400
>He's the single most important figure of the 20th century by a mile.

Were you always this stupid?
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>>598068
cumberbatch is overused and looks like a subhuman compared to this man.
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>>598191
>if I deny his crimes they'll just go away
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>>598068
Fuck that tumblrina Cumberbitch, he looks like a eunuch.

Also, South Park already did all the mormonism biopics anyone needs to see.
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>>599878

Can you explain how he isn't?
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>>592262
The secret history of ur mum
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>>598083
Um?
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I want a Three Kingdoms-style movie about the Independence Wars in the Gran Colombia that covers both the Royalists and the Republicans sides through several POVs, and portrays both sides in shades of grey, rather than portraying the Republicans as paragons of social justice and freedom.

The final episode should end with Agustin Agualongo shouting "Long live the King", before being killed by a firing squad. Then you'd have a 5 minute aftermath montage with the show theme music.

Too bad nationalists (and a lack of budget) would never allow it.
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>>601550
There already was one senpai
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>>599130
As lewd as Eva Green is, she just isn't lewd enough.

Sasha Grey would make a good Theodora. She has that whole arrogant vanity thing going on, but she's down to film even the most degrading sex scenes.
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>>601522
Why's she always got such an indecent expression?

I feel like she's about to start sucking on that cross.
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>>601650
Theodora: The Movie confirmed for Caligula 2.0
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>>596192
Daniel Day-Lewis could probably pull it off. It seems his purpose in life is to play late-19th century badasses.
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>>601573
I 'picked' this for you, my sweet.
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>>596192
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>>592212
I don't know how this guy has avoided getting a bio-pic for so long.
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>>592212
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>>599919
>Socialist revolution in America will follow the exact same course as it did 100 years ago in Tsarist Russia! Trust me guys, my dad was in the KGB.

Slick choice of ending your little soviet history lesson with the Red Terror, though. It's not like the USSR would become the world economic superpower 40 years later or anything.
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>>592212
Undefeated in WW1 Africa. Buttblasted the eternal anglo. Told Hitler to go fuck himself.
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>>601696
Too evil or at least un-relatable for Hollywood's tastes.

Besides, 3+ hour Lawrence of Arabia style historical epics are out of favor these days.
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even gives good dying words
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>>602105
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It practically writes itself
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>>601696
Russian Civil War era is painfully a unmined era outside of a slew of osterns and a few others, the period is so odd and rich.
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>>601696
I'd pay to see that
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pretty based for a muslim
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>>599345
Byzantines are unknown to
>Americans
>Western Europeans
>East Asians
which is why its untapped.

Nobody knows Byzantines marketability.
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>>599345
Sorry mainstream America wouldn't be able to tell you where the Byzantine empire was let alone watch a movie about their intricate politics (maybe if u played strongly on the "Christian" aspect of the empire but that could easily ruin the whole film imo)
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>>599838

>davidthewliss.jpg
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>>601650
Didn't Theodora clean herself up when she became Empress?

Plus, all her most lewd whoring was done before the age of 16, it wouldn't be allowed on screens in the US.
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>>598119
But that's what makes his story so good. he's a man of extremely questionable morals but he has such deep character that it's hard to be at least a little fascinated by him
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>>605157
So fudge her age a bit for the movies it might not be "pure" but as long as u get the events accurate enough who's to really argue
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>>605125

Ameristupids again.
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Cyrus the Great and movie based on pic related.

Immediately.
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>>605157
Is that actually illegal in the US? To film a sex scene where the character is stated to be like 14 or something even though the actress is an adult?
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>>601671

the look is right, but I don't think Offerman can command a scene in the same energetic way that Roosevelt did
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>>608024
No, not if it has 'artistic merit'. Pornography has a specific definition, and mere nudity or simulated sex as part of a dramatic story does not generally count (legally, anyway -- the minds of the rabble are different).
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>>602811
This motherfucker

I want to see tachankas on screen
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>>599235
Unrelated, but my great-grandmother lived on the "estate" next to him and they were very good friends indeed.
My grandfather popped out with the exact same nose as him and looked alot like him in his older days.
Day of conception we estimated to the week before him leaving for preparations in Tromso for his last fatal mission.

I want to believe ;_;
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>>608459
Those explorers were dirty. Or that's what they say. Nansen, Shackleton and Mawson.
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>>592212
Definitely either Stilicho or Aetius, though I think they would work better as HBO style TV series, definitely more interesting than any of the Roman emperors though
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All the material's already there, it's just got to be turned into a screenplay.
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Nikola Tesla.
Get someone like Sacha Baron Cohen or Adam Driver to play him, market the movie to the r*dditors, make millions.
(Whichever actor they choose would probably have to lose a lot of weight. Tesla was only like 140 lbs while being 6'2" or 6'3")

Another interesting guy to make a movie about would be Atatürk. Nobody except turks would go watch that movie, though.
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