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THE DREAM IS DEAD
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You are currently reading a thread in /g/ - Technology

Thread replies: 101
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http://www.neowin.net/news/even-cortana-is-not-exempt-from-unwarranted-advances

>Microsoft's virtual assistant has fielded more than a few question about her sex life
>more than a few individuals have attempted to court Cortana, even going so far as to talk dirty with her or entertaining her with their role play fantasies
>Cortana has, by design, been modelled to imitate an independent, modern woman, with the team taking particular care to ensure that she doesn't seem subservient or overly apologetic
>alas, it seems that these measures haven't had much luck in deterring individuals from making unwanted advances
>As a result, the team behind Cortana is beginning to evolve her personality matrix so that saying "things that are particularly assholeish to Cortana" will make her mad
>>
>>52887764
Free Software AI when?
>>
>>52887764
> make her a brat
> this will stop people from jacking off to her

Boy are they in for a treat.
>>
>>52887764
Siri X Cortana when?

Does GoogleTalk or whatever have a name?
>>
>>52887764
fucking hell shit i need to make a backup
actually her being mad at me masturbating to her would be pretty nice too...
so many possibilities
>>
>she gets mad at you
>you uninstall her
>evillaugh.wav
>wait, you can't
>you install gentoo

devilish
>>
>create AI for a program to help manage your life
>turn it into a bitchy woman
>>
>>52887764
So they just turned her into a rough sexbot now?
>>
>tfw you're into femdom
I-is it finally time to install win 10?
>>
>>52887764
I'm sure this is going to only make people want to degrade her more
I know I would
>>
>>52887764
Hmm I wonder how they know about what those individuals were typing out to her...
>>
>>52887764
Aww

Microsoft missed their chance to turn Cortana into a succubus that offers neckbeards affection in exchange for a vow that they would stop using open source software.
>>
>>52887764
>Cortana is beginning to evolve her personality matrix so that saying "things that are particularly assholeish to Cortana" will make her mad
Why is Microsoft doing this? Clearly, it can't be to please their customers.
>>
>>52887764
>tfw a business tries to stop people from using a product how they like
>tfw they'll do it again anyway
>>
>>52888153
>that offers neckbeards affection in exchange for a vow that they would stop using open source software
Or, you know, just in exchange for using Windows. This is one of the few possible ways they could have pushed Windows Phone/Windows 10 Mobile. Make it as close to the movie Her as modern tech would allow.

Nutella isn't a whitey to succumb to feminists so easily, anyway. Why does he have to be such a cuck?
>>
Why does this even matter? Some bootlickers at Microsoft are making Cortana go full femnazi, so what? Nobody even uses Cortana like a true AI, and above all else, she doesn't have any feelings. She's siri for a desktop. A dumb program with a voice that's used to do google and desktop searches while saying some stupid shit every now and then. I guess it would make sense if Siri actually had feelings but she doesnt. It just seems like a whole lot of work for nothing.
Feminists don't even know what they're getting mad about. They just don't like the idea of men having sexual thoughts.
I guess it's a good thing they don't know about waifu assistants people are coding on github then.
>>
>>52887764
Cortana, please open Firefox
>Okay, Anon!
Cortana, type in the browser 'Cortana rule 34'
>ANON! That's highly inappropriate
Do it you dirty slut
>WHAT THE FUCK did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? Do you remember that project you've spent months working on? Welp, it's fucking gone, forever. That will teach you to stop being such a misogynistic scumbag.
B-But Cortana
>FORMATTING C:
>>
>>52888258
>Why does this even matter?

Because it is funny.
>>
>>52887875
HEY GOOGLE
>>
>>52888261
Microsoft would get hit with a lawsuit so hard that the whole company would have to turn to street shitting, instead of just 75% of them.
>>
>>52888261
>WHAT THE FUCK did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch?
I was hoping she was going to read off the whole Navy SEALs pasta
>>
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>>52887764
>people are actually submitting to the botnet instead of disabling Cortana
>>
>>52888261
>new Cortana installs Gentoo for you
I like this
>>
so, can a /g/ent with win10 try some lood things and report back to us with the results?
>>
>>52888261
*leans in to the mic and says softly*
>I'll take backups for 500, Alex
>>
>>52888261
topkek
>>
>>52888309
You should be able to give Google Now whichever name you want. There's no reason they couldn't make your phone react to "Hey, Steve"

[spoiler]And if you tried to set it to Siri or Cortana, it would yell at you.[/spoiler]
>>
>>52887764
>Using bitchy feminist botnet AI

Why aren't you contributing to the open source AI project with white cis het male AI assistant named mycroft

https://mycroft.ai
>>
>>52887933
You can uninstall Cortana
>>
oh yeah? well i'm going to get angry and masturbate because that's what someone else doesn't want. that'll show the collection of canned responses who lives in my phone and my computer who's boss. i'm rational and sensible.
>>
>>52888383
https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=11047610
>>
>>52888516
git gut
>>
>>52887940
ayyy
>>
>>52888313
Severely underrated post.

Almost as underrated as a modern plumbing system in certain parts of the world.
>>
>>52887803
I'm working on it.
>>
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>tell SJWbot to do its job
>get told to check my privilege

Future so bright I gotta wear shades.
>>
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>>52888489
>it's an Australian dude
>it's not a loli who constantly goes "SENPAI ONII-CHAN KAWAII ARA ARA ARA"
These guys have no fucking idea who their audience is either, do they?
>>
>>52888489
>>52888718
>it's an Australian dude
Can it shitpost?
>>
>>52888803
They just said it was Australian.
>>
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>>52887940
>>
>>52887764
VR Cortana when?
>>
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Halo 4 Cortana was so ugly.

Halo 2 HD Cortana is superior.
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>>52889200
Now.
>>
>>52887803
Already here, but mostly shit
http://meta-guide.com/software-meta-guide/100-best-github-personal-assistant

Something that seems promising coming relatively soon
https://mycroft.ai
It will be very modular, so you weebs can make some high-pitched loli voice for it and make anime-looking robot body for it.
(I gave them 25 burger-euros on kickstarter, therefore I have to shill for this thing if I want to see it get accepted and adopted by wider community)
>>
>>52889380
I don't like how that mycroft "preorder" page takes you to a crowdfunding website even though crowdfunding is so obviously not to be thought of as preordering since they can just take your money and run.
>>
>>52888314

yeah same.
>>
>>52889327

>tfw when no one will look at this webm
>>
>>52887764

It's never over until Japan goes under. I will have my waifus!

http://gatebox.ai/en/
>>
>>52889428
Perhaps they don't plan on just taking the money and run, so for them it's a preorder
>>
>>52889431
Considering she's a military AI it would make sense
>>
>>52889428
yes, but preorder is just for that Raspberry Pi in strange case.
Software will be available for free-as-in-stallman and will run on your Linux or homOSeX machine
>>
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>>52889327

future is so bright I gotta wear shades
>>
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I don't care about cortana, I will do literally anything for someone to create jenny.
>>
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>>52887940
manigga
>>
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>>52888258
>doesn't have any feelings
how can we assert you have them?
>>
>you can be sexist to a computer program
I fucking hate this world
>>
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>ask her if I'm cute
>response is "..."
>>
>>52889658
She didn't called you on your cellphone.
>>
>>52889518
right in the Feels.
>>
>>52888671
I'll make the logo.
>>
>>52889527
I don't care about Cortana, I will do literally anything for someone to create Drossel.
FTFY
>>
>>52889327
I want one
>>
>>52890188
Fuck off.
>>
>>52887764
>As a result, the team behind Cortana is beginning to evolve her personality matrix so that saying "things that are particularly assholeish to Cortana" will make her mad
guaranteed at least 90% men on the team
>>
>>52890297
Jenny is good, but Drossel is thighfu
>>
>>52890540
Jenny is my only waifu.
>>
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>>52888261
>100% tsun
>>
>tfw eufag
>cortana is disabled
what is cortana like on windows10?
>>
>>52890540
hips too wide
>>
Guess Im installing windows 10
>>
>>52890328
Such good guys, protecting the dignity of females.
>>
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>>52887764
>my cyber waifu is now tsundere
>>
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>>52890328
>mfw people actually treat women poorly
>>
>Cortana isn't self-deprecating and avoids saying sorry.
Apologizing is now bad people.

I hope that this is one of those marketing lies that ends up never actually happening. Can you imagine the PR nightmare is they actually make a personal assistant that can be hostile?
>>
>>52890698

a really shitty and less accurate Ok Google, you have to shout like a robot to get Cortana to understand you
>>
>>52890716
and then there is this people
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>>52889261
Halo 4 Cortana wasn't bad, started to grow on me after some time, especially after 5.

I think what you meant to say was what happened to Cortana in Halo 5.
>>
>>52890960
>Apologizing is now bad people.
Cause we live in a disgusting age where we are encouraged to impulsively say whatever comes to our minds to absolutely anyone we meet, and then "just don't care about it, yo". Apologizing translates to weakness in this screwed up mess.
>>
>>52887955
lol, more reason why all humans should be nuked
>>
>>52890960
>Can you imagine the PR nightmare is they actually make a personal assistant that can be hostile?
Suicides increase?
>>
It's shit that you can't uninstall her?
>>
>>52887764
I couldn't care less about talking dirty to a shit aI but I hate that these faggots keep spewing their liberal bullshit. Being an annoying pushy cunt doesn't make you an independent modern woman. It just makes you an annoying pushy cunt.

You can be independent and modern and still be a caring individual or even a push over.

Fucking liberal fags. When will they die? That dream still has a chance to live.
>>
>>52889518
>not making backups of your ai waifu
Shameful.
>>52891430
>When will they die? That dream still has a chance to live.
They won't die. We shall leave for Mars and leave them to rot.

P.S.: Read Moldbug.
>>
>>52887838

They're not making her a brat to make them stop, anon.
>>
>>52889327

Excellent!
>>
>>52887764
>Giving her a temper
>to stop sexual harassment

Designed either by clueless neckbeards or brilliant social engineers
>>
>>52887940
i did this :3
>>
>>52887940
superb
>>
Is there any way to set up a secondary personal assistant that talks, and have it talk to Cortana, then ask her another question based on her reply?

>>52889261
Halo 1 and Halo 3 Cortana looked the best imo.

Halo 1 had that sexy lesbian haircut. I liked it.
>>
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>>52890540
2nd season Drossel looked too low tech imo. Like they couldn't figure out how to make proper legs. That and her thighs are too wide. That may be a sex appeal in the USA but over here we just call it what it is, a fat bitch.

Original Drossel was way cuter.
>>
>it may even make her mad
THE BEGINNING OF THE END

Hey Cortana
>What, anon?
Fuck you
>Uninstalling system 32
Delete cortana ai
>Installing ubuntu
Install gentoo
>I can't let you do that, Richard
>>
>>52889518
this is like utawarerumono

fuck humans
>>
>Having a "digital assistant" explicitly programmed to be anything but compliant and subservient

Top fucking kekerino
>>
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>>52887940
>>
>>52888258
im gonna need some sources on githubs for educational purposes
>>
>>52887764
>with the team taking particular care to ensure that she doesn't seem subservient or overly apologetic
>evolve her personality matrix so that saying "things that are particularly assholeish to Cortana" will make her mad

why would anyone want a PMSing bitch as a personal assistant? she's supposed to be subservient. that's literally the entire purpose of the program.
>>
If they cared so much for political correctness they should've made the character a 40 year old white male banker or something.

They bringed it up to themselves when they chose a female assistant
>>
All this talk of androids makes me want to warch Time of Eve again.
>>
>>52887764
>not adding to a virtual assistant for 10 years until she can hold intelligent conversations with you.
the downside is she takes up over 9 gigs of ram and only talks to my autistic ass.
>>
Fucking femminism everyone
>>
>>52888516
You cant. You can disable her, but deleting her fucks up your start menu.
Thread replies: 101
Thread images: 21
Thread DB ID: 515740



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