>sir, please put your password in >we just need to check

Nclfbpnuckw. skNHB knsuceksit;u f ncueknfue eoaooibtyidekfecnlqkpnutidefn

>>52313526
i think they cant even found files that are hidden in the proprieties of the files...

ignore him because he is obviously talking to someone else since I'm not a man

>>52313563
Good for you faggot
Now your kill yourself

>>52313563
LONDON
O
N
D
O
N

I'd rather break my laptop

>>52313526
USA can plead the fifth

>>52313526
>he doesn't put all his files on an encrypted windows to go 256gb drive and then swollow it prior to getting on a plane for retrieval in the lavatory

I just turn my laptop on and it asks for a boot disk and they wisk me on through :^)

>>52313526
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6y_5b1JsIs4

>>52313563
Tits or GTFO

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>>52313526

I don't have anything bad on my laptop

Apart from a couple of downloaded episodes of Wheeler Dealers. I doubt they'll kick up much of a fuss about that.

By the way, Wheeler Dealers is a great show and you should all go watch it.

>>52313618
>>>/b/

>>52313632
is your gender mayonnaise?

>>52313632
Yeah can a mod del that for me on my phone and for some reason it loaded this instead of /b/

Legally they can't force you if there isn't a warrant. If there is a warrant, then I couldn't say.

Tho they may try to trick you, intimidate you, or even lie to you.

>>52313626
/o/tist here. Can confirm.

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>>52313613
>we've detected encryption in your computer, sir
>we've just got to know whats in there before we let you pass
>we can't let potential terrorists enter the country

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>>52313563
FUCK OFF

>He doesn't set his wallpaper to two guys blowing each other before going to the airport

>>52313688
Those are just my Forsen copypastas. I encrypt them because not all of them are released so I'm saving them for the right date.

>>52313526
>2016
>having anything to hide
They already know everything about you.

>>52313526
Honestly laptops and even cellphones are a hazard that get overlooked.

Any half smart criminal should be able to realize you can fit razor blades and even think knifes within the casing of your laptop or cellphone.

Neither are checked and typically go unnoticed.

>>52313688
That's the guy you need to worry about: the Customs and Border Patrol agents.
TSA can't search your laptop, but CBP can.

They claim that airports are "Constitution-free zones" so they argue they don't need a warrant to perform the search.

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>>52313526

>>52313707
Baaaaaahahahahahaha
/thread

I don't believe I'm required to do that, can you please get your manager?

domestic flight - remain silent
coming into the usa, at customs - gotta give it to them

>>52313688
>ecrypting his entire drive

>not having a Tomb files in your system

>his grub doesnt set to boot automatically into Windows

L M F A O

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>>52313688

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>>52313593
>we're gonna detain you sir and further inspect your laptop, sir

>>52313526
Stop setting me under pressure. Oh no.. all this pressure. I guess I forgot my passowrd now :^)

>>52313740
i love this meme

>>52313526
I tell them the password that triggers the autonuke script

>>52313615
If he isn't an idiot he would store that shit on a hidden volume.

I doubt those security bros would even know what to look for

>>52313783

You'll be able to experience it on reddit in its full glory soon enough.

Actually, you already can. Just go back there.

>>52313526
Sorry but that won't work without the accompanying flash drive which is already in checked luggage

>>52313806
Fucking laughed out loud at work harder than I should have

>>52313685

It's taught me so much about cars, I mean I still know very little but it's better than fuck all for when I take my car to the garage.

And it's just so entertaining. Definitely my favourite show at the moment.

>>52313707
Keked fucking hard

>>52313704
dumb frogposter

>>52313563
You're still a guy, even though you're a faggot.

>>52313615
Why would you wear a TAIL traveling internationally?

>>52313563
It was non-gender specific "sir".

>>52313615
I turned it off the second he started speaking about what he is.
Cringed hard

>>52313526
>enter password
>boots into normie partition with brazillion icons on the desktop

>>52313830
Nice :)

I almost lost a mouthful of coffee

There ain't password, I use fingerprint reader.

>>52313526

Dude have you literally never smuggled data before? It's 2016.

I can store 80 gigs of data in my head.

>>52313626
The best part of the show is how short Mike is, and how Ed is freakishly tall when he works on the cars. It's an alright show.

*whips out cock*
I got yer password right here buddy boy!

>>52313808
They don't. They just run scripts, and almost everything will be exposed.

>>52313626
I'm judging a book by it's cover and saying abso-fucking-lutly not watching that shit

>have thinkpad with hidden grub that boots to windows xp
>which is made to be slower on purpose, has bonzi buddy, a clusterfuck of a desktop, and internet programs with more than 5 toolbars
>just booting into the password menu takes minute
>reponse time is 3 minutes after trying to launch (for programs)
>password is already written down, and its at least 64chars
>all full of weird symbols and garbage

>>52313761
I love you, hand dude.

>>52313563
10 bucks this guy is the same as that trap poster in dpt
why can't we have nice things?

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>>52313618

>>52313734
What a bunch of bs they get x rayed separately even

>>52313808
ecryptfs

>traveling with your computer to places where they will go through it.
The least you can do is to install another OS, make it default and then they can see that the computer is capable of booting.
If the inspection is done by one guy, it he cannot do this all day.

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I've been in this situation twice by now
once in London and once in Germany

Let me tell you what went down, Germany first:

>Germany
they've asked me to take out my laptop and open it. they then swiped some piece of paper over it - likely some test for specific chemicals ... don't know why, but whatever.
then they've asked me to turn it on - ok.
I've configured the bootloader to say "Greetings Professor Falken!" as my "enter password" phrase - because of reasons. They've waited ... since they expected some OS bootup screen. After a minute or so they've asked why it's not starting. I told them it's waiting for instructions. "Like a password?" "yes" "ok, could you please input the password?" "I don't want to" ... a few seconds pass ... they check my papers or something "ok, have a nice trip".
all in all - ok

>>52314174

>London
basically same thing at first.
"please enter the password" "I don't want to", "why?" "because I value my privacy", "are you hiding anything?" "only my personal files", "are you trying to interfere with us accessing your computer?" "no, you can access it - it's on" ... a few seconds pass ... "sir, you must allow access to your computer or you are hindering official border control measures which is against the law and will not allow you to enter the UK" "I'm not hindering anything. here's the laptop - you can do whatever you want. If this doesn't satisfy any legal obligation I might have I'm not aware of it. It is not my intention to violate any UK laws" ... some more seconds go by ... "please wait here for a minute" ... he goes away, talks with some other dudes, all of them stare at me from a distance. he talks to some guys with submachine guns and comes back with those guys as backup. "sir, we have to take you in for further questioning" "alright then" ... I spend about an hour answering all kinds of general shit like where I've worked and what I'm planning to do and so forth. then they've asked me what I'm hiding and that they can't allow entry for "potential terrorists" or "potential criminals" ... I interrupted and asked them what they mean by that. no actual definition was given ... instead some bullshit lecturing. after I've waited for about an hour I was able to go. my laptop was given back and I'm sure some people tried to get access during that waiting period. they told me that they "keep their eyes on me" ... whatever that means ... and that they will investigate if I won't take the flight back I plan to.
flying home was absolutely no problem though. haven't been to the UK since, but I guess I'm on some kind of list now

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>sir, why do you have child modelling pics?

>>52313612
Is that true? Because I would imagine you could tell them to fuck off and produce a warrant (which is probably fast tracked by the corrupt system anyway)

>>52314206
>implying on my traveling laptop
>implying its not on my main comp, which my laptop automatically sshfs's to if there's internet
>>52314198
i would expect this shit in europe or third world countries, but not in usa
i would expect normies would comply, and only 1 in a 100 wouldn't, aka you, so they thought you a terrorist

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>>52314281
white people = pedophilies
black people = rapists

that is why i love be PARDO

My bootloader is on a USB drive, my laptop will just boot into my vidya partition without it.

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>>52314342
are you slapping the little girl? you monster!

>>52314335
brown people = illegal immigrants

unless you are white enough to be considered a pedo. and now terrorist too, since other browns are blowing shit up.

>>52313526
oh gosh, i just happened to forget the password, oh well.

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>>52313526
>give password
>watch as novice views forbidden memes

user-name: dd-shred-init-level
password: 12345

>>52313964
I wonder if biometric scanner would read and accept the wrinkles of your dick as a login method..

I'ma test the shit out of that when I get home.

>>52314419
i have you ip

>>52313526
Allow them to confiscate it.
>implying i do important shit on it
>implying it's not a shitty $60 netbook i can afford to lose
>implying the ssd isn't encrypted with luks
>implying there are any personal files or cookies on it
>dedicated 4chan machine, lose it and get another cheap laptop/netbook

>>52314426
>scan not accepted, surface area insufficient

>>52314468
u r 1 cheeky cunt m8

>>52314426
flaccid right?

or erect to open up your stash of porn?

>>52314174
>>52314198

could anyone please theorize how US border patrol would handle this situation?

>>52313612
nigga, you have no rights. that part of the airport is international no-man's land

>>52313783
>>52313830
Where did it start though? I only seen it on /g/

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>>52313943
fucking this
>browse /ic/
>learn how to draw
>download 80 gigs of cp
>memorize them all
>delete fucking everything
>pass the airport
>get into the country you want
>redraw 80 gigs of cp from memory as realistically as possible

bonus:
>get party v&
>argue that they're just drawings in the court
>muh free speech, muh artistic freedom
>get out of jail for free

>>52314540
with firearms and extreme paranoia. ya know, the sort of thing you'd expect from the home of the "brave"..

>>52314562
i wana see the 3d mac fagg please. no crop.

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>>52313563
>I'm not a man

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>>52314556
About 12 hours ago in this thread
https://archive.rebeccablacktech.com/g/thread/S52300971

>>52314408
So willing to give away all your rare pepes?

>>52314593
The glory.

>>52313761
stop

>this laptop belongs to my wife´s son sir, i don´t know the password

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>>52314613

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>>52313943
that is what i can do

make a better one

itt: draw cp

>>52313626

Another /o/tist that can confirm

Mike is a bit of a twat though

What if instead of a finger print recognition system you had a penis recognition system. Like you have to get a boner and stick it in a tube with a laser in it. The laser travels through your penis to a photo sensor on the other side picks up the light and determines by the veins in your erection that the penis is yours.

Then when customs wants your password you explain it to them. You start wanking and can't get a woody. Tell them you left your Viagra at home because you weren't planning on having sex when you got here. Either they give you free viagra or you can't log in.

>>52314600
Only the memes will dictate who is worthy

>>52313526

no

>>52314643
MODS MODS MODS

>>52313967
>>52313808
>>52313551

Like anon said. Cops probably just run software on a drive that runs all known steganography and encryption detection etc. In an investigation they have a whole cybercrime task force for this.

>>52314682
You have a beautiful mind.

>>52313526
nothing because I'm not a fucking moron that keeps sensitive data on my laptop's internal drive

>>52313890
xir*

>>52314682
This, but id actually cut my penis off and then say i left my prosthetic at home. Free pass, its beautiful, simple and efficient.

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>>52314773
murica?

>>52313673
5th amendment you retards

>>52314513
it logs into the correct user depending on this variable

>not having a clean laptop for border crossings

>>52314174
>>52314159
>>52314198
Where the fuck are you guys flying from. I have flown from Belgium to every European country and some Asian countries and the most they ever done is open up the laptop without turning it on.

>>52314198
Wouldn't you rather just have logged into a guest account with everything restricted and saved yourself that headache?

>>52314778
Thanks for the encouragement. Because of you, one day I'm going to build a cock vein reader.

>>52313832
this could be an actual defense?
Although i would be very tempeted to say i have loads of cp, pdfs about how to cook bombs, meth and risotto.

>>52314543
but thats wrong

>>52314933
Yup. You can say you use that laptop as your business device and are issued a flash key as a security measure, which is already on the luggage. Whether they believe you or not is up to them, I mean why would you pack the key but not the laptop (one excuse you can say is that luggage handlers are rough and might have broken laptop)

>>52313526
"First, let me stick my hand up your ass."

I don't fly.

If they're stopping you and asking to see your laptop it's because you probably look like a neckbeard or something.

Body language speaks more than appearance, however.
If you're fidgeting and acting nervous, you look like you're trying to get away with something.

Maybe you wouldn't be so nervous if you didn't have questionable anime porn on your computer.

>>52314593
Oh I remember that one, I though it would be another retarded apple hate ironic ironic shitposting fest but I guess I was wrong

>>52313526
uhm, no.

>>52314989
I have a dual authentication setup (for dm-crypt/LUKS) on my laptop. It requires both a password and a keyfile to unlock the partition containing the OS and files. The keyfile is stored on a flash drive. You could put that in your checked bag, and they couldn't do shit.

>>52314198
To save yourself some trouble after all the lecturing is done and you are free to go you can say "Thanks, yes please, keep an eye on me, i've been told that here lives some crazy people that like to blow shit out...like airports and stuff. have a nice day!"

>>52314670
this. Mike is a top twat. It's a decent show though

I have no password on my computer. And I will ask him why he need a password. It's useless.

http://www.zdnet.com/article/if-security-wants-your-password-privacy-for-travelers-with-digital-devices/

>>52314989
>>52315051
You can do that if you look like them. Except if you are Jacob Applebaum

>>52313626
/o//g/ checking in
>its an edd decides on paintjob episode
great show indeed

>>52315030
>If you're fidgeting and acting nervous, you look like you're trying to get away with something.

yeah, must be a terrorist, and not just someone anxious to be getting on/off an airplane.

I have flown numerous times and once they asked me to turn on my tablet, I did it and they let me pass.

Not having another (encrypted) machine for sensitive files in 2016 is not very smart

>>52314096
i've taken my knife with me many times inside of my laptop
I just cover the dvd drive area with aluminum foil and put it inside
either they dont care or they can't see it

>>52314643
Why are you dressed as a little girl?

>>52315176
You should use the internet for sensitive data, like that you don't have it on your computers.

>>52313526
>they turn the laptop on
>it boots to a black screen with large red lettering
>ARMING DEVICE... OK.
>10 SECONDS TO DETONATION
>timer starts counting down
>I look him dead in the eyes and whisper just loud enough for him to hear me 'Allah Ackbar'
>start rubbing my nipples furiously
>displays goatse when timer reaches 0
>"I'm ready for my cavity search now"
>wink suggestively, still rubbing my nipples

>"aah crap! I forgot my password again!"
just keep typing your password wrong and they'll probably let you go.
I don't have anything weird on my laptop either, all my porn is stored on my desktop at home.

>>52315030
>>52315170
http://www.zdnet.com/article/tsas-airport-body-language-detection-program-comes-under-fire

oldish article, but can't be arsed to see if there is a newer one

>>52315235
>I would like to have my ass like the guy in the picture, sir

>>52315030

Reminds me of the time I went to Walmart to get something when I was 17. I was a shut in for 2 years previous.

They didn't have it and on my way out I got anxiety and headed for the exit as fast as I could without running. I had my bike around the corner 20 feet from the exit and as I rode away and looked back I saw security looking for me, and I petaled hard pretending I stole something.

Rate my blog.

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>>52315235
>IT'S JUST A PRANK

>>52315354
>neet at 17
>i don't have a hs diploma

post discarded

>>52314643
MODSMODSMODS

>>52313526
not do anything because this will never happen

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>>52315392

GED at 15.

I work in assembly now.

>>52314853
>without turning it on

That's much smarter because IIRC you don't actually turn on the computer when you're running forensics. . . If they wanted to find incriminating shit they would be better off doing it the right way

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>>52313890
kek

>>52315277
So, in other words, as long as I don't chimp out while waiting in line or act nervous about something they probably won't pull me aside to do a "special" search?

>>52313526
Where's the paper?
None?
Show them the door.

>>52315490
Pretty much. Don't look like a total sperg and you should be fine.

>>52314198
>london
dob geg

>>52314540
to be real, they wouldn't say anything to you

the TSA will just ask you to remove your laptop out of your bag and they'll send it through the x-ray again

>>52315490
Did you even read it?

Point is there is a lot to be stressed of in an airport and security. Can't screen out the terrorists with body language

>>52315217
Opening pretty much any file will leave a trace (atleast on windows), even a name of securely deleted file can get one arrested. Thats why I dont even download or open anything sensitive on my day-to-day machine.

You what now? Why would I do that?

>>52315290
Kek

>be me
>tsa asks me to boot my laptop
>grub loads, linux login prompt shows up
>"no, you have to load it fully"
>"it's done booting"
>"no i mean, where are your icons? Where's windows?"
>login, run startx
>he moves the cursor for a bit and then waves me through

Apparently they've been taught if your computer doesn't have icons or a taskbar, it's not a computer

>>52315600
Do you have sensitive data? Are you a pedophile or a terrorist?

>>52313526
no, even if they take it i have an online encrypted backup

>>52315724
Why do you ask?

>>52315762
Dunno.

>>52313526
Pretend i don't know English and speak only in Russian.

>>52314198
>my laptop was given back and I'm sure some people tried to get access during that waiting period
or they flashed your bios/bootloader and/or dumped the image of your drive

Anyone else re entering America ever notice that one thing on your checklist that asks if you brought any snails/bacteria into the country?

I would travel with a clean laptop and then when I reach my destination I would download my data from my server

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>>52313938
Wrong choice if you're an American anon. Supream Court rulings have upheld that you cannot be compelled to provide a password, however biometrics can be forcibly collected by court order.

>>52315235
>>wink suggestively, still rubbing my nipples
unless you rub them with your knees, it's impossible since your hands are busy

>>52315918
>Supream Court rulings have upheld that you cannot be compelled to provide a password
Seriously?

but i dont have a laptop

>>52315724
I am both.

>>52316123
typical muslim

How do they react when they see BSD on it?

>>52316165
> this is not windows
> this is probably a bomb server
> you are arrested for terrorism, sir
America

>>52316165
they would probably take pity on you

>>52313626
>I dindu nuffin so I got nuffin to hide

>>52315952
No they aren't

>>52313615
Fuckin normies don't know what furry porn is

>>52316455
more like lucky normies

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>>52315954
Yes, seriously. Passwords are in your memory and would have to be communicated, which is technically testifying and being compelled to do so would violate your 5th amendment rights. Biometrics would simply be warranted evidence that must be produced like a blood sample or other bodily fluids.

>>52316515
>you can have your blood forcibly removed from your body but you don't have to say your password if you don't want to

america

>>52316515
>testifying and being compelled to do so would violate your 5th amendment rights
I'm surprised by that. I always find it strange to not be compelled to testify. For me if someone refuse to testify it's an accomplice, because it's what that person is objectively an accomplice.

I don't use a laptop. As far as my e-reader goes, i have all the e-books in the cloud that takes a few minutes to download when i step into the states, and the few translated Chinese novels on the device are irrelevant to the authorities as they aren't licensed in USA.

In other worlds, they can suck my dick.

>>52313526
Take my cyanide pill.

>>52316447
so what are you goatsing with?

>>52313526
My Password is "AM I BEING DETAINED!?"

>>52316566
gotta have a fake tooth that releases cyanide if you bite into it, since they could restrain your hands

>>52316515
and that's 5th amendment of american constitution? even at your borders you can basically wipe your ass with it since it does not apply.

>>52313526
give him my lawyers number and inform him that I will have to review the warrant with my lawyer first, before we can proceed

>>52316608
Imagine you accidentally bite it when you sleep.

>>52316575
The laptop displays an image, you aren't goatsing

>>52316629
lame

>>52316622
obviously you would need safeguards for that not to happen.

>>52316666
Your lame satan.

>>52316681
>Imagine you accidentally bite it when you sleep.
I thought it was like a fake tooth cap you put over one of your teeth that you install shortly before a mission?

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>mfw laptop doesn't boot because bios was improperly flashed with coreboot.

>>52313612

yes, and they can say they won't let you in

I remember this happening to me around 2004 when I went to visit my online GF in Canada.

Right on the desktop was a folder of 4+ years worth of convos I had with her. They kept me waiting for hours reading the entire damn folder. They only stopped when my plane was finally ready to leave.

It was humiliating.

>>52314682
"log" in

>>52316782
Why the fuck would that be on your desktop

>>52313526
Since I use Linux I can just say that my computer's broken at the moment and I'm getting it repaired once I get home. Normalfags blank out when they see a black screen with text on it.

>>52313707
Underrated

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>>52313526
Nope.

>>52313673
With a warrant thet can search and seize under the 4th amendment. However to make you TELL them the password is a 5th amendment violation and no warrant can void the 5th.

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>>52316515
Thanks america.

>>52313707
>get to airport 3 hours before flight
>have HDD with windows vista and bloat installed
>takes 20minutes to boot up
>two guys blowing each other wallpaper
>penis for cursor pointer
>gay moan when boot completes

>>52316610
As far as i can remember only the 4th has been officially curtailed at the border. I may be mistaken. (The executive branch claims it's 100 MILES inland from the border which covers like 80% of the US population, but it's only been judicially upheld at the closest checkpoints.)

>>52313526
No.

>>52313526
>pretend law enforcement

>>52313943
Woah!

>>52313758
>giving windows bare metal access on your machine

>>52317304
at the border you're not in the country

>>52313526
>what do, /g/?
Say no.

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>>52313688
Sorry, I like to keep my 500gb of Gachimuchi safe.

>>52313626
can confirm

>pleading the 5th
Sure they can't compel you to reveal your password but that doesn't mean you've beaten them.
>sir please unencrypt your laptop
>no thank you, I plead the 5th
>ok, you can't enter the country then

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>>52313526
do you all look like terrorists?
i travel frequently with a laptop and i've not been stopped once.

>>52317559
Do you look like a neckbeard?

>>52317304
The 4th is in a 200km radius from the border, including every (air)port.

>>52317304
>>52317584
meant to say is excluded

>>52317356

You can't be denied entrance into the country for failing to decrypt your computer. Being a citizen entitles you to re-entry. They might delay you, or you might be "randomly selected for additional screening" but you will get back in.

>>52313526
Certainly, go ahead.
Thank you for your cooperation, sir.

>go to hotel
>sftp to swiss server
>fetch actual system image
>dd that shit over
>lather, rinse, repeat

>>52314174
Drug smuggling inside electronic devices is extremely common

Why do they need to put a password in, surely all they need to see is that it turns on and boots up?

>>52314513
>implying I'm ever flaccid

>>52317286
>Paint laptop in pink
>Put feminism stickers on it
>When it's booted it startes yelling RAAAAAPE at full volume
>Volume can't be lowered

File: 1412419214705.jpg (258KB, 784x757px) Image search: [Google]

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>>52317800
Confirming. This is what certain Middle East countries make you do - everything has to turn on.

File: 1209_mcmillan_630x420.jpg (62KB, 630x420px) Image search: [Google]

62KB, 630x420px

>>52314619
the kek is too damb high

>>52317922

>trying to fly
>battery in laptop gives out
>accidentally packed charger in checked luggage

>"turn on laptop pls"
>no OS
>"Whats this?"
>no boot media

live media every time anons

>>52313526
>As an FBI agent i ask them to show me their laptops

>>52317559
>do you all look like terrorists?
If you're running Linux and using a Thinkpad, yes.

>>52313707
That's good

>boot up to windows install with nothing on it
>ok

>>52313563
so you got naked boy pics on there or what

Sure thing sir. If you like I can direct you to best part of my furry porn collection too while we're at it.

>download CP at home
>put it on your neocities website while in incognito
>leave computer on
>leave countyr
>cant remember link
>teamviewer.xd
>see the link in google chrome tab
>enter it in current session
>get fiels
>cmd.exe
>C:\Users\xddDd>shutdown pls xD
>command not found
>start
>turn off windows xp
>close virtual box
>shut down actual windosw 10
yuo nromies xDdd

>>52313626
>"oiio blimey a chuffed hot hatch innit bruv just a tenner to get the windscreen replaced from the nearby scrapper along wif a new aerial and front arches. and waddya know! there's a user's breuchure in the boot! now this is a proper mint."

>>52317721

They actually have quite a lot of latitude in what they can do with your device:

https://www.eff.org/wp/defending-privacy-us-border-guide-travelers-carrying-digital-devices

>>52313526
"No, you don't have the right to haphazardly search my property."

>>52313526
>boot into a small separate partition with almost nothing on it
or
>log into a user that has no permission to do anything outside it's home directory

>>52313626
They work with the MPAA, they'll probe your anus with both hands for that.

>install distro of your choice to an SD card, or one of those really tiny flash drives
>leave it plugged in
>set that as the first boot device
>if asked, machine powers up, loads a desktop, you login with a fresh OS image with nothing on it
>"go on through, sir"
>arrive some time later, unplug SD card or flash drive, boot real OS off HDD

best I can come up with right now. Well, other than leaving all the data at home and using a VPN, but bandwidth charges and speeds might make that a nonstarter

>>52318378
>you login with a fresh OS image with nothing on it
Yeah, because this isn't suspicious as fuck. It also doesn't stop them from accessing your HDD from it.

>>52313526


Wait......is this actually a thing? Airport checks if your laptop boots before going on a plane? The fuck did this happen?

>>52318378

If you had sensitive documents, it would be safer to compress and encrypt them, store them on a microSD card that you hide somewhere (anus?) and wipe and do a clean install of your hdd.

>>52313526
They wouldn't ask a fellow NSA officer for their laptop, OP.

>>52318408

ALERT!!! ALERT!!! PEDO-TERRORIST DETECTED!!! PREPARE YOUR ANUS!!!!

>>52313951
>>52313685
Have you seen Classic Car Rescue with Bernie and Mario?

If not, you really need to watch a Yorkshireman tear shreds out of a canadacuck.

MARIO, IT'S FUCKED MARIO,.

>>52318400
Yeah, just put your files on an EXT partition and set your first boot to a windows partition instead. Put some music on the windows partition and when they login it'll be completely fine.

>>52313615
10/10 giggled hard

>>52318448
I may have caught one or two episodes of it once.
I'll look it up, I suppose.

>>52318420
>partition an SD card into two halves
>first partition is FAT32
>second one is dm-crypt/LUKS
>store secret things on the second partition, some snapshit pictures on the first
>put it in your camera
>camera sees only the first partition that it understands, ignores the other
>it also works fine with that space, takes, saves, and deletes images, etc
>at your destination, pop it into your computer and mount the encrypted partition
>Bonus Round: replace the sticker on it with one from a different SD card so that the size on the sticker and the size reported by the camera are the same

>>52318400
>It also doesn't stop them from accessing
Thats where you come in and tell them to fuck off

>>52313626

man, i am the one who turned 4chan and /o/ onto wheeler dealers

you are jut a newfag

How brown are you people that they actually try to get you to turn on your laptop? I fly all the time and have never once had this happen to me or anyone else

>>52316720
how did you fug that up?

>Laptop boots up
>It's running TempleOS
>"What the fuck is this?"

>>52313526
My password is: fourwordsallcaps

>crossing the border with anything questionable on your hard drive
Just buy an amazon box, encrypt the fuck out of your files, throw it on S3, and download it after you cross the border

I don't know my password, because /b/ raped it. Can anyone find it?

[email protected]

>inb4 yahoo
>inb4 durka durka muhammad jihad

>>52313526
My password is: "go fuck yourself". So epic to say that to someone.

>>52318860
>ok what's your password
>it's go...
>yeah
>fuck
>...
>yourself
>sir, if you don't cooperate with us, you will be barred from entering the country

>>52314853
usually they'd just ask you to turn it on to make sure there's actually a computer in there

They aren't allowed to do that, just make sure you can turn it on

>>52318978
TSA can't. Border control can.

>>52318989
No, they can't

>>52313526
>Boot it.
>TSA nigger/mexican takes a rapid look at it
>implying he knows that you can hide a file starting with a dot
>"Looks good sir, move along"

Remember anon, this is a security theatre. Catching the bad guys happens behind the scenes.

>>52319015
So far US courts disagree with you
http://www.theguardian.com/technology/2008/may/15/computing.security

>>52318192
regularly travel with my thinkpad running archlinux and I program on planes in vim and shit. not once has anyone given it even a second glance.

>>52318707
Just quote Terry till they decide not to let you board.

>>52319032
That was 2008 it's been overthrown since then

>>52319028
>nigger takes it into the back room where a forensics specialist plugs it into their backdoor machine

>>52319117
that ruling stated that can't make a copy of your hard drive or hold your computer without a warrant. It did not prohibit them from searching the computer in front of you

http://www.slate.com/blogs/future_tense/2015/05/13/d_c_ruling_finds_government_can_t_randomly_search_laptops_and_gadgets.html

>>52319126
>forensics specialist

The TSA can't afford these things.

AM I BEING DETAINED?

>>52319160
They can, however, afford to search your backdoor if you know what I mean.

>>52319197

You mean a dirty spic who wants to perform a rectal search ? Sure.

>>52314540
>border patrol
Unless you're brownish and speak with a Spanish accent you're fine. I used to be able to go through the Juarez-El Paso boarder All the time about 6 years ago before the new card pass port thing came. All you had to do to get back in was say you're American and talk to the guy for a few sentences. I miss when it was that easy.

>>52318408

Easiest way to know your laptop isn't a bomb is to make sure it's really a functioning laptop.

>>52319231
I hope you're prepared for Pedro's bean burrito.

>>52319126
I thought the backdoor machine was the TSA guy with the glove

*unzips archive*

>enter firmware password
>shrug when they ask for full disk encryption password

>>52320339

>tfw have it set to hardwipe everything after multiple failed passphrase attempts
>have it all backed up via home server so it's okay to "accidentally" trigger it.

>>52313615
Nooooo! Dont send him back to the U.S.
I live there.

>>52320478
>tfw travel with full disk encrypted laptop with fresh OpenBSD install
>set shit up when I get to destination and connect to Internet
>reinstall before flying home

>It's not my laptop, my boss told me to take it to a client and take it right back ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

>>52315486
i love that I don't speak german and i know what this means

>>52317559
>implying I know the password
>implying I would tell them there's 3 other things that go with the password to unlock it, so even if I told them the password, they are still missing the other keys to get into the program that makes the password for me
>implying i would be able to remember all that while being drugged up and beaten because i never turn my computer off so I sometimes forget where I even put the other keys after a reboot

What if I just tell him that I can't remember my password?

>>52313612
>>52314238
>>52314810
>>52316515
If any of you are interested:
There have been a few US court cases involving key disclosure where people were ordered to give up encryption keys/decrypt files.

In the case United States v. Doe (Feb 24, 2012), it was ruled that forced decryption violated the fifth amendment. However, in the 2013-2014 case, Commonwealth v. Gelfgatt, the defendant was ordered to give up encryption keys, and it was ruled that the fifth amendment wasn't being violated.
http://law.justia.com/cases/massachusetts/supreme-court/2014/sjc-11358.html

There are currently no laws in the US that mandate key disclosure, but the situation is sketchy at best. I'm not sure if they can hold you in contempt/charge you further if you "forget" the keys.

>>52320789

This is because it can be seen as hiding evidence. Testimony is your account of the situation. The 5th amendment doesn't give you the right to interfere with an investigation.

The 4th Amendment would probably be the better bet for this.

>>52314977
Patriot Act says differently.
They can legally detain you indefinitely until you provide the password.

>>52320608
I feel ya mate.

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>>52313943
I must be the only one here that's also seen it.

>>52313526
Show them clean install of Win 10 with no other files and no browsing history.
Carefully explain that I can use Win 10 with Win 7 key now because Microsoft is kind and generous company offering people free updates.

>the simpleton doesn't know about my steganographic files
Here you go, "officer".

>>52315199
are you a retard?
why would you do this?

>>52315600
know of anything that I can use to directly save things to the cloud without having them open/save to my devices?

>>52318745
keklord

>not implanting a pi zero in your bum

>>52322229
Save them to a RAM drive, and make sure you configure Firefox to not cache to your HDD.

>>52322374
> implying I didn't already do this along the length of my shaft

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>>52313526
But...I don't even have a laptop!

>>52322374
>not jamming a t540p up ur bum

>>52313626
What's it about?

>>52317286
How do you distinguish a gay moan from a straight moan?

>>52313526
THE BORDER EXEMPTION OF THE FOURTH AMENDMENT DOESN'T APPLY TO THE FIFTH
AM I BEING DETAINED
AM I FREE TO GO

>>52322494
imagine a guy moaning like a girl

Bend over and tell him I got drugs & bullets at the end of my rectum

Remember that time that TSA employees rifled through that woman's purse, started flipping through her checkbook, and told her that her husband was probably cheating on her because of the payments they saw in the checkbook register?

http://articles.philly.com/2010-08-18/news/24973352_1_tsa-police-officer-checks

Are you guys retards? Why dont you just install 2 os one being a bait while the other is hidden. I literally done thag once going from Sweden to London. I installed windows 7 just to bait them. And they got baited.

>>52322610
ok ahmed.

>>52319302
i remember those days fuck you osama bin laden.Now you gotta have a passport/passport card.

>>52322630
Actually i did it because im embarassed on the type of porn i watch which involves scat. If the border control saw it. I would have killed myself

>>52322662
why would they look down on you for enjoying cannibal porn? its common

>>52322684
Man and i thought scat was bad. I shouls of just showed the border control my scat collection. Funny thing is they had to check each file they probably would have vomitted at the end.

>>52322711
Sounds like a good way to hide CP, just put subfolders thru subfolders of scat and they'll be too disgusted to look further, brb smuggling terabytes of CP

>>52313707
/thread

>>52322494
"Ah, yeah, fuck my ass." *Vin Diesel voice*

>>52314639
Alright anon. Give me the nice high res image and I'll make hand pics for days. You got me.

>>52321776
no they can't

sorry, NDA stuff on there, ask sony for permission first, then we'll talk

>>52322732
Nope. If you're suspicious enough a border control or FBI agent has to manually go through every single video or photo you have. This includes CP.

I had to turn on my game boy color when I was 12 once at the air port.

>>52318408
do you post here often around this time of night?
I see your retarded spacing this time of night a lot

Do they care about pirated things?

>>52317446
5th what's that?
you're not in america you know?

>>52317721
ok so they have to let you in
but quoting us ocnstitution is as retarded as quoting french one since none of them apply outside of the country they belong to, if you're entering the country until he stamps your passport/lets you through you're not under protection yet. besides who would travel to US anyway?