>sir, please put your password in
>we just need to check your laptop
what do, /g/?
>he doesn't put all his files on an encrypted windows to go 256gb drive and then swollow it prior to getting on a plane for retrieval in the lavatory
I just turn my laptop on and it asks for a boot disk and they wisk me on through :^)
I don't have anything bad on my laptop
Apart from a couple of downloaded episodes of Wheeler Dealers. I doubt they'll kick up much of a fuss about that.
By the way, Wheeler Dealers is a great show and you should all go watch it.
>we've detected encryption in your computer, sir
>we've just got to know whats in there before we let you pass
>we can't let potential terrorists enter the country
Honestly laptops and even cellphones are a hazard that get overlooked.
Any half smart criminal should be able to realize you can fit razor blades and even think knifes within the casing of your laptop or cellphone.
Neither are checked and typically go unnoticed.
That's the guy you need to worry about: the Customs and Border Patrol agents.
TSA can't search your laptop, but CBP can.
They claim that airports are "Constitution-free zones" so they argue they don't need a warrant to perform the search.
>we're gonna detain you sir and further inspect your laptop, sir
It's taught me so much about cars, I mean I still know very little but it's better than fuck all for when I take my car to the garage.
And it's just so entertaining. Definitely my favourite show at the moment.
>have thinkpad with hidden grub that boots to windows xp
>which is made to be slower on purpose, has bonzi buddy, a clusterfuck of a desktop, and internet programs with more than 5 toolbars
>just booting into the password menu takes minute
>reponse time is 3 minutes after trying to launch (for programs)
>password is already written down, and its at least 64chars
>all full of weird symbols and garbage
>traveling with your computer to places where they will go through it.
The least you can do is to install another OS, make it default and then they can see that the computer is capable of booting.
If the inspection is done by one guy, it he cannot do this all day.
I've been in this situation twice by now
once in London and once in Germany
Let me tell you what went down, Germany first:
they've asked me to take out my laptop and open it. they then swiped some piece of paper over it - likely some test for specific chemicals ... don't know why, but whatever.
then they've asked me to turn it on - ok.
I've configured the bootloader to say "Greetings Professor Falken!" as my "enter password" phrase - because of reasons. They've waited ... since they expected some OS bootup screen. After a minute or so they've asked why it's not starting. I told them it's waiting for instructions. "Like a password?" "yes" "ok, could you please input the password?" "I don't want to" ... a few seconds pass ... they check my papers or something "ok, have a nice trip".
all in all - ok
basically same thing at first.
"please enter the password" "I don't want to", "why?" "because I value my privacy", "are you hiding anything?" "only my personal files", "are you trying to interfere with us accessing your computer?" "no, you can access it - it's on" ... a few seconds pass ... "sir, you must allow access to your computer or you are hindering official border control measures which is against the law and will not allow you to enter the UK" "I'm not hindering anything. here's the laptop - you can do whatever you want. If this doesn't satisfy any legal obligation I might have I'm not aware of it. It is not my intention to violate any UK laws" ... some more seconds go by ... "please wait here for a minute" ... he goes away, talks with some other dudes, all of them stare at me from a distance. he talks to some guys with submachine guns and comes back with those guys as backup. "sir, we have to take you in for further questioning" "alright then" ... I spend about an hour answering all kinds of general shit like where I've worked and what I'm planning to do and so forth. then they've asked me what I'm hiding and that they can't allow entry for "potential terrorists" or "potential criminals" ... I interrupted and asked them what they mean by that. no actual definition was given ... instead some bullshit lecturing. after I've waited for about an hour I was able to go. my laptop was given back and I'm sure some people tried to get access during that waiting period. they told me that they "keep their eyes on me" ... whatever that means ... and that they will investigate if I won't take the flight back I plan to.
flying home was absolutely no problem though. haven't been to the UK since, but I guess I'm on some kind of list now
>implying on my traveling laptop
>implying its not on my main comp, which my laptop automatically sshfs's to if there's internet
i would expect this shit in europe or third world countries, but not in usa
i would expect normies would comply, and only 1 in a 100 wouldn't, aka you, so they thought you a terrorist
white people = pedophilies
black people = rapists
that is why i love be PARDO
are you slapping the little girl? you monster!
>watch as novice views forbidden memes
Allow them to confiscate it.
>implying i do important shit on it
>implying it's not a shitty $60 netbook i can afford to lose
>implying the ssd isn't encrypted with luks
>implying there are any personal files or cookies on it
>dedicated 4chan machine, lose it and get another cheap laptop/netbook
>learn how to draw
>download 80 gigs of cp
>memorize them all
>delete fucking everything
>pass the airport
>get into the country you want
>redraw 80 gigs of cp from memory as realistically as possible
>get party v&
>argue that they're just drawings in the court
>muh free speech, muh artistic freedom
>get out of jail for free
About 12 hours ago in this thread
that is what i can do
make a better one
itt: draw cp
What if instead of a finger print recognition system you had a penis recognition system. Like you have to get a boner and stick it in a tube with a laser in it. The laser travels through your penis to a photo sensor on the other side picks up the light and determines by the veins in your erection that the penis is yours.
Then when customs wants your password you explain it to them. You start wanking and can't get a woody. Tell them you left your Viagra at home because you weren't planning on having sex when you got here. Either they give you free viagra or you can't log in.
Like anon said. Cops probably just run software on a drive that runs all known steganography and encryption detection etc. In an investigation they have a whole cybercrime task force for this.
Where the fuck are you guys flying from. I have flown from Belgium to every European country and some Asian countries and the most they ever done is open up the laptop without turning it on.
Yup. You can say you use that laptop as your business device and are issued a flash key as a security measure, which is already on the luggage. Whether they believe you or not is up to them, I mean why would you pack the key but not the laptop (one excuse you can say is that luggage handlers are rough and might have broken laptop)
If they're stopping you and asking to see your laptop it's because you probably look like a neckbeard or something.
Body language speaks more than appearance, however.
If you're fidgeting and acting nervous, you look like you're trying to get away with something.
Maybe you wouldn't be so nervous if you didn't have questionable anime porn on your computer.
I have a dual authentication setup (for dm-crypt/LUKS) on my laptop. It requires both a password and a keyfile to unlock the partition containing the OS and files. The keyfile is stored on a flash drive. You could put that in your checked bag, and they couldn't do shit.
To save yourself some trouble after all the lecturing is done and you are free to go you can say "Thanks, yes please, keep an eye on me, i've been told that here lives some crazy people that like to blow shit out...like airports and stuff. have a nice day!"
>If you're fidgeting and acting nervous, you look like you're trying to get away with something.
yeah, must be a terrorist, and not just someone anxious to be getting on/off an airplane.
I have flown numerous times and once they asked me to turn on my tablet, I did it and they let me pass.
Not having another (encrypted) machine for sensitive files in 2016 is not very smart
>they turn the laptop on
>it boots to a black screen with large red lettering
>ARMING DEVICE... OK.
>10 SECONDS TO DETONATION
>timer starts counting down
>I look him dead in the eyes and whisper just loud enough for him to hear me 'Allah Ackbar'
>start rubbing my nipples furiously
>displays goatse when timer reaches 0
>"I'm ready for my cavity search now"
>wink suggestively, still rubbing my nipples
>"aah crap! I forgot my password again!"
just keep typing your password wrong and they'll probably let you go.
I don't have anything weird on my laptop either, all my porn is stored on my desktop at home.
Reminds me of the time I went to Walmart to get something when I was 17. I was a shut in for 2 years previous.
They didn't have it and on my way out I got anxiety and headed for the exit as fast as I could without running. I had my bike around the corner 20 feet from the exit and as I rode away and looked back I saw security looking for me, and I petaled hard pretending I stole something.
Rate my blog.
>without turning it on
That's much smarter because IIRC you don't actually turn on the computer when you're running forensics. . . If they wanted to find incriminating shit they would be better off doing it the right way
Opening pretty much any file will leave a trace (atleast on windows), even a name of securely deleted file can get one arrested. Thats why I dont even download or open anything sensitive on my day-to-day machine.
>tsa asks me to boot my laptop
>grub loads, linux login prompt shows up
>"no, you have to load it fully"
>"it's done booting"
>"no i mean, where are your icons? Where's windows?"
>login, run startx
>he moves the cursor for a bit and then waves me through
Apparently they've been taught if your computer doesn't have icons or a taskbar, it's not a computer
Wrong choice if you're an American anon. Supream Court rulings have upheld that you cannot be compelled to provide a password, however biometrics can be forcibly collected by court order.
Yes, seriously. Passwords are in your memory and would have to be communicated, which is technically testifying and being compelled to do so would violate your 5th amendment rights. Biometrics would simply be warranted evidence that must be produced like a blood sample or other bodily fluids.
>testifying and being compelled to do so would violate your 5th amendment rights
I'm surprised by that. I always find it strange to not be compelled to testify. For me if someone refuse to testify it's an accomplice, because it's what that person is objectively an accomplice.
I don't use a laptop. As far as my e-reader goes, i have all the e-books in the cloud that takes a few minutes to download when i step into the states, and the few translated Chinese novels on the device are irrelevant to the authorities as they aren't licensed in USA.
In other worlds, they can suck my dick.
>mfw laptop doesn't boot because bios was improperly flashed with coreboot.
I remember this happening to me around 2004 when I went to visit my online GF in Canada.
Right on the desktop was a folder of 4+ years worth of convos I had with her. They kept me waiting for hours reading the entire damn folder. They only stopped when my plane was finally ready to leave.
It was humiliating.
Since I use Linux I can just say that my computer's broken at the moment and I'm getting it repaired once I get home. Normalfags blank out when they see a black screen with text on it.
>get to airport 3 hours before flight
>have HDD with windows vista and bloat installed
>takes 20minutes to boot up
>two guys blowing each other wallpaper
>penis for cursor pointer
>gay moan when boot completes
As far as i can remember only the 4th has been officially curtailed at the border. I may be mistaken. (The executive branch claims it's 100 MILES inland from the border which covers like 80% of the US population, but it's only been judicially upheld at the closest checkpoints.)
Sorry, I like to keep my 500gb of Gachimuchi safe.
>pleading the 5th
Sure they can't compel you to reveal your password but that doesn't mean you've beaten them.
>sir please unencrypt your laptop
>no thank you, I plead the 5th
>ok, you can't enter the country then
do you all look like terrorists?
i travel frequently with a laptop and i've not been stopped once.
You can't be denied entrance into the country for failing to decrypt your computer. Being a citizen entitles you to re-entry. They might delay you, or you might be "randomly selected for additional screening" but you will get back in.
Confirming. This is what certain Middle East countries make you do - everything has to turn on.
>download CP at home
>put it on your neocities website while in incognito
>leave computer on
>cant remember link
>see the link in google chrome tab
>enter it in current session
>C:\Users\xddDd>shutdown pls xD
>command not found
>turn off windows xp
>close virtual box
>shut down actual windosw 10
yuo nromies xDdd
>"oiio blimey a chuffed hot hatch innit bruv just a tenner to get the windscreen replaced from the nearby scrapper along wif a new aerial and front arches. and waddya know! there's a user's breuchure in the boot! now this is a proper mint."
>install distro of your choice to an SD card, or one of those really tiny flash drives
>leave it plugged in
>set that as the first boot device
>if asked, machine powers up, loads a desktop, you login with a fresh OS image with nothing on it
>"go on through, sir"
>arrive some time later, unplug SD card or flash drive, boot real OS off HDD
best I can come up with right now. Well, other than leaving all the data at home and using a VPN, but bandwidth charges and speeds might make that a nonstarter
If you had sensitive documents, it would be safer to compress and encrypt them, store them on a microSD card that you hide somewhere (anus?) and wipe and do a clean install of your hdd.
Yeah, just put your files on an EXT partition and set your first boot to a windows partition instead. Put some music on the windows partition and when they login it'll be completely fine.
>partition an SD card into two halves
>first partition is FAT32
>second one is dm-crypt/LUKS
>store secret things on the second partition, some snapshit pictures on the first
>put it in your camera
>camera sees only the first partition that it understands, ignores the other
>it also works fine with that space, takes, saves, and deletes images, etc
>at your destination, pop it into your computer and mount the encrypted partition
>Bonus Round: replace the sticker on it with one from a different SD card so that the size on the sticker and the size reported by the camera are the same
>TSA nigger/mexican takes a rapid look at it
>implying he knows that you can hide a file starting with a dot
>"Looks good sir, move along"
Remember anon, this is a security theatre. Catching the bad guys happens behind the scenes.
that ruling stated that can't make a copy of your hard drive or hold your computer without a warrant. It did not prohibit them from searching the computer in front of you
Unless you're brownish and speak with a Spanish accent you're fine. I used to be able to go through the Juarez-El Paso boarder All the time about 6 years ago before the new card pass port thing came. All you had to do to get back in was say you're American and talk to the guy for a few sentences. I miss when it was that easy.
>implying I know the password
>implying I would tell them there's 3 other things that go with the password to unlock it, so even if I told them the password, they are still missing the other keys to get into the program that makes the password for me
>implying i would be able to remember all that while being drugged up and beaten because i never turn my computer off so I sometimes forget where I even put the other keys after a reboot
If any of you are interested:
There have been a few US court cases involving key disclosure where people were ordered to give up encryption keys/decrypt files.
In the case United States v. Doe (Feb 24, 2012), it was ruled that forced decryption violated the fifth amendment. However, in the 2013-2014 case, Commonwealth v. Gelfgatt, the defendant was ordered to give up encryption keys, and it was ruled that the fifth amendment wasn't being violated.
There are currently no laws in the US that mandate key disclosure, but the situation is sketchy at best. I'm not sure if they can hold you in contempt/charge you further if you "forget" the keys.
This is because it can be seen as hiding evidence. Testimony is your account of the situation. The 5th amendment doesn't give you the right to interfere with an investigation.
The 4th Amendment would probably be the better bet for this.
I must be the only one here that's also seen it.
Show them clean install of Win 10 with no other files and no browsing history.
Carefully explain that I can use Win 10 with Win 7 key now because Microsoft is kind and generous company offering people free updates.
But...I don't even have a laptop!
Remember that time that TSA employees rifled through that woman's purse, started flipping through her checkbook, and told her that her husband was probably cheating on her because of the payments they saw in the checkbook register?
Are you guys retards? Why dont you just install 2 os one being a bait while the other is hidden. I literally done thag once going from Sweden to London. I installed windows 7 just to bait them. And they got baited.
Man and i thought scat was bad. I shouls of just showed the border control my scat collection. Funny thing is they had to check each file they probably would have vomitted at the end.
ok so they have to let you in
but quoting us ocnstitution is as retarded as quoting french one since none of them apply outside of the country they belong to, if you're entering the country until he stamps your passport/lets you through you're not under protection yet. besides who would travel to US anyway?