tfw your 2 year old daughter drinks your protein shake

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>>41103646
>tfw have no children hate them so much refuse to date or even fuck around out of spite of bringing them into existence

>>41103646
Good, turned her into a 9/10 body fast.

>>41103646
>tfw you wife's 2 year old daughter drinks your protein shake

fixed.

>>41103685
She also uses my weights, when I want to use them, or constantly asks to be picked up on the treadmill. Fucking kids.

>>41103690
She is fairly pretty.

>>41103697
Better not be, otherwise that bitch gunna die. I've told her, if she cheats on me, both her and her lover will die.

>>41103703

>asks to be picked up on the treadmill

Fug, that's cute.

>>41103732
Until she headbutts you.

>>41103703
>Fucking kids.

phrasing

>>41103738
Sounds like you're complaining about her looking up to you? She wants to be like you. I k ow she's only two but that makes the situation even cuter.

Don't suddenly ban her from your workout area, gently explain she needs to be careful and can watch and one day you'll teach her.

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>>41104084
this

one day this could be you

>>41103703
>I've told her, if she cheats on me, both her and her lover will die.
Sounds like a really healthy relationship!

>>41104119
>and then princess Isley out-turtled the evil cat beast Supermong, and she and prince Gains lived happily ever after ruling over the land of peak performance
>and if you lift really hard sweety maybe one day you'll out-turtle all of them

>>41104083
It's only really problematic if you change the word order.

>>41104173
i would posit that kids fucking each other is less problematic than an adult fucking kids

>>41104084
Very true, I do plan to teach her martial arts anyway, best to get her fit and stronk to fight.

>>41104119
That is a wonderful image.

>>41104154
You need to lay down your ground rules.

>>41104165
Das ist sehr Übermensch.

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>>41103646
> sister eats all the turkey
> dad drinks all the milk
> cat is being a cat

>>41104337
Preach.

Or if you get forced to drink the lower fat milk your wife/mother/grandmother buys.

>>41103685
>refuse to date or even fuck around out of spite of bringing them into existence
I'm sure that's the reason why you're a kissless virgin

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>>41104352
I once drank this because I was out of milk

>>41104402
Such burn, this must require lotion.

>>41104439
>Your Life When

post your daughter, faggot

>>41105388
I'm not going to post my two year old daughter on 4chan (the pedo site).

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>>41103646
>tfw no daughter to love, spoil and be a role model for

sucks you aren't allowed to say that irl cause muh pedo shit

>>41106311
This is from an Arcade Fire song:

>I want a daughter while I'm still young
>I wanna hold her hand
>And show her some beauty

My 6 year old son has loved the fact that I work out at home now (we moved and no gym within 30 mins).

I got him some babby dumbells (5 & 8 lbs) and he does curls while I work out. He's also trying to work on preacher curls as well on my bench. I've got him doing push ups with his feet on a yoga ball. Some of my best motivation is when I come home from work and he asks if we're going to work out tonight. I want this kid to get ripped and fucking high school bitches by the time he's 11. Too bad I have to fight with him to eat anything, little bitch is never going to bulk like that.

>>41106369
I can't wait until my son is older, he's currently four months. This sounds pretty based, father-anon.

>>41103646
Turn your daughter into a fitness model, introduce her to Chad, profit in twenty years when they have a beautiful family of non-manlet children.

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>tfw your 2 year old daughter breaks your deadlift PR

>>41107456
This is actually a good idea desu.

>>41107502
Bruh she is stronk, lil' Athena.

>>41106369
>your preteen son brings back high school girls for you to fuck
This my dream also

>>41107540
Me too, but shhh...

>>41107335
Be active with him as often as possible as soon as possible. My son does baseball, football, soccer, swims all summer in our pool, rides his bike everywhere, and he and I do hikes (kid appropriate, yet still challenging). Get him out there in one of those back-mounted baby carriers and hike with him.

Also, I'm one of those asshole parents that does not allow hardly any screen time. Fuck tablets. He's not getting a phone until he can pay for it himself, and he gets a little TV before bed at night. Saturday is sports or outdoor activity day.

Also, no console system will ever be allowed in our house.

>>41107673
the problem with this is that sometimes you can be too harsh, and as they get older they will try to rebel. If your children get through that healthy, though, then they will grow up to respect and love you.

>>41107877
I'm not a dick about it. He would honestly rather me or my wife take him to the park and play with our daughter than sit in front of a TV. His buddies all play video games and he doesn't get why they would just sit there when they have a world to explore. We're just encouraging him this way while he's young so that when he gets older he'll want to keep doing this kind of stuff, but I'd never force him into a sport. I'm sure he will watch more TV when he gets older, but I won't let him be a lazy ass, that's for sure.

>>41107673

wow you sound like a really cool parent but let them some things, so once they come in teenage age they reject all your shit cuz " its parents idea".

If you are in US, get him into football ASAP, by the time he is HS, if he is buff and average looking he is gonna SLAY.

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>>41103703
>>41103646
to me you look like a loner, who fantasises about having a daughter that would do these things

>>41107923
Just make sure it doesn't affect his social life. Kids can easily start excluding him because he's "different" and it can result in a miserable childhood.

Not fitness related but I got fucked in that regard when it came time for everyone to start drinking. My parents made me terrified of drinking when I was underage (even though everyone does here) and it wasn't great. At first you decline invitations and make up excuses, and eventually they stop inviting you altogether. There's nothing worse than coming to school and hearing your friends talk about that great time they had yesterday while you just stand there. Missed out on a lot of development in that time, in bonding with both male and females.
I'm sure if your kid is into organized sports (I wasn't) he'll have a good time and bond well with everyone though. I also wish my parents were harder on me about video games for what it's worth.

Found out later I don't actually like drinking but I still would have liked to find out when everyone else made memories.

>>41107977
Why would I at 21 lie about having a daughter who forced me to stop focusing on schooling until now? Or a son? Or a needy partner? Just because I've fulfilled my biological imperative and you haven't doesn't mean I haven't; that's just projection. Not to mention, it shows what a poor judge of character you are, because if you had children, you'd understand that toddlers act as how I've described my daughter acting.

>>41108174
Totally agree on the social skills part, not sure I agree on the drinking part. My parents too had me terrified of drinking as a teenager, so I would go to the parties and just not drink. I feel like being straightedge is more acceptable today that it was 14 years ago when I was in HS, but maybe I'm wrong?

Thanks for the input, though, anon. I'm constantly trying to figure this shit out and not fuck him up or make him gay.

>>41107335
Start teaching the kid sign language.

>>41108237
Is it useful?

>>41108259
If their deaf.

>>41108259
It is for growth yeah. Most sign that they're hungry and want food a lot. However hungry you think the kid is they're probably hungrier.

You don't need to go full on sign language, there's simpler variations too.

>>41108287
Obviously. :^)

>>41108289
That's very interesting, I thought about that sort of application with it. Though, I guess if you can teach it to a gorilla (I think it was), then I supposed the logical progression would be that you can teach it to a human infant.

All of this has given me an idea, perhaps there should be a /fit/ parenting general?

>>41108259
VERY useful. It's allows them to communicate before they can talk. When my son was little, every time we spoke to him/performed a specific action we would make certain signs. The following were most helpful:

Eat/food
More
Milk (formula)
Done (they have fun with this one)
Sleep
Help

You can also use please and thank you to get them into the good habit of using these seemingly forgotten words.

>>41108327
>All of this has given me an idea, perhaps there should be a /fit/ parenting general?
That's a nice idea.

>>41108327
I would live in parenting general. Don't do it anon, I waste too much time here while I'm working already.

>>41108332
That sounds like a wonderful idea, I'll talk to my fianceé about it. It would certainly help when it comes to grumpy babies as having to run down a checklist of possible problems can be quite tedious and aggravating with a screaming four month old, who normally sets off the two year old (or vice versa, though she can speak fairly clearly).

>>41108353
>>41108360
There you go, lads: >>41108475

>>41108231
>not sure I agree on the drinking part
Depends on where you live I guess. Here it's an integral part of growing up. It's when everyone meets girls (guess who didn't) and actually gets to know each other.

>My parents too had me terrified of drinking as a teenager, so I would go to the parties and just not drink
I was very beta and afraid to stand up to my parents, so I never rebelled like many other kids would. I did go to some small parties to be sober/only have one drink, but I could tell people would prefer it if I'd drink, and they were having a "different" kind of fun than me. But that's gonna be one of his own battles to fight as a teenager/human being.
If anything I'd say teach him that it's ok to question you. That will probably help keep him from being beta like me, or the other direction of total rebellion.

>trying to figure this shit out and not fuck him up or make him gay.
I mean his dad is already browsing a somalian gay pirate website so who knows

>>41108514
>I mean his dad is already browsing a somalian gay pirate website so who knows

kek'd.

>>41108545
>sending anon to the burn ward