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Hey /fit/, there's a girl I'm seeing...
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You are currently reading a thread in /fit/ - Fitness

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Hey /fit/, there's a girl I'm seeing for a month and I've fallen for her way too hard. She is working with me which makes the situation worse. The thing is, I want a relationship but she doesn't. We talked about it and she said she's not ready for one right now, she wanted some time for herself and a relationship needs too much attention etc..Also she said we can continue seeing each other and if I find another girl she won't be mad. I'm really heartbroken by this, what should I do?
Also I've been sick for the past 2 months, vomiting a lot and eating like shit. I haven't been working out too. How long until I'm back in shape ready to start roiding?
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Dude, i just got over the same shit. Perfect time spent with qt coworker over about three months and i fell hard too, she said she liked me a lot but wanted to take it slow. turns out she had feelings for her ex, and as soon as he asked her to try and make things work, she dropped me and just wanted to remain friends. stupid bitch still gets mad when she finds out im talking to other girls. Never had a reason to drink before her
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"im not ready for a relationship" means theres someone else or you're not what she wants exactly. If you were, you would make her forget about whoever was holding her back.
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>>35508337
Fuck so what do I do? I think I love her...I really do. There's this other girl who likes me way too much and I went to her place once and banged her when I was mad for the first girl's reactions...But as I was walking home I felt dead, fuck my chest hurt, I really don't know what to do...I was planning to keep seeing her like this until I'm back in shape with some roids, I think she's gonna like me more then
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>>35508355
This. Please just forget about her, I completely understand that working with her makes it harder, but you need to just drop her ass. Its not fair to you, and she wont know what shes doing
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>>35508355
I know..I'm gonna try to become that man. I've been really down for the past 2 months, It's gonna get better with time and hopefully she sees the real me
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Same boat as you OP, fell super fucking hard for this girl and we start talking. Then she tells me that she wants to focus on this other guy right now. shit sucks, senpai.

Anyway, since you've been vomiting and eating garbage for the past two months, you've probably lost a good amount of muscle mass. I'd recommend being 100% cured before going back to the gym. I've lifted on a sick stomach before and I will never recommend it, especially if you're lifting on roids which requires an intense regimen and diet.

Get better and ease back into a routine. Don't just hop on the fucking roids and shit when you aren't in stable condition
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>>35508362
Dude, im not even over the girl im talking about, i get sick whenever i think about her or the things we say or do. Its been really toxic for me, i starve myself, stop lifting, and drink a shit ton more than i ever did. Fuck, even started smoking whatever i can get my hands on. You need to just move on, the less you talk and see her the easier it will get, at least you dont rely on her for rides to work like me...
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this just in /fit/ is literally just cucks.

stop being pussies and then you'll get some pussy
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>>35508380
Yeah that was the plan, but I'm really in a hurry right now cos I don't want to lose her and want to get back in shape before she drops me
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>>35508324
wtf why is it that so desperately want to love but women don't?
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>>35508362
You don't love her. Love is a two way street. You can never truly love someone if they aren't reciprocating that feeling back to you. You may like her very very much, and you may be infatuated with her, but it isn't love. If she was wasn't ready to commit to dating after an entire month of seeing you, then she never will. You need to drop her ass, I'm telling you.
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>>35508394
Dont lift thinking itll get her to like you, women are bitches and she obviously wants a diff guy, dw about it and move on
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>>35508377
no, she won't. she has her eyes set on someone else. cut your losses, brah and focus on getting healthier for the gym. cut the other girl out- it's no good for mental health
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>>35508324
youve been put in a perfect spot right now OP. not joking. an inch away from the friendzone is where you want to be. lower your interest in her. and dont give the pussy shit about you cant stop thinking about her. go on tinder or something, find someone youre not interested in to take your time up. make sure your dates are not cheesy romantic and skip out on one next month. once she sees you losing interest she will put in an effort to win you back
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>>35508397
why is it that men* so desperately want to love
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>>35508355
> theres someone else or you're not what she wants exactly. If you were, you would make her forget about whoever was holding her back.

THIS. EXACTLY. THIS.
Don't fuck yourself up just let her go. Don't waste your god damn time on someone who doesn't even have feelings for you.
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>>35508394
Bro getting buff on roids isn't going to make her like you, unless she is really shallow. If she does get with you because of how buff you are, then you know she is a shallow hoe and needs to be ignored.
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>>35508362
Lol, faggot, you don't love her, you love the thought of fucking her. When you've been with her for 20 years, and sacrificed tons of shit, come back here and say it. Granted, all relationships starts with the love of wanting to fuck
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>>35508412
That's what I planned, but I can't get myself to act really cold towards her. And I'm afraid she might drop me if I get too cold, maybe there's another guy and she's picking between us both
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>>35508417
I don't know man, every time I go really hard in the gym and get in shape women flock to me...I lost my last gf just as I stopped working out last year and got really out of shape
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Man I was just in a similar situation. She wanted me bad and finally got my interests but only was romantic with me for 5 before dropping the "I'm not wanting a relationship" bullshit. People tell me I was used since she fucked me during those days. It felt authentic too, she was doing PDA and cute emotes and that sorta shit. Still hurts. Started drinking. Just drop it, those women are immature and only think of themselves. You'll find a good one.
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>>35508469
Sounds like me, used and feel like shit. Gonna not go as hard on the alcohol soon
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>>35508454
Look I understand that everyone and their mom on this board is going to tell you that gains = relationships, but it doesn't. A relationship based off of physical appearance will not last. If you honestly, seriously want a relationship with this girl and you want it to last, gains are not going to get you there.

If she does decide to date you for your gains, you're going to get a couple good fucks from her, and then she's going to drop your ass.
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>>35508484
man she's a hard girl and everyone has been telling me that, even her best friend told me I won't find a harder girl for relationships. Maybe she just needs something to soften up, she also broke up a couple of months ago so maybe she still has feelings for him, good thing that he lives very far from the city now
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>>35508437
DONT ACT COLD. make things less romantic, but always be there for her. ive seen it countless times. im pretty autistic, but the girls i stop trying with are the girls who eventually come back to me
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>>35508484
This is completely true.
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>>35508495
Alright, but I haven't been really romantic with her other than buying her some chocolate for new year. I try to stay distant and not push her too much, I can still see that I'm trying to make it work more than her, maybe I'm just gonna lower the signs of interest
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>>35508509
BRO I LITERALLY ALSO BOUGHT CHOCOLATE FOR THE GIRL I WAS INTERESTED IN

SHE ALSO SAID SHE WASN'T READY FOR A RELATIONSHIP

NOW I AM ALSO TRYING TO DECIDE BETWEEN BEING COLD TO HER OR STILL KINDA BEING THERE FOR HER

ARE YOU ME??
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>>35508509
>>35508521

Brehs, there is at least 3 of us in this boat... Mine just went back to Germany to dance for a year though.

I don't wanna feel these feels anymore.
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>>35508521
And I thought only guys didn't want relationships and only wanted FWB. So many similar stories in this thread, fuck women are pain in the ass these days
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fuck bro's... we can't catch em' all.
Sorry for you guys that got kek'd by these hoes.
I've become numb to it. All highschool for me was getting the "I dont want a boyfriend", "Im not ready for a relationship right now, anon" spiel.
For every L we take, is a W in the future. Love y'all
lift the feels away
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>>35508531
>fuck women are pain in the ass these days

more like every day for all time but hey what you gonna do
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>>35508540
thanks for the hopeful words anon
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>>35508324
The sooner you cut off contact, the sooner you can start getting back in shape. I know it's hard because you work together, but avoid talking to her unless it's necessary
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Alright OP here, I'm just gonna show less interest, keep seeing her and don't mention relationship until I'm back in shape, also gonna keep banging the other girl and hope she doesn't find out,too bad the other one works with us too...kek
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>>35508561
D E V I L I S H
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>>35508561
Yeah man just show less interest in her, that's what I'm gonna do. She's going to either initiate contact with you first or she won't and you can move on and make more gains
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>>35508561
Dude you should really reconsider fucking with girls at your work. It's an easy place to meet people but it makes shit so awkward and unpleasant if it goes south.
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>>35508324
>not ready for a relationship
and then reading >>35508355

fuck me
same shit happened here
>fall hard for a girl
>she gives me all the signs that she's into me
>NOPE anon, my ex somehow STILL is in my head
>fucked back to her ex
>texted me 2 days after "breaking up"
what the hell /fit/?
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>>35508324
>Not ready for a relationship
I've heard that before and then she ran back to her ex-bf, just like a dog runs back to his owner.
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>>35508494

Match her effort.

Stop obsessing over her. Its unhealthy.

Make your intentions with her clear and if she does not reciprocate, roll with the blow, do what you need to do to cope and move on.

You are the prize. Dont forget that.
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Its strange, ive never fallen for any kind of girl, i just cant relate to someone putting so much faith and dependence on someone else.
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>>35508355
So basically that's their way of saying "i liked that we fucked for some months, i liked that i showed you my interest in you, but things are not gonna work out just because" ?
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>>35508324
Anon, I recently fell into a similar but way worse trap than you are in right now my friend. Moved out to Colorado from Florida with my girlfriend for some seasonal work. She left early, and I followed her back because I was in love and thought we had something serious, special, and worth pursuing. That was a month ago, and now she's leaving to go back without me in three days because 'I just don't feel the same way about you as you do about me'. Her words, Anon. I was fucking crushed. I chased this bitch 2000 miles across the country only to find out the feelings weren't equal and she wants to move on without me. I let this girl break my heart and my trust, too, and in the end I don't even get the girl. Isn't that some shit? I'm really rambling here, but what I'm driving at is this - investing emotionally into something or someone is just that, an *investment*, and you should never invest carelessly. This girl by her own admission does not care for you as anything more than a body to fuck. You need to square away your feelings; they are not going to be reciprocated. Sorry buddy. On another note, ignore shit like >>35508606, it's fine to fuck your coworkers, just don't let your personal life spill over into your professional one. Unless you can't check your problems at the door, in which case be smart and don't fuck your coworkers.
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I'm feeling this thread.
>fall for girl hard
>shes not interested
I haven't been interested in a girl like this my whole life and probably will never meet someone like this ever again. Now we don't even talk to each other.
I might of messed up the first impression.
what do
>>
>Not ready for a relationship
>Yet does everything that a couple does

>I just don't feel the same way about you as you do about me
>Yet clearly sees that the guy is falling for her

What is up with, mostly, girls anons?
Why do they feel the need to play with out emotions? No wonder that more men tend to go all depressive n shit.
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>>35508776

It's cliché but if it's happened once it can happen again. Just learn from your mistakes, do what's best for you and you'll be better person when the next grill you catch feelings for comes into your life.
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>>35508841
Probably why i surround myself with guys and browse fit all day desu senpai, i wish i was gay
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>>35508850
ty for the hope bro.
she has me really fucked up
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>>35508324
This girl is not worth your time brah
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>>35508859
And then there's that whole mentally of those girls that tend to date someone, also applies to some guys of course and get back together with their ex-bf/gf and the only reason they give is
>Not ready for a relationship
Happened to a buddy of mine, he's devastated, dated that girl for nearly half a year, gave her small presents, she gave him stuff and all that fancy couple shit, but in the end she went back to her abusive ex.
Some people.
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>>35508894
Im sorry to all of you that this happened to, but it makes me feel a lot better that im not alone, that shit hurt a lot and none of my friends went through the same so they just call me a bitch
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>>35508910
Not that anon, but i'm going through exactly the same.
Dated a girl for quite some time, everything looked like relationship town and then in just 2 days she changed her mind completely and gave me the "not ready for a relationship" reasoning.

Funny though that she's still texting me from time to time, looks like i have something her Ex doesn't have.
>so they just call me a bitch
Don't listen to that, being toyed with is the worst feeling, you're sure that this person has the same interest in you that you have in her and then crushes you like a grape.
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>>35508931
sadly she took away a lot of my motivation to better myself, but at the same time the anger has also been a nice shove in the right direction, deciding to actually move and do shit other than drink and get high whenever im not at work
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>>35508949
>sadly she took away a lot of my motivation to better myself
Same here, i'm angry at myself for actually trying to open up to a girl again and for falling for her words.
At the same time i feel like my motivation is gone because i somehow did it for her, which is a huge mistake btw.
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>>35508954
jesus brah we like the same. I wasnt even mad at her when she went back to him, i was just mad at myself and slumped into a very violent depression
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I didn't think this sorta deal happened a lot. Are most women like this? Are we all just really unlucky and finding manipulative, indecisive, and selfish girls?
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I hope all of us have some good luck coming our way.
real talk
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>>35508959
Looks like it.
She showed me her affection towards me until the very end, gave me a cute christmas note with stuff like see you soon and then days later
>I-i can't anon
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>>35508970
Im probably lying to myself when i say that i think we just got unlucky, in my situation im sure it would have been different if i started seeing this girl a month or two before or after i did
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>>35508976
Yeah we were perfect right up until that talk, even after when i blew her off for a week we just slipped right back into the affectionate flirty shit the next time we saw each other, doesnt help that we work together... I dont want to let her win since i was working at our facility for like a year before her, but damn if i dont want to go find a new job, maybe i win if i get a better paying one. Another sad realization is that before her i didnt care about girls and was more focused on having fun without them, she just kind of fell in my lap, dont see that happening soon since i dont know many single women and the last girl to show interest in me i was too autistic to see and she lives a ways away
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>>35508978
this.
i came in when she turned into an alcoholic from her breakup. it was fucking impossible. why did i do this to myself
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>>35508997
It really helps when you realize that its her loss, we all deserve better, and there really are a lot of fish in the sea, always better than what we have
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>>35508994
You and me both buddy, my girl also just fell into my lap through sheer luck.
Really sucks cause we got great along together, other people dream about that kind of a connection.
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>>35509008
It's kinda hard when she is exactly what you were looking for.
I'm actually thinking about going back and trying again next month
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>>35509008
but why settle for something better, when she was the perfect mixture of looks and character?
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>>35509020
>>35509021
I thought the same shit you two did, and it only ends in pain. Please dont do this to yourselves, focus on you for now and do your thing
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>>35509020
>>35509021
Plus if she was perfect or you thought you were in love, thats just a lie. If either of those things were true she wouldnt have hurt you this bad in the first place.
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>>35509020
>>35509021
OP here, I'm working and wasn't able to read what u guys wrote until now...Fuck u bros, stop causing these feels...For her I'm gonna bust my ass of in the gym with roids and working, if she doesn't want me I'll be in a position to get another girl, but she''s all that I want...I wanted her since the first day I saw her
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>>35509028
i know anon, i'm trying but end up shaking my head a lot about the whole situation.
confirms my belief that women really don't know what they want even more.
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>>35509041
the whole
>if she was perfect you'd still be together
is a lie
if she really didn't want you, why even bother going on a 2nd,3rd.....10th date with you? why bother with someone whom you're gonna drop in the end? why invest time and effort in showing that person you're affection towards him?
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>>35509044
>>35509042
>>35509041
what do i do?
wish i find someone to match up even close to everything she was.
give up?
or try again?
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>>35509053
Fine, maybe she was perfect, maybe mine was perfect. We spent crazy amounts of time together both in and out of work, record was like 8 hours just talking about the universe at a sharis over coffee, but in the end all of them told us they werent ready, and most probably went back to their ex. Why would anyone want to be someones second choice, heir backup plan? Trust me when i say we all deserve better
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>>35509059
of course try again, but be more carefull with whom you open yourself to.
then again, i'm probably going to go full relationship town with the next one again, that's just how i am. i've got a whole lot of love to give.
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>>35509069
true, nobody wants to be somebodys backup plan. but then again, she shouldn't have treated us like that in the first place.
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>>35509072
>>35509059
Try again and do your thing, but learn from your mistakes, especially "not ready for a relationship" if you hear that, friendzone yourself before you get feelings. I didnt know just how much i was capable of caring/giving until i met her, and i plan on giving 150% with the next girl
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>>35509081
Girls are fucking careless, i actually cant imagine myself doing that to someone like she did to me.
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>>35509087
and if the next girl tells you that she's not ready too?
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>>35509094
>They have the tits
>They rule us
It's sad, what about emotions? Just because men aren't allowed to cry in public doesn't mean we're heartless beasts.
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>>35509099
move the fuck on, im almost certain that none of us will hear those exact words again
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>>35509106
wouldn't bet my money on it
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>>35509116
if you hear it again, then its probably you. Take this first time as a chance to better yourself so you dont hear it again. Telling myself that it was her and not me is the only reason i havent completely given up yet
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>>35509072
>>35509087
ty bros seriously
+1 permanent luck to you two
wish me luck
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>>35508324
Time to grow a pair little man.
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>>35509136
Im not really sure what im wishing you luck to. If its going back to her, fuck you, if its moving on to bigger and better things, we're all gonna make it
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>>35509133
i guess you're right anon. still confuses me that she's texting me every now and then.
>you shouldn't have gone back to that guy if he's missing what i have
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>>35509133
How could it be that guys fault? Or any dudes fault?
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>>35508521
Nigger I sent my qt a heart shaped locket for Christmas and she's being weird and I don't know whether to be cold or sweet either.
What the fuck /fit/ how are there so many of us in this situation
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>>35509154
While from personal experience and reading in this thread, "not ready for a relationship" seems to mean she still has feelings for her ex, if you hear it more than 1 or 2 times its probably just an unlucky excuse that she used because you fucked up
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>>35509154
This, if she shows you the signs like they're written in the book of love, the act of retreat only titles her as a coward.
>Plus going back to an Ex is just the easiest way to not have to actively do something for a new relationship
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>>35509163
It's probably too much affection for her woman brain to handle anon.
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>>35509163
Im going to go out on a limb and say you werent together that long before you sent that to her, as a rule of thumb you should never send anything to be worn, especially jewelry. Next time whether its the same girl or not, try a nice thing of lotion, and especially a nice handwritten card that includes anything you talked about before, like inside jokes and stuff. they eat that shit up
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>>35509177
>and especially a nice handwritten card that includes anything you talked about before, like inside jokes and stuff. they eat that shit up
>mfw my girl sent me exactly that kind of card
>mfw she then told me the "not ready" line
um, yeah....
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>>35509177
She's actually my ex. I was her first and saved her from suicide.
I don't really understand why she was suddenly like "I'm not ready for a relationship". She won't stop reaching out so it's hard to move on and she told me she still loves me but it's so confusing.
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>>35509181
Im still going to be here, but id give all of you two options.
1: Stay close to her and be there for her when she and her ex inevitably break up again for whats hopefully the last time, then she might become ready for you.
2: Do what im doing and just drop her, you can remain friends via texting, but only if she initiates it. Dont go out of your way to talk or see her, it gets a lot easier. Move on.
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>>35508377
Wow. Reading these comments made me realize that the "white men are cvucks" memes isn't a meme after all.
No wonder you like Asian females so much.
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>>35509197
It's funny when you decide to go for the 2nd way, that she always initiates a conversation after a couple of days, it's like she's missing out on something you two had that she's not getting from the guy she left you for.
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>>35509192
I just distanced myself from her until she eventually just got the picture, im sure in her eyes im a dick, which isnt fair in any way because shes the cunt that led me on, but its better than getting hurt by her if i go back
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>>35508383
Please look after yourself anon. There is no need to do drugs to cope
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>>35509207
I know for a fact im better in every way from her ex, shes just insecure and wants to take the easy way out, shes explained all this to me. I get over it because i know ill be a catch for someone that doesnt make me their fucking backup plan
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Not OP but, when i show less interest in her, she'll eventually realize and ask questions like "Anon why are you so distant/cold?" What do?
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>>35509215
Thanks senpai
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>>35509216
My thoughts exactly.
If she's missing stuff that she did with me, she shouldn't have ended it in the first place.
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>>35509220
I straight up told her that i felt used. she told me i wasnt, but she doesnt know what im feeling and thats not something i can fix. Just let her know how you feel and that what she did to you was wrong, but dont come off like a whiny bitch
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>>35508324
You made a thread about this a few days ago, we told you not to meet because it won't go your way.

So I assume you met her, gave her your ultimatum and she told you what you said in OP. In other words, she rejected you.

Stop being delusional and move on, you stupid faggot. Love yourself now.
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>>35509240
This, but in a nicer way. I did the same thing and recently let go of all hope that shed realize im who she should be with. It feels 10x better
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>>35509235
not that anon but did that with my girl.
2 days later she texted me
>how are you?
>you alright?
top kek
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>>35509255
bitches are dumb
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>>35508324
>being like this because of a female
>roiding
jesus
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>>35509253
No, not in any nicer way, this whole thread is pathetic.

>I love her more than I love myself
> She obviously loves herself more than me
>Nobody including me loves me
> Its her fault and I need tricks and ideas to win her over

Mathetmatically, it's wrong.
Logically, it's wrong.
No pride, no masculinity, he's like a beggar begging for affection. How is that going to fucking win over anything, its pathetic.

Love yourself, viciously. Ignore the object of desire because nine tenths of desire isn't about the object, it's about the self.

Love. Your. Fucking. Self.
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>>35509282
Brah having just gone through this myself and coming to that realization i agree, just trying to be nicer about it. Im not helping him go back to her, i want him and everyone else in this thread to move on
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>>35509297
True, but the purpose of my harshness isn't to intimidate or belittle, but to inspire the belief that the old methods truly are wrong/useless. Thinking they're even a little bit okay won't inspire change.

Without that realization they won't operate correctly. I'm just trying to drive it home.

Said my piece now though, see you anons.
>>
>>35509313
Goodbye
>>
>>35509282

>I love her more than I love myself
> She obviously loves herself more than me
>Nobody including me loves me
> Its her fault and I need tricks and ideas to win her over
no one here ever wrote that anon, we're just disappointed in how we, the guys, invested in something that looked like the beginning of a relationship and were let down after that.
i'm not saying that i want to win her over with some stupid child tricks, or that nobody loves me, to me it seems that you have not been in this kind of a situation ano
>>
Just reading this thread makes me not want to date a girl ever again, jesus.
>>
>>35509853
just find one that wants you and doesn't keep you as back up
it's a different story being alpha, but what would /fit/ know about this
>>
>>35509857
I had my hopes up after the same shitty thing that's being described in this thread happened to me.
Not sure if i want to go through that phase again though.
>>
>>35508355
My face when this happened to me.
My face when she's texting me stuff like " how are you?" on the regular.

I loved you girl and now you're rubbing your dirty finger in the wound. But i like writing with you...Fuck.
>>
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>>35508324
what a load of bullshit she's been feeding to you

"I'm not ready for a relationship" is like the number one excuse girls present to not hurt you (ie not being perceived as shallow) and keeping you as a beta orbiter
right next to "I don't want to ruin this friendship" and "you deserve someone else"

you gladly swallowed the bait
move on bro, pls
>>
>>35510114
This.

She'll then continue to text you like nothing was, tell you all the things that she's worried about and treat you like just a friend.
>>
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This post helped me a lot with my crush.
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>>35510520
OP got that advice the last time he made this thread. He didnt listen at that point...

Here's the real protip lads: do not think about the object of desire. Instead, you are now your own object of desire. Watch as magic unfolds.
>>
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>>35508324
You post this sob story every week you bored ass troll

You happen to be less lazy these days and switch a few words here and there, but the content is the same bs.

>hurr broken heart from gf
>durr let me add one sentence related to lifting
>Derp let me finish with roids reference

Anon, have this troll post a pic (current) next time.

>newfag bait
>guaranteed 200+ replies
>2016

Meh
>>
Been in this exact position and she went and got herself a full on abusive boyfriend just a few weeks later. Girl would constantky ask me if I was involved with anyone, would always make me cookies and give me presents. Fuck women.

Then I started getting back into a thing with my ex. We'd talk for hours every night. Everyone was telling me there was no way it wasn't going to evolve into a fully fledged relationship. What happens? "I like you and everything but I don't think we should go out".

You really can't rely on women OP. Focus on yourself: you deserve better. We all do. Don't let the bastards grind you down.
>>
My ex dumped me one month ago when we had plans of moving together and marrying sometime in the future.

She left me for some new dude who I never knew about before. Keep in mind that she was always texting someone, and she always said it was family/her best friend.

I took care of her when she broke her foot, my dad gave her work, I took care of her dog when she traveled, I helped her so much with her university, I fix'd her car... She always said she wanted a future with me. A house and a family.

Fuck her. Focus on yourselves, bros. I am learning that the hard way, but I know it will be worth it. Peace of mind and loving yourselves are the most important things.
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