My cat has always been pissing on my clothes and the carpets in my room for as long as i can remember. He's enemies with me, always swats me and hisses at me but gets along with my parents.
Pic related, coming back from a week off of lifting and i find a puddle of soaked in piss that was covering two of my plates.
Because of this I'm missing my workout to clean the weights and I can't stand the smell of his pee.
Is he trying to one up me and me the alpha of the house. What should I do... maybe pee on him to prove I'm the top alpha?
What should I do, my mom loves him and there's no way we're going to be friends. There's also no door to my weight room so I can't just close him off
he's already neutered,
I've mentioned to my parents just dropping him off at a farm or just killing the cat if he didn't stop so if he went missing I'd look very guilty
Hold him down by the neck. Hold him there until he stops struggling. Then hold him still for five seconds.
Then let him go.
You've forever established in his mind that you could end him if you so desired. He won't fuck with you again.
>maybe pee on him to prove I'm the top alpha?
Yes. Piss on his bed, his toys, his waterbow, etc. Everything.
Your parents won't know it's you, they'll just think the cat is pissing everywhere like usual. But the cat will know.
Eat fish and catnip everyday to rub it in the fuckers face too
alright I'm going to try this. Should I piss on him too for revenge and to establish absolute dominance for all the times he's done it to my stuff
Don't fucking do this or you are forever beta. Only betas hurt animals. True alphas protect animals. How about you get him a litter box. Cats don't respond to negative reinforcement if anything you are going to make it worse trying to "establish dominance" which is dumb as fuck because they aren't a dog.
Hey if the cat is bothering you how about you move out of your moms basement and have your own place with out a cat.
He was probably pissing on your weights cause hes laughing at you for having baby weight.
Don't listen to this faggot, OP. He sounds like a cat lover. One of those guys who dresses up his cat to take photos for his holiday cards.
If you let that cat alpha you in your own house, your testosterone will decrease because your subconscious brain realizes you are not in charge. That cat is a fucking gains goblin.
You piss on that cat and report back to us.
>mfw OP makes another thread saying the cat fucked him up and then pissed on him.
Srs these cats come into your house and start acting like they own the place then they expect you to buy them more shit fuck them establish dominance OP and everytime he pisses on your stuff do it again. Show him how stronger than him you are and that's it's your fucking place, he's just a cunt squatting there until you get bored of him and put him down.
he's lucky for now, nigger went into hiding somewhere in my house
It's only my shit me fucking pisses on yo stupid cunt. He has a litter box that's always kept clean. It's been years of back and forth between us. I have a loyal dog bro who respects me and another catbro that sleeps with me and is an all around bro. This slimy inbred fuck (he's has birth defects confirming he's inbred) hates everyone that isn't my mom or dad and swats people visiting my house he's never met before.
I haven't done any of this yet. My house is pretty big and still under construction so there's shit everywhere he could hid in. I picked him up and shoved his face in the pee stain yelling at him and then he ran off before I made this thread so it take some time to find the fucker
I'm not that stupid to piss on all of his shit just on him then throw him outside and clean the pee that got on the tile
>mom and dad come home
>whole place is covered in piss
>literally 8 inches of piss on the floor
>they find the cat drowning in his litter box
>they go forward a bit
>dog and other cat are chilling on a boat with sunglasses and cocktails
>they finally find OP
>they find him drinking a gallons of water while pissing non-stop and crying
>"LOOK WHAT YOU'VE MADE ME DO, STUPID CAT! IT WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED IF YOU DIDN'T PISS ON MY BABY-WEIGHTS!"
>mom and dad confront him
>by this point there's so much piss both are drowned
>neighborhood is flooded
>only survivors are a cat, a dog, and OP floating on a boat on the piss, chilling.
it's too late to comfort him and shit this nigger's gone batshit crazy. He's camped out in the middle of a kind sized bed. Being nice to him and praising him are out of the question as I can't even pet him without getting hissed at or him running away
OP isn't the alpha he obviously lives with his parents. Just accept the fact that you are the lowest on the totem pole op. My cat never pisses on my weights know why? because I work out in a real gym not curling 20 pound weights at home.
>not curling 20 pound weights at home
stfu nigger I have an entire cage with over 600lbs of weight
ty bro, got it all off craiglist for 200$
cat is trapped in laudry hamper
Read the thread, just a door then
This is the correct thing to do. There is no reason to get all peta about it, it's simple animal to animal communication. Some times you just need to do what's necessary to achieve a result, don't make it more difficult than it has to be. The alternative is making him fear you, which would actually be traumatizing.
OP you can't do it from the laundry box, you gotta let him out and walk around. You want to establish dominance, not fear, and dominance is leaving shit alone until you need to put an animal in it's place. Some time when he's acting like a shitlord you do this, and you'll probably need to do it more than once.
No point pissing on it OP, cats do not abide by the laws of nature
I love cats, but if a cat is pissing all over my shit, it is worthless.
Piss on the cat, OP. You're not beating it. You are just resorting to the same level of force that it is.
Pic related. It's my snuggly wuggly kitty cat that pisses in a litter box like a good cat. I have never had to piss on this cat.
Also I'd try this before pissing on it. It would be more 'civil'. Pissing on the thing again might just traumatize it, who knows where that will go. It's just a weird thing to do.
>He was probably pissing on your weights cause hes laughing at you for having baby weight.
10/10 would laugh again
>pinned him down with oven mitts because he was freaking out and I didn't want to get swatted
>he hissed for a while but eventually calmed down
>slowly let go of him
>he remained still fora bit then walked off
>I'll do it over the next few weeks if it need to be done o
>im off to work see ya latter boys
>becoming this buttfrustrated by a fucking cat
jesus christ, anon
>confirmed for a fag that fears cats
We all know that cat sees your betaness miles away. And now he is going to piss your face while you are asleep. When it happens please post
my cat even vomited by his litter box
I miss him /fit/. His urn is still where he used to sleep by my computer ;_;
That's the problem. I had to move in a small room where he couldn't get out. I was hoping I could be in a bigger apartment soon but he died of leukemia that he caught in the streets before I picked him up.
I didn't give him the cat life he deserved. At least he wasn't in the street anymore and he was loved, right?
I remember the last time my cat tried to pull something like that.
You know what I did?
I ate Mc'D's all god damn day. Than when the rumble started, I took a fuck off huge shit in his little box.
It was so god damn bad that he came into the bathroom, stopped dead in his tracks and stared at me. I held his stare the entire time I shit until I finished.
Not a single peep outta that fucker for 3 days. Never did piss in my laundry again.
Be a man OP.
my parents dog is like that too, one time he got on my bed and pissed right on my pillow. not too proud of it but i beat the little shit hard for it because i got so pissed off (and pissed on). didn't help.
honestly OP i think it's time to grow up and move out of your parents' house. the cat is doing you a solid. worked for me.
> parents bring home cat
> cat pisses all over your shit
> you tell your parents
> your parents don't give a fuck
> cat is clearly more important
it's your parents' way of telling you it's time to GTFO. don't take it out on the cat, be a man and take the hint. how old are you anyway? i assume you're over 18
piss on the weights to reestablish your territory
then, over the course of the next year- train this cat to be the ultimate killing machine. keep tuna in your room for gainz, and to feed the beast. whenever it comes into your room- feed it tuna and fight with it. your goal is a confident muscular cat- strong enough to defend your parents many years from now when they are old and you finally move out of their basement.
practice interacting with the cat on his terms. hold your hand out and wait for him to come to you. use tuna as bait. don't touch him unless he touches you first. don't be too rough with him unless it's clear that he is having fun.
the cat is a reflection of you
your gym bro
needs to be angrier-looking imo. + is too close to the laptop. but regardless, very nice work.
cats are too smart for that shit
if you threaten them or punish them with violence they will seek revenge
they will wait until just before your big date and then piss on your favorite shirt. they will hack up hairballs to ferment under your bed. they will pretend to like you and then claw your eyelids if you try to cuddle them.
they are worthy adversaries.
You grab the cat. Wear gloves if you must to protect yourself. Make the cat smell where it's peed. Then you hold the cat down and pee on him. Repeat until he gets the message that YOU are in charge, not him.
I don't get why some of you are getting so upset over the idea of pissing on a cat. Do you have any idea how nasty and toxic cat urine is in comparison to human urine? Also do you have any idea the nasty things that cats put in their mouths on a regular basis? The worst it'll do is humiliate the cat, and with any hope it'll get the idea that it's not the dominant lifeform in the house and it'll keep it's place.
>they are worthy adversaries.
No adversary you could literally starve to death by keeping in your home is to be considered "worthy".
They're fucking pets and I don't know why people who own them seem them as anything but.
All "cat problems" occur because the owner humanizes them.
You don't; cats do. No, it isn't leukemia, but it is a virus that will cause leukemia almost guaranteed. Sort of like how women can't get cervical cancer from sexual partners, but they can get HPV from partners which will greatly increase the chances of getting cervical cancer. Sort of - I'm not a biologist.
>He was probably pissing on your weights cause hes laughing at you for having baby weight.
I remember my cat pissing on my computer once when I was 14. Got so fucking angry that I took the cat, wiped it in its own piss and then dragged it to the backyard where I punted it 10m away like an old football.
Fucking cats man, never again.
> not earning your cats trust naturally
I think you might have an ugly soul OP
Pic related was feral and I just talked with him and hes now like glue to me
Other things you can do to establish dominance over the cat are booping his nose, and carrying him around by the scruff of his neck.
The former should be a medium tap, quick enough to dodge his retaliating swipe. For the latter, just get a grip of the fur that covers his neck and shoulders, and carry him outside. Normally you'd support the cat's lower body while doing this, but he's a dick - teach him like mama cat would. He'll probably fight you, just hang on and hold him at arm's length until he's outside.
what the fuck
what the fuck is wrong with that cat, guy
i can see the hate coming out from it
>OP back from work, what's up faggot's?
no he's not wearing lipstick, his bottom teeth stick out on top of his lips like a reverse saber tooth tiger
nigger probably though he was going to die and was going all out, even shat himself when i had him cornered
pic related he's sleeping on my dad and still alive and not peed on, I didn't have time before I had to leave to work
ayy lmao here's a good pic of his teeth form when we weren't mortal enemies
I'm 19, living in my parents basement, while going to school. Financially it's the best option because my university is a 15 min drive from my house so it make's no sense to move out. I also have a job and put a large amount of it towards my tuition so fuck off
Confirmed for never gonna WAAAAGH!!!!
Then stop bitching. If your parents are putting you up, then you put up with whatever THEY allow in THEIR house.
I mean, goddamn, you've got the time to bitch about it, and the money to rig a semi-decent home gym, but don't have the time or money to get a fucking dorm room? Or are you going to some "school" that doesn't have housing, like ITT tech?
>confirmed for never played WHFB
I'm sorry your brain is so under-developed you need the game to be over in half the time and with less rules to be able to enjoy it. At least when you grow up you'll have gotten enough painting experience this time won't have been completely wasted.
I've played both fantasy and 40k. Prefer 40k for one major reason, I can find people to play with. Seriously, nobody fucking plays fantasy. And both are still orks.
Why would I spend thousands of dollars a year to live in a dorm or apartment when I can live at home for free? My parent's aren't rich and neither am I so why waste all of that money
Then stop bitching. You aren't willing to pay the money or put in the effort to better your position, then fucking deal with the cat.
>Not having 3 or 4 friends to split an apartment
>Not renting a room from someone
Yeah, at least we believe you when you say you're 19, you sound like a fucking child.
do like everyone said and bat that motherfucker around, hard. but not hard enough to kill him. i did it to my cat and he learned quick who the big dog in the house was.
>try to starve him in your home
>he slashes your throat while you're sleeping and eats your 80 pound corpse for the next few weeks, and by then someone should have came in and opened the door for his escape
Giggling my ass off here thanks
I'm 100% with you OP.
My faggot cat, fucking hell. He once bit my face, and when I stood up didnt let go. He made me look like I was from the fucking 3 stooges, what am I? An idiot? Why does he try to belittle me.
He meows at the fucking front door every single morning, next to my room, when the faggot has a fucking cat door. But he meows and meows. I have to make barking noises and chase him away for him to shutup.
The worst part is, when im taking a shit he bangs on the door, meowing. wanting to come in. I hate my cat, i haven't touched it in ages, but all thats happened is that he now follows me everywhere, when I think we're warming up, he goes under my blanket, snuggles up. then starts biting me.
I'm so fucking done, thanks for the thread op. I used to put blankets on him and see if he was intelligent by timing how long it took him to get out, im gonna do the neck thing. thanks op so much.
>pic related. faggot cat
Have you an animal hunt and kill another animal? It's not even cruel, it's just sociopathic, a complete disregard for the pain felt by the prey. A lot of the time they won't even wait for the animal to die before they start eating it.
This mean speaks the truth. You need to show that cat some love man and not be mean to it.
Feed it, pet it, talk nicely to it. It'll come around. Cats are smart and acting aggressively towards it is only going to escalate things.
Dante, my catbro. He's chill as fuck. Named after the dead greasy Italian who wrote The Inferno. Not the negro football player and not the goddamn vidya faggot.
In real life:
>cat tries to slash your throat while you sleep
>accomplishes almost nothing because his claws are about as lethal as a thumbtack
>you wake up, scruff him, and lock him in the bathroom
>that's where he stays for the rest of the night, because that stupid fuck can't work doorknobs
This is the truth. You should just accept your position as the omega male and prostate yourself before the cat. The he'll know you know your place and leaves you alone.
Accept your place as beta and let the cat cuck you. Watch as your oneitis finds it cuter than you and jerks it off while he plays with her pussy while giving you evil looks. For added cuckness sit in the corner wearing a gimp mask.
My cat bro , qt as fuck , he had the flu last week , you can see his nose dripping :^)
OP you gotta catch him doing it and fucking freak the fuck out. Run after him roaring and when you catch him, grab him by the neck, and holding him up by it take him to the weight room and press his face in the pee, then push him off out of the door violently, but without hurting him.
Whenever he goes near the weight room or near the weights, raise your voice and stare at him.
Himalayan , they're cuddly as fuck , something special with mine though , his eyes are always dilated , looks like he's tripping balls , qt 3.142
I'm not at home right now , if the thread is still up by the time I'm home I'll post a pic , he sleeps in weird ass positions and he literally cuddles , he hugs you with his arms.
>lost my cat the other week, decide to put up fliers
>never really gave the cat a name, always alternate between different names
>call him sport, dickhead, cunt, faggot, homo etc
Cats don't respond to names anyway, on the flier it just said
>responds to food, won't respond to name as he is a cat
Got him back the next day.
Here's how this will go:
>OP grabs cat by the neck
>cat swats at OP's arm
>OP flinches and lets go
>cat jumps on OP's face and pisses in his mouth
>cat does some squats with OP's cat-sized weights
>put yourself in a better position
>needlessly spending hundreds of extra dollars a month feeding money to property jews and gentrifying neighborhoods, forcing poor people to move out so their apartments can be bulldozed to make nicer, more expensive ones that fund the jewish agenda
do you even go to school you fucking knuckle dragging imbecile. It's enough work trying to work a job and pay tuition while going to school but working enough for rent and tuition while having classes? You're a stupid faggot
It's not fucking hard.
>Work 20 hours a week
>Enough to pay for rent and groceries with enough left over
>Time to study and go to school
>Work full time in summer, make enough to pay off tuition completely, repeat
>"Hurr durr property Jews
>pay rent on 20 hours a week
What liberal welfare country you live in? Sweden?
I work 60 hrs a week and half my pay goes to the landlord jew. Rent is the biggest fucking waste of money ever. Youre paying someone else just for existing
>Rent is the biggest fucking waste of money ever. Youre paying someone else just for existing
>Youre paying someone else just for existing
>just for existing
Try for living in his house. If you don't like it, get your own house.
>but it's too expensive!
that's why there's rent, retard.
>"Hurr you live in a liberal welfare country"
>"I shouldn't need to pay to live somewhere"
I work in Canada. I make $12 an hour, and rent is $575 per month. So after rent, and after cell phone bills, I have ~$300 in free money for the month. Most of that goes to food, depending on how well I've budgeted (buying food in bulk and cooking everything, vs. going out with friends, buying junk food, takeout, etc.).
I'm not living in luxury, for sure. But I don't like having tons of non-essential shit anyway. I get by, and I'm comfortable.
>Hold on Fluffy, I've got to take a funny picture for 4chan!
You're like those autistic kids from elementary school who abuse their pets when their friends are over because they think they look cool.
I could have lived at home, if I wanted to be a huge manchild who didn't go to university.
I've got 6K saved up in the bank, no debt. I live poverty-tier because I enjoy the challenge, and I don't see having a lot of "stuff" as being important.
Also, applying to med school soon, so no plans of being a wage slave :^)
My cat and a bunch of albuterol from when /fit/ thought it was the new cutting wonderdrug.
Doctors can be wage slaves too you know. I bet they are actually more often wage slaves. If you have to work you're a wage slave. 6 figure student loans, nice house, and nice car usually leads you to working to pay for those things. A poor person can be financially independent on 300k.
go to local zoo or whatever, speak to lion keeper, tell him you want a big bag of lion shit.
spread it all around your garden, let the cat see you doing it, even toss some his way
stand back for the lolz
shit will be cash !!!