Cat pissed on weights; alpha of the house

>>30067364
You have to fuck your cat to establish dominance. It's the only way.

>>30067364
Why don't you just fuck him in the ass
That'll teach him

>>30067364
>dennis.jpg

Rape the cat in his ass.

>>30067364
Throw that stupid animal away if it doesnt like you?
Fuck what your parents have to say you underage beta that cats fucking with your shit

>>30067364
neuter him, legit answer.

>>30067470
he's already neutered,
>>30067451
I've mentioned to my parents just dropping him off at a farm or just killing the cat if he didn't stop so if he went missing I'd look very guilty

Hold him down by the neck. Hold him there until he stops struggling. Then hold him still for five seconds.

Then let him go.

You've forever established in his mind that you could end him if you so desired. He won't fuck with you again.

>>30067364
>maybe pee on him to prove I'm the top alpha?


Yes. Piss on his bed, his toys, his waterbow, etc. Everything.

Your parents won't know it's you, they'll just think the cat is pissing everywhere like usual. But the cat will know.

Eat fish and catnip everyday to rub it in the fuckers face too

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>>30067595
alright I'm going to try this. Should I piss on him too for revenge and to establish absolute dominance for all the times he's done it to my stuff

>>30067634
>Should I piss on him too for revenge and to establish absolute dominance for all the times he's done it to my stuff

Couldn't hurt.

Be sure to take pics for us.

>>30067667
maybe... I'll be back in 10, going to do it on kitchen floor that's tiled in case he pisses/shits in self defense so it's easy for me to clean up

>>30067667
Don't fucking do this or you are forever beta. Only betas hurt animals. True alphas protect animals. How about you get him a litter box. Cats don't respond to negative reinforcement if anything you are going to make it worse trying to "establish dominance" which is dumb as fuck because they aren't a dog.

Hey if the cat is bothering you how about you move out of your moms basement and have your own place with out a cat.

He was probably pissing on your weights cause hes laughing at you for having baby weight.

>>30067710

10/10 post

>>30067710
>Only betas hurt animals.

Gotta hurt animals to get meat.

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>>30067424

>>30067710

>cat spotted

Get the fuck out of here you dumb fucking cat, stop trying to get OP to reward the stupid cats behaviour by buying him shit


Fuck cats

>>30067795
There is a difference tho because when you kill an animal for food you try to do it in the most humane way possible with out having it suffer to much.

>>30067710

Don't listen to this faggot, OP. He sounds like a cat lover. One of those guys who dresses up his cat to take photos for his holiday cards.

If you let that cat alpha you in your own house, your testosterone will decrease because your subconscious brain realizes you are not in charge. That cat is a fucking gains goblin.

You piss on that cat and report back to us.

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>>30067595
>mfw OP makes another thread saying the cat fucked him up and then pissed on him.

>>30067827
>pissing on a cat is worse than killing one
kay bro

>>30067817
Srs these cats come into your house and start acting like they own the place then they expect you to buy them more shit fuck them establish dominance OP and everytime he pisses on your stuff do it again. Show him how stronger than him you are and that's it's your fucking place, he's just a cunt squatting there until you get bored of him and put him down.

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>>30067710
he's lucky for now, nigger went into hiding somewhere in my house

It's only my shit me fucking pisses on yo stupid cunt. He has a litter box that's always kept clean. It's been years of back and forth between us. I have a loyal dog bro who respects me and another catbro that sleeps with me and is an all around bro. This slimy inbred fuck (he's has birth defects confirming he's inbred) hates everyone that isn't my mom or dad and swats people visiting my house he's never met before.

>>30067863
>>30067667
>>30067623

>OP's house smells like human and cat piss
>Literally has pissing contests with his misbehaving cat.

>>30067852
cat is a fucking lanklet skele. I could probably kill him with one hand if I tried.

>>30067880
I haven't done any of this yet. My house is pretty big and still under construction so there's shit everywhere he could hid in. I picked him up and shoved his face in the pee stain yelling at him and then he ran off before I made this thread so it take some time to find the fucker

I'm not that stupid to piss on all of his shit just on him then throw him outside and clean the pee that got on the tile

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>mom and dad come home
>whole place is covered in piss
>literally 8 inches of piss on the floor
>they find the cat drowning in his litter box
>they go forward a bit
>dog and other cat are chilling on a boat with sunglasses and cocktails
>they finally find OP
>they find him drinking a gallons of water while pissing non-stop and crying
>"LOOK WHAT YOU'VE MADE ME DO, STUPID CAT! IT WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED IF YOU DIDN'T PISS ON MY BABY-WEIGHTS!"
>mom and dad confront him
>by this point there's so much piss both are drowned
>neighborhood is flooded
>only survivors are a cat, a dog, and OP floating on a boat on the piss, chilling.

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>>30067943

http://www.perfectpaws.com/spray.html

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>>30067975
it's too late to comfort him and shit this nigger's gone batshit crazy. He's camped out in the middle of a kind sized bed. Being nice to him and praising him are out of the question as I can't even pet him without getting hissed at or him running away

>>30068039
Holy shit he looks like the devil.. What did you do OP?

>>30068039
shoot him

he must not speak

>>30068039
Poke him with that stick until he comes out and then throw him out of the window

>>30067846
OP isn't the alpha he obviously lives with his parents. Just accept the fact that you are the lowest on the totem pole op. My cat never pisses on my weights know why? because I work out in a real gym not curling 20 pound weights at home.

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>>30068191

>not curling 20 pound weights at home

stfu nigger I have an entire cage with over 600lbs of weight

>>30068230
Dude that's a nice little setup you got there

>>30067595
dont do this you sperglord beta op

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>>30068248
ty bro, got it all off craiglist for 200$

UPDATE
P
D
A
T
E
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
cat is trapped in laudry hamper

>>30067364
Install a door on your room. Get cat fixed. Make sure his goddamn litterbox is clean always.

>>30068360
its a cat dude, leave it

>>30068360
>release
>establish dominance
>leave it once he knows you're the alpha
>die in your sleep

>>30068360
Now pis on it

>>30068360
>being this buttblasted by a fucking cat of all things

>>30068367
it's not really a room it's more of a section off of a hallway so there cant be a door

Hang cat, watch house burn down, kill mom, brick her up in basement, oops also bricked in reincarnated cat, rap on wall when police are there to investigate, die.

>>30068367
Read the thread, just a door then

>>30067595
This is the correct thing to do. There is no reason to get all peta about it, it's simple animal to animal communication. Some times you just need to do what's necessary to achieve a result, don't make it more difficult than it has to be. The alternative is making him fear you, which would actually be traumatizing.

OP you can't do it from the laundry box, you gotta let him out and walk around. You want to establish dominance, not fear, and dominance is leaving shit alone until you need to put an animal in it's place. Some time when he's acting like a shitlord you do this, and you'll probably need to do it more than once.

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No point pissing on it OP, cats do not abide by the laws of nature

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I love cats, but if a cat is pissing all over my shit, it is worthless.

Piss on the cat, OP. You're not beating it. You are just resorting to the same level of force that it is.

Pic related. It's my snuggly wuggly kitty cat that pisses in a litter box like a good cat. I have never had to piss on this cat.

>>30068459
Also I'd try this before pissing on it. It would be more 'civil'. Pissing on the thing again might just traumatize it, who knows where that will go. It's just a weird thing to do.

>>30068477
I haven't had to piss on my other snuggly wuggly cat. There's just something about this fucker

>>30068477
>I have never had to piss on this cat.
His eyes say the contrary..

>>30067595

in for OP to do this then piss on it

>>30068519

her eyes, you mean

:^)

>>30068039
>>30068039
Is your cat wearing lipstick?

>>30068039
you really need to clean under that bed

>>30067364
>maybe pee on him to prove I'm the top alpha?
You're risking your dick. Your cat sounds like a trained war machine.

There's nothing you can use to just block off the weight room? Like a box, chair, panel, ect.

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>>30067710
>He was probably pissing on your weights cause hes laughing at you for having baby weight.

10/10 would laugh again

>>30067710
Cat lady detected.

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>pinned him down with oven mitts because he was freaking out and I didn't want to get swatted
>he hissed for a while but eventually calmed down
>slowly let go of him
>he remained still fora bit then walked off

>I'll do it over the next few weeks if it need to be done o

>im off to work see ya latter boys

>>30068636
Gj op you won from a cat....

>>30068636
shoulda came close to his cat ear and whispered
"don't fuck with me"

>>30068636
You are such a faggot.

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>>30068636
show that fucker who's boss

>>30068636
God damn, wouldn't it have been easier to just kill yourself?

>>30068673
oh god i just imagined some fat basement dweller pinning down his moms cat and whispering into its ear

>say my name
>meow
>you're god damn right

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>>30068775
>say my name
>meow
>you're god damn right

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>>30068360
>>30068636
>becoming this buttfrustrated by a fucking cat
jesus christ, anon

>>30067364

Lift up by scruff of neck

Piss on face

Throw outta window

Go jack off

10/10 thread op.
Wud have been 11 if you had peed on it.

>>30068874
Not necessarily in that order

>>30068636
>oven mitts
>confirmed for a fag that fears cats

We all know that cat sees your betaness miles away. And now he is going to piss your face while you are asleep. When it happens please post

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This fucking thread

>>30067364
you know the fur will hide the bruises.. just saying

>>30067595
dont do this, op

>>30068039
leave him alone, put a door on your weights room or something

>>30067863
>implying killing something for food is worse than keeping it alive just to torture it for fun
PETA pls go

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>>30068477
my cat even vomited by his litter box

I miss him /fit/. His urn is still where he used to sleep by my computer ;_;

>>30068636
>oven mitts
>needing protection on your hands from a fucking cat
You're beta as fuck. If I knew where you live I'd piss all over your stuff too.

>>30069052
It's not as bad as it sounds. It won't hurt him literally at all. Put a hand on your neck without squeezing down. See, doesn't hurt.

>>30068360
let it out of the cage

>>30069159
I know that feel breh, you just have to remember you gave him a good life and move on.

>>30069204
Read the thread

>>30069229
That's the problem. I had to move in a small room where he couldn't get out. I was hoping I could be in a bigger apartment soon but he died of leukemia that he caught in the streets before I picked him up.

I didn't give him the cat life he deserved. At least he wasn't in the street anymore and he was loved, right?

>>30067364
>>30067364
>>30067364

I remember the last time my cat tried to pull something like that.

You know what I did?


I ate Mc'D's all god damn day. Than when the rumble started, I took a fuck off huge shit in his little box.

It was so god damn bad that he came into the bathroom, stopped dead in his tracks and stared at me. I held his stare the entire time I shit until I finished.

Not a single peep outta that fucker for 3 days. Never did piss in my laundry again.

Be a man OP.

my parents dog is like that too, one time he got on my bed and pissed right on my pillow. not too proud of it but i beat the little shit hard for it because i got so pissed off (and pissed on). didn't help.

honestly OP i think it's time to grow up and move out of your parents' house. the cat is doing you a solid. worked for me.

>>30069278
so op you have to do 3 things now
1: pin him down (done)
2: piss on him
3: shit in his litter box

Make his life hell.

>>30069269
>leukemia that he caught in the streets
You don't catch leukemia

>>30069336
He had aids and leukemia. I guess he caught aids and had leukemia.

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It's the only way.

> parents bring home cat
> cat pisses all over your shit
> you tell your parents
> your parents don't give a fuck
> cat is clearly more important
it's your parents' way of telling you it's time to GTFO. don't take it out on the cat, be a man and take the hint. how old are you anyway? i assume you're over 18

>>30067364
Yes idiot, always piss on your cat if he starts doing this shit.

>>30067364
That's what you get for skipping a week.

>>30068775
10/10 post

>>30069405
i recognise this, what movie is it from?

>>30068139
Poking is the only proper solution OP.
Poke really hard then post picks of dead cat/solved problem

>>30069159
This is the best answer OP.
Burn your cat alive and keep ashes in an empty shaker to establish dominance.

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>>30067710

>>30069694
The Boondock saints

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>>30069822

>>30069822

"Best post 2014."
-Scooby

>>30069906
pls come back scooby :(

>>30067364
put something nice to eat under a lot of weights. when he goes to eat it, the chair with the weights will crush him. They will think he tipped over the chair.

>>30068039
>that green dildo

>>30068636
What an alpha :^)

>>30067364
>What should I do
Kill him, you pussy. Seriously, why would you take shit from an animal that dies by you grabbing its neck and snapping it with relative ease?

piss on the weights to reestablish your territory

then, over the course of the next year- train this cat to be the ultimate killing machine. keep tuna in your room for gainz, and to feed the beast. whenever it comes into your room- feed it tuna and fight with it. your goal is a confident muscular cat- strong enough to defend your parents many years from now when they are old and you finally move out of their basement.

practice interacting with the cat on his terms. hold your hand out and wait for him to come to you. use tuna as bait. don't touch him unless he touches you first. don't be too rough with him unless it's clear that he is having fun.

the cat is a reflection of you

your gym bro

>>30068636
It doesn't work if the cat doesn't feel your heat and warmth. That mitt ruined it

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>>30067403
>>30067407
>>30067450
Never change /fit/

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>>30069822
needs to be angrier-looking imo. + is too close to the laptop. but regardless, very nice work.

>>30070235
>tik tik tik

>>30070107
this, op

>>30067710
>Cats don't respond to negative reinforcement
Everything responds to negative reinforcement.

>>30068039
Do you not clean?

>>30070937
cats are too smart for that shit

if you threaten them or punish them with violence they will seek revenge

they will wait until just before your big date and then piss on your favorite shirt. they will hack up hairballs to ferment under your bed. they will pretend to like you and then claw your eyelids if you try to cuddle them.

they are worthy adversaries.

>>30067869

Take him 5+ miles from your house and let him go. Or just take him down to the creek and drown him. Just end it's suffering.

>>30067364
It's simple.
You grab the cat. Wear gloves if you must to protect yourself. Make the cat smell where it's peed. Then you hold the cat down and pee on him. Repeat until he gets the message that YOU are in charge, not him.

>>30067562
Throw a towel over him and wrap him up tight. Then get some rope and tie him to some of your weights and sink him in the bathtub, or a really big bucket.

Drown that fucker.

>>30068636
>oven mitts to hold down a cat

Tell me where you live so I can come and piss on you too

>>30072311
Pussy. Cats are tougher than you think they are, and sometimes you have to take a firm hand to them to get them to change their behaviour.

>>30067364
>not anally raping your cat into compliance
Beta detected

If dubs, OP should *not* piss on the cat.

>>30068360
Take that, fucker.

>>30072363
I don't get why some of you are getting so upset over the idea of pissing on a cat. Do you have any idea how nasty and toxic cat urine is in comparison to human urine? Also do you have any idea the nasty things that cats put in their mouths on a regular basis? The worst it'll do is humiliate the cat, and with any hope it'll get the idea that it's not the dominant lifeform in the house and it'll keep it's place.

>>30068636
It kinda looks like you're sucker-punching the shit out of that cat

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>>30068775
>>say my name
>>meow
>>you're god damn right

>>30072088
>they are worthy adversaries.
No adversary you could literally starve to death by keeping in your home is to be considered "worthy".
They're fucking pets and I don't know why people who own them seem them as anything but.
All "cat problems" occur because the owner humanizes them.

>>30069336
You don't; cats do. No, it isn't leukemia, but it is a virus that will cause leukemia almost guaranteed. Sort of like how women can't get cervical cancer from sexual partners, but they can get HPV from partners which will greatly increase the chances of getting cervical cancer. Sort of - I'm not a biologist.

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>>30067710
>He was probably pissing on your weights cause hes laughing at you for having baby weight.
10/10

>>30068673
>>30068775
I'm fucking dying please help

>>30067710
>negative reinforcement

Are you literally retarded? Pissing on it would be positive punishment.
Do you even Psychology, bro?

I remember my cat pissing on my computer once when I was 14. Got so fucking angry that I took the cat, wiped it in its own piss and then dragged it to the backyard where I punted it 10m away like an old football.

Fucking cats man, never again.

OP I thought it was funny.

Then again I dislike cats. So i dunno.

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>>30069814
oh Jesus

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> not earning your cats trust naturally
I think you might have an ugly soul OP
Pic related was feral and I just talked with him and hes now like glue to me

Idk the last time I laughed out loud this much at a thread on 4chan or anything on the internet for that matter

Thankyou

>>30067364
>pets
your house must stink like piss, disgusting.

>>30067595

Other things you can do to establish dominance over the cat are booping his nose, and carrying him around by the scruff of his neck.

The former should be a medium tap, quick enough to dodge his retaliating swipe. For the latter, just get a grip of the fur that covers his neck and shoulders, and carry him outside. Normally you'd support the cat's lower body while doing this, but he's a dick - teach him like mama cat would. He'll probably fight you, just hang on and hold him at arm's length until he's outside.

>>30072946
they say adult cats can be injured by doing that.

>>30072946
>He'll probably fight you
Shouldn't be able to if scruffed properly, more or less paralyzes them harmlessly -- and they know it, and it's humbling to them to say the least.

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>>30068039
what the fuck

what the fuck is wrong with that cat, guy

i can see the hate coming out from it

>>30068039
dude, your cat is fucking possessed. Be happy with the piss, that cat will fuck you up.

>>30067364
Piss on his stuff

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>OP back from work, what's up faggot's?
>>30068552
no he's not wearing lipstick, his bottom teeth stick out on top of his lips like a reverse saber tooth tiger
>>30068798
lol
>>30072311
>>30068975
>>30069160
nigger probably though he was going to die and was going all out, even shat himself when i had him cornered
>>30072933
np bro

pic related he's sleeping on my dad and still alive and not peed on, I didn't have time before I had to leave to work

>>30068636
holy shit bro your cat is ugly af

Cats confirmed for shit tier animals

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cat dominance thread?

>>30073230
he looks like a feral qt tbh

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>>30073266
ayy lmao here's a good pic of his teeth form when we weren't mortal enemies

>>30073536
I didn't know orcs fucked cats

>>30067364
>Wat do?
Move the fuck out. Done. Jesus, kid, grow the fuck up.

>>30073536
That cat is definitely retarded

>>30073536

what in the actual fuck

>>30073576
>>30069412
I'm 19, living in my parents basement, while going to school. Financially it's the best option because my university is a 15 min drive from my house so it make's no sense to move out. I also have a job and put a large amount of it towards my tuition so fuck off

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>>30073559
>Orcs
not
>Orks
Confirmed for never gonna WAAAAGH!!!!

>>30067364
Dude if you live with your parents you aren't alpha lmao

>>30073692
Then stop bitching. If your parents are putting you up, then you put up with whatever THEY allow in THEIR house.

I mean, goddamn, you've got the time to bitch about it, and the money to rig a semi-decent home gym, but don't have the time or money to get a fucking dorm room? Or are you going to some "school" that doesn't have housing, like ITT tech?

>>30073703


>confirmed for never played WHFB

I'm sorry your brain is so under-developed you need the game to be over in half the time and with less rules to be able to enjoy it. At least when you grow up you'll have gotten enough painting experience this time won't have been completely wasted.

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>>30073707
that feel

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>>30073745
I've played both fantasy and 40k. Prefer 40k for one major reason, I can find people to play with. Seriously, nobody fucking plays fantasy. And both are still orks.

>>30073717
Why would I spend thousands of dollars a year to live in a dorm or apartment when I can live at home for free? My parent's aren't rich and neither am I so why waste all of that money

>>30073779

No, they're orcs in fantasy. The attitude is much the same but like a lot of stuff in 40k they got a name change in the transition.

>>30073782
Then stop bitching. You aren't willing to pay the money or put in the effort to better your position, then fucking deal with the cat.

>Not having 3 or 4 friends to split an apartment
>Not renting a room from someone

Yeah, at least we believe you when you say you're 19, you sound like a fucking child.

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>>30068775

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>>30068039

>>30073536
That's fucking awesome. What's his name?

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>>30073779


ayy lmao

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>>30067869
do like everyone said and bat that motherfucker around, hard. but not hard enough to kill him. i did it to my cat and he learned quick who the big dog in the house was.

>>30068852
I can tell you've never had a cat b4 m8

>>30073703
an Orc / Ork autismo

>>30073856
He doesn't really have a name. My sister's have changed it multiple times but I think it's current;y "kitten". I know wtf but it's not my call

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My catbro

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>>30074122


you mean an... orctismo?

>>30072495
>try to starve him in your home
>he slashes your throat while you're sleeping and eats your 80 pound corpse for the next few weeks, and by then someone should have came in and opened the door for his escape

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r8 my cat /fit/

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>>30067880
>>30067943
Giggling my ass off here thanks

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I'm 100% with you OP.
My faggot cat, fucking hell. He once bit my face, and when I stood up didnt let go. He made me look like I was from the fucking 3 stooges, what am I? An idiot? Why does he try to belittle me.
He meows at the fucking front door every single morning, next to my room, when the faggot has a fucking cat door. But he meows and meows. I have to make barking noises and chase him away for him to shutup.
The worst part is, when im taking a shit he bangs on the door, meowing. wanting to come in. I hate my cat, i haven't touched it in ages, but all thats happened is that he now follows me everywhere, when I think we're warming up, he goes under my blanket, snuggles up. then starts biting me.
I'm so fucking done, thanks for the thread op. I used to put blankets on him and see if he was intelligent by timing how long it took him to get out, im gonna do the neck thing. thanks op so much.

>pic related. faggot cat

>>30075047
>handlebar mustache whiskers
>unkempt body hair
>lazy eye

2/10 would not pet

>>30075637
:^( anon pls no

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>>30067364
Fuck this thread. Post your cats.

>>30067827
Have you an animal hunt and kill another animal? It's not even cruel, it's just sociopathic, a complete disregard for the pain felt by the prey. A lot of the time they won't even wait for the animal to die before they start eating it.

>>30072873

This mean speaks the truth. You need to show that cat some love man and not be mean to it.

Feed it, pet it, talk nicely to it. It'll come around. Cats are smart and acting aggressively towards it is only going to escalate things.

>>30073536

hahaha cute man. show that guy some love

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>>30075706

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Dante, my catbro. He's chill as fuck. Named after the dead greasy Italian who wrote The Inferno. Not the negro football player and not the goddamn vidya faggot.

>>30074196
In real life:
>cat tries to slash your throat while you sleep
>accomplishes almost nothing because his claws are about as lethal as a thumbtack
>you wake up, scruff him, and lock him in the bathroom
>that's where he stays for the rest of the night, because that stupid fuck can't work doorknobs

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>>30068191
This is the truth. You should just accept your position as the omega male and prostate yourself before the cat. The he'll know you know your place and leaves you alone.

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>>30076286
>Prostate

Prostrate*

Mein seids.

>>30076286
>prostate
I feel like this is a more extreme submission than originally envisaged

>>30068775
toppest of keks

excellent thread

>>30067943
>>30067970
fucking kek

Accept your place as beta and let the cat cuck you. Watch as your oneitis finds it cuter than you and jerks it off while he plays with her pussy while giving you evil looks. For added cuckness sit in the corner wearing a gimp mask.

>>30076863
i support this post

>>30067364
Just kick it across the fucking room whenever it's in the vicinity of your belonging.

>>30068039
damn dude thats one pissed angry cat.

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>>30068775

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Muh kitten.

10/10
top quality thread

>>30073230
Don't think you've established dominance yet faggot. That cat is just plotting his revenge for now.

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My cat bro , qt as fuck , he had the flu last week , you can see his nose dripping :^)

>>30067364
Ask >>>/an/, they'd probably know better what to do in your situation.
And tell you whether >>30067595 was a horrible idea or not.

>>30068775
toppest of keks

>>30074142
cute

>>30075392
>I have to make barking noises
kek, you're a faggot

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I miss him

hold me, /fit/ ;_;

>>30077334
You cat could have been my cats twin.

>>30075839

>>30067364
OP you gotta catch him doing it and fucking freak the fuck out. Run after him roaring and when you catch him, grab him by the neck, and holding him up by it take him to the weight room and press his face in the pee, then push him off out of the door violently, but without hurting him.

Whenever he goes near the weight room or near the weights, raise your voice and stare at him.

>>30077267
He looks so.. wise.

>>30067817
Lmao

>>30077267
that fur is so majestic

>>30067364
>I'm the top alpha
>living with my parents

>>30077347
they do look pretty a like.

bengal?

>>30077363
>>30077377
He looks like an old Japanese sensei when I pull his ears back , literally cutest cat I've ever owned.

>>30077417
pull his ears and take a photo. I really need to see that

>>30077267
god damn, what breed of cat is that

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>>30077439
Himalayan , they're cuddly as fuck , something special with mine though , his eyes are always dilated , looks like he's tripping balls , qt 3.142

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>>30077430
I'm not at home right now , if the thread is still up by the time I'm home I'll post a pic , he sleeps in weird ass positions and he literally cuddles , he hugs you with his arms.

>>30077897
Lol he's so utterly confused

>>30073804
>rent
>empowering the property jew

Can't remember the last time I laughed like this. Never change /fit/

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my 15yo cat :^)

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>>30068360
now you shoot it

>>30067710

>lost my cat the other week, decide to put up fliers
>never really gave the cat a name, always alternate between different names
>call him sport, dickhead, cunt, faggot, homo etc

Cats don't respond to names anyway, on the flier it just said

>missing
>responds to food, won't respond to name as he is a cat

Got him back the next day.

>>30067595
Here's how this will go:

>OP grabs cat by the neck
>cat swats at OP's arm
>OP flinches and lets go
>cat jumps on OP's face and pisses in his mouth
>OP cries
>cat does some squats with OP's cat-sized weights

>>30069316
Holy fuck

>This fucking thread

many of keks thx

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>>30077897
>dat vascularization

>>30078210
that is one ugly motherfucker

>having a shit rat shitting and pissing all over your house

Why do you have pets?

>>30073804
you are retarded and probably have a bad relationship with your parents, congratulations

>>30067364
Personally I'd snatch the bag, but it in a bag and drown that piece of shit

cats belong to barns/ships/whatever to hunt mice. Anyone who keeps cat as a house pet is utter idiot

>>30079143
>the cat*

fucks sake. But I have to admit that cats redeeming feature is that they're not the worst possible pet someone might have.

>>30068428
poe/10

My cat is an alpha. He kills ground miles and mice erry day. I've seen him eat a huge mouse in under twenty second.

Then he comes to my room at night for some cuddlan

>>30073804
>put yourself in a better position
>needlessly spending hundreds of extra dollars a month feeding money to property jews and gentrifying neighborhoods, forcing poor people to move out so their apartments can be bulldozed to make nicer, more expensive ones that fund the jewish agenda

do you even go to school you fucking knuckle dragging imbecile. It's enough work trying to work a job and pay tuition while going to school but working enough for rent and tuition while having classes? You're a stupid faggot

>>30079217
It's not fucking hard.

>Work 20 hours a week
>Enough to pay for rent and groceries with enough left over
>Time to study and go to school
>Work full time in summer, make enough to pay off tuition completely, repeat

>"Hurr durr property Jews

You're retarded.

>>30075392
>I used to put blankets on him and see if he was intelligent by timing how long it took him to get out
more than you, it seems

>>30079257
>pay rent on 20 hours a week
What liberal welfare country you live in? Sweden?

I work 60 hrs a week and half my pay goes to the landlord jew. Rent is the biggest fucking waste of money ever. Youre paying someone else just for existing

>>30079289
>Rent is the biggest fucking waste of money ever. Youre paying someone else just for existing
>Youre paying someone else just for existing
>just for existing
Try for living in his house. If you don't like it, get your own house.
>but it's too expensive!
that's why there's rent, retard.

>>30079289
>"Hurr you live in a liberal welfare country"
>"I shouldn't need to pay to live somewhere"

I work in Canada. I make $12 an hour, and rent is $575 per month. So after rent, and after cell phone bills, I have ~$300 in free money for the month. Most of that goes to food, depending on how well I've budgeted (buying food in bulk and cooking everything, vs. going out with friends, buying junk food, takeout, etc.).

I'm not living in luxury, for sure. But I don't like having tons of non-essential shit anyway. I get by, and I'm comfortable.

>>30077897
>Hold on Fluffy, I've got to take a funny picture for 4chan!

You're like those autistic kids from elementary school who abuse their pets when their friends are over because they think they look cool.

>>30079329
Thats 575$ you could have spent elsewhere like not living on the poverty line if you lived with you're parents

>>30079329
So basically you have zero savings is living hand to mouth
enjoy being a wage slave until you die

>>30079309
Im not just paying for my space in his house. Im giving him profit off the fact that i have no place to live otherwise. Hes literally exploiting me for being a poorfuck

>>30079418
I could have lived at home, if I wanted to be a huge manchild who didn't go to university.

>>30079431
I've got 6K saved up in the bank, no debt. I live poverty-tier because I enjoy the challenge, and I don't see having a lot of "stuff" as being important.

Also, applying to med school soon, so no plans of being a wage slave :^)

>>30067710
nigga hitting or kicking a cat hurts it
pissing on it makes it uncomfortable at best

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My cat and a bunch of albuterol from when /fit/ thought it was the new cutting wonderdrug.

>>30079445
Oh no, how does anyone actually dare to make money out of a service he offers. Can't he just live off good will?

>>30079465
Having to work for a living makes you a wageslave, dumbass

>put cat in cage
>put cage in bath
>fill halfway with cold water and wash the weights while cat watches
>no more piss

>>30079496
>renting out your house
>a service

>>30079465

Doctors can be wage slaves too you know. I bet they are actually more often wage slaves. If you have to work you're a wage slave. 6 figure student loans, nice house, and nice car usually leads you to working to pay for those things. A poor person can be financially independent on 300k.

>>30079465
You're a retard, i do go to university, second year of environmental science

go to local zoo or whatever, speak to lion keeper, tell him you want a big bag of lion shit.

spread it all around your garden, let the cat see you doing it, even toss some his way

stand back for the lolz

shit will be cash !!!

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Post more cats

>>30079763
D-Does that actually work?