Do moms have any fucking idea how uncomfortable they make everyone

>>30007738
My mom says for me to flex during social occassions (oL_o)

yeah I'm pretty paranoid that all the females in my family now want the D
is it weird for aunts to slap your ass?

>>30007829
DO they actually want the dick or are they just clueless about how their behavior comes across?

>is it weird for aunts to slap your ass?
Yes. It is made more or less weird depending on her personality.

>>30007829
I N C E S T
N
C
E
S
T

Sometimes filial piety means the D, anon.

>>30007738

Uncles hate me, Dad wishes to be me.

>>30007765
A DYEL friend of my dad did the whole "hurr durr lets comparatively flex and see who is bigger" thing to me while I was making my dinner. Fucking insecure midlife crisis asshole.

My mom won't let me eat more than on chicken breast in a meal it's like she fucking hates me omg

Its the opposite for me. My mom only complains that i got too big. When theres a family gathering she only mentions the absurd amount of food i eat daily.

I guess if youre embarrased do what i did, go all out bearmode.

>>30007738
mum*

>>30009732
limey pls bugger off innit

>>30009719
>mum: "don't get too big . . ."
>me: "I'm natty . . I'm not gonna get really big unless I start smashing the jooce . . ffs mum, DYEL ?"

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>>30007738
exactly why i wear sweats and baggy clothes at home all the time. If I ever go out with her, I'll be wearing a jacket or baggy clothes still. Don't care if I look ugly as fuck

Mom: anon take off your shirt!!! Show us your broad shoulders!!

>n-no mom pls...sthap

>>30009867
hahahaha that sounds so fucked.

>>30009867
>tfw great shoulder genetics
>tfw can't afford to lift

>just got off my first shift at a formal clothing store
>at Walmart finding long sleeve undershirts
>wearing my nice Danier leather bomber jacket w/ a scarf, hair slicked and in an upcut
>run into a neighbour/mom of a childhood friend
>she's out with her daughter and her daughter's friends
>"Oh hey anon! You're dressed well, what's the occasion?"
>"Got a new job, I have to dress like this"
>"You look hot!"
>her daughter/daughter's friends visibly cringe behind her
>"Aha thank you! Appearance is important in sales, you know that."
>"You should be a model or something"
>continue small talk for another few short moments before breaking off and saying goodbye

I can't believe I didn't 'sperg out. Seeing the other people cringe probably gave me the confidence to continue calm and cool. Fuckin embarrassing for them, tho.

>>30007829
>My older cousin use to grab my ass all the time
>Her daughter wanted my dick

>>30009894
It used to happen a lot. Not so much anymore. This happened mostly Before I even fucking lifted. Now I do lift and have great aesthetics and she is not giving me the chance to show off muh gains

>>30009912
She was embarassed because she realised her mom was right.

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>>30009967
oh stahp it, don't feed my ego I'm already all keyed up

come to think of it, I've been getting a lot of "Why aren't you a model, anon?" comments lately (FYI soccermom1966, I'm not a model because my agency is shit). Feelsgoodman, but I don't know how to properly take a compliment. I always throw a string of compliments back at them even though I know not to.
/cocaine

>>30007738
Mom tells everyone to look at my butt. "Look, it's so round! It's cute!"

P-please mom...

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>Started lifting when I was 16
>I remember benching 140lbs the first time
>My like all moms was proud
>Mom died a few years later
>Didn't start lifting again till this year
>Doing 250lbs
>She's not around to see

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> Anon pull your pants down and show your aunts how big your penis is, they don't believe me
o-okay mum

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>>30010035

I had a dream where my mom died, I was really upset that I didn't call her more often. I should call more often.

>>30010052
do it before shes gone m8

>>30009850
You're a real human bean anon

It's extra fucked because it's my 84 year old grandma

>eating fucking christmas dinner
>anon you're young i bet you wake up with an erection every morning
>uhhhh i guess
>entire family and extended family cringes

later in the evening

>anon has been dating that asian gal for awhile now
>she's only with him because he's a big white man
>nah grandma we love each other
>you've probably got the biggest willy she's ever seen

there is seriously something wrong with her. on one had i fucking hate her for constantly embarrassing me, but on the other hand i weirdly respect just how much she doesn't give a fuck.

>>30010052
Guys, talk to your parents.

>>30010082

your granny sounds based as fuck.

>>30010082
>you've probably got the biggest willy she's ever seen
Kek'd mightily.

Some old ladies just don't give a fuck and purposely IRL troll people/embarrass family members because it's funny and they can get away with it.
Don't fuck with grannies.

>>30010082
Kekd

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>>30010082
>nah grandma we love each other
>you've probably got the biggest willy she's ever seen

>>30007829

>Get the feeling some my aunties want my D
>Their daughters don't give me a second glance

Fuck this shit.

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>>30010082
I've got a couple stories of older moms being awkward and aggressive
>at the drive-in theater w/ my sex-obsessed asperger's buddy (let's call him asp-bud)
>Overweight (but in a nice, fluffy, Ms. Claus way) mom chirps asp-bud's car
>we walk over and chat as we light the cigars he brought
>she has two qt daughters with her, she introduces everyone
>chat for 20 minutes
>buddy goes back to the car for something
>I make conversation with mum because she's really awesome, actually
>it's her birthday, 56th I think
>Makes some sort of joke about AIDS, I don't remember
>she asks for a birthday hug
>I'm so down, she's charmed me enough
>we hug and she grabs my ass
>I flinch in surprise but(t) let it happen
>"Oooh you have lovely cheeks! Girls, we're calling him Mr. Nicebum"
>not even kidding
>girls laugh, older qt says "and this is why I can't keep a boyfriend"
>mum and I talk about her motorcycles for a while
>girls invite me into the van for chips
>I go lay down in the back with them (chips were BBQ but I couldn't care less at this point)
>older girl's friend comes by (also a qt), they introduce me as "Mr. Nicebuns"
>thisiswhatheavenfeelslike.webm
>buddy comes over and quickly makes things awkward and creepy with the younger sister
>we go back to the car
>mom comes and says "Hi" 3x during the movies to chat and share her cigarettes and snacks (I was smoking Paul Maul Bold at the time, she was giving me DuMaurier Specials)
Coolest mom ever, that wasn't even awkward

>sitting on the back porch with mom and other neighbours
>neighbours are all 60+
>one of them comments on how good looking I am
>"Haha thanks ya'll"
>more chime in to say they agree
>"OOoooh Looks like all the cougars on the street dig yah. I think I'm a little old for a cougar, what do they call ladies my age?"
>"Grey Foxes"
>They laugh and say they should be silver foxes instead
Awkwaaaarrd

Sorry for the long post, I'm stoned and as I've already mention many times already, im also on cocaine

>>30010164
>Didnt end with sex

beta

>>30007963
>DO they actually want the dick or are they just clueless about how their behavior comes across?

Are you really this naive? They are grown adult women, they know exactly what they are doing. If this thought has crossed your mind take for granted it has crossed theirs.

any asian bros in here? it's normal for asian moms to swat their kids butts randomly (really it is), but lately since i've started lifting my mom's been having way too much fun with it and even squeezed it a couple times. feels weird man

>>30010195
>any asian bros in here? it's normal for asian moms to swat their kids butts randomly (really it is),
Vietnamese here.

No it's fucking not.

>>30010204
>Vietnamese.
>niggers of asia

>>30010195
if your mom hot

ask her for help beating off

>>30010082
Dude she's just fucking with you because it's probably the most fun thing she can do after being alive for so long.

When I'm old as fuck I'll probably start saying stupid shit all the time too because no ones allowed to call you out on it out of respect.

It's like my 70 year old pedo neighbor who talks about all the tight asses over at the local middle school and makes totally nonsensical innuendo expressions that don't mean anything and call me Norman even though it's nowhere near my actual name.

>Hey Norman! You gotta check out these tight asses at the gym, boy when I was your age I was chasing them up and down the street with two popsicle sticks

>>30010195
I'm Chinese and this is definitely not normal what the fuck

>>30010204
Idk about viets but it seems pretty common among chinese and koreans. it's just like if ur in the kitchen washing an apple or something your mom might walk past and absent mindedly swat your butt. just sort of acknowledging you're there i guess? anyways it's weird now bc she's not doing it absent mindedly.

>>30010184
She was very unattractive, physically.

>>30010213
Phillipinos are the niggers of Asia

>>30010342
Go further down south m9

>Tfw my mom and dad are so insistent that I look like a god they never notice
>Tfw less than 10% bf, 5'7 (Manlet I know) ,12 stone and ripped and they don't bat an eyelid
Such is life in a übermensch family (except for height)

>>30010195
White guy here, although I can confirm my mum does it but squeezing? Wtf man

>>30009691
>UNCLES HATE HIM

>>30010260
>Hey Norman! You gotta check out these tight asses at the gym, boy when I was your age I was chasing them up and down the street with two popsicle sticks

kek

>>30010082
might be some form of dementia/memory deterioration

>>30010082
fucking shit my sides

>>30010445
>1 QUICK MUSHROOM TIP AUNTS LOVE

>>30010195
Taiwanese here, you shud call cps

>>30010385
I smell pillipino glapglapglaptagalogalalp

>>30010082
Holy shit that's hilarious.

My mom constantly gropes my butt.
What to do /fit/?

>>30009905
Lift your lazy ass up and go find a job, jeez.

>>30010260
>I was chasing them up and down the street with two popsicle sticks

That wasn't innuendo, I think he was trying to lure little girls using popscicles.

Or he had a dual-penis.

>>30010195
Nip here

That's not normal. That was never normal. You only think it's normal because she has been grooming you to be her incest slave.

>>30010082
My grandma asked me if i was using condoms this morning, and warned me of the dangers of sypylis and gonorhea

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My mom gropes my butt and says, "What a cute little bubble butt you have."

I have 5 sisters, and she then insists that they come over and feel it.

She also was talking to me about how she has to double sports bra her boobs when she jogs. She pulled me back to her and my dad's room to show me what her new bras looked like on her.

I was so weirded out, but acted excited for her. I just... don't know. I always catch her mirin' when she thinks I'm not looking.

>pic related

>>30011158
Hit it

>>30010082
based g'ma

>>30011174
No. I won't allow my mother to become a gains goblin.

>>30011158
really sounds like she wants the D.

maybe you should get caught jacking off while sniffing her panties and see where it takes you like I saw on this documentary on the internet

>>30011158
Post picture of your mom

>>30011158
if it were your aunt, cousin, or stepsister I'd say to go and fok her

But in this case I dont approve

>>30011195
I don't want to bang her.

>>30011205
>posting maternal pictures on a croatian lobster dining etiquette exchange

>>30011221
Thank you.

I'm pretty sure my sister who is a year and a half older than me has caught a bug. She always mires, and always comes and sits uncomfortably close to me on the couch/one person chair.

>>30011158
Jesus Fucking Christ..... This is the kind of shit pornographers get their inspiration from.... what the hell is wrong with that hag mother of yours?

>>30011288
he is hotter and younger than his father and also the former doesnt bang her anymore. Sex-deprived women can be perverted too anon

>>30011288
I look like my dad when they first started dating. He lifted too, but I have maybe 10lbs of LBM on what he did.

>>30011311
That's pretty much it. Our family has always been very open, no closed-doors, etc...

I can remember being a kid and taking showers with either one of my parents. I remember them walking around their room naked while I was in there.

My parents are pretty chill.

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>>30007738
My uncles fiance got drunk and talked about fondling my balls once.

>>30010955
fucking lel

>>30010082
>not taking grans comments in your stride

>>30011158
>>30011221
>>30011174
>>30011236
>>30011288
its like people in this thread doesn't know how to interact with woman.

Its rare that family members actually want sex, its like having a hot friend that you dont want to bang, its just fun to be close to someone hot in a almost but not quite sexual way. Kind of showing 'yae, im this intimate with a hot person, thus my worth is getting higher' kind of thing.

I grew up with a very open family, first person I kissed was my cousin, see my sister naked every night when she gets out of the shower, slept in the same bed naked with my mother every now and then till I was 18, and so on. And its always fun when out in public to be close to the hot females in my family to show of to to thers (since they dont know were family), example; my cousin always hugs me from behind and puts her head on my shoulder to read what I am reading, my sister always walks holding onto my arm, my mother (who looks very young, while I look alder so people think were going out a lot) sits on my lap a lot, and so on.

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>>30009841
Dubs confirm truth.

>REQUESTING DUBS

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>>30010052
>>30010029
>>30010075
>>30010086
Anons, I guess we're all not that ready for this kind of feels.

Please remember that your parents - under the premise they are 'good' ones - love you and you are the world to them.

Keep your feels in check and their's too.

>REQUESTING DUBS

>>30011453
B O N E Z O N E
O
N
E
Z
O
N
E

>>30011453
>I grew up with a very open family,
>first person I kissed was my cousin,
>see my sister naked every night when she gets out of the shower,
>slept in the same bed naked with my mother every now and then till I was 18
>my sister always walks holding onto my arm,
>my mother (who looks very young, while I look alder so people think were going out a lot) sits on my lap a lot, and so on.

The fuck, your family is not open; it is downright incestous. Fucking is the only thing that is missing there and it is because you are too much of a pussy to make the moves.

>>30011453
You have some mental problems anon.

Please get checked.

Don't lie to yourself that you grew up in a safe environment.

After all...nobody wants to remember traumas, eh?

>>30009719
Somewhat other way around, because i first started with a cut, and i lost 15 kgs, and ever since she has never missed an opportunity to comment on how unhealthy and anorexic i am. (I'm not, i could still lower my bf% some more)

I don't think she would mind if i would bulk tho, which i kinda am now

>>30011477
Checked

>>30011511
Nice dubs anon.

>dubs are truth
>dubs are love
>dubs are life

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>>30011453
It's okay now anon. We are all natty and homo here. There's nothing to be afraid of. Now show me on this doll where your parents touched you.

Pic related, don't be shy now.

>>30011531
Made me kekkel.

>>30011511
>>30011477
>>30011311
>>30011288
>>30010955
>>30010944
>>30010444
>>30010322
>>30010188
>>30010077
>itt: dubs

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>>30011453
Happens.
People thought my sister and i were a couple whenever we went on a family vacation, because holding hands and such. It was good.
We also made out at one point (when we were like 12) because of curiosity.
I've also seen everyone naked, for example if they changed and i was still talking to them i would not leave. Dad was a soldier and picked on us otherwise cuz "in the military you all shower together and naked, ain't nothing wrong with that". We also were naked in the sauna a lot of times.
People are really afraid of incest and the likes but it's not like that at all. Fuck, you practically can't hug your sister nowadays because it's incest? Wtf. Showing intimacy is not a bad thing.

>>30011453
Your family is Sigmund Freuds wet dream.... there is nothing normal or "natural" about that.... there should be definite and clear cut boundaries...

I'm sure your family would have no qualms with outright fucking so long as you don't cum inside of them

>>30011562
>I'm sure your family would have no qualms with outright fucking so long as you don't cum inside of them

Fuck that, they wouldnt even protest if they were in birth control.

>>30011554
Nothing wrong with hugging and kissing family. Hell my family is affectionate that way (I suppose it's a yuropoor thing..) but there is no way in HELL I'd ever sauna with a member of my family without atleast a towel covering the important parts

>>30011568
Ayyy lmao

>>30011571
Exactly my point. Nothing wrong with hugging and kissing and cuddling naked in the bed with family.

>>30009841
Kek

>>30011589
No mate... there is everything wrong with the naked in bed part you incestuous fuck...

Hugging, kissing etc? That's fine. The naked part is strictly for couples only

>>30011589
I know right? what could be wrong about wanting to stick your penis in your sister's vagina or mouth?

It is only natural

>>30010260
HAHAHAHAHAhah. I hope this is me when I get older

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>>30011589
Okay anon.. I see you weren't comfortable with the robot I gave you. Now.. Here is Mr Happy Bird. Show me on this bird where your parents touched you. It's okay, you're safe here. Just show us.

Don't be shy, he's a happy bird.

>>30011624
damn, this place is really getting into my head.

The first thing that came to my mind that I associated with touching the bird was a gif where a man witha beard is licking a chicken's asshole and the chicken seems to be enjoying it.

>>30011495
What the fuck is
>Yunny Versace?
I hope that's not somebody's name

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>>30011552

>>30011642
Dude....? :(((

Strong neckbeard incest fantasies in this thread.

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>>30011511
My fucking face when you have dubs all over the place

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Thank god my mom aint some weird incestious thirsty slut.

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>>30011642
Was the chicken natty?

>>30011701
Mfw when my face and head looks exactly like this

>>30011715

>>30009719
My mom is the same and thought I was juicing. She also told me about the dangers of taking protein. Kek

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>>30011701
That's because you are ugly anon

>>30011642
If you browse /fit/ stay away from the Misc or you'll never be able to improve yourself.

>>30011730
Nope, I just have a mother who doesn't have mental problems.

>l-lol, u-ur mom doesn't feel you up? h-haha ugly!

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I got hit on by a lesbian (although I guess maybe Bi) couple at my dads funeral. Shit was so cash

>>30011453
I think what those guys think is weird is based on social norms they grew up with and youe family defines what's normal for you so thats why you don't fins it weird. As long as you guys legit don't want to fuck eachother there's nothing weird about it.

Living with my aunt for a year was the most disturbing and confusing time of my life. I have since stopped attending family meetings.

>Go to university in Amsterdam for a year because why not
>Mom urges me to live with her sister for the year since Amsterdam is heinously expensive
>Aunt is 12 years younger than my mom, lives alone
>Move in with her
>Apartment is tiny but gorgeous, I get a makeshift bedroom that literally fits a bed and a closet but the rest of the place looks like a small palace
>She's a total fitness buff, goes to the gym religiously
>Massively supportive of me working out and getting out of Auschwitz, cooks me heaps of healthy meals and lots of lean meat
>Aunt keeps awkwardly complimenting me on how big I've gotten, eyeing me, continuously asks me to lift and move heavy things
>At this point I think it's just my assburgers kicking in and seeing things
>She always insists on picking me up from the gym, because I am captain autismo and prefer working out at night when the gym is nice and quiet
>Don't shower in gym because it's full of actual homofags because lolamsterdam
>Car always smells like a sweatlodge because of me
>Apologize
>Says she likes it with a shit eating grin on her face
>whycantiholdallthisspaghetti.tiff

>After workout shower, about three months in living with her
>Turn off shower, start drying off
>She opens the door with her hands full of laundry
>Sees me, in shock, starts apologizing
>Her eyesare firmly locked onto my abs and chest
>She stands there for half a fucking minute not saying anything, like a deer staring into headlights
>I have absolutely no idea what the hell to do except cover myself up
>I finally manage to convey that she should get the hell out
>This routinely starts happening afterwards, with her needing to get things from the bathroom, one time she started filling up the tub while I was still under the shower

Shit just reached increasing levels of awkwardness, especially when she drank or had bad dates.

way too many family-member-ass-grabbing-stories here for my liking..

>>30011844
Bro... your post reminds me of the "nah m8. Double anal is totally not gay" pasta.

There are some things which are just OBJECTIVELY and universally wrong.. I don't care for personal beliefs, culture, upbringing etc. There are certain things which are just wrong... looking at your sister naked and sleeping naked with your mum are two of them.

>>30011982
make love to her

>>30011982
FHRITP

>>30009691
FIND OUT WHAT THIS MAN HAS LEARNED. UNCLES HATE HIM.

>>30010955
You live in Nipland? There right now and the first gym I went to had barbells only up to 45kg, wat/10

>>30012022
What's the P stand for? This could go many different ways...

>>30012009
>>30012022
I probably could have. One evening when we were drunk she told me my dad was the best lay she ever had.

She's hilarious, awkward, and either completely oblivious to the signals she was sending me or she just didn't give a shit.

>>30012082
Your aunt and your mother have both fucked your dad?

>keep it in the family

>>30012106
I don't know the timeline, so I don't know whether or not my parents were together yet or married, and it's the only time she ever mentioned it. My dad is a glorious asshole, though, so it wouldn't surprise me in the least, to be honest.

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>>30012121
Maybe you can continue your fathers legacy and fuck a pair of sisters

My mother used to always compliment my ass and grab, pinch and cup it whenever she got the chance. This happened pretty much all through my teen years, like 12-18, until I got sick of feeling awkward and embarrassed and told her to fuck off. She's never touched me since. Mothers shouldn't be doing that. I understand the desire for physical affection and "skinship", and I'd have been fine with hugs and whatnot, but she exclusively groped my goddamned backside all the time. Degenerate.

>>30010082
Your grandma sounds like an OG. Get close and learn from her while she's still around. That blunt honesty of her's can help you gain years of fucking experience.

>tfw my g-ma was like this and I didn't see how cool she was till she was dead.

>>30010204
>>30010213
muh sides lost'm

>>30012207
Every continent has their niggers.

Asia has Vietnam.
Europe has Albania
Africa has Africa
America has mexico
Australia+the pacific has new Zealand

This thread is turning me on.

Mums are idiots with no filter in their brain, as naive as they come, avoid at all costs

>>30011982
>Shit just reached increasing levels of awkwardness, especially when she drank or had bad dates.
>Shit just reached increasing levels of sexual tension, especially when she drank or had bad dates.

fix'd that for you anon.

>>30011982
More horrible experiences. The next one is pretty high on the oh god why list.

>To this day I still have no idea when she actually worked
>Always home when I happened to be home
>She remarks she's worried about me not going out since I am in college and everything eventhough she's home more than me and knows I'm an aspie hermit
>Explain to her that I don't know anyone in Amsterdam and I'm not much of a party guy
>She tells me I know her and there's no reason why we couldn't drink and relax
>Figured why not, she's good company
>Tries to get me drunk so that I'll talk about my more unsavoury experiences
>She draink faitly heavily
>Says there hasn't been a guy this well built in her place in years
>I cringe and smile, though in hindsight it probably looked like a grimace
>Blurts out all kinds of intimate details I did not need to know
>The things you cannot unhear are endless with this woman
>She professes she loves anal
>I don't like where this is going
>She asks if I love anal
>Tell her I don't swing that way
>We are not going places
>The train crashes in slow motion anyway
>She laughs and sits up on her knees on the couch
>I can't look away, the carnage and destruction is captivating in its gruesomeness
>Loudly slaps her own ass with a grin and says she meant fucking a girl up her ass
>Her exact words
>I nope it the hell out of there mumblings as I went
>Next morning she acts as if nothing happened

My mom is constantly touching me and slapping my ass. Should i be worried

>>30012165
GF only has a brother. She does have lots of cousins, though.

>>30012412
>>30011982
Is your aunt ugly anon? If not, what are you waiting for?

>>30012428
>>30012309

Another case for Professor Freud

>>30009702
and this is why I'd rather not spend christmas with my family

>>30010082
>>anon has been dating that asian gal for awhile now
>>she's only with him because he's a big white man
>>nah grandma we love each other
>>you've probably got the biggest willy she's ever seen
BAHAHAHAHAH,your granny is amazingly smart and witty at her age and also right

if my nephew were dating some fucking twig,moon-faced,limey asian i'd shit on him constantly and tell him to get himself a proper white girl then fuck ethnics after he has established a family

>>30012412
Call me conservative, but I sincerely hope this is all 4chinz fiction

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>>30012412
You're doing this on purpose aren't you? This is excruciating

>>30012412
my dick

>>30011624
t-they touched me on the... the bird?

>>30012412
>She professes she loves anal
>She asks if I love anal

nigger what is wrong with you? You could've had the chance to plow her in the ass on the reg.

Objectively how attractive is she out of 10?

>>30012423
I believe anon was implying that you should fuck your mother and aunt

>>30012428
No, she's very attractive and in good shape. But my mother's side of the family has very strong genes, they arr rook same. Oh, right, and she's my aunt, you degenerate.

>>30012470
I don't know what to tell you. People are crazy.

>>30012475
Doing what?

>>30012045
Guessing "pink"

>>30012470
you have never met an amsterdam woman these older women are fucking crazy. I bet his aunt is a prostitute thats why she is always home, she goes out and works the district while he's asleep

>>30012516
yeah, she has basically offered him the safest and hottest incestuous sex he could have possibly ever dreamt of, yet the only thing he manages to do is put on a smile.

>anon you got big
>too bad you can't have that kind of dedication with your uni though, why don't you use that amount of energy for some mental work instead
Rustles my jimmies every time

>>30012516
Solid 8. I would have ruined her ass if she was not related.

What's wrong with me is that she's my aunt.

>>30012547
Now you make it sound like I'm the one with the poor judgement.

I could go on with thehorrible anecdotes, I guess.

>>30012594
yes, please continue

>>30012594
If you have the time, no one will complain

>>30012594
more pls

>>30012594
I don't think my dick can take much more. Please continue.

>>30012594
Pls carry on. Sitting at my desk at work with a semi.

>>30011982
you fucking faggot. why havent you boned her silly yet?

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>>30010082

My fucking sides

>>30011158
>>30011236
>>30011844
Oh hi, medfag

>>30007829
No its not weird

>>30012594
>Solid 8.
Shoulda gone for it, make a surprise visit to Amsterdam and hit that ass all night.

Is your Mum or Dad's sister? i.e. blood related or married into the family?

>>30012412
Sorry, reception is ass here in the archives.

Most of the awkward or overtly sexual things weren't major events, but just little things that got worse and more unbearable over time.

>Claims most of these were due to her starting to finally feel comfortable with me living in the same house
>She started walking around at home in her yogapants and gym tank top
>Doing her yoga back curving, ass stretching in the living room when I was around, always giving me the full view
>Accidentally leaving the door to the bathroom open when she was in the bath or shower several times because she forgot I was home (This especially was total bullshit, because it gets freezing cold in the bathroom fast when the door is open and you're in the bath or shower.)

There's a few particularly bad conversations and runins I can write down, I guess.

>She started going to the gym when I was in class
>Said she it was so she could spend more time with her biggest nephew
>She would get home in her sweaty cardio bunny outfit with me already on the couch from class, prancing around
>She started showering at home instead of at the gym, saying all the teenage girls there made her feel bad about her body
>Being the idiot that I was I told her she had a great body
>She touched my arm and looked like she was going to eat me with a toothy grin that is still burned on my retina to this day
>"Oh anon have you been looking at my ass again?"
>Spaghetti everywhere
>I deny everything
>Her ass was in my face pretty much all fucking day
>Says it's ok, she always oggles my shoulders too, I can watch as much as I want when we're home, nobody here but us
>idon'tevenknowanymore.docx
>Her hand is still on my arm, squeezing it
>I winced when she squeezed it, flexing my muscles
>she bit her fucking lip
>I honestly don't even remember what I said to get away from her. I could feel her eyes burning on my back, though.

>>30012832
HOLY FUCKING SHIT JUST FUCK HER ALREADY YOU STUPID PRICK

DID YOU FUCKING HEAR ME?

PUT YOUR MASSIVE 2 INCH PEENOR INTO HER VAGOO

READING THIS SHIT AND THINKING HOW YOU MESSED IT ALL UP IS SO FUCKING FRUSTRATING


ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRG

>>30012832
what is really stopping you from pounding that ass anon? what are you afraid of?

By the way you are writing these posts it's clear that you also have the hots for her/are pretty horny.

>>30012832
FUCK HER
U
C
K

H
E
R

>>30009912
Awesome feels

>>30010029
Topkek

>>30012895
>>30012880
>>30012866
Because it's wrong?

And yes she is pretty banging, even now.

>>30010942
he just said he cant lift his lazy ass because he is poor

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>my internal face when my mom and my sister mire my gainz
i want to fuck my sister so bad.

>>30010444
Nice trips anon

>>30012422
Slap her ass too, just to her know what's going on

>>30010195
I could swear I read a doujin that went like this, though the son was more into it.

>>30012866
How the fuck would you even do this now? Hey so yeah you liked my shoulders a few years ago, maybe we should meet up for old time's sake. Do you still like anal?

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>>30011531
Sorry, I was away from the computer for a while due to my sister interfering with my alone time

pink shows where the people touched me before

You guys know any hot incest stories on Literotica?

This thread is giving me so many boners,

Anyone else leave incest porn all over the computer and hope your mother or sister will discover it?

Im pretty sure my sister has seen it and masturbated to one of the dojins. Dont know how to get to the next level though.

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>>30011453
Degeneracy: the post

>>30012832

I am rock fucking hard right now

This thread is the best shit I've read in a while, never change /fit/izens, feels good knwowing I'm not the only degenerate around

>>30012832
this cant be true

m-muh boner, sthap

>>30013068
>dad
lol

>>30013068
>want to make a joke about getting groped by your dad
>remembers that I actually do get my ass stroked everytime I walk behind him

>>30012832
YOU LITERALLY LIVE IN A FANTASY YOU FUCK

POST HER PICTURE, CROP OUT HER EYES IF YOU NEED TO I JUST NEED TO SEE

PLEASE POST MORE INCEST STORIES

>>30012832
Work is going fantastically boring. God bless classified archival work. I could probably go on all day.

>In bed studying for exams
>Aunt is out on a date
>Maybethingswillfinallybeokay
>Around one in the morning I hear a metallic noise, scratching
>Goes on for a few minutes
>Get a poorly written text from my aunt asking if I can open the door
>I open the door, she stumbles in blind drunk
>"key didn't fit"
>Says she her date stood her up but she didn't want to go home yet
>She can't walk straight on her high heels
>She tries to take them off, fails miserably
>I have to walk her to the couch, she clings onto me for dear life
>I ask her if she's ok
>She slowly starts crying, saying my mom always has all the luck with guys and she's left with nothing, she just wants a great guy like my dad
>ohboyherewego
>I awkwardly give her a half hug around her shoulder with one arm
>Instinctively she curls up completely against me, head and hand on my chest
>getitawayfromme.exe
>She stops sobbing
>I'm wearing boxers and a wife beater, she's wearing a cocktail dress
>Slowly involuntarily pop boner
>If she did notice she was too drunk to say anything
>She's finally quiet after a good 10 minutes or something, I assume she fell asleep
>I try to slowly get away from her to get a blanket or something
>She doesn't let go of me
>At all
>Still not sure if she's asleep or not
>Thank god for Functional Strength. I awkwardly stand up and start carrying her to her room
>"Oh anon you sure know how to treat a girl"
>Almost drop her in abject terror
>Walk her up to her bedroom anyway and put her down on the bed
>Next morning I wake up to the smell of pancakes
>She knows they're my favourite, with lots of bacon
>I look her in the eye
>She remembers. She remembers everything.
>The horror. The horror.

>>30013068
my fucking sides

>>30013490
THE
DICK
=
WHEN??????

>>30013490
DUDE I WOULD LITERALLY GIVE ANYTHING TO BE YOU

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU

SHE REALLY ISNT RELATED TO YOU DUDE

DO A FUCKING PUNNETT SQUARE IF UR SO UNSURE OF URSELF, THERE WILL BE LOWER CASE LETTERS AND SHIT I THINK I FORGET

FUCKING

R A I L
H E R
Y O U
S T U P I D
F U C K

WHEN DID U LIVE WITH HER? WHEN DID U STOP? WHATS THE FURTHEST IT WENT? DONT STOP POSTING YOU AUTISTIC FUCK

>>30013490
find that woman a man that is not related to you please she sounds great except the incest part

>>30013490
what I'd give to watch a romantic comedy about you 2
of course I see this ending in hardcore anal sex

>>30013490
its all a lie, but keep going

>>30013490
i didnt really go through the whole thread, but have you told your mom about this? i think it would only be best to let your mom know.

>>30009827
I'm English and that cracked me up, cheers matie

>tfw mom has cockblocked me from fucking 2 of her hot friends
>one was a massage therapist that would offer me free massages all the time, I was 17, had to get parental consent
>she got all red and would change the subject every time I ask about it
>her friend still makes comments on my fb pics

What do?

>>30013602
why?
so his aunt can get ostracized by her own family
she cant bag a guy and now you want to make her more alone by taking away her family?

jesus fucking christ>>30013490 I dont care what technology it takes im going into your fucking story and slapping the fucking shit out of you for not fucking your aunt

>>30013618
talk to her in private or invite her to your room and get a free massage over there

>>30010082
Both grandmas are dead. Enjoy it while it lasts dude. Not connecting with my grandparents is one of my biggest regrets in life.

>>30010260
>>30010082
this is why I come to /fit/

>>30013602
Hey mom, your sister was basically railing on me while I lived with her. I thought I should tell you this to cause kinship strife and it would make for a good movie.

>>30013597
I really wish it was. There was something intensely depressing about her. Desperation and loneliness all packed into one wonderful neurotic package.

>>30013579
But anal sex isn't romantic anon-kun.

>>30013519
>>30013540
u wot m8.

I have to start commuting soon.

10/10 thread, I haven't laughed this hard in ages

>>30013490
I don't care if this shit isn't real
you better continue it
and you better fuck her

is this shit normal in europe?

>gf used to walk just in panties at home with her parents and 10 year old brother that seems like too pervert for his age
>says he wouldnt mind kissing her in the mouth but she doesnt want to
>took showers with him till some time ago
>walks home with just a shirt that you can see nips and boob outline(she has big boobs)
>slap each other ass
>brother comes into the bathroom when she's there even without asking


is this shit normal? I get sick and makes me want to break up knowing that she was walking home fucking NAKED and seing no wrong in it

at least she stopped

>>30013656
i somehow still keep hoping by your next story you finally fucked your aunt and you were just taking us for a ride

>>30011982
>>30012412
>>30012594
>>30012832
>>30013490

this definitely happened guys

ITT anon practices writing fapfiction.

>>30013716
if its fake he is really good tbh i want more

>>30013680
are you upset that her brother is giving her the D which makes you a cuck

>>30013490
I hate you. seriously go fuck yourself for not making every anon's dream come true.

I thought I was the only one. Thank you lord.

>>30013680
seems normal. why are you so american

>>30012462
True.

>>30013726
why is every board so obsessed with cucking

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>ANON SHOW THEM HOW STRONG YOUVE BECOME LIFT YOUR COUSIN OVER YOUR HEAD!
>cousin is 5ft 6 DYEL grill
>...o..okay
>clapping
>no.no..please leave me be
>TAKE YOUR SHIRT OF!
>nope
>"have to go to the bathroom"
>tfw stretch marks make you scared to show gains

I wouldn't fuck my sister or mother, but anyone else in the family, aunts, cousins, why not? There is no logical reason why you wouldn't, so long as you wear a condom you're golden, i'm just waiting for the chance, but my whole family is full of low level munters, some people are just lucky i guess.

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>>30013490
can we have pics of your aunt please?

>>30013658

so, /fit/ is full of pervs

>>30013926
4chan in general is full of pervs

>>30013490
In a bit of a rush now

>One of the inebriated thursday evenings
>Aunt asks why I never bring any girls over
>I say I don't really know a lot of girls
>I'm majoring in archival work, which most people find profoundly boring. It makes me happy, less interaction with people, heaps of cool shit to find
>She keeps bugging me about it
>She says I'm so built I could get any girl I wanted
>She walks up to me, pulls up my arm and bends it so that it looks like I'm flexing my bicep
>Smile uncomfortably
>Girls your age should be all over you
>Again giving me that warm smile that reminds me eerily too much of my mother when she was young
>She eggs me on to flex my arm
>I do
>She flushes red, didn't expect me to actually do it
>I pull my arm down, tell her I usually wear baggy clothes anyway so nobody really sees I'm in shape because I'm still ashamed of my body
>She says all I ever wear here is wife beaters and t-shirts, so I'm not that ashamed. She's glad she thinks I feel that comfortable around me
>She forgets to mention her house is always heated up to goddamn tropical temperatures, even in summer
>She asks if I'm not compensating for anything else, for shits and giggles
>I just stay quiet
>She jokingly says "No need to be ashamed, I'm not your mom, I don't kiss and tell."
>The look on her face was pretty priceless when she realized what she said, truth be told

Sorry have to cut it short, I'll be back later if the thread survives.

The feels when only child, no qt sisters to mire

>>30013936
the world is full of pervs, many are just in denial

>>30013941

Post picture of your body (no homo) I want to see what all the fuss is about, also why don't you fuck her with a condom, no harm no foul.

>>30013874
I might be able to fuck one of my cousins, but shes a retired gear user so shes fat now.

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>>30013941
>tfw these two young lovebirds will never be together
>OTP of the century
>aunt a best girl
>MC a dense shit

>>30013985

Better than nothing right?

>>30013966
This, i bet anon is dyel

>>30013994
well, i do have better options than her so, do you want her?

>>30010164
youre a faggot cuz you didnt fuck the mom

>>30014003

No I don't want your fat gear using cousin, sorry anon.

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>>30013986
At least MC isnt a skinny plain guy with no good qualities.

>>30014042
Is he using someone's back to get off?

>this thread

great thing i hate my mom

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>>30014104
unless your parents were abusive and at every point tried to bring you down both mentally and physically every chance they had...

>hating your parents
>pic related

>>30014104

Why do you hate your mother anon?

>>30013941
>>Again giving me that warm smile that reminds me eerily too much of my mother when she was young
Under the assumption this guy is genuine, then this line puts everything in context. I would completely be grossed out too.

>>30012045
"pussy" you faglord

>>30014104

I hated my Dad for a lot of my life, he died a week ago, i'm only 18, I kinda feel bad now, it's hard to appreciate how much your parents do for you and how much they give you, don't be foolish anon, unless you have legitimate reason (like your mom was a drunk that beat you and raped you) you should not hate your parents.

>>30014140
>>30014151
>>30014190
>found her cheating on my dad
>then found out my dad wasn't my real dad
>had me committed into psych ward for finding out, legal since i was under 18
>crashed car, took the insurance money from me and bought a car for herself

the list goes on

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>>30010082
Heads up, erratic behavior is an early sign of dementia/Alzheimer's.

Happened to my grandmother, m8. :/

>>30014267
That shit cray im sorry anon

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>sister is 16
>her little teenage friends are constantly around
>they come into my room and say "hiiiiiiii anoooooooon" before giggling and running away

>>30011982
>>30012412
>>30012832
>>30013490
>>30013941
Damn straight anon. If she got that vitamin D deficiency make her work for it. She ain't just gonna get it acting like a slut

>>30011712
>natty lickaroo

>>30010195
Indian here, the only slaps I get are in the face and on the back of my head.

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>>30012309
ME TOO :'(

>>30012463
>fuck ethnics after he has established a family
Degenerate

>tfw my female relatives are all fat and physically repulsive

>>30013618

are you still 17?

no?

go get a rub & tug ya dingus

>>30014473
T O P K E K
O
P
K
E
K

If i break this one, i'll just make another one

>>30013966
the aunt wants anal. theres no harm done there so i see why they would need a condom for that.

>>30014416
that picture is hilarious

>>30010164
>a 56 year old fatty grabbed my ass and gave me bbq chips
>this was the best day of my life

Anon-son, I youre so fit. What should I do to lose weight?

>what are you eating

Well I mean i eat (blahblahblah which amounts to that which should cause weight loss)

>you dont eat anything else? not at work?
(she works in a kitchen)

Well yeah I do snack. I just cant help myself from snacking

>Oh well that'll do it.


round and round we go on this merry-go-round

>>30015222
nice trips

>>30007829
post menopause? prolly some kind of biological thing knowwhatimean. incest sure, but not inbreeding.

>>30013941
I return to you now, at the turn of the tide.

Give me a minute to find my laptop.

>>30009905
>afford to lift

Excuses, If I can, so can you. Lift at home and buy your own things little by little or use bottles of water.

>>30012529
Post pic of aunt you homo.

>>30014155
Calm down.. my first thought was "pooper" so yes.. it could have literally gone both ways

>>30013540
It's 'is mums sister dick'ead

>>30015800
Swer on me mum

>>30015570
cmooooooooooooonnnnnnnn

>>30013941
I will regale with you now, one of the most disturbing songs of my people.

>Made it a point never to take a bath when my aunt was in the house for fear of her just barging in
>No locks anywhere inside the apartment other than the front door
>Seriously considered just bolting one onto the bathroom door
>Relaxing in a nice hot bath with mr duck while my aunt was gone
>Gone the entire day
>Stay in the bath for eternity and a day
>Time becomes an abstract concept
>Soap has vanished completely, skin on my fingers has wrinkled
>I have become one with the water
>Figured I might as well rub one out since the house was empty, which didn't happen an awful lot
>In the middle of me jerking off, hear the front door open
>No way to hide massive boner without getting out of the tub in case she just walks in unnanounced
>Try to get out of bath as quiet as possible, slowly rising inch by inch to get a towel
>Slip, fall back in bath.
>Produce a noisy thud and splash sound
>Aunt comes rushing in, worried about weird ass noises in her house
>My cock defiantly stands erect in the face of this disaster
>She honest to god walks over and pulls me out of the tub to see if I'm okay
>Her face was pretty much beat red and beaming once she notices my boner
>Cock won't go down
>She keeps looking at it from the corner of her eye
>I fumble my way out of the tub with her help, flailing about while trying to cover myself
>ask if she can just get me a fucking towel or get out
>She takes her sweet time to find one
>Finally hands me a towel
>Pitch a massive tent, hurry my way past her
>"Next time you're worried about me walking in just do it under the shower, it has a curtain"
>The shit eating grins, they haunt me. At night, in my dreams, I dream the grins are chasing me, down a deep dark tunnel.

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>>30016131

>>30016218
Feels weird as fuck to be writing this down, to be honest.

>>30016233
dinnae stop like plz

>>30011158
Delusional fagget.

>>30011158
Plot twist; OP tries it but turns out his mom wasn't into him, spilling his spaghetti.

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>>30007738
Reminds me of a family party when I was little. My aunt was complimenting my cousin on his gains so I yelled "GET A ROOM!"
>mfw forced to sit in the basement alone for rest of the party

>>30016243
Fine, I guess. None of these are in any particular order, I realize. Does anyone actually read this?

>I have suffered from depression for years now
>Going to the gym is a massive chore, seems nearly impossible
>No exaggeration that the reason I kept it up through that year in weird ass Amsterdam in that strange gym was because of my aunt continuously pushing me
>Always pushing me to do more, to lift more, to eat more
>Start talking about my fucked up wellbeing, how I pretty much just go to class, play bideogames and go to the gym
>It has her worried
>cue alcoholic beverages
>She tells me it's largely genetic. My grandma had severe depression, mom used to have it
>She still has it
>Ask her how she copes
>Says she doesn't. She just forces herself to do work just as she forces herself to the gym
>She tells me it's actually gotten a lot easier since I moved in, because she can cling on to me and focus on taking care of me
>It's always nice to have someone handsome to do the dishes for you
>I've pretty much gotten immune to her coy shit after months of it
>Tell her I should do it shirtless for added effect
>Silence as she actually fucking mills it over
>"Yes, you should"
>Puts her hand on my leg, tells me she's just joking
>"I'd do yoga without pants in return. Or make pancakes. I honestly don't know which you prefer."
>Awkwardly try to change the topic
>Ask her what living in Amsterdam for so long has been like, since our family comes from bumfuck, nowhere
>"It's lonely as hell"
>She lets out a fatigued sigh
>Feel bad for her, pour her a drink
>"At least you're here to fuck up my apartment for the time being"
>Tell her I'd give her a hug if she didn't look like my mom so much
>She jokinly agrees with me about not wanting to hug my mother, since she's a stuck up bitch
>I should practice with her instead

To this day I still do not know when she's kidding and when she's not. We pretty much whatsapp daily.

>>30016705
>Does anyone actually read this?
fapping hard brah

>>30007829

>tfw 65 year old brother in law's mom tells you that you "look fantastic" and obviously flirts with you

Why this feel?

>>30016705

Lurking, and trying not to think of my own aunts

They're all pretty old and horsey

>>30012169
My grandma feels me up whenever I visit

>tfw she's not glorious Seattle masterrace and lives halfway across the country
>tfw she's in her late 80s and undergoing surgery this week
>tfw haven't seen her in two years and may not see her alive again
>tfw just spoke to her over the phone yesterday

Value your grandmas fit.

>>30016131
>>30016705
You are by far the most socially retarded person i've ever seen on 4chan. I don't mean that to be THAT offensive.

But it's actually kind of incredible that i can read this after years on 4 chan and have it be the worst most awkward thing.

>>30016742
>>30016771
Ok, I'll keep going I guess.

>>30016928
Gee fucking whizz, it's my damn aunt you sperglord. My first instinct is to flirt, then my mind cathes up and starts spitting spaghetti everywhere.

Nobody seems to get that it'd be all kinds of fucked up and have tons of ramifications if he actually fucked his aunt. What's wrong with you guys?

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>>30016984

>>30016984

>staying cool all year long
>last night you're there have some sort of "good bye party"
>get her drunk
>fuck her

Can't see the problem, captain.

>>30017087
She looks alot like his mother.. would you actually get off to fucking a woman that looks like your mother?

>>30017175
Where do you think we are

>>30017214
lost it

>>30017175
you're right... they gotta look like their dad, this is /fit/ after all

>>30017214
Jesus Christ dude!!! Imagine a grill who looks like your mother... gazing deeply into your eyes as she has her lips wrapped around your cock with a vacuum seal...

That had better not arouse you...

The fucking oedipus complex I this thread

you niggas all stupid. Your daddy plowed your mummy. Because daddy liked mummy.

Now son has daddys genetics, so son also attracted to what daddy is, therefore, you can fuck a girl that looks like yo momma

>>30017383
Well I guess you can't beat that logic.

>yfw you have your mom's genetics too
>yfw you are attracted to what your dad is
>yfw you start banging dudes that look just like your dad, or even your dad himself

Oh wait, this is /fit/. I forgot.

>>30017421
lel

>>30017421
well I dont know if a homosex man would get his mums sexual attractions but I guess if you were gay that would work.


why do you think most women end up with men that have similar physical properties as their dad?

>>30010445
fuck I kek'd

>>30016705
HMS awkwardness, ahoy.

>Hurt back badly pulling wrong muscle, not even lifting related
>Am bedridden pretty much for what turned out was three days
>Could barely move
>Aunt is pretty concerned
>Brings me healthy food and everything
>Continuously asks how I'm doing
>Say I'm doing ok, I have my own personal maid
>She smirks says she has a uniform somewhere
>I'm in pretty bad pain whenever I move, don't really know what to do
>Aunt asks if I want a massage
>I agree to it
>"Ok I'll take off your shirt, try turning on your stomach"
>Hurts like a motherfucker
>She climbs on my legs, starts pouring fucking massage oil on my lower back
>Grabs my boxers, pulls them down
>Protest, back hurts like hell, can't do shit
>She tells me to calm down, she needs to reach all of my lower back
>"If you don't turn around I won't massage anything by accident"
>Starts massaging
>It's really fucking nice
>Her hands are soft as can be
>I tense up, she just goes all over the place
>Keeps complimenting my definition
>She keeps going down
>too far down
>Her hands on my butt, starts massaging
>"I don't think that's my back"
>"sure it is, you can't see what I'm doing"
>whybonerwhy
>Finally gets off me
>Thank you jesus
>Gives me a slap on my ass
>See her smiling as she walks out

She was really sweet and caring throughout, though.

>insisted that I slept in her huge ass motherfucking bed, she slept on the floor in case I needed anything
>Wake up in the middle of the night
>Bed is very warm
>Aunt is curled up on me, hand under my shirt
>spurt upright
>Scream out in pain because fucking back holy shit why
>aunt wakes up in shock, apologizes profusely
>mfw she accidentally sleepily crawled into bed once after she went to the bathroom

>>30017462
I would say probably because their dad would be their first male role model/first male they're constantly in contact with, so they have an idea of what kind of guy they should be attracted to, since the father takes care of the daughter.

>>30017480
>accidentally

>>30017495
No. Shut up.

>>30017480
>she accidentally sleepily crawled into bed once after she went to the bathroom

doubt.jpg

>>30010260
I wish to be the old perv

File: imagesdwwd.jpg (5KB, 172x215px) Image search: [Google]

5KB, 172x215px

>>30017480

>>30010881
ask her to stop, duh? Use your words anon, don't be a bitch.

File: 1418054135877.jpg (95KB, 500x500px) Image search: [Google]

95KB, 500x500px

>>30017480
you have it made

All you have to do is return what she does to you.

When she flirts with you, flirt back. When she smacks your butt, smack hers.

>>30011816
I had a middle aged lesbian couple who couldn't keep their hands off me on my old pool league although I think that might have been because I kind of looked like a adult version of their son...which kind of makes things even more fucked up doesn't it?

>>30012045
Fuck Her Right In The Penis

Grill here, they are just proud as fuck of you and being moms and affectionate, also it's funny because you get flustered. The thought of incest never enters the heads of people who have never been on 4Chan. Don't worry so much.

>>30013618
If your mom was trying to fuck your guy friends what would you do? And imagine they keep publicly commenting on her Facebook photos and shit forever after...

>>30017843
>Grill here
>The thought of incest never enters the heads of people who have never been on 4Chan. Don't worry so much.
>LOOK I'M A GIRL I KNOW A LOT OF STUFF. You have no idea what you are talking about. Look up the history of incest, shit's old bitch.

>>30017843
>Grill here

dropped

>>30017887
>You have no idea what you are talking about. Look up the history of incest, shit's old bitch.

Forgot to press enter there but yeah, that wasn't supposed to be greentext.

>>30017495
>>30017518

She sleeps in just a thong and a baggy shirt. I had no face. I could keep this up all evening but I have to get going soon.

>She said it would be better if we split up her bed and had her sleep on the end she usually sleeps
>it was one of those two matrass construction, bed could be moved apart. Pretty damn narrow but we made do
>Spend the next few days crashing in her room with my personal bed
>She keeps apologizing about the whole thing, wears pyjamas
>I say it's fine, I know I'm a good pillow
>"Yes, and a space heater"
>Blurt out she's pretty hot too
>All this spaghetti
>She swallows all of it
>She tells me I should have crashed in her bed years ago

>The first day I try to change my clothes myself, doesn't work for shit
>Been wearing the same underwear for two days now
>Feel emberassed as fuck to as her for help with my clothes
>Says she lives to serve with a wry smile
>Strips me down to my boxers
>Boobs rub over my chest through her tanktop
>No boner no boner no boner
>Dick doesn't give a single fuck
>It's time for an erection
>"Uh I think we should wait a bit"
>"Don't worry about it, you're just a guy, we've seen eachother before"
>No. No, no. No, no, no, no, no.
>She pulls off my boxers, brushes against my cock with her hand
>It pops in full view, quickly cover it up
>She quickly pops on a fresh pair of boxers
>I frantically pull it up
>Back hurts like satan is raping my spine with a rake
>Yell out in pain
>Pushes my hands away, presses me on my back, lands hers on my cock, I pull back like her hand is on fire.
>She pulls up my boxers
>she proceeds to help me with the rest of my clothes, puts on a blanket, leaves without saying anything but with a cherry red blush on her cheeks.

>>30017980
You actually stayed with her despite all of this?

>blurt out she's pretty hot too

Well judging by that Freudian slip, we can safely say you actually wanted your aunties asshole clenched around your cawk

File: redpanda pullup.gif (3MB, 360x360px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 360x360px

>>30017871
Come to an understanding that your mom needs to get laid too and probably banging some young stud makes her old self feel happy. Maybe you can get that stick out your ass and enjoy life a bit by helping your mom find younger dudes as the only way she can find them is through being around you.

We will all fucking die horribly and alone. Stop being so uptight about how people find pleasure while they are alive. Find a way to encourage it safely and bring you closer to the people around you.

>>30017887
No, you're being a cunt. Your mom isn't trying to fuck you. And my opinion on how girls show affection is more valid because I am a girl, if you need me to explain that further you should probably go cash in those welfare checks for some bleach and drink it. If your mom ever saw the shit you probably post in threads like this her and your dad would take you down to the river and drown you in a bag.

>>30018065
>tfw your mum is a heroin addict
>tfw heroin makes her happy
>tfw yolo... right?
>tfw by your logic, you have absolutely no choice but to get a second job and feed her habit even though she's slowly killing herself because.. "IT MAKES HER HAPPY"

fucking idiot

Sometimes saying NO and denying them what they want is the most loving thing you can do

>>30018057
It was weird as hell, but she's one of the most amazing people I know. She would jump off a cliff for me if I asked nicely. She's been one of the most supportive people in my life. She's pretty much as responsible for dragging me out of my depression as I was myself.

And no, I mean at the time I meant she was warm. She has a nice ass. I don't think it's ever going to be normal. I'm pretty much ok with it, looking back at it so much today. I mean it's weird as fucking hell, but, like, whatever, man.