Help Appreciated

you wanna impress your family in the Philippines? Bape or XLARGE tee, the newest Nike Air Force 1 HI Retro, Nudie jeans, Bulls snapback, MA1

wait is this bait
how do I know this stuff

>>10928436
>Filipino
kill yourself my man

>>10928436
Just send the balikbayan box with swag-tier items

not jeje not japorms

>>10928453
Wish this was bait

>>10928474
I'm only half if that means anything

>>10928478
Did already along with tp for the beer shit

>>10928494
beer shits*

>>10928494
bring back lumpia

>>10928436
>filipino's
>as plural

uuuhhhhhh

>>10928500
and pancit and bibingka

>>10928560
>>10928500
my mom can cook all that shit pretty much but her adobo tastes like shoe leather

It's funny, in the mind of the rest of the world, filipinos are pretty much on par with anyone from poo-in-loo

>>10928560
>>10928589
>>10928500
eating filipino cuisine for 18 years straight until finally moving out made me despise it for the rest of my life.
the only filipino food worth a damn is tocino

>>10928645
fatty detected

>>10928657
I'm 5'11 and 135 pounds dood

>>10928674
>5'11
>filipino
yeah right

>>10928812
some filipino guys are average height
most are sub 5'3" manlets though

>>10928874
Fucking angsty ass nice respect for your culture
>they FORCED me to be Filipino I hate them!!! ):

>>10928886
lolwut
I'm not Filipino; a lot of my coworkers and college friends (and by that extent, high school friends) are Filipino; so I've met a lot

>>10928485
hahahahaha

>>10928645
Omygod nobody cares

>Tfw gf is 5'3 Filipino and I'm 6'3 and white

I'm like the only non-Filipino at every gathering it scares me so much, I'm meant to be going to the Philippines next year, is there anything I should know in advance? Thanks everyone.

>>10929855
a lot more people speak English than you might think
your girlfriend will spend most of the time buying a year's worth of cheap skin products+food / getting her hair done
you'll miss creature comforts pretty quickly

>>10929870
Thank you for the advice, honestly it seems like there's always something to do, with there being so many islands and whatnot. All of her family speak perfect English. I think the heat may be my biggest shock.

>>10929882
do you think you'll be spending time traveling? she has to catch up with everybody....even my richest coworkers only see their families in the Philippines every few years; you'll be wherever her family lives the entire time....the entire time

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>>10928436
>>10928474
>>10928485
>>10928504
>>10929855

6'4" Fillipino here but am a bit less than half.

>>10930533
>6'4 filipno
>can't even spell it right

here's your (You)

pinoy island scum

BUY WARD LA
BUY COURIER LA
PICK DIRGE LA
PHUC REPORT NOOB

>>10928436
my fillipino buddy just buys ridiculous amounts of beer for people when he goes home to visit
that seems to make them happiest

>>10930571
tang ina mo bobo

6'1 Filipino here. Not all of us are short.

>>10929855
It's hot as fuck there and everything is brown and grey. I'm pretty sure that Filipinos treat whites with respect so you'll be fine there. Expect to find a hose or some kind of bucket at the toilet so you can wash your ass.

>>10930607
they're the most powerful race.

lmao this thread

>>10930266
fucking love this picture

make sure you bring a vape too. and get spacers in your ears and a rosary tattoo on your delt to emphasize your religious backdrop. oh and maybe a lip ring and some thick-frame glasses

MOST POWERFUL

>>10928621
I live in Cali with lots of Filipino. They are on par with most Mexicans. Very un /fa/ race Not at all like regular Azns who are very /fa/

>>10928645
tangina mo bobo

>>10928436
hahaha. filipino here. wanna impress them flips. buy ralph or lacoste polos. buy some expensive watch and wear some jordans. shit will get you killed when you ride the fuckin jeepney. just ride a trike or taxi intead.

>tfw you want Asian gf but white kids

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im going back to philippines this summer. i usually dress in slp, would somebody slap my ass for wearing such clothes? i dont want anybody to rape my boypussy

>>10928436
god i hate my people

>>10930597
>>10930533
ulol gago

>>10929855
"putangina mo" is a term of endearment which translates to bless your family. use it to impress her parents

also never take public transpo

>>10930607
Thanks, it seems like it'll be an experience, that's for sure.

Her family say a lot of good things about me, and I get on with them well, but I'm a bit of a tool and I wonder if it's because of 'what I have' more than anything.

>>10928494
>I'm only half if that means anything
me too pal

surprised to see this many pinoyz on /fa/

Philipinos are all manlets who border on dwarf status

>>10928453
Why is this so realistic?

>>10933097
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Itlc9NUOx_Y
how many Filipinos are in hiding, blended back into society, waiting for this shit to blow up again

>>10933171
What is it with filipinos and the whole dance group scene? Like there will always be at least 2-3 in a group.

>>10934453
Dude they think it's the coolest shit ever lol
I have no idea why
but I know that the minute it gets popular again they're all ready

Best Filipinos are those who's grandparents been ravaged by white spaniards

>>10934544
>spaniards
>white

>>10934544
Nah the ones from the southern islands are cool
they have badass stories about terrorist attacks

>>10934564
That story about the US military mowing down like 300 Filipinos in the middle of a dormant volcano is cool as hell
Wish they would make a movie about it lol

>>10934577
Lol sauce?

>>10934590
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Balangiga_massacre

electricity
learning how to properly pronounce the name of your country
eating food that was not garbage at one point

>>10934590
Shit my bad this is it
Sorry it was 900+ dead
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_Battle_of_Bud_Dajo

>>10932931
dont listen to this fuccboii and take your gf's parents hands and literally press your forehead against their knuckles
guranteed results

>>10934624
>>10934659

America

>>10928436
Just get fakes

Louie Bitong
Gochi

>>10932931
>"putangina mo" is a term of endearment which translates to bless your family. use it to impress her parents

this, listen to this scholar

>>10928812
halfie here at 6'1" my guy

my family from home love denim jackets too for some reason
so if you want to impress them without going full fuccboi just wear stereotypical western clothes

>>10935042
this. hold it for at least 5 seconds as well

>>10934453
That's a good question. Dancing seems to be really prevalent among Filipinos. Well most asians actually.

>>10935042
this bruh

>>10935745
>>10932931

I know what it means you faggots I'm not completely retarded

I know you guys say streetwear is a surefire way to impress any Filipino family but:

1. I'm white...
2. I don't own any streetwear
3. You told me to call my girlfriend's mother a whore, so I'm taking your advice with a pinch of salt.

I typically just wear Thom Browne or exactly like an 80's prep bro, I have like one expensive watch, a Datejust, should I take that or will it absolutely get stolen?

>>10937816
be careful in the airport; the security will expect bribes if you look like you're balling

>>10937881
Thanks, I've heard about that. I've already been told to prepare for that kind of profiling anyway. Im looking forward to visiting regardless, thanks for your help.

>>10937799
i was just joking but seriously ask if they want your burnek. its a northern philippine term for trust and asking that is a way to make their parents trust you

>>10937816
dont be streetwear. dress like a white colonialist (basically prep) and stunt on all of them

you can also say cool things to the kids there like:
- putang ina push mid
- gank gank
- bobo jarvan
- SS gago
- hoy support wards nga

>>10937816
I dont know why but i seriously am so thankful for this thread, my gf is filipino but im seriously so fucking white, im visitng the philipines in a year so i wanna know all the things that ill need to know

>>10938222
n1m8

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>>10937816

Listen famlam

>Don't go out past 8pm without a flip chaperoning you
>spend money or look like you will or they'll treat you like shit
>have cash on hand just in case you need to get out of trouble
>dont trust the police
>summer "prep" (colonialwave) is fine
>wear shoes you can run in
>casually mention you like basketball and a good "LAN sesyon"
>learn to wear your bag in front of you in public
>formal greeting is to bow and place your forehead on the other persons hand while saying "magkano po"
>you are NOT an atheist/agnostic/protestant just non-practicing catholic
>drop the line "Scarborough is rightful Philippine clay, yung Intsik nayan ay magnanakaw."
>IGNORE THE BEGGARS

You will think I'm paranoid because you've lived ez mode in the west. People who've lived in shithole countries get a 6th sense for danger and no one will mention it because its normal. Have a safe visit family member.

>>10938831
Magkano po is how much. Mano po is the proper term. Also, ask if you should take off your shoes when going inside a house for +++points

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How are they powerful? lol. They are one of the ugliest, poorest peoples I can think of.

>>10938831
also talk about Sabah for extra points

>>10939195
did you forget niggers anon?

>>10938831
Thank you, so much. This is actually been a great help. I know I'll definitely feel empathy for the beggars but I've also been told giving money isn't helpful at all. I dress quite conservatively but I know I give off an impression of being 'wealthy' despite my girlfriend telling me I'll be fine I'm going to set aside a few hundred pounds in the case I do get into shit.

Which city are you going to?

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>>10939590

Only their women are somewhat worth it. Most of the "men" are usually short and fat, or 5'9 and skinny as fuck weak shits.

>>10939684
cdo

>>10939649
expect to get a nickname. if you meet younger kids, they'll probably call you kuya. make sure to dry off frequent or even keep a towel inside your shirt behind your neck because its damn humid.

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>mfw this entire thread

>>10932797
Is that moonmeander

>>10928443
I genuinely lost my shit so hard at this

Thank you so much

>good LAN sesyon
fuck I forgot about the ridiculous Starcraft fandom my FOB filipino friends have