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/bdsmg/ BDSM General #276
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You are currently reading a thread in /d/ - Hentai/Alternative

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ITT: Discussion of BDSM, Techniques, Implements, Experiences, Fantasies, Stories, Meetups, Porn, and Dubious Advice.

Fetlife Group -> https://fetlife.com/groups/66560

irc channel: irc.irchighway.net , #bdsmg

New Experiences edition.

What's something new you did recently, or would like to try in 2016?

Did you ever try something new and have it go horribly wrong?
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I'd like to start tightlacing this year, I keep promising myself I'll do it but it's so hard not to procrastinate in the face of that level of commitment to constant kink.
As for "horribly wrong" there's my whole youth...
And on the topic of "horribly wrong" (and your pic) : how do you know when you do real damage to the testes with binding like that?

If you're past 25 the balls can take quite a beating. Just keep things from turning an unhealthy purple and you will be fine. Err on the side of caution if you want kids, I guess.

You a dude doing tightlacing? I knew a guy who used to do that. Mad respect. It's not really that noticeable underneath clothing either.
Here is the bdsm test website for those who want it. www.bdsmtest.org
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look at all this not-porn!
Then post some m8
any general advice when it comes to buying rope?
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Dumping what Ive got, this tread as like 9 pics.

Rock climbing rope is good, solid but expensive.
You can also find rope in sexshops, but its way cheaper and will break easily. The composition and tickness are up to you. Also, when it comes to use it, be sure to feel the rope with you hans, in both ways, to make sure there isnt anything stuck in the rope.
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rope can break?
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Well, if its cheap and your are using it alot, yeah, especially if you do suspentions.
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12/? Thats it for now, post some content faggots.
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well then wouldnt it still be more cost effective to just buy a new cheap rope again?

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== Results from http://bdsmtest.org/ ==
98% Rope Bunny
95% Submissive
93% Slave
90% Experimentalist
89% Masochist
89% Switch
82% Degradee
82% Exhibitionist
81% Rigger
77% Pet
74% Owner
73% Master/Mistress
66% Brat
64% Degrader
62% Voyeur
60% Primal (Prey)
60% Dominant
59% Primal (Hunter)
58% Brat Tamer
50% Non-monogamist
41% Sadist
34% Vanilla
33% Girl/Boy
31% Daddy/Mommy
8% Ageplayer
See my results online at http://bdsmtest.org/result.php?id=1232434
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problem with cheap rope is it usually has other issues, too coarse for example,

but the most typical is that it stretches making what looked like good ties/knots either shrink down to the point of being impossible to undo or causing harm or going the other way and not being secure letting the person slip or fall out

Rock climbing rope is terribad. They stretch and they have cores that can do some real damage. Any reputable bondage book will tell you to stay away.
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I have $50 and am looking to buy my first bit of kink gear. Toys or what have you, Whats the best I can do with such a limited budget?
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Lots of rope and a quality ball-gag (such as an ASLAN)
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I've never been much of a rope guy as much of a heretic as that makes me. I was thinking possibly a chastity cage, plug(s), vibrators and who knows what else. I know nothing and have nothing so my knowledge is super limited.
And its all amazon cards for what its worth so that limits my market a little bit
Whatever you do, stay away from the cheap chinese shit. Amazon is plagued with that no matter what you're shopping for.
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Rate me?
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I got the most zeros of anyone in the thread, do I win?
go be dom somewhere else!
>== Results from http://bdsmtest.org/ ==
>89% Degradee
>87% Degrader
>85% Sadist
>85% Switch
>71% Dominant
>61% Submissive
>54% Experimentalist
>53% Vanilla
>50% Rigger
>47% Brat Tamer
>45% Masochist
>40% Master/Mistress
>39% Rope Bunny
>32% Slave
>26% Brat
>18% Owner
>16% Voyeur
>14% Daddy/Mommy
>11% Girl/Boy
>11% Ageplayer
>10% Primal (Hunter)
>6% Non-monogamist
>4% Pet
>4% Exhibitionist
>4% Primal (Prey)

Not even all that into BDSM stuff, but I do like personality tests. Seems more or less to correspond to my interests. Except for that 53% vanilla score, what's even up with that?

Also, what in /d/-tan's name is a rigger?
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Rigger is just someone who enjoys tying up people. Rope bunny is on the receiving end, rigger is on the giving end.
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>Ninja Theory

I think you mean Team Ninja.

Also that's not Samus.

Also Yoshio Sakamoto directed and wrote Other M.

For the record, Yoshio Sakamoto works for Nintendo. And he also directed and wrote Super Metroid.

So I'm putting the blame here squarely in Nintendo's court, actually.

Also, porn.
== Results from http://bdsmtest.org/ ==
99% Submissive
97% Rope Bunny
92% Slave
87% Degradee
82% Pet
77% Masochist
64% Experimentalist
46% Girl/Boy
37% Brat
26% Exhibitionist
22% Non-monogamist
14% Vanilla
12% Primal (Prey)
3% Ageplayer
2% Sadist
2% Owner
2% Voyeur
2% Degrader
2% Switch
1% Dominant
1% Daddy/Mommy
1% Rigger
0% Brat Tamer
0% Master/Mistress
0% Primal (Hunter)
See my results online at http://bdsmtest.org/result.php?id=1234589

I think we're meant for each other.
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That makes sense, I guess. Thanks for the explanation.
no problem
shit, image didn't post
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Posting my results from the test since that seems to be the cool thing to do now.
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and making sure to leave content as well. I highly recommend you all do the same if you're leaving results
Got a fetlife?
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Is there any game like super deepthroat but bdsm related? Something that I can turn on, customize my slave and left to work when I'm doing other things on PC?
>bdsm tamagochi
God damn time to start gamedev again.
Would be nice. I very like auto-mode in SDT so I can do my shit and sometimes take a look on throatfucked sub. Game with similar options like auto-whipping would be great
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You're wasting your time with these idiots. They're one of the most hated communities on /d/ for a reason.
Unfortunately. This is the only thread on /d/ with content I like. Everything else /d/ related (besides dickgirls/traps) makes me wanna puke. Why does my only realistic fetish have to be surrounded by morons?
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Sorry for fucking up so badly. I thought I'd try making a funny joke about how bad everyone says Other M was. I only ever played the Prime games though and I avoided Other M like the plague so I honestly wouldn't know how bad the game actually is. And I swear to god, it had samus in the tags when I saved that picture
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Literally no excuse not to post content. Come on people
Is that Fugo?
yes, yes it is
A lot of people make that mistake with that character, but she's actually from a Lilith-Soft game drawn by ZOL (artist of Himekishi Lilia, etc.).


I think a lot of people just see blonde girl in a blue jumpsuit and automatically think Samus.
Not sure if this is on topic but I figure y'all might know, what was the reasonably priced latex vendor that had a nice custom hood creation tool?
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>What's something new you did recently, or would like to try in 2016?
I met up with a couple outside of a munch/play party and had a great time. Recently going out has been difficult so meeting up with people and having a good time was a mice change of pace. One thing that's new is building a rapport of trust and connection before jumping into bed with someone. I like this new experience of building a relationship before things get sexual. I haven't gotten to enjoy this for a long time.

>any general advice when it comes to buying rope?
Buy small quantities at first to test our how the rope feels. Often Cotton and Hemp are the preferred types for starting out. Have a means to get out of rope like EMT shears or a seat belt cutter.

Plastic wrap you can get anywhere from dollar general stores to Walmart. You wrap it around a limb a bunch of times until they can't move it. Keep in mind that the bottom will need to hydrate ahead of time. Plastic wraps sticks to itself really well, so be mindful of how you'll get the sub out if they safe word due to numb limb and you'll need to cut plastic wrap for a sweaty and struggling sub.

I rate thee as "fun."

>Also, what in /d/-tan's name is a rigger?
I rigger is a person who works with "Rigging" which is a system of ropes used to control a ship's mast and sails. The term carried over to practically anyone who works with a system of ropes including people who enjoy tying up others in rope.

If you like to tie up rope bunnies sexy rope, then you are often called a "rigger."
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I's so shy to get a dom...
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Where all the doms at?
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Oh snap!
whoah how can pet be rated so low?
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Did the test a long time ago, but i feel it still is quite accurate.

== Results from http://bdsmtest.org/ ==
100% Bondage Giver
93% Dominant
91% Experimentalist
89% Brat Tamer
84% Master/Mistress
84% Voyeur
80% Daddy/Mommy
71% Non-monogamist
68% Degradation Giver
66% Sadist
63% Exhibitionist
60% Primal (Predator)
46% Pervert
41% Switch
40% Primal (Prey)
33% Brat
20% Bondage Receiver
20% Submissive
16% Degradation Receiver
16% Masochist
16% Vanilla
4% Girl/Boy
0% All-Rounder
0% Slave
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As the person who posted the test last thread, I'm starting to regret my decision.
== Results from http://bdsmtest.org/ ==
99% Dominant
98% Degrader
98% Rigger
97% Master/Mistress
94% Sadist
93% Owner
85% Primal (Hunter)
81% Brat Tamer
48% Voyeur
42% Non-monogamist
32% Experimentalist
29% Vanilla
26% Daddy/Mommy
21% Exhibitionist
7% Switch
7% Masochist
3% Ageplayer
3% Degradee
2% Submissive
1% Slave
1% Pet
1% Primal (Prey)
1% Brat
1% Rope Bunny
0% Girl/Boy
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You should already know from FL that idiot noobs are obsessed with the test. Oh well, start over next thread. Fuck these guys.
Just given that "vanilla" is a category on this online test of kink inclinations I have serious doubts about the merit of any scores given.
And why would any but the most approval-needy (subs) ever need a computer's validation of what turns them on?
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I met a woman at a munch a while ago, we texted for a while and then played. She violated my safewords and limits. I feel scared and angry all the time. I contacted the organiser of the munch and she basically told me off. I'm starting to feel like this entire 'community' is just full of abusers and rapists. I know that mostly not the case, but it still feels that way. I doubt that I'll ever find a domme or have a healthy normal relationship. Sorry for the blogpost, I just had to vent.
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Someone ignoring your safewords and limits should never have happened. A good kink community exists to keep each other safe. If the organizers aren't believing the victim then they are likely harboring more abusive people in their midst. You're better off ignoring that group of people until the organizers swap out.

For now take whatever time you need to recover. Having your boundaries violated takes time and patience to work through anxiety. Depending on where you live there may be other circles. Worst case scenario you can look up online communities to chat with people. Try to find couples that model the relationship you want to have and see how a healthy and kinky relationship is possible.
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Woah, that's fucked... I can assure you the whole community isn't that way, but we probably have a lot more rapists than the general population. Have you thought about counseling? I've had similar things happen and felt the same way, with the anger.
Yes, I'm moving to London next year so there will plenty of opportunity to meet people, I'm just not sure I want to. It's going to take a lot of time before I'll trust anybody with restraining me.
I don't really know how to feel about counseling, I don't really want to open up to a stranger, especially if they know nothing about BDSM, I guess they wouldn't understand and would try to blame me. My parents centainly aren't an option. Some of my friends know vaguely what I'm into, and I don't think they'd make fun of me or anything, but they're dudes and emotional intimacy isn't exactly their specialty, they just wouldn't know wtf to do.
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This weekend was a whole lot of new experiences for me! I went to my very first kink convention with my current partner, for one.

It was a hypnosis-focused convention, so there were a lot of interesting classes, and a lot of interesting ideas to learn and come up with. One of the demos was a whole roleplay scene where one person was being a new jedi and with hypnotic triggers another played the role of the Sith, force choking, force lightning her, mind probing her to reveal a fantasy, then fucking her into the Dark Side.

I also got to both learn and practice a few rapid inductions, having them succeed on people I didn't know prior to the event.

My partner and I tried out some dollplay too, using some of what we learned. I had her down in dollspace, unable to move or speak as I gave her lots of hypno-boosted sensual touches that made her breath quicken hard and her eyes roll back. Then I snapped her back-out right near the end and we rolled around having hot sex. It was my first time doing that kind of play (from the top) with someone with someone who really got off on it too.

I had a rather delightful time watching someone I got interested in hypnokink growing more and more excited about it, and developing all kinds of thoughts about what to do to me using it.

This weekend was also the first time I ever choked someone. She was showing me how, and guiding my hand as we tried it. I wasn't into it before, but seeing how excited she got from it was hot... so I might try that again.

This was also my first time spending a full day in female-mode, and spending so much time out in (semi-)public as a woman, which was fantastic.
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I guess in terms of bad things, we did see one hypnotist who went with sexual suggestions during his stage-show without asking the people coming up to volunteer first. The recipient of that had an abreaction, telling the audience only her dom was allowed to, but he went with a lesser sexual suggestion she ended up doing. We avoided him a little after that.

Anyway, right now, I'm trying to take it easy and ease back into work so I don't get drop.
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Congrats! Going to a new kink event can be daunting, and I'm glad you found the courage to head out. How were the social aspects of the convention. Did your partner and you just stick together or did you get to make a few friendships/connections while there?
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There are kink-friendly therapists, I know one in the UK if you're moving here and iirc he does Skype calls too. Look up Circle of Trust Therapy.
I'm sorry this has happened to you, I know a little something about trauma and what you're feeling are the feelings of anyone hurt and betrayed like that. I know you must now fear someone accusing you of allowing this to happen by way of your participation in S/m but you already know that is nonsense. Don't let anyone get away with saying that: the confrontation will not be nearly as bad as allowing them to define who you are and what you deserve to have happen to you. That new pain only leaves anouther echo of itself behind.
Not being able to trust anyone, even outside of anything related to S/m, is to be expected. That's going to last for a long while.
You also don't ever need to apologize for expressing your anger about this, your emotions need to be expressed if you are going to understand them, it helps you deal with the inevitable confusion and self-doubt when the pain is expressed for what it is.
And I should say that when you are going off to live in a new city you'll find that without the environment of the past experience you will feel a great deal better. However, whenever you return to the location of the trauma the wound will still be fresh in your mind again and will not be forgotten in the same way as it had when you are in London.
I wish I could tell you it'll be like this never happened one day, but the truth is you know something ugly about the world that isn't ever going to be forgotten. Be strong.
You're not wrong... and this thread is a very bad place for you to look for evidence to the contrary.

Sorry that happened to you, but hanging out here is almost a guarantee of further pain. Both people I've gotten to know from /bdsmg/ were just like that. They seem perfectly nice and then when you get to know them they're totally different.
Thats the majority of the community in a nutshell, sadly. Sorry you had to find out that way.
So I take it you two are saying that this woman who violated one of the most basic rules of sadomasochism is representative of all sadomasochists,
yourselve s included??
You are not helping anyone by saying that
Nobody should ever expect to be treated like that no matter what you think of bdsm
When you say that this was normal you are legitimizing what was done to this anon
Work out your issues somewhere else and stop trying to scare someone who is hurting right now
This is not a game to them and it shouldn't have been to you
Then you can't read.
Who said its ok? No one said its a good thing. Its just the sad state of the bdsm community now a days. Mostly abusers. I didnt think a community claiming to be about bdsm would be so naive and uninformed... but then again, thats the whole reason the community is as fucked up as it is.
When engaging in any sort of kink you really need to follow SCS. Safe, Consentual, Sane.

== Results from http://bdsmtest.org/ ==
98% Master/Mistress
95% Owner
94% Rigger
93% Degrader
93% Sadist
92% Dominant
91% Daddy/Mommy
88% Rope Bunny
86% Girl/Boy
84% Ageplayer
78% Pet
78% Brat
76% Brat Tamer
75% Primal (Hunter)
70% Switch
62% Submissive
59% Primal (Prey)
56% Experimentalist
54% Degradee
49% Voyeur
38% Masochist
34% Non-monogamist
33% Slave
14% Exhibitionist
12% Vanilla
See my results online at http://bdsmtest.org/result.php?id=1247100
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The best advice I could give you to try to be the change you wish to see in the world. The thread has had its fair share of asshats and fucktards. Over the course of this thread I've used it as practice on establishing healthier boundaries.

I agree with you that this thread would be a poor place to try to overcome trauma. Talking with friendly people with the distance of the internet may help, but it won't cover everything a person needs to re-contextualize a bad experience. Nothing is really going to smoother over boundary violations until going out and having a better experience.

My success at meeting people from the thread has been from learning what I want, what makes me comfortable, and how to tell people no. No matter who you meet, people are people. They are going to be just as brilliant, short sighted, joyful, and infuriating as most other people. You don't have to accept all of another person, nor have all of you accepted. Part of healthy boundaries is being able to take rejection too.

Most of the people I have met on the thread have been good people. They make mistakes, they can push too hard, but overall I've had good experiences. Hell, I once did a road trip with one person from the thread to help another couple in the thread move from Philadelphia to Wisconsin. At one point the couple offered to let me crash in bed with them, but after a long day of moving boxes and anxiety in general, i wasn't up for anything sexy or sexual. They made an offer, I politely declined, they accepted rejection gracefully.
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Making a healthy hub in the BDSM community is a logistical challenge on the best of days. I'm fortunate that I'm near three hubs in the community that seem to mostly safe environments. I'll bumped into a couple of people with a poor sense of boundaries here and that, but they've been outliers. A good community can't depend on organizers enforcing boundaries and and safe environment. Each individual needs to be built up to say no when people press to far, and be able to escalate to shouting and physical blows when necessary. What organizers can do is create a permissive atmosphere where every feel safe in escalating to get a firm "No" across to a person who gets too handsy too fast.

Another defense of the community is to gossip like hens. People live and die by their reputation in my neck of the woods. If a person has bad reputation for ignoring safe words then it'll quickly spread to other groups within a good 100 miles. That alone is an effective deterrent against most forms of bad behavior, and those who can't find they aren't welcomed to any of the local munches or play parties.
Dear /d/eviants, I need help!
I have a dom female friend; she whipped me a few times and we both enjoyed it, but she seemed somewhat discomforted by my lack of a penis.
She's completely heterosexual, she insists. So I jokingly proposed a threesome with some random hot guy, to put her at ease, and she actually said yes!

...And now we have absolutely no idea about how to proceed. Where can we find a guy to join us?
She prefers somebody absolutely random, so I guess the best choice would be to join a play party and pick up someone. Is there a general etiquette to follow? Guidelines? Ideas?
please be in London
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nope sorry
I know 4chan is not the best place to seek advice, but it's the only place I know where people don't sugarcoat things. I posted my story on reddit's r/bdsmcommunity but I only got shitty answers. I've gotten a somewhat today. I've decided I'm just not going to tell anyone, that way I don't have to be afraid of people telling others or shaming me. I just want to forget of it, and probably forget all kink, it's been ruined for me.
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That's probably your safest bet if that's the way your local community functions, unless you plan on moving any time soon. What happened wasn't your fault, but don't let these people sugarcoat the truth to you.
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My partner and I stuck together the whole time, but there was definitely a lot of socializing. We spoke with people in the halls between classes, shared a few lunches with folks, made a point of going to the group dinners that were being arranged so we could talk to lots of new folk, went to the big post-con dinner with like half the attendees present, and played with lots of folks.

This particular convention had a piece of paper up for folks to post sticky-notes onto, so if you were looking for a scene/advice/practice/whatever, you could post your request on the board with your name and room #, and people who wanted to try that could find you. We had a couple things get set up through that.

They also had a 3-hour "unconference" on the last day which was basically attendee suggestions for classes/demos that were that taught by whoever was comfortable with that.

Going to a couple swingers parties might be one idea. Those are generally more oriented towards swapping, orgies, threesomes, and having more casual sex with people. The organizers of those parties are someone you could probably reach out to for specific advice about the groups rules, etiquette, and general advice on how to participate without forcing you to do anything. Plus, if you're okay with that semi-public environment, it's a good way to make sure the threesome is had in place where there are others to help break it up if things go south, and a place where most participants are vetted to ensure things don't go south in terms of unwanted action.
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Stories like these are why I haven't been able to move forward with my plans to find some company. I've been observing the message boards in my area, and the way the people there conduct themselves just makes me not trust them, it's all too scary. So here I am now, in my early 30's and without a single experience.
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>Stories like these are why I haven't been able to move forward with my plans to find some company. I've been observing the message boards in my area, and the way the people there conduct themselves just makes me not trust them, it's all too scary. So here I am now, in my early 30's and without a single experience.
You'll miss 100% of the shots you don't take. Ever wanted to talk to someone you felt was attractive, but talked yourself down from it? Life is pain. All relationships and interaction leads to pain and conflict. If being alone and afraid all your life is acceptable then there is nothing I can say to change your mind.

People with kink tend to be fairly common. There are likely other people who share your interest in the area unless you live in the rural reaches of Montana. If you don't like how a group treats people then host your own munch, Then you'll be in control of how people conduct themselves. If the established group in your area is shit, then it's likely there are other kinksters who are interested, but avoiding the established group of people. A little bravery and dedication is all it takes to make a change in the direction you want to see.

Or you could be afraid and along your whole life. Up to you.
Life's also short. Why get murdered by a psychopath early on?
He's urging you to go to a public munch and meet people, not get taken home immediately.

Or you have bravery and dedication in spades but simply don't succeed. It's quite possible to try and always fail. While bravery is necessary, it's not at all sufficient.

What I mean is that the reason to develop bravery and dedication isn't because it guarantees you success. "Here are steps to take and you may have some opportunities" sets you up less for failure.

It actually and literally isn't "up to you" whether you're afraid and alone forever. At the bare minimum it's up to one other person besides you.

I'm saying this because some people with social adjustment and interpersonal issues are going to take your blithe tone as making light of the difficulty and also implying that if you try to meet people and fail, then the problem was with the persons lack of character, which can punish their efforts instead of rewarding them.

Have you seen the quality of the american gene-pool? Trust me, anyone who tries enough time will find someone. It might not be a 19 year old blonde fetish model, but it will be someone.
>People with kink tend to be fairly common.

Mdom/fsub is fairly common, the reverse is not however.
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>Life's also short. Why get murdered by a psychopath early on?
Not all kinksters are axe murderers. Look at the number of murders that happen per year in your region. Then look at the number of munches, meetups, and play parties. Then add the number of people hooking up as couples or small groups to practice BDSM. Notice that the number of kink activities is orders of magnitude higher that murder.

The vast majority of people out there are practicing kink and meeting people without it terminating their lives.

>He's urging you to go to a public munch and meet people, not get taken home immediately.
Sometimes munches will have That Guy who likes to try and seduce the new people. Playing with people right off the bat is not recommended. Give people enough time they'll show you who they really are. Playing it safe often means asking around to many different sources to verify a person's reputation and history with past partners before playing with them.

Then I would clarify that is isn't wholly up to the person trying to put themselves out there. Passively waiting for opportunity to fall into their lap doesn't often yield desired results. There is no magical force out there which is sympathetic to the lonely, and throws people their way. People need to put themselves out there in order to meet companions.

>Mdom/fsub is fairly common, the reverse is not however.
Depends on the area. I find the ratio to be balanced in mine. Then you have to figure if people have desire and ability to dom/sub, but don't feel they could be accepted.
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It's not always the "normal" that you meet when you step out the front door:
I'm one of the transgendered people who post here (too often) and it's scary how many TG people are kinksters (normal sex lives never having been an option) when that's a population that has always had to convince the world that they're not just sex perverts. Both subs and Doms, M2Fs and F2Ms, every combination, it's all out there.
Likewise with the geek culture, we had a StarWars themed starter question for the last thread and again I'm always amazed at how much BDSM pops up whenever you get a nerd-horde together and how much geek is in the kink scene. There's a comic convention sex scene, for god's sake, and it's almost all kink in nature. Again, you just have to look.
Then there's just who you meet everyday IRL, my sister's college roommate was a ProDomme who specialized in watersports. Just another random connection to the world of kink. I damn well didn't reveal my sexual proclivities to those two, but it just goes to show you how common the uncommon can be.
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That's also a great argument for homosexuals to never come out of the closet, and for racial minorities to never protest for their constitutional rights, and for women in abusive relationships to stay and obey.

It's also the perfect argument to make sure the world will always be ruled by the whims of violent psychopaths.
I don't like that, do you?
Is it the norm for munch attendees to be predominantly older? The ones I've been two have been majority 40+.
It depends on your area and the specific munch. Sometimes you need to go to different munches to meet a different age group.
The population as a whole is living longer, Viagra enables more active sex lives even later in life, and kink has always been with us so it's not like old people started yesterday.
Basically the answer is yes. Younger groups are more rare because in order to -be- younger they have to have just now started out. So you just need to go find a more youthful munch group to join, the old-timers might know where to recommend you look locally. But do keep in touch with the oldies, there's a lot to learn that the younger groups don't always know about S/m.
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>There are likely other people who share your interest in the area unless you live in the rural reaches of Montana.

>>6644914 here again. Not Montana, but it's a very comparable place. Similar conditions. Similarly out-in-the-middle-of-nowhere, with lot of people who just don't "get it". And I'm a male bottom BTW, which makes me bottom of the barrel for the women in the local circles, since my kind are a dime in a dozen. Plus people gossip, and I don't need that shit.

I have so much to contend with, I don't even know where to start. I collect disability for mental health reasons, so Imma semi-poorfag most of the time. And I've actually found women to be very cruel and uncaring towards cases such as me, so I just don't feel motivated anymore to go for something that is likely to fail with 100% certainty.

Since I have issues, a scenario like described in >>6640881 could end badly for all, as I'm not above using force towards people who I feel are threatening me. My desire would be to play with someone who's smooth behaving, emotionally stable and SANE. Most of the women I know are the exact opposite, seemingly always on some sort of permanent period, always complaining about something, anything. I can't deal with that. I'm desperately in need of some serenity in my life. Without that, I can't relax and trust the other half.
You may ultimately decide to live abstinent, it's not as if kinksters in general are known for being safe, stable, sane, calming influences on the people around them.
There's no shame in it if you own it as a lifechoice, monks do it all the time, and it's not like everyone in the world is wired to end up codependent.
== Results from http://bdsmtest.org/ ==
97% Experimentalist
96% Exhibitionist
95% Switch
94% Rope Bunny
92% Voyeur
86% Rigger
85% Submissive
81% Dominant
77% Degradee
76% Master/Mistress
75% Degrader
74% Non-monogamist
72% Sadist
72% Masochist
68% Brat
68% Slave
68% Owner
67% Primal (Hunter)
65% Brat Tamer
62% Primal (Prey)
60% Girl/Boy
57% Daddy/Mommy
44% Ageplayer
36% Pet
30% Vanilla
See my results online at http://bdsmtest.org/result.php?id=1359526
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Oh fuck off with this, literally nobody cares.
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>Is it the norm for munch attendees to be predominantly older? The ones I've been two have been majority 40+.
Depends on the group. A few years ago this was a far more pronounced issue. Most groups were older people. There were plenty of younger folks who wanted to get involved with kink communities, but there was the issue of who was going make the first move. Imagine 50 young people wanting to join a kink group, but each one not going to the munch because there weren't other young people attending. Over the years this has become far less of an issues since more people have been willing to break the generational ice.

Personally I find the older generation fascinating. One of my favorite people to talk to is 80+ years old with tons of stories about kink in the pre-internet days.

Maybe you'd be better off working on yourself until you don't need someone to complete you. Finding a partner will be very difficult if you cling to them with a dire need for emotional stability.

You're story reminds of of one of the local munch organizers. He's a male sub who lived in one of the very conservative reached of rural Ohio. He started a munch at a local restaurant. All it took was posting the event on fetlife and wearing a specific T-shirt. One other kinkster showed up and they chatted over coffee. Three years later the munch had 40-50 people and going strong.
"Dang whipper snappers!"
Hoping you guys will know the psychology or whatever behind this better than other boards or generals.

Why are foot/heeljobs or jizzing in a womans heel and having her wear it seen as submissive for the male? I have a thing for feet and high heels (seeing them on women, not wearing myself), and I love the idea of jizzing on a woman's feet while she's wearing heels OR, better yet, jizzing IN her heels and making her wear them out and about. Yet, every porn clip or blog post I see that deals with these specific things always treats it as a dominant thing for the woman (talking a cis relationship for clarity)? That doesn't make sense to me. I would think a woman would see having jizz in her shoe as gross and would not want to wear them out and about, therefore it makes more sense to me when the dominant is the one jizzing in the shoe?

I know this is a really weirdly specific thing but I was curious to see other takes on it.
I've found the same thing with other fetishes and porn being strangely backwards in logic. There's an example but it's right on the tip of my tongue and not coming to me. I agree with your logic, I'd think the same thing but I guess the people making the porn think differently. Very weird.
>getting your rights
>the same as getting kinky sex
I guess that heels are a symbol of power for women. When they are using it, they get taller and their butts get pert. This makes them so hotter and appealing that any men would do anything for them. Women become powerful with heels on, that's why I think the heel fetish is seen as a thing of submissive males.
I decided to follow the advice given in this thread last time and spice up my bdsm-heavy relationship with semi vanilla stuff. I liked the phrasing that vanilla is also a spice.

Namely, roleplaying.

But regular roleplaying doesn't actually cut it, because how am I going to play a naughty college girl when I'm already a naughty college girl?

So we went full escapism because why not.

First my bf was a captured spy and I tortured him sexually (edging, bondage mostly) for state secrets or something like that.

Then he did rituals to invoke occult power beyond measure and I was his virgin sacrifice. Drawing symbols on skin with hot wax and a whole bunch of other neat stuff like that.

Then we went full weaboo and i was some witch's familiar trying to kill a destined hero. I really hoped he'd rape me, or at least I'd rape him, but instead i got the hardest spanking of my life. You know how people's butts glow red on art? That.

I'm out of ideas for now, pls gib more.

Also i can't sit.
97% Dominant
89% Master/Mistress
87% Sadist
83% Degrader
82% Rigger
73% Owner
69% Brat Tamer
64% Primal (Hunter)
60% Voyeur
51% Experimentalist
41% Vanilla
39% Daddy/Mommy
30% Non-monogamist
29% Exhibitionist
13% Ageplayer
11% Masochist
10% Brat
6% Rope Bunny
4% Degradee
4% Switch
3% Submissive
3% Slave
3% Primal (Prey)
3% Girl/Boy
3% Pet

I feel that some of these may be a bit high, as I'm not particularly interested in rope play or the whole 'hunter' thing. But I do enjoy being dominant and largely being in control at all times.
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Why do you even bother to reply? It's like railing against the 57 dickgirl threads on /d/ at all times. If you're not interested, ignore it, post things you like and stop complaining over people doing the same.
Well, YEAH. Pursuit of happiness. etc.
Why do you even bother to reply? It's like railing against the 57 dickgirl threads on /d/ at all times. If you're not interested, ignore it, post things you like and stop complaining over people doing the same.
One is the right to be safe whilst being who you are, something one cannot change. The other is a sexual preference, which doesn't have to be shown publically and which often don't get fulfilled, regardless of what that sexual preference may be.
Sorry meant for>>6648543
Why do you even bother to reply? It's like railing against the 57 dickgirl threads on /d/ at all times. If you're not interested, ignore it, post things you like and stop complaining over people doing the same.
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Dividing up people's rights by level of importance does not negate the less important rights. If it did we would only have the right to life. And no state in the world actually respects that one.

And can whoever it is please stop posting the same trollpost over and over, if you don't stop it's just going to get you banned and, more importantly, ruin the thread.
"Don't respond to wrongheaded posts! Let them stand as this thread's only opinions!" - Dumb advice.
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Hey look at all this not porn!
>complains about non porn
>doesn't post porn

Lifestyle lurker girl here yet again.

We've done pretty well in the discipline department. In most cases, I've gone from "i should not do this, as that would make some of my body parts hurt and uncomfortable if i get caught", to "I should not do this because my owner would be disappointed" to the thought of "doing this" not even actually entering my mind.

So i don't do anything wrong and don't get punished. But, yeah, I still like pain in conjunction with sex, and then there's a deep link between punishment and trust that i treasure very much: i lie down, half-naked, bound and gagged, and he can do literally anything to me, whether I want it or not, but he chooses to just hit me a little in a way that hurts but doesn't harm, wipes my tears and never holds it against me, which is better than what most parents do.

And boy, do i ever miss that. Does anyone have any ideas?
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If I'm reading this right, then you want pain for the sake of enjoyment, and wish to indulge without disappointing your partner.

There is a simple way how to go abut this. use your words. Tell your partner that you enjoy pain during sex. Pain doesn't have to be punishment, correction, or coercion. Personally I like grabbing someone by the hair, bending them over, and delivering a good spanking.

If your partner is up for recreational pain, then awesome. If your partner has some misgivings then you'll have to open their perspective to seeing recreational pain as fun.

When they hurt you, talk them throguh how much you are enjoying yourself. Encourage them to with each strike and affirm this is what you want. A system of safewords can be used to assess how much pain and where is appropriate.

Blue - Hurt me more!
Green - is a good about of hurt.
Yellow - Slow it down.
Orange - I need a break.
Red - I'm done for the night.

A quick and dirty guide is to strike areas that are meaty while avoiding areas close to bone. Thighs, ass, and upper back tend to be good. Avoid the spine, head, or kidneys. Don't strike joints. Just don't do it.
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Anyone know any good, BDSM focused VN's with an english translation? That's probably not an easy thing to find but that's why I'm asking.
Just the majority, eh? Ah well, as long as you don't get into "everyone is assholes, except me, now get in the basement with me and my buddy Zed, it' sperfectly safe" territory...
Ayy lmao
Zed isn't safe in that basement either: he meets a pretty bad end there in that movie Pulp Fiction.
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Yup, but the kid in the basement listening to True Master One True Way likely won't be Bruce Willis.
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Are there enough girls who are into pain, bondage and domination in the bedroom but also into rather calm/ shy/ non-dominant guys out of the bedroom, or could one say there are enough that there's a realistic chance to meet one? Well, I'm a 20 year old guy without any sexual experience and all information I have gotten so far points in the direction of masochist girls being into the (as much as I hate to reference this) "Christian Grey" archetype of a perfect and always dominant and controlling man. Or is that an untrue assumption? I am also a little scared of going to munches and similar meet-ups because of, well, a lack of experience and not being an uber dominant aggressive macho type but rather a funny, light-hearted positive and a bit nerdy guy who you probably wouldn't expect to be into giving pain. Outside the bedroom/sexual fantasies, I'm one of those people who wouldn't hurt a fly and is very compassionate. I can't watch sad movies because I get close to tearing up, for god's sake!

Ah, and also, can anyone recommend to me any eroge/manga/doujinshi/bringiton about girls being abducted and then tortured/sexually humiliated/interrogated/raped/...? As for fiction, that's my fetish.
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You sound really nice! I don't know about your area but I frequent munches & parties in Seattle, there's a bunch of people in general you wouldn't expect to be into their "deviant" behaviour of choice. Not me though, I look meek outside the bedroom and I am meek inside the bedroom. :P

(To be honest I find those Serious Dom types so boring because what do you DO with them when you're not fucking or playing?? And I know a couple of guys who actually seem inhuman because they're So Serious All The Time. Not for me. Kinda scary.)
Thanks, that's reassuring to hear. Maybe I'll have to look for something like meetups here in Germany.
How do nosehooks work?
Here's an article on them

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>Are there enough girls who are into pain, bondage and domination in the bedroom but also into rather calm/ shy/ non-dominant guys out of the bedroom, or could one say there are enough that there's a realistic chance to meet one?
Sure there are plenty! Unrellated to kink, going out and meeting people as an adult is HARD. Being willing to approach people and start a conversation is 90% of what you need to get started. Consider that at munches, meet ups and play parties there are people explicitly there to socialize. These places are really easy to start up conversations since it'll put unfamiliar people together.

One of my favorite Munches is in the Youngstown Ohio area at a local Perkins diner. The group is large enough that we take up the entire back area with most people sitting in four person booths. I'll look for a table with an open spot as ask the people "Is this seat open?" I find that most social interactions work better if I'm graceful about things. Which I mean by phrasing things that don't put any immediate expectation on people, and are a gentle invitation.

Being a a little open, honest, and vulnerable will get you a long way. You don't have to tell your life story, but sharing what you enjoy, and your joy of it helps. Also, being a new person is 100% acceptable. Young kinksters with no experience with vanilla sex is pretty common.

At my first munch I walked up to the munch organizer, introduced myself, and told him this was my first ever event. I asked if there were some newbie friendly people and he was happy to sit me down next to some of the friendliest people I've met in the community. Don't just silently walk in and be nervous. Introduce yourself, ask people for their stories, be an attentive listener. If you are really interested in rope, and find out someone is a rigger then ask them about rope and their stories as a rigger. Your enthusiasm and interest will come through and make the conversation so much better.
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I did a quick look and well, I don't even live in America, and here in Germany, all I seem to have as options are those really expensive BDSM parties where the women pay next to no money to get in while men have to pay double the amount. I don't want to support this kind of sexism.

Maybe I should get fetlife, but I feel like I'd look ridiculous, you know, some weirdo trying to get into the scene with NO experience whatsoever. I feel like I should at least have been around the block. I can't fathom a kinky woman taking a young, virginal guy seriously. How the fuck am I supposed to dominate someone when they're "above" me in some sense? Like, as a guy, I'm not something of innate value like a "naughty college girl" for example (refer to post >>6647900), I'm "just some guy".

I don't know, winter is hitting me hard at the moment so maybe I sound a little down, but hey.

Is there any way to go about finding munches with no Fetlife?
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>Honestly I don't know of the scene outside fetlife. Here in the states there is the Old Guard Leather community, and the social media generation. The previous generations were the ones who formed tight kit communities before the advent of the internet. Most of my experience has been with people arranging meet ups though fetlife.

In my neck of the woods I know one person who goes by Damsel who has a thing for domming guys who are new to the scene. She's just one vocal example I can cite. There are plenty of female tops and doms, you just have to be willing to say you're a sub and you're looking. Think about it, no one is going to psychically know you're interested. You have to use your words. As a dom I don't make a move before asking for explicit consent. Consider that doms are people too with insecurities about rejection and acceptance. If you are able to say that you're a sub with a smile and inviting eyes, then you may get more takers.

Also, don't be worries about what you expect other people will think. Your expectations and reality often have very little to do with one another. If you drop your expectations and see a group for what it is, you may be pleasantly surprised.
Huh? Well, I wouldn't want to be a sub, I'd want to be a dom. But I feel a dom needs experience because, like, women would need to be able to look up to me or something? It's hard to explain. I feel like in order to be able to dominate a girl in any context, I'd need to be "above" her, more experienced, more everything in every regard. Because otherwise she wouldn't be... is "scared" the right word here? of me. I imagine in that respect that being a male sub is easier because in order to get a domme going you just have to suck up to her while as a dom looking for a sub you have to impress and everything, it's weird. Or do you think this might be weird media expectations?

I don't know shit
How can it work when the Dom is also a masochist?
This thread was super informative! sorry I don't have much to post i usually lurk on /hc/ so all of my stuff is live action. I always love learning more about BDSM :^) /d/ is one of my favorite boards cus of all the great fetishes n art you have going on.
Can someone or thing help me find this hentai
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Sounds like you're looking for someone to be in awe of you. Honestly, you're not going to be be better than another person in every conceivable way. That's just an unrealistic fantasy.

However you could roleplay a situation where the two of you are in those roles. Think about it.A little theater is all you need to get emotions going. An action movie doesn't need to have real guns firing in your direction or Micheal Bay setting of explosives. Or a Hatty Potter book can make you feel attached to characters. You and a partner could play out certain roles and have a good time of it.

Very well. The idea is that a dom is being "serviced" when receiving. I could go down on a sub and it would be me taking my pleasure. Regardless of the act I'd still be the one in control.

You're welcome. Glad you're enjoying the thread.

Pigeon Blood. Low ball your expectations as the rest of the hentai is pretty far out there.
That'd mean I'd need a kinky girl as a partner. Mission Impossible. I'm not a woman so finding a partner is fucking hard
== Results from http://bdsmtest.org/ ==
79% Vanilla
67% Submissive
63% Switch
50% Rope Bunny
47% Dominant
43% Rigger
39% Experimentalist
35% Masochist
35% Sadist
27% Brat
23% Master/Mistress
17% Brat Tamer
11% Slave
11% Non-monogamist
11% Pet
10% Primal (Hunter)
8% Daddy/Mommy
8% Degradee
8% Degrader
7% Voyeur
6% Owner
5% Primal (Prey)
5% Girl/Boy
4% Exhibitionist
2% Ageplayer

I....I'll just show myself out now.
It's kind of sad, bdsm interests me, but I've just got way too much of a vanilla mindset to even be here. (This is from personal observation, I just got bored and wanted to see the questions on the test)
>inb4 lulz I bet you missionary sex
At this point of nothing, I wouldn't even mind that.
Also since I'm a first time visitor to this thread, what the fuck is a munch?
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>I imagine in that respect that being a male sub is easier because in order to get a domme going you just have to suck up to her while as a dom looking for a sub you have to impress and everything, it's weird.

Hilarious. No, you don't get a domme by just sucking up to us.

And actually, you don't need a sub to be 'below' you or to hero worship you in order for them to submit to you. I think you've kinda got it the wrong way round. Most healthy D/s relationships start off with two equals who come to adore each other and express it with differently coded gestures. It sounds to me like you need to do an awful lot more reading and talking to kinky people in the lifestyle, because I don't really think you understand how /healthy/ D/s works. I think most of us start off at that stage, I certainly used to think like that, but it's not a good way to see other human beings you'd like to date so you need to do your research.
It's the answer to a great many problems that arise in looking for BDSM love.
Meetups. Organized by local leaders in the S/m kink scene (whatever there is of it) that allow people to introduce themselves, take the measure of people, and get to know potential play partners in nonsexual situations, all without puplic exposure of your specific interests or express commitment to activity. They are usually held discreetly in public spaces like family-style restaurants as casual social events, thus the name "Munch".
Huh, thanks. I'll never see that group in the back room of the family restaurant I frequent the same again...
I don't know if I'm more relived I didn't octuple post earlier or annoyed it didn't go through at all.

tl;dr for Germanfag; try fetlife, it's OK to be a noob, don't listen to male "doms" off reddit.
I don't know if I'm just bitter, but I'm pretty sure women will laugh at my face for my inexperience and bully me out. Especially because I'm not scary.

Hm, I've never been to the bdsm subreddit, but listening to your words, I suppose I should avoid it? What's the reason?
but what if you want to feel some pain too while maintaining your dominance?
Any anon have experience with playing with chains? I want to buy some chains to tie my gf up and thinking of trying to lock it up with something like a carabiner but surely there has to be more creative ways of doing it. ive seen plays where chains are locked up with small locks. which is nice but i dont want to use something were keys are necessary for release.
find a sub willing to bite back or fight you
It's a munch, not high school. Literally never seen that happen at a kink event. The only reason you'd get laughed at is if you're claiming to be some kind of big I-am without having any experience, like calling yourself a Master and stuff.
Well, that'd be just embarassing to even look at. I'd never do that.
i really, REALLY want to try hypnosis. sadly all the threads about it are fantasy hypnosis that doesn't actually work. and every website about it is strange-voiced femdom kink that just turns me off completely. i can't get comfortable while listening to that stuff. finding someone i'm both comfortable with and is willing to do it to me is proving rather difficult. my partner has a wonderfully relaxing voice and could probably get it to work on the first try if they weren't so scared of it. a friend of mine has been talking about their experiences with it, and how they utilize it for their long-distance relationships. i am mostly interested in that, and secondarily the benefits it could have for my anxiety.

i used to lurk in the IRC and i remember seeing some regulars had experience with it but its been almost two years since i was in there.
>8ch /hypno/
>newfapchan /hypno/
>how they utilize it for their long-distance relationships

how exaclty does that work? please do tell more
supposedly she and her girlfriend have set up triggers for each other that they can use to simulate having sex together. iirc the set-up is the most difficult part. i would think you have to do a lot of testing of individual cues before you could make it work in combination.
How can i get my ebf into bondage and latex?
>no weekend munches
>theyre all weekdays 7-9
That sounds awful. I hope your able to recover.

Shit like that makes me reluctant to even get involved.
What is a short headlong fall? Do you really think it's a coincidence that paratroopers/parachutist learn how to fall? And they aren't tied to the hands or feet.

If the sub is not suspended or it's a karada, any rope would proably do.

don't you assholes have an IRC where you can post this BDSM Test shit
>I met a woman at a munch a while ago, we texted for a while and then played. She violated my safewords and limits. I feel scared and angry all the time.
It's quite simple, I'm afraid.

If you're a man, then she didn't do anything wrong.
If you're a woman, then she couldn't do anything wrong.

>I contacted the organiser of the munch and she basically told me off. I'm starting to feel like this entire 'community' is just full of abusers and rapists.
Nah, there's also starry-eyed idealists that will get you B& if you say that nazi uniforms is a total turnoff. XD
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if you guys are going to spam your personal facebook test results, can you at least post some porn, the ratio in this thread is just pathetic
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here, i'll fix your thread for you... again
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there we go, at least the thread is about 50% porn now, not including your facebook shit

this is why no one likes you guys
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Thank you for doing god's work.
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>What's something new you did recently, or would like to try in 2016?
Me and my FWB decided we want to try some light bondage for the first time. I'm thinking of duct-taping her to a chair and teasing her with a vibe. Is this a reasonable starting point? Any pro-tips I should know?
If I was doing god's work, i'd delete these cancerous threads.
is fetlife really the way to go for a beginner?
I'd avoid duct tape, shit's hard to work with and hurts like a bitch if you catch any hair. Go with rope (cotton clothesline from the dollar store will work for your first time) or some scarves or something. When you tie her up, make sure you can fit two fingers between whatever you use to tie her and her skin, and don't tie areas near joints. Make sure you check on her throughout the scene - ask if anything is falling asleep and so on.

Otherwise, seems like a fun time.
How about you ahut the hell up until you name a better alternative than /soc/.
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So I went to a tattoo convention up in Cleveland today. I was expecting a bunch of tattooed chicks, panels on alt culture, and seminars on tattoos as a business.

What I got was show floor the size of a medium panel room at an anime convention. The whole think was the equivalent of a dealer's room with a munch of booths. Sure it would have been cool to see all these tattoo artists if I was looking for a tattoo, but I'm not.

On the plus side it was a good exercise in figuring out how my social anxiety ticks and what to do about it.

On the way back I was able to strike up a conversation with a cute waitress at melt. Tattoo's, piercings, and cute as a button. Even after being wracked with anxiety through most of the day it was nice to strike up a rapport in a chance encounter. When I paid for my meal I left a note "Thanks [name]. You, and a fuzzy squirrel i saw in the park, made my day."

I know tattoos would mean she enjoys pain, but there would be a lot of presumption to ask a busy waitress if she enjoyed kink when she's at work. If I had more stamina and a little more balls at the time I would have complemented her piercings a and said she'd look good in a collar.

>That'd mean I'd need a kinky girl as a partner. Mission Impossible. I'm not a woman so finding a partner is fucking hard
Not as hard as you think. If you go to a munch, or start talking to people in a kin community then you are guaranteed to have a common interest. Where a T-Shirt of one of your favorite fandoms. Doctor Who or Firefly is bound to be a conversation started.

Looks to me like you'd enjoy the lighter aspects of service. No harm in that. Whatever makes you hot, wet, horny, and hard.
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A better alternative to what? As in a better BDSM thread? Also, if you're going to get ass-blasted by someone's comments, a good way to hide it is by not mis-spelling words.

Well I know at least two other BSDM threads on /d/ alone I would trust for advice before you guys, considering some of the dangerous shit the namefags here come out with.

Also, you're still not contributing to the thread.
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>but what if you want to feel some pain too while maintaining your dominance?
Depends on the power dynamics you and your partner enjoy. Personally I like it when I just snap my fingers and point at the ground for a sub to kneel at my feet. Some people though LOVE to be wrestled down and beaten into submission. You could mearly tell a sub to hurt you as a service, find one that wants to be forced into submission, or anything in between. Find out what works for you and rock on.

>i really, REALLY want to try hypnosis.
Hey there, one of the former regulars in the IRC waaaaaaay back in the day. Hypnosis in and of itself is mostly just guided experience. You're goals are reasonable and very doable.

My advice would be w research "Washes" or "Resets." These are suggestions meant to remove other hypnosis. You'll want something with multiple triggers so it is always accessible to you. A reset can be as gentle or as strong as you need it. As small or wide scale as you require. This means if your boyfriend accidentally causes problems with hypnosis, you'll be able to remove or reduce any offending suggestions.

Another safety is to have a lengthy discussion of boundaries with your boyfriend. You'll want to be very clear on areas you are enthusiastic to try, what you are willing to try, and things you won't do.

These are also known as Want /Will /Won't lists, or Yes/ No/ Maybe lists. Useful tools for where to start off adventures in hypnosis.

Another safety is an "access lock." This is a simple addition to a trigger that acts like an on/off switch. Have a pleasure trigger for a common word or letter, but don't want it acting up? You can turn it off. These can be further customized to be restricted to people, locations, times, clothes you are wearing, etc. Want to have the a certain flavor of ice cream make you bark like a dog for 30 minutes, on a certain street, only while wearing a collar every other Tuesday? You can do that.
>>More on hypno safeties
Many people have questions on trancing. If you can follow guided visualization then you can trance. If you've ever read a book that stirred images and emotions in your mind then you can trance. Everything else is just a matter of practice.

>How can i get my ebf into bondage and latex?
I find most kinks are a matter of role modeling. If you can find couples who enjoy bondage and latex who can demonstrate their intimacy and pleasure in these kinks, then it's a pretty easy sell.

>considering some of the dangerous shit the namefags here come out with.
I will not stop recommending cuddle piles, cake, and hot chocolate to people. My deviant machinations will not be sated!
>STILL posting in the d thread
>STILL hasn't joined the skype group


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Feel like I should contribute something besides sarcasm; mid-20s male attracted to females. Relatively inexperienced in the extremes but I'm becoming bored of vanilla sex for anything besides romance.

I'm a little late, but you sound great and only a couple hours away. Would you feel comfortable with me looking up your munch group as my 2016 expectations are to join a munch?

I'll check back later for responses.
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Sure, the Youngstown group is a friendly place to meet new people. There is one guy who's scene name is Orhn. He's in his late 20s and I've had trouble with him knowing boundaries. He hasn't been a problem since I confronted him and let the munch organizers know to keep him in line.

Everything else I can say about the munch is positive. Star, Dani, and Paul are the organizers and all great people. Dani in particular is a wealth of information and stories who can talk for hours on all the adventures he's had. No shit, then man has bitch slapped a tiger.

You wouldn't be the first people who I've met through the thread at this munch.
Somethings i've been curious about getting into in terms of bdsm are wax play and electricity play but due to my dom not living close by and how i could seriously injure myself if i did it wrong I've been a bit scared to actually buy any the supplies needed for such play.
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Would you be willing to share any info on "deviant" events like munches and parties in Seattle? The only one I know about is Rain City TNG.
== Results from http://bdsmtest.org/ ==
94% Switch
87% Rigger
82% Rope Bunny
80% Primal (Hunter)
79% Dominant
76% Experimentalist
71% Submissive
68% Primal (Prey)
68% Vanilla
52% Brat Tamer
45% Masochist
44% Brat
42% Master/Mistress
30% Voyeur
25% Degrader
22% Owner
21% Slave
17% Degradee
16% Daddy/Mommy
15% Sadist
10% Girl/Boy
10% Pet
7% Exhibitionist
7% Ageplayer
3% Non-monogamist
>Looks to me like you'd enjoy the lighter aspects of service. No harm in that. Whatever makes you hot, wet, horny, and hard.
Interesting you say that, I really hate customer service style things (I know, different, but I see some relevance).
The main issue for me is I'm not even sure where to start to figure out where I stand for certain on these points.
I think it all boils down to how far down the rabbit hole am I ok with going, and to that, I'm not sure yet.
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That's why safewords exist. Always have them.
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well this thread has gone to shit.
What are your thoughts on zip ties? Are those viable?
So what is my best option for finding someone who scratch that itch?
Blind hope?
Fucking 4chan?
Which one would produce best results?
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You and I both know it's always the anons who come out with the pants on head retarded shit when it comes to safety.
Speaking of munches and clubs. Has anyone done the math on them?

Of course a lot of people visit several clubs and munches. But let's assume that they don't.

So we pick an area and calculate the maximum unique club and munch visitors. Then we see how large a % of that areas population it is.

Then we do an estimate of how large a % in that area are into BDSM and/or fetishism...
Keep them a bit looser so you can remove them and they should be OK.
hi i love all of you and i prefer to get my relationship advice from here and you guys have usually been super helpful so please have a nice day!
I'll never understand your ceaseless anti discussion shilling. At first I thought you were trying to encourage board migration but here we are a year later and you are still shitposting in these threads.
New climbing rope is terribad. Used climbing rope has the stretch taken out of it. The stretch is there to absorb a fall, but that stretch goes away after a few seasons of climbing.

I wouldn't worry about the cores, as long as you check to make sure all then fusing is intact, and you don't go beyond around 10M in length (of old, stretched rope) it will be just fine.

If you are doing suspension, you /WANT/ climbing - at least for the rope that is holding them up. Unless you are using 4-6 6-8mm pieces of new, high quality hemp, silk, or bamboo (and keeping the length of the run taking the strain less than 1-2M), I wouldn't trust any bondage-specific rope to hold my sub.

tl;dr - don't use Jute or linen for suspensions, ever. You can use Hemp, Silk, or Bamboo if it is new, thick enough, and kept short. Climbing rope is best for the actually suspending, but you may still want to use traditional rope on the sub themselves.
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There aren't even really namefags around anymore and there's much less discussion, but he's still at it. Bloody obsessed if you ask me.

Why do you say not to use jute? Everyone ever and their mum seems to use it and accidents are uncommon.
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Thanks for the reply. I'll check it out at my leisure.

Would looking for somebody to chat/experiment with qualify as shitposting? I've browsed often but never paid much mind to etiquette as i rarely (have) post (ed).

I saw girl/boy in high percents on a couple posts. I like a chat with a "girl" would be my ideal introduction to extreme bdsm.
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He never had any goal, you would call him out on how there was exactly the kind of pic-only thread he was demanding elsewhere on /d/ and he would start trolling the concept of safeword consent, you would post twenty kink pictures in a row because he wouldn't stop whine-posting (all without pics) and then the posts personally attacking identities begin, you defend the notion that rape isn't a legitimate form of S/m and he spends the next three threads calling everyone here's advice "dangerous", there was a "No names /bdsmg/" thread made just to shut him up that he began trolling immediately because he didn't really even want to win his little hissy fits.
Flagging his most overt hateposts for a ban will keep him away only until he finds a new proxy. You just know it's not even the trolling form of autism when this is actually how years of his life have been spent.
The only time he stopped for more than a week was when one of us trolled the Latex thread in retaliation. He's mentioned how he likes that one so I guess he wants two of them or something.
I don't for a single second believe he's actually a kinkster. It's just some /b/ reject who likes rapey porn and thinks messing with people is the whole point of 4chan existing. And a thread on how to do that responsibly, respectfully, and consentually is intollerable for him.
Sorry for taking so long to respond.
And I'm sorry that I don't know the answer to that. I've been very lucky offline and never had to search like you have. The painful truth is that it's always a matter of putting yourself out there and meeting new people. I know, I know, I hate that advise too.
But I can tell you that when you're trying to make that connection you just have to show the other person the love and compassion you can offer, it's like making friends: you start by being friendly to a stranger and sometimes they're friendly back and that continues until you're friends.
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How is posting dozens test results from a quiz "discussion"?
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Maybe you should all stop replying to the trolls and try to fix this community instead.

And youre calling >him obsessed?
Ah well, the advice is sound as much as you and I both hate to admit it. My issue is being bad at seizing opportunities.
Same as >>6665520, what did you do? Just get lucky with friends or bars/concerts or something like that?
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Fuck that shit, I just migrated to gfd. Which is also a complete clusterfuck, but at least it's active and people talk about kink. Why bother fixing this pile of shit when (a) the autist who shitposted it to death isn't leaving anytime soon and (b) we have a perfectly nice skype chat and irc anyway?

I liked everything about Other M except the plot and dialogue.

Never played Metroid for those anyway.
I that would mean allowing ... Oh wait... I'm not supposed to respond to you now.
FYI: The word "obsessed" is found nowhere in that post.
Why did this thread always get slammed so hard? Sure it had a few tripfags, how is that worse than any other internet forum. Fetlife group chat sucks, issues like the fact that all fetishists are old or obese are talked about in stupid ways.
>bending over for trolls/spammers due to fear of mods
Nope, ill ban evade if I need too. Im not gonna respect an adult to stop them from being autistic.
By lucky I mean lucky: first of all, I'm Zoolander pretty, so there's that.
Secondly, I discovered the be friendly stratagem early in life so I have had a large social circle to start with who all speak well of me.
Third, I was never pushing a sex agenda, I was always casual with people and so naturally put others at ease.
But in the end it's all just luck, you meet the perfect person by being in the right place at the right time and taking that opportunity when it presents itself.
Like I said; lucky.
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>having root canal done
>nitrous oxide hits
>eventually lose real world connection
>mfw I bet this is what subspace feels like
>I can't feel a fucking thing and I'm having a fetish party in my head staring as hard as I can at this dot on a drop ceiling
>high af and eventually lose track of everything
>they finish and I wake up to one of them saying "feel like a couple of girls have been beating up on you?"
>"Nah, I'm fine"

Dear /bdsmg/, today we learned that nitrous oxide is fun
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Serious question: How do you subs ever manage to hide your perv from decent society in the first place???

Serious answer: On meds? They don't. Don't take your family with you for support if you're going to give you anything. source: nurse.
>zoolander pretty
You bastard, that's luck right there.
>who all speak well of me
Fuck, pretty sure I lose there. I have a bit too much of asshole in my blood.
Well looks like I need to quit bowling, in theory, all of my luck there should transfer over to finding someone.
Conservation of luck exists, r-right?
(I knew that post would earn me your justified hate.)
I will admit attractive opens doors in every siituation and it's unfair to everyone else. Period.
But being physically attractive isn't as important to women as it is to men (you're a hetero guy here, right?), and we both know that in kink relationships there are other compatability factors that are more important and rare, but ultimately the most important part is always going to be personal compatability. If you get along well enough they will overlook almost anything, I promise you that.
Asshole is a sliding scale, are your friends assholes too? If so they might think you're at an average human level of asshole, and say so about you. Are you better or worse than the kind of sewage scum who you've seen otherwise intellegent women date? I've seen all kinds of worthless people land women who should know better, aren't you at least as good as them? If you're selfaware enough to ask yourself if you are an asshole you're already ahead of most people in the dating scene.
In any case, it's the social connections that's important: you're more likely to meet someone out bowling than sitting alone at home.
And if luck was finite in nature I would have been struck by lightning by now, wouldn't I have? It's more like that hippy idea: put out positive energy into the world and karma rewards you with less negativity all the time.
Good luck.
Not really hate, more envy in some ways. Yes to being hetero male, friends are definitely assholes as well, and it is sliding as to who's the worst in the group. Asked one of them and he said he tells others I'm just a surface asshole, and pretty good person once people take the time to know me, so I guess that I've got that going.
Yeah I was just joking with the conservation of luck, damnit engineering.
Thanks for the advice, pretty useful stuff. I'd buy you a beer if I knew ya as payment.
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>Why did this thread always get slammed so hard?

It didn't, it's literally one person saying all that, but the people who made bdsmg an actual community collectively went 'yeah fuck this autistic nonsense' and fucked off to our sekrit club. Because why share space with an obsessive forever alone vendetta faggot when you have the option of... not doing that?

Also lmao at how he's now trying to shit up gfd because someone mentioned migrating there. What an absolute child.
time for you to share some stories with us
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Because it's not an internet forum. It's an imageboard. That's why we got fucked so hard, thanks to some stubborn namefags.
>we were getting BTFO
>so we left and did exactly what /d/ wanted
>making me the victor

Stream that film if youre so great.
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== Results from http://bdsmtest.org/ ==
100% Submissive
99% Slave
99% Rope Bunny
99% Degradee
97% Masochist
90% Pet
89% Primal (Prey)
78% Brat
73% Girl/Boy
69% Experimentalist
29% Vanilla
15% Ageplayer
3% Non-monogamist
2% Sadist
1% Exhibitionist
0% Dominant
0% Owner
0% Brat Tamer
0% Voyeur
0% Rigger
0% Switch
0% Master/Mistress
0% Degrader
0% Daddy/Mommy
0% Primal (Hunter)
See my results online at http://bdsmtest.org/result.php?id=1413670

welp dunno how to respond to that
I do.
You are so beta that you are the beta omega; the most beta of betas.

You form the socially appropriate neuroses and shame or you dont. There are rewarding and punishing consequences for either option.

I'm going to make the unjustified but plausible claim that it (this one element of kink) sucks worse in America. American culture has a moral disgust for caring about what others think and acting according to what someone else asks.
>Something new

I should wear more latex around house.
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Start slow and be willing to stop and take breaks. Be up front in communicating to a partner that this is new to you. You want to explore and find out what you like. As you gain experience then your expectations are going to change from the ones developed in a vacuum.

>That's why safewords exist. Always have them.
Seconding that safewords are a good idea.

Viable, yes, but have enough space so at least two fingers can fit between the subject and zip tie. I'd recommend duct tap just under the lock of the zip tie so it doesn't accidentally cinch closed during play.

>Math There are a bunch more factors to take into consideration. Reputation of the group, knowledge the group exists, even social anxiety plays a part into it.

Yeah, that's about the short of it. Strangely enough he never responded to my counter troll posts. Shame he never posted where he lives. It would make for a fascinating meet up.
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>Maybe you should all stop replying to the trolls and try to fix this community instead.
My darling little "Zippy" who I've missed you. Where have you been all this time? Here I thought you'd forgotten about this little corner of the internet. Have you been thinking about me while you've been gone? I hope you have. Do you think about me every morning? I hope you do. When you type a post on your keyboard I want you to slowly think about how you're going to try to hurt me.

I see you trying to troll other people, you saucy minx. Jealousy only makes my heart grow fonder. You know you belong to me.

Mine. Forever.

Why beat around the bush? Let's meet up. I've posted many times I live in Ohio. Of you live anywhere within 500 miles I'll make it a weekend trip to come out and see you. Won't that be simply magical? After all this time and 4chan we'll finally get to know each other.

So what do you say my darling "Zippy" ? Let's make some magic happen.
>still believing the people criticizing you are one person
What makes it even more hilarious is that this has been going on for at least a year.
You simply do not understand how more than one person hates your guts, do you?

You will never learn anyway. Army scum.
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>Nitrous oxide
I'm a little jelous of all the people with fun stories like that. When I had my wisdom teeth taken out I just went to sleep and woke up groggy. My sister was gabbering like a lunatic when she had hers taken out, but I just slept in the car.

>sekrit club
What is this sekrit club? I love sekrit clubs.

>stubborn namefags
Hey! I resemble that remark.

Welcome to the thread! *noseboop*

I've heard good things about recreational latex. More so that if you want to keep wearing latex then you have to learn how to properly put it on and maintain it. For all the love latex gets it is a surprisingly fragile material.

Sweetie, I'd be happy if you all got into a van to come visit all at once. We'd have the most wonderful evening together.
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>You simply do not understand how more than one person hates your guts, do you?
Hmmm. Say it again. Slower, deeper, and in a bedroom voice. Don't forget eye contact babe. I want your full attention.
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Hush now my sweet precious. I hoped you seethed when you typed it our. I bet you had the most delicious lines of loathing creasing your face. Remember this when you feel the urge to stray to another.

No one will ever love you like I do, my darling "Zippy.".
You don't love me. You don't even know me. Plus I'm not Zippy. What are you doing? Ignoring us didn't work so now you try to make us gay for you? Pathetic.
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>What is this sekrit club? I love sekrit clubs.

The skype chat that p much everyone is hanging out in. It's pretty comfy so message me on FL if you want added, you know who I am on there.
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Sweet music to my ears my feisty little trollop. I love it when you push back. You know how hard it makes me.

Zippy my darling, promise me you'll never change. Never leave me again. When you leave I just want to grab your hand and pull you back to bed.
Don't worry. Nothing will change.
Why don't you pay some attention to this >>6668354
post from your namefagging little friend there and gtfo /d/?
Silly little troll, Zippy The Troll isn't just a person:
He's the spirit of having more hatred than brains, the little voice in a skinhead head that says to commit that hatecrime, he's the giggling slow-witted child who breaks the stolen toys he wanted to play with.
Yes Virgin, there is a Zippy, and he is in all of you.
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And leave you behind darling? Shhhh, it's alright. It's ok if you don't understand. I Need you my scrumptious little sweet. You've been gone all this time, and I've been so lonely. Needing you and pining for you in these long months of absence. I just want to tie you down, bind you in a collar so where ever you go, people will always know you're mine.
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Funny you should say that because I've always figured that the Puritanical influence while overtly suppressing kink creates the very atmosphere conducive to the psychology of kinksters. You don't get this need to struggle against instinct and the perverting and eventual gluttony of sexuality without a metaphorical box to seal it all away in. If sexuality is allowed to develop naturally you wouldn't see as many abnormal inclinations.
Just report and move along
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You're onto something, but I think it depends on the person. I think some people would enjoy BDSM regardless of the cultural context. I think some people are more likely to develop sexuality interest in something under the umbrella "Forbidden Fruit."

Then the whole thing gets complicated when certain activities have a plethora of sexaul, non-sexual, social, and emotions effects. Most spankos (a term spanking enthusiasts in my area like to use.) tend to have very complicated and nuanced feelings on their kink.

I wish modern psychology techniques were more available in Victorian era London. Now there is a period of reputed sexual repression I would have liked to study.

Also, excellent choice for nun on demon action.

A fine reminder that I still have a thing for sexy silver haired women in bondage.
Zippy uses the mythical SuperSayan "proxy" technique to douchebag around the rules.
And he always throws a giant fire-breathing gorilla tantrum when he gets back.
Plus, he has to actually post something that no mod could ever let slide otherwise by reporting him you risk the ban for frivolous reporting.
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A pic does need to adhere to a post's theme whenever possible.
You would probably enjoy reading the case studies of Sigmund Freud. There's also the suggestive works of Byron, Oscar Wilde, and let's not forget Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde was crazy popular at that time too. All very telling in their own ways. And believe it or not, some porn from that era has survived and there's a bit of S/m imagery among it. Spanking mostly.
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>Be a switch
>Only seem to attract sub-leaning vanilla girls
>Desperately want to be my gf's qt fuckboy
>But it'll never happen
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Just so you know, our irc group just got linked to this group again, as well as others I assume. Its sad to see nothing has changed.

If after all this time you guys are still acting this way, I think you might want to consider just closing off and becoming a private group. You seem to be inviting negative attention.

On top of that, youre giving BDSM a bad name, but I doubt you care about that.

...I cannot see that relationship going that way at all.
probably the best thread to ask this...
there was this guide to anal pleasure flying around here a ages ago - i am currently looking for it - but i can only find /b/ guide from 2005 or so via google.
Wow, so someone else who we as a general random anonymous population of internet kinksters are by definition not associated with has linked by their own independent personal action this publically accessable BDSM discussion thread to YOUR irc group and that reflects poorly upon YOU... because... why?
This is public discussion. Talking. My God! The shame of it!
You think that hiding away the very concept of BDSM from the public is going to solve your own personal image problems? How would that work exactly?
And why exactly is your little irc so wonderous that by default any exposure to other conversations about S/m is inherently detrimental to what you've created in total isolation?
And why is it that you think the obligation of withdrawal falls upon a public forum when confronted with the minority opinion of your limited irc population?
What did you think gave your select individuals the right to dictate to the masses?
Get over yourself.
God damn. I never realized how fucking cancerous this thread was until those fucking tests started showing up. You all fucking suck.
Technically the impetus of metastasis is that testing website itself and the trolling (like your post) that has exploited this silly activity expressly for the purpose of denigrating a 4chan thread that you don't have to troll, or even lurk, in the first place. Your insistence upon repeatedly acting in the manner you know has brought you emotional turmoil before is a symptom of severe psychological dysfunction. Work out you sad little brain issues somewhere else.

tl;dr: You are part of the very problem you are complaining about. If you stop doing this /bdsmg/ lurking that brings you such misery you will not bitch about your misery here anymore.
For real, just take this advice and everybody wins, even you!
Don't you want to be a winner for once in your life?
I know you do.<3
I'm happy that you learned how to use the synonym feature, but you need to actually learn how to use the words correctly before you post them.
First of all, you get points for not latching onto that typoe of mine in your completely dismissive post about an irrelevance. Feel fleeting smugness about that if you must because you've also undermined yourself. The very argument you ignore seems to have been validated by your lack of actual objection to the content itself. Ironic.
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For one, that's not the poster who made the original "you all fucking suck post" that was me. For two, get off your high horse seriously. You sound like an edgy 13 year old trying to sound smart. You're not even using the word ironic correctly. Are you that stupid? For three, if you're going to act like a fucking retard, at least post some content.

Oh, and to respond to your post about mine, it's not trolling. I genuinely hate this fucking thread now. It used to be a place for good porn and good advice. I've had plenty of great conversations on here before but now it's just infighting and bdsm test results that no one gives a shit about. Seriously, this thread is fucking cancer
Did you ever stop to think that maybe I agreed with the content?

You're post was a very long and overly verbose way of saying "If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem". At least that's how I interpreted it. And I agree with that. Everyone involved needs to sit the fuck down.
The notion that a full vocabulary negates an opinion is dumbing down discourse for the sake of dumbing down.
Trolling is by definition initiating an interaction for the solitary purpose of undermining a thread's intended purpose.
Please explain to me how "You all cancer, me hate you! Me post this complaint five more times this week! Talk stupider now or you retard!" is conducive to a functional BDSM thread.
You've claimed that you have the thread's best interests at heart, yetr here you are badmouthing it in lieu of any actual on-topic contribution.
How does that work? Explain that to this "retard" who argues for posts that aren't repeating pointless contempt.
I think the threads are better without that continuous whine in them.
Why am I wrong?
Damn, this is one cancerous post.
I didn't say you were wrong. I said you were overly verbose. I also did not say that I had the thread's best interest at heart, though you can infer that. I know for a fact that I din't badmouth the thread. In fact, the only things I sad were pointing out that you used unnecessarily complex words to make a point I agreed with.

I agree with you that repetitive and pointless posts that contribute nothing to the thread should stop.
Still nothing to say then?
Sit there and try very very hard to think of words that make any kind of reasoned argument for why you as a poster and as a person aren't completely worthless to this thread.
I bet you can't. No matter how hard you try you can't prove to anyone here that you are worth anything to anyone on /bdsmg/.
Isn't that true? Didn't you know that already? Honestly? I think you did.
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and after this glorious smorgasbord of almost entirely anonymous shitposting, people will still say 'man, those bdsmg namefags, they just fuck everything up!'
Sorry Hex. My bad.
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because as we all know it's entirely possible to delete your name and type "anonymous" in the bar to protect what remains of your "image" i guess
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