Thunderbolts featuring Luke Cage Storytime (Part 5)

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I know, I know, I picked a shitty comic to come back with, but there's a good bit in this that I think you'll like.

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I bet Boomerang never tells THIS particular story.

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Especially the part where he has to be saved by a little girl, Asgardian or not.

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In case you don't remember, Centurius is the team asshole, in a team with a lot of assholes.

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>dontmocktheShocker.jpg

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I'd say Satanna is best girl... but there's a surprising amount of contenders for the title in this team.

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>Fear Itself
>Juggernaught

If you know about this event, you know how this goes.

>>90963796
Isn't that Boomerang? Or am I thinking Suicide Squad?

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Yeah, Marko's got some issues now.

>>90963921
>now
He's had issues since his first appearance. He was pretty fleshed out for a Silver Age X-men baddie.

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>>90963897
... Okay, Centurius is the "superior to all of you" asshole.

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>>90963940
New ones, I mean.

>>90963942
Yeah, that works. And Boomerang isn't as much of a dick here as he is in say, Superior Foes. Before that point one of the redeeming features of Booms was that he's a team player.

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>"Fortune smiles upon you all, as a true scientist has been on this the entire time."

See? The kind of asshole who takes the time to make sure you know hos smart he is.

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A Hulk reference, or a joke about him acting British? YOU DECIDE!

>>90964001
So, he's basically /co/'s collective headcanon of Reed Richards.

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That don't sound good...

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So yeah, Juggernaught with Thor hammer. This won't end badly for ANYONE.

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>Wrecking Crew appears

How long until they job to someone? Any bets?

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I think Iceman's gonna sue someone for copyright.

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>>90964061
I don't think he brags about his stretchy junk, but yeah.

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You know what they say about Honor and Thieves.

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This is probably the most threatening Shocker has been shown in years, and that's a crying shame.

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>>90964174
Thanks for the bump, PreacherAnon.

>>90964284
No Problem

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This is what happens when you put an Avenger in charge of the prison. Avengers duties can get in the way.

>>90963640
Hey! Welcome back.
Some Monday we're having, huh?

Probably not going to stay up for this whole thing tonight, but lessee how far I get.

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>Double-Sized special

We got us a big one, Anons!

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Fuck, we've STILL got to deal with Crossbones?

>>90964321
I'm not sure how much any Warden could do about a souped up Juggernaut bringing the whole prison down round their ears.

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So, who are those two chucklefucks?

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Some Karla-butt for those of you who like that, and I know you're here.

>>90964447
Nice Pose Melissa.

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>>90964337
Monday? Aw crap, what did I miss?

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>cutting Living Laser with a boomerang

Ah, so he can use the Boomerang Force.

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Uh, Shocker? That's not a Thunderbolt symbol. Even if it was, why would you put it over your junk?

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Yeah, they aren't NEARLY as reformed as they act.

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Hyde of mur... oh wait, wrong kind of neck snap.

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>>90964502
I guess it's to jump off the wall, but it's not like it should work.

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>>90964532
That one's just Shalvey, it looks like.

>>90964258
Every woman except for Troll is drawn the exact same way

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>Maybe even the X-Men will decide to help

Thanks for posting. Really enjoying Parkerbolts so far, I only came on right as the title switch happened.

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Aw no.

>>90964686
Agreed

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And now, a Karla solo story. How much Keikaku do you think we'll get?

>>90963921
>now

He's been issues city since his first appearance.

>>90964656
4u Shocker.

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>>90964721
At least Troll isn't.

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Poundcakes was one of the original "Grapplers", along with Titania, Letha, and Songbird, back when she went by Screaming Mimi.

>>90963942
That's some Skrull looking text there.

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The fourth panel on this page is the source for the "Namor has a tiny dick" idea.

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>>90964790
No problem, Anon.

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>"It's on like Mao Zedong!"

Is that a thing people used to say, or can they not say Donkey Kong?

>>90964958
Marian knows her Steve Gerber.

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If you didn't see this coming, you don't know anything about Karla.

>>90964514
Is jokes.
You're three days later than you said you'd be.

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Aw yeah, the best characters in the book together!

>>90964121
3 pages. This is an Everyone Gets a Thor episode, after all.

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>>90964944
I vaguely remember someone saying the "runes" are supposed to actually be something?

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>>90965063
Fair enough, I left my laptop at my buddy's place, and I didn't get it back until today.

>>90965118
In Fear Itself they were actually using Futharc stylerunes (albeit in nonsense orders) here it's... not that.

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>>90965029
I swear, I'll get to Gerber's Man-Thing eventually. I finally finished the 90's Doctor Strange!

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>>90965111
Looks like they just took off, without fighting ANYONE.

>>90964354
That is a movie poster grade cover.

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Aw look, they're working together now.

>>90964382
And with the added bonus of Tieri at that?

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Ghost can fly, right? Why is he staying so low?

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I guess this idiot wasn't around when Walker beat the shit out of a bunch of guys.

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>>90965203
I'd say editors should've caught that, but we all know the meme...

>>90964930
That's just poor security design

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>>90965258
Not even a good movie either!

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oh boy, because we all want more of this guy, right?

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Remember Anons, Crossbones is known as the guy who shot Captain America. Hell, the guard may have paid THEM to kill him.

>>90964790
In a just world, Parker would be more celebrated than he is for being at least a solid 8 of a writer.

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>>90965330
Nobody ever credited Marvel engineers with good sense, Anon.

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So, who the fuck is this?

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Well shit, that escalated quickly.

>>90964958
She's a fucking fish. She's probably just disappointed he doesn't produce enough ejaculate to properly impregnate her dozens of extruded eggs.

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>>90965406
Sadly, we live in the world of Bendis and Slott.

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God damn it, why would you tell him that NOW?

>>90965222
It's always nice to have finished something. I'm rereading Secret Six and seriously thinking about storytiming it as a replacement JSA thread when the regular is gone. Have you read it before?

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So yeah, that ended predictably.

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oh no, who could've seen this one coming?

Bolts!

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And this is why you don't trust fucking Crossbones!

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>>90965479
He apparently managed to seduce that one snake-woman in Gillen's X-Men, so the problem may be with her.

>>90963866
Nah, she is best in general.

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Yeah, Fear Itself went fucking Wolfenstein for a bit, before they decided that the Serpent shit is more interesting.

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>>90965529
No, but I have the first few trades on my shelf, so next time my electronics shit the bed, which is becoming a sadly frequent occurrence, I'll read that.

Unlike most storytimers, I was an anime/manga nerd growing up, and I only got into comics pretty recently, so I've got a LOT of catching up to do.

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>>90965580
After the Zubbolts, it's like a breath of fresh air to see the team written competently, isn't it?

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>that fucking Karla salute

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>>90965627
I'm just saying, there's people who argue Karla or Melissa, and even a few people who say Troll is best girl.

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>"He is sensing strong fear from everywhere."

And you know what happens with Fear and Man-Thing, right?

>>90965607
Okay. Cashing out here to get to bed.

>>90965629
>before they decided that the Serpent shit is more interesting.
I kinda wanna say "wrongly" there, because man the Serpent was kinda just meh.

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Speaking of Man-Thing, I read the R.L. Stein issue. Is that typical of Man-Thing, or is it weird to people who've read it too?

>>90965677
I keep being astonished by how badly Zub has shit the bed and not just on the characterization front.

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In case it's not blindingly obvious from her name Satanna isn't exactly the kind of person who you want to annoy.

>>90965656
Well, if you are around tomorrow night, I'll storytime the intro (Villains United) at the regular JSA time

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>>90965758
>I kinda wanna say "wrongly" there, because man the Serpent was kinda just meh.

I'll say it for you then. The Avengers vs. Wolfenstein Nazis is the kind of B-movie shit I'd love to read. The Serpent was just boring.

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>Pimp-Five

>>90964624
Does being a Spider-Man baddie make you a wimp?

>>90965723

Karla and Melissa are better, Satana only has crazy girl sex appeal.

While both Songbird and Moonstone have sex appeal, they developed outside it or in some ways inspite of it.

Unfortunately satana has gotten caught up in waypool's of the world.

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And the Emmy goes to...

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... someone else, because Juggernaught ain't having any of this!

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Try to keep in mind what symbol means who, because that'll be really useful.

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>>90965838
Given what a relative heavyweight Spidey is, it shouldn't, but people always love to laugh at Quilt-Man.

>>90965829

>Top level sofen bantz

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>>90965842
>Unfortunately satana has gotten caught up in waypool's of the world.

Is that where she's been post-Parkerbolts?

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Well, fuck, that didn't work out so well.

>>90965943
>>90965909
Pretty cool art

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>>90965946
And what we have here, is so low-level Sofen Bantz.

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>>90965784
Hopefully I'll wake up on time, and I'll be posting in the daytime.

>>90965763
He talks. Which is a bit weird, but not without precedent.

>>90965967

That was pre-parkerbolts if I remember, her team up with deadpool was before this part of the thunderbolts.

I don't know where she is right now.

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Well, that blows.

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Is it wrong that I kind of like this cover?

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>>90966048
Well, talking NORMALLY is a bummer. I was hoping it'd be... well, I won't spoil it for those of you who haven't read this before.

>>90966048

Which is coming up soon in this run of thunderbolts but honestly he was being evolved up..

I didn't think that characterization stuck the landing so to speak, parkerbolts did a lot of unique things with characters.

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In case you're curious where Juggernaught's flying off to, read Gillen's X-Men.

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>>90966059
Man, it's been so long since I read Waypool, I genuinely don't remember anything that happened after Dark Reign.

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How much "darker" can your magic get?

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In case you forgot, in addition to being a genius psychiatrist, with super strength, energy blasts, and flight, Karla also has superhuman durability.

It's a credit to the writing for most of the series that it never occurs to you just how OP Karla is.

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All that's left is Ghost!

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>"For the record, I wasn't worried about YOU."

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Karla spent too much time with Osborn, it seems.

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Because of that "bloody hard", my internal voice for Karla now has a British accent.

Just felt like sharing that tidbit with you all.

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What we don't see is the rest of the rocket smacking into SWORD's base, annoying Brand and letting ANOTHER alien race slip past her.

>>90966306
I found myself using the Dark Knight Rises voice for Bane in S6, and man does it not remotely fit

>>90966210

I mean, she regularly went up against ms.marvel, to survive and win and survive and lose, you still need to be pretty OP

Even if she was rocking more than one moonstone for a long time.

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Leave it to Karla to complain at the last second.

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>>90966343
>I mean, she regularly went up against ms.marvel

She really didn't fight Carol that often. It was just Dark Reign.

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Damn it Fixer, you REALLY need to get over your boyfriend.

>>90966400
checking out here, goodnight op

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>>90966328
Try the Batman TAS voice, it may fit better.

>>90966325

>Karla wants a giant statue of her to look like its peeing down on chicago

>>90966306

this whole bit has a weird sexual thing to it, kind of funny.

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In case you weren't here for it, and because Desu went down during it, Satanna's first mission basically involved a WW1-era German castle filled with sentient zombies, that eventually managed to teleport the entire castle.

>>90966376

I thought it happened more than that. Hmm

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>>90966418
No problem Anon. See you later.

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>>90966434
Karla can be surprisingly lewd when she wants to. Don't forget, she one time made her clothes vanish while she was with Hawkeye once, JUST to mess with Melissa (and because she wanted his arrow)

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>>90966458
Probably a few times DURING Dark Reign, since Bendis decided to make her the new Ms. Marvel, but aside from that time period, the two women have nothing to do with each other.

>>90966400
I always do wonder if Parker planned to bring Zemo back on the team at some point, too. Some of the stuff only a couple of issues laters seemed to hint at it.

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Welp, that happened.

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Last issue for the night, Anons!

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>>90966503
I don't think he COULD since Brubaker was turning him back into a villain after Busiek and FabNic made him an anti-hero.

cage thunderbolts are the fucking worst.

>>90966553

>Literally the most contrarian opinion of all time.

Let me guess you like Zubbolts?

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Huh, that's a neat trick.

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I like to imagine there's one guy who moved here after Hulk wrecked New York, and is now wondering why bad things keep happening to him.

>>90966553
No that's Buckybolts.

>>90966569

Is it just me is she getting more OP by the issue (Songbird)

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>iveseenenoughhentai.jpg

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God damn Troll, that axe is bigger than you!

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>"Drink that serum, Zabo, or I will pour it down your throat!"
>"But... this is far too large a dose..."
>proceeds to literally pour it down his throat

Fixer has had enough of this shit.

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Because I know some of you filthy perverts want to see more Troll thigh.

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Aw look, Man-Thing's protecting his waifu.

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>>90966553
Anon, at least wait a few months for us to forget "The Winter Soldier: Featuring the Thunderbolts".

File: Thunderbolts 162-012.jpg (2MB, 1988x3056px) Image search: [Google]

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Hyde, no! Stop being a bad influence on Troll!

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Is Satanna part Succubi, or is she just a pervert?

File: Thunderbolts 162-014.jpg (2MB, 1988x3056px) Image search: [Google]

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>>90966599
I can't recall how far the power creep goes, but now that you mention it...

File: Thunderbolts 162-015.jpg (1MB, 1988x3056px) Image search: [Google]

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>when your best friend doesn't like your choice in men

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Are you ready for a page that almost makes this entire thing worth it?

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GIANT-SIZE MAN-THING!

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God DAMN it!

>>90966752

A large man thing.

File: Thunderbolts 162-019.jpg (2MB, 1988x3056px) Image search: [Google]

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Huh, usually Satanna's "dark aspect" is more red and "obviously demonic", unless Fixer is talking out of his ass.

File: Thunderbolts 162-020.jpg (2MB, 1988x3056px) Image search: [Google]

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Do I just have a bad reference pool, or was Ghost's joke really obscure?

File: Thunderbolts 162-021.jpg (2MB, 1988x3056px) Image search: [Google]

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And that's it for tonight, Anons. See you tomorrow, as we see what happened to the rest of the team.

See you then!

>>90966814

Thanks bro.

>>90963640
Welcome back, OP! I was worried you'd an heroed.

>>90966835
As much as life shits on me lately, I'd never do that!

All my stuff's here.

>>90966291
>Nuking Chicago
Furthermore is anyone in the Midwest offended by what ghost said here?

>>90966893

Chicago is mostly just corporate complexes between a sea of highways.

All of the true industry is gone from the city, which is why economy doesn't matter to most of chicago, their jobs are reliant on business in other states, countries.

The rest is service jobs and all of poverty is just left over from loss of manufacturing and produce base that it lost.

>>90966680
>Shocker running away like that
And now for some alleged backstory

Parker wanted to keep using Shocker, but he had to give him up because Slott wanted to use him in Spider-island.Now I hear you ask, what did Shocker do in Spider-island?

Absolutely nothing, shows up, turns into a giant spiders and then enters irrelevant status.

And them thighs
>>90966210
You think she is OP now? When she had two Moonstones that was her true OP status.

>>90966701
I think her mom was human, but that could just me be seeing cliches where there are none to be found.

>>90966862
Nah, jokes aside, I had no doubt.

Can't exactly name yourself after IF and then check out before the premiere.

>>90964094
how will they stop him

>>90966954
So are you as a Midwesterner offended?

>>90967086

not at all, chicago gave up its growing and was shackled with bad policies, and state would be in a better condition without it being there (if it got nuked) at least economically.

I love the city though, and am used to seeing people from coasts dismissive of us.

We're the one stop between a vast country of flyover states apparently. Going from coast to coast so to speak.

So not really, people shittalking midwest is a usual thing. And way bears are playing, we kind of deserve it.

>>90967086
Speaking as a Midwesterner getting offended about Coastfags talking shit is like getting offended about the sun rising.

File: Ghost Character Designs by Declan Shalvey.jpg (166KB, 600x862px) Image search: [Google]

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I love this team.

>>90967304

I actually found thunderbolts pretty late and it was a nice little gem of an arc, I was looking for stories involving juggernaut and it just blew me away and then I found moonstone/songbird and ghost. I managed to find at least 3 characters I didn't even knew existed, I was like fuck yeah.

You don't get that feeling of finding hidden gems in rough but yeah, I love this team too.

I didn't realize how much I missed this team. Not knocking any of the current runs/writers, but it just seems like the Marvel landscape was a lot more diverse pre-NOW.

>>90967791
To be fair, the current Bolts title is fucking awful.

>>90966893
I live in kansas and I can tell you it's shit.

>>90967791
>>90966814
It's just a shame that the series turned shit after this arc

>>90965406
Praise Parker

>>90965584
And the next time he would show up was in another terrible Spiderman event, in Israel. Shooting their only mutant
>Oy Vey

>>90966173
Well, she hasn't sacrificed a goat or a child yet.

>>90966796

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Chicago_Fire#Rumors_about_the_fire

Good old Irish racism

>>90970548
Ghost is a most informed man.

>>90966130
>Probably years until the X-Men storytime gets there
RIP

>>90966553
I struggle to imagine how you could be more wrong.

>>90966680
That face of "oh shit, we can eat these things?" is fantastic, though.

>>90966701
I think Satanna just wants a continuation of when they met a few issues ago and she fondled Moonstone

>>90964544
Speedsters have the speedforce
Boomerang-users have the boomerang-force

>>90974327
The thighs are even better

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>>90974361

In celebration of anon story-timing my favorite squad, I'll post unaltered version for anons to enjoy.

>>90978175
Do you got any more unaltered?

>>90975979
> 2016

I hope Shalvey does interiors for Marvel again in the future. Not to say Injection isn't bad, but there's something about the art that bothers me, even though Shalvey/Bellaire look fine everywhere else.

>>90978978
Thats the only Parkerbolts one. There's one for early Thunderbolts, with a topless Meteorite, but that's not exactly relevant.

>>90963640
Is desustorage down for good or what? All these links go to dead ends.

>>90981227
DESU was dead for like two weeks, and they are apparently trying to import images from other storage sites right now. The most recently link that works is from the second Thunderbolts storytime (third from bottom)

>>90981330
All of them go to the "This domain is for sale" splash page for me

>>90981364
These are the three most recent that work for me, but my:
http://desuarchive.org/co/thread/90308529/
http://desuarchive.org/co/thread/90280660/
http://desuarchive.org/co/thread/90246594/

I found this as a possible explanation:

https://desuarchive.org/desu/thread/1250/