Currently has 11 negative reviews and 0 positive reviews
>"No child should be exposed to this."
-Soren Anderson, Seattle Times
>"Rob Schneider is somehow the least lazy part of Norm Of The North[...]Not since Bratz has this writer seen a screenplay so carelessly written, a sort of "Dear John" letter to Hollywood that goes out of its way to paint actors and directors as megalomaniacal idiots."
-Katie Rife, AV Club
>"So ill-conceived that it will insult the intelligence of a kindergartener."
-Frank Swietek, One Guy's Opinion
>"Your children deserve better."
-Brian Orndorf, blu-ray.com
Honestly, this is a movie that deserves to be shat upon. Two years ago, I don't think The Nut Job deserved to be. Yes, it wasn't a great movie, but it was entirely serviceable and they actually put effort into it. And Gangnam Style was only used in the credits - which gave people an incentive to get out quicker.
Nut Job ended up with a 10% on RT. It's user vote of 44% is probably more accurate.
>When even the fearless/shameless Ken Jeong doesn't appear to have done more than show up and collect his paycheck, you know the movie's in trouble.
If anyone is morbidly curious
>The real world can be a BEAR
>it makes one long for something like “Foodfight!”, the inexplicably expensive and barely released toon boasting Charlie Sheen and corporate mascots that looks like it was designed on a 1997 Windows program by your technophobe grandfather. That at least gives you something to work with, whereas “Norm” barely deserves a pun write-off, like calling it “un-bear-able.”
More like how ridiculous the premise was
>that whole court scene
>that obnoxious celebrity cameo
>that interspecies attraction, even the human bf admitted he was fucking jealous
I only like the first half of this movie that explored how the bees work
I'm going to watch this.
I'm going to buy a ticket, and I'm going to watch this.
Not a single god damn one of you can stop me. I need to see this motherfucker on a big screen. I am so morbidly curious.
>Oh weird, that thing is pretty creepy I guess.
>You must have a lot of balls to let that thing pinch you like that
>Oh wait, it's mandibles are actually getting stuck in the flesh and that twitch is it yanking them out
Don't do it. That middle aged couple who bought tickets so they can spice up their sex life with a little low-risk public sex in an empty theatre don't deserve to have wasted their matinee price just because you're morbidly curious.
>One researcher described the pain as "…immediate, excruciating pain that simply shuts down one's ability to do anything, except, perhaps, scream. Mental discipline simply does not work in these situations."
>The female tarantula hawk stings and paralyzes a tarantula, then drags the specimen to a specially prepared brooding nest, where a single egg is laid on the spider’s abdomen, and the entrance is covered. Sex of the larvae is determined by fertilization; fertilized eggs produce females while unfertilized eggs produce males. When the wasp larva hatches, it creates a small hole in the spider's abdomen, then enters and feeds voraciously, avoiding vital organs for as long as possible to keep the spider alive. After several weeks, the larva pupates. Finally, the wasp becomes an adult, and emerges from the spider's abdomen to continue the life cycle.
Game over man, game over.
Some more reviews are in!
>"Not special, not new, not funny, and not that interesting."
-Nell Minow, Beliefnet
>"We had to wait 12 months to see the dumbest and most superficial animated kid's comedy of 2015 (Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip). In 2016, we only had to wait 15 days."
-Dann Gire, Chicago Daily Herald
>Get on plane for to go home for New Year's
>Plane takes off
>Flight stewardess comes onto the PA to announce they have a "special treat" for us
>Some passengers reveal they were just wearing masks, it's Adam Sandler and his posse
>Adam tells us they're here to have a special screening of the Ridiculous Six
>Kevin James sits next to me and demands a lobster hoagie or else he will crash the plane by flooding the plane with DVDs of Zookeeper
>Rob Schneider tells us not to vaccinate our kids
>Nick Swardson is killed by trying to hide in the engines like Dave Chapelle in Con Air
>There are people going to see this glorified money laundering scheme
What the fuck man why would you do that.
Man fuck nature
Anyone who takes nature over society is a flaming faggot who doesn't know the true hardships of what nature forces into you
>he does not consider society part of the nature
And Darwin, and Lamarck, and Newton, and Einstein and modern science....
I guess? It's a Live Action/Animation hybrid, but I can't think of anything else that came out around that time that could count.
Unless that guy really hated The Good Dinosaur.
>LE ZOMBIE WORM bullshit again
It does not control the "thought" of those animals. They barely have any thought! They take control of the nervous system, which is a different thing, so they can send impulses on the body and screw up the animal behavior in their favor, and only that
It is not even that rare thing. When with worms in a human body, a person may feel a incredible urge to eat sand/rocks. That's because the worms are screwing up your system so they can get bigger and increase their population That's why kids are so prune to eat sand. Mostly times is their first worm infection happening.
>being forced to eat something because something inside you is fucking with your nervous system
>It's possible that director Trevor Wall and his associates at Splash Entertainment and Telegael went into this with the best of intentions and really do believe they've made a family film for the ages. But they haven't. This is garbage.
Apparently it took 3 writers to script this. Probably won't come as a surprise that the chucklefucks behind it mainly specialise in direct-to-DVD fare like Dr. Dolittle: Million Dollar Mutts and Beethoven’s Christmas Adventure.
>That's why kids are so prune to eat sand. Mostly times is their first worm infection happening.
Y-you're making it sound like it's common for worms to infect children and force them to eat dirt and rocks. You're just talking about third world countries, r-right?
No no, fuck that, oh god, that was bad. Fucking Christ, I feel like my time was actually wasted seeing half of this trailer that I could not finish it.
Fuck dude, I feel bad for the kids and parents that are forced to see this.
No dude, don't! You can do better things with those 2 hours you will waste by seeing this shit. You can see any other movie or, or just do anything but see this abomination! Please, don't hurt yourself this way.
>"They also dance with our hero, who does his signature number, the “Arctic Shake,” to various insufferable contemporary pop hits at various points throughout the movie. The sequence was clearly animated once and dropped into different locations as needed, which, along with the out-of-the-box character and location design, implies that even the animators on this film put forth a minimum of effort." - AV Club
holy fuck trailers are supposed to make the movie look good
So your body will be hijacked while your mind is (mostly) intact.
Anon, that's even worse.
God these are my favorite. I love shit like this. Oogieloves and Chipmunks 4. Movies no one asked for, no one wanted, and yet here they are with some kind of significant budget. And you can see how the budget gets farted away.
This shit's gonna make Foodfight look like The Iron Giant.
Didn't expect to fear every little itch my body has going in to this thread
Tarantula hawk wasps are relatively docile and rarely sting without provocation. However, the sting—particularly that of P. grossa—is among the most painful of any insect, though the intense pain only lasts about three minutes. One researcher described the pain as "…immediate, excruciating pain that simply shuts down one's ability to do anything, except, perhaps, scream. Mental discipline simply does not work in these situations." In terms of scale, the wasp's sting is rated near the top of the Schmidt sting pain index, second only to that of the bullet ant, and is described by Schmidt as "blinding, fierce [and] shockingly electric". Because of their extremely large stingers, very few animals are able to eat them; one of the few animals that can is the roadrunner.
But Foodfight actually has something of a reason as to why it was so awful- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foodfight!#Production
"Finally, in 2011, the film was auctioned for $2.5 million. StoryArk investors had ultimately invoked a clause in their contract that allowed the Fireman's Fund Insurance Company, which had insured Foodfight!, to complete and release the film as inexpensively and quickly as possible."
So the animation was, in a lot of ways, unfinished.
True. If you look at both of them I think Foodfight is always going to look worse. But if you factor in the fact that Norm is a theatrical release with none of Foodfights bizarre situation then I could understand a claim that it's worse.
>The symptoms can be linked to inflammation in the gut stimulated by feeding hookworms, such as nausea, abdominal pain and intermittent diarrhea, and to progressive anemia in prolonged disease: capricious appetite, pica (or dirt-eating), obstinate constipation followed by diarrhea, palpitations, thready pulse, coldness of the skin, pallor of the mucous membranes, fatigue and weakness, shortness of breath and in cases running a fatal course, dysentery, hemorrhages and edema.
>"No child should be exposed to this."
Foodfight's just a spectacular trainwreck all around. The quality graphics, the crass commercialism, the movie's inability to determine whether it's for kids or adults. Add the backstory that is the fucked up production history and it's the perfect awful animated movie.
It's like a reverse Madagascar with the same level of shittyness.
Hell, google 'Rob Schneider Madagascar' and the first hits even turn up Norm Of The North.
I agree that Madagascar was terrible, but at least it had some highlights, like King Julian and the Penguins
It's more than you can say about POLAR BEAR : THE BEAR
I love how many people this consistently freaks out considering the video its from mentions it's not actually breaking the skin and is basically harmless to humans.
Wetas are basically just big grumpy crickets.
I mean, this has to be the movie that had the absolute least amount of effort go into it, right?
I mean, if THAT'S the trailer, what the fuck's the rest of it?
Oh, alright. I didn't actually look at the video and the only thing that freaked me out was that it looked like it was really breaking into the skin. The way it jerks itself back looks like it's prying itself free after embedding its mandibles in.
>Starts as a Norm of the North thread.
>Becomes a "Damn Nature, You Scary" thread.
This is better.
>And Gangnam Style was only used in the credits - which gave people an incentive to get out quicker.
I remember watching the first Chipmunks movie one Christmas. I think 2012? And all I could think was how shoddy it looked. It looked like a lifetime movie in everything but its CGI.
When my cousins hit play to watch it a second time I knew I had made a huge mistake agreeing to watch them...
>The title character of "Norm of the North" may be a bear, but the movie is a dog. Actually, that assessment is unfair to dogs - real, anthropomorphic and metaphorical.
-Glenn Kenny, New York Times
My sides left me to die alone
My aunt used to work at an ER in the inner city decades ago.
This kind of thing is uncommon, but not unheard of. It's usually easier to fill the ear with mineral oil then risk breaking up the bug in the canal.
It's also more common for people living in filthy conditions, so go clean those rooms kids.
I was deathly afraid of cassowaries as a child,don't even live near em.
What do you think of this pet snek.
I would cuddle it every day
If it makes you feel any better, only something like 2% of bats have rabies.
When I was still at my parent's house, I had a bat who would hang on my window screen. Every year, he'd be there until it got cold. Then when winter was over he'd come back. He eventually stopped coming. I miss you James.
nigga i'll fuck you both up
Get bent for reals fgts.
hey, what's that?
tastes like a li'll bitch
> Eh, it's ok.
> Based Bernie Mac
> Based Alec Baldwin
> Dat dance scene with Alex and his dad
> The scene in Monte Carlo
> The scene where they perform for the sponsor guy
> A nice way to end the story of Alex and co.
Penguins of Madagascar was a fun watch. DreamWorks does spin offs the right way. Disney and Illumination should take notes
Seagulls suck too. When I was a kid, I was eating a scone at a park by the river. A seagull was near me, looking for a handout. Being the stupid kid I was, I dropped him a bit. You can probably guess what happened next.
>>>/an/ really doesn't get enough love on this site
They all swooped down, and crowded me, in the air and on the ground, all trying to get a piece. I had to duck inside a nearby building, and every single one of them followed me there. It was like walking through a cloud of feathers and beaks constantly trying to grab what's in your hand.
And you can get them just from walking over eggs in the dirt. Fun times!
Although some people think a moderate parasite load helps out your immune system
> Oh she's kinda cu-
Instant red flag for any movie.
I knew from the start it would be bad, I love it when I'm right.
Late night spookies are always good times.
Norm of the North definitely isn't.
There used to be this one bat who would occasionally try to get into my room at night and slam it's stupid fucking face into the screen and squeak like it knew what it did was wrong, but it kept doing it anywhere.
Wonder what happened to it.
I think I found one of those dudes in my house. Odd because it's literally the only mantis I've ever seen.
>posting animals in an animal thread is/v/
I remember being in a Bee Movie stream for whatever reason, and everyone memorized the shitty jokes, never missing a beat. It was so bad. What a bonding experience.
My worry is that this is Fifty Shades bad where even ironically there's no value and it just wastes your time and braincells.
He was a rich kid who blew daddy's money on retarded bullshit. Don't fucking feel bad for him. Feel bad for all the talented artists who never get to make their dreams in the first place.
Have you people really lived to adulthood without hearing people say "___ is a bear"? Seriously? Did you grow up in non-English countries? That's the only explanation I can think of.
I grew up in America and the only person I've ever heard that phrase from was canadian or some shit. Everyone around me (a bunch of other americans) was confused as fuck at what he meant.
We can blame Canada for breaking the streak.
>Norm of the North: A polar bear saving the Arctic sends a smart message
You are all playing into their hand.
Adam Sandler and company all know their reputation is in the toilet, so they're capitalizing on it. All your effort to disparage him will only serve to influence hipsters, who will "ironically" go pay to see this bad movie (in addition to the brainless normalfag masses who don't know any better.)
You have done nothing but benefit Sandler. Your life is a fucking detriment to cinema.
with cellular technology and poor education standards today im convinced the vocabulary of the average 20-whatever yo is shrinking each passing year
im sure their are scientific studies on this
>outright steal characters from Brother Bear
>basically use character designs from Nut Job, Madagascar and humans from Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs
>Tay tay was somehow coerced into letting her music being played in the trailer
>that piss poor lip synching
what even is this movie. Is Lionsgate insane? Did they do this just to see if they could?
>EH HEH HEH HE HEH
oh god I can hear adam sandler laughing in his godawful laugh as he takes off the masks and tells everyone they're watching Ridiculous Six. goddamn how did that happen
Out of all the videos here, this is the one that got me feeling horrible
>million dollars in suitcase
>but its buried inbetween the spider gate
Where can I get one of those? Australia right?
Wow, the animation is even worse than expected. Plus we have cute environmentalist little girl helping save the world from le corporate villian
I think the writers were just trying to see that the worst possible script that would still sell would be
motherfucker actually went and did it
I expected Rob Schneider to be in such a pile of trash, but how the unholy fuck did this shit-tier movie get such otherwise-decent (if not good) well-known actors?
And how did this get a theatrical release and tv spots? This is the sort of movie you find at the dollar store or the $5 bin at Walmart.
>Adam Sandler and company all know their reputation is in the toilet, so they're capitalizing on it. All your effort to disparage him will only serve to influence hipsters, who will "ironically" go pay to see this bad movie
Choke on a black cock. His reputation has been shit for far longer than this and that ship sailed long ago.
The RT consensus is in!
"A pioneering feat in the field of twerking polar bear animation but blearily retrograde in every other respect, Norm of the North should only be screened in case of parental emergency."
You call that a cutie? I have seen better.
>No one can even pretend to take it serious.
How did it come to this?
>MODS deleted the bugposting
>I got a temporal-block of 30 minutes
>MODS prefer Schneider than bugs
I know it's
But anything is better than Schneider. ANYTHING.
THINK ABOUT THE CHILDREN YOU MONSTER
Only one person so far has given it a Fresh rating:
>Norm of the North will occupy the attention of young audiences while getting a message across to them about the dangers of humans going where they don't belong.
- Globe and Mail
>Canadian news source sucking environmentalist dick
Why am I not surprised?
>Even the trait that should endear the audience to Norm, his infamous " Arctic Shake," in which the bear goes into uncontrollable fits of dancing and twerking, becomes unbearable to watch.
I don't even think the writer realized that they punned.
And look who she's checking out.
>get to scene where guy in polar bear costume does kung fu
>"Now you will see my Arctic wrath!"
>Stand up and yell "More like AUTISTIC wrath!"
>Get thrown out of theater
>And Gangnam Style was only used in the credits
did we watch the same movie? it was slapped right in the middle of the 1st fucking act for like 10 seconds and it was never mentioned again, the nut job deserves every ounce of hatred towards it and more for pandering to stupid meme dances alone.
It painful how obvious it is that those lemmings are trying to be as successful as the Minions.
Like, I know the Minions are annoying as hell at this point, but they had charm, there's a reason people like them. Those lemmings are just piss and fart, piss and fart.
>have a hearty laugh about this norm of the north bullshit
>look at the rest of the movies out right now
>Hotel Transylvania 2
since when did this exist? i haven't heard a fucking word about this ever until right now, and it's fucking out?
With shitty movies, they always put what few good moments there are in the trailer. If those were the """""good"""""" parts that I just watched, than what the fuck is the actual movie like?
>take a picture, it'll last longer
>I'm big boned
>act natural *fart*
>movie trailer has a few good jokes/scenes in it
>turns out those were the only good jokes/scenes in the entire movie
This shit has got to be illegal.
False advertising or something.