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Designated Dave
Storytime of Pain: The Kick-Ass Saga 2014-08-09 20:04:36 Post No. 64457951
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Storytime of Pain: The Kick-Ass Saga 2014-08-09 20:04:36 Post No. 64457951
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The Last Night. We've been through a lot together, and I know that we lost a few to the beast yesterday. It was the toughest of the bunch but I hope that we came out stronger for it. One thing I do know for certain: it's going to make tonight seem like a piece of cake. Rum cake, but cake.
This is the final adventure. The back to the basics. One last journey. Intensity has been dialed back as we head towards the end. It'd be naive to say it all led to this but, for those who have been here from the start (and those I thank), it kind of did. It's a doozy of an ending. If you want to come along into the sunset, then let's get going. If not, then best of wishes.
Now let's get ready to kick some ass one last time.
This is-
Kick-Ass Book Four: The End of Kick-Ass
>>
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And here we go... with the full message from that cover.
JUSTICE FOREVER!
>>
>>64457951
you are a god amongst us, OPI still refuse to read this until i get the collection[spoiler/]
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Now, I would never lead you into something without fair warning. That wouldn't be nice.
And KA3 is a return to form of KA1 and HG, which we can say was better than KA2, but this first issue has one really bad moment. Hope you don't lose your cools this early.
Also, if you HAVE been here all nights! Take a bow! Chime in. Congrats.
>>
But I was going to play Dark Messiah of Might and Magic.
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We pick up right at the end of the last book...
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These three are the contingency plan.
What a world.
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They're committed to the cause.
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>>64458099
I'd say her leaving Kick-Ass all her stuff was cute if it wasn't for the sake of a jailbreak.
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They're obviously too prepared for this.
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>>64458048
>Also, if you HAVE been here all nights! Take a bow! Chime in. Congrats.
a storytime has never taken more out of me than KA2
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Damn it Marty!
Stop with the prophecies.
>>64458427
This one is less taxing. Promise.
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These guys are just brilliant aren't they?
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Not that I agree with Hit-Girl, but yeah... these guys are looking for an easy way out without losing face.
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>>64458541
They should have warn different costumes.
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>>64458588
why don't we take off our one mask, and then birdman won't know it is us?
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This is that moment. Quite possibly one of the worst things that Kick-Ass has done.
But scout's honor.
It's clear sailing from here. Nothing but good ol' fashioned fun.
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Marty is out of the picture, so it's just these two bozos for now.
Also, whatever happened to their curly haired friend?
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You did mess up a lot, David.
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Messed up as much as Todd messes up his spelling.
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Preach to the choir, lady.
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Some of Hit-Girl's training has actually sunk in.
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>>64457951
oh god here we go I love you Dave but I also hate you Dave
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>>64457951
Mah main man Dave
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....ish.
Tuck in your head, man.
>>64458838
That's okay, but remember. I never led anyone astray. I laid out ALL cards. Have fun.
>>
>>64458827
I know Hit-Girl was shit in the last comic but this leaving her to rot is tarting to piss me off.
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I also wasn't lying about Todd's spelling deficiency.
Get a dictionary fool!
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The Juicer is far worse than any of this arc's villains.
>>64458880
It's the main theme of this arc that... Kick-Ass is losing his way a bit. Did you see the combined message from the cover? So, give it some time.
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THAT is just adding insult to goshdarn injury!
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Taking from the petty cash?
Not cool dude.
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If you can remember from yesterday night... Todd has a thang for older women.
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What a nice third panel.
Also, Kick-Ass has been at this for what... maybe 2-3 years?
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How does anyone still get this kind of drop on him?
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>>64458617
Goddamn it, Dave. You're an idiot.
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Part 2:
wherein the cover says it all.
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>>64459100
Dave is a really big idiot.
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But he HAS gotten at least 3% better at this.
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Just like old times, right David?
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At least the car stops to help this time.
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Kick-Ass, your secret identity is a google search away.
No need to play coy.
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Not exactly ships passing in the night, huh?
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Meet Angie Genovese.
You might remember her from the Hit-Girl mini.
This is her story.
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And, as you can guess, it is not a happy story.
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Alright, for those that really know how William Hickey sounds like I'd recommend reading Rocco in his voice.
It makes everything he says a whole lot funnier.
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Rocco loves the laddies, and he ain't about to apologize for that.
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>>64459246
God, that face!
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Shut the fuck up Motherfucker.
Your mom has an actually good plan.
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Kick-Ass' ambitions far exceed his reach, right?
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Alright "Awesome Hitler" is going in my little book of Kick-Ass-isms.
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Again, no one gives a crap Motherfucker.
Also, I think I finally get why they called him that.
It's actually pretty easy to say it when he is one.
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DID YOU FORGET ABOUT LT. STRIPES?
LT. STIPES DIDN'T FORGET ABOUT YOU!
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Also, Lt. Stripes is the only one who hasn't forgotten about Katie.
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AWW AWWW...
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That was unfortunate.
Rest in Peace, Lt. Stripes, you noble man.
Vaya con dios.
>>
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Part 3:
wherein it's time to see how the other half lives.
>>
>>64459611
You continue to fuck everything, Chris.
>>
>>64459611
Well that wasn't quite as planned
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>>64459663
Just... goddamnit. Least he's with his brother now.
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Even if she is losing her cool, Doc.
She ain't gonna lose it in front of you.
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You could have just worn a disguise, dude.
>>
>>64459713
What prison puts a female minor with adult men?
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Luckily enough, the dame doesn't seem to be put off by this behavior.
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Google.
Search.
David.
>>64459796
Who can tell? I think there's a reason why they never broach the subject.
>>
>>64459796
Comic book prison
>>
Her running an entire prison is bullshit even for this story.
>>
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Alright, we've found Hit-Girl's weakness!
>>64459843
Yeah, really. But hey... I have no follow up rationale.
>>
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>>64459149
Damn it, Dave, you were almost cool here!
>>
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Rocco is a very, very, understanding man.
He knows you're too weak Motherfucker.
>>
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The return of Battle Guy!
>>
>>64459925
>soft
Really? I mean, sure he's a moron, but organizing a supervillain terrorist strike on Tines Square and gunning down kids isn't really all that soft.
>>
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Charity Dogman is best Dogman
>>
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This could not have gone worse.
>>64460007
Rocco is old school. He sees that whole affair as Motherfucker just "playing supervillain". He wants to make him a future Mob Boss.
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>>64460080
>that 4th panel
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Alright, two whole pages and Dave has yet to mess up.
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Well, EVEN THEN...
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Alright, still.
This is still going in his "not that horrible escapades" file.
>>
>>64460080
I'm looking forward to seeing Hit Girl throw that useless fat fuck out of her lair when she gets out.
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But only just barely.
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>>
>>64460136
I like how they made a callback to this in the final issue with Hit-Girl
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Because you put yourself in these situations, Kick-Ass.
Ain't you know that?
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It's the odds.
At least one of his tricks had to have worked over the years,
>>
>>64460113
>>64460080
>>64460059
>>64460182
>>64460200
>>64460223
>>64460242
Not bad at all, Dave
>>
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Part 4:
wherein it's time to shake things up
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Now, does ANYONE remember this guy?
Because I do and it was hilarious to see him here.
>>64460277
Right? Even I have to give him props.
>>
>>64460306
Hey Dave, isn't it kind of weird that you're story timing a book about a guy called Dave?
>>
So are they gonna have a group adventure where they don't get caught at the start and all run for it?
>>
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Getting mugged by this hobo wasn;t that bad after all.
>>
>>64460265
Wait, did they actually accomplish anything?
>>
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>>64460334
Yes, which is why I call him David or Kick-Ass.
>>64460345
NO. Not at all.
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No one believes in the Skybird.
>>
>>64460334
I think he's hiding a secret identity from us
>>
>>64460345
Rocco now considers them a threat. So shit's about to get real in some bad ways.
>>
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How can you work with them when you NEVER work?!
>>
>>64460345
They pissed off the mob
again
>>
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The Juicer must be stopped.
>>64460400
>>64460409
Right. They succeeded in pissing off the WORST of the Genovese Bros.
>>
>>64460384
Well Mark sure did at the end.
>>
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Is this worse than Civil War?
I dunno.
>>64460441Shh.
>>
they never made hit girl 2? i thought they did
>>
>>64460167
though honestly, remember batman's bladder spasm?
the fuck you think would happen if you finger is on a trigger right next to an explosion like that?
>>
>>64460407
>Now they're NEVER going to fear me
Dave, they were never going to fear you anyway :(
>>
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Kick-Ass, please.
Like you haven't said or monologued even lamer things.
>>
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Alright, I forgot to mention. This kind of stuff.
Freaky, huh?
>>64460481
I remember that being planned, but they scrapped it.
>>
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Awwwwkwaaaard
>>
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You and me.
And me and you.
>>
>>64460494
I don't get why anyone is siding with that deadbeat asshole.
>>
>>64460526
>Freaky, huh?
Fucking hot I would call it. Nice, Todd.
>>
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Now, I'm pretty sure that David doesn't have this much game.
>>
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B-but they forgot the coffee!
>>64460596
Juicer is far worse than Rocco. At least Rocco is dignified.
>>64460598
Gotta give Todd his due, yeah.
>>
>>64460609
Movie Dave might. But he's considerably less of a loser.
>>
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Was there any other way to show this Motherfucker the ropes?
>>
>>64460586
>I had polio
but... what
>>
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Seriously though.
William Hickey voice. But still, gotta admit that's real snazzy.
>>
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Hahaha, your luck is running out Mindy.
>>
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Now he's just going to haveta do it.
>>
>>64460778
Thats some odd perspective on panel 3
Makes her neck look really fat
>>
>>64460689
The notch thing plays part of the finale if you pay attention :D
>>
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Alright, this is where it all starts going down.
>>
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This is where Kick-Ass 3 goes from... alright....
>>
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To something special.
>>
>>64460596
because none of the superheroes "do" anything, and they don't want to be next on the chopping block, insecurity, plus the dude was a big self promoter, he might not have done anything, either, but he seemed like he did.
>>
>>64460802
Walter White's a sadistic guy.
>>
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Part 5:
wherein it all comes crashing down.
>>
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I like to bookend things, so I'll be placing this here one last time.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7A8e2_GZR-M
To the Skull and Bones Gang!
>>
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They are experienced.
>>
>>64460936
Still waiting for a plot to happen, besides Dave's romance with the girl that's going to be a traitor or get murdered or raped.
>>
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They are methodical.
>>
>>64460936
Hes like 19 at this point
Why is he still kid sized?
>>
>>64461014
haaaaa, you couldn't be more wrong anon.
>>
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They are determined.
>>64461014
I said this was back to basics. Street heroics and then the overarching mob thing.
>>
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They are environmentally conscious.
They're the whole package!
>>64461050
Shh! Let's let things play out.
>>
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This is just getting beyond the pale.
>>
>>64461067
Is this part of the group that splintered off from Kickass's?
>>
Oh my god these cops are fucking amazing
I started to get high hopes for him when he stopped Mindy by just using his badge. I'm glad my faith went rewarded
>>
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Didn't really need to know what his Oh Face was.
>>64461099
Did you not see the last page of the previous issue?
>>64461110
THE SKULL AND BONES FOREVER!
>>
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Ha
>>
>>64461134
No I meant the people watching the video though the page after my post cleared things up
>>
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Yes, yes, we're all happy Kick-Ass is happy... well...
>>
Thanks for the posts OP, you're a cool guy.
>>
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>>64461161
Nope. You see Ass-Kicker, and Dr. Gravity etc. It's Kick-Ass' boys, son!
>>
>>64461134
>Didn't really need to know what his Oh Face was.
Eh, I allow it.
>>
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For god's sake, Kick-Ass!
>>
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>>
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Kick-Ass is pursuing new avenues of self-expression.
>>
>>64461247
It cant last
>>
>>64461247
But I thought he liked the superhero stuff.
>>
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Overall I agree with Marty.
They're much more healthy than dressing up in a wetsuit to fight crime.
>>
>>64461272
she's gonna get killed sometime later isn't she
>>
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You wanted to be a super-hero, David.
>>64461284
>>64461278
Evil Prevails When Good Men Do Nothing.
>>
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One of the reasons why I think this is my favorite KA arc is because I love Rocco and the Skull and Bones.
>>64461314
We'll see.
>>
>>64461284
He's drifting. Finding new things.
He's finding himself.
>>
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Very true, Gigante.
>>
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Rocco is going to show New York that being a superhero is bad for your health.
>>
>>64461158
So now that he's finally had sex he sees everything he has ever done as really childish. This reminds me of a skit I once saw.
http://youtu.be/W8RkqbqmttA
>>
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We cannot prevent the following events.
We can only stand by and play witness.
>>
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Some more deserved than others.
>>
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But all lost in the war against crime.
>>
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Goddamnit man.
>>
>>64461388
I hope this doesn't turn out where Rocco figures it out and kill the skull guys to show that dressing up like a supervillain isn't as impressive as being a mobster.
>>
>>64461436
Oh wow, he got juiced
Also RIP dog man
>>
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Just damn it all.
>>
>>64461436
Well, that was kinda anti-climactic.
I thought Millar was going somewhere with that.
>>
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This was an actual page.
So... why not?
>>64461479
We'll see. Almost done anyway.
>>
>>64461474
GODDAMN IT
This shit's getting dire.
>>
You know, I'm okay with this. I liked Dr Gravity, Insect Man, and random dog costume guy but their deaths are all worth it to see the Juicer get what he deserved.
>>
>>64461406
When I finally lost my viginity didn't change me at all, I just got into kinkier sex and still messed around with my mates
>>
>>64460866
>>64460936
I gotta hand it to Millar. When I saw the cover art of this skull guy way back when, I didn't expect him to be that.
>>
>>64461474
Not Doctor Gravity!
Not turk....
>>
Man, this shit is depressing.
>>
>>64461492
Honestly this sort of shit should have happened sooner.
>>
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Part 6:
wherein time to peek behind the curtain a bit.
>>64461532
Neither did I. I was shocked. In a pleasant way,
>>
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If we didn't already know it by now... Hit-Girl had a fucked up childhood.
>>
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>>
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Still have no idea how Big Daddy was able to pull all this off.
>>
>>64458076
god fucking damn why hasn't someone broken romita jr's fingers for this art yet
>>
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>>
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Woweee, her first Arnie flick?
>>
>>64461579
If she isn't nervous about this already she must have been fucked in the head before her dad.
>>
>>64461520
Same. I don't think I changed when I lost mine. Maybe I had a new prospective on things but i don't think I majorly changed either.
>>
>>64458124
holy fuck there are muppets cringing at these faces
>>
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>>
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>>64461674
Probably.
>>
>>64461520
I got MORE into comics after I lost mine, go figure
>>
>>64461683
So this is basically the Rorschach therapy session 2.0
>>
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Comic Big Daddy was incredibly crazy.
But there's still a gruff cozyness right?
>>
>>64461694
He is Walter White!
>>
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He decided to make it fun.
>>
>>64458617
> Mark Millar shitting on the only reason he isn't working in a factory
>>
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>>
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>>
>>64458647
those heads
those heads
i will die screaming "those heads"
>>
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He doesn't, but he wouldn't mind if you died along with him.
>>
>>64461762
>dat complete lack of trigger discipline on the first panel
>>
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Not so quick on the draw, these four.
>>
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Oh head games.
Always fun.
>>
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Big Daddy I don't know how to feel about you.
>>
>>64461811
It's kind of hard to tell because the art is so atrocious, but he's firing the gun in the air.
>>
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It's time.
>>
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The moment of truth.
>>
>>64461893
I dunno if I can watch
>>
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>>
>thinking big daddy is good father by any measure
>>
>>64461893
Oh sweet god she's going to kill her mom.
>>
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This just got amazing.
>>
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FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT, HIT-GIRL...
This whole family is nuts.
>>64461918
Of course not, Big Daddy was insane.
>>
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RUN ASS-KICKER RUN!
>>
>>64461928
best mom
>>
>>64459215
>'coz
fucking scots
>>
>>64461928
That page is golden.
>>
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Well, ass wound then
>>
>>64461928
GODDAMMIT! FUCK YOU MILLAR, FUCK YOU AND YOUR BULLSHIT!
>>
>>64461928
BEST FUCKING MOM
>>
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That is the most hilarious hush money I;ve ever seen.
>>64462010
You really gonna let that page beat you?
>>
>>64459796
The good kind.bueno.jpg
>>
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Gigante, you should read more comics.
>>
>>64458739
I know people hate Mark Millar, and I don't really love his Kick-Ass stories, but that's a great scene.
>>
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Jacking your new girlfriend's car.
Bold move.
>>
>>64461928
Wow, didn't expect that. Was thinking hit girl would tell her mom she was weak or something.
>>
>>64462036
No it's just, it's so stupid.
>>
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Bolder move.
>>
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Okay David, you look cool.
Get on with it.
>>64462104
It's really a "1" on the scale of stupid this series can get though.
>>
>>64462010
believably is not a comics tradition, Millar knows this. It's one of the few things he's right about.
>>
>>64459438
> you remember that moment batman pissed all over himself? yeah, we doin' that
>>
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Poor, poor, Mrs. Genovese.
>>
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>>
>>64461994
AHHHH SOMETHING BIT ME
>>
>>64462171
go away kevin smith
>>
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This motherfucker has actually been training for this moment.
>>
>>64462235
fuuuuuuuck
>>
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His own final mission.
And I'm going to have to have a small intermission here. Will be back soon. But in the meantime, has anyone let this arc get to them?
>>64462205
Hahahah
>>
>>64462261
>has anyone let this arc get to them?
This is like reading Tiny Titans compared to KA2. Shit, I'm practically enjoying it!
>>
>>64462261
wait, what? keep posting this you retarded fuck
>>
>>64462261
Im actually enjoying this. Its not the usual super edgy shit that Millar normally does. Im actually digging it
>>
>>64462261
I'm worried he's actually going to kill the rest of them and let Hit-Girl go in BIG TWIST.
>>
>>64462261
pls just keep posting I'm at work and I'll need to leave the computer at any second
>>
>>64462261
Chris actually looks reasonable for the first time in this whole fucking series. No stupid corny jokes, no dumb costume, no over the top edginess. Just a gun and vengeance.
>>
>>64459797
> drinking coffee for 3 hours
he's going to be pissing nonstop
>>
>>64462104
This comic has done worse.
I like the development. It's ridiculous, but that's kinda the point of the whole story.
>>
>>64462235
>>64462261
YOU FUCKER!
Goddamn you, Chris. What a piece of shit.
>>
>>64459944
> how do these bombs work
> they explode when a radio signal goes off
> that's FUCKING SCIENCE FICTION, MAN
>>
>>64462365
dude also wrote Red Son, he's not completely incompetent, and some argue he's only deliberately incompetent when he wants to be.
>>
>>64460059
> Change the plan to one of you having been an android all along
okay
>>
>>64462512
he also wrote some great all ages Superman stories
He's a good writer, it's just sometimes his actual talent is drowned out by his desire to write ridiculous garbage
>>
Are we done? Is there more issues of this out as of now?
>>
>>64462812
He said he would be back, but I dunno when
>>
This...is actually a lot better than Kick Ass 1 & 2
>>
>>64462568
yeah, but you notice how he didn't have movie deals until after he stopped writing all ages shit?
Also look at Frank Miller, not exactly rolling in the dough until after he made his comics as edgy as his Robocop scripts.
>>
>>64462812
yeah it's finished
dave said he'll be back to finish soon
>>
>>64462919
It's really surprising, isn't it?
>>
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>>64461231
>Didn't really need to know what his Oh Face was.
NEVER FORGET
>>
>>64459796
>Logic
>Millar comic
It's like you don't know how to Millar.
>>
>>64461436
> juicer
you deserved this
> dog man
you didn't but i laughed anyway
>>
>>64461318
Why the fuck did those assholes want to see Harold and Maude?
>>
POST THE REST OP YOU FAGGOT
>>
>>64461436
I thought both of those characters were leading to things. Dang.
>>
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Part 7:
wherein it could have only ended like this.
And thanks to those who were actually patient.
>>
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Don't get cocky fat man
>>
>>64461694
I thought the Millarworld books were all connected? How does she have Jupiter's Legacy and Supercrooks?
>>
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He's been waiting a long time for it.
>>
>>64463143
a little girl beheads people with random shards of glass she finds, which is brittle enough to leap through, and the fridge logic that bugs you is why a bunch of asshole teenager would go to Harold and Maude to harass people?
>>
>>64463263
>hurr durr this 13 year old girl who just got injected with shit that paralyses you isn't tough lol!
>>
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Twist!
>>64463283
Wait until the end.
NO ONE SPOIL IT!
>>
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Chris, you suck at even being good.
>>
>>64460689
>Why don't we just BUY all the other gangs?
This is such an insult to any understanding of gang dynamics, histories between the various gangs, and common sense, that I don't even know how they put the idea to paper without questioning it.
>>
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I HONESTLY did not see any of this coming.
>>
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Call it fate, Kick-Ass.
Call it fate.
>>
>>64463353
what what what
>>
>>64461952
I thought you said there's no such thing as crazy,Tenzin
>>
>>64463353
>>64463338
>>64463310
Called it, but I wish I hadn't.
>>
I see the artist still can't draw children.
>>
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Chris, no one wants to hear your apologies, let the powers that be decide.
>>
>>64463310
If there was a kick ass where it was like this page where it's not hahahaha funny comedy but a actual tale of events with some seriousness, that would rake in so much fucking money
>>
>>64463310
>>64463338
>>64463353
>>64463380
Wow, Red Mist is back.
>>
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Goddamnit.
>>
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The Hit-Girl mini is actually referenced a lot in this one.
>>64463448
Red Mist as he wanted to be.
>>
>>64461436
I always laugh at this page, it's too funny. I can only imagine
>>
>>64463457
>it's even waterproof
I didn't actually expect that detail to come back like this. Wow.
>>
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Big Daddy was a crazy man.
But his girl is living a crazy life.
>>
>>64463457
Jesus christ Chris you're literally the worst at everything EVER
>>
>>64462568
>he also wrote some great all ages Superman stories
That was Mark Waid ghosting for him and don't fucking forget it.
>>
>>64463536
what?
>>
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Because she loves you Red Mist
>>64463512
Right? Kick-Ass 3 is what Kick-Ass should always have been.
>>64463524
He really is.
>>
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Rest in I don't know any more, Red Mist.
Maybe your maker will have an answer.
>>64463565
Let's not do this now.
>>
>>64463521
Im pretty sure your heart doesn't explode when you suffocate
Why does he think your heart explodes? This is the second time its come up
>>
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What a weird way for him to have gone out.
>>
>>64463598
maybe he just means that it feels like it's exploding
>>
>>64463502
> I just remembered I'm black again!
>>
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>>64463598
Big Daddy is an ex-accountant who is also the best comic book collector in the world. He has an excuse. Lt. Stripes does not.
>>
>>64463457
>>64463502
>>64463521
>>64463572
>>64463594
I'm actually kinda sad.
>>
I feel like that one time I walked in to an Unfunnies storytime and my Internet died so i read the whole thing out of desperation.
But I have a choice to stop this. Why can't I stop.
>>
>>64459885
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS BULLSHIT
THIS IS TOO FUCKING MUCH
FUCK THIS COMIC
FUCK YOU MILLAR AND YOUR SHITTY FUCKING 12 YEAR OLD "BADASS" CHARACTER
YES I MAD
>>
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GO KICK-ASS!
>>
>>64463594
Semi-Heroic ending, I guess. I still laugh at the name "The Motherfucker".
>>
>>64463598
he has her jacked up on coke.
>>
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He got really good with the batons.
>>64463665
Did you read the first three nights? If not, I have no idea why.
>>64463669
We all have our vices, bitch.
>>
>>64463669
To be fair she's 13
>>
>>64463692
But when Lt. Stripes tried to suffocate Motherfucker earlier, he said the exact same thing about his heart exploding
>>
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Okay, that first panel is definitely getting into the Kick-Ass-Isms book.
>>
>>64463715
I've been reading the whole thing. It's drivel but I still waited for the next thread each time. Maybe it's just the company.
>>
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>>64462365
>Its not the usual super edgy shit
I can't tell if you're serious or not.
>>
>>64463715
MURDER
>>64463764
Its violent sure, but its certainly no Wanted
>>
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>>64463764
I don;t know. He has a point. It;s not your usual KA stuff.
>>64463761
Then you owe it to yourself to finish it.
>>
>>64463715
>>64463679
Fuck yeah!
>>
>>64463750
HOW ABOUT, YOU KNOW, A FORTIFICATION INSTEAD OF A GOD DAMNED BOATHOUSE
>>
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>>
>>64463764
It's edgy, but somewhat restrained compred to other stuff he's done, even in this same book.
Like, this is going somewhere. It's not pointless.
>>
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Valerie has a point Kick-Ass.
There are only few ways this can end,
>>
>>64463814
>all in one place
>evil oscars
>a single boss from Maine to Miami
The superheroes are going to somehow slaughter absolutely every one of the mob bosses, aren't they?
That's how this ends, isn't it?
>>
>>64463814
> has anyone ever dreamed of such a thing
Would it fucking kill you to learn some mob history you scottish piece of crap
>>
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It's just usual manners to have a spare costume.
>>
>>64463884
Think of every single idea.
Then take the one that required least thought.
That's how Kick-Ass comics did.
>>
>>64463877
I thought she was cool with him being a superhero.
>>
>>64463877
It's a trilogy, Val. It has to one way or another.
>>
>>64463401
>Insulting JR JR
Not sure how to feel about this...
>>
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Did none of the vigilante even THINK to check the head?
>>
>>64463930
>>64463930
shh stop asking intelligent questions
>>
>>64463940
I'm a JR Jr fan and even I can admit his realism sucks fat cock.
>>
>>64460586
your mama and your cousin too
>>
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Gigante is too much.
>>64463953
Kick-Ass' escapades almost always end with him getting wrecked. Why would she be okay with that shit?
>>
>>64463940
the man you knew from the 1980s has been dead for years
this assclown deserves no pity
>>64463944
LE AWESOME REFERENCES EHL OH EHL
>>
>>64463891
Millar should have called you before he wrote the comics, since you're such an expert and all.
>>
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>>
>>64464009
accountants are mad rich
>>
>>64464001
You seem to have a terminal case of stick up your ass
>>
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Welcome to the good stuff.
>>
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Just one last hug for old times sakes.
>>
>>64463891
Jesus Christ, it's a comic book. You're like that guy that complains about stuff like silencers in movies loudly throughout the entire movie and sure you're right but nobody cares because it's a work of fiction, you autist.
>>
>>64464044
>the Daddy-car and the Hit-boat
toocute
>>
>>64464044
What did Caime ever do to you Big Daddy?
>>
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Goodbye Hit-Girl.
>>
>>64464044
> y-you too, shit Toph expy
>>
>>64464044
Wow. The background art for that top panel is so fucking lazy.
>>
>>64464044
>>64464065
Do they everfuckor what?
>>
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I never don't laugh at that truck
>>
>>64464065
>hit-girl non-sarcastically hugging
dawww, she really does like him
>>
>>64464065
> if we die in underwear WE CAN BE HEEEEEEEE-ROES JUST FOR ONE DAY
>>
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Just a reminder.
Also, are people really letting this beat them? This is low tier stuff. Like, wow. I thought this would be a cake walk after last night but I guess I was wrong.
Or maybe just repeat to yourself it's just Kick-Ass and you should read just chillax.
>>
>>64464114
I was kind of disappointed that henever ran anyone overwith that car.
>>
>>64464114
>Fuck Crime on two adjacent sides
>Big Daddy on the other
Grrr.
>>
>>64464143
Im enjoying the ride. I dunno why others are getting pissed. Its hilarious
>>
>>64464143
>This is low tier stuff
I'm not sucking your cock because it's not Nemesis, chum
>>
>>64464143
What do you expect from weekend /co/, tolerance? Please.
>>
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Final Part:
wherein this is the end of Kick-Ass.
>>
>>64464143
seriously, this is pretty pleasant compared to KA2, that didn't even get as much nitpicking as this one
>>
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That it is.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aFyhP6A4Cyg
>>
>>64464206
>that didn't even get as much nitpicking as this one
it's difficult to nitpick when your skull is actively shitting your brain out
>>
>>64464143
I think it's someone who didn't read the second KA mini.
>>
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Because it's very likely, Kick-Ass
>>
>>64464202
So is anyone going to buy the inevitable 28 issue Kick-Ass Omnibus?
>>
>>64464044
I know Millar dropped the whole IRL thing halfway through Kick-Ass 1 but FUCK ME
>>
>>64464219
Oh. OK! I was thinking you were going to play Smashing Pumpkins.
>>
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Tough luck, dude.
>>
>>64464263
oh god no, I wouldn't want KA2 to be anywhere near my family
>>
>>64464143
I treat every bad thing equally. With maximum vitriol.
It's about committment, damn it.
>>
>>64464271
> KA1
"We're going to show the consequences of this mindset"
> movie
"FUCK I SURE LOVE MONEY"
>>
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She could probably break into Fort Knox
>>64464271
No, FUCK CRIME
>>
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>>
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You know what?
Todd is really cool.
>>
The amazing thing about the KA movies is that it's one of the few times the material BENEFITED from other people meddling with it.
>>
>>64464219
If Jim Steinman didn't write this I'll eat my hat
>>
>>64464091
>>64464312
Why is the difference in decals the thing that's grating on me most.
>>
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I'm guessing Rocco hasn't heard yet.
>>64464301
I respect you man.
>>
>>64464308
Whatever, the movie was more enjoyable than the comic
>>
>>64464289
> if fort knox were, you know, a port and not a fort
>>
>>64464308
he dropped it long before the movie. within 2 issues... with Hit-Girl.
He does it alot. Red Son while good. also is really notable for Millar having forgotten what his plot was within 3 issues.
>>
>>64464364
Hey you're right:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nowhere_Fast
>>
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Hit-Girl plays by the book
>>64464363
I said this before, but I'll always like the climax of the first comic better.
>>64464364
He did.
>>
>>64464328
> what are the explosives for
exploding
>>
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Well played Hit-Girl.
That was a funny time to drop that guy.
>>
>>64463750
>Rocco knows
>>64464384
>Rocco doesn't know
>>
>>64464393
Agreed but that was more in spite of Millar...
>>
>>64464393
I wonder how they'll do Kick-Ass 3 if they ever decide too since at the end of the last movie, Mindy's on the loose and Dave's more of a badass.
>>
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Of course they are.
>>
Still salty about Red Mist/Motherfucker dying like that.
It would've been cooler if he had donned his old costume and then died while fighting alongside Kick-Ass and Hit-Girl or some shit in the final issue.
>>
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AND NOW
>>
>>64464482
Or putting on his mask before shooting up the thugs.
>>
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He did it.
The crazy asshole did it.
I think I may be dying here.
>>
>>64464458
She gets caught at the beginning and thrown in jail.
>>
>>64464482
Then he might overshadow Hit-Girl. Not allowed.
>>
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>>
>>64464517
You finally did it, Dave! YOU'RE BATMAN
>>
>>64464517
The Dark Nit Returns.
Baton Man Year None
>>
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Well look at that.
In synch ass kicking.
>>
>>64464482
Dude was a little bitch who deserved to die like a little bitch.
>>
>>64464384
>hates the idea of capeshit
>EVERYTHING about him screams supervillain
>>
>>64464548
dave is sterilizing their wounds with italian vodka
> italian vodka
my fucking sides
>>
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>>
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Good enough, Kick-Ass!
>>64464588
I laughed at that too!
>>
>>64464571
> did you think i'd let you forget that bullshit with the swords in KA2?
>>
>>64464575
That's the irony.
>>
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And that's why I love you Rocco.
>>
>>64464091
The last time they ever saw one another...
>>
>>64464423
>Using Romans as a model for anything.
They were good at stealing ideas from other people and eventually turned into a corruption ridden shit heap that couldn't control its own borders. Good example.
>>
>>64464590
> also your sinuses are clear now, isn't that great
>>
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Rest in peace you glorious gay gangster bastard.
>>
>>64464590
>Hit Girl's eyes
Fuck JRJR you really just did not give a shit did you?
>>
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>>
>>64464454
Yeah WHAT THE FUCK! For 3 seconds I thought I was losing my mind. I have heard that proofreading isn't needed anymore because computers have spellcheckers.
>>
>>64464634
I expected something a little crazier for his hallucination. Like something with a giant penis.
>>
>>64464610
> electric chainsaw
> weighs roughly 10 pounds because, you know, not a gas motor
I want to be an obese, crohns-inflicted idiot whose experience of the outside world is exclusively limited to the genre he's pisstaking
>>
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Gigante.
Everyone remembers Gigante.
>>
>>64464688
I was expecting a sultry woman, knowing Millar
>>
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Dude has crossed the hubris threshold.
>>
>>64464673
Failed a spot check,
Get REKT.
>>
>>64464664
it's testing for Kick-Ass LEGO
the kids are sure to love it
>>
>>64464517
Can't believe this nigga, his best bud is getting ready to be chopped up with a chainsaw, but he stops setting up fucking reflectors for his big entrance.
And how the fuck did the reflectors stay upright when they were next to enough explosives to take out a wall, anyway.
>>
>>64464712
Damn it, don't do this Millar.
>>
>>64464763
He's the goddamn worst.
>>
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It just wouldn't be Kick-Ass without a big monologue while he gets his shit kicked in
>>
>>64464651
You punch things with the other end of the icepick, retard.
>>
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Hey there Mr. and Mrs. Lizewski.
Long time no see.
>>
>>64464813
> Wishing I was Spider-Man instead of me
Which Spider-Man comics was he reading
>>
>>64464091
That's lifting it right up from Super.
>>
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Smart lil' douche.
>>
>>64464850
padding. Mark. that is not how electricity works.
>>
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Fool me twice, Gigante.
>>
>>64464850
Bit on the nose, but the feels are overriding my critical processes.
>>
>>64464634
TELL EM LARGE MARGE SENT YA
>>
>>64464906
YES YES YES
>>
>>64464903
See earlier comment about deep fried snickers consuming glaswegian trash being allowed near typewriters
>>
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FOOL ME TWICE!
Should have quit while you were in the lead.
>>
>>64464883
Remembe! Alcohol kills, kiddies!
>>
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Right in the tunk.
>>
>>64464850
Wait, is his suit even made of rubber? TYPE of insulation is important.
>>
>>64463784
I actually prefer wanted to all three kick-asses
>>
>>64464850
>Comic books
>Optimistic
>>
>>64464906
>Gun in face
>Gun in face
>Gun in face
>Sees detonator
>Doesn't shoot immediately
Good. No, that's good. That's really fucking good. That's REALLY FUCKING GOOD.
>>
>>64464903
He's wearing a giant rubber condom with holes for his eyes, boots, and rubber gloves.
This part is actually not that stupid. I mean, it wouldn't be stupid on its own to begin with - but in this book, it's downright fucking smart.
>>
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Valerie, I don't even think that Kick-Ass is that stupid.
>>
>>64464997
I wanted to like Wanted, I liked the idea of following supervillains who had won.
But it was just too fucking much. I couldn't make myself read the whole thing.
>>
>>64465016
> wearing condom before sex even happens
THAT'S OUR DAVE
>>
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And for once in his life, thank god he isn't
>>
>>64465010
The absurdism of the situation probably stopped him from taking immediate action.
>>
>>64464976
As much as I want to just ignore that she's way stronger than she should be, I keep seeing shit like this and it all rushes back to the front of my mind.
At least with weapons things make more sense. Having her be this strong with physical power is too hard to suspend disbelief on.
>>
>>64465052
> the bad guys are all dead
bravo nolan
>>
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Time for an epilogue or:
The Mega-Happy Ending.
>>
>>64465052
>Sarah Chalk on duty
Sarah Chalke was in Scrubs.
Why Dave is on duty, who the fuck knows
>>
>>64465052
Wait, Dave Is working on the emergency room now? I thought he was at a fast food joint.
>>
>>64465085
It doesn't take that much force to hurt someone in the tunk.
>>
>>64465085
Newtonian physics died right there
>>
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Good for Angie.
Good for her.
I honestly mean it.
>>
>>64465085
But then you have to think of how she's strong enough to wield those weapons.
>>
>>64465067
Not like he's a corrupt cop, who's had both the training and the experience killing people in cold blood or anything.
>>
>>64464946
>the same distance from the explosion
>he's on fire
>she's spotless
it's the little things /co/
it's the little things that make me soANGRY, FILLED WITH BURNING WHITE HOT RAGE
>>
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Who didn't have this tucked in "things that might happen?"
But it's actually nice to see.
>>
>>64465141
It's funny because both those moms are dead in the films.
>>
>>64464850
What would Batman Do?
Best sound advice ever.
>>
>>64465185
> shot to death randomly checking out a domestic disturbance
>>
>>64464976
heh, she's got super strength now, I guess.
>>
>>64465185
>I'm not happy with you going out as a superhero, but I'm happy with you going out as a cop.
>>
>>64465029
I'll be honest. I love the inclussion of Valerie in this book. She's cute, sound, and quite frankly, Dave needed her. The dude was lost in that costume.
>>
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You know how Millar said that he had this whole universe planned?
He explains it HERE.
And before you ask any more questions. I took the liberty of making an easy to read graph
http://imgur.com/oPyM0Oi
>>
>>64465242
>Died due to mysterious shank found in spine
>>
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Anyone remember this?
The first time Kick-Ass went out and got stabbed in the chest and run over, he didn't just start a fetish or a shut-in sub culture...
>>
>>64465242
>Spends all day walking back and forth in a crosswalk, giving out tickets to cars that don't yield.
>>
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He started a revolution.
>>
>>64465052
did you notice that the second panel here, it reads d. lizewski, and that in >>64465029 the second panel, the patient on the right looks just like when daves dad was with him when he got hit by a car during his first crime beating as kickass.
are they pulling a "it was all a dream" or what
>>
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That it was.
>>
>>64465321
>>64465350
> still crashes into street
>>
>>64465272
wait, is Kick-Ass an actual sequel to Wanted or is this all head canon grade shit
>>
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CREDITS TIME!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iol0B-clFFM
>>
>>64465272
The way they connected them was a bit clumsy, though Simon's cameo was a nice touch
Now if he'd only get to making Nemesis 2...
>>
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>>64465396
Millar explained it in a bigger blog post. And yes. IT IS.
>>
>>64465196
Hit-Girl's mom isn't dead in the movies
>>
>>64465397
YOU as UNWILLING VICTIM
>>
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BUT WAIT
>>
>>64465397
>>64465423
wait... I...
>>
>>64465397
IT WAS A PLAY THE ENTIRE TIME
suddenly every thing is much more palatable
>>
>>64465052
Didn't someone link to a site earlier where someone claimed that D. Lizewski on that chart is a patient in the hospital?
>>
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After Credits scenes are ALL the rage right now.
>>
>>64465450
THERE'S WHORES
>>
Jupiter's Legacy is never going to finish .
I just hope Quitely doesn't get Multiversity even more delayed than he all ready has. To wit, the Thunderworld issue has been done for about a year now.
>>
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There will always be a Kick-Ass.
>>
>>64464651
i really thought his "thing" for blondes meant kickass or mindy was getting raped but nothing ever came of it...gay for the sake of being edgy i guess...like most of the gay kids from highschool.
>>
>>64465427
She committed suicide while Big Daddy was in prison.
>>
>>64465141
Good job, Todd. You too, Dave. Really happy for both.
>>
>>64465517
THE CYCLE BEGINS ANEW
>>
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THE END.
I just have one question:
To those who were here all four nights. How are you holding up?
Also. RANK EM
>>
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>>64465517
> shot dead by a NY cop only answering to Dave
>>
>>64465517
Now I want them to run into Officer Dave.
>>
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And just for the fun of it I will also post the chart here in case the other link gets by-passed.
>>
>>64465558
>Also. RANK EM
KA3 > Hit-girl > KA >>> KA2
>>
>>64465558
1: A-
Hit-Girl: B-
2: C-
3: C
>>
>>64465185
Fukken nice.
>>
>>64465545
No, she's clearly alive by the end of the movie and she's in 2.
>>
>>64465615
Shit --> shittier shit --> shit squared --> please kill millar now --> can't stop the shit train
>>
lol did you guys read this
http://www.comicbookmovie.com/fansites/JoshWildingNewsAndReviews/news/?a=105624
>>
Well, at least Dave became a nice guy AND actually managed to get fucking strong and adept at fighting by the end.
He's a fucking hunk on those last few pages.
>>
>>64465558
1
3
2
Hit-Girl
>>
>>64465747
but... his name isn't on the patient list, it's on the staff list
>>
>>64465085
She's a coke head.
>>
>>64465242
More like suspended with pay after choking-holding an obese asthmatic to death.
>>
>>64465427
Yes, she is. Big Daddy's backstory is real in the movies.
>>
>>64465272
Are any of those books worth reading? I kind of liked Wanted as well as Kick Ass 1 and 3, but if it's anywhere near what Kick-Ass 2 was I want to avoid it like the plague
>>
>>64465558
it was an amazing ride Dave I don't think I regret a single night except maybe kick-ass 2 but even that one had a charm...somewhere. Thanks for the dump man I actually feel a bit empty now that its over.
>>
>>64465517
I like to think he turned into Nemesis.
>>
3 > 1 > Hit Girl >>>>>>>>>>>>>> 2
Only reasonable answer
>>
>>64465853
>She's a coke head.
> cocaine makes newtonian physics disappear conveniently
>>
>>64465879
Secret Service, MPH, Jupiter's Legacy, Superior, Starlight, and SuperCrooks are all alright to pretty good.
>>
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>>64465457
>>
>>64465881
You know, I'm really glad to hear that.
I never wanted to cause anger or harm.
Just wanted to experience this series with you and maybe riff a bit, I think was fun in that context. KA2 was the real challenge.
>>
>>64465558
KA>KA3>Hit-girl>>>>>>>>KA2
>>
Anyone else finds Val really cute?
>>
>>64465676
Marcus is the only one raising Mindy in the 2nd film.
>>
>>64465558
Hm.
>Kick Ass 3
>Kick Ass
>Hit-Girl
>Kick Ass 2
>>
AH SNAP
Almost forgot the link
>https://www.mediafire.com/?lajlsulzlcgub
Now we're officially done.
>>
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>>64465517
>you will never have a petite, fit ninja assassin break into your bedroom at night and call you a pussy
>>
>>64465486
> kid actually trying to work through his problems
HEY FAGTARD IT'S TIME YOU BEAT KIDS WHO SPIT ON YOU INTO PINK PASTE, THIS WILL FIX EVERYTHING
I wish the old faggot had killed her
>>
>>64465558
KA3 > KA1 > HG > KA2
>>
>>64465423
Anyone find it cute that the three Genovese Brothers are eating together?
>>
>>64465517
Mindy, you're the devil.
>>
>>64463884
Didn't Frank do this a long time ago?
>>
Is it weird to anyone else that Kick-Ass hooked up with Groot's GF?
>>
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>>64466641
wife even
>>
>>64461511
They killed Turk, those bastards
>>
THANK YOU OP.
I'm going to be a superhero later in life or in the next. This world needs more role models in tights!
>>
You know realize that Dave was a cop during Superior and had to deal with the crazy shit that went down there.
>>
Making this a sequel to Wanted retroactively gives some stuff some sense. The reason that they can pull this stuff off, the reason that Hit-Girl can be so outlandish, is because they were always meant to be this way. The villains just made them forget.
>>
So if this is a sequel to wanted where are all those villains
>>
>>64467481
It's clearly an idea that Millar came up with way later in the game than he would ever admit. He probably woke up one morning while writing KA3 and had the idea then.
But you could say that they didn't give a shit about little vigilantes that really didn't amount to anything. We should be asking why they weren't in Superior.
>>
>>64465085
She hit him right in the balls that would hurt any man. Tbh that hurt me and i was only reading it
>>
>>64458427
Maaan I missed a KA2 storytime? Was it as fun to watch as an Ultimatum storytime?
>>
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just when I finish this based Dave upload Kick-ass
, and know i wanna become a street hero too, damn
>>
>>64459780
I just realized something. Rocco likes Blond, blue-eyed, boys. Dave is one of those. I wonder if that's gonna come up.
>>
>>64461067
Now as a farce this is actually a great read
>>
>>64468225
she broke his pelvis, one of the harder bones in the human body with nothing more than a fist
also implied 60lbs of tissue removed without him bleeding to death
if mark millar met a fact he would run away shrieking and shitting his depends
>>
>>64465358
no, Millar confirmed it wasn't on twitter
>>
>>64460673
Her mom or dad might have been one of those people that think that Vaccines cause autism in children, even though every study that tries to link the two has been fucking debunked, and didn't let her get a polio shot. In fact, ever since that one dude faked his results to link the two, there's been a rise in Polio in America.
>>
>>64469786
I wish someone would make a comic about anti-vaxers dying horribly
>>
>>64465517
>you'll never be in training hell by Hit-Girl and get hit on the dunk by her fists
Why keep living?
>>
>>64469786
It could be a jab at Carrey then
>>
>>64463080
>Haha! I've used stirrups, straps, and gay porn to have your GAY SON impregnate your daughter! And don't you try to give her an abortion, detective, because I've rigged her snizz with TINY BOMBS that will COLLAPSE HER WOMB if you try! Mwahahaha!
Nemesis.
>>
>>64465029
>>64465052
>a dream from a comatose boy
>>
>>64461436
I was sure Dog Man was building up to something. Juicer too.
>>
>>64461474
>>64461455
>>64461492
Doctor Gravity! No! But you didn't totally suck!
>>
>>64470893
it's autosaging anon
>>
>>64463432
Didn't his mom try to kill him?
>>
>>64465487
This is Millar, not Miller.
>>
>>64465879
Nemesis is WORSE than Kick-Ass 2. Let that settle in your brain.
>>
>>64466641
Groot doesn't have a wife, he is a tree.
>>
>>64464113
She's 12.
>>
>>64464471
How did she already lock the doors?
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