you love her... but post meals your mom always fucks up

>>7344071
Literally everything except Baked Mac and Cheese, Roast Chicken, and chicken gravy.

>>7344076
jesus sorry bro

>>7344071
i used to think that flames in the kitchen and ruined food was just something that happened to people sometimes

>>7344071
nothing except fried chicken....I like it slightly burnt and she always fries it until it's normal-goldenbrown color even though I ask her to fry them a bit more for me......................

>>7344071
Not a meal, but tomato pasta sauce. Whenever I cook up a batch she occasionally dumps in the random vegetables she has left, usually with some other sauce on them. Sorry mom, but broccoli and cabbage do not work well in pasta sauce.

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>mom cooks sloppy joes
>it ain't even sloppy

you had one fucking job

does anyone else's dad cook (on a regular basis) more than their mum does? my dad does day to day dishes like curries, spag bol or w/e during the week and my Mum does cooking at the weekends, either a roast or whatever random middle eastern dish she decides to make

good division of labour imo

>>7344071
>fucks up

Dude the things I dreaded most from her is what she claims she does right.


Her version of spaghetti is salsa and hamburger meat with noodles.

>>7344134
she's doing you a favor

>>7344071
Not to try to disagree with the premise of the thread or anything (because I imagine it's a pretty real struggle) but my mother was actually a good cook. Many of my fondest memories of her are those involving the food she made. This isn't really something I talk about but yeah, she made nice food. I liked that about her.

>>7344173
my mom made good food also but when she fucks up she FUCKS UP

never seen anything like it

I love my mum but helping her out in the kitchen is painful;

>Under seasoned
>Under spiced
>Main dish with no sides
>Pan never hot enough
>Pre-cooking things that don't need pre-cooked
>Serving too small
>Things accepted 'as-is', doesn't improve recipes or techniques based on results
>Repeating the same flavors across everything
>Bottled lemon juice instead of real lemons
>"Zest of a fruit" literally 1/2 tsp used
>Roasting veggies at 180
>Lack of diversity of texture
>Throwing edible food out because it's "been open too long"
>Salad every meal, never any dressing
>Following Delia Smith recipe books from 30 years ago.
>"Soya sauce"
>Taking ingredients out of recipes because of face-value readings, commons ones; fish sauce, pickles, vinegar, unusual spices, alcohol

Whenever she asks for advice I always tell her; don't worry about taking things too far, think about not taking them far enough. An over-seasoned dish will still taste good just not as good as it could, but an underseasoned thing is missing something, it's much worse.

>>7344184
You are the reason I want to become warchief to The Black Hand of Sauron

>>7344071
Literally everything

I mean everything, she can't cook anything at all without ruining it. Even the dog won't touch anything she's ruined.

reason why I'm so into cooking is because I had to start when I was like 11 just to give ourselves halfway food to eat

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>>7344191

Shucks anon, glad I factor into your life-long decision making so much but why would you want to become the military leader for a fictional villain that lost?

>>7344181
Well that's no good. My mother never fucked up. At least not catastrophically. Every now and again we would get the feeling that she was kind of losing her culinary touch in her old age. I'm very grateful for the years she was the greatest cook in the world to me. It was very important in my childhood I guess. A lot of people don't ever get the opportunity to eat like I ate. And we were middle class. So I have no complaints. I wish I'd learned more from her.

>>7344071
I can't remember she ever fucked anything up, except falling asleep once after a night shift while cooking rice (kek). Her grandma raised her so that's probably where she learned the cooking from.

My mom is the best cookbro too.

>>7344204
Guy's got a point.

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>>7344204
I was refer g to their existence which is filled with hatred fury and agony....

>>7344071
Chronic unsalter and overcooks meat, but save for me, my entire does that. The only meals I consistently remember hating was her picadillo, dirty rice, all of her cold melon soups and her take on black mole. Great baker, but can't make a decent loaf of bread to save her life.

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>>7344146
Dear god that sounds terrible.

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>>7344071
my grandmother cannot make fried chicken wortha shit. it's always terrible. her stir fries are ALWAYS greasy and fucked up as well.

that being said, she makes a hollandaise sauce perfectly and with almost no effort, what's the deal with that

Steak

>>7344260
Damn, mine too. I love literally everything she cooks except for fried, breaded chicken breast.
It's tasty, but she cuts it so thin that it becomes dry as fuck when fried. Texture is like eating wood chips.

>>7344264
Well what's weird is that her breaded/fried pork cutlets and most of the time chicken cutlets are fine. But she thinks fried chicken legs/thighs are some entirely different animal and she fucks it up magnificently. The breading is always different (limper, greasier) and the meat is always a tiny bit undercooked so that even the inside of the chicken has a weird greasy kind of texture.

BUT the chicken gravy she makes afterward is unreal.

>>7344260
Hollandaise is pretty easy. I made it on my first try and I fuck simple shit up all the time.

>>7344280
I don't know man it is a pretty famously finnicky thing to make. I can do it, I just never look forward to it.

She'd always overcook roast beef to a rubbery texture. I hated roast beef when I was younger because of that.

Every time she makes thanksgiving turkey its dry as shit, likely literally inedible unless you drown it in gravy. Speaking of gravy, we just buy canned gravy instead of making it.

>>7344316
That's every turkey. They're impossible took every piece correctly at the same time, and most families just put the bird in the oven and bake it. Fuck baked

>>7344172
>favor
>doing something you don't like instead of what you asked for
A favor would be doing what he requested, not ignoring him and thinking your way is the only way. I'll bet you don't let your daughter wipe her ass the way she wants.

>>7344427
I wouldn't if she wanted to use carcinogenic toilet paper, no.

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>reading this thread
One second, I need to call to my mom real quick to tell her I love her.

>>7344134
because she is aware you are being a retard.

>>7344071
she always cooks chicken too long and it gets dry. She is really paranoid about meat temperatures and the like.

> Lasagne with cottage cheese instead of bechamel.

This is more of a poor substitute than a technically fucked-up dish, but man it makes the lasagne not taste right, like a pile of melted cheese pretty much.

Peas and/or celery in casseroles where they really just don't belong.

It's amazing how a few peas can ruin an otherwise good dish.

It was funny, as I got older I could tell how much less of a fuck my ma gave about everything, just from the food alone.

>>7344071
She fucks up everything except sketti with sauce from a jar, frozen pizza, or lasagna in a box. Oh, chicken nuggets she does pretty well.

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>made some soup the other day
>tomato soup with lentils, garlic and onions
>fucking great, extremely simple, but the taste reminds me of childhood
>remember my mother making a similar soup/stew
>bottom was burnt to fuck, it had potatoes, rice and 10 different vegetables in it
>she'd dump harissa paste and chili powder into it making it spicy as fuck
>boiled it for hours
>mfw i made a simpler, 300% better version of it with less ingredients in 45 minutes

>>7344071
Beef Stew
Most occasions when she makes it, it winds up being watery with the potatoes underdone and invariably missing peas for some reason.

Whenever my dad would make it, it comes out great on a pretty regular basis (full disclosure: my dad's really lazy so he doesn't cook often)

For a time we would eat with my grandma and grandpa every day for supper (she was bedridden and he was developing Alzheimer's) and when we made stew at home and brought it down she would always smile when it was made properly saying "[dad] made this, didn't he?". She was always right.

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>>7344222
>bland rice and beans and funky, cheap avocado
>no dressing on 10 spinach leaves over rubbery looking tofu
>in a plastic tub double the amount of the food
>mom sends you to school every day with this for lunch

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My mother sees eating as a necessity, not as a pleasure. So, everything she cooks is very bland and... uninspiring.

I recently started to dip hard into cooking, so i've been experimenting with all the stuff i can find, but she's extremely picky (like... won't eat a chicken breast unless she cleans it herself, se can't stand fat at all, same with pork). Since we both agree on chicken and pork, i've started to focus on these two, learning new recipes and so. But whenever i "don't feel like" cooking, she just... messes up. Would just fry the chicken in some oil... end. Salt, not even rosemary... anything.

But, she can pack one mean Bologna sauce. My grandma had (has) a good recipe, so whenever we feel like celebrating, we get 500g of mixed meat and rock the oven pasta.

>>7345075
ur soup sucks, faggot

>Mom cooks dinner
>Somehow 50% of it is flavorless crunchy onion chunks, no matter what

I wish I had a mom that could cook. I would've stayed home longer if she could. On the bright side, it's the reason I learned to cook.

>>7345240
thanks mom.

>>7344071
Everything now that the Alzheimers has gotten bad.

Chicken. It's always too dry no matter how she does it. The only time it came out tender and juicy was when I insisted she use a brine. That was the one and only time. Other than that, she's a great cook and grills a mean steak when she decides to splurge on higher quality meats.

>>7344169
My dad cooks 90% of the time. He's damn brilliant too, he can make anything. His pasta's amazing.
Mum hates cooking to the point where 80% of what she makes are soups, 10% is cooked from frozen and 10% is toast. She doesn't even chop veggies properly. All she does is peel them into oblivion and cut them in half, so sometimes you get a random chunk of un-pureed vegetable lurking amid the soup.
Visiting is nice, because she makes an effort and Dad does most of the work, but am I glad I have my dad's cooking skills.

>>7344071
Everything except spaghetti, but she fucks that up too by putting raisins in the meatballs.

>>7345232
>bland rice and beans
I used this:
http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/robert-irvine/red-beans-and-rice-recipe.html

Instead of celery I used leek and instead of chicken stock I used vegetable.

No dressing on spinach, because I like the gentle flavour of fresh spinach and can snack on that shit, also rice and beans was pretty flavoursome.

The 'tofu' is salt pepper and oregano baked sweet potato, first time I made it but pretty tasty.

I'm eating this same meal for lunch and dinner, as I prefer to cook once for the whole week.

The avo was in chunks with salt pepper and lemon, but everything got mixed up in transit.

>>7345769
Also, instead of 1 can of beans I used chickpeas and the plastic box is too big because my brother and dad are on some gym flex now and all are stealing boxes for their protein meals at work and what not.

Pls love me anon :, (

>>7344071
basically any kind of chicken, and any kind of beef. she cooks them until they're rubber. ironically she undercooks the fuck out of pizza.

My mom was (is) a great cook, and is the reason I even started cooking myself; I wanted to be able to make delicious foods like her. Fuck. Why did you make this thread m8? It hurts me.

My mom makes great soups, roasts, and casseroles, but holy shit she cannot do anything with a pot and pan.

She fucking cleans the cast iron that cost her like 200 dollars with SOAP.

We get along in the kitchen, though.

>>7345937
>SOAP
So fucking what?

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Pizza.

She goes out on the whole 200 grams of vegetables a day and just layers it with a shitload of veg that has been pre-cooked to shit, 3 times the size of the dough. Ignores me saying that we need to hydrate the yeast, claiming it's instant yeast when it's not, so the dough doesn't even rise. Dumps an entire bag of low-fat cheese on it because she doesn't want to be left with leftovers.

End result is a flat and hard bottom, dried out cheese and a mouthfull of vegetables that don't even taste like anything.

>>7345947
Oh and she refuses to use circular trays and bakes it all in the same time with a large rectangular tray. Nothing really wrong with that but because of the shit dough it sticks to the tray and the end result is a slab of mess that has more tears than Lindsay Lohan's pussy.

>>7345943
Dude, the more you cook with cast iron the more you season the pan and the better your steaks will taste.

Roasted meats cooked so much cutting it leaves a kind of 'meat sawdust' every Sunday, then they wonder why I don't like to cone over ahahaha.
Also, she out a layer if swede in a Sheppards pie below the mash. I threw up violently at the betrayal.

>>7344071
Everything.

She's got some weird problems with salt and pepper, as well as a lot of other things. They're not even medical issues, just some psychological thing I'm guessing. She can't even get a steak right because it has to be seasonless, extra lean and we'll done. I've acquired a taste for burnt food because that's the most flavor I could get from her cooking. On the bright side, I can eat pretty healthy without a second thought, but these days I just spoil myself with actual food.

>>7345997
I should add that thanksgiving is something I dread every year. Doesn't help that we don't have relatives in this country.

My mom's cooking is okay across the board, but there's a few things that just puzzle me in hindsight
>plain rice with white sauce (bechamel)
>potatoes always slightly undercooked and undersalted
>turkey or chicken breast cut into large chunks instead of thin strips, so it was hard to cook them evenly
>which often went wrong
>some meals would consist solely of potato and zucchini pancakes with applesauce

>>7344169
It was the other way around when I still lived at my parents' house. My mom would cook during the week and my dad on the weekends, which meant that he got to make all the Sunday roasts and shit, while she whipped up turkey breasts and rice in a hurry during the week.

My mom learned to cook at like age 12 or something like that helping my grandmother cook. So she rarely fucks anything up.

My mom used to do a quick baked pasta which included a box of pasta in a casserole dish, a jar of sauce, a jar of water, mixed together and topped with cheese. It wasn't bad but it wasn't great either.