I can fry eggs, grill bacon, and make toast. That's about it.
What are some recipes it's mandatory to know if you want to survive in this world?
I think it's more important to know techniques
When you got that shit down you can just google any recipe and more or less figure out how to cook the food by just looking at the list of ingredients
Don't learn recipes, learn techniques. How to make a roux, , basic sauces (bechamel, veloute, salsa, guacamole, etc), knife-work, how to properly carmelize onions/garlic, how to peel/mince garlic or ginger or turmeric, how to deglaze, how to cook rice and pasta, how to knead dough, how to recognize complementary flavors, how the order in which to cook vegetables, etc.
Woah. Half those phrases are new to me. Roux, bechamel, veloute, guacamole, carmelize, turmeric, deglaze.
I have a cousin who lives in a household which pride themselves on being able to cook. He sometimes comments on the quality of the food he's eating, and I sometimes think I'm better off not having any sensitivity towards how food tastes.
You don't know them, but yeah, they fucking are, often.
The father got all pissy with me one time because I didn't cook some fish --properly--.
I'm not bothering about cooking it nice and right, and making the presentation all cool. I'm just hungry and need to eat.
It sounds scary, but most of those aren't that complicated
Just heat up some oil or butter or other fat over low-medium heat, then slowly add in the same amount of flour while whisking. Whisk until it is smooth. Increase temperature to medium and keep whisking. The longer you whisk, the darker the color. At a minimum, this takes about three minutes of cooking, at which point it will be white or slightly off-white.
Make a roux, and when it is just cooked (about 3 minutes), pour in hot milk while whisking. This is sort of a generic "white sauce" that you can use for things like pasta (macaroni), in casseroles, over vegetables, etc. You can also throw in some cheese and let it melt, then dip stuff in it.
Basically a sort of gravy. Make a roux, add in a light-colored stock (chicken, fish, vegetable). You can also add a dark-colored stock (beef, mushroom, etc) to make a 'normal' gravy.
You've really never had it? It's just mashed up avocado, tomato, onion, garlic, lime juice, cilantro, etc.
This is just a fancy word for what happens when you cook sugar - it turns brown and gets a 'caramel' sort of sweet taste. If you cook onions for a long time on medium-low heat in some oil, they turn brown and get sweet. You can do the same to garlic, but it's a lot faster with garlic so generally you start with the onion and add garlic toward the end. You can caramelize other things too, but onions and garlic are the most common.
It's a root, like ginger, that is common in Indian food. Like ginger, it has a skin that you peel off, then you can run it over a cheese grater or whatever to make into a powder. You can just buy it in powdered form too, but a nice skill to have.
Just a fancy word for throwing alcohol, vinegar, broth, or whatever into a pot/pan that you've been cooking other things in. Like you maybe brown some meat, and some of it gets real stuck to the bottom? Deglaze it with a splash of red wine, crape the bottom with a spoon or whatever, use the resulting liquid to make a sauce (or just spoon it over your steak, w/e)
I mentioned stock, so that's a good one too:
1. Put stuff in water
2. Boil for a long time
3. Pour through a strainer
E.g., to make mushroom broth for later making mushroom gravy:
1. Caramelize some onions/garlic
2. Deglaze with about a shot worth of red wine
3. Fill the pot with water and mix it up
4. Throw in a fuckload of mushrooms, also some chopped up celery, carrots, whatever else
5. Boil it for a while
6. Strain, salt to taste
>Also, should I get MSG?
Yes, MSG is delicious and it's basically cheating at food. Just keep a "Don't ask, don't tell" policy and literally no one will know. MSG symptoms are entirely imagined, and if they don't know there's MSG in it, they won't have a headache or whatever bullshit symptom they say it gives them (same thing with gluten, unless they actually are coeliac).
As for spices? Just start with a few staples and some common blends:
> Black and white pepper
> Garlic powder
> Onion powder
> Ginger powder
> Cayenne powder
> Italian seasoning, curry powder, other pre-made blends like that
I think MSG is cheating, personally. If you can cook food that tastes good without it then you won't need it. I personally don't use it.
The spices you get should be reflective of your tastes. Salt and Pepper are a must. Cinnamon too, arguably. Cayenne and/or Paprika are also very useful. I personally use a lot of cumin, it goes well in Mexican, Italian, and Indian cuisine.
If you like Italian foods, then herbs/spices like oregano, parsley, thyme, sage, rosemary, garlic powder are good. For Indian, curry powder, turmeric, ginger, nutmeg, cilantro/coriander...
I make my own taco seasoning when I want to "insta-mex" something; it's chili powder, garlic powder, onion powder, red pepper, oregano, paprika, cumin, S & P.
Really it's dependent on your tastes.
Take one part tomato DNA and one part arctic fish DNA. fire gold ions at them until some of the fish DNA is randomly integrated into the tomato DNA. patent this as frost proof tomato and now you're a trillion dollar corporation with government protection and military backing.
For asian food, always have some sweet, some salt, some sour, and some spice. Try to incorporate all these into one dish with out overpowering one against another. I like adding [spoiler] siracha [/spoiler] to my stuff.
Also on the topic of msg ive never used it, so take my word with a grain of salt, but all ive heard is its like cheating, so if I make something and its good, I feel proud because I made it, but if I used msg i'd just feel like it did all the work. Oh well just my 2 cents.
Also, never ever label your produce and call it what it is. simply under-sale normal produce with the help of tax payer money and subvert the entire global food economy. Don't worry about the health effects or long term biology impact, because you're a undead corporation and that's not your problem.
Everyone should know how to before leaving their parent's house:
Grill a steak
Roast a chicken
Make a beef stew (like beef bourguignon)
Cook eggs (fry, hard boil, scramble)
You two are retarded, I cut my onions like every chef does. it's the most efficient cut, my dad i was visiting litterally took the knife away from me because I wouldn't chop off the stem and mangle the shit out of the onion when he told me to dice it.
Being a retard with asburgers in the kitchen has nothing to do with skill and everything to do with being a self absorbant prick
Bolognese. It's a versatile Italian meat ragu that is great with many forms of pasta (tossed with tagliatelle or spaghetti, layered in a lasagna, baked in a casserole with penne pasta, poured on top of ricotta stuffed manicotti). Non-intensive to make too.
Stir-fry. Endless protein, vegetable, sauce combinations. Cook your protein first, take out. Put in aromatics and vegetables, then meat again. Pour in sauce and thicken. Serve over rice.
A classic Parisian omelette (watch Jacques Pepin on Youtube). Can be stuffed with pretty much anything. Great for breakfast or for lunch with a side salad. QUICK to prepare.
Roasting a chicken. That's honestly a basic. Hot homemade gravy made from drippings over mashed potatoes provides more comfort than any overpaid therapist.
Those are just off the top of my head.
Note: No amount of MSG will make crap taste better. Even if you add a fuckload of MSG to terribad foods, it will always and forever taste like crap. From my experience, Ajinomoto (that's MSG for you non-azn kiddies) only enhances what's already there, it doesn't make your food taste better or worse, just enhances what is already there.
>No amount of MSG will make crap taste better
This. MSG is cheating in the same way that salt is cheating. It's just that it's less salty and more savory. It won't save your food from being shit, but it might make your vegetable soup stock more delicious.