My friend's sister made chicken breast once.
>Dry as fuck to the point of being nearly impossible to swallow
>Way too overdone
>mfw I had to say it was good so I didn't hurt her feelings
I remember being around 8 years old and hanging out at a friends house. His mom made us tuna sandwiches for lunch. Upon taking the first (and only) bite, I was hit with a taste more foul than I had ever experienced. It was Miracle Whip.. With sweet relish. I never trusted his mom's cooking again.
Miracle Whip. Not even once.
Oh shit... That's rough bro.
My dad used to hate chicken breast, as it dries easily and he'd typically just feed it to his dog when he lived in Yugoslavia.
And then I figured out that brushing olive oil, herbs and spices all over a chicken breast and cooking it slowly for a longer time on a raised section of the grill yields chicken that's not only the perfect level of tenderness but is also flavourful and juicy as fuck.
My dad was in disbelief when I perfected my grilling technique
My girlfriend in high school's mom was a caterer. One night I stayed over for dinner and expected great things but all I got was a watery chicken lasagna. I think she put water in to cook the noodles because they were still mostly crunchy. The chicken was dry as fuck and unseasoned. She also shredded up carrots and zucchini and yellow squash in place of sauce, ricotta and cheese.
>go to friend's family for dinner
>friend's older sister cooked chicken
>kind of bland, no big deal. fill up on sides
>friend puts hot sauce on the chicken
>WHAT YOU DON'T LIKE MY FOOD
>friend storms off to his room
>high school senior
>kinda seeing this guy at school for a bit. Flirting and getting flowers and such.
>nerdy boy next door type.
>go over to his house to hang out after school. It gets around dinner time......
>his parents live in this old farmhouse that's falling apart. His whole family are hoarders.
>I say I'm hungry and we should either get take out or make something here.
>he tries to get me to stay over longer and says we should eat here.
>brings up a whole family sized bag of Doritos and two cans of coke.
>reality sinks in and I figure out he means to share an entire bag of Doritos and a can of coke as dinner.
>not even bullshit poorfag food like hotdogs and Kraft Mac and cheese. literally a giant bag of Doritos and soda. That's it.
>Meet Polish guy at work
>He has just moved to the UK and can barely speak English
>Nice guy though
>Wants to prove that he is a good Englishman
>Tells me to come to his house so he can cook me a traditional British fish and chips
>Go to his house the next day, kind of excited because I have no friends
>I get to his house
>He is singing rule Britannia very badly
>Don't mind, he is trying to fit in
>He takes me to the table
>As we walk through his tiny apartment notice several things that seem very off
>Pictures of male British celebrities from boy bands and football teams
>Sit down at the table
>He grabs a plate of food and puts it in front of me
>look at the plate
>a teaspoon of garden peas
>some McDonalds chips that have been reheated in the Microwave (could see the McDonalds packaging in the corner)
>the fish is canned tuna with some white bread crumbled over the top and what seems to be vegetable oil poured on the top
>he smiles and asks what I think
>don't want to be rude
>laugh and say 'W-winston Churchill would be proud'
>he laughs and says he loves Winston Churchill
>Notice he has no food
>Says he already ate, just wants to watch a British person eat British food
>every few minutes he dips his fingers into the food and holds them in a 'V for Victory' sign then says 'lick Winston's fingers' and I have to do it to avoid offending him
>pretend it was nice
>manage to leave
>ever since then he keeps inviting me back for shepards pie
>caring what other people do with their food before they eat it at all, ever
Maybe I am just a beatific saint of a man with no ill will towards others, but they can stuff their food up their ass before they eat it as long for all I care as they don't touch mine
In olden times the weak would die out, not living long enough to pollute the gene pool. How does it feel knowing you're only alive by the grace of politicians to pass on your defective genes at the expense of humanity?
I only get angry if they spoil their appetite while I'm cooking. Then, it's like, what the fuck asshole? I'm doing you a favor here, and you can't just wait another half hour?
Same with barely touching it, then going and eating some snacks when it's perfectly good.
>le edgy darwinism post
History is littered with disabled people who have contributed more to humanity than your dumb, shitposting ass ever will. We both know you are a fucking loser, so just shut the fuck up.
>ASS BLASTED TARD DETECTED
No. Just shut up, loser.
>dating qt pie
>i usually cook for her, it's something i enjoy doing
>one day, she decides to cook me something when i'm going over to her place
>get to her apartment
>smells like burnt toast
>she comes over
>hands me charcoal, which looked like it could've been a pork chop in a previous encarnation
>it has some sort of sauce, which apeared to be ketchup on top of it.
>some black "sea weed" on the side
>tell her she can't cook worth shit (in a polite way)
man, telling her she couldn't cook was hard. not as hard as eating charcoal though..
it looked like pic related
>stay the night at a new friend's house
>plan for mom to pick me up at noon the next day
>parents are gone
>no food in the house
>hunger of a thousand orphans
>friend microwaves kraft cheese on stale Saltines
>call mom to pick me up earlier
>vaguely mentions that there are exceptions to the rule that were born long after the pussification of society had already started
>WEEEWWW get rekd edgelord I win cause I said so!!!111!!qq
Apologies anon, I concede this argument to your ironclad logic
when i was a little kid my dad's forced me to try tangerines, saying it was the sweetest thing ever.
only problem was the one i tried was completely burnt and starting to rot.
what i'll never forget is the absolute worst taste, of death, as i'm biting down on the fruit, and my parent's smug fucking faces going
>sweet isn't it
>oh, and you didn't want to try it
>look how sweet it is
i spat the cursed fruit and never ate a tangerine again.
Nothing you post is going to change the fact that you are a fucking loser. I know it, and even if it makes you uncomfortable to admit it to yourself, you know it too. You can say whatever cutesy meme shit you want at this point, doesn't change the fact that you are and will continue to be an utter failure of a human being.
Not the worst thing i ever tasted but left a bad taste in my mouth
>be 4 yrs old
>first time trying enchiladas with red Chile
> don't wanna eat it cause red sauce
>"try it or I'm whooping your ass"
>at this point in my life I discovered wall sockets
>they fascinate me
>and my little fingers are just the perfect size
>have socket behind me as im sitting against the wall
>nervously finger fuck my house as i take a bite
>catch a shock as my tongue tastes enchilada
>mouth tastes of copper
>refuse to eat more
>never ate red enchiladas for 16 years until I remember back to that day and have an epiphany
>mfw my retarded toddler self screwed me out of so many delicious meals
>16yr old me
>gf parents are out of house
>we fuck for first time (her first time)
>gf in a dick trance, tries to act like a wifey
>her family is at edge of poverty level income
>only thing she can think to throw together is chunky peanut butter and marshmallows on wheat bread.
>prepares and serves it to me naked
>it was fucking delicious
I feel kinda foolish now. I thought we were getting into a fun shitposting debate but your anus is far to inflamed to argue rationally. At the very least I can take solace in knowing I gave you fuel for your tumblr rants about how it's [current year] and 4 chinz still talks like it's [past year]
My roommates are the friends I've had since elementary school, and one of them is super unhealthy and eats the grossest shit
>only one who's never cooked before
>tells me about this great potato soup that her mom makes
>"i'm gonna make this soup for dinner guys"
>she buys all of the ingredients
>tells me that she doesn't know how to use a knife or turn on the stovetop
>I end up "cooking" the soup
now i will tell you the ingredients
>hamsteak cut into cubes
>except she couldn't find hamsteak, so spiral cut ham cut into squares
>3 cans of campbell's cheddar cheese slop (pic related)
>2 cans worth of milk
>5 peeled red potatoes, cubed
it was the worst thing I've ever seen, /ck/
I felt like I was being held hostage, having to put this monstrosity together
"Ever went over a friends house to eat
And the food just ain't no good?
I mean the macaroni's soggy, the peas are mushed,
And the chicken tastes like wood
So you try to play it off like you think you can
By saying that you're full
And then your friend says, "Mama, he's just being polite
He ain't finished, uh-uh, that's bull!"
So your heart starts pumpin' and you think of a lie
And you say that you already ate
And your friend says "Man, there's plenty of food"
So you pile some more on your plate
While the stinky food's steamin', your mind starts to dreamin'
Of the moment that it's time to leave
And then you look at your plate and your chicken's slowly rottin'
Into something that looks like cheese
Oh so you say "That's it, I gotta leave this place
I don't care what these people think,
I'm just sittin' here makin' myself nauseous
With this ugly food that stinks"
So you bust out the door while it's still closed
Still sick from the food you ate
And then you run to the store for quick relief
From a bottle of Kaopectate
And then you call your friend two weeks later
To see how he has been
And he says, "I understand about the food,
Baby Bubba, but we're still friends"
>dating this girl older than me
>cook for her all the time
>she's always talking about how she can't cook, like she's given up and it's just a fact now that cooking won't be happening
>except she makes these great cookies everyone loves
>they're called psychology cookies, something to do with that she invented them during a psychology class or something?
>she makes 4 (four) of them for me as a special occasion
>she warns me before splitting one that they were a bad batch and they will be dry
>she was right beyond belief
>gummy, unswallowable, absorbs all your saliva, what is the point of this horrible horrible salt patty
>the remaining three sat in my fridge for months because I would feel guilty to throw them away but god damn who would eat that
>does 'psychology cookie' mean you're testing my mentality by baking some horrific shit?
Babe it's sweet and all but I need a girl who's capable of execution. I mean it's fucking baking, and this is why we're broken up. You gotta be able to cook. Return my SpaFinder gift cards.
Probably when I was a kid and had a sleepover at friends house. His dad made pancakes from scratch and they were the most disgusting things ever. I waited until everyone was out of the room and buried the pancakes in the garbage, and I've always hated wasting food.
The thing is, this man was a chef.
>at friend's house
>friend's mom is a milf who bakes like a goddess
>see a tray of yellow cake or some shit on the counter
>"hey (friend's mom) can i have one of these"
>"yeah they're lemon squares, i made them for my poker club"
>take a bite of one
>they're lemon soap squares
>dating cute girl
>our like 3 month anniversary or some shit
>she gives me a box of treats that look beautiful but taste like a nightmare
>brownies taste like play-doh
>cookies taste like toe jam
>some kind of green tea bun that were soggy and insanely bitter
>eat the entire thing because pussy game 2 strong
>have hard shits for 3 days
>she cheats on me with my brother a month later
Also I think the worst thing I could've eaten were some Christmas cookies I made in home economics
No real story there except I read tsp as tbsp when it came timee to add the salt. One of my partners was brave enough to eat the cookies and got wicked nausea. Snickerdoodles came out good though.
they're adding their own flavours to something you've cooked, so if you made a point of carefully judging the flavour of it yourself it can be a bit insulting.
i just get mad when people put ketchup on my food because i fucking hate ketchup.
speaking of polish guys
>helping out at a bed and breakfast round the corner
>doing some gardening, decorating and removals stuff for the owner who is kind of a milf
>polish guy is flirting with her and they clearly have a very affectionate relationship
>while we're working on something the owner comes in and says she's making us lunch
>the polish guy waits for her to leave and says 'do not stay when she asks you to stay. it is poison. come with us for a kebab, or i have some sausage in my bag'
>i get a bit creeped out plus i have no money so i stay
>the polish guys leave just as the owner comes out with a huge pan of boiled celery and flaxseeds
later that year the polish guy and i built a smoker in her back garden and smoked sausages, a rack of lamb, bacon, salmon, plus a marinated lamb shoulder we slow roasted later for the owner's birthday party. fucking good times
Not even him, but...
>implying chicken would be bad in lasagne
Enchilada is basically just Mexican lasagne, right?
>flour/water dough sheets
>all placed into a baking and/or casserole dish
>in alternating layers
>sauce poured over it all
>baked in an oven
Yeah. That sounds a lot like lasagne to me. And you wouldn't argue that most would say that chicken isn't a very popular filling for enchiladas, yeah? So why would it be bad for lasagne? I don't think it would. I'd give it a try. Why wouldn't you?
I'd bet chicken thighs slow-cooked in a good tomato sauce then pulled/shredded and layered with cheese and pasta would be pretty good. Very good, even.
What Anon described, however, sounds abysmal.
I had some weird relatives that I only visit once serve potato salad but it was basically boiled potatoes with green onion and like five fucking pounds of margarine
If anybody was watching when I put the spoon in my mouth they could have actually seen the excitement and joy drain away