And so it has begun... Been sober since 3rd of Aug 15,Had a great night at work, Offered a wee G'n'T, more tonic that gin, couldn't hurt .... Now a bottle has gone I've opened a bottle of vodka and started smoking cigs again
I've been an function alcoholic for most of my life, I hate AA saying it's an illness, I make choices, I digress. Alcohol thread
I can't remember the last time I was sober for a full 24 hours. Picked up two bottles of some shittyass rum and two packs of smokes earlier. Got a loaded Makarov 9mm here too. Cooking some dank beef stew.
This is my first day of sobriety since last Monday. Thanks Bowie. I went five days drinking two fifths of whiskey a day and yesterday i had a pint and a half. I feel good today and don't plan on drinking again anytime soon. We can make it bros.
>tfw you live in a state where you can't buy liquor or beer above 4% on Sundays and holidays
>tfw Martin Luther King day is reason enough to close down the state liquor stores
This is not a fucking holiday. This is literally an affirmative action holiday.
I have about 2 shots of vodka left and just picked up a <4% six pack of Guinness.
It's going to be a long night
Because we work 16 - 18 hour days for shit pay, hoping to make good food, my life is a mess because of my job, I take speed to stay awake, Valium, Xanax to to chill on so much Hydrocodine to numb my pain, and I'm 30 and don't have a star yet
There is always alcoholic sauce, wine, whiskey, sherry, port, even vodka lobster which is bullshit, I look across the line there is 1.5l of every type of bevvy,
and we are degenerates that love drink and drugs and have no social life
>mfw I just got back from the liquor store
are you that guy who is aways ranting about "progressives feminists" trying to take away your booze?
maybe you should plan ahead more
Because the work is stressful and (depending on the restaurant) high pressure. The way the trade of food is arranged means we are slaves to everyone and have very little room for sloppiness, and it grinds down your spirit having to deal regularly with the entitlement of an average consumer.
>the entitlement of an average consumer
It's the servers that are the worst.
They yell requests at you (as if everyone else wasn't already yelling at you), complain even when they were the ones to fuck up the order and demand you make it a priority to refire, spend half the night in the air conditioned dining room, and them count their tips in front of you while you're breaking down your station and they're complaining how so and so got to leave earlier than them.
Sometimes I am afraid I will become an alcoholic, but then I come across threads like these and know that I should never let my life become this. Pleaee know that you can do it, anons.
I've been an alcoholic and its nothing like what people believe. It is more like a romantic relationship based only on the superb sex, but it falls apart because you're incompatible in all other parts of your life. You still want to hook up but each time it is never as good, and it drifts out of your life, and you replace it by striving to truly enjoy life.
Some cunts need a good addiction to see the good in life
Think about it the other way around: why are alcoholics in to cooking?
The four basic drives are survival, sleep, sex and sustenance. When you're surviving, but your sleep and sex life are lost causes, sustenance is the only enjoyment you have left that's worth focussing on.
Evan? Makarov's are great little guns. If this is Evan, don't do anything stupid you motherfucker! Sounds like somethin' my buddy might do.
If not Evan, enjoy your night kemosabe! Beef stew is some good stuff this time of year.
Tfw trying to dry out and I'm a crabby asshole to all my friends.
Alcohol is the best worst thing in the world. Makes me not feel pain when drunk but the next day reality smashes in your teeth hence why I can see why the addiction starts. I've gotten to the point where it I get real drunk I have to drink a six pack the next day to keep "the fear" away.
Actually called a psychologist today to set up an appointment. Hasn't called back yet since it was his personal line but I'm hoping I can start feeling better eventually.
Gf of 4 years broke up with me. Saidand she couldn't marry me partially because of the shitty drinking I did. Was okay for the first month but it's all hitting me now. When you're with someone for that long they become like family when you break up its like they're dead except they can do e back from the grave and love someone else.
Feels fucking bad man. The alcohol has started to affect my health. I'm 23 and already on lisinopril because of the fucking drinking. All my anxiety and depersonalization has come back and tbqh as gay as this fucking sounds I just need a hug.
Anyone else wanna /vent/ ?
>at girl's house
>about to get my first kiss, maybe first fuck
>she whips out some Bombay
>take my first swig of alcohol ever
>tastes like black pepper
>go home to change jeans
>she never talks to me again
as backwards as this sounds, I kicked alcohol by becoming homeless. I moved into my car and bought a gym membership so I could take showers. ended up exercising everyday because I was paying for it and couldn't drink because I was afraid of a DUI. stopped drinking got fit and saved 68k in a little under two years.
thats rough man. I remember being that age, heartbreaks were pretty fucking brutal back then. if you think you can control yourself, give yourself permission to be a bit of a fuck up for a while. once you have taken a little time to start getting over her, get back on track and try to roll with the punches. sorry for your shitty luck, but just remember that one day it will please you to remember even this, and the best "revenge" is living well.
I stopped drinking when I started doing kratom. It just kind of killed any desire I had to drink. I'm sure trading one addiction for another is opening another can of worms but daily heavy drinking is so much harder on your body than you realize until you stop. Feels good not laying awake at 4:00 a.m. feeling miserable and nauseous hating myself.
fuck yes dude. kratom helped me quit like nothing else ever could. I did it for about 10 days, now I'm 4 days out from it, almost 2 weeks clean from booze and sleeping and feeling great. to any alcks in this thread who wanna kick the habit, order some fucking kratom asap.
Does it change your perception of reality all that much?
Part of the reason I drink is because pot fucked me up so much and gave me anxiety so i started drinking to counter that.
I can't deal with another drug induced panic attack
>promise myself I'd get sober for the new year
>has literally a jelly bean jar full of weed
>smoke non-stop for a week
>another friend visits this weekend
>he takes me to the bar and buys me whatever I want
>have practically been drunk for a week straight
Sobriety is boring anyway.
Don't sweat it too much.
I've been to a few therapist before. Most of them are pretty understanding, some might be a little confrontational but it's good because they're helping you to realize something that you don't want to.
Do you get absolutely crippling hangover anxiety?
I envy you. I can't even drink light beer quickly enough to get drunk. I used to be drink whiskey right out of the bottle, but ever since my sobriety phase, I can't keep anything down.
no, its mostly a narcotic like sensation. very calming and pleasant. herb gives me pretty bad anxiety these days too, I never had anything but a very good, chilled out time on kratom. buy from a reputable site though, so you get actual kratom and not who knows what.
No. It acts on the opioid receptors so pretty similar to all of those. It's different but I'd say it can be stronger than codeine but certainly not stronger than hydrocodone. I do have anxiety that I just have dealt with myself without medication or really changing my life too much other than some avoidance and I honestly can't say it affects that too much. I only do it at home, where I never have problems with anxiety anyway, but its probably helpful for anxiety in the same way that other opiates are. If I stop (and I only ever do it in the evenings after work and not even everyday) occasionally I do get feelings of depersonalization, but I used to have those sometimes anyway. You do have to be careful though starting out because doing too much WILL give you anxiety, nausea, and horrible dysphoria, but starting small and respecting the substance can avoid all of that.
>crippling hangover anxiety
extremely. It's less hangover, more withdrawal but same thing. Sometimes I can hardly even speak because my voice gets so shaky, and I get hand tremors back and am super jumpy
fuck are you me?
Sometimes I wonder how I got this fucked this young.
Everyone I know can drink like a fish and then have a slight hangover the next day and no problems.I can't even function when I'm hungover because I'm shaky, and in constant panic attack mode.
I'm with you though. I think it might be some mild withdrawal symptoms. The night after a day of heavy drinking is the worst. Terrible insomnia, fucked up dreams. Jesus just typing this out is making me realize i'm turning into an alcoholic.
Ya, I'm the guy who said earlier my parents had an intervention with me. I'm 23, just graduated and back living at home until I find a job. Basically they said if they see me drink another drop in the house I'm kicked out. It sucks but I think I needed something like this to get my shit together before it turns into a lifelong problem
I was always told people didn't get hangovers until they were in their 30's, but I'm in my early 20's and I'm so disoriented the morning of, even after just a 6 pack, that I can't do anything all day, even if I chug water the night before. Not to mention the worrying about every little insignificant facet of my life.
>Made it a full month from late nov til christmas sober. First time that long in years.
>Decided I could have a glass of wine on christmas eve.
>end up killing a bottle + a bottle of champaign
>Drink a 6pack of beer every single night after for a month straight
>last night first night sober my arm starts going numb when im trying to sleep while heart feels like its gonna explode
my new frustration with alcohol is how it makes my tongue feel fat.. words are harder to pronounce... and my knees get bowed. and my back hurts.
i'm not sure if i can ever get it out of my life, but i have found my limits. i can handle days without alcohol. it's so much better than days and days and days of alcohol... losing entire months.. feeling like the same thoughts and conversations are being repeated.. zero progress, nothing new.. only good thing alcohol really helps with is getting laid, honestly.
fuck that's the worst man, I get numbness in one of my arms as well when I stop. And I can't fall asleep because the heart pounding plus the anxiety makes me paranoid I'm going to die in my sleep
Well its good to know someone also gets the arm numb thing i honestly thought my heart was gonna give out and i was gonna die in my sleep like you mentioned. ive even had all sorts of tests done on my heart and they all have came back ok, but im still paranoid about it.
>losing entire months
Man, I know what you mean. I remember especially when I first started on my downhill slide, I had plenty of "lost weekends" where I just drank from the second I got off work on Friday until the second I passed out for good on Sunday night. This led to many a Monday where I was basically useless at work and should have just taken the day off to recover...although that would have just led to more drinking, honestly.
I remember when it used to be so fun. And now it's just a horrible reminder of how deep in the hole I was. I still have go out for drinks and occasionally have one to myself, but thank God I'm not where I used to be. Was pretty hardcore for about a year, and then spent a year really recovering. Now here I am.
>have too many empty spirit bottles
>sneak next door to put some in the neighbor's bin on garbage night
>his porch light flicks on as soon as I turn away
>quickly duck into my car which is parked onto the street
>the neighbor comes out and immediately walks up to bin and puts a single piece of paper in
>walks away without glancing inside the bin or in my direction
That was two months ago. Nobody has said anything. I still don't get it. Who goes out in the middle of the night to dispose just one piece of paper? But if he had noticed me, why didn't he actually look in?
>tfw 3 years sober
>When I drank, I had 2 suicide attempts, one of which came dangerously close if my dad hadn't climbed through my window and call 911 because I locked my door from the inside.
>Inpatient rehab once, outpatient once, dropped out of both, AA is a fuckin' cult
>Since sobriety I got a job. Not a good one, but a job, and reapplied at a different Uni currently waiting for acceptance.
>Things are definitely way better than when I was drinking, but I mainly switched to coffee/caffeine instead, along with copious tobacco use.
You can do it bros. I seriously know this feel.
Damn that sucks. One of the reasons i feel bad is because my parents know i drink too much and that it affects me horribly emotionally, but I still do it. I didn't mean for them to get dragged into it. Now there's trust issues, treating me more babyish, etc.
>got way too drunk
>it was a nice night out
>climbed low part of roof to drunk star gaze
>passed out on roof
>woke up to neighbor asking if I was ok the next day
>mfw half the neighborhood probably drove by that morning and saw me passed out on the roof
and that's when I decided I needed to cut back. i'm just thankful I didn't fall off the roof
anyone ever get this weird feeling that nothing feels familiar? like everything looks and feels foreign?
Like i know where i'm at and the people i'm with but it all feels so different. drives me crazy.
usually only happens when i'm coming down from a weekend bender but yeesh it sucks
Had been sober for a few months after promising family. Snuck in a few beers here and there
Coming up to xmas day i
Decided to buy a bottle of brandy so I can enjoy a couple of secret glugs during the day. Drank the whole thing
more or less
>I've been an function alcoholic for most of my life, I hate AA saying it's an illness, I make choices,
the worst part is that society makes it perfectly possible to be a functional drunk but you always, always hurt the people that you're close too. You can be alone and drink yourself to death or be with people and hurt them.
>currently 3/4pint down on the Northeast Corridor train
>pretending the kids sitting next to me can't smell me
>drunkie sweat stinks