The old thread died
I'm curious -
Nobody likes everyone, but do you like your local community overall? Why/why not?
What would you do to change it?
Even if there are problems, are you glad you joined?
i want to leave my community and become a lone lolita. the ones in my community i thought were my friends turned out to be backstabbing bitches and tried to turn more girls against me so i cant trust them. even though its a big city it feels like its the regulars who hate me and i dont know why they're doing this. i havent gone to any meets in months because i dont want to see them but its annoying because i want to wear my dresses out. i just dont like wearing them alone because of all the questions i get. theres another community but its 3-4 hours away, but they seem nicer. think its worth it?
I live in kind of a weird area, all of the closest comms to me are 2.5-3 hours away. I personally think it's kinda far to drive by myself with my busy schedule. Is this a normal amount of time to travel for a comm? I was kind of thinking trying to start a comm closer to where I live, but I don't want to be seen as a special snowflake. What do I do? Anyone I know in irl that is into Lolita is in these far away comms.
I'm techicilly in two different comms, but i mostly go to one over the other. Not saying i like that comm more, i've just made more friends in the another comm. My home comm is sweet and accepting(so is 2ndcomm) but i don't really connect that much with the girls though.
I'm new to the fashion, and while my comm is full if very sweet people, they're all already good friends, and it's been difficult getting to know anyone. It doesn't help that they don't like to stick around and talk; most of them seem to prefer to go to whatever the event is, see what there is to see, and then leave without socializing much.
There are other comms in cities nearby, but I'm not sure if it's even worth trying to know them since I'll be moving soon anyway. Oh well.
I was somewhat hesitant to join a comm but I'm really glad I did. My local comm is full of sweet girls, it's very active with at least one meet a month, usually more, they're always ready and willing to give advice, it's just a really pleasant environment.
I both love and hate my comm. Everyone I have met and spoke to has been wonderful people, but the divide and the elitist private comms, girls who avoid or ignore lolitas from the other groups, private meets, kinda leave a bad taste in my mouth. Yeah I know, they are all friends, whatever. The non ita (and sometimes ita) newbies (0-3 years) tend to be very nice people.
Private meets are fine, anon, they're usually just friend outings and happen to all be wearing lolita, and besides, it's not like you HAVE to hang out with someone based on their clothes, or how nice they are for that matter.
My comm is really quiet, save for the couple e-fame hungry people. I just wish more people would plan meetups, though, since it's been me plus a couple other people only who has planned the majority of the past several meets.
Me too anon, got into Lolita a year ago and some of them are really nice, but apart of the fashion I have almost nothing in common with them, and also they are very good friends, so yeah, sometimes I don't even know what to say so I just stay silent, I didn't go to some meets lately.
I guess it's my fault too since I am very anxious and my life and interests are quite boring.
My comm is okay but the main meet hosters are
a) underage tranny whos illegally buying hormones so they can gloat online, whos defense squad run to the aid of every time someone mentions them buying hormones illegally and probably destroying their body who also likes to selfpost on cgl
b) a poorly dressed chubby chan eliteist with a superiority complex who seems to think classic is lolitas saving grace and that without it theyll be nothing but another dirty evul sweet lolita (exception being the efamus ones who can send attention her way) our comns true saving grace
c) badly shooped efame hungry autist whos unable to handle meet related critisisim and just cant for the life of her work out why she could ever be disliked, even when she pooped in the blue cabinet.
And not a meet hoster but may as well be mentioned due to her ability to attend a meet and make it a circlejerk about her:
the fat alcoholic replica wearing attention whore who wears the same dirty wig and 300 unmatching bows with every coord, who is adored on cgl even though she posts on her sjw tumblr about how notbothered she is by the evul 4chan and is an ageplayer.
If some of the attendees were not so lovely this comm woulld be a disaster, its a shame these meet hosters put up with such weirdos, theres no reason to let a dirty guy who never shaves or a sissy who wears condoms in their wig into the meets...
> even when she pooped in the blue cabinet
Also, I know you intentionally misspelled things, but you also obviously unintentionally misspelled things like criticism as well.
>same dirty wig and 300 unmatching bows with every coord, who is adored on cgl
Archive link for this, or current thread? That seems hard to believe and I'd like to see this trainwreck sounding person for myself.
>a sissy who wears condoms in their wig
Jesus Christ, you've dropped a lot of interesting tidbits in this post that need elaboration.
>same dirty wig and 300 unmatching bows with every coord
is this that finnish/european lolita that wore different colour shoes + had gold stars clipped everywhere (including her waist)? I thought she was ripped apart last time she was posted. Bows before something?
>a sissy who wears condoms in their wig
deets, could've sworn that was a another lolita that was trying to be edgy with a ero coord?
too much drama, can't keep up
Does anyone else terribly stalk their local comm page on facebook? I have no idea if everyone does it and just doesn't like or comment, or if I'm just desperate for lolita friends. God, I swear I read every single post and comment, even though some of them are stupid. I feel like I would see more lolita stuff on facebook if I was actually friends with people from my comm, but I'm so fucking spergy online for some reason. I do fine in person, but we have like 1 meet a month so lots of people still don't know me.
I'm an Amerifag and even I know this is Sweden
Reach out to the other girls in those comms and say you want to start one in that area. That way they can advertise your comm to other girls who might be thinking the same thing as you, and you can come together for larger events. No idea why you think you'd be a special snowflake because you don't want to make what will end up being 5 hours minimum for a round trip.
anon is obv talking about bowsbeforeboyss. yes she's definitely chubby, crazy, and ott but she's pretty creative and has a i-don't-give-a-shit attitude which i think is what endears her to cgl. she's like a well-dressed PT, and seagulls love a good trainwreck.
either way you just sound salty swede (?) anon
>I'm an Amerifag and even I know this is Sweden
OP u forgot the comm list link
Does anyone know the berlin areas comm page?
I know about the event the 30-31st but since ill be there about two months or so id like to meet up with the rest of the comm if possible before then.
I would love both of these things, but I don't have the space to host a sleepover (and none of them know me that well so idk it feels kind if weird to me to host) and a good number of the members are underaged. Maybe I'll try to arrange something soon though.
I believe that's a swedish saying equivalent of 'now you fucked up' or something, but my source on that is some joke 'learn swedish' video
I'm not a member of the local comm and I don't know if I want to be, the public page used to be cringe with just random dress pics off lolibrary
the group has spelling errors in its description and no one's apparently pointed it out.. for like 2 or 3 years
My comm is pretty good. I love most of the girls, but it's hard to gauge how the girls are who I'm not close to, as they don't come to meets regularly. We've had a few weirdos posting on the FB page but we have minimal drama.
I've been out of touch with my local comm for over a year now. I'm trying to get back into it, but there are so many new members, it's a bit overwhelming. All the people I used to hang out with have stepped back because real life got in the way (meaning, more people are working longer hours, starting to have kids, getting married, and so forth). I was already one of the oldest members of the comm when I was active, but all the new members are even younger and it's a bit awkward.
I went to a meet last month, and I had never met or even seen half of the attendees on Facebook before. It was nuts. Kind of cool, to see that the comm is expanding, but nuts.
I think someone just feeling left out. Nothing have happened in the comm that stands out, seems more like just one salty bitch that can't take up their problems with the group and solve it a mature way.
Or, it's a troll just gathering info about what's been recently posted about on cgl in the Swedish thread. We are still a very nice community, this is just someone trying to start a fire.
Generally is it normal for people to want others to plan events or meets? For years our mod planned monthly events and for a short while a newer girl has been making events with her friends. Recently I've been seeing this girl complain how hard she works and how more people should create meets while the mod has never once complained or even mentioned it. Our Comm has between 5-15 averagely depending on the meet.
>I can play leader when need be but I'm not close enough to everyone to try to organize them to make it to a meet. I'm moving rather soon and I think I may have to make my own meets because Id have to ask for English speakers because I'd still be attending language school in new area but I'm worried smaller comms may get offended.
I need to know about the Metroplex Lolita Community for personal reasons
No. But I've been known to crop dust. It's even better when I'm in lolita in a crowded place, especially conventions. Nobody expects it was the dainty girl in the pretty dress that turned the hallway green.
I joined my comms fbook group a few months ago but haven't been able to attend any meets yet because I work weekends. There's one coming up that I really want to try to go to but its across town from my job so I'll only be able to stay about an hour to leave myself time to change before work. Plus I'll probably need a new dress for it since none of the few dresses I have are suitable for the activity (could get messy). Ugh I just want to make lolita friends asap
Are you me anon? I have to travel 3 hours to go to my comms meets too. There's a few girls that do meets near me but they're under age or really conservative, the girls three hours away from me are around my age (late 20's, early 30's) and don't mind having a glass of wine with dinner
It's pretty nice. I think there are a few cliques but everyone is usually pretty open and nice at the big meets. There are your handful of itas and I think most of them are very new, I saw photos of the nov/dec meets and didn't recognize most of the girls, but the ones who have been here for over a year can mostly offer decent coords and good company.
Most of them are very nice. I've only met a handful who are particularly standoffish or bitchy but the good thing is they don't hide it. But that's only maybe 5 or 6 girls of the 100+ on the active ones that I'm aware of. As a majority it actually is a bit of sunshine and rainbows because it's usually a happy comm. They offer a lot of advice in and out of Lolita from what I've seen on fb so they're good company. I made my best friend in the comm, but I think that's just DFW folks altogether. They're good people.
I like my comms members but I'm always annoyed by the handful of e-fame hungry girls we have.
None of us care about your blogs.
The comm is nice and there really isn't a lot of drama. Anything drama related is taken care of out of the comm and doesn't drag other members in or make people pick and choose friends and whatnot. We have a healthy flow of meets every weekend and make sure to not exclude anyone. Mods are good at deleting anything unrelated to the comm that might stir up excitement and everyone is pretty helpful when questions are asked.
I'd like to think the cliques in the comm aren't terrible because it's mostly the people who have been friends longer. We don't have a lot of "new" people coming to meetups unless they recently moved to the area for the most part. That being said, I don't think the cliques we have are of malicious intent.
tl;dr we aren't a very negative comm. Every comm has clique issues and every comm has an ounce of drama but ours for the most part is minimal from what I've experienced. We have a lot of active members in the group and our meetups range in size and location. A lot of the members live in the Dallas county area with a few in Denton and Tarrant. It's a nice flux.
I've been a member of my comm's FB for a while now but have never gone to a meetup. I really want to, but I somehow can't find any meetup discussions or announcements of meets aside from tea parties at anime cons, which I personally have no interest in. I do see a lot of coord posts and girls mentioning going on lolita outings with friends but those are probably private hangouts. Would it be weird to make a post asking the comm at large about meetups and why there don't seem to be any? Or should I message a mod? The obvious solution would be to organize one myself but I don't feel confident with taking all the responsibility of organizing an outing for people I have never even met. The last thing I "organized" was my 8th birthday party and my mom was the one doing all the work.
I think I'm in the same comm and I feel exactly the same way. Everyone seems nice but there's this weird rift and history that lead to the two comm groups things... I'm one of the newer members and it is definitely weird to walk into.
My local comm is literally like 4 people including myself. Thankfully we all dress well. Our state does have its own comm, but there aren't many more girls out there and they tend to be pretty ita. We're also all pretty spread out across the state, so there aren't a ton of meets. There's a big comm in the state next to ours so sometimes we'll make the trip up there to go to their meets. It's only a few hours each way so it's not terrible.
Because in every topic thread its "I wrote about this on my blog!" "I mentioned it on my blog!" and they link to it instead of actually posting to the comm. And that's all they do. They rarely ever post or talk except to promote their blogs.
It just comes across as self serving and looking for an audience and not friends.
This sounds exactly like the people in my comm who are e-fame hungry on YouTube. All they do is talk about their videos constantly and do collabs with each other. It's gotten to the point where some of them have even gotten in trouble with the comm mods because they would vlog meetups without people's permission.
I just joined a comm, and went to my first meet up. Everyone was really sweet, but the comm is notorious for being horribly petty and drama filled on /cgl/; to a point where people from out of the country are sick of them. I wonder if they just over exaggerated it, or if Im just not "in" enough to notice yet.
I left my comm recently after near ten years of being a member. It used to be lovely and we all got along well. Then about 6 years ago some big drama happened causing the good miss to leave and the Cgl dwelling members to take over. We all come here but there is rules about not posting images from the closed group page. That rule got thrown out and the new head mod posts the new Lolitas constantly. If someone else posts images from the group she hunts them down and bans them to keep up good appearences.
Almost all the original members have left since she took over. Most of us are still friends personally and want to make our own group for people she's driven out of the group. But she keeps trying to slander us for "taking her memembers". All we want to do is make a safe place for local Lolitas to share their progress in the fashion without fearing of getting posted.
We have a few girls doing that in our comm. It's not even a polite "hey do you guys want to be in my vlog? Or is it okay to have a shot of you guys?"
It's just welp here's a camera in your face, act natural, don't mind me teehee!!
Half the time it's when we're eating. Nothing more kawaii when your face is stuffed with food and you're trying to have a nice chat with your friends. I can't say anything without being labelled a elitist...
If she's as bad as you are saying, then make the new group and be the good mod you want to be.
I love my comm, there are some girls who wear horrible milanoo and handmade shit but they're nice and fun to hang out with. There are some who dress nice, and a lot of girls who dress just OK. A lot of the girls are older, which is also nice. I find them easier to talk to (less spastic and annoying)
The mod of my current community is a total pain in the ass.
She's ALMOST 14, only owns a JSK that she hopes she will "someday" fit even though she is currently morbidly obese. She constantly talks about loving decora/fairy key because you can get everything at claire's and it's "really easy"
She bitches about how mean online drama people-including getting tearful that people allegedly doxxed various members and on lolcow.
I can't stand her. She also constantly changes setting on the page from closed to private to public because "it bothers her friend to see her posting on the page"
I was wearing cream cookie collection and she didn't even recognize the print when I did a meet.
probably will continue this rant later. advice, gulls?
Are there any gulls here whose comms don't have "official" mods? That's how my comm basically is. In a way, it works because my comm is pretty small and hosts meetups once every month or two. I'm just wondering if anyone is the same way.
Smaller comms can get away with no mods. But larger comms with over 100 members need official mods to keep the creeps out and keep the group relevant. Larger cons can attract a lot of creepy men trying to get with someone who looks underage. We can blame the age players for that one.
I hate having my pics on the internet (especially in scenarios where it can possibly turn out unflattering). I usually speak with the photographer in private and ask about not posting pictures or video of me online. No one has reacted negatively so far, and they have been very courteous about it.
Just kindly speak to her and express your concern. Everyone in the community knows how much it sucks to be captured in an unflattering way and later be ripped apart for it.
The league of legends player in me keeps reading this a Miss Fortune.
I've only been to a few meets with my comm but desu they aren't all that friendly. I found it very difficult to make any friends in the comm since its quite large and everyone is very clique-ish. There isn't much, if any, drama but most people seem quite snobbish in general which makes them really unwelcoming to newcomers. Everyone dresses really well so that isn't much of a concern.
We've had official mods from the very start, even though our comm is under 100 members. I think it's just hugely dependent on the area in which your comm is and what kind of applicants you'd expect or get. We have to weed out a lot of cosplayers (who have no interest in lolita) and creeps so it's always been easier to have a consistent moderation process for that.
Everyone's nice, average to well dressed, about 10 people~ who regularly attend meetups, I've seen as many at 30 show. San Antonio isn't a very frilly city so meetups can be kind of hard to plan, and it's hard to work around people's schedules. But no drama, and it's pleasant to be in, just don't expect a meetup every weekend unless you want to plan it.
Not saying I would go against someone's wishes if they asked this, or that I'd be rude to them because I've worked in customer service, so I know how to deal with people and give them what they want so they shut up, but god this is irritating. Like you go ask them to not post you online? I'd laugh as soon as you were done talking to me.
You sound like you have a ton of friends.
One of my comm members asks to not get tagged in photos and generally trys to avoid photos because shes about 30 with a career and can't be too public with things. We had an issue with a tea event holding its own lolita event and they tagged everyone on instagram, which we had to share to go, on the multiple photos they took of her and others not all of which were very nice.
Can somebody tell me wtf this was about? Somebody shit themselves at a meet?
Then what the fuck did you join? Make a new one and run it properly. You might get some hate on her end but just be the one that takes it with grace and make a good comm that isn't run by a raging weeb.
Reposting from the Lolita General Thread because I misposted.
I'm moving soon and I just got really used to the central florida lolita society. Are there any societies based in NY (state), Pennsylvania, Or Conneticut that you say are pleasant ( I don't mind a little saltiness but relatively drama free) and active? I'm going to be in southern NY closer to Pennsylvania but I don't mind traveling a bit in either direction.
Why? You sound you are under 20 years old and your whole life is online. Most people above that age value online privacy. A lot of job recruiters look at social media today.
She wouldn't be asking an event photographer to delete every pic with a trace of her, just candid ones, and ones that feature her. Obviously posed group photos are okay since the person is voluntarily standing in them.
Does anyone happen to know anything about the Statesboro, GA comm? I applied to join a few months ago but haven't gotten any response yet so I guess the group is dead. I'm in the Savannah comm and can attend meets there on occasion but I think that having a comm closer to have meets with would be really nice. Is anyone else in statesboro? Is that group completely dead? Would it be pointless to maybe make a new one?
Some people avoid their picture being posted because of stalkers or something else that can pose a danger to them. Don't be such a dick and laugh at people who want their privacy. Attending a closed-group event is not an invitation to be publicly blasted everywhere.
I like my local comm, but they're not very active on Facebook. I've been to more meet ups in a different comm than my local one because they are more fun. The people in my local comm are all very nice and I wish I had a chance to get to know them a bit more, but the meet ups are usually boring or not during times where I can go anyway.
I'm actually thinking about stepping away from my comm for a bit, if not leaving lolita altogether.
One of the main reasons I've stayed in the fashion for so long was the community aspect, I enjoy hosting meets and getting to meet newcomers and catch up with old friends. Lately though a lot of the newer girls who joined maybe 2-3 years ago have started to really ruin it for me.
Super cliquey and at times highly judgemental staying in the community is starting to become quite a task.
I want to just detach myself from the situation entirely.
My comm has a lot of underage people. I don't have much in common with them. Some of the older people are really nice and much better dressed. I wish we had more meets though. We tend to have less than one a month. I'm just really lonely and would like to make some lolita friends. I guess I should host some.
>a sissy who wears condoms in their wig
It was a joke in an overly-ero coord, not trying to be edgy or serious. I got the impression they weren't serious with anything about the coord, that person is dressed good otherwise.
I read that part. I also read the part where you need to stop being retarded and accept that you don't have reasons to feel so superior because someone asked you to respect their privacy. You're the faggot you laughed at being asked. Start thinking outside of your asshole.
I'm probably going to be taking a break from my comm. Jax, Fl comm is going downhill again..would probably be better off going to the central or tally comm meetups because ours are pretty lame now.
I used to feel really stuck in the middle in my comm. Most of the regulars and better-dressed girls are 24-26 and working. Most of the rest of the comm are 13-16-year-old high schoolers, and I was a 19-year-old student. But I transferred to an area with a better university and the new comm is full of students, so now I'm actually in the dominant group.
If it were not for a few friends, I'd leave the comm. it has come down to the mods and volunteers from the Ohio comm handing out best dressed awards to itas. The best dressed award was given to an ita during the Ohayocon Lolita crush panel. Full blown ita. Milanoo tier outfit with fox ears. There were plenty of well dressed Lolita's and the mods and etlists of the group ignored them. They stayed within their snobby clique.
There are a number of well dressed lolitas in Ohio. We actually had a well dressed brolita in the Comm before he left and he won the best dressed award last year.
It's important to help out those who are joining the fashion. We all need to navigate them to coord better and buy better pieces instead of Milanoo. You don't seem to be helping out making the Comm better. It takes time and dedication.
I didn't say that the person in question be given the award. I wished the judges would take into account the coord each lolita was wearing. Of course the Lolita Crush Panel was a clusterfuck from the beginning due to poor planning and procrastination. The Comm asked for help to assess what could be done last year, but this was thrown out by the people who ran Ohayocon. This is not the Comm's fault here.
Oh for christ sake, it's a FART. We all fart, it's smelly and embarrassing but we all do it. Maybe it's the 12 year old in me but if I was at a meet and some girl in a frilly dress farted loudly I'd probably die laughing, it's nothing to get so worked up over. If fart-chan is reading this, done sweat it. If that comm doesn't want to talk to you after a goddamn fart those aren't people you need in your life.
The New Year's meet was probably the best meet I've attended. Potluck could have been more coordinated (too many sweets), but the majority of the attendees were well dressed. Usually the group is hit or miss, but this time was definitely a hit. I wish pictures were taken sooner or they had posted when they'd be since people were leaving early or arriving way late. But still way more planned and attended than anything else I've seen.
Really because the only person who host meets who was really good at going all out has pretty much gone on hiatus and half of the other meetups are mall meetups. Pretty sure Central comm is one of the most popular since they consistently have meetups. Not like half assed ones where the host shows up 35 minutes late. I think YOU live under a rock.
A well known girl is making meet ups and providing food. She often requests money for coverage but in my opinion is asking way to much for how much there actually is at an event. I honestly think she's justifying this by "paying" herself for her time, which is dumb since this should be a hobby that people do for fun. Or is just straight out scamming.
Sorry, from the northern midwest.
If this is about bows before boys I find her really annoying desu... I'm not even from Sweden but I stalked her social media once and it was awful/entertaining to look at. Her best outfits are just okay, and her bad ones are absolute train wrecks. I find her overall attitude really annoying and she keeps posting weird sultry /sexy images on her instagram.
>tfw know like four les/bi/pan/whatthefuckever lolitas
It's really something I'm thinking about because there's nobody in the comm I'm interested in, but I think I'd find it strange dating someone who had no interest in fashion or alt fashion at all, and I don't know how to find people that are open-minded to weird fashions (or even considering trying them) but aren't actually in them.
>just want someone to twin with
Do you honestly KNOW how much it cost for her to buy everything? No. She is not scamming and I honestly think she should charge more. It's not JUST a hobby it is her income and another thing she loves doing.
You're in Atlanta right anon? I'm not in Atlanta but shit I could visit sometimes. I have a boyfriend but he lets me do shit with girls...but I've yet to do shit with girls because I'm too awkward to hit on them.
Yeah that's one thing, but handing out a best dressed award to an ita is not helping her out. Its only encouraging the way she dresses. why not give her tips instead of an award?
Sure, there are plenty of well dressed Lolita's in the comm, but there is a bunch who are snoots. Just because someone is well dressed doesn't make them sweet. Like for example, J, N and Mel who are sweet hearts. They're more than welcoming to new comers, itas, ect. Then there is M, who isnt very kind. She shoots off glares and ignores those who are outside her group.
Well obviously it's to offset the cost of the meetup. I've hosted many large meetups where the members have to pay to participate, though often i go over budget and spend out of my own pocket anyways because i love my comm and i want to throw fun events for everyone. BUT
>It's not JUST a hobby it is her income
>not just meetups. Hosting parties and events as well
Both these anons suggest differently.
I think I was the only brolita, and I got there late, but there were a couple of tables there that had people who seemed a little... standoffish. A friend and I got there and sure, I did have a couple people ask about my coord, but the main ones at that table and afterward at the swap meet seemed to be really standoffish to ones not in their comm. I think I caught a few disapproving looks form many of them too. IDK why, because I try to be a friendly guy, but maybe they didn't want me in their fashion.
I think the host just wasn't sure where to line up the food given how many tables were brought out for the swap, but it was a blast. Most everyone looked amazing, I had a ton of fun, no drama, super kind. I hope we can do this every year!
I want to just ditch my comm because they're poor and ugly, but they're so nice and welcoming. I don't wanna be seen together with old looking girls in cheap coords because as far as the people in town know I'm cute and wear european-looking clothes, not a loud crazy lady in bedsheet skirts.
The only ones I've heard talk shit about other girls are the itas ones who are cringy. They're like 35+ and have weeb animu names on their FB and post explicit yaoi shit on their public facebooks, ugh.
Yeah, I do think you're too salty. But I'm hardly crying about it.
I don't know what you expect out of meets, but if Florida comms are mediocre it's because instead of having people in this state that want to make a difference and participate, we have too many people that want to bitch and complain anonymously on 4chan instead of doing something about it. And the people that do in fact do something about it get shat on. Look at the threads about Dream Fantasy Theatre for a prime example.
I don't know, maybe it's the fact that we're surrounded by ocean, but perhaps if there was less salt going around and more people actually trying to make friends it wouldn't matter if a meet was as fancy as tea at the Grand Floridian or as humble as watching Kamikaze Girls in someone's home.
I travel at least 2 and a half hours to almost every meet I attend, due to my "local" (still an hour away) comm being dead/most of the girls in my "local" comm are in this bigger city comm anyway. I find the commute to be worth it, just because it's really nice to be with a group of like-minded people. Also, my comm is really chill and I've made a lot of close friends with some of the girls involved, so it makes it worthwhile. I would probably not be interested in the long commute if I felt the people in the comm were unlikable or rude.
Blame that on scheduling. The printed schedule read 11:30-1:30 or some shit. The table of better dressed girls and mods were all helping or donated prizes. They were there to assist the event, not to compete. A lot of other lolitas came in as the event was wrapping up due to the printed sched being entirely wrong
I'm aware of that, I was there. However, I don't like the cattiness and rudeness of some well dressed members including a mod. I also don't agree with them handing out the better dressed prize to an ita.
I think you forgot that the audience voted. There were maybe 20 people who were into the fashion. The rest were cosplayers and con kids there for free food. All the lolitas couldve voted the same way and the results would have differed because of the attendance.
And who was being catty? And how?
It said 11:00-1:00 and I had to ask someone which was right, so I and my friend didn't get there until they were handing out prizes or I'd have entered. Maybe. Or maybe not. I'd have lost anyway, but hey, I'd have entered. Also, why, if they knew it was going to be that way, did most of the locals end up going to a different meet? Also, why did most of the locals seem so standoffish? I could barely get any of you to talk with me, so I gave up.
>did most of the locals end up going to a different meet?
You're the dealer right, with the friend in the witch coord?
We kept asking about crush for months in advance. Nothing. We planned our usual meetup. Still no word. Then bam two weeks later, "hey, there's this mysterious lolita crush" event on the web schedule. That's sure nice of them. Some people volunteered to help, the rest were fed up and went to the event that was already planned ahead of time. So that was Ohayocon's fuck up there.
I can't tell you why people were standoffish. Generally, most people tend to be really accepting and welcoming, but everyone varies. It might've been that we were all just kind of annoyed with the turnout of the event and everything going on with it.
Yes, that was me. Ohh, there were a few who seemed pretty friendly, but most seemed to be upset about something and only stuck to their friends. I was wondering why. I actually wondered if it was me being male and in it since I have ran into people who had problems with that before.
My one brolita friend, Venus-chan, invited me to go along with the other group, but at Matsuricon I kinda got the cold shoulder from some of them too when he tried to invite me along, so I declined then. I've almost given up on doing lolita at cons in Columbus.
I doubt it had anything to do with your gender. We have a few male lolitas in our comm and we're super chill with them. The best I can guess is that people were so fed up with the event that they just wanted to keep the negative comments within the circle of people who helped, which could come off as clique-ish
It definitely felt clique-ish. I was left wondering what I did wrong, and would have left, but I wanted to stick it out and provide moral support to my friend who was there and of course at the swap meet I wanted to meet up with a couple friends who were going to be coming to it.
I was wondering if I did my coord wrong, or if it was because I am male and not exactly small, or that I didn't do any makeup (I don't know how to do it well, so I don't do it at all). I know that the main thing I did wrong was to try breaking in my boots at the con, which I still have multiple blisters and bandaids on them because of that, but I really and truly wondered if I was committing some faux pas at the con. It felt the same at Matsuricon last year too. My one friend from down in Alabama who is a brolita and is in your comm didn't have the same experience, but then he is much smaller than I am.
I will be a bit honest here, but I don't mean it to be harsh or rude. I'm not a judgemental person and I don't let any preconceptions get in the way of getting to know someone. But you seem like you'd like a little help pointing in the right direction.
I think the difference is, not exactly weight or size. We have some others that are larger, taller, etc. I think it's that... it's hard to walk the line between a brolita/male who wears lolita and dude in a dress. The others that are in the comm now, as well as your friend do their best to look the part and try to be as well put together as they possibly can, give or take experience level and what not. Whereas it can be easy to just put on a dress, a wig, maybe do a little makeup and call it a day. But even with women, it takes more than that to really make everything in the fashion come together properly. Otherwise it can look sloppy. Although I feel with other girls, it's easier to forgive them as just being new. But with guys, we're unsure of whether you're seriously into the fashion (which I personally know you are), someone who sees it as crossplay, or just a sissy or a creep using the fashion to pick up chicks. We don't react that way toward others, and certianly not toward some of the more established Brolitas in the comm.
So I think it might help to up your game as far as presentation goes. Learn some good makeup techniques, get things custom made if you need to. There's so many great options out there now, and I don't think a lot of people even judge whether or not you're in brand, but can judge based on overall presentation. Also some better wigs would help a lot. The twintail look is less preferred to more natural and realistic wigs. I tend to save my one twintail wig for OTT sweet and pinning tons of things to it. Otherwise, I wear higher quality curly/wavy wigs with less sheen in natural colors that flatter my skin tone.
I need so much help in most of those regards. I just have been muddling through. I have a friend down in Florida who is a lifestyle lolita, and she wants me to come down so she can put me through a lolita bootcamp. I've been doing it for so long, but have not completely settled on my style. She wanted me to visit, wear her spare DDC, and go out with her to a meet, all fully done up, but that almost seems scary to me because it wouldn't be in the convention safe zone.
GO FOR IT.
I think it will help you out! Besides, if it's not in your area, there's little to worry about. It's hard to really go over everything at a convention setting or even just online. But I think doing so and seeing it in person will help a ton with your improvement.
You really should go for it. Meetups tend to always be really welcoming environments and no one bats an eye at a brolita, to be honest. You'd fit right in, it's not a "unsafe" area to try it out at.
kind of adding to the 2nd paragraph
Theres a clear difference between for example pic related. The one of the left is clearly in it for the fashion knows his stuff and isnt in it for the chicks. While the right brolita looks better then obvious sissys but hes still questionable. Hes wearing makeup and did a little something with his hair but the shoes and the outfit in general doesnt look like much research was done.
in my comm however we have a well dressed pretty educated brolita, who knows his size, chooses taobao and offbrand and "follows the rules" as well as another brolita who will wear brand but always wears neon or rainbow wigs, converse or other poor shoe choices, no makeup and his bra will be showing when he chooses not to wear a blouse. Due to his non rule following (neon rainbow wig, no blouse and brand) he made it real easy for others to find his fetish profile where age play and sissy kinks were listed when searching by area.
Im just trying to say a lot of girls are weary when brolitas dont look at least 8/10 because it usually means its part of their kink
>do you like your local community overall? Why/why not?
Yes. ive yet to be a main part of drama, we have regular meets, and we dont really have itas just heavy nitpicks
>What would you do to change it?
Our comm has two major "groups". One is the 24-27 year olds who post everything online. A few of those seem like theyre in it for efame. The other group are 26+ with little online presence besides the occasional print post on instagram. Our mods fall in this category as theyve been in or started the comm over 6 years ago. There are a few younger or in between who havent picked a group or been picked by one ...ages are kind of just speculations not necessarily the "requirements" of the group. Its not the groups that are the problem its the fact that the first group is almost always starting shit with the main mod who keeps everything offline ...if anything is actually happening. In the past a friend or two from the first group had drama with the mod or so the friend claims in her blog. Now these efame searchers are posting facebook statuses left and right about the mod and half of the time not hiding it from the mod or her friends. Since that group is older, shit doesnt go down but instead its just passive aggressive chats at meets.
Also the online "omg you were so cute sorry i didnt get the chance to talk you! ;,,,( despite the fact I spent three hours sitting next to you and ignoring you!" is really getting on my nerves. It just shows how much they want on online presence. Its especially annoying when they do it often because you have other jfashion friends theyre trying to attract via your instagram/blogging pages.
I dunno, I'd do the shit out of the girl brolita as a gay brolita and the other dude looks like a fucking man in a dress. An unattractive man in a dress. Having a dick is basically the greatest thing left-brolita has ever given me.
I'd like to add that people are more wary of brolitas at conventions than regular meets in general, as well. If a male has gone through the effort of leaving the "comfort zone" to show up to a meet, it's likely he's got more interest in the fashion than just picking up or fulfilling a fetish. For one thing, it's outside of that safety zone mentioned here >>8820539. You can't just play it off with "oh, haha, yeah, dude in a dress!" the way a lot of con brolitas do when confronted, for one thing.
Regardless, you should take your friend up on the offer to help you. Especially if you're in need of hair and make up tips, because putting an effort in and improving over time is going to help you in pretty much every way.
It'll make you feel more confident, as you develop a new skill, it'll make your coordinates look better and more cohesive, and it'll also help you integrate with lolitas in general, because we appreciate a genuine effort to improve and take con crit.
Yeah I showed up at the Lolita Crush after 11 because I'd only seen the printed schedule, talked to like 3 girls and then left. I'm from out of state and didn't know anyone and most of the lolitas that were still there just looked pretty annoyed and unapproachable which I guess makes sense now
You could always create a new group as well as stay in the old comm. It makes no sense for people in northern MI to be in the current comm, in my opinion, because most of the people and all of the events are in SW MI. Hell, I'm in southern MI and still don't have the time/energy to drive to most of the events that are 2 hours away. Living in this state is suffering.
why not just host a meet that is closer to you (or the anon you're replying to) though? most of the meets are in SE MI because that's where the people planning them are, or are near. if you want near you, then plan one
I'm not complaining that there aren't meets closer to me, just saying that it can be difficult living in a relatively large yet rural state. I am not involved enough to feel comfortable making a meet up, and to be honest, there isn't a whole lot here that would warrant people driving 1-3 hours for.
I don't see why it would be a problem for the other anon to create a smaller group or whatever for people closer to them; plenty of states have multiple comms/groups.
I don't think it'd be a problem, I just think that it'd be a lot of effort to make a new group just for that part of the state when you could just host a meet there - the same people would come regardless, but some people from mid/eastern MI might make the trip, too.
The closet comms to me are the NYC ones. I've decided that this is the year I'm going to my first meet and I'm waiting for the first one of the year to pop up that's open to all members.
I'm just ultra nervous they'll think I'm an overly excitable shit when I'll probably just be overwhelmed to meet people
Good luck, those are far and few inbetween in the "main" comm page, unless you want to wait for the weeby Sakura Matsuri where you can meet a ton of lolitas. Just join what some people call the "ita comm". There are some well dressed people there, not really itas anymore, and meets are posted sometimes.
>live in melbourne
>apparently it's a hotspot for lolita comms
>try to join through fb
>still pending acceptance after forever
I looked at her page, didn't tell me anything about her age, but she shares a lot of articles on autism. That at least explains latching onto a particularly annoying communication style.
They are few and far between because they are are hard to plan. Honestly, no one will care that you're "new", jsut pick a place you want to go to (cafe, museum, whatever) create an event, post it on the nyc lolitas facebook, and people will say if they want to go or not.
for your first meetup, your best best are somewhere well known like alice's (it's cliche but people always want to go), have a set number of seats like 8 or 10 (i forget what their reservation policy is) and make people pay in advance. keep a waitlist so if someone backs out you can fill the spot. if the place you pick has a no-show penalty, make sure there's a non-refundable deposit so you don't get stiffed.
to add to this, i think meetups that have a pay-in-advance set up work best for our comm because i generally don't RSVP to a meetup if I think there's a good chance it will get cancelled at the last minute, and if people haven't already paid, they are more likely to back out last minute and dick everyone over, so with that kind of policy, you tend to get more serious people rsvping.
I hosted an nycgull meet FOREVER ago and I had a really great time, if anyone wants to shoot me an email maybe we can figure out a new time and place to meet up?
Not sure about the cat cafe though, theres not a ton of room in there and I'd be worried about a cat accidentally clawing at my dress.
My comm is great but the facebook page seems like a mess. There's so many random posts all the time from people I never even see at meets, and lately there seems to be an influx of noobs asking dumb questions, or questions that had already been asked and could be found by scrolling a bit. I'm not even angry about it, just kind of bewildered.
I meant that there are two comms, one chinese & one main. not hard to understand... If you're the new one that just joined, i'd up my coord game if i were you. I'm guessing you're really new and all but everything in the coords put up is super mismatched / all from different substyles. I probably sound like a bitch but... yeah... please make use of the coord help threads.
I'm assuming the chinese comm is made up of newly immigrated chinese people or ones studying abroad
my old high school had a high number of fob chinese students and they would always group together and not even try to socialize with the non asians or 2nd/3rd gen immigrant asian kids
Because it's easier to communicate? I'm pretty sure people can join both if they wanted to. In the Chinese one it's expected you know the Chinese language. Some of them may just want to occasionally relax and not struggle with the English language when in lolita.
There's someone in my comm who always wants to touch dresses she's never seen before and examine them from every angle. She always asks before doing it so it comes off more cute than anything and I personally don't mind, but the way she asks always makes me wonder if someone's gotten mad at her for it before because she's always really hesitant about asking and apologizes for being weird.
As a dress toucher myself, I always ask and be polite as possible because there are so many horror stories about unwashed masses grabbing fistfuls of skirt, and nobody wants to be manhandled by someone they don't know. She might have just read the stories too and also doesn't want to become one of them.
Chinese people like to segregate themselves and be amongst others who speak their language and have the same cultural background. It's not really unusual to see. Where I'm from, the Chinese community is very tight knit. They all know each other lol, it's rather impressive. And most of them are FOB Chinese which explains a lot. It's probably comforting to them.
There are a few Chinese lolitas in our area and they haven't joined our Comm. They have their own Comm and it reminds me how Chinese students stick with one another in college. When I do see them (usually it's on LSE), I send them an invitation to join the Comm on Facebook. However, the invitation falls on deaf ears.
Eventually they no longer want to be secluded and decide to integrate with the Comm. I know several that have jumped out of their comfort zone and made friends with the Comm members. It takes time.
This isn't just a Melb phenomenon. It's been discussed that other cities have the same thing happen. I know Sydney, Aus and NYC lolitas have reported it to be the case in their communities as well. It's something that CG talked about in past threads sometimes, too.
Everyone has basically summed up why already.
Curious, does anyone else have a best Lolita friend in their comm they talk shit about everyone else in their comm with? It's so relieving to just spill all the hatred you've been keeping in with someone on the car ride home from a meet.
I'm at an awkward in between. I like making fun of bad coords and maybe uggos (mostly just shitty makeup or hair, rarely do I bash someone for genetics) and for the stupid things that come out of some people's mouths. One of my best lolita friends never has a bad thing to say about anyone, and the other starts bitching about almost everyone in the comm or everything about a meet up the second we're out of ear shot. I need another moderately salty lolita, not the mild and flaming hot ones I've got.
Same. Most of the people I hang out with can get crazy salty and it's honestly exhausting. I just want someone to be able to discuss bad coords with honestly, not bash the whole person or their personality.
yesss I have 2 friends that I can be salty with. and unlike >>8831531 they're moderate so like, it's all cool and chill. we don't necessarily like, mean girls style shit talk but there's some annoying people in the comm and weird behaviors and activities from lolitas in general that we like to bitch about together. for the most part i'm pretty easy going but it's nice to have those people to complain about annoying girls and petty grievances with.
I'm in a couple of comms based on my area. The farther away one is super nice, active, and well-dressed. The closer one isn't as active. The last meet was months ago. There's this one girl who's constantly sharing posts to the Facebook group. Mostly just resharing stuff from Lolita Updates and popular lolita youtube channels. It's nice that she's trying to make the group more active but it's gotten annoying.
Ok, so I know that most community members are inactive; whether it be online or irl.
My comm is mostly dead, I have a 1-2 comm members actively participating in posts, buying and doing lolita-related stuff.
The rest of the community might as well not exist.
I just want to have a faily active communit, seriously just 10 people would be a dream come true.
I post regularly, spark conversations about recent topics, media, trends, etc but its always me talking to just a couple of members.
We are +30 why does this happen?
> mfw I have two other lolita friends I can safely gossip with
Make the group private and kick them out. If it's a small community then you can keep it small, more like a club than an open group. If people haven't ever shown up for a meet in like a year+, remove them from the group. Nothing says lolita comms have to be completely open to everyone and their mom wanting to join. That's how you end up with comms that have 400+ people but only 20 show up.
I wish I did. All my man friends know way too much about lolita gossip now. They could have used that brain space for useful information but god damn I just have to tell SOMEONE.
But now they share all their weird subculture gossip with me too.
I doubt they're telling the whole story, if they're telling the truth at all. You get a lot of people like that posting here. If it real, they're a likely a creep and there's a reason they were banned, or they're just trying to stir up shit.
>not even in that comm, this is just common on cgl
You were terrible. You were not nice and threaten violence on others in the Comm. I can't believe that you still have not gotten over your banning from the Comm. You've been banned for over 15 months now. Get over it you blockhead.
SF Comm is better off without you now. I'm glad you're gone.
Pic related, it's you.
Is this the one who was banned from the SF store after being overheard in the dressing rooms?
Didn't know he was even a part of the comm to begin with. Thought that was just a store-specific thing.
And no, I wasn't talking about how "sexy" I felt in the dresses. This particular salesgirl was rude to me on several occasions, and was actually listening to me while standing outside the dressing room. The other salesgirl actually rang up my sale from the start. I wouldn't have tried on the dress if I wasn't in doubt as to it's measurements, and the salesgirl invited me to try the dress on. There was nothing unusual about the sale, and the dress is beautiful. And if you don't like sissies, your hatred is on you, nobody else. I love all frills.
I also did not do anything to hurt the comm, or anyone in Lolita. The controlling people in the comm acted totally out of hatred, and what happened at Baby should have stayed at Baby.
It sounds like you live in a small town, or there just aren't enough people interested in j-fashion in your city. Is there a nearby comm you could do joint meets with? Otherwise I would suggest promoting yourselves at cons to increase visibility. What about the other 30+ members? Are they too young to go to meets? How did they find the comm?
I feel like I don't have that much in common with the girls in my comm other than the clothes we wear. Sure they're all really sweet and it's empowering to walk down the streets with a bunch of other lolitas but we just don't click.
How many times have you been to meets? I felt like this with my most local comm at first but then got to know them better and love them now.
You also might find better friends in another comm, especially if the members of the one you're in right now are younger or at different points in their lives. My best friends are from a comm about 2.5 hours away.
Some girl in my comm posted this and I'm trying to figure out what the hell she's talking about because she wasn't kicked from our community and I never see drama about her in /cgl/
Anon if it makes you feel better my comm is more than 5 years old and sometimes we get 3 people show up despite having over a 100 members and 20 "goings". lately it's been more active because we have bigger events
I'm kinda pissed that she got bullied out of Atlanta comm through borderline-blackmailing by the mods.
even after she left for good, girls from the clique are still stalking her fb, Instagram and probably collecting imgs to post on lolcow or btb
>if you don't like sissies, your hatred is on you
>if you don't like gross-looking fetishists invading your hobby and sexualising it's reputation then YOU'RE the bad guy
oh my god fuck off
your victim complex is off the charts
I've been very like with all the 3 comms I've been part of. There were lots of warm and supporting people who love the fashion and doing things together, so it's always been great.
There was some drama when I joined my first comm tho, mainly because of missunderstanding and the other part not wanting to talk to me at all so no way to fix it, but it split in two so the other part was no longer my comm anymore.
My comm has wanted to do a walk for ages, but it has been so poorly organised that, by this point, I don't want to join. It makes me sad because I've had plans for what to wear for ages, but it's like they forgot and I can't drop work obligations.
I wish we had more fun events. I want to create some, but I'm new. My dream is to go to a restaurant I know that does custom orders daily and eat there in lolita, but the bill is $90-180 pp and that won't happen.
>"please dress more conservative and normal, my husband knows people around here and if they see me hanging out with somebody dressed out of the norm it will affect his career"
Not involved in this comm but DESU if someone said this to me I would first tell them to get the fuck over themselves, and secondly I'd ask them what they expected when they joined a lolita fashion group.
Stay away from that girl anon. Her and Racist-Chan decided to go on a witch hunt to get another girl banned. I guess ol' Lolex can't stand being held accountable for her own actions. Anyway, Racist-Chan was also banned and now they can thrive together in hatred. Despite being banned they showed up to crash a recent meetup. Salty bitches can't get over the fact they were booted and will continue to harass that comm.
I'll dig up the archives for you.
It helps if you send a message to one of the mods. Kelly is the most active one. There are a lot of spam accounts, so they sit on ones they're not sure of to see if they get deleted by Facebook.
Anyone know who this is? Like either of them?
Our comm hasn't had a big meet in years. Every time is mentioned we get a bunch of 'lolitas at heart' who want to go, but can't the place be closer to theirs, also I have nothing to wear so can I just wear normal clothes, also let's not order anything expensive
What the hell am I supposed to talk to you about then
I just started out in lolita recently and I'm wondering when is the right time to seek out a comm. I wouldn't exactly consider myself a lolita quite yet, but for future reference, but when did you gulls first decide to join a comm?
I was actually a member of the comm, but I was blocked and scarlet-lettered by the conspiracy of a few people; one was a salesgirl at Baby. What I am still mystified is why she was hostile to begin with, since I had already purchased a complete outfit the year before, as well as a LP. As a 'brolita', I (still) am reluctant to wear any loli-clothes in public, even with a good shave and lots of make-up. No I am not in the comm, but I was blocked without any notice from any mods. I didn't even get to tell my side of the story.