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Tips on lying your fucking ass off on your resume?
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Tips on lying your fucking ass off on your resume?

I've got my foot in the door with seven months as OSP drafter engineer, but with no degree and no other relevant exp yet I feel like I need a boost to my chances in getting a new job.
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>>1086951
bump
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>>1086951

Remember that lying in any way provable can result in termination with cause (which prevents you from collecting unemployment and etc)

Now that the disclaimer is out of the way...

Research what the job does. Try to find common problems/issues they have so that you have some conversation fodder.

An undercover cop trick is 'that one story' where you tell a story that's bullshit with heart, so people who should know better believe it. You're gonna want a 'that one story' just in case you're asked for shit you might have done.
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>>1086951
Good luck. In meetings, conversation, and work generally everyone there will smell your lack of education
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>>1087024
This.

The best kind of lies are ones wrapped in the truth.
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>>1087033
Second this.
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>>1087024
>An undercover cop trick is 'that one story' where you tell a story that's bullshit with heart, so people who should know better believe it. You're gonna want a 'that one story' just in case you're asked for shit you might have done.

Bingo. If OP is getting interviews, his resume might be alright. But if he's getting interviews, then he better learn how to ace them. And 'that one story' is a tool of the trade!

Interviewers love anecdotes, and as this guy put it, they love anecdotes with *heart*. You better have a little story as an answer to each kind of behavioral interview question. These little stories provide a glimpse of your competence on the job, so be sure to share them with the interviewer.

And these anecdotes don't necessarily have to be bullshit, they just need a little *spin*. Little white lies. Embellish, but don't exaggerate. You may have done a good job in regards to a particular situation, but you're not going to say that. You're going to talk about how you aced that shit twice over. You dig?

A little warning: keep these things short and concise. To the point. Don't sperg out and start rambling in the interview. At the most, your answer should be 60 to 70 seconds max. Practice makes perfect! Record yourself and make note of your voice, your inflection. Make your speech interesting, and in this way you'll keep your audience engaged and interested.

tldr: A big part of interviews include your past experiences, and how you handled certain situations. Narratives reflect your competency, not short answers. You'll answer these questions with brief anecdotes. Win.
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